Slow Dancing in a Dark Room
by Ashesofthefirststar
Summary: After the Quincy war, the worst scars gained are the ones you can't see. Especially for a now blind Byakuya. Powerless and ashamed, he feels without a purpose. With Ichigo's help, he begins to see more things in the dark than he ever had before.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm back at it again with the same old ByaIchi smut. lol I promise I'm not a hermit whom only writes fan fiction, I just have a job where I basically sit around a peoples houses overnight(That sounds creepy. I'm a home care C.N.A) So I have nothing but free time. Plus, writing is my hobby anyway, so if I wasn't writing this, I'd just be writing something else.**

 **Sword spirits can manifest in this, btw. This also follows the manga in it's current chapters pretty closely, so if you're not keeping up, there might be a few spoilers.**

 **A good amount of character death in this. (Not Byakuya or Ichigo)**

 **Summery: After the quincy war, the worst scars gained are the ones you can't see. Especially for a now blind Byakuya. Feeling powerless and ashamed, he feels without a purpose. With Ichigo's help, he begins to see's more things in the dark than he ever had before.**

 **Good Vibes ~ Ashea**

 **The Darkness in our Victory**

" **Death so full; man so small."- Mumford and Sons**

 **xXx**

Darkness was all the noble took in as he slowly began to regain his consciousness, that and the taste of tepid iron sticking to the fleshy nooks of his mouth. His awareness took it's time to level out, for the man was too discombobulated to take in his situation fully at first. After he had his wits about him, Byakuya tried to remember what happened and gauge his surroundings.

The next thing he took in was the pattering of rain falling heavily against the war torn grounds of their home land. Despite the sound indicating quite an onslaught, Byakuya only felt a drizzle of rain droplets hitting his skin every so often. That let him know that he was most likely trapped under some rubble. After the explosion, he must have been sent flying back into the chaos of tangled buildings that now made up the soul king palace.

That was it. Now it was coming back to him. It had taken every ounce of their power and teamwork to take down the tenacious Gerard Valkyrie. Byakuya had been able to make the final blow on the sternritter, finally ending the battle with a blast of high powered kido with the help of Renji's diversion. Yet, what he hadn't been expecting was for the remaining reiryoku within the beast to combust at his expiration, sending everyone in the area soaring back from the pure exertion of energy. Like a star, the sternritter burned brightest before it's death, leaving behind a catastrophic trail of energy as his last farewell.

Byakuya sighed a breath of relief, as stifled and painful as that breath may have been, at the realization they'd been able to take out their opponent.

Next, he immediately thought about the state of affairs and if the quincy king had been vanquished.

' _Did he win?'_ Byakuya wondered before another sensation of peace found him. _'Of course, he did. He is Kurosaki Ichigo, after all. I knew I was right to trust in him so fervently..'_

Afterwards, less transparent thoughts filled his mind, like the safety of his comrades. So many people must have been affected by the massive shock radius of the explosion, some likely not as lucky as himself. For a moment, he tried to use his own reiryoku to reach out and feel for any pulses of energy surrounding him. Yet he soon realized that his own energy, though stable, was rather drained and could extend no amount of significance. Though it was a scanty area he could feel, he could absolutely sense nothing. It was quiet, dead quiet. For all Byakuya knew, he was the only pressure around to be felt, or perhaps there were other pressures, but they were to dwindled to be noticed.

Quickly the man recognized the worrisome thoughts for the feckless exertion of energy and brainpower they were. There was nothing he could do until he escaped from the encumbrance of debris that ensnared him. Gauging his condition, he was finally speared with an intense pain that seemed to radiate from head to toe. Despite the intensity, he tried to not sympathize with it. Concentration was near to impossible as he tried to discern which parts of him exactly were damaged. A hip, a femur, a dislocated shoulder, and a rib cage were the parts of him with the most mutilation. Also, he noticed a gash on his forehead and a sharp stinging in his eyes. Forgoing possible internal bleeding, his wounds did not seem all to fatal and his reiryoku was not depleted enough to be life threatening either.

Trying to move, it seemed his arms were pinned down, his shattered frame at the mercy of such a heavy weight. He also realized that his zanpakuto was no where within his grasp. Still, there had to be someway for him to escape this seemingly hopeless predicament.

More so, he was sure it was nighttime because not even a sliver a light jaundiced the all encompassing tenebrosity of his prison. Of course, he could have just been buried that deep, but he doubted it, and even if he was, there would surely be some opening exposing the visage of daybreak considering he could feel the rain. He contemplated how long he had been there and concluded that if he had been there for too long, he would have been found by a search and rescue team by now. His energy was still staunch enough to be detected.

Though, he could certainly not rely on the idea that there would be people searching for him. For if he didn't figure a way out soon, he was sure this mountain of wreckage would be his final resting place. You see, the rain seemed to have no seize in it's violent cleansing of the land, and Byakuya had no doubt he would drown when water levels began to rise.

For a moment, his thoughts trailed off to something that he knew would not benefit his resolve, but still he couldn't help but sit with the idea when it came barreling through his head. He thought, If he died there, drowned alone in the darkness, he'd be fine with that.

It wasn't as if he wanted to die. Still, if he did, would it really be such a terrible things? Would he fight it if it became inevitable or would he graciously accept that his time was up? More so, he was plagued by a question he'd considered time and time again: 'what's next?'

His whole purpose resolved around the protection of the soul king and as such, he spent his days cultivating his skills, becoming as strong as he could possibly hope to be. Yet, didn't the power one could obtain hold a threshold? Just as importantly, had he not reached that apex during his training in the palace and used it for exactly the purpose of which it was obtained. After this, it was likely that things would only settle gradually more and more as time past and the scars that tarnished the land and it's shinigami's began to heal. With no more big bad to fight, with no more power to be gained, what was really next for him? His sole purpose had been fulfilled, and he had little idea of how he would go on living in such a meaningless existence. Now the empty pain he'd wallowed in for years would consume him with little else to drive him or obtain his attention. Did he not deserve the serenity that came about when one lied down their sword? Did he not deserve the finality of death and the memories that accompanied it? Had he not fulfilled his purpose?

Of course, he could think of a number of reasons why he should go on living, but all of them seemed rather dispensable in the long term. There were noble responsibilities to attend too, though it was not as if the title couldn't be passed on or really took all too much effort. The title sort've ran itself unless there were some major problem. His division was also a point of issue, but as much as it pained him to admit, Renji would make a fine captain in the case of Byakuya's death. He'd taught his unit to be vigilant and to move as one. A division that could not suffice without their captain was never strong to begin with.

One of the reasons for his continuance that bared the least sustainability was also one of the hardest to stomach. It was the people he cared for and a want to shield them from any danger that would come their way. Yet, he knew that to be an arrogant desire. For he'd already came to terms that Rukia was more than cable to feigned for herself, Renji and his other comrades also. No one needed his protection. In fact, no one needed him at all. His existence was not paramount to the seireitei's reconstruction or survival, and if he died that would be okay. Though he wasn't too sure if he found that to be freeing or just an empty feeling he had to accept.

Even if he found logic in his justifications, he realized how selfish such resignation would be. It would take years to fully erase just the physical damage of the seireitei and the more hands on deck, the better. With the death toll already higher than anyone would like to consider, who knew exactly how many vacant captain seats would be left when the smoke finally cleared. He wouldn't add to that number if he didn't have to. At least alive he could help, while as dead he would only burden others. He'd be one less set of hands, one more condolence to be given to the few people who would care to miss him, one more body to add to the collateral. Rukia would mourn deeply. Perhaps he could say the same about Jushiro, Shunsui, Renji and even Yoruichi. The idea of being another thing lost, only adding to their mental burden, was unacceptable to Byakuya.

He even thought about Kurosaki, and though he doubted his death would affect the young man directly, he cared deeply for Rukia, and seeing her in such a mourning would sit heavy in his heart. Even if the young man didn't show it in conventional ways, his heart was an empathetic one. So as a ripple effect, he'd be just another burden to the man also. Byakuya was more observant of his comrade's behavior than most would know. Though he didn't speak often, it wasn't as if static ran through his head. Byakuya was thoughtfully solitude. In that regard, he felt that he could say fairly that Ichigo had partaken in his fair share of thoughtful solitude. From what Rukia had told him and from watching the young man grow, it was apparent that he had his walls up and tried his hardest to put on a brave face. After the war, he'll be branded as a hero, possibly never to return home. People will throw flowers at his feet, but few people will truly understand the loneliness one feels at the top. Not even eighteen years of age and the young man would be arguably the most powerful person in their universes, more than likely only having one path set before him.

' _How lonely..'_

It was that last thought that allowed Byakuya to clear all others, doing the only thing he could do. He knew Ichigo would be fine, for the man knew how to do nothing else but keep walking forward, but if he had to carry the burden and all the pain that came with it, Byakuya wouldn't just allow himself the selfish relief of death. Ichigo had given up everything, and he needed to live by that example. Closing his eyes, internally he called out, _'Senbonzakura.'_

A few seconds passed before the sword spirit answered his call, though his voice sounded much further away than Byakuya was use to. _'Yes Master?'_

' _Senbonzakura, can you manifest right now?'_

There was an apprehensive silence that put Byakuya on edge. _'I do believe so, Master, but I must warn you. Once I manifest, there will be very little time for us to make any moves. I'm much too weak right now to free you from this, and I would never make it on time to find help.'_ There was a short deliberate pause, _'I could allow our bodies to replenish our reiryoku before I make any moves. That way, I would be more likely to make it to help.'_

' _Let me think for a moment,'_ Byakuya commanded, staying leveled headed through a situation that seemed to be growing more dire by the instant. It was hard to feel anything past the anguish that seared him, yet he had to do it. It took him a moment, but he realized the ground beneath him was rather soggy. Suffering through the pain, he was able to shimmy his hand until he touched whatever structure was supporting him. He could feel the water rising around him. In fact, when he dipped his fingers down, the water level submerged most of his hand. That meant he had little time to work with if he was going to get out alive. He would have to take a big risk.

' _Senbonzakura, I want you to manifest and blast the biggest arsenal of blossoms you're capable of producing into the air. If they know I'm missing, they'll recognize it as a sign for help.'_ There were special kido's made for this type of thing, but Senbonzakura couldn't use kido, so they had to work with what they had.

' _Yes, master. Right away.'_ The fear the spirit felt was palpable, yet he did not hesitate to manifest.

Upon manifestation, the spirit immediately felt weak in the knees. Still, he pushed passed that and reached his hand towards the sky, for the first time taking in exactly where they were. With all of his might, a barrage of petals bursted through the howling storm. The spirit, if on the resolve to live alone, blasted two more shots before collapsing beside the mound of rubble he knew his master to be under. He could feel his energy, albeit weak.

Looking around, he saw the tip of his sword sticking from the wreckage and pulled himself over to retrieve it. As he grasped for the sword, grunting in exertion, he baffled, "Master, we're no longer in the Soul King's Palace." With sword finally in hand, he stuck the tip in the highest point of the pile so it was visible to whomever, if anyone, came to save them.

"Then where are we if not there?" Byakuya asked, his voice cloyed by the sound of rain beating as loudly as a drum against the earth

"We're in the Seireitei," the spirit groaned, "right in the Thirteenth division courtyard."

The information sent a chill of unexplainable fear through his every synapse. "So that's means I.."

The man could feel his swords distress as if it was his own. In a way, it was. The spirit gulped, looking up towards the open sky through floaty eyes. The rain poured over his masked face that took in a fall that should've been the death of them. "That's so high.." he stated the obvious.

"Senbonzakura, do not worry so much. I know what you're thinking. Trust that if I was that close to death either you would sense it or my body would be entering shock, and I would not be in such terrible pain."

Letting out a sigh at the comfort his master offered, the spirit said, "I do hope you stay in pain then, Master."

If the conditions were different, let's say, Byakuya didn't have a broken rib, he might have actually chuckled at his swords odd yet well intended manner of offering help. He supposed they shared that trait at times.

"Now we just wait. You may return to your inner world," the noble said, knowing his sword was straining to stay manifested as long as possible. It was of no use and would only aid in draining him further.

Before returning, the spirit said, "Oh, and one more thing, Master. I heard you when you thought about how it must be dark out." As he faded away, his voice rang, "it's raining, but it's blinding daylight out."

 **xXx**

The fourth division was filled to the brim with patients, the not to serious and the fatal. Gurneys lined the hallways and the piercing moans of pain echoed through the walls. A stench of festering skin and blood was inescapable, and everywhere you turned red faced souls were crouched in corners, trying to keep it together at the news someone they cared for deeply was gone forever. Sadly, the reality of what shinigamis were meant falling apart was not an option. Despite their grief, their duties do not allow time for mourning. Yamamoto once said, "Dying to exterminate great evil. Know that this is the spirit of the Gotei 13." While this dogma held true, while Ichigo understood this, it didn't make any of this easier for anyone.

Patients outnumbered healers three to one, so anyone not injured and with even a semblance of healing ability was asked to help in any way they could. Even if that meant healing basic broken legs or shallow head gashes. Over all, the air was filled with a general desperation. If you didn't know any better, you'd think the shinigami's lost the war.

Following behind a high strung Isane Kotetsu, the temporary captain of her division as of now, through the hallways of the fourth with Rukia, Ichigo thought that this was what war looked like. It was a throbbing, living entity that caused everything it came into contact with deep suffering well beyond the battle. It was not just one singular occurrence, but an occurrence so profound that it reached across the years with it's malicious consequences.

Both himself and Rukia followed through the pandemonium in weary silence, both trying to keep with the quick steps of the healer. Because of the gentle, yet confident way about her, Isane was doing her job in a way that her captain would have been proud to see. She was running off of pure instinct and adrenaline, not slowing down once, if only out of fear that she would allow herself to process the shock of her own loses and just snap under the pressure of it all. So no one could blame the woman about her high strung mannerisms, for she was doing all she could, but she was always two steps behind.

As they followed, they walked straight at two intersecting hallways. That's when Rukia halted her movements out of nowhere and look down the perpendicular hall with a hint of awe and confusion.

"Nii-sama?" she asked to no one particular, readying to run over to her brother whom was being healed by Orihime. "What is he doing it the ha-?"

Her reseeding was stopped by Isane grasping her forearm. "Fukutaichō Kuchiki-san, all critical patience are in the rooms while less serious cases are in the hallway." Managing a soft smile, she comforted, "Trust that you should be glad you're seeing him there."

Rukia gave the man a quick disconcerting flash before turning her attention back to the healer. "I still thought he was missing. I need to go check on him."

Sighing patiently, the woman spoke more seriously. "You did ask about the state of Fukutaichō Abarai-san, correct? Taicho Kuchiki-san will be fine, while this is," her voice hushed to empathize, "is an emergency. One I won't be able to attend to later."

Speaking up for the first time in a while, Ichigo said apprehensively, "You sound like you're about to tell us someone is dead."

Ever since the moment the quincy king perished at the hands of Ichigo, he'd been filled with such a wide range of emotions washing over him at random. All he could do was ride them, catching the next like a wave. First he felt relieved, triumphant. Yet, the events of the day also brought about confusion, anger, a sadness he tried to veil, and the intervals between each was filled with a numbing remoteness, as if he was running on autopilot. How could he not see all of this and be affected? He didn't feel like any type of protector when over half of the Gotei was dead.

Yet, when the healer gave a sobering glare and merely said, "Come with me," Ichigo became overwhelmed with panicky fear that showed in his gapped honey orbs. Because, with just that look, he knew. Someone _was_ dead, and that someone could very likely be Renji. Immediately, he wanted to deny it, but he could barely exhale a sharp breath he'd been holding, let alone form a rebuttal. So he just walked behind, taking note that Rukia hadn't seemed to come to the same conclusion yet. As they walked, he wondered how many other people they'd be having this same conservation about.

' _Damn it, Renji, you bastard. You better not have gone and left us, or I'll kick your ass'_

 **xXx**

Eye's closed and head leaned back, Byakuya couldn't get use to opening his eye's to pitch darkness. So instead, he kept his eye's shut, reminding himself that this would be a problem easily fixed by Inoue's rejection ability once she found her way over to him.

The darkness had it's upsides though. The screams of pain and sadness were enough to dishearten anyone and could paint a mental image vivid in its own right. Seeing such pain with his own eyes was not something he wished. For the sounds alone were the things of nightmares, haunting you with their dark earnestness.

"Hello Kuchiki-san," chirped a voice that Byakuya automatically identified as Inoue Orihime. "I'm very sorry it took me so long to make my way to you," the girl spoke curtly, and Byakuya couldn't help but to think it wouldn't hurt Kurosaki to take a page out of her book.

"There is nothing to apologize for," Byakuya said meekly, his throat dry and cracked. "It's imperative to take care of the critical first, and my wounds could wait."

Byakuya could practically hear the smile on her face as she said, "Well I'm glad you seem to be in better spirits than when you first came in."

"I believe you can accredit that to the pain blockers," Byakuya spoke dryly, followed by the sounds of a breathy chuckle. The healer already had her hands over his rib cage, sending the sensation of her alleviating energy into his injuries.

"More than that, everyone is glad to see you're not lost anymore. We need you around here in these crazy times," she offered, making Byakuya give an almost non existent curl of the lips. "Rukia-san was really worried about you! Of course, who wouldn't be worried about their big brother?"

"Rukia? Is she alright?" The man asked, seeing as this was the first time he'd spoken to anyone for more than a passing moment.

"Oh yes! I saw her around here with Kurosaki-kun earlier." Humming, she said, "I'm not sure where she went off to though. If you'd like, I can look around for her. I'm sure she'd want to see you."

Byakuya gave a considering noise. "That's of little significance right now. Knowing her, I'm sure she has been lending aid wherever she is able. That is much too important to tear her away from."

In only an impressive few minutes, the healer looked up and said, "Alright Kuchiki-san, I've healed all of your injuries.

"Inoue-san," Byakuya lifted his head and opened his eyes for the first time, "there is one more thing. I can not see."

Unable to see, he wasn't at all able to read the silence that followed his declaration. "Sorry Kuchiki-san," the girl yelped out of nowhere. "It's just, your eye's caught me off guard! They're so..different.." Orihime said, Byakuya noticing the abashed inclination in her voice. "But that doesn't matter, we're about to fix you right up!"

Byakuya didn't even change his facial expression at the woman's off behavior. Most of the red heads Byakuya knew exhibited bizarre traits, so he was starting to think there was some correlation. Still, why would his eyes look differently? How exactly did he lose his vision anyway?

The girl's hesitation practically exuded from her as she lifted her hands, but drew back in trepidation. Cocking an eyebrow, Byakuya declared, "You've never done this."

"Well-I. No. I've never healed blindness," she demurred, her blush could be heard by the way her breathing quickened and words hitched. "I've healed whole arms though," the girl bolstered more confidently. "I can do this, Kuchiki-san. Don't you worry."

Flatly, Byakuya said, "I would not trust something of such importance to someone who I didn't feel was skilled enough. I'm confident in your powers."

A whole new resolve filled the healer, intensifying her powers, and Byakuya was sure he had nothing to worry about.

The girls soft hum could barely be heard over the crowded corridors as she started to heal the man. All of sudden, shooting through all other reiatsu was a singular pressure. Amidst the erratic and tortured reiatsu that filled the ambience, it was almost impossible to pick one from another. Yet, this one was screaming above all others, so filled with abject misery and disoriented anger. It was so lost, so split asunder, so Kurosaki Ichigo. The imposing nature of it's sadness had Byakuya visibly cringing, a sharp pain swelling in his chest as if he could feel all the pain of the man like it was his own. One moment Ichigo was saving the world, and the next the world was killing him. Something about that caused Byakuya a discomfort he couldn't understand.

He supposed, he just didn't enjoy seeing the man hurting and he especially didn't like to _feel_ the man hurting. Byakuya couldn't help but to think Ichigo deserved better than that.

Orihime had noticed the pressure, as she hesitated with her hand's movements for a moment before beginning again, acting as if nothing happened.

After about ten minutes of working solely on his eyes, longer than she'd spent on all of his injuries, she pulled her hands back tentatively and let out a discouraging huff. "Kuchiki-san, you still can't see, can you?"

Not being a man to lose his head easily or get anxious over things that are not set in stone, he tried to think logically. Just because she couldn't fix it right now didn't mean there were no options for regaining his sight. He would not jump to the worst conclusion.

"No."

"Don't worry, Kuchiki-san! I should've mentioned this earlier, but there are different ways to lose one's sight. Maybe you hit your head and damaged your optical lobe. If that's the case, then you could need surgery or maybe it'll go away after the swelling goes down." In a somewhat awkward and troubled tone, the healer said, "I'm going to go get Isane-san to take a look."

As Byakuya listened to the girl's footsteps vanish in the roar of the fourth unit, he was sure there was something she was not telling him.

 **xXx**

"Bull shit! That's a lie. There's no way Renji went out that easy!"

Within the fourth division, there was a small alcove at the end of a hallway set up with any supplies that fourth division members could possibly need. It made for a quicker and more efficient turnover of patients. As it was, it was the only area within the division that had much privacy. Yet, as Ichigo's pressure became so volatile and feral, it was obvious that privacy was of little concern to him. That latent power was visibly swirling around them, making the air feel like a continuous electric hum vice gripping your trachea.

"Kurosaki Ichigo!" Isana yelled, trying to meet him at his level in hopes to show the man just how unreasonable he sounded. To the woman's credit, standing amidst such a pressure was making her tremble involuntarily, but she hid it well. "There are sick people here, and you'll only do them harm with such a raging pressure. Don't think I won't sedate you!" she snapped.

Trembling dangerously like grinding tectonic plates on the verge of slipping, Ichigo's composure was cracking at the surface. "I want to see the body! I don't fucking believe it. I won't!"

"Trust me," the woman lowered her voice, now taking the opposite approach by using a pacifying tone. "You do not want to.. It was.. very gruesome."

Snarling and huffing, ready to blow the whole goddamn world up he'd just worked so hard to protect, Ichigo yelled, "No way! What about Orihime? I know she can practically bring back the dead if she really has the will to do it! So are you telling me she didn't want to bring Renji back? Bull shit. Absolute bull shit. You got it wrong!"

"No, Kurosaki-san, you have it wrong," the woman fired back, her heat assuaging his triade for just a moment. "Do you think you're the only one upset? Do you think you're the only one losing people they care about today?" Gesturing her arm's out as if to address the entire area. "Look around you! I understand you're upset, and it's hard to grasp, but your anger helps nothing! If you are sad, be sad! Then stand up and walk forward just like the rest of us are. If you would step outside of your own untamable emotions for a moment, you'd see you're not the only one who is hurting here."

For the first time, Ichigo looked to Rukia. Her tiny figure was shaking madly and her eyes were shut, a fluid yet soft stream of tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. She had her fingers interlaced and fisted in front of her chest. For all the empathy Ichigo could have and for how often he hid his emotions to not burden others, sometimes he could get lost in them.

Allowing himself to break down and crumble into sadness wasn't an option for him when he couldn't dare put the weight of his burdensome soul on the shoulders of the people he wanted to protect. So often he only knew how to express it with bouts of irrational anger, just to let it all out in someway. It occurred to him that, despite the war, he was still just a stumbling kid learning to crawl. He hadn't really matured at all, had he? He had to be better. He had to control these emotions that seemed to claw at his chest cavity, begging for a release. For his comrades, he had to push them down.

"Rukia.." he rasped, resting a hand on her shoulder

Flinching at the contact, the girl's eyes gaped wildly at her friend before they softened, the glassy moons darkening with anguish that spilled over in the form of salty trails burning at her lips. All of that sadness, she let it slip, wrapping her arms around Ichigo desperately as if he would just vanish from her life also. "Just like that. He's gone forever, just like that," the girl sobbed into his embrace, the lukewarm tears dampening his torn shihakusho. The girl's pain, he could feel it resonating in his own soul, churning inside of him and mixing him all up.

Rubbing a hand down her back, Ichigo whispered, "Yeah, I know." It may have seemed weak, but as a man who experienced death on such a personal level, he knew the most comforting thing you could do for a person was simply acknowledge their pain. "But we'll get through this."

Sniffling and wiping away tears, Rukia tried to regain her composure and feel even just slightly normal. "Of course we will. We're soul reapers, it's what we do," she said, managing a sad little smile.

"It's what all living things do, human or soul," Isana smiled at the girl. "It's the hope of a better tomorrow and the desire to thrive that all living beings derive resilience from."

"Isana-san." The healer turned to see the forlorn face of Orihime addressing her. "It's Kuchiki-san."

An audible gasp could be heard from Rukia as her eye's widened with concern.

' _Damnit, something couldn't have happened to him too. Rukia couldn't take it..I couldn't take it.'_

The girl's next words only added fuel to the flame of worry flickering in all three of their eyes. "It's just like with Renji-san."

Netting her brow, Isana said, "What isn't healing? Is it something serious?"

Biting her lip, Orihime said, "Yes and no.. Kuchiki-san is, well, he's blind."

Isana let out a sigh that was somewhere in between relived and distressed. "And his eyes..well..they're..You have to see for yourself."

Isana took no time in following the girl and, of course, Rukia and Ichigo followed in suit. "Blind?" Rukia said, looking up to Ichigo, their eye's meeting in confusion.

"At least blind isn't life threatening," Ichigo said, trying to offer comfort in some way. Though he knew that was of little consolation. "Whatever's going on, I'm sure it's not as bad as it might seem. Let's wait to find out everything before we get too worried." The girl's gaze stuck for a moment as if testing the validity of his statement, but she quickly nodded and their walk became more brisk. Though even Ichigo wasn't able to take heed to his own words, so he didn't expect his companion to be able to do the same. Byakuya? Blind? What would that mean for him? What if they couldn't fix it?

As they approached the hallway of which Byakuya was located, Isana turned to the group and warned, "No mention of his fukutaichō, at least not right now." Rukia and Ichigo exchanged looks and nodded, finding it best not to argue.

Ichigo took in Byakuya's tenuous state as they drew closer. He was clad in a plain black kosode and free from any regal wear or signs of his status. His head and back were leaned against the upright gurney while his eyes sat closed and his hands sat elegantly folded over his lap. Damp raven strands hung loosely around his relaxed features, and though he'd never really seen him like this, Ichigo thought that only Byakuya could be recuperating from serious injuries and still have such an air of refinement.

Then, as they approached his bedside and the man opened his eyes, Ichigo faltered at the sight. His company was no better. Byakuya still had the same smoldering coal orbs, yet there were particles of bright verdigris swirling in his eyes. That same dark metallic stood, shining a wealth of thoughtfulness that was fitting to the noble. Yet in the way specks of light shined through the darkness of rain clouds, a wonderful green breached the smoky mirrors. A color that reminded the soul reaper of nascent life budding from the ground, so fresh in it's lively curiosity.

Beside him, he heard Orihime mutter, "They've changed again.." Yet he was all too taken by the sight to give much attention to her words. Despite his glacier like facial movements, Byakuya's eyes had alway held such a vibrant source of his emotions, albeit a vibrant dysphoria most often.. But this, this was like mirrors reflecting the man's truest nature back into the world.

Isana, being the professional she was, didn't let the silence sit long. "Taicho Kuchiki-san, how are you feeling?"

"All thing's considered," Byakuya huffed, "I'm doing well."

"Your sister is here with me," Isana spoke, gesturing for the girl to sept beside her.

Rukia did so, resting her hand over her brother. "Nii-sama, I'm so glad you're okay." Just like that, his eye changed again. This time the specks were yellow, looking like fireflies fluttering around the shadowy cover of a summer night.

"Of course, I'm fine. You must not worry about me," Byakuya reassured, lightly squeezing her tiny hand.

"But Nii-sama..Your eyes.."

"Are nothing worth your concern. Now, you have much more important matters to attend to, yes?" Sounding more authoritative, he said, "Time wasted here is time not spent aiding the Gotei."

What seemed harsh and distant was Byakuya's way of comforting the girl and showing that he didn't want her hurting over him. With Byakuya, you had to listen past the rigidness of his tonality and really delve into the meaning behind the seemingly cold words. Noticing this, Ichigo smiled slightly at the scene. _'What a stubborn guy, not even wanting his own sister to be at his bedside during something like this. Always havin' to suffer through it alone.'_

For a moment, the girl bite her lip and went to step back, only to find a whole new level of resolve. "I'm sorry, Nii-sama, but I refuse. I will stay with you until we at least figure out what's wrong and none of your reprimanding will deter me."

' _I guess every ones matured from the war a little. Rukia never stands up to this guy.'_ Ichigo thought. 

Byakuya seemed to sit with this for a bit, obviously taken by the girl's show of audacity. The yellow in his eyes twinkled a little brighter, and if Ichigo didn't know any better, he'd say the nobleman was pleased. "If you insist on being stubborn, very well."

"I wonder where she gets that from?" Ichigo butted in, earning him a sharp glare that, once again, had changed it's appearance. Now those grays were highlighted with specks of orange, but not just any orange, it was a blood orange, making his eyes look like billows of smoke rising from the deadly torrid of pyre. Such intensity shot embers into Ichigo, making him tingle in a not too comfortable way.

"I suppose you are referencing yourself, Kurosaki Ichigo, seeing as you're the most obstinate person I know."

' _I think that was a compliment..or at least as close as you'll get from Byakuya.'_

As Isana pulled some special device from her pocket, Ichigo grabbed at his neck and muttered, "Yeah, well takes one to know one," before a little bit of yellow dimmed his orange, making the specks look more like the color of Ichigo's hair.

"Alright, Taicho Kuchiki-san, I'm going to do a quick examination. It should take me all of a minute to figure out the issue here." First she took out a penlight and waved it in front of the man's eyes, which did not follow. Then she held a device that resembled an old school thermometer only an inch away from one of his eyes and watched as it turned red.

By the woman's frown it was easy to tell that red wasn't a good sign. "Inoue-san, are there any available rooms?"

"Yes, one just opened up recently."

"I'd like to admit Taicho Kuchiki-san for some labs. Right away, please." As she said her words, the eye's changed once more. Now, instead of just specks, the whole iris dulled to an almost transparent grey, like the ashen skin of a body drained of all it's life. Still, his face was unmoved. Rukia and Ichigo gave each other troubled looks, not enjoying such a hopeless gleam In the man's eyes.

"I need to go over a few things, but I will explain your situation in detail..in a more appropriate setting."

Nodding, Byakuya said, "Very well." With that, Orihime maneuvered the gurney and began to push the man towards the vacant room.

Once out of earshot, Isane turned to Ichigo and Rukia holding a tentative smile in the way one would hold a newborn. "I'm sure you two have questions. I'll address those, but first I must be certain of the answers myself.

Eye's brimming with tears, all Rukia could do was blink rapidly and nod. As the women walked in the direction of which Byakuya had been rolled towards, Ichigo wrapped an arm around the girl as they both stared off anxiously at her fading figure. "Don't worry so much, Rukia. If anyone can come through it, it's Byakuya." He looked down and forced a smile at the girl who's head was leaning against his shoulder, lids only slightly open, obviously drained from the emotional tumult. "Hey," he nudged the girl, "I already know you're thinking some negative stuff. This is the Soul Society, they've done much more crazy things than giving a guy his eyesight back." Pulling at the girl's shoulder, he said, "You should eat something. Why do-"

"I'm going to stay here," the girl interrupted, pulling away from her friends leading touch. "At least till we find out what's going on."

Ichigo smirked, crossing his arms at the girl. "You think I'm crazy enough to try and pull you away from here. You're too stubborn for that, and I don't have the energy to fight with you, midget. Wait here, and I'll bring you back something to eat. Your brother would kill me if I didn't make you take care of yourself."

Wiping her misty purple eyes with the back of her palms, the girl managed a snort. "No one can _make_ me do anything, especially you." She smiled at the young man and said, "Thanks Ichigo. I'll be waiting outside of Nii-sama's room."

Staying behind for a moment to watch the girl retreat, Ichigo thought, _'For Renji and Byakuya both, I have to make sure she takes care of herself.'_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and follows! Here's the second installment. I guess you could use the word angsty to describe this story, however that word always makes me think of my EMO stage where I was knee deep in hair dye and crying to Hawthorn Heights albums. More so, I try to explore emotional idiosyncrasies in my writing. Often, I find that Bleach can be emotionally shallow. (For instance, Ichigo stabbed his friend in the gut and was cool with it like 5 chapters later.) Um, no. War, trauma, seeing your friends die, especially for someone 17 years old, and even for soul reapers, will have some effects. It's just not realistic for it not to. That being said, I like to use my fan fiction to explore the emotional depths of these characters that we don't alway get to see other wise.**

 **I'll respond to comments below.**

 **Good vibes. ~Ashes.**

 **xXx**

 **In the Crepuscule, There We're Left Standing.**

 **xXx**

" **How could something so fair**

 **be so cruel?**

 **When this black sun revolved**

 **around you"**

 **-DCFC**

Rukia leaned lazily against Ichigo, her head dropped on his shoulder. The man too sat with idle movements, his head resting on the wall behind them. The two were situated on a bench outside Byakuya's room, and Rukia had somehow found it in herself to drift off to sleep. Ichigo was unsure how, for all of that manic worrisome seemed more than enough to keep her going until she found out the state of her brother. Not that he wasn't happy about it. Rukia hadn't shut her eyes since before the war started, and it now had been over for a full day and a half. Well, at least the battle was over. The war would never really be over.

He had to fight against his mind's inclination to drift towards thoughts that would only slow him. Images of his now deceased friend flooded his mind, and it seemed almost surreal. As if Renji was going to walk up to them at anytime in his goofy yet buoyant way. He didn't want to think about it. He couldn't. He couldn't allow the full gravity of this reality to sink into him and stew. Of course, he knew Renji was dead and accepted that as truth, but if he thought about what that _really_ meant for more than five seconds, he was certain he'd break. Ichigo's strength, at the moment, was like a satin ribbon, all one had to do was pull softly at the edges of the fabric to completely undo the frail structure. Allowing himself to mourn Renji would yank the ribbon free and expose how impotent he truly felt.

Renji would never be there anymore. They'd never joke around. He'd never have the chance to get annoyed at the other's constantly overly enthusiastic zeal. Who was he going to do haphazards shenanigans with? Be a dope with? He'd do anything to get in a half - hearted, childish tat with his buddy, knowing they would be completely fine five seconds later. Yet that was out of reach to him, never to be grasped again. This feeling of losing people you care for, it's like putting notches in your soul to mark its evolution, similar to the way people put etches in their door frames to track a child's height. Renji, just another tally to signify and date the moment in which Ichigo's heart would forever be changed, if even just a little bit.

He felt so uncertain, alone and confused, grasping for the right answers, having absolutely no clue what to do. He was walking in the dark, too frightened to take a step forward or backwards, just knowing he'd stumble. Yet he couldn't sit dormant. People needed him, and honestly, right now he needed people to need him. It was the only thing that made sense. Protecting people, that was the one thing he knew for certain how to do. Pass that, he had no idea what life had in store for him or what he wanted to have in store for life. The idea of moving on, moving past the war and going home to a house that seemed just a little smaller, something about it felt awfully vacant and estranged. After this, the war, being a shinigami, nothing would ever feel so potent again. Was he just suppose to go back to the living world as if none of this ever happen?

Then again, wasn't that what he was suppose to do? Wasn't he human? Sometimes he honestly forgot.

To keep from stumbling, he took one step at a time, choosing to look at each situation as it came instead of dreading over a future that he was less than sure of. Byakuya's eyesight, that was something that could be dealt with. It was right in front of him. He could no longer help Renji, and he hated himself for that, but Byakuya, maybe there was something he could do. At the very least, he could help Rukia get through it.

Something about the situation painfully reminded Ichigo about his own struggles when he lost his powers and was hell bent on their return. Not being able to protect, the one thing that mattered most to Ichigo, left him feeling imbecilic. He felt as if his one true purpose had been poached from him, and he didn't even know how he was suppose to continue functioning as if he was just a normal human. He felt weak, useless. Yet, the gotei had been there and returned his powers. Byakuya had been there despite their past, and even in a small way, because of him, he once again held his true purpose within the palm of his hand.

Even though Byakuya had his powers, without his sight, how would he continue on? Surely, like Tosen, he too could adapt to fighting without his visual prowess, but how long would it take to get to a place where he was function and fighting normally? Just learning to do daily mundane task would be a gargantuan hurdle for the noble. He'd be like an infant learning how to redo everything, confused and reaching out for basic understanding. He'd need help, something Byakuya was all too prideful to admit to. It would take so much time just to crawl, stumbling and fighting for each wobbly step of the way. His whole life would change immensely, and he wouldn't be able to protect his world with his own two hands, but instead, he'd have to rely on the strength of others to do so. Worse, he'd be one of the ones who needed protecting.

For a man like Ichigo, a man who understood that single minded focus, who understood how lost one could be to the abject defeat of being powerless, the idea stung. Yet, even if Byakuya had to creep along at a snail's pace, battling for every rickety advance he made, the nobleman was never one to give up. Especially because Byakuya was anything but hopeless or defeated. Not even blindness could halt a man of his tenacity and perseverance, of that, Ichigo was certain. If anyone could overcome such a disability, it would be Byakuya Kuchiki. He would dominate it, figure out some way to make it his own.

Just like the gotei, like Byakuya, believed in him, he would believe in Byakuya. Even so, all of his empathy was with the man at this moment, because if anyone knew what it felt like to feel forceless and shaky under the weight of what it meant to rebuild one's self from scraps, it was Ichigo.

After what felt like an eternity, Isane came from Byakuya's room, softly closing the door behind her. Ichigo shook Rukia's shoulder, and the girl shifted suddenly, wiping her eyes with the balls of her fist as consciousness found her.

"Isane," Ichigo urged, forgoing formalities, "how's Byakuya?"

Rukia jolted up, practically jumping out of her seat as her eyes told Isane to explain.

With weary eyes, she informed, "He is fine. Without his vision, but fine."

Baffled, Rukia exclaimed, "I don't understand! Why can't you fix his sight?"

Ichigo looked just as incredulous with disbelief that the soul society of all places couldn't restore his sight. "Yeah! And what did you mean when you said just like Renji? What's going on?"

The healer gave a patient smile and node of the head. "I'll explain everything clearly. You see, Taichou Kuchiki-san and Fukutaichou Abarai-san were engaged in battle with Gerard Valkyrie. It was their combined efforts that took him out. When Kuchiki-san made the final blow, the two were sent flying off the side of the palace from a condensed reiryoku explosion.." She paused, letting the information be absorbed before she continued. "The barriers that usually separate the Seireitei and the palace run on a timing system, so while we turned them off, they'll always turn back on after a certain amount of time. It's a safety precaution. Though they take a while to build up to full strength, seeing as they gather reishi from the environment to form condensed barriers. When they were blown back, the combined reishi of the explosion and the barrier's that had started to reform, albeit weak in comparison to it's full power, covered the debris that was blown back with them." The healer paused once more, cringing at the trepidation in their eyes and the words she was about to say. "For Abarai-san, he was impaled by a stray beam. The beam was covered in such a potently dense amount of reishi that we were unable to heal the damage caused by it. Our powers could not push past such a concentrated amount of energy. Likewise, a similar thing happened to Kuchiki-san. It seemed glass particles from the debris logged themselves in his eyes and are blocking any light from entering his iris, because of the density of reishi surrounding them."

Both Rukia and Ichigo sat in quiet contemplation for a moment, ruminating over the healer's words. Rukia gaped painfully and Ichigo scowled with anger he tried to suppress.

"But..he can get better, right? Rukia asked, her voice sounding as if it was grasping onto the edge of hope. "The reishi will lose density over time, and he'll see once more, right?"

Isane's chest rose and fell in despondency. "It is a possibility, but i do not want to give you false hope. It's a rather slim chance your brother will ever see again."

With fingers clenched and nails digging into the palms of his hands, Ichigo suppressed a reaction he knew would help nothing. After all the man had sacrificed for the gotei, for all of his dedication and virtue, this is what he was left with? He was left in the dark, having even the most basic of abilities striped from him, cursed to a life of fumbling around and constant exertion just to regain the mastery to live and protect as he gave his whole life, his sight, to do.

"Well can we see him?" Rukia asked impatiently.

"He is resting right now. I believe the mental strain was enough to drain him. Along with the exertion from his injuries, he needs a great deal of rest." Clasping her hands together, Isane bowed her head only slightly. "I must tell you, I took the liberty of telling him about Abarai-san while explaining the events that lead to his blindness. I knew he was going to inquire anyway, and I think apart of him already knew. He's handling it all with grace and decorum..too much, if you ask me." Dispelling any type of clinical tonality, Isane frowned deeply. "This is very tragic, and I'm sorry for all the loses you'll have to endure".

The pair were both too shaken to find any words of response. There was nothing to say. Isane was simply reaching out, one broken soul to another, bestowing the only thing she could: her empathy.

As she went to take her leave, Ichigo looked up urgently, drawing her attention back in. "One more thing," he asked, "what about the colors in his eyes? What's that about?"

"Oh, right," Isane startled, turning back to face the two. "Well I explained the color change to him, but as for the reason why, I believe I should leave it up to you two to decide if he should know."

"What do you mean?" Rukia asked.

"Well think of it like radiation poisoning that can mutate the D.N.A. The glass dust went in through his eyes and some reached his bloodstream to only become intermingled with his spirit core. The particles are reacting to subtle fluctuations in his reiatsu, causing them to glow different colors depending on the energy given off. Meaning his eye's are changing colors based on his emotional state, or at least this is my theory."

"Like a mood ring?" Ichigo gaped

"Only much more accurate. Though, there's no exact way to tell which colors represent which emotion. This is my worry with telling him: this will be a life changing experience for him, learning to live again without his sight. It will also be quite frightening, I can imagine. For a man like Taichou-Kuchiki-san, whom it is no secret is reserved and composed about his feelings, I feel as if it will only dig the knife in deeper, knowing he can see nothing while he quite literally wears his emotions in his eyes for everyone else to see."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, "I can see that being hard for him to swallow."

"Isane-san," Rukia addressed softly, "I'd like to help with some healing while I'm waiting for my Nii-sama to awake."

"But Rukia," Ichigo argued, "you haven't gotten any real rest in days. You need to take care of yourself!"

"No. I need to be there for my comrades, Ichigo!" With a misty sadness pooling in her eyes, she assumed, "It's what my brother would want, especially since he can't do it himself."

Ichigo scoffed. "Somehow I don't think your brother would want you passing out from overexertion. Theres helping and then there's just being stupid."

"Ichigo," she sighed, standing up, "Renji's gone, Nii-sama may never fight again, I need something to do right now, something that doesn't make me feel so damn useless."

He gaped slightly at that, his voice almost cracking with disbelief. "Rukia...Byakuya will be fine, you have to believe that. He's always fin-"

"He is not fine!" Rukia snapped, gesturing an arm out at her surroundings. "Nothing is fine. I don't need you to coddle me or sugar coat things. Things are bad, really bad." Slowly, she let out a shuddered breath, closing her eyes and composing herself. "I can accept that and move forward, but pretending like everything isn't falling down around us isn't going to stop the walls from caving in. I don't have to lie to myself to keep from breaking down, because I'm much too strong for that."

Standing in urgency, Ichigo snapped back, "I'm not lying to myself! I know things won't be easy, but you can't honestly tell me that you think Byakuya of all people will just give up. He doesn't have it in him."

There was a stillness in Rukia's movements as she looked upon him with almost pitying eyes, eyes that made his skin crawl. "He's blind, Ichigo.." she whispered, her voice thick and weighed down by a wetness. "I know you always hope for the best, and that's admirable, but no amount of positivity can just magically make that better." After a brief moment of mutely sharing gazes, each feeling almost dejected and strained, Rukia turned to Isane. "Let's go, and Ichigo," she turned back to the hazed out man, "I know the Sōtaichō is expecting you. You should probably go see him soon, but if you end up leaving Soul Society," she smiled, "come say goodbye first, loser."

With a sad smile, he nodded. "Right."

 **xXx**

As consciousness began to find him, Byakuya dreaded to open his eyes. Yet, just to confirm that it hadn't all been some macabre dream, he did such. To his dismay, yet expectation, he found himself submerged in darkness. He was trapped, a prisoner to the dark with nowhere to escape too.

He was swimming it the void, but all he wanted to do was drown in it.

Though he supposed he was in some state of shock, that the realizations of the battle's casualties hadn't truly sank in. However, though he felt childish and self loathing for the fact, he was frightened. Never one to back away from the veil of night, now that it embraced him like an unremovable cloak, his hands trembled and his heart fluttered slightly with the presence of fear.

There was no enemy to beat. The inescapable truth of his mutilation was nothings his petals could cut through. He was now purposeless, no longer able to use his powers with any mark of accuracy or effectiveness. He wouldn't even be able to do simple task without the aid of another person, constantly needing to be supervised and assisted like an imbecilic toddler. Even his noble duties would acquire overseeing and facilitation.

Dead would have been preferential to such a loss of pride. What kind of captain or house head would he be while in this state? And to be coddled, having everyone slow down just so he could keep up, everyone idling themselves to abed a handicapped ineffectual man as himself, all because they didn't have the heart to throw him aside like the worthless relic he now was, that would kill any part of himself that still thrived within.

They'd pity him, point and gawk as they saw him in the streets. There would be whispers filling the milieu of the gotei about how sorry they felt for the once viral captain. Just for show, they'd allow him to keep his position, but all real responsibility would fall to someone else, someone competent. Yet, all because they couldn't look at themselves in the mirror otherwise, they'd keep him around. They'd keep him around in the way people kept around old birthday cards that they felt too guilty to dispose of, despite how they only succeeded in taking up precious space. People would boast about their compassion and pat themselves on the back, feeling prideful in the way they put themselves out while truly only being inconvenienced by his continued presence.

That wasn't compassion, that was selfishness. The only compassion lied in letting the man slink away into solitude, leaving him be with his last shred of self respect and unbothered by their oh so thoughtful concern. Compassion would be brutal honesty with themselves and him, the acknowledgment that his existence was abortive and only brought others struggles.

Even though he knew no one would say such, Byakuya understood the truth. He'd bring nothing but shame to his squad and his house. The lamentable damaged prince, just an artifact of a once tenacious leader for people to look upon with rue, if they even had the gut to look at all. For certain, once the novelty ran out and his personal pain was no longer the flavor of the week, the masquerading care would run dry. He'd eventually be forgotten, but not soon enough, in Byakuya's opinion.

He should've stayed under that rubble and allowed the water to fill his lungs, forever preserving him as the man he was, not the burden he's became.

It should have been him, not Renji or the other's that more than likely expired as a result of the blast, the blast he caused. Though these brave soldiers died with honor, doing exactly what they gave their whole lives to do, if someone had to survive, what made him so worthy? Was this suppose to be some gift or just the cruelty of the chaotic and random world they lived in?

Why did he survive and they did not, only to be a feckless fragment of the war? There was no reason, no sense to be found in this asinine hell he'd have to endure. Living on with the knowledge everyone had died as a result of his attack, this would be the memory, his last act of any use, that accompanied him in the dark.

If there was a life that should've been spared, it should've been that of Renji's. A man who was jovial and full of fire, who had so much potential, whose bright light and enduring heart drew everyone to him. A man with many friends and people to care rather he lived or died, he deserved the life that Byakuya had been granted. He would've made so much more of it than Byakuya, a reclusively, cold man who outlived his purpose, ever would have.

' _Please master, do not think like this,'_ Senbonzakura pleaded, a thick relentless sorrow riddling the spirits voice.

"Leave me, Senbonzakura," Byakuya demanded. "I do not deserve your compassion."

' _How can you say that!? Master, you lost your vision giving everything to the war.'_

"A war I should have died in," he snapped, though his voice still staying within the range of his usual stoicism. "It is not because I lose my vision that I do not deserve your compassion, but because I am now useless to you and all of those around me. I can no longer wield you in the manner of which you deserve, Senbonzakura."

' _I do not believe it will be this way forever, Master, and if it is,'_ he gave an apprehensive pause, _so be it! Your fighting prowess is not the only place in where your pride lies.'_

With all the patience he could muster, the nobleman let out a sigh. "Leave me be...please."

The fragility behind his master's voice made the sword spirit shiver, his core freezing slightly at Byakuya's despondency.

It was decided. After things settled, Byakuya would approach the elders about assigning him a regent - someone who acted temporarily in the place of a sovereign who was deemed incapable of holding the position - while Byakuya retreated to one of their private vacation estates within the soul society to live out the rest of his days in isolation. If he must live this unbearable life, he'd do so while burdening others as minimal as possible. Of course, he'd bed a house concubine, that way the elders would have their pure blooded heir. It was the least he could do after causing his family such shame and trouble over the years, and this way, he'd escape with as much of his dignity as he could salvage.

He'd say a couple of painless short goodbyes, handle his affairs, and he'd be gone with the sakura.

Leaning his head back and resigning to more sleep, a familiar presence had him turning his unseeing eye's towards the open doorway of his hospital room. "Kurosaki Ichigo," he said, fighting the urge to turn his head away in shame. He didn't want the man to see him like this, so weak and pitiful. Yet he was a man of enduring decorum and stature, and therefore, he would hold himself as such.

Feeling slightly unnerved, Ichigo ambled into the room with no particular hast. He didn't really know what to say, but he knew that he wanted to say something. Perhaps just let the noble know he was there for him, if that meant anything at all. Maybe give the man some reassurance, some encouragement, just someone to talk to. Yet, as he stood there perched in the doorway, he realized there were no words. He realized that there was nothing he could do, and that Rukia was right, his blind optimism wouldn't heal Byakuya. He realized that the two weren't even friends and all his presence would accomplish was make Byakuya feel pitied and small.

But that wasn't why Ichigo was there. It wasn't because he felt obligated or to attempt trite words that would help nothing in the end. The two had shared a bond for a long time, albeit silent and distant. It was a bond that never needed words. When you go through the things these two had, fought against each other, grew because of each other, battled beside one another, for one another, faced death together, lost people you care for together, there were invisible tethers that bind you. One's that don't need verbal recognition, because they could feel them being tugged whenever they stood in the presence of one another. It was a mute understanding, but perhaps, it didn't have to be so voiceless anymore.

Maybe the two weren't close or friends, but the experiences that allied them made them so much more, something undefinable. Therefore, Ichigo wanted to be there, to talk to his once enemy, if only to show that he truly cared and how courageous he found Byakuya to be. It wasn't much, but at the moment, it was all he had.

Even so, as he stood there, staring helplessly at Byakuya's smoldering coals filled with almost translucent blue specks, he falter. These oculars looked like mini galaxies, spiraling cosmos that stretched into an amaranthine abyss. Sparkling and demanding attention, his eye's were as haunting as they were beautiful, for their sadness seemed to shoot into his soul at the speed of light. It was akin to the wonderment one felt, yet sorrowful resignation of how small they truly were when they looked upon the heavens.

' _Is this sadness..They make me feel..almost sad.'_

Knowing he needed to say something, Ichigo said the first thing that came to mind. "That's uh..a cool trick you have there. How'd you know it was me?"

Byakuya wanted to sigh out loud, but yielded. This had been happening throughout the day, people faltering at the sight of him. He supposed it had something to do with the change of his eyes, the colors that now resided in them. Orihime mention in one of her rounds that they were "beautiful", and though he knew she was trying to give him comfort, that fact wasn't something that gave him any solace. He was not a spectacle, some circus act to be gawked at, and every time someone was hard pressed to find words in front of him, it only made him that much more aware of how different he now was.

"Do you know what else is a _cool trick_ ," he smoothly mocked, "sensing reiatsu."

Moving across the room, Ichigo chuckled somewhat awkwardly at that. "I can see you're doing better already. If you weren't ridiculing me, that I'd be afraid of."

Hearing the labor of movements, the flopping of waraji, and the scuffing noise of a chair being situated, Byakuya could tell Ichigo was now sitting at his bedside. "Perish the thought," Byakuya rebutted dryly. "Is there a reason for your presence here, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"I'm suppose to be meeting with Kyoraku-san, but he's busy right now, and I..well, I just wanted to see how you were doing." Something in the man's voice betrayed his lack of confidence, as if he knew that wasn't the right thing to say. It was easy to tell, even without Byakuya's sight.

Truthfully, of all the people who could be here lavishing him with their pity, it stung the most coming from this man. Once already, he thought Ichigo had seen him at his worst, broken and breaths away from death, imploring the man to protect all the things he was too weak to. No. This was much worse. The two were not close, so it was apparent Ichigo was only here out of obligation.

Yet, before anything scathing could come from him, Ichigo's next words caught him off guard. "I know you're probably thinking I'm here because I'd feel guilty otherwise, and I'll admit, It wouldn't be the first time I've done something solely because it was what seemed right at the time." He hesitated briefly before he spoke again. This time, Byakuya could hear the resolve resonating from him. "But that's not the case with this. I care about you, that's why I'm here."

Lively emerald specks had returned once again as Byakuya looked at Ichigo for a silent moment. It truly did feel like such an invasion of privacy, because despite the noble's face holding the same cold and unmovable features as they always had, it was as if the emotions behind the hues just emanated. He couldn't be sure, but something told him that green meant curiosity.

Though, much like the man Ichigo was habituated to, Byakuya continued without hesitation. "I see. And what of this conversation with the Sōtaichō? Will you be leaving to the world of the living after this?"

Unable to contain it, Ichigo felt a sting of insult at the man's words. "What? You can't actually still be thinking I don't belong here after all of this? Damn, what's a guy gotta d..o.." His sentence trailed off as he saw that blue return with a vengeance, highlighting the flint features with a melancholy that sat behind them.

"You misunderstand me," Byakuya clarified. "Surely you have earned a home within all three worlds, and you belong anywhere you deem fit." In the silence of Ichigo's bewilderment, Byakuya contemplated what was sitting eagerly on the tip of his tongue. It was so unlike him to be barefaced and without pretenses, yet soon he'd be gone, and it all seemed so pointless now. This man was the savior of their worlds, inflicted with his own great struggles and pains to surmount. Seeing as Byakuya had full intentions in retreating to a family estate and would more than likely never speak to Ichigo again, the least he could offer was his earnest advice. For Byakuya had little purpose these days, and if he could make Ichigo's life a bit easier, perhaps he'd feel a scintilla of use. "More so, it is what I believe you deserve that is in question. After all of the sacrifices you've made, do you not deserve a bit of normalcy?"

Ichigo seemed to sit on this for a while. He was puzzled by the concern, yet tried not to concentrate on that aspect. "Normalcy, huh?" he said, the words sounding gritty and of a man much older. "I don't see how anything could ever be normal again."

Ichigo was right, for that Byakuya knew. Neither for himself or the rest of the gotei would things simply ever go back to the way they once were. Still they had to try.

"Besides," Ichigo continued, "I'm needed here. There are more repairs than there are people, and my comrades, Rukia, I want to help protect them."

"Rukia does not need your protection," Byakuya sniffed, "she needs you to be there for her. Trust there is a difference." Ichigo looked on with netted brows, not sure what Byakuya was saying, and as if he gauged the silence accordingly, Byakuya explained, "Protecting others is to take on their burdens as your own, to be there for others is to share in those burdens."

"Yeah." Ichigo gave a pitiful chuckle. "I guess you're right. I've just never been too good at the latter."

"You are learning," Byakuya offered. "One does not grow in an instant, but little by little."

"It's harder for Rukia," Ichigo admitted. "She's always keeping everything inside. Heh," he grunted, running a hand through his grimy tresses, thinking he hadn't even slowed down enough to take a proper bath. "She's always the first to give me a swift smack to the head if she catches me sympathizing with my sadness."

Blue grew wilder and vast in Byakuya's eyes. "I can not say this surprises me. Rukia's life in Inuzuri thought her to harden herself, and this lesson was only solidified by being taken into my clan. She does not open her heart to many, and therefore, she is guarded yet strong." A pause. "However, this is not always a good trait. Emotions become the most burdensome when you hold them only to yourself, allow them to suffocate you. Admittedly, this is a trait I share with my sister, and good or bad, it is not something I can see changing about myself easily, if at all. This is the way we were raised and perhaps the only way we know how to survive. Even so, I can see the purpose within relieving one's self of these troubled feelings, sharing them with others. It lightens your heart and allows you to move more freely, along with having a greater empathy for those around you. This is the essence of being human."

Marveling at the sentiments being so eloquently expressed, Ichigo gave Byakuya an almost wistful look. He'd never seen this part of the man, and if not for the war and his blindness, he probably never would have.

The sincerity coming from such a veiled guy prompted a surprising amount of honesty on his part. For whatever reason, Ichigo felt safe if not completely compelled to do so. "I've lived in the same place for most of my life, but there was one other place I lived with my parents when I was really young. Actually, it was one of my first memories." Nostalgically and with a smile in his voice, he recalled, "My mom, she was always the sentimental type. When we moved out and we were leaving for the final time, I remember holding her hand and walking room to room. Each room, we'd shut off the light and say good bye. It felt.." he struggled for the right word, "scary. Scary and sad. I guess as a kid, it was all I was use to, and for it to be over in a flash, only to have'ta move forward, I didn't even get how you do that." With a long sigh, Ichigo steadied his voice that seemed to be shaking slightly. "That's what it felt like when I could feel everyone's reiatsu vanishing around me. Their lives were just turned off in a flash, like light switch being pushed down. There was nothing I could do, and now I'm just suppose to go on to this new life." Slumping back in his chair, feeling a sweeping defeat, Ichigo said, "I don't even know how to do that."

"But do you not owe yourself to try?" asked Byakuya tenderly. "You have all the time in the world to be a shinigami. In fact, if you returned home and found yourself still wanting a place within the Gotei, I'm certain you'd be welcomed with open arms." With almost a hint of humor in his tone, Byakuya speculated, "For you, I am sure they would bring out the entirety of the Seireitei as a welcoming comity." Ichigo smiled softly at this as Byakuya continued. "However such a luxury is not a given with your human life. It is merely a blink in time, and once you leave, you can not simply go back."

With his hands fidgeting slightly in his lap, Ichigo felt contemplative. It had been so long since things had been "normal", that he found it a chore to think back on those times with any amount of clarity. Yet he tried. "That life would always be a lie though. There'd always be secrets. Even before all of this," he admitted, surprised at how easy he found his candor to be, "sometimes I just felt like I was coasting through. I just kind've existed without any plan, only knowing what step I would take right before I took it. After all of this, I don't know if I could do anything that I'd feel this attached to."

With all the patience that defined the Kuchiki noble, Byakuya gave an empathetic node of the head. "I understand. However, I have no doubt you'll figure out exactly what you want to do once you give it thought. With experience comes growth and self exploration. You need to evaluate these parts of you and give yourself time to become accustomed to your new perspective, whatever it might be. But these things do take _time_." A fierce blood orange pierced the space between them, giving an edge to the man's voice. "Shinigamis, we can not do the things humans can, nor can we even express the emotions we feel as they do. In the end, you will chose what is best for you, but do not waste such a blessing on a whim."

Though his voice betrayed little, it was not lost on Ichigo that the noble was all but pleading. It was the spark in his eyes. It then dawned on Ichigo that Byakuya cared for him too. When had they gotten to this place? Softer and with a touch of amusement, he asked, "Is that a suggestion or a command, Byakuya?"

Such a whimsical, rich gold unlike any other filled the noble's eyes, making them look like precious jewels perched within the sockets. Ichigo decided that was his favorite change so far. "As If I'd be delusional enough to think anyone could command you to do anything."

A warm smile formed on Ichigo's thoughtful face. As it mellowed, the lingering effects could be heard in his words. "We've never talked like this before, or much at all, really. It's nice."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, the gold dimming into a sunny yellow. "Perhaps it takes such tragic events to realize what's worth putting into words and what is not. Such pretenses seem a bit trivial at this point."

"We should..do it again," said Ichigo, his eye shifting.

"Now you are pushing it," teased the raven.

"Pushing limits is kind've my thing." Ichigo laughed, the reaction sounding as odd as it felt to know Byakuya Kuchiki was the cause of it. None the less, this was the first time he laughed in days, days filled to the brim with enough tragedy and emotional tumult to make such few hours feel like the haul of years dragging slowly. It felt almost inconceivable that such drastic change could happen over the course of a couple of sunsets, that as the evening tide sun adumbrated the crimson quenched soil of this land and said it's goodbye in the same manner it had for all of time past and as it will continue to do for all the time to come, it was otherworldly to see how much things had changed, yet didn't at the same time. Ichigo supposed he was just happy that not all of these developments were grimly severe. With so many loses, one had to count the little things for the sake of their own sanity.

A hush fell over the noble that enveloped his whole body. His limbs dared not move as he shut his eyes in the face of his stirring thoughts, and he only hoped Ichigo hadn't seen the flashes of memories that projected over his features. "For my part in your trouble, I am truly sorry. Words mean little, and they can not revive the innocence of your soul. Yet such is all I have to offer, this and my gratitude. The Gotei, we have failed our people. I have failed my people, but mostly, I failed you. Because of my shortcomings, I had to ask you to protect this world, something I'm sure you would have done without prompting, but none the less, that burden should not have fallen so steeply onto your shoulders. For my weakness, I apol-"

"I don't want to hear that crap," Ichigo growled, as his jaw locked and his fist clenched from memories of the battle filling his mind, the sound of shattering bones and the putrid smell of blood making the flashback feel too authentic. "Weak, you say?" he asked rhetorically, every syllable being delivered from the edge of his temper. Unabashed emerald grey swirls of beauty starred in his direction, only succeeding to oxidize Ichigo's inward flame, just reminding Ichigo of what this man had given up to the war. "They don't make 'em much stronger than you, Byakuya. Other than As Nodt and that day on Sokyoku hill, how many battles have you really lost? And your fight with me doesn't even count, because I've always thought that you never really wanted to win it. Those cowards, they fucking cheated." He tutted, tugging at his hair in frustration. "All's fair in war? Bull shit! To a shinigami, honor means something. To come into your home and start murdering innocent people unprompted, only to take away your greatest power, well, maybe it makes 'em slyer, you could even say it makes them smarter, but what it damn sure doesn't make them is stronger." Scoffing, he reasoned metaphorically, "If they were so strong, they wouldn't have to break your leg just so they'd have one to stand on."

Flashes. Light bulb flickers of images switching on and off at rapid speeds ravished Ichigo's mind. Byakuya's body used to carve out a chasm in a stone edifice, the tattered skin and blood matted fabric fusing into one huge gory obscurity, making the edges of Byakuya's body undefinable, the starts and the ends all blending. All of his life seeping out and pooling around him, the broken man was the personification of death. At the sight of Byakuya, the look of absolute regret and dishonor morphing his eyes into pure pungent onyx, Ichigo fumed with murderous impulses. Yet the spark of hope - not for himself, but for his world - that ignited in those downcast eyes as Byakuya took in Ichigo's arrival had the young soul reaper calming an impending explosion boiling within despite wanting to allow his hate to spew over like a geyser. Knowing Byakuya would die, and die alone and ashamed, he felt his soul curdle and hiss with a need to destroy whomever was responsible. There was only enough time to give the man the peace of knowing his world would be protected, leaving Ichigo to assume the noble expired with such a notion, his last thoughts ones of undeserved self loathing. It had been almost too much to bare.

The scarring imagery made Ichigo's hands shake with residual furry, and he grew red in the face. "The strength of anyone isn't in how many battles they lose or win, but their resolve to keep getting back up," he admonished as Byakuya looked on unruffled by the outburst, yet intently taking in every tremblingly spoken words. "Out of all those dead, the Zero squad chose you to heal." Clutching at the itchy cloth of Byakuya's blanket, Ichigo implored, "Don't take that lightly. So I don't want to hear this bull shit about how you're weak or your apologies." Sucking in a sharp breath, it tumbled from his lungs with all the stability of a landslide. Rasping and breathless, Ichigo's words had a pleading conviction. "Please, don't say that. Listening to them once was hard enough, so I don't want to hear them again, because their not true."

The quaking of Ichigo's hands and the jittering of his voice vibrated through the nobleman, making it perfectly limpid how distraught the memories and words made the younger man. It wasn't stunning, for Ichigo had always had an all enduring empathy, getting outraged for people's sake as if their feelings were his own. Without even needing to think about it, as if it was a habit, Byakuya's soft and gentle touch glided over Ichigo's, the chill of his fingers almost searing against the torrid hand of the other.

No matter how Byakuya felt about himself, Ichigo's words and the intensity of his sincerity comforted him in ineffable ways. Not only had Ichigo saved their world in a manner no one else was capable of, but even through his own agony, here he was, offering his unique encouragement without the jaundicing presence of pity. If his fevered vehemence showed anything, it was that Ichigo believed those sentiments without halt, and in his own way, he meant it when he said he cared for the noble.

Perhaps Ichigo was right, but the harshness of self scrutiny was something integral to Byakuya. He couldn't just simply maroon a thought process he'd been conditioned to believe his whole life, even if he saw the logic behind Ichigo's judgment. None the less, this moment was analeptic for Byakuya's soul, and just maybe, he could exile himself with a certain degree of tranquility.

Byakuya's crisply tender palm releasing a calming energy into him made Ichigo's eyes shoot up and soften almost immediately. A subtly warmhearted yellow danced in Byakuya's eyes, zapping away any trace of anger Ichigo had. "For the man who kept such an imposing promise to me, I can do this."

"Yeah, but you're probably still thinking it. Stubborn bastard," murmured Ichigo.

Fighting the smile that desperately tugged at the crevices of his lips, Byakuya said, "What was it you said, it takes one to know one?"

Sighing, Ichigo clasped his free hand atop Byakuya's, sandwiching it with his warmness. He then laid his forehead on his own hand, as if basking in the tangibility of Byakuya's life and the relief that it brought him. It made sense, Byakuya thought. Ichigo took all lose of life under his watch personally, as if he failed every fallen soldier and their deaths merely added to the invisible weight that hung around the man's shoulders. Knowing Byakuya was alive, it probably lightened the heaviness of his own guilt, if even just a little. If there was any reason Byakuya had to be happy about surviving the war, it was this realization. "I'm sorry for getting all upset. I was just..so angry seeing you like that, saying those things. So angry I had to flash out of there so I could tear into the guy responsible. You didn't deserve to go out that way. If you go out, it should be with your head held high."

"I'm uncertain if anyone truly dies in the manner of which they deserve," Byakuya poised, his head dipped humbly.

Looking up to the noble through floaty eyes, Ichigo ask tentatively, "Like Renji?"

At the name, something shriveled and recoiled inside of Byakuya, making him once again turn his gaze of fear that his weakness would be palpable. "Renji, his death was honorable. Nothing is more honorable than dying for the protection of others. However, just?" He inhaled, gathering strength to make his voice sound less meek than it was. "There's no such thing in war. If that were so, a young, good - willed man as yourself wouldn't be cursed to carry such a heavy heart and Renji would be alive."

"And you would have your vision.." Ichigo added, clenching his hands tighter as if the touch anchored him.

Byakuya nodded. "Yes."

"Sometimes it feels like we lost the war," Ichigo admitted, though he was unclear as to why. It was just something to get off his chest, and he expect no real response, especially the one he received.

"There are no winners or losers in war, Kurosaki," Byakuya explained wisely, "only the ones left alive. Yet, that is us, we are the ones still standing." Slipping his hand away, he cringed inwardly at the lose of that radiant heat and how it left his hand now feeling oddly wrong. "That means something, so make the very best of it."

Something about the words resonated with the younger man, making him take them to heart. "I will," Ichigo reassured.

"And one more thing," Byakuya confessed, "You were correct. I believe in my heart of hearts, I did not want to win that day." It was not an easy statement for Byakuya to put into words, but he had his reasons.

A mystified expression morphed into an impish smirk before Ichigo quipped, "Are you sure you didn't hit your head in that fall? You, the great Kuchiki Byakuya, is actually admitting that I was right?"

"Do not get so cocky, boy. I am only affirming this, so I can spar you and prove my superiority once and for all." It was a lie, and Byakuya was sure even Ichigo knew that much, but to what depth he was misrepresenting himself, the younger man didn't yet grasp.

Hearing that filled Ichigo with a renewed hopefulness. Not that he doubted the noble for a moment, but hearing Byakuya sound so confident, so much like his old self, it reassured him that, one day, everything would be okay. Standing from his seat, Ichigo chuckled, "Any time. It's nice to see you haven't lost your edge." Bringing his hand to Byakuya's shoulder, he let it hover in a certain nervousness he could not explain. Finally, he clasped it down on the other's lithe yet strong blade, making the raven look up towards Ichigo as if he really saw him. "I should probably get going. I'm sure I got on your nerves enough for one day. I'll see you around, Byakuya," he stated, as if it was an obvious fact of life.

The return of that crestfallen blue made Ichigo frown, if not shiver a bit. Somewhat cryptically, Byakuya said, "You have many great things ahead of you, Kurosaki Ichigo."

The finality in those words made Ichigo falter, his chest twisting uncomfortably. Something about them sounded like a good bye, and that Ichigo did not enjoy. He didn't enjoy it at all. Yet, knowing there was little he could say at the moment, and that he was close to running late for his meeting, he simply walked towards the door. When he reached the archway, before he took that final step out, his back taunted and he found himself saying, "And you'll be there to see them all."

Hearing the swift gust of wind that signaled a flash step, Byakuya let a small frown mare his face. To himself, he said, "I almost wish that were true, Ichigo."

 **xXx**

Shunsui Kyoraku sat slackly in the captain's quarters of the first division, holding his sake glass in a delicate grasp. His gaze was directed out a window that gave way to a panorama of raw destruction. In the decimated buildings and cracked foundations, the captain tried to find something to take from it, some vestige of morale he could pluck from the cornucopia of rubble and death to instill in his people. Perhaps there was some lesson to be learned in all of this senselessness. In the end, the only blooming gospel to be yielded was the continuous of their worlds. Indubitably, the truth of being a shinigami is that one must be willing to give up their lives or worse, the lives of the ones they love. Every lose of life was integral and virtuous in its occurrence. However, why they had to do such a thing, why one deranged, power hungry monster who knew nothing of the value of life chose to lay ruin to their homes, he could never comprehend. Kami help him if he did.

He wished there was more he could come up with, something that would fully express the weight behind these loses, but there were no words. He'd given up that fruitless thought process around drink four, and now on his seventh refill, his glossy, strained eyes stared blankly. The thrumming of rain washing away the stains of battle consoled him as it's onslaught echoed in the hauntingly hushed enclosure.

From a day of delegating and damage control, the new commander felt barely above water. His head tingled numbly from the constantly replenished list of duties. In fact, the man simply went from task to task, one crisis at a time. When there's a mountain of obligations the size of Hueco Mundo encumbering your way, the quickest most effective path was not clearly marked. If anything, the boundless amount of presented problems often left you overwhelmed with how to start, lost and broken down on the side of the road. So he made one step at a time, for his steps guided a whole body of compatriots. He couldn't let them down while they were looking towards him for leadership, and for every trouble to be solved came a new thought to add to his continuously spinning wheel of maelstrom capturing his mind.

For a while, instead of drowning in his distress, he decided to drown in some sake.

A light knocking grasped Shunsui's attention to his opened doorway. Leaning against a monogamy frame was Ichigo, giving the commander a careful look. "Sorry to crash the party, Nanao-san told me to just come in."

"Ah! Kurosaki," the elder greeted while he took off his hat and sat it on his desk, "in the lair of Kyoraku, such formalities are relaxed."

As Ichigo glided over, he noticed the forced smile and blanched complexion of the man. Eyeing Shunsui's drink, he said, "I can see that."

Pressing his lips to the edge of his cup, the captain remarked, "Now Kurosaki, you're not going to mother hen me, right?" before taking a sizable gulp of the burning liquid.

Taking a seat, he let his posture match that of the captain's, mirroring his droopiness. "Nah. With Nanao-san, I think you have enough of that coming your way. If there ever was a day to drink, It be today." After a brief pause and a smirk, he added, "Besides, drinking's kind've your thing, so Central knew what they were getting into when they appointed you."

Shunsui gave a dry chuckle, sounding almost as bitter as the alcohol tasted. "Just shows those bastards were desperate."

More seriously, Ichigo reasoned, "You were the best choice, hands down." Clearing his throat, Ichigo stumbled into his next sentence. "Um, I heard about Ukitake-san," he said barely over a whisper. "How is he?"

"Jyuushiro."

"What?" asked Ichigo.

Spinning his flower engraved glass, Shunsui smiled into the liquid. "I think he'd like it if you called him Jyuushiro. Ju always worried himself for you like a mother worries for his kids, so I think he'd like that."

A soft smile touched Ichigo's lips. "Jyuushiro then, how is he?"

Still looking down, the commander said, "He's still in a comma. They don't know if he'll ever wake up." Blinking a few times, he lifted his face and a toothy gape pulled at his aged features. "I'm not worried though, Ju once slept for two whole days. He's probably just taking a long cat nap, working on his beauty rest."

With a nod, Ichigo fought back the tears that glistened in his eyes. "Yeah, for sure," he agreed. "He's gotta wake up, who would follow you around and make sure you don't run into things in your drunken stupors? Jushiro would never slide out on his duty like that."

"They did say improbable, not impossible." As if almost to convince himself, he nodded a couple of times and stated, "He's going to wake up."

"If these last couple of years taught me anything, it's that improbable does happen," comforted Ichigo. Next, he grabbed the nape of his neck nervously, not really sure he wanted an answer to what he was about to ask. "So, uhm.." Running his flat palm across his face, Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose, gathering himself. "Fuck," he sighed, "look, I want you to give it to me straight, who's all..who's all dead or critical? I don't want to keep finding out over and over again, I rather just know all at once. I already know about Renji and gramps, of course."

At the clanking of a sake cup hitting wood, Ichigo looked up. With steady hands that seemed those of a sober man, the commander poured a glass. Sliding it over to the younger man, his gaze met Ichigo's confused one. "I figured you'd want a drink for this," he answered the silent question.

"That's comforting," Ichigo rebutted dryly.

Nudging the glass a little closer, the commander said, "It _sure_ is, all right. Once you get past the burning, that is."

Dubiously, Ichigo eye'd the liquor before picking the cup up by the rim and swirling it a bit. As he watched the beverage swash around, he shrugged his shoulder and said, "Screw it, why now?" With one flick of the wrist and one valiant gulp, Ichigo choked it all down, a harsh taste washing over his tongue, leaving a blistering path in it's wake as he felt the liquor flow down his throat and to his chest until it settled in his gut. His face twisted into a grimace, and he coughed violently.

The commander seemed to get a good laugh at the heaving man while he took a sip of his own drink and let Ichigo's fit pass. "You don't drink often, I presume."

He wiped his mouth with the palm of his hand, only to reveal a scowl. "I'm seventeen," he tutted and rolled his eyes, "somehow I missed it between classes and battling to the death."

Simpering, the commander's eyes filled with an unidentified emotion that looked akin to guilt. "Right, I forget sometimes you're just a kid," he defended before downing the rest of his drink in one motion.

"Me too," Ichigo said.

Replenishing both his and Ichigo's glass, he advised, "Here's a tip, sip don't swallow. It' not a race, friend."

Ichigo simply nodded as his fingers found their way to the cold, flat surface. He took a couple of experimental sips and savored the sweeter undertones of the drink he'd missed in his earlier hast. Kyoraku had been correct, once the burning faded, the balmy liquid left behind a tepid fuzziness that seeped through his body slowly, relaxing his worked up muscles. "So," he prompted.

Getting right to it, the commander said, "Mostly unseated officers that you've never heard of." Visibly cringing, he said, "Over a thousand fell in battle."

Ichigo winced at the number. He knew it had to be large, but hearing it out loud made it feel so real, so unsurmountable.

"Then," he continued meekly, "most of the people in the area of Gerard Valkyrie when he was defeated by Kuchiki-san. There was a blast and…" he sighed, "Most of the visored were killed in the blast. Hirako Taichou-san, Hachigen-san, Lisa-san were killed there. Muguruma Taichou-san and Rose Taichou-san, they fell also." Gauging Ichigo's reaction, he saw the man clenching to the wooden arm of the chair for dear life and one of his legs shaking compulsively, but he held himself well. When he nodded to tell the commander to continue, he did. "Ayasegawa go-seki, Hanataro san-seki, Hisagi-fukutaichou, Nemu- fukutaichou, plus a number of seated officers."

A sobering silence followed as the commander took in Ichigo's flushed face dipped towards his lap. He could see the young man was trying to process it all, swallow it down along with his grief. A tear escaped him and glided down his cheek, one of which Ichigo wiped away. He nodded his head in acceptance before sinking deeper into his chair. After another moment, he finally said, sounding cracked and damaged, "That really sucks."

"Yeah, it does," the commander agreed. They each pressed their sake cups to their lips.

"What about funerals for all of those people?" asked Ichigo.

"We usually practice ceremonial funeral pyre. However, there are just too many to hold this where we normally would," he explained gravely. With his pointer and thumb, the man rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I was thinking we could hold the actual cremating on Sokyoku Hill and we'll have a remembrance below. I'll encourage individuals to have their own vigils. With so many deaths, not everyone will get the recognition they deserve."

Ichigo shook his head to show he understood while taking a deep breath. Everything inside of himself felt like it was constricting, as if his internal space was shrinking by the second and his organs were all packed tightly, ready to burst at any moment. Still he held it together, he had too. "And what about Ishida? Where's he at?"

"Don't worry about your friend, Kurosaki. He's safe and sound in our nicest prison cell." Already predicting the inception of a heated tangent, the commander took the liberty to explain. "By his own choice. I'm aware of his place in the war and the position he was in. It's more of his way of showing good faith, just until this all settles." Cocking an eyebrow, he concluded, "This may come as a surprise, but this isn't exactly a safe place to be a Quincy right now." Seeing Ichigo's troubled expression, he added, "present company excluded. I've even heard murmurs that shinigamis want to invade the Lichtreich to eradicate all surviving Quincy's and their descendants, powers or not. We're not ready for him to leave, and he's not ready to leave either. I think he needs time to figure it out. His powers are not limited, and he can leave the cell at anytime."

"So that bastards hiding, is that it?" Ichigo challenged.

"Cut the kid some slack," the elder laughed. "He does have a whole kingdom to consider, since, ya know, he's the rightful heir to the Quincy thrown. He's not just living for himself anymore."

"That's what started this war, right, the eradication of most living Quinces all those years ago? You're not actually considering repeating this?!"

"Yes," the commander confirmed, "that was the cause. Things were different back then. The Quinces were putting the entire world at danger because their techniques are centered around killing hallows. The balance of souls were becoming dangerous and they refused to listen to reason. When your options are kill off a race of people or let the whole world perish, the decision is already made for you."

"I get that," Ichigo said, "but with Ishida, you're hoping he'll change their ways?"

"I have to hope for this," he confessed. "The last thing I want is more bloodshed, but I won't allow a threat like that to roam free." With a seriousness he rarely conveyed, the commander said, "Not after what happened here." With a more lighthearted expression, the commander reasoned, "Ah, but Ishida-san is a smart man. His logic will supersede that Quincy pride now that Yhwach's influence is out of the way."

"You don't have to worry about Ishida," affirmed Ichigo. "He's a pain in the ass, but he'll do the right thing."

Running a finger around the rim of his glass, Shunsui questioned, "Now, any more questions before we talk about the real reason for you being here?"

"Yes," Ichigo confirmed confidently, "I want to make sure you're not planning to take away Byakuya's position."

A baffled glare quickly turned into a playful smirk. "My, I didn't know you were rubbing elbows with our Bya-kun."

Ichigo scoffed. "He'd kill you if he heard you call him that, and he's my friend." Putting on an offended scowl, he asked, "Is that a problem?"

Pursing his lips, Shunsui hide their curl behind his sake glass. "No, just..unexpected." Taking a sip and then placing the cup down, he explained, "I honestly haven't had time to think that far ahead yet. I don't know what's going to happen. Taichou, they do paper work, train, delegate, along with individual field assignments, which I'm sure will be in high frequency after Yhwach jumbled up the forces that be. Tosen use to do the training himself and have his lieutenant handle the paperwork, but he was a different case. Trainings certainly out right now. Someone could help with his paperwork, but for all the effort, that person might as well just do the paperwork themselves. Brails an option, but even that will take quite a time for him to master." He let out a frustrated sigh. Seeing the vexation written all over the other's face, Shunsui said, "I just don't know right now. With all that's going on, we'll need strong leaders, and I can't say Kuchiki is physically able. I know it's not an answer that you like, but it's all I have."

Unable to help himself, Ichigo sneered, only to follow it up with a long sigh. "I understand. I couldn't do your job if the world depended on it, so I'm in no position to criticize." Instantly, a switch flipped and his honey eyes became as dark and thick as chocolate, his voice almost threatening. "But I can't let you just throw him out to the wolves, not after everything he's done."

With a nervous chuckle, the commander said, "Hey now, there's no wolves, no throwing. I know better than getting in between you and something you want to protect." Clearing his throat, he moved on, "Now, for the reason I asked you here, I gotta know, what are your plans?"

"That's a loaded question, huh?" Ichigo grimaced at the complexities. What were his plans? Plans were never really his forte, and as of right now, he was just taking this whole thing step by step. "What are my options? I know you mentioned that I may not be able to return to the World of the Living."

"Yes," the commander nodded, "that was a concern. You have such a ramped reiatsu that we were uncertain if we had a seal that might work for you. We wouldn't want you suffocating humans because you suck at controlling that stuff."

"That's like asking me to control a volcano!" Ichigo reasoned, "Ever since I merged, it's like I released this never ending supply that keeps pouring out of me."

"Well luckily for you and any poor humans that may be in the vicinity of your _volcano_ of reiatsu," he explained with a touch of humor, "I've already spoken to Kisuke-san and Kurotsuchi-san. Their more than confident they could prepare a special seal. That being said, if you want to go home, you're able, and if you'd like to stay here as a member of the Gotei 13, you'd be accepted fully. The choice is up to you. Though, we have quite a few captain seats that need to be filled, if you're interested."

Standing at an impasse, Ichigo felt weary of which way he would go. Byakuya's words rang in his ear, and he knew it be wrong to just give up on his human side without serious consideration. What did _he_ really want? It had been so long since he made a decision that wasn't a gut instinct or that was for himself alone. It had been so long since he had time to stop and consider. Things seemed much simpler when there was only time to react and the choices were practically made for him.

Soul Society had been turned inside out and ripped assured, meaning the world was standing on the precipice of new beginnings. As the charred skin of the land healed, it would forever change. Like a family, the rest of the gotei would be working towards a better tomorrow, rebuilding, reshaping, revamping. Of course, there was also the quincy situation to consider. Ishida now had the faith of a whole race on his shoulders. There was Rukia, all of his comrades, Byakuya, so many trudging through to regain even a morsel of what was lose. Could Ichigo really just go back home and kick up his feet while everyone he cared for were barely crawling their way out the mud of Ywaches malevolence? The notion felt as if it went against his very nature.

"How long will it take them to make the seal?" Ichigo questioned.

"I'm not sure, but I'd say a couple of weeks max."

He nodded in comprehension before running a hand through his hair thoughtfully. "Then that means I don't have to make a decision right now. I'll stay and offer as much support as I can, and in the meantime, I'll give it some thought."

"Oh," the commander said slyly, "you actually want to think it over? I guess war really does change people."

"I haven't really had time to think about things before," Ichigo commented with subtle hints of derisiveness.

"Where will you stay? Many barracks have been destroyed, but there are division compound camps that will be setting up all over. You'll have your pick of any, Im sure," he chuckled. "Everyone will jump at the chance to have a sleepover with our resident savior."

The thought of being victimized by helpless fawning made Ichigo moan inwardly. He hadn't really considered that. "Don't worry about it, I can rough it where ever."

Ignoring the wave of rejection from Ichigo, Shunsui refilled his glass once more. "Hey now, one for the road. We have things to celebrate."

Ichigo snorted sarcastically. "Oh yeah, like what?"

Picking up his glass and prompting Ichigo to do the same, Shunsui held it out in a cheers like fashion. "We are alive, Kurosaki. That in and of itself is worth a celebration." Clinking his cup against Ichigo's, he said, "To being alive."

With a small smile, Ichigo hailed, "To Jyuushiro and all members of the Gotei."

 **xXx**

 **Tifanny91: Thanks love! I'm glad you're digging it. I'll try to catch as many mistakes as possible. I have no patience for a beta and my editing skills leave something to be desired. I do try hard for you guys though!**

 **elhan: Thank you for the support! It always makes me happy to see people like my writing style.**

 **hopelessfreakz: Your wish is my command. ;) lol Thank yew.**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey guys! First I wanted to say that I'm so flatter by the response I got on my last chapter. In all honesty, I don't typically get a lot of feedback on any of my stories, so I was really shocked. I was so flattered, It left me mega inspired to write this new chapter.

So a lot of people have made comments about the death of Renji, and I feel as if it deserves an explanation. Here are my reasons. First and foremost, I really wanted to press the point that this _is_ war. People die, and there is no "reason" for it. It's sad and senseless, but it is what it is. Second off, I wanted to really solidify the losses and just how effected by the war the main characters of this fic are. It had to be personal and hit home. Renji means a lot to Byakuya, Ichigo, and Rukia. Losing him was a tragedy they could share in. Lastly, without Renji's death, a lot of this story wouldn't have been able to take place, or not realistically so. My hopes for this fic is to create a story that seems genuinely plausible and as in character as possible, and I needed there to be these factors that brought them together like this. Not saying Ichigo and Byakuya could never be a thing with Renji there, but I honestly think it would take a much longer time to grow into what I'm trying to create. I love Renji's character, and I know his death is sad, but personally, I think the best stories don't try to step around peoples emotions like their shards of glass, and instead, they take those emotions on a journey.

I'll reply to comments at the bottom.

Good vibes ~ Ashes.

 **A Spectrum Absorbed**

 **xXx**

 **You've been climbing shoulders around you,**

 **trying to reach the big blue sky.**

 **And all above you is just the blackness, darling.**

 **And everything below you dies.**

 **\- Ben Howard**

 **xXx**

"Lord Kuchiki will see you now." Holding an empty sterling silver serving tray, an aged woman with a firm lip bowed regally. "He is in his study, which is where i'll present you," she stated curtly.

"Uh, okay." Ichigo followed in step with the attendant, quickly throwing Rukia an anxious over the shoulder look as he did so.

Her brilliantly helpful retort was a flippant wave of the hand and a roll of the eyes.

As Ichigo followed the attendant, he noted the simplistic elegance of the estate, feeling sooth by the warm color palette. The furniture was all hand crafted cherry wood, accented by dark jade sliding doors, all embroidered with a restrained yet tactful design. Bamboo tiles in clean geometrical shapes stretched from wall to wall and perched banzais lined the hallway. The whole ambience seeming to relax, even from the sweet sandalwood aroma that filled the air.

Upon entering the room, he first noticed the captain and nobleman free of any lofty raments that bespoke his prestige or position. Sitting upon a verdigris zabuton at a glossy wooden kyousoku, the nobleman was dressed in a stunning yutaka. The thick fabric was a royal purple hue with striking crimson pinstripes. The free flowing sleeves and draping of the garment were trimmed with one foot crimson borders that rippled down the man's fit form. Basking in the limpid sunlight shining through his opened paper doors, giving way to the picturesque garden, Byakuya was resplendent.

Ichigo thought, that with his subtly wavy hair loose and falling in which every way it cared against his milky tranquil face, Byakuya looked remarkably young. Not much older than Ichigo himself, actually.

His slender fingers fumbled only marginally for the handle of his cup, and slowly, taking extra care not to spill, he moved the rim to his stiffened lip and blew lightly.

"Lord Kuchiki, your _guest_ has arrived," the attendant announced, a hint of disdain sounding through her respectively delivered greeting.

"Yo, Byakuya," Ichigo smiled, inwardly cackling at the scornful glare he received from the elder woman for his casual manner of addressing the nobleman. Giving the chambers a cursory once over, Ichigo whistled in approval. "Nice place, Byakuya. It's a lot less extravagant and showy than I thought it'd be."

The noble gave a ridiculing huff as he felt around the flat surface in an attempt to sit his cup on it's holder. "Yes," he mocked dryly, "we only bring out the gold encrusted china and trained lions for the most momentous of occasions."

Slinging off his swords and lazily leaning them against the wall, Ichigo snarked, "Great employs too," smirking at the scowling attendant, "so friendly."

As Ichigo came to sit parallel to the man, a barely visible smirk flickered on Byakuya's face. "I've trained them well," he deadpanned.

"So that's where they get that great personality from," Ichigo deadpanned in return. Sipping on his own piping tea, Ichigo's face contorted in aversion as he stuck out his tongue and made a yuck sound at the bitter sapidity. "You got any sugar for this?" Ichigo asked the peeved off attendant rudely, feeling satisfied with the woman's obvious annoyance.

Locking her jaw, the woman stifled a growl. "Right away, Kurosaki-san," she spat before retreating.

"Does your visit have a reason or are you simply here to antagonize my staff?" Byakuya inquired, perking an eyebrow.

"Hey, she started it," Ichigo justified, idly circling the rim of his cup with the pad of his finger. "Besides," he smirked, "antagonizing you is more fun anyway."

With an amused hum, Byakuya countered, "Especially when you do it so well. Though, I'm sure this is not the reason you requested an audience with me. It is oddly formal, for if you were merely trying to bother me, you'd have just scaled my window."

"Heh, I guess you caught me," Ichigo confessed, grabbing his nape nervously. "Well, It's going to take two weeks at least before Urahara will be able to make a seal that can hold in my reiatsu, so in the meantime, I'm going to hang around and contribute as much as I can. And, well, I guess I was hoping I could stay here," Ichigo managed to ask, stumbling over his words. He had no clue why he found this so hard of a request to articulate or why he felt anxious. Seeing the noble perk an eyebrow curiously, Ichigo amended, "Uh, don't get me wrong, I have no problem staying at a compound, it's just, everywhere I go..people are patting my back and treating me like some sort've celebrity." Twiddling his thumbs, he explained, "Maybe that should feel nice or something, but it just feels.."

"Suffocating?" Byakuya finished.

Ichigo's eyes softened and he exhaled a pent up breath, realizing he had no reason to feel unnerved around the nobleman. "Yeah," he solidified, smiling just barely.

Overlapping his hands gracefully, Byakuya turned his unseeing gaze towards the open estuary of his lush gardens before closing his eyes and inhaling dulcet whiffs of greenery. "You've just won the war and have experienced great tragedy. While being on the precipice of such a change in your life, I'm sure some normalcy would be pleasing. Or, at least, not being constantly reminded of what is plaguing you."

Out of everyone, of all the people he had met in his time as a shinigami, Ichigo never expected it be Byakuya who'd comprehended his harrowing quandaries without Ichigo even needing to verbalize them. To be so understood without judgment or the need for awkwardly fumbled explanations was refreshing and left Ichigo with an overwhelmingly peaceful sensation of security, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Honestly, he'd forgotten how nice something so simple could be. Perhaps that is what led to his earnest conversations with the noble, something he wasn't vulnerable enough to allow in anyone else's presence. This mutual understanding they shared of one another, it made him feel like, for the first time, he didn't have to be pertinaciously strong twentyfourseven.

"Thanks," Ichigo marveled just above a whisper, "for understanding, I mean." Clearing his throat, he positioned his voice back to it's normal boyish grit. "I had a feeling you would."

Splendidly, Byakuya's eyes glittered with gold dust, flourishing with a devilish charm. "It is only proper courtesy that I allow you dwellings here." Devoid of any verbal emotion, the noble said, "I shall assign my favored attendant, Fujita-san, to prepare your room and help you settle once she arrives with your sugar."

Gauging the man's face and the enjoyment in his eyes, Ichigo put on a half hearted scowl. "You have a twisted sense of entertainment," Ichigo remarked.

"I have no idea what you speak of," Byakuya defended with fraudulent naivety, biting back a smirk as he kept his face perfectly stony. "Though, I have never known anyone to dislike you, so this will be a humbling experience for you."

Rolling his eyes and leaning his cheek on a set of coiled fingers, Ichigo gave a mocking chuckle. "Plenty of people dislike me. Maybe people think of me as some hot shot here, but in the World of the Living, I'm just a punk with weird hair. Oh, add that I could see and talk to spirits that no one else could, I was everyone's favorite weirdo."

Tilting his head, Byakuya asked, "You hadn't many friends?"

"A few," Ichigo explained, "but most of us usually did our own things and mostly had our peculiarities in common. Still, growing up, most of the other guys really had it out for me." Rubbing his head, Ichigo poised, "I guess I was pretty popular with girls, though I don't really know why."

As if he was covering a cough, Byakuya lifted a handkerchief to his mouth and stifled an impending chuckle. Then he reprimanded himself for how endearing he found that surprising bout of innocence to be. The words cute and Ichigo should never be two things associated in his mind. In fact, Byakuya very rarely used the word cute to describe anything. None the less, he figured he'd allow the young man to work out the finer details of female attraction on his own and made no comment. After thinking on Ichigo's words for a moment, Byakuya ponder, "Perhaps I should be the one humbled then."

"Why?" Ichigo inquired, sharpening his eyes.

"I assumed the perspective of those of this world is the entire picture of whom you are when such isn't the case." Grey ablaze with sunny orange, his eyes looked like the specks of a sunset that filtered through throngs of Mongolian oak trees. "There's a whole part of you that is uniquely human." Genuinely intrigued, the nobleman asked, "Is this what you meant when you said you never fit into the living world, even before you became a shinigami?"

Unsure why, Ichigo felt pleased that someone actually cared to ask about his human facets. Sometimes it seemed people forgot about that side of him, and at times, even Ichigo forgot about it too.

"Partially," Ichigo answered bluntly, "I was always different, but with a shinigami dad and a quincy mom, it makes sense. I wasn't even really made for that world."

Byakuya hummed thoughtfully, "I do not believe this. The world is a diverse place with many anomalies. Being so does not mean you do not fit, just that.." he paused pensively, "you make a place for yourself, which you seem rather good at doing wherever you go. More so, though your powers were a cornerstone to your winning, it is your innate human tenacity that truly separates you from the rest. Do not fragment yourself," Byakuya said sternly, yet with a hint of ardent admiration. "Your human part is just as quintessential to who you are. You would not be Kurosaki Ichigo without it."

An unexplainable stirring surged through Ichigo's gut, it was warm and gooey and a sensation new to him. Once more, for reasons he wasn't even sure of yet, Ichigo found a light smile pulling at his features. All he knew for sure was, Byakuya saw and treated him in a way that was destinguishably different than others did, as if they were matching in more ways than not. Different covers and books with similar morals.

Feeling slightly off put by the ambiguous and unaccustomed feelings, Ichigo opted to change the subject rather than question it heavily. "So it's that obvious your attendant doesn't like me, huh?"

"She has been with my family since before I was born, so I do not need my sight to tell when she is bothered," Byakuya explained, secretly creeping his fingers inch by meticulous inch to his tea cup. "It is nothing you've done, surely. Fujita-san is rather protective, as I was all but raised by her."

"Oh, I guess that makes more sense." Chortling at the thought, Ichigo taunted, "Actually, it's kind've sweet, Kuchiki Byakuya being mothered. I'd pay an arm and a leg to see you get scolded."

If it wasn't so unbecoming, Byakuya would have rolled his eyes. Instead, he said, "You're ridiculous," to which Ichigo just smirked in amusement, flickering his eyes to Byakuya's fingers unsuccessfully grabbing for that familiar porcelain.

After noting the sound of a door slinging open and the soft rise and fall of shoes, Fujita-san made her way back to the pair. Bowing down, she dropped two cubes of sugar in Ichigo's cup. "Here you are, Kurosaki-san. I trust two is plenty." Glancing over to the labored searching of the nobleman's hand, she did not wait for Ichigo to respond before promptly sitting down the bowl of sugar cubes. "Let me help you, Lord Kuchiki," she announced, reaching out her hand only to have it grabbed by a firm yet calm grip.

Only barely holding back his scowl, Ichigo expressed in a steely and definitive manner that allotted no argument, "He is perfectly capable of doing that himself."

"Kurosaki Ichigo," said that cold, bone chilling baritone that could drop the temperature of a glacier. "I am not some damsel in distress, and I do not need you speaking on my behalf."

Looking pointedly into those coals shooting blood orange sparks at him, the young man did not waver for a moment. "Exactly, you're not a damsel in distress, and you don't need someone doing every little thing for you just because it's more convenient that way. You're going to need a lot of help, and you deserve the dignity to do whatever you can for yourself. It does more harm than good anyway because it keeps you from getting use to doing those things for yourself."

After a moment of staring blankly into a darkness that he knew met Ichigo's determined honey eyes, the nobleman addressed Fujita-san, not moving his gaze. "Fujita-san, please prepare Kurosaki Ichigo a room, he'll be a guest here until further notice, and leave us swiftly."

Throwing a concerned look between the young man and her lord, Fujita bowed and said, "Very well, sir. Right away," before turning to take her leave.

Hearing the door shut behind him, Ichigo immediately condoned his actions. "Look Byakuya, you can get mad, but I still won-" only to cut himself off when he noticed that almost deadly blood orange had mellowed once more into a sunny soft orange.

Taking more notice in his hand's grasp on his cup, Byakuya spoke shortly, "Thank you."

"Excuse me?" Ichigo baffled.

Before pressing his cup to his lips, Byakuya rebuked, "Clean out your ears, boy. I do not make it a habit of repeating myself."

A wide grin seemed to break the confines of Ichigo's face as he chuckled heartily. "I'll make a note of that, Byakuya."

For a while, Ichigo stayed and the two embarked in some frivolous yet amiably lighter chatter before Ichigo looked towards the clock and realized just how long he'd prolonged his visit.

When he finally emerged from Byakuya's quarters, he was met with a slap to the head. "Ow, what the hell, you she demon?!" he groaned, rubbing his head and walking right past a scowling Rukia.

"Um, I was waiting on you, moron. You took forever!" Rukia bellowed, hand on hip while following at the man's side.

"Geze, I got caught up," Ichigo excused. "Besides you live here, right? You didn't exactly have to wait around."

Rukia sighed in annoyance. "We're supposed to go help out with some construction, or have you already forgot? Did I smack it out of you?"

"Oh," Ichigo blinked a few times as the memory came back, "well it's not like we still can't go. I'm sure there's plenty of building to go around," he mocked aloofly while Rukia muttered insults under her breath.

"Well, I was going to ask how it went," Rukia noted, "but if your lighthearted reiatsu means anything, I'd judge it went well."

Giving her an aslant glare, Ichigo observed, "You don't seem surprised."

"Should I be?" she cocked an eyebrow in question.

Shrugging a shoulder, Ichigo admitted, "I'm still getting use to it. I mean, I guess I never expected your brother to be so friendly with me."

"Nii-sama is many things, most of which can't be viewed from the surface," Rukia clarified. "Anyway, he cares about honor and politeness. After everything you did in the war, of course he'll let you stay. It would be against his code of ethics to deny you."

For whatever reason, Ichigo found himself glowering at that. "So it's just because of what happened in the war then," he declared, howling as another hand made contact with his head. "God damnit, woman. What was that for?!"

"For being so dense," she rolled her eyes and shook her head in disappointment. "I guess I can't blame you for not recognizing it," she sighed.

"Recognizing what?" Ichigo wondered, scowl firmly in place.

"Nii-sama isn't one to say things point blank, but ever since you stopped my execution, he's shown obvious respect for you. You just had to be paying attention." Looking at Ichigo's suspect glare, she recalled, "After everything was said and done, he admitted to me that the law was less than perfect, which is a _big_ thing coming from him. You made him realize that somethings are worth fighting, even if it's against the name of his clan, changed his perspective. When Renji and I went to Hueco Mundo, he provided the cloaks to help us escape. When you were without your powers, he volunteered to be one of the soul reapers looking out for you. He didn't think twice when asked to put some of his power into that sword that helped you get your powers back." Pondering in a silent moment, she blurted, "Oh, and when he fought that Book of End, fullbringer guy, we all had to appear in front of the Sōtaichō for a full report, and he admitted to being affected by that guy's sword. When he was asked how he was able to get past the guy's powers, he said," putting on her best Byakuya impression, "it was simple, I knew Tsukishima was an enemy of Kurosaki Ichigo's and acted as such." She gave a short nostalgic laugh. "I think if he understood what he was admitting to, he would have chosen his words differently, but Nii-sama can be dense too at times." Taking note of Ichigo's profoundly shocked glare, Rukia concluded, "So yeah, you earned some brownie points. At least enough to grant you a guest room."

Suspended in a moment of befuddlement, Ichigo wondered how he overlooked all that. All this time, while he barely payed the man attention, the nobleman was giving so much thought to Ichigo. It took him back to the battleground where Ichigo stood in front of an expiring Byakuya bestowing his last pleas. At the time, Ichigo gave little thought to it, but now that he really sat on it, it was pretty remarkable. Out of all the people Byakuya could have passed his last words along too, he chose Ichigo. He could have easily asked Ichigo to give his words to someone else, like Rukia and Renji, maybe another powerful captain. In that moment, the most important thing to Byakuya was the protection of his world and the people he loved. With the weight of all of his important things, he dropped his pride and asked Ichigo of all people to carry that baggage. More than anyone else, Byakuya _trusted_ Ichigo with those things. the man who once arrogantly proclaimed his superiority and declared Ichigo had no place among the shinigami. That amount of reverence coming from such an accomplished captain and prideful man left Ichigo feeling wonderfully honored.

"I never realized," Ichigo rasped.

"Yeah, well, like I said, Nii-sama's not really vocal about these things," Rukia reiterated. "He felt gratitude towards you, and he wanted to show it, but it didn't matter if you knew it or not, because that's not what matters to him. He doesn't care about acknowledgment, it's just the type of man he is." The smile on her face faded into a small, wistful frown, "If Renji were here, he'd tell you the same thing."

A matching frown came over Ichigo's face, yet he quickly tried to push the melancholy away. Placing a hand on Rukia's shoulder, Ichigo insisted, "I'll take your word for it. Come on, let's go ahead and find somewhere to help out."

 **xXx**

To say Byakuya had been taken by surprise by the presence of Ichigo would be a fair assertion. He had been sure that when and if Ichigo sought him out again, he'd have already retired into isolation. It was that reason he dropped the veneer of which he held onto so tightly and opened up to Ichigo in ways he dared not with any others.

Having Ichigo see him after becoming privy to even an iota of Byakuya's true colors, peeled of his proper noble attire, he felt so naked, painfully on display for the man.

Seeing as he could not put on his kenseikan himself, he felt unworthy of wearing the bearings of his ennoblement. More so, while the remaining captains were hustling, running themselves bone ragged, Byakuya could do little that did not include the help of an attendant. Most certainly, he could do only a modicum of what was needed from him.

He wiggled and stretched his gloveless digits, absorbing the strange sensation of his hand's bareness. Forever they'd feel like this, empty and naked. He clenched them, trying to recall the rush of his breathtaking power that flowed through his palms and out his fingertips, relish in the memories hidden within the muscles and tendons. So beautiful, he held pride in his abilities and the manner of which he contorted a deathly flock of nature's raw elegance. Now he could not yield his pride without possibly hurting those around him.

Then he ran his sensitive blades through the feathery locks of opulent raven strands, using his fingers to brush through the tresses until he nimbly twisted the end of the longest, shoulder length piece between his thumb and pointer. He took note of how airy his hair felt without the hairpieces, caressing the layers as if in apology.

Lastly, he stroked the protruding bones of his collar area with the most velvet of contact, tickling the dip briefly as if recalling and engraving the feeling of his ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu resting there. Silently, he spoke his 'I'll miss you's.'

Without these items, including his captain's haori, he felt so lost, as if he was a child wandering aimlessly, waiting for instruction. Without them, what was he? He had no claim to these adornments and no right to wear them. His inability to act as leader of his squad and house made him nothing but a mare on his adherents.

Despite all of this, his shame and self loathing, the nobleman found himself troubled to keep a glint of a smile from forming on his face.

Even in his solitude, he encumbered the gesture. It do him no good grinning foolishly over Kurosaki Ichigo. Admittedly, he enjoyed the man's company, and found himself reinvigorated by the young man's vicinity. Though he hadn't meant to, he lowered his defenses slightly and let the other man close, closer than anyone else would get without freezing from his icy tundra of a disposition.

He wondered, if he had not been so bare with the other, would Ichigo had attempted this type a friendship. Probably not, but then again, it always seemed as if Byakuya was made of glass when it came to Ichigo. As if the young man just saw through his strident glare and his draconian speech more than anyone. More than anyone, he tried to understand.

None the less, it was bothersome, because Byakuya didn't want to miss anyone more than he had too already, and he found this companionship more pleasant than he should. Why torture himself with such silly things? Allowing the starkness of his habitués to shine with Ichigo and the lightness of sharing those small things were addictive in their nature, and he found himself not so easily wanting to give them away. Yet Kuchiki Byakuya was not suppose to desire things for himself, but only for his clan.

How bizarre it was that while Ichigo seeing Bakuya like that, at first, made him feel mortified, he eventually felt truly serene with being comprehended and treated like an equal? It was just the man Ichigo was, equipped with a boundless wealth of stubborn optimism. He didn't know better or how to see when something was hopeless, which was what made him so spectacular.

In contempt with his shock was the awareness that Ichigo had only came to ask a favor of him, a completely reasonable favor, but a favor none the less. Yet, the young man stayed and talked with him for quite a while, something he didn't have to do.

Still Byakuya was sure this was just the person Ichigo was. In his distress, the young man likely needed something or someone the cling mentally to, someone to help, and Byakuya gave him that distraction. Ichigo had claimed his motives were care, and in a way, Byakuya was sure they were, but Ichigo just couldn't help to care for everyone on some level. Surely he wouldn't be affected by Byakuya departure past a surface level. Byakuya didn't believe many would, but to the nobleman's dismay, that thought crashed over him with a wave of loneliness.

Would anyone besides Rukia miss him at all? No. Even the closest thing he had to a friend had been taken by the war, and Byakuya knew undeniably, that without his vision, he was meaningless to everyone around him. This was his comeuppance for the years of pushing everyone away after Hisana, which he never regretted and had his reasons for. It was enough that he had his powers and position to ground him, but now without those, he had nothing. Byakuya was nothing.

Feeling pathetic writhing in his self pity, Byakuya shook himself from the depreciating thoughts. Right as he went to call Fujita-san, the attendant knocked on his door. He contemplated briefly how the woman had him clocked so well before he commanded, "Enter."

She glided in with her usual dexterous aura, allowing herself to smile wordlessly at the noble as she retrieved his silverware. "That Kurosaki-san, perhaps he is not so bad," she posed.

The nobleman allowed himself the rarest of smiles in the company of his lifetime attendant. "You say this after the manner of which he reprimanded you?"

Sagged skin was tugged on by the pull of a knowing grin. "Let me give you a nugget of wisdom from a woman who has treated the Kuchiki men of this house as if they were her own sons. What a real mother wants from the associates of their children is not unquestionable authority and reverence, but an unquestionable bravado in the way one will care for and about their children." Placing the cluttered tray on the nobleman's desk, Fujita assured, "That he has, or so I believe."

Sighing, she added, "I worry for your wellbeing. I know how gracious you can be, despite how you hide it from others. So I did not want him coming in here and taking for granted that graciousness with his favors."

Thoughtfully, the nobleman looked at his folded hands and closed his eyes. "He has the best of intentions," Byakuya ensured. "In his own way, I believe he only asked this of me because he considers us..friends."

Quickly sweeping over the enclosure, sprucing disorderly stacks of papers, the woman looked over to the noble with a surprised lift of her brow. "And what about yourself, Lord Kuchiki, do you considering him a friend?"

Gazing into the dark environs of his space, as if he could pull the answer from the dearth of light, he responded, "Perhaps as much of one as a man like I could have." Jumping from one subject to another, the nobleman tasked, "I must return to my work. How many had I left?"

"Twenty or so." Looking tentatively to the young man, she asked, "Would you like help making your way to your desk, or woul-"

Already making his way to his feet, wobbly so, Byakuya held out a dismissive hand. "Kurosaki Ichigo was right, I must keep my dignity in whichever way I can." Remembering the layout of his office, Byakuya mentally drew a path in his head. Over all, he stumbled and clumsily made his way one step at a time, however he made it there. These were little victories.

Moving over beside the man, she laid the prearranged papers in front of the noble. "I understand, Lord Kuchiki. It's the mother in me. I'll calm my worrisome hands. Though I do think you'd benefit from a walking stick of sorts, that way you can walk around more freely."

He nodded. "You are probably right. Who is next?"

Clearing her throat from any audible anguish, Fujita looked at a clipboard before placing a prepared piece of parchment to the wood, saying, "Sado Amaya, your tenth seat." Each letter of condolence began with the same line, 'Dear, (insert parent's/family's name here)'. In this manner, it was easy to keep up with which members he'd already written a letter for.

Sixty three squad members of the sixth division in all had fallen, and since many shinigamis came from aristocratic families, they were borned souls and had parents and spouses that needed to know about their loved one's deaths. Forty had already been prepared, each completely unique besides the first line. After such a failure to his squad, Byakuya wouldn't lamante those loses with vague generic statements and stamped signatures. Perhaps he was known for his coldness, but in this aspect, Byakuya had no impassiveness to give. He would not be phlegmatic while honoring the lives of his subordinates.

"It is with my deepest mourning that I must inform you that your daughter, Sado Amaya," he spoke, taking pauses to let Fujita keep up, "sacrificed her life for the sake of our worlds. Sado-san had great potential, an earnest devotion to betterment, a positive disposition, and a mastery of kido that surpassed higher seated officers. There are few words to convey my gratitude towards her service and the remorse I feel towards being unable to protect her in the passing war. The only solace I can give for her death is the confirmation that, when she expired, it was with thoughts of protecting her world and loved ones, and that it was not in vain."

With help from Fujita, her hand over his, he gripped the quell rod and steadied his hand. Shaking, he dipped his pen, placed his signature, placed the writing utensil on the table, and sighed. "Alright, next."

 **xXx**

Among the confines of the fourth division, the halls were now beginning to dwindled. It seemed less like a house of horrors, yet the tortured energy lingered like the stench of cigarette smoke. It had seeped into the walls, and they were now echoing the misery that could no longer be seen, but only felt.

Rukia and Ichigo both had spent a considerable amount of time on rebuilding, and afterwards, there were people they both wanted to visit in the healing center. While Rukia visited with one of her squad members, Ichigo walked through the halls, alone with his bustling, constantly intertwined thoughts.

Compared to the cacophony of screams and wails, the silence almost felt eerily disconcerting, leaving the young man restless. As he passed by a stairwell, that stillness was disrupted by soft, familiar whimpers.

Ichigo opened to door to see Orihime sitting on the stairs, her body quivering against steel railings. Wearing the same wrinkled shihakushō she'd been healing in yesterday, the girl looked ghastly ashen. Auburn hair was frayed from the loose bun she wore. Her lips were cracked and dehydrated and shadows of unsightly grey darkened her face. More worrisome, though Ichigo was no master at sensing reiatsu, Orihime's was dangerously low.

Urgently, Ichigo knelt beside her and gave her shoulder a firm shake. "Inoue, are you okay?" he asked.

Her inert limbs jolted slightly as she strained to open her eyes. The whites were veiny red, barely visable through her slitted eyelids. It was obvious the girl was spent well past her physical and mental limits. A spark of recognition caused the healer to gape to her maximum capacity as a look of dewy shame befell on the man. "Kurosaki-kun?" she rasped weakly, her voice sticky and filled with a vibrant heartache.

"Inoue, what have you done to yourself?" Ichigo groaned out, taking in the woman's tenuous state with concern.

Fresh trails of brimmy tears painted the healers lifeless cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Kurosaki-kun. I'm...so sorry I couldn't save... Renji," she sobbed silently, to exhausted to do much other than let the tears fall.

Ichigo's face twisted painfully as he locked his jaw, containing the raging anger that was trying to escape with any opportunity it got. "Hey, don't say that," he pleaded, wrapping his arms around the girl. "Were going to get you some help, okay?" Lifting the girl up, her head slung against his chest in exhaustion.

"There were so many... people I was unable…. to bring back. Please," she murmured, "don't hate me."

Ichigo shushed her nonsensical and unwarranted pleads for forgiveness as he pushed through the door. If anyone should be apologizing, he should apologize to her. He hadn't even thought to check on her, and she was right there in the quincy kings chambers with him, fighting against the monster.

"I need a healer," Ichigo yelled, swiveling his head back and forth in hopes to catch a glimpse of someone.

Hearing his imploring, Isane stepped around the corner, took one look at the pair, and instructed, "Come with me."

Following behind her, Ichigo asked, "How could you let her get like this?"

Isane gave him a warning glare that could surpass her successor. "I've tried to make her sleep on multiple occasions," she explained, quickening her steps. She refused up until the last time, but when I came to her room to perform a sleep kido, she had already left." She tutted, "Went to heal more, no doubt." Entering into a barren room, Isane told Ichigo to lay her on the bed. "She hasn't been able to sleep. Perhaps it didn't seem so earlier, but she was rather affected by her inability to save all those affected by condensed reishi poisoning." Looking upwardly to the man, she explained, "I believe she's having some form of PTSD, with being in the thick of battle and her inability to heal her friends. Her anxiety is keeping her from sleeping and she's well past her limits."

Clenching his jaw until it wanted to crack under the pressure, Ichigo looked down at the girl's barely aware eyes floating up to him. "Inoue.."

Softly, Isane said, "She is just a human and needs some time. However, once she's home and things return to normal, I believe she will be fine. I'm going to perform a sleep kido, and after she drifts off, I'm going to replenish her reiatsu."

Nodding in understanding, Ichigo grasped her hand tenderly. With all of her strength, she squeezed his fingers in hers. "I'm sorry...I worried you..Kurosaki-kun. I just wanted to heal..as many people that I could," she moaned.

"Don't worry about me," he chided, stiffening slightly. "Worry about getting some sleep."

"Will you..stay..until the kido takes?" she requested

Nodding, Ichigo said, "Yeah, of course."

"I couldn't..help you like.. I wanted," she explained feebly, "and the one thing...I can do..I failed at that too." Her eyes pooled with tears as she begged, "Please..forgive me.."

Shaking his head frantically, Ichigo felt the prickle of tears forcing their way out. With everything he had, he fought against their tepid permeation. "No. None of this is your fault, so don't say that."

Looking up to the man with a weak knowing smile, she said, "It's not yours either."

A dry lump in his throat doubled and seemed to vibrate back and forward like an accordion. He said nothing, only forcing a smile in return as he tightened the lock on their hands. Frowning a bit, the healer asked, "Why..do we..always expect more from..ourselves..than others? Our advice always... includes.. everyone but.. ourselves…"

Fingers going slack and eyes fluttering in relaxation, Ichigo could tell the girl was winding down into sleep. "I don't know, Inoue," he whispered, "That's a good question. Maybe I'll have an answer when you wake up."

With her chest now falling in fewer, yet deeper breaths, Ichigo, with a grime expression, looked up to the healer standing across from him. "I'll be back to check on her," he said through gritted teeth. Not waiting for a response, Ichigo ran from the room in search of some fresh air and some composure. He couldn't, wouldn't, lose it.

 **xXx**

Despite his often unmoved face, a whole spectrum of emotions lived within the Kuchiki lord. From a young age, he was taught to recognize these emotions and then tame them. These melancholy requiems of his heart were for his ears alone. Even happiness, it was to be stifled. Kuchiki's were control, unyielding stone edifices of power and authority whom would never be victimized by something as petulant as emotions.

However, even with a self discipline stymie as the wall of jericho, holding it all within became so daunting at times. When the tempest of emotions raged against him, eroding his walls with the power of a thousands tsunamis, it seemed all but impossible to hold every single drop of his inner storm at bay.

In his study, Byakuya sat feeling utterly drained from writing sixty plus emotionally taxing letters without allowing so much as a hint of sorrow surface on his face. He simply focused on his breathing, the push and pull of his lungs the only noise that comprised the room. Thinking only of those methodical breaths, he found the single minded simplicity bringing him composer, as if the oxygen lulled the sea within.

The nobleman was pulled from his soothing exercise by a knock on his chamber door. "Enter," he commanded.

"Lord Kuchiki," Fujita greeted, bowing respectfully. "A member of your division was just here. He delivered something that was left in your division office."

Hearing the light creak of metal hinges and gentle flutters slicing the air, Byakuya questioned, "It is a Jigokuchō?"

"Yes, my lord." Moving towards the desk, she added carefully, "There also seems to be a green head band in the cage."

Trying not to appear so urgent, the nobleman held a firm face. "Please set it in front of me and take your leave, Fujita-san."

Loafing her tongue from any queries of distress, she gingerly placed down the gilded cage with the latch facing her lord before silently taking her leave.

With steady hand, Byakuya reached out towards the clinched bars. His approaching touch tremord at the gut wrenching jolt he felt as an unmistakable reiryoku intermingled with his own. He anchored himself with breathing and castigated himself for his puerile hesitation.

Finger pads met the cold sting of metal, and he glided them down in search for the lock, an uncontrollable tightening pressure throttling his chest cavity with every slithering movement. At last, he found the latch and opened it readily. Sliding his fingers along the bottom, right by the entrance, he felt a wrinkled clump of fabric. Hooking his fingers through, he suppressed a whimper at the ever present reiryoku of Renji hitting him like the weight of a bolder atomizing his trachea. Of course, it was not the strength of the energy that seemed to choke him, but the feelings they imbued.

Running the fabric through his fingers, it felt as if his old subordinate was standing right in front of him, patiently awaiting orders. It was as if, at any moment, the man would do something so endearingly playful yet horribly aggravating. Truthfully, the nobleman was never as bothered as he acted. In fact, he found himself dreadfully lonely without the silly prattle of his once second in command.

Even just a hint of that feral and bold energy sparked memories in the nobleman. During his fight with Gerard Valkyrie, he told Renji and Rukia both to go assist Ichigo, which they complied with. He didn't expect Renji to return, nor had he wanted him too. None the less, Byakuya admittedly needed his help in defeating the beast, seeing as the vizards, Kenpachi, and Toshiro were all out of commission. Why did he return? More so, why was Renji killed and he was spared, considering Byakuya was the closest to the blast? Did Renji somehow block him? It was unclear, for the last thing he remembered was a blinding bright light.

Gracefully, Byakuya held out his upturned pointer finger, allowing the ebony creature to perch itself. Holding his hand out, he prompted the delivery from the butterfly, and his breath caught at the rickety voice that followed.

" _Taichou, uh.. I don't have a lot of time." The man laughed nervously, "It's funny, I've been practicing what I was going to say, but I guess there's really no preparing for these short of things. So, here it goes..four days ago Fukutaichou Sasakibe was killed and a declaration of war was made, and these Quincies are coming really soon. All the squads have been preparing how ever they can, but I can tell, this is going to be bad. Everyone can, you can feel it in the air. This is a 'just in case' kind of message. Because, I might die and..there's somethings I can't die without you knowing."_

The breath Byakuya was holding choked him painfully and his heart twisted. With every word, he fought against an explosion of flagrant emotions, but it proved difficult, as his insides felt completely charred, burnt up from the torrid confined flames of grief. 

" _When I first met you, I really hated you. Uh.." the man berated himself under his breath, "that's not what I wanted to tell you, but it's apart of it. You had taken Rukia from me, and she was like a sister to me, so it felt like you swooped in all better than me and took the only sister I ever had. I spent years trying to best you, becoming stronger because of you. For a long time, I just didn't get you, but I admired you." A smile could be heard in the man's voice as he continued, "You were virtuous, self sacrificing, powerful, you had the most beautiful zanpakuto I'd ever seen. I knew that no matter how you presented yourself, that was a true representation of your soul, and woe, it was something else. An amazing manifestation for an amazing man, I thought. After the incident with Rukia..I feel like I've gotten to know you better, and I was right. You're as great of a man as you are unreachable. It just takes someone getting really close to see it."_

 _He took a composing breath. "I know I'm rambling, but here me out. What I'm trying to say is, you're like this beautiful, prideful sakura tree. Your family, nobility, and captaincies, even your love for gardening, their your roots, your foundation. Your senpai's, Rukia, their the need them to grow, and their apart of who you are, but like rain, there not an everyday part of your life. You push them away because you fear too much will drown you. But your sun, the light you need daily that changes you and your limbs naturally grow toward, I think that was your late wife, but after she died, her sunlight slowly dimmed everyday. Now, me? I was just an admirer. I'd come and watch your beauty, talk to you, and maybe, in a small way, you enjoyed that and even grew because of that, but you see, I was never vital. That's fine. I could never expect more than the position I had at your side, but if I'm being honest, I'm a pretty greedy guy, because…"_ _he spat out resolutely, "I wanted to be your sun. Mostly, I just hated seeing you wither slowly without it."_

Every single word oxidized his fire tremendously, making that sea of flames let out a mighty roar, banging on the walls with a desperate fury. Shaking the bars, they were making his insides reverberate with a need for release. Each word pounded against his constitution, demanding for the necessity of liberation, and the nobleman's whole core shook as a result, echoing through his lonely frame. Those insuppressible flames leaked out, the tepid streams of saline heartache spewed from the most cerclean of star clusters lighting up the nobleman's eyes. As the tears flowed, each jewel like droplet alleviate the built up pressure. What a sweet catharsis it was. Pressing his forearm against his mouth, he muffled a moan of mournfulness that he couldn't care nor attempted to hold in.

 _Renji gave a dry chuckle, "You'd probably kill me if you ever heard my say this, but in a way, I think Ichigo had became your new sun. You've changed since he's came around. Subtly, but it's definitely there. I know because I'm a vigilant watcher of yours. He's kind've everyone's though, right? He's changed everyone a little bit since he came around, but few as much as you. I would never tell that cocky punk that, but it's true, heh?" Sighing, Renji concluded, "Anyway, I need to wrap this up. If I don't, you'll come looking for me soon, and I won't have to worry about dying because you'll get me first."_

Byakuya let out a bittersweet chuckle at his subordinates words, all of his emotions commingling into one anarchic uproar. Malaise, anger, wistfulness, regret, it was all present.

" _If I don't make it, I want you to find someone else to add heat back to your sun, because you deserve to fucking flourish, tachiou," he exalted, tears apparent in his voice. "If I can, I'll protect you in this war. I know you don't need it, but If it comes down to it, I hope that's the way I go out. If not, maybe I'll live and one day have the guts to tell you in this all in person. Heh, probably not, but maybe. Anyway.. I love you, like, I'm punch drunk, write corny poems, in love with you. I just wanted you to know that. Good Bye, Byakuya."_

As the voice of Renji faded out, Byakuya sat amongst the rapturous pain of its finality. The confession and his moxie of emotions seemed to finally settle into the nobleman's skin, and the silence that followed Renji's last words seemed just a bit lonelier, a bit more forceful in its existence.

He neither halted nor compelled the tears, but only allowed them to flow continuously, stinging his unmoved, calmed features. Byakuya merely stared blankly, allowing his breathing to return to its normal pacing, and mutely, he granted the tears free reign to run dry, drain him of this toxicity while simultaneously remedying his broken soul.

Perhaps it was weak of him, but the tears made him feel stronger, as if he'd be able to face the world without the possibility of boiling over.

Mirroring his late wife's last words, Byakuya said, "I'm sorry I could not return your love, Renji."

The lessons of his grandfather were like a broken record playing in his head. The mantra of control and self discipline spinning violently through the man.

Again, if only to the memory of his loved ones lost, Byakuya said, "I'm sorry I could never be as strong as you, ojiisan. However, I needed this. By now, you should be use to my disappointing you."

Something inside the man could not rest, he felt fidgety for action of some sort. Swimming alone in this darkness, he needed to do something, some gesture of any type of significance to show the importance of the lives lost. Perhaps, something that could act as closure for the death of his second in command and friend. At the moment, he needed to not feel as useless as he was.

"Senbonzakura," Byakuya said out out loud, "manifest. I need your assistance with something.

' _Yes, master. Right away.'_

 **xXx**

 **LustfulAvarices : Thank you for the review! I know, I suck. :( I hope my reasoning made sense though and that you're still able to enjoy this story for what it is.**

 **Tifanny91: Thank you for such a nice comment. It really made me smile. I'm a CNA, so I've worked with people of varying disabilities. Always, I find it so sad when people slowly start losing parts of who they are because of it. As a CNA, we're stressed about helping people stay as true to themselves as possible and keeping as much of their dignity and freedom as they can, so I feel as if I have an understanding for people with different disabilities and debilitating illness. One of the reason I wanted to write about a blind Byakuya is because, first off, I find him to be emotionally deep despite how little emotion he shows. Just from his back story alone, it's easy to tell that he's more than meets the eye. However, he's all about self sacrifice and seems to only put his purpose into his position and his ability to protect the people he cares for. I also know he's probably the most prideful character out of the whole cast. So I knew being unable to do those things in the manner of which he use to would send him into a world pool of self loathing. I'm excited to explore his journey through this and the process of which he changes his mindset. I'm glad you can see the similarities between Byakuya and Ichigo. I've always felt like they have more in common than they realize and this fic really pushes that point. In fact, it's those similarities that draw them together. Ichigo has his fair share of healing to do also, and that will too be fully explored.**

 **Haikha: Ah, you flatter me. Thank you for your review, it's mucho appreciated.**

 **phoenix220: Thanks love! I wanted Ichigo to mature form the war, but of course, he still needs to mature more, which Byakuya will help with. In cannon, about 75% of soul reapers have died. So truthfully I'm not exaggerating the losses. I hope my explanation up above gave some understand to why I killed off Renji.**

 **Dust-of-Moon: Thank you for the review! The support is always appreciated. I'm actually writing quite a few Byaichi fics, if you're interested in checking those out. Their mostly A.U's though.**

 **ctofi1: Thank you for checking out my story! I'm glad your interested and I tried not to make you guys wait so long for an update this time around. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys! First off, thanks for all the reviews. Theres a pretty apparent correlation between the story I invest most of my time into and which one gets the most feedback despite my personal interest. (I like all of my stories, but this one is definitely not my favorite. I'm more of an A.U chick myself.)

I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance for any grammatical mistakes. I'm sure there will be more than a few. I'm going camping for two weeks and I'll probably be hard pressed to write, let alone post, so I wanted to post a chapter for each of my three main stories I'm writing, and I only proofread this _once_ (Yikes.) Hopefully, theres nothing glaring, but if there is, I'll change it whenever I can.

This chapter was really fun to write. It's super dialogue heavy, as you'll find most of my chapters will be in this story. I also have the zanpakuto's in this chapter, which was really fun. I find Ichigo is often depicted as this wonder boy with zero faults in other fictions I read, but even in the manga, he's pretty imperfect. I enjoyed pointing out those imperfections in this chapter.

A little side note, I usually post lyrics with every chapter. I'm not sure if anyone even notices them, but their usually songs that rather inspired the chapter or create an ambiance for it. (When I'm not being a complete loser and wasting my life away with fan fiction, I write music. So I'm pretty inspired by lyrics.) Anyway, point being, I'm going to start posting the actually song as I do below for anyone who cares to listen or just enjoys discovering new music as I do.)

Also, I talk a little bit about how the noble clans come to be and it's inspired by a pretty well known and lovely fan fic author, Spunky0ne. Of course, I put my own twist on it.

Disclaimer: Sadness. Pure, heart wrenching sadness.

 **Song: "Pasture", by Down like Silver**

Good vibes! ~ Ashes.

 **xXx**

 **I want to lie down, my memory erased.**

 **Upon the soft ground**

 **I can feel it's warm embrace.**

 **Put me out to pasture,**

 **I don't want to live on this battlefield no more.**

 **Put me out to pasture,**

 **I don't want to live on this battlefield.**

 **-Down like Silver.**

 **xXx**

 **In the Places the Light Doesn't Touch, hope grows.**

Ichigo had aimlessly walked as far as possible from the healing center. He was vaguely aware that he was somewhere near the outskirts, as if his subconscious just knew he wanted to be alone and directed him to the least populated area.

As soon as it dawned on him that he now had a place at the Kuchiki estate he could retreat too, he overheard some approaching voices, ones he recognized as some unseated members of squad eleven.

"Iwate-san **,** Chiba-san, wait up," panted a young wiry man.

"Where's the fire, Endo-san? They giving out free sake at the healing center or something?" jested Iwate.

Shoving the exasperated shinigami in the shoulder, Chiba poised brusquely, "Or maybe Arai-san challenged him to a duel again, and he's running like the little pansy he is."

"Will you two idiots shut it!" Endo snarled, now finding his breath once more. "Anyway, I was out near the woods of Sokyoku Hill training, ya know?"

"Training?" Iwate mocked, a shit eating grin on his mug, "now that is a shocker!"

Putting on fraudulent panic, Chiba graped Endo by the fabric of his shihakushōand shook him furiously. "Training? There's no way your Endo-san! What have you done with our friend?" he barked, shaking him a few more times before pushing Endo off and bellowing with laughter, Iwate following in suit.

At this point, the group and Ichigo were passing by each other on their paths. Luckily, the group seem to enthralled with their antics to give notice to the notorious savior. To Ichigo, there word were a little more than headache inducing and their meaning barely filtered into his scope of awareness. He could have implicated a quick flash step, but he felt to apathetic to exert himself. It was of no matter, the three would be out of earshot soon enough.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Endo groaned, situating his now disheveled uniform. "I guess I just won't tell you then."

"Oh, don't be like that. We were just poking fun," prodded Chiba.

Feeling eager, it took little goading to prompt his story. "Alright, alright, well I was training out by the woods, and you'll never believe who I saw out there wearing no haori, no fancy hairpiece, down on his dainty little hands and feet gardening."

The vague, yet memorable description just barely meeting Ichigo's ears piqued his interest, making him halt his foot's movements and turn his head just slightly over his shoulder.

"Who?" the other two asked in unison.

"Tachiou Kuchiki, that's who," Endo declared proudly. "Well," he added slyly, "he ain't much of a Tachiou anymore."

"I heard there taking his position away from him," Chiba speculated. "Tachiuo Kenpachi's going to be steamed, I know he loved fighting Kuchiki!"

"Gardening?" Iwate ridiculed, "With his own two hands? How the mighty has fallen!"

"Serves him right, if you ask me." Endo scoffed. "All ways acting so superior with his laws and rules. Baka. Without his vision, I bet he could get bested by an unseated officer. It's what he would deserve, arrogant bastard."

Perking an eyebrow with devious intent, Iwate asked, "What do you say guys, why don't we go show dear old Tachiou Kuchiki what it's like to be helpless? You know what they say, the mightier they are, the harder they fall."

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea guys. We should just leave the poor gu-," Chiba's words were cut of by a ominously hostile pressure rushing the three, dropping the group to their knees in convulsions immediately. The could barely stand it, desperately clawing at their throats as their mouths floundered for the few breaths they could manage.

"Sorry," Ichigo remarked derisively, walking casually over towards the group, "I'm really bad at controlling my reitsue, so when I get angry, there's little I can do to hold it back." Scowling with deadly intent, Ichigo took deliberately slow steps towards the three writhing around, their eyes pleading for release. as their mouths floundered for the few breaths they could manage

"Sorry," Ichigo remarked derisively, walking casually over towards the group. "I'm really bad at controlling my reiatsu, so when I get angry, there's little I can do to hold it back." Scowling with deadly intent, Ichigo took deliberately slow steps towards the three writhing around, their eyes pleading for release. He scoffed at their pathetic state, feeling disgusted. Not because something as trivial as power difference, but because of their despicably thoughtless comments and animus towards Byakuya. Taking advantage of someone disability was revolting in its lack of virtue and showed a rotten spirit, and making such boldly disparaging statements about Byakuya - a war hero - showed their complete lack of appreciation for how the war really affected people.

It almost stunned him that members of the gotei could be making such callous statements. Had they not lost people too, had they not been swept by the wave of somber mourning that had rolled over the entirety of the gotei? This was a time to be coming together in solidarity, not prodding at everyone's already strained vulnerabilities.

"Don't worry, I ain't going to kill you punks. It would be to much trouble on me," he assured, "and unlike you, I have a fucking moral compass." Smirking in his aloof way, Ichigo poised, "You're lucky though, I'm doing you a favor, really, because sight or no sight, Byakuya could take you all out with the flick of his wrist." Outrage electrified the air and poured out of every pour of the shinigami as he looked on with disgust. "How dare you? Byakuya gave up his vision fighting with everything he had to help save this world. He did it for all the people who were to weak to do it themselves, including you. But hey? Next time the worlds in peril danger, why don't you three hot shots take that on?" Scoffing, Ichigo said, "Just be happy I don't tell your tachiou about this, he'd probably make you backup your words with actions and take on Byakuya, and trust me, it wouldn't go in your favor."

After that, before he did actually kill someone inadvertently, Ichigo flash steped away, releasing the three from his pressure.

Before his mind even registered where he was going, Ichigo's body made up his mind for him. Almost instinctually, Ichigo headed towards Sokyoku Hill. Part of him felt necessitated to check on the nobleman, though he was fully aware the capable man did not need his solicitude. None the less, those invisible tethers pulled on him without question.

Another part of him, one he wasn't to sure of, also just wanted to be in the presence of the other. While usually, Ichigo sought solitude while dealing with inner struggles, he found the other man's company comforting, albeit unintentionally so. For whatever reason, Byakuya just understood, and his companionship felt breezy and unforced. Byakuya didn't bellgard him with questions on how he defeated the quincy king. He didn't pester him about being open about his feelings nor did he treat Ichigo as if he should be a giddy victor. He didn't pressure him into staying with the gotei like many had. He just accepted and understood Ichigo, because they had shared in such an intimate catastrophe, and ironically enough, they both coped with the aftermath in similar ways. Without words, with Byakuya, Ichigo felt 'got' in ways he didn't know how to explain.

Fortunately, Ichigo was never one to question his own impulses all too much and just went with it, not jaundicing that connection they had with overthinking.

'You sure showed them punks, King!'

"You're complimenting me, what do you want, Zangetsu?" Ever since his shinigami/hollow side merged with his quincy side, and he found out that shiro actually was Zangetsu and Old Man Zangetsu was actually a manifestation of his quincy powers, his sword spirit had became considerably more docile. But compliments? Ichigo knew better.

'Ah, come on, king! You insult me, I just wanted to cheer ya' on."

"Sure," Ichigo snorted sardonically.

'And maybe you could let me manifest for a minute, stretch my legs."

Ichigo smirked at Zangetsu actually asking for such a privilege instead of threatening to take him over like before. The respect that had bridged between them was paramount. "Oh, what? You can't do it without my allowance?" Ichigo poked fun.

'Now don't think I won't still kick your smart ass, King. I'm trying to be nice here, geze. Met a guy half way, why dontcha. IT FUCKING STORMING LIKE CRAZY IN HERE!'

"I'm about to go see Byakuya," Ichigo reminded. "I don't know if I should have you out like that while he's around."

'Why not?! I'm your zanpakuto spirit, I just happen to have a little bit of hollow in the mix. It's not like they didn't just have a bunch of visards as taichou.'

As much as it killed him to admit it, his sword spirit was correct. Also, while hollows were natural enemies of quincies, shinigami's had nothing inherently against them, and had became much more accepting after the incident with Aizen became exposed. He'd yet to really explain his merging and the whole story behind his swords to Byakuya, however now was as good a time as any, he supposed.

"Fine, but if you start acting weird, YOU'RE GOING BACK."

Suddenly, a manifested all white copycat version of himself begane flash stepping beside him. "Give me some credit, will you, King?" the spirit bellowed. "And what do you mean weird!? When am I ever weird?"

"Everything you do is weird!" Ichigo spat.

"Yeah, well I'm YOUR spirit, so what does that say about you, huh?"

The two continued with this back and forth until they came to a halt at the wooded circumference of the mountainous overlook, the peculiar yet equally as enchanting sight confirming the three men's words.

Knelt down, the nobleman's hands were labored with soft mounds of cool and lightly moist dirt cupped in his palms. His brow netted in concentration, the raven seemed to be lost to his surroundings, his whole world existing within the sensation of the grain traced grooves of his grasp.

Ichigo too became lost to the trance inducing sight, pulled on by the boldness of Byakuya's ethereal aura. For passing moments, hidden away by the foliage, Ichigo studied his face that was being lavished by rays of light, making the splendid mosaic of prominent and soft features twinkle.

Pulling Ichigo from his reverie, Zangetsu poised, "He's a beauty, ain't he, King?"

With his brow creased thoughtfully and his eye's sharpened in the direction of the young nobleman, Ichigo confirmed, "Yeah, he is."

Byakuya was akin to a vibrantly radiant sakura, one couldn't help but stop and pay attention to him. Only Ichigo had never noticed before. It was similar to a person walking to work day after day, always under the loom of a whimsical wisteria tree, always too engrossed in their inner world to take notice. But one day, a petal fell and tickled their face, and finally, they looked up, halted by the magnificent sight that had been there all along, but they were to distracted to notice.

It wasn't attraction so much as it was admiration. Ichigo could notice and admire beautiful things, he had just always been too preoccupied to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Too busy saving the world to ever enjoy it. Similarly, he knew Rukia was beautiful, Inoue too, but he never _really_ thought about it. No. It was just a fact that sat idly in the back of his all too often absorbed thoughts.

Somehow, Byakuya had finally made him stop and take notice.

"Yo, Byakuya," Ichigo greeted, finally stepping out from his shaded cover.

Stopping his movements and marginally turning his head, Byakuya asked, "Are you in need of something, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"Uh, no," Ichigo chuckled dryly, "I was just.. Seeing what you were up too." _'Why does he always ask me that? It's like he only thinks I'd want to see him if I needed something from him.'_

There was a short silence on Byakuya's parts and it was confused in it's nature. Finally, he asked, "How did you find me?" before continuing with his work.

Taking a few elongated steps, Ichigo came to stand beside the man, Zangetsu observing a few feet behind him. Quickly, he fibbed, "Ah, I sensed you."

"Hm," Byakuya humed knowingly, "you are as bad at lying as you are at sensing reiatsu."

Scowling lightheartedly, Ichigo jested, "Hey, I'm not _that_ bad at lying."

Turning his head upwards, Byakuya looked slightly past Ichigo, but the affronted way his face creased told Ichigo he demanded the truth.

"Um, well," the blond huffed, "I overheard some punks saying they saw you here."

Specks mutated into a deep violet that intensely burnished his eye's. They were as stunning as the hues of purple that would fuse with shade of coral during a sunset and as intoxicatingly sweet as the most ambrosial plum sangria. Busying his hands and hiding his agitation, Byakuya said, "Ah, I must be quite the spectacle."

Once again captured by the bewitchery of those eyes, without even realizing it, Ichigo rasped, "Yeah, you really are." He blushed at the way his words might've been construed as Byakuya's eyes fluctuated to that curious green and an eyebrow perked in question. Before he could amend his blunder, Byakuya stated, "There's someone here with you. Their reiatsu feels similar to your own, only with a slight deviation. Your zanpakuto spirit is manifested, yes?"

"Yeah," Ichigo confirmed with a nod, gauging that Zangetsu had been oddly quiet throughout this whole ordeal.

"And which Zangetsu is it," he asked, "Your shinigami side or your quincy side?"

Gaping slightly at that, Ichigo baffled, "You knew about my two spirits?"

Placing a seed in the ground, Byakuya patted down a layer of dirt before smoothing it over. "The only thing I know for certain is, during your time in the Soul Palace, you fully actualized your powers by understanding you have both a shinigami and quincy side, and that by doing so, you obtained two swords." The nobleman paused thoughtfully before adding, "There has been much gossip flying around, but I do not entertain rumors."

"Oh yeah," Ichigo countered, feeling oddly chafed at the idea that his life was the center of speculation amongst his fellow shinigami, "and what about these rumors?"

"Simply that the spirit you considered your hollow was actually your zanpaktou," he explained, "and that he existed as a fusion of hollow and shinigami."

Grimacing, Ichigo huffed, "Damn, word really does gets around quick here."

"This is a place where not much happens, and being our resident savior makes you quite the hot topic," Byakuya explained matter of factly. Gauging the simmering intensity of Ichigo's reiatsu and the stifling muteness, Byakuya felt compelled to reassure the man. "Do not worry, the novelty will run out soon enough, even for one as yourself." Ichigo found his scowl melting ever so slightly as Byakuya added humorously, "Though, knowing you, surely you'll find a way to shock the masses once more."

Feeling both relieved and thankful with how easily Byakuya could switch the flip on his acrimonious temperament by a simple conversation, Ichigo's comforted smile widened. "No way, after all of this, I think I'm going to be taking it easy for a while. Ya know, just have a boring, regular life."

"Do you even know the meaning of such a thing?" Byakuya huffed in amusement.

"Not really," Ichigo chuckled, "but I'm an easy teach." He paused momentarily, transitioning to a question that had been on his mind. "And to answer your question, it's shinigami Zangetsu. Why didn't you ask me about the rumors yourself?" he questioned, finding it almost peculiar that Byakuya hadn't made any comment on it.

In a manner typical to him, Byakuya folded his hands gracefully over his knees, closed his eyes, and let the zephyr wafted his silken locks from his albastar features. Such aesthetically graceful mannerisms flowed naturally for the nobel, as if his movements were a dance of their own. "If you had wanted me to know, I knew you would tell me in your own time. I understand many people have besieged you with questions, and I did not wish to add to the inspection. It is no one's business but your own."

Again, Byakuya surprised him with how well he could read and respect Ichigo's wants and boundaries. There were no words he could find to express his gratitude, though he knew none were necessary.

His heart thumped just a bit faster as a warmness shrouded his heart. Carefully, he asked "Are you scared of him? Zangetsu, I mean?"

Sniffing hautly, Byakuya chided, "Do not Insult me, Kurosaki Ichigo. I would never be frightened of a zanpakuto spirit, hollow or no hollow."

"Ha," Ichigo scoffed, smirking playfully, "I guess I forgot who I was speaking too."

"I shall let such an insult to my pride slide this once," Byakuya warned, a teasing inflection to his words as his eyes glittered with gold for a transitory moment. Sighing deeply, he add, "It seems fairly obvious that he is pacified, and if he is apart of your soul, I doubt he'd want to bring me harm."

"True," Ichigo said. "I just know how the shinigamis feel about outsiders, especially after the war."

"I'll be the first to admit that I'm reluctant to the presence of newcomers. Their unseen variables that could ultimately harm the world we work to protect." A pause. "However, any being with higher thinking capabilities is not innately bad, but they're much more a product of their environment. This explains quincy's like yourself and espada like that young girl who fought for us during the war. And as I expressed before, I had only been so adamant about your not belonging because I hold fervently to the idea that this is no life for a mere human, but as you've proven time and time again, mere human you are not."

"Careful, Byakuya. I'm might start thinking you actually like humans," Ichigo teased.

"I hold no issues with humans," Byakuya admitted. "Shinigamis have a duty to help them pass and protect our world's balance. Often we protect their world from hollow invasions. Actually.." he confessed, finding it all too natural to speak about himself with the younger man, "I find their history and traditions rather fascinating." Feeling as if he had already said too much, Byakuya stilled his tongue lest more truths started rolling off of it.

Ichigo opened his mouth to speak, but finally, without warning, Zangetsu spoke up, pushing past Ichigo. "Way to talk about a guy like he ain't here," he pouted, strutting over to Byakuya and dropping down on his knees beside the man. "I should have introduced myself anyway. Where are my manners, Moonbeam?" Zangetsu smirked.

Turning his head towards the gravelly voice that rang in his ear, Byakuya perked a brow at the odd nickname. "Being Kurosaki Ichigo's zanpakuto, I assumed you did not have any."

"Ah, cheeky," the spirit chuckled boisterously, "I like that. No wonder king's taken such a liking to you lately. Someone can finally match that smart mouth of his"

To Ichigo's utter surprise and mortification, the spirit grasped Byakuya's hand and pushed the fingertips against his bleach white cheek.

Sputtering, Ichigo reprimanded, "Zangetsu! What the hell are you doing?"

"Ah, chill," the spirit countered flippantly, still holding tightly to the nobleman's wrist, "I'm just saying hello."

"Yeah, well here in the real world most people just shake hands or don't touch at all!" Ichigo felt like a humiliated parent, wanted to declare how his child did not learn that from him.

With a roll of the eyes, the spirit Ignored Ichigo's hysterics and addressed the nobleman. "What an idiot. I'm the brains of this operation, really."

"Frightening," the Kuchiki noble deadpanned, his fingers tentatively brushing the bone frigid skin of the creature.

"I figured I know what you look like, so it's only fair if you know what I look like too," the spirit offered.

"Zangetsu, I do-" Ichigo once again went to scold the spirit, only to falter at the sight of green specks gleaming with an enthused inquisitiveness and ivory fingertips circumnavigating the edges of Zangetsu's face. With the prudent interest one explored a priceless painting, Byakuya traced from his chiseled jaw all the way to the dip of the his nose, making his way across the wrinkle of the spirits brow and ending with a gentle tussle of snow white hair. There was a zeal for learning and discovery behind each movement. Byakuya doing this so openly, or at all, was not something Ichigo thought he'd ever see.

Watching on with crimson cheeks, he felt equally flustered as he was envious of his spirits lack of boundaries. True, Ichigo was hot headed and obstinate at best, but he had some shame unlike his filterless companion. He didn't react to every little impulse, and he found himself much to bashful for something as blatant and unabashed. Much like Byakuya, he too had his walls, as he spent year maintaining his cool and detached reputation he'd been know for at school.

Though his envy did beg the question of why he coveted the touch of those fingers on his own face and the ability to act so boldly towards Byakuya. Especially since the thought never crossed his mind until he saw it right in front of him.

"How peculiar," Byakuya marveled just over a whisper, "you look very similar to Kurosaki."

"Only much sexier," Zangetsu jested smugly.

"Yeah, well, that's where the similarities end," Ichigo scoffed.

Resigning the touch and laying his flattened hand against his knee once more, Byakuya bit back a smirk and speculated, "That I'm not sure of. You both seem rather audacious and impedent."

"Now who's insulting who? Tch," Ichigo asked and smacked his gum.

Unable to help himself, Byakuya taunted, "And you both seem to have the childish tendency of pouting."

Whatever snippy Kurosaki comeback Ichigo had got interrupted by the sudden appearance of Senbonzakura. "Master, I finished the other s-". The samurai cut himself off at this sight, looking back and forth between his master and Ichigo. Saying nothing else, the spirit walked right up to Ichigo with a conviction backing his steps.

Ichigo almost backed up instinctively, wondering if that resolute stride meant he should be concerned by the fierce looking warrior. Once standing in front of the young man, much like Zangetsu, Senbonzakura took a knee. Only, the spirit bowed his head in a show of reverence, just making Ichigo more confused. "Kurosaki-sama," his staunchly deep voice called out as he put a hand to his face and removed his mask.

It was not only the title that bewildered the young man, but the surprisingly stunning face revealed from behind the concealment. Ichigo couldn't help but to find the parallels to Byakuya blindingly apparent, a beautiful and prideful warrior who hides behind a mask. Yet Senbonzakura took off his mask for Ichigo of all people. It could only make him ruminate more severely on Rukia's earlier words and about how long the nobleman had been regarding him, noticing him, supporting him silently without expecting a thing.

"I have desired the chance to express to you the magnitude of my gratitude towards you." Also like Zangetsu, the spirit took his hand, only with much more tact and regality. Tenderly, he pressed his rose colored lips onto Ichigo's knuckles for a chaste kiss. "You protected my pride when I was unable. You're a true warrior in my eyes."

Flabbergasted and blushing, Ichigo stammered, "Uh, you- you don't have to thank me. It's what anyone would have done."

Smiling, the spirit rose to his feet and resituated his bearings. "And of course you are humble about your heroic actions, I'd expect no less."

Looking to Byakuya, he was surprised for about the fifth time in this one short occurrence. The specks in his eyes had turned into a saturated magenta, showcasing obvious embarrassment on the young noble's face. Ichigo was stuck between thinking it was somehow adorable and wanting to savor the moment, seeing as Byakuya had no issue with taunting him about his zanpakuto's daring behavior.

"Long time no fight, Senny," Zangetsu sprang up, throwing an unceremonious arm around the samurai. "Who knew you were so pretty underneath that mask of yours? If I had've, I would've come out of those damn skyscrapers a long time ago."

Jolting from beneath the touch, Senbonzakura admonished, "How dare you truncate my name like that, you b-" Pausing, his thoughts became sidetracked. "Wait, what is a skyscraper?"

Ichigo thought he heard the nobleman give an audible sigh, one that said, 'and here we go.'

"Uh, they're really tall buildings that they have in the living world," the spirit said, rubbing at the back of his head in a manner similar to Ichigo.

With a voice full of verve and an affinity for learning, the spirit asked, "Do you know many things about the World of The Living?"

"Yeah," the spirit smirked, "I know whatever King knows and then some. Since he's human, I know enough."

Clutching the all white manifestation by his forearms and shaking him vigorously, the sword spirit demanded, "Zangetsu-san, you must tell me all you know!"

"Sure thing, but you gotta promise to shake me like that a lot more," the sword spirit chuckled and winked.

"I do not understand your implications or your means of payment, but if this is the price, I shall shake you all you want."

"Oh sweet, pure, Sunshine, were going to have a lot of fun. Let's give our masters some privacy, and I'll tell you all you want to know."

Like an energetic child wanting permission to play with his friend, Senbonzakura implored, "Master, may I?"

With a huff, Byakuya waved him off and consented. "Very well, but be on guard. When I'm through, I'll use our mental bond to call out for you, and I'll expect you to return post haste.

"Thank you, Master!" the spirit said, taking the other spirit's hand and dragging him along. As their voices faded, Ichigo heard Senbonzakura inquire, "Now tell me more about these skyscrapers, do these buildings scrape the sky? Does this hurt the sky?"

Once the two were out of sight, Ichigo let out an uncouth groan. "My zonpakuto is a god damn henti."

"And mine talks too much."

"Oh, so that's why you let him go," Ichigo snickered, taking the place beside Byakuya that Zangetsu once preoccupied. "He's nothing like I'd expect. I mean, he seems pretty different than you."

"Really?" Byakuya countered, "and I thought Zangetsu was your mirror image."

Ichigo scoffed. "There you go, always with the compliments."

"I did not say it was a bad thing," he explained.

Putting on an unusually demure smile, Ichigo said, "Heh, I'm pretty straightforward most of the time. I guess that just means you're more than meets the eyes." Byakuya could hear the inflection of a smile in the man's charming voice and found himself wishing he could see it. Such thoughts were making him wonder if this boy was driving him to delirium. He should not want for such things and had never held such useless desires before. Then again, there was never the possibility of not seeing that smile again before.

"Anyway," Ichigo changed the subject, "What are you doing out here anyway. I mean, I know _what_ you're doing, but why, why out here?"

Byakuya seemed to directed his unseeing gaze into the unblemished ivory of his hands, as if asking them their purpose. "I'm planting red tsubaki trees around the circumference of this hill to show my solace for the lives lost in the war. Thirteen in all." Ichigo gaped marginally as Byakuya continued. "In these times when death surrounds us, creating life, creating anything, seems to validate your existence. It shows that not everything is withered," he hesitated with his next words, "that you may have been brought to your knees, but standing is as simple as getting to your feet." For just a meteoric moment, Byakuya had been diverted from his woeful pondering, distracted by the revitalizing company of Ichigo. It was no bombshell, the reality behind Renji's words. Just from his force of will alone, Ichigo had moved something within Byakuya, stimulated his roots so they could extend once again. He reminded Byakuya of things he once believed and inspired him to combat anything that stood in the way of his pride, even if those things were the laws of which he lived by. By being perfectly Kurosaki Ichigo, he made him believe in such a thing as hope and that it was worth fighting for.

There was no denying that Byakuya had developed deep reverence for the man, and through that, he also developed a certain amount of care. Yet just as he did with Rukia, just as he did with all those he held in his heart, he treasured Ichigo from a distance, keeping himself detached while also protecting his own heart. Like always though, Ichigo pushed himself in, and Byakuya found it arduous if not useless to resist his stubbornness. More troubling, he found himself not wanting to, as if a friendship between the two was just as natural as the plum trees that canvassed the plains.

Deep within, two latent parts seemed to rage against each other. A need to keep Ichigo at bay and a need to keep him close. It was of no matter, for if everything went as planned, he'd be leaving soon.

The thoughtfulness of the gesture and the truth of those words stole Ichigo's breath for a passing moment. He'd never thought of things like that, considering all he seemed to know was destruction. His hands, his uncontrollable powers, they brought chaos. Perhaps a needed chaos, but chaos none the less. Seeing things through Byakuya's eyes, understanding his motives and thoughts, it was like seeing things with a whole new perspective. He felt as if he grew in the wise and radiant light of the older man.

"Why red tsubaki?" Ichigo rasped.

With closed eyes and soft mounds of warm breath, Byakuya said, "You know of hanakotoba, the Japanese language of flowers, yes? Red tsubaki's mean to perish with grace, and more so, they symbolize love."

"Love?" Ichigo asked, glaring towards the man dubiously. "I get the perish with grace part, but I'm not following why you wanted something that symbolized love."

"That's rather simple, actually," the nobleman elucidated, "The essence of being alive, of growing, is to be loved." At the perplexed silence that followed, Byakuya clarified his somewhat cryptic words. "A child whom is never given the affection or care of a parent will never learn to function normally or interact with others healthily. Likewise, animals who are abandoned by their parents will not thrive, flowers who are not given the proper attention by a tender horticulturist will wither, and even as adults, people who know nothing of the love of other people, who are completely solitude, will always stay stagnant." With a wistful almost regretful breath, Byakuya concluded, "To be loved is to grow, to be alive."

Yes. Byakuya knew this as fact, yet he chose to live within the confines of fear, keeping him languished, but safe within those walls.

Such amorous yet astute words coming from the mouth of one of the most isolated men Ichigo knew seemed to equally sadden him as they did resonate with him. _'Are you trying to tell me you've stayed stagnant, Byakuya?'_ he thought, his gut churning at the unsettled notion. An urge to know Byakuya better and experience his world if only a little bit surged through Ichigo, prompting his next question. "Can I help?"

Opening his eyes, Byakuya seemed to consider the offer. "This was the last seed to be sewed, however, there is something you can do."

"Yeah, anything."

"Souls are able to concentrate their reiatsu in the palms of their hands and send the energy flowing into the seeds. This will stimulate and aid the growth process." He explained, "In this regard, everyone in the Gotei can be apart of the growth of these trees, one merely needs to stop and gently pulse their energy into the dirt."

"Wow," Ichigo marveled, "I didn't know souls were capable of something like that."

Nodding, Byakuya confirmed, "Yes, though Kuchiki's have an especially high aptitude in this."

"Really," Ichigo asked, "why?"

"I'm assuming you do not know the history behind the noble families?" Byakuya pondered.

"Nah, just that my dad's family use to be apart of it. Ya know," he snorted, "before he got them kicked out."

"Before there were shinigami or the academy, the soul king created four powerful souls to be his disciples, each with an imperative purpose. The Shihouin clan were to protect and cultivated the Tenshiheisō **,** the kings heavenly weapons. The Shodaclan were created to protect the balance of souls by performing konso. The Shiba's were entrusted as the protector of the people, slaying the hollows who at one point ran ramped in this land. As for my clan, the Kuchiki's, we were given two task, protecting our world's history and our world's land. With such strong reiatsu flooding this world, our landscape was volatile and unbalanced. Therefore, Kuchiki's are born with a specific type of reiatsu, one that naturally revitalized plant life and stabilizes the geography. Because of this, just by existing, we keep famin and drought from the land."

"That's really cool, Byakuya," Ichigo complemented with a smile. "And it explains your frilly zanpakuto," he taunted with a chuckled. "You give things life, whereas all I seem to do is destroy things."

Pausing in contemplation, Byakuya gave a definitive shake of the head. "On the contrary, you destroy boundaries so life can thrive. Much in the way one must replot a plant once it's outgrown its perimeters," the nobleman rationalized. Considerably softer, Byakuya added, "Decay gives way to new life, it is all in the balance."

Each word seemed to chain together, creating an invisible rope that strangled Ichigo's heart and lungs. He was almost certain he was blushing, though he didn't understand why. This man, he did unexplainable things to him.

"Maybe I shouldn't add my energy," Ichigo suggested with an out of place chuckle. "You said gentle, and that's one word I wouldn't use to describe my reiatsu."

"Here," he gestured, hovering a hand flat above the dirt, "place your hand atop of mine, I will filter your reiatsu."

Hesitating, he looked at a patiently awaiting Byakuya, not understanding his own apprehension. The two were friends, comrades, and usually, the nobleman made Ichigo feel calm, not flustered. "Uh, sure," he mumbled, trembling slightly at the feeling of his callused palm pressed against the nobleman's hand.

"Do try to hold back though. I am already blind, so I would much enjoy keeping my hand," the nobleman deadpanned, earning him a dulcet laugh from the younger man.

"No promises," Ichigo rebutted, allowing a bit of his energy to pass through Byakuya's encumbering hand. As he slowly saw a bud begin to sprout, Ichigo's features widened in mesmerization. Removing his hand, he exalted, his breathing heavy and fluttering, "That's amazing, thanks for showing me this, Byakuya, and for..being my friend."

Hiding the effects Ichigo's words had on him, he turned his face in the direction of the other man, noting how close they were from the feeling of Ichigo's tepid breath dancing across his skin. The nobleman felt throttled by the sentiments, regretful by how foolish he had been. How could he had allowed himself to desire this companionship? Why was he trying to torture himself? Byakuya Kuchiki did not have friends, because friends could be lost and torn away. Rather he left for isolation or Ichigo left for the world of the living, he'd never have this. This comfort, this closeness, he'd long ago learned that the circumstances of his existence meant that such things would always be out of reach.

Ichigo should be with his true friends, not some broken man with no use to anyone. He gave nothing to Ichigo, was no use to him. Surely Ichigo would see that eventually. The man was just too headstrong to give up on anyone, even if it was for his own good. Byakuya knew that was just his way, that the young man could befriend anyone, but eventually, he'd leave and Byakuya would be one out of a myriad of soul who was touched by the alleviating yet expeditious winds of Ichigo's affections. He'd be simply another admirer.

He could not handle being toyed with by such fanatical ideas of friendship. It was torturous.

Calling Senbonzakura through his mind, he got to his feet and wiped the dirt off his garment. Meanwhile, Ichigo looked at those grey blue eyes shimmering like constellations, wondering if he said something wrong. "I am no such thing," Byakuya asserted, his voice as thick and cold as the surface of a frozen lake. He turned and took a few careful steps, frustrated that he could not simply flash step away.

Mystified, Ichigo shot up and grabbed the man's wrist without thought. "Byakuya, I don't understand. I thought-"

"You thought what?" he ridiculed, his back taunted towards the man's face. "That because we shared a few moments, this somehow constitutes friendship? I am not your friend, but a means of distraction for you. But I will be no one's project, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Stunned, Ichigo's voice was somewhere between offended and hurt. "Do you really think that's what I think of this? That's not it at all-"

Once again cutting the man off, Byakuya reasoned, "Besides, it do you more good to spend your time with your actual friends, not some handicapped man as myself."

At this point, Zangetsu and Senbonzakura had flashed into view, but Ichigo payed them no mind and only tightened his grasp on Byakuya's wrist. "Is that what this is about!? Don't even think about calling yourself that!"

"Fool," Byakuya chided, "always with your blind optimism. This is exactly what I am. You have no use to be around me as I have no use to be around you."

"Byakuya.." he called, his voice almost pleading, "stop being so damn stubborn, will you?! You can talk to me, because we _our_ friends, and I can help you, because I _never_ give up on my friends."

All of his patience, all of his control, it was slipping. This man made him relinquish it all, and he could not understand why.

"Talk to me, Bya-"

"And tell you what?" The nobleman snapped, turning around abruptly to show a crimson sea of specks lighting up the greys of his eyes with a godly wrath. "Would you like to hear of how I am stuck in this amaranthine darkness with no means of escape? Would it make you feel useful if I explained how all of the things I once found beautiful and soothing, my calligraphy, reading, moon gazing, that I can do none of these things without my sight? What if I told you that I am stuck in this incessant darkness without so much as a means of distraction, left alone only with my thoughts, would this make _you_ feel better?"

Rendered speechless by the outburst, Ichigo's mouth sat opened but feckless, grappling pitifully for words that did not come. Byakuya, realizing that he so tempestuously lost his all enduring leveled headed temperament, cleared his throat, straightened his posture, and preened himself back into his usual unfazed nature as Senbonzakura took his place at his master's side. "Now, If I have succeeded in placating your worries, I'll be taking my leave."

Seeing the way Byakuya's eyes waned from a fiery red to a melancholy grey blue, much in the way a sunset blazes for an instance before it falls to the stillness of darkness, Ichigo was knocked from his stupor. He went to reach out for a now retreating Byakuya, only to have a thwarting hand grasp his shoulder.

Turning to see the menacing yellow eyes of Zangetsu, Ichigo all but hissed, "What's the big idea, Zangetsu?"

Smirking, the creature speculated, "Don't you think you should let him go, King?"

"Tch," he denounced and shook the spirit off, "I don't have time for this." Only, the next words his always enigmatic spirit spoke hooked him, reeling him back in. "Don't you think he has a point? You're just using him."

In a flash, Ichigo had a fist full of white fabric, snarling at the spirit with a deathly animus in his sharp, honey eyes. "Like hell I am!" he denied. "What crazy shit are you talking about? I would never _use_ Byakuya." He emphasized the word used, spitting it out as if it had sat bitterly on his tongue.

Still with that cocky curl of the lips in place, the spirit gave a nonchalant shrug of the shoulder. "You can beat me up if you think that will make ya' feel better, King, but it won't change much and it sure won't help Byakuya." As their eyes met in a deadlock, as if both searching for some deeper realization in the other's determined glares, Ichigo's torridity dwindled to a manageable flam and his tight grasp abated. Flinging the spirit from his vicinity and scoffing, Zangetsu knew his master really wanted to help Byakuya, really cared for him, enough to dampen that irrational hostility.

Although, just as Ichigo was unable to tap into his full power until the veracity of his heritage was fully realized, his zanpakuto understood that he needed to fully understand the tendencies of his essences, good and bad, to overcome his shortcomings.

"What the hell are you talking about," Ichigo growled, "since you seem to know so much more about me than I do?"

"Think about it, King. Didn't you approach Byakuya in the first place because you felt like you needed to not feel so useless. Wasn't he just a way to preoccupy your mind?"

"No!" Ichigo immediately denied, cringing and looking off to the side, hiding the glimmer of shame that cascaded over his face.

"Are you sure?" The spirit challenged.

Clenching his fist as if he was trying to hold on to the repudiation of his flaws, Ichigo huffed, not knowing what to say exactly. "I-I...can't it be both?!" he barked. "I..care about him. I enjoy being around him.." he admitted, his voice ladled with a meekness. "Maybe at first it was partially like that, but..not anymore." Looking up with more confidence, Ichigo declared, "It's like Byakuya said, there's a difference between protecting someone and being there for someone. I want to be there for him!"

"Hm," the impish spirit hummed in amusement, "but don't you remember what you said in return? That you've never been good at the latter?"

"Yeah, but I-"

"It's like with your poor sisters," the spirit reminded, "They always wanted you to be around, to be their big brother, but you were always off. Yeah, you were protecting them, but to do so, you gave up all that time spent being _there_ for them. Same with your friends too. Think of it like a parent who spends all their time working to provide for their brat, but then they can never spend time with them."

"That's not fair!" Ichigo cried out.

"I didn't say it was, King, but life ain't fair and the truth ain't pretty." Aloofly, the spirit sighed, walking towards Ichigo in a lackadaisical manner, much to the shinigamis chagrin. "But ya know, I never said it was a bad thing. You can't gain something without giving something up, you can't be the hero off fighting the battles while also being the brother of the year. That need to protect, it's a double sided coin."

"So what?" Ichigo mocked, "You're saying I should just give up, accept things like that? Maybe I don't always have to be just one. The war's over now, so maybe It can be different."

Snorting, the spirit said, "Of course not. If you gave up, I'd kick your ass. I was just making sure you were aware of what you were up against. You have to know yourself to change yourself."

At his spirit's support and affirmation, Ichigo gave a crooked grin. "Okay Buddha, no need to get all philosophical on me."

"That's basic common sense, King. You're just dense as all get out," the spirit insulted.

Ichigo turned towards the direction of which Byakuya fled with the help of Senbonzakura before closing his eyes against the wind, feeling remnants of the nobleman's energy swirling around him. He inhaled deeply, as if looking for the solution to these hurdles in the feeling of the man's essence. Remembering those heart wrenchingly sad eyes that burrowed into him like a silent plea for help, Ichigo opened his, feeling somewhat lost and without direction. Turning his head slightly, he asked, "What should I do?"

"What do I look like, a magic eight ball?!" the spirit bellowed. "I can't fix your problem for you."

"I don't understand why he pushed me away," Ichigo pondered out loud, his voice betraying his hurt. "I thought.." ringing his hand through his haphazard locks, "..I don't know what I thought."

"I'm not sunshine or moonbeam, so I can't tell you that. But I will say this," the spirit rebutted, coming to stand beside the man, "You two are more alike than I think either of you realize. Maybe if you look at yourself, you'll start to find the answers. Part of 'em anyway."

"Always with the damn riddles," Ichigo growled, "I thought we were passed that."

"Ah, I just like making you work for it," the spirit smirked. "You're not going to figure out why he pushed you away without pushing yourself in, so I wouldn't even waste your energy thinking about it right now. Instead, worry about pushing yourself back in."

"And how do I do that!?"

"Do I have to come up with everything!? You're about as useful as a can of bug spray." Sighing in frustrated disappointment, he advised, "Showing him that you really care is a start, that you listened to his words. Think about it, think about what he said before he left."

With those words of counsel, Ichigo thought about Byakuya's rare outburst, about the things he confessed in a moment of emotionally driven vulnerability. Ichigo couldn't give him his sight back, however that didn't mean he couldn't help him find different ways to see the same things..

"I got it!" Ichigo exclaimed, breaking the silence.

"I knew there wasn't just hot air in between those ears of your," the spirit quipped, patting his master on the back. Giving him a queer look, the spirit inquired, "I gotta ask, King, why are you trying so hard for this guy? Why do you care so much?"

Taken by the question, Ichigo put up a defensive glare. "What kind've question is that? I don't need a reason to care about a friend," he justified. "It's just who I am."

' _But isn't this different, King?'_ the spirit thought to himself. "If you say so. Do you need any help with your plan?"

Ichigo took no time to shake his head no. "Go back to your inner world, this is something I can do on my own."

 **xXx**

After meeting with the elders, a frustrated Byakuya was making his way back to his quarters with the aid of an attendant.

Much to his disappointment, the elders were being tenaciously resolute that they did not want Byakuya to slink away into isolation. It was their belief that just because his sight had been taken and his actions limited, that his savvy for leadership and his political know how would be integral to the months to come after the war.

This was just the senile obstinance of old men, Byakuya thought. He needed assistance to move from one room to the next. No matter how shrewd of a mind he may have, how would anyone take him seriously? In that regard, how would anyone take his clan seriously? He refused to be the reason his family's legacy was reduced to a laughing stock.

He flowed through the labyrinth of hallways at a torpid pace, allowing his movements to be guided by the attendant at his side.

A clan leader should not need a babysitter just to keep himself from running into walls.

Much to his dismay, Byakuya's thoughts lingered on Ichigo and the hints of sorrow Byakuya seemed to have left him with. Perhaps he had been too harsh, but as always, his draconian manner was not without cause. Therefore, he could not bring himself to regret it.

If Ichigo proved to hard headed to be sensible and leave him be, then Byakuya had no choice but to create that distance on his behalf.

Out of obligation and an almost compulsive desire to help everyone, Ichigo had developed some kind've misplaced care for the nobleman. One that would surely degrade into pity and disgrace once Ichigo realized the extent of the nobleman's impotency. Like always, the young man was acting without thought, not considering the consequences of his words or actions. With such a honorable heart, Ichigo would get stuck in this makeshift, fraudulent friendship, miserable in the forced company of Byakuya.

And even if a genuine care backed the headless actions of Ichigo's, than this was an even better impetus to build up these boundaries between the two. Friendship, affection, these were desires he'd long ago left to the wind, allowing them to be carried far away, sacrificed for the sake of his greater well being.

Even now, he'd lost the one person that he would've even consider a friend, the person who stood loyally by his side and he could not push away. The pain was undefinable and threatened to swallow him whole, once again reminding him of why he kept so few bonds. Not that he feared Ichigo dying, for that man was the only person he trusted not to die when all else did, but either way, all things beautiful were plucked away from Byakuya sooner than later.

His mother, father, grandfather, Hisana, quite a few friends from his younger days, and now Renji, it was as if to love Byakuya Kuchiki was to become cursed to death. It was as if this was his true essence. Sakura blossoms, the manifestation of his powers, symbolized the hopefulness of new life and the humbleness of death. So did this mean that the terms of his existence hinged on a perpetual cycle of hope and expectant death? Was the purpose of his life to simply endure death as the ones he cared for came and went like the seasons. Even sakura's, they bloomed suddenly and conceded to their mortality swiftly. Like people, their hopeful vivacity was short lived compared to the inevitable summation of their duration.

Only it was not death that brought about the greatest of pain, but hope. Death was honest, blatant in its ruthless lethality, while hope manipulated, flirted with the parts of your soul that still yearned for something more tangible. Hope was sly, convincing you that perhaps things would be different this time, even after you've experienced the same dismal pattern time and time again. Hope was the contender of good sense, the hay bringer of pain, the weapon of choice for masochist who wanted nothing but to want nothing. Despite his attempts to forgo hope, the cruel seductress always slithered it's way back in, finding the one crumb of his humanity that survived and fed off of it. Hope was like an infestation of vermin, finding a way into your house through a hidden hole in the ceiling. Hope was the only thing that never died.

Everyone lost people, but for very few did losing make up the fiber of their existence, and frankly, Byakuya was tired. The nobleman wished for the comforting embrace of death in the way a crying child wished for the embrace of their mother. It felt like a home he had never been too, a safety he would never know.

What a fantasy, a paradisiacal bliss, to slowly feel himself slip away. The numb prickling of his skin, the shallow thrum of his heartbeat, the vanishing of every painful memory, and lastly, the harmonic silence that rang loud and clear, these were steps to becoming nothing. Oh, and how wonderful did being nothing sound, what unobtainable peaceful. There was a reason Buddha preached that nothingness was where true tranquility lied, because personal sorrow knew no enemy like death.

He thought of this more frequently. Thoughts of the reshi that tethered together his entirety dispersing and creating new life that he would never be burdened to see crept upon him in his constant thoughts. Ichigo said he gave things life, but perhaps that was only because he was trying to drain himself of it, create something much more beautiful than himself.

However, he had too much pride and honor to fall on his own sword without a truly virtuous cause. Death was easy while living was hard, and he would not be a coward. More so, he was selfless to a fault, and his last act would not be one that was completely self serving.

Instead, he distanced himself from all those intimate connections that made life worth living, killing as much of himself as possible.

As he neared his quarters, the soft harmonies of music reached his ears, growing clearer with each step. When he reached the enclosure, Fujita switched out with the current attendant and took a place at her lord's side.

"Lord Kuchiki," she addressed, making her presence known.

Narrowing his brow in confusion, he asked, "Fujita-san, why is there music playing? Is this your doing?"

"Ah, I would never be so presumptuous, my Lord. No. This is the work of your house guest, Kurosaki-san." Sounding pleased, she recalled, "He asked me if we had a record player, and I told him that I believed we had one stored away with all the other items that never see the light of day. He went rummaging for it for quite sometime. When I asked him why, he said he wanted you to realize you can see beautiful things even without your vision."

Staggered he was at the gesture, Byakuya stood quietly considering his words. "Fool," he proclaimed, trying to ignore the way his heart seemed to thrum over the music, filling his whole cavity.

Smiling, Fujita nodded.. "Quite. But sometimes it takes a fool to do the impossible." Gesturing a hand out, she suggested, "Now come my Lord, sit and I shall prepare you some tea."

Doing so, he soon found himself knelt down in the company of himself and the melodic tune. He closed his eyes and allowed the sound to fill him, a beautiful requiem packed with calming wind pipes and the songs of nature, like free falling water and the rustling of leaves. In his mind, he painted a picture of scenic waterfalls gushing over quaint landscapes and striking trees swaying in a flurry of sweet smelling air. For a moment, his mind's troubled inclination was distracted, breached by pleasurable images. Ichigo had given him an escape from this maddening darkness, from himself and the truth of his reality. More importantly, he'd given him beauty while also trying to bestow the man with a new perspective. There was also one more thing that Ichigo gifted to him.

Sighing, he thought, _'Why must you make me hope for things, Ichigo?'_

 **xXx**

 **Anonymous Crew: Oh you'll defiantly get plenty of juicy Byaichi banter in this story. It's my favorite part to write about them. Yeah, I'm evil and I like making the readers wait a really long time for the good stuff. So strap in tight, my loves. Ichigo will have his breaking points, but it wouldn't be too fun if I told ya'll how Byakuya handles it, now would it? ;) Thanks for the review! ~ Ashes.**

 **LustfulAvarices: Thanks for always reviewing. It keeps my spirits up. Yeahhhh, I'd consider keeping a box of tissues on you for this one. My stories are always pretty sad to a point, but this one takes the cake. I'm glad I can make you cry though, and I mean that in a totally not evil, sweet way. lol. ~Ashes.**

 **Dust-of-Moon: I'm glad to hear you like Byakuya's and Ichigo's character and find them believable. Ichigo is pretty hard to write for because, one, he has such a dynamic personality, that you could take his character so many ways, and two, since he's the main character, I think people just expect more of him. But I'm pretty happy about the way he comes across. Thanks for the review! ~Ashes.**

 **Tifanny91: As always, I really look forward to your comments. Us fangirls love anyone who's into their story enough to take the time to write anything at all, so getting something more detailed is always a great feeling. You're totally right, it would have caused a love triangle, and honestly, I'm not the type to pit characters like these against each other like that. It just doesn't fit their characterization. I see stories all the time that involve one of the three being jealous and vindictive towards the other, and I just don't buy it. Like, Ichigo and Renji are bros and would probably both ignore their feelings or try to deny them if they knew the other was in love with Byakuya too. Plus, I just didn't want this story to be about that. I'm sure the fan girls would've loved a little bit of drama, but it would've just made me sad. Ichigo will support Byakuya's freedoms more than anyone else in this story, because he just gets it, and honestly, it's who Ichigo is. Byakuya is pretty stubborn towards it, because come on, Bya is just as stubborn as Ichigo is, but it does mean a lot to him. The best way I can describe their relationship is Ichigo becomes Byakuya's storm(force of nature) and Byakuya becomes Ichigo's shelter. Their both exactly what the other needs and wants in a romantic partner, though it takes a while to figure it out. There are many small moments in this story that will bring them closer and closer to each other and to realizing how they fell, but geez, I'm the writer, and I already think it's going to be too long.(I'm also an impatient fan girl who's out of good ByaIchi fics to read) Thanks as always, love. ~ Ashes.**

 **Hakuteiken: Thank's love, I'm glad you've enjoyed it and I hope to see you review again! ~ Ashes.**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey loves, here is the next installment for you guys!

Though things move really slow with this story, things get a push in the right direction with this chapter. Also, for the most part, this is solely a story about Byakuya and Ichigo getting past the war and finding out parts of themselves in each other, but there will be other small plot points that will pop up. Some of which I do start to set up in this chapter, but don't worry, they are all only things that add to the character development in different ways. Though this is an emotional story, it's rather simple and sweet at the end of the day

I wrote for Urahara's character some in this chapter, which I don't do often. Tell me what you think.

If you're not keeping up with the manga(which only has one more chapter left - holy crap) I want to explain something about the Wandenreich(the quincy's world/hideout) It actually exist within the Seireitei, but within the shadows. So the quincies live in the same universe as the reapers, but in a different plane. It comes up briefly in this chapter, and I didn't want that to confuse anyone.

Why I love Byakuya and Ichigo number 45(I have no reason for writing this other that I can): Kubo uses moon symbolism with both their characters frequently.

 **Song: The Fear, by Ben Howard.**

Good vibes ~ Ashes.

 **The Ice that Blinded the Water**

 **xXx**

 **Oh, my, my, cold-hearted child, tell me how you feel,**

 **just a grain in the morning air, dark shadow on the hill.**

 **Oh, my, my, cold-hearted child, tell me where it all falls.**

 **All this apathy you feel will make a fool of us all.**

 **Oh, I've been worryin', that my time is a little unclear.**

 **I've been worryin', that I'm losing the ones I hold dear.**

 **I've been worryin', that we all live our lives in the confines of fear.**

 **Oh, I will become what I deserve"**

 **xXx**

Ambling without aim through the halls of the sumptuous Kuchiki manner, Ichigo was contemplating a justifiable cause to see Byakuya. How tempestuous it was of him to seek a reason, for he'd always been the type, that if he wanted to see someone, he'd just do it. Especially with the Kuchiki nobleman, seeing as grating Byakuya's nerves with his unsolicited presence was rather amusing to Ichigo. In fact, he was almost certain that the noble enjoyed his random popping in, finding it charming despite his words.

After the incident yesterday, however, Ichigo was concerned about the possible friction between the two, and he had little idea about how to initiate a conversation. More than likely, they could not simply engage in their usual light hearted chats without addressing what had transpired between the two, a conversation Ichigo knew Byakuya would be less than favorable too, considering the man was as unyielding and as anchored as a sierra.

Knowing this, Ichigo understood exactly which position he held in this dance of theirs. The two existed in a constant push and pull, where Ichigo pushed himself in, the nobleman pulling back a little less with each tenacious stand off between the pair.

Ichigo was the force, an unrelenting geyser of raw voltage that refused to cease until the foundation of everything was uprooted and altered forever. While Byakuya was the patience, the shadow, the unarticulated, cultivated reservoir of understanding and empathy that never ran dry. Never able to move from his spot, the patience extended his fortified yet restrained shadow to loom over Ichigo in an act of encouragement. He was the silent support, the comfort you never saw, but could feel flickering in the air. He was a guardian angel, merely a whiff of sakura's, the unsettling of dirt particles, or the stirring of your heart was the only sign of his presence. He was the haunted feeling of being watched and turning around to see no one there. He was the hero they never wrote about. He was the home you always had even if you couldn't return.

Byakuya was the lull and Ichigo was the storm. Despite not being able to put this knowledge into words or coherent thoughts, it was something integral in their actions towards each other, in themselves, and Ichigo couldn't help but take his place as he always had. He'd bring down his wrathful tempest until Byakuya had no choice to let him in. Byakuya was the fluid movement of water resigned to the capture of solid ice, stuck in a sempiternal winter. The only freedom would be the affectionate warmth of destruction striking open this ice prison.

Fed up with his overthinking, Ichigo decided to let the words find him in the moment and made his way to Byakuya's quarters with no reason other than wanting to be in the company of the other. A part of Ichigo wished he could say that he was compelled because he hated seeing anyone he cared for being held hostage by their own pain, but the truth was much more complex than that. As much as he desired to help the man, he equally craved the strange comfort he felt in their friendship. Never had he wanted the company of someone as strongly as he wanted to help someone. Often Ichigo sought the quietness of his own solitude and only allowed friendships to breach it occasionally. Truthfully, the connections, they all meant more than he'd validate with words. Rukia, Chad, Uryu, Orihime, his other friends at school, these were bonds that kept him leveled headed and brassed backed when the world felt as if it was spinning out of control, but his often aloof temperament meant these relationships were never looked for and often thrust upon him, companionships he accepted but just happened to stumble into, as if his friends often gravitated towards him. This was the first time in a long time he gravitated towards someone else, that someone else's warmth drew him with a vigor he could not ignore.

On the way to Byakuya, Ichigo ran into a frantic Rukia.

"Rukia," he greeted.

Shifting from side to side, the girl balanced a hefty load of paperwork. "Oh what's up, Ichigo?" she asked, shifting her eyes towards the direction of the exit every few seconds.

"Uh, just about to go see Byakuya," he said, following the direction of the girls wonderings eyes. "You in a hurry?"

"With my Taichou in the- wait." Her stern glare fixed on Ichigo. "Why are you going to see Nii-sama?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

A foot tapped in annoyance as the girl sighed. "You shouldn't bother Nii-sama," Rukia chided.

Ichigo's body opened up as if pulling away from the conversation. "Why do you assume I'm bothering him?" he scowled.

"I know you, Ichigo." Faintly, her eyes rolled. "Besides, he's never been partial to company. You should respect that."

"I know he pretends like he isn't," Ichigo contradicted. Near by, he picked up the sound of gossiping attendants as they walked by, only to stop and distance themselves as they saw Ichigo and Rukia. "Don't you ever, you know, wonder why he likes to be alone so much? No one get's like that for no reason."

It was in this way that the two were similar, and Ichigo believed he was finally starting to understand. Both, to varying degrees, hid behind hard faces and often apathetic temperaments, yet also cared deeply despite the pretensese they were equipped with. Because of that, their similarities, Ichigo saw more in the reclusive man than most dared to inspect. He saw parts of himself.

"I think I know Nii-sama better than you, and trust me," she tensed, "I know why more than anyone, but being alone is the way he chooses to deal with things. Besides, he get's angry when he's disturbed."

"So that's it," Ichigo speculated, "you're scared of him?"

He noticed the methodical, almost robotic movements of the servants. In the streets, people's eyes and voices seemed to hush around Byakuya's orbit. Even the clock's on the wall seemed to get quieter as the man passed. Some could call this respect, but it resonated with fear. People feared Byakuya, and Ichigo wondered if it was because Byakuya was truly so frightening, or was it because the nobleman held himself within his icy barriers of drastic, imperious speech and distant, impenetrable glares, that others were afraid to get close, lest they be frozen solid by such a disposition.

"What are you implying, Ichigo?" she gritted, clutching her paperwork with more restlessness. "I am not fearful of him, I just respect his boundaries."

"I don't know," he poised aloofly, crossing his arms loosely against his chest as he looked towards the direction of Byakuya's quarters. "Just that, if you're so busy respecting the guy, you never really get to know him. Maybe he presents himself that way, but that doesn't mean that's what he really wants or all of who he is."

Ichigo had friends who broke through the walls he held, and that's where they differed. Byakuya did not. Everyone was too busy respecting his ice fortress to see the truly miserable man inside. Rukia, Renji even, while they did care, their reverence for the walls disabled them from seeing, that the man behind them needed someone to break down these barriers. When he built up walls to protect himself and no one tried, nor cared, to enter, too fearful of the arduous track, it only solidified their purpose.

Rukia sighed in annoyance and sent the man a sharp glare.

Ichigo, recognizing the signs of his volatile and somewhat abusive companion, held up his hands placatingly. "I didn't say it's a bad thing, so calm down! I'm just saying, I'm not you or anybody else, so my relationship with him doesn't have to be like anybody else's."

Maybe the nobleman didn't even realize it consciously, but Byakuya was waiting within those walls, waiting for someone to see through them, to show him that they were worth lowering. After so long, he became complacent that this would never happen. Ichigo couldn't explain the lonely feeling that gave him.

Rukia walked passed the man shaking her head. "I don't have time to talk about this now, Ichigo. Just don't disrespect Nii-sama, you're a guest in his house. Or you'll have to answer to me.

Ichigo scoffed and muttered as he walked away. "Like you need your brother as a reason to beat on me."

It was only as Ichigo was about to turn a corner, that he heard the overwrought pleading of an unfamiliar voice and the pattering steps of waraji heading towards Byakuya's study, and he halted, implicating a little bit of stealthiness. He let his gaze follow the two men from behind his concealment. One was the almost always breezy Shunsui, flowing down the hall with his staple accessory, a flamboyant haori, rippling with every step. Beside him was a middled age man, august and dignified in his majestic Kuchiki crest embroidered garment clinging pristinely to his fit form. His opulent tresses were peppered with grey and the slight crevices that drooped his heavy evergreen eyes gave him the appearance of a ripe individual who exuded experience. Ichigo concluded that he must have been one of the elders he had heard of but had never seen. They had became almost like some urban legend in his eyes, a ghost story of powerful men who roamed the estate but were never actually visible, perhaps because they only dwelled in the walls.

Despite his decorum and polite manner of speech, there was a certain franticness behind his words. "Please, Kyoraku Sōtaichō, I must ask you to reconsider!"

Sighing, the look on Shunsui's face as he stopped and turned towards the man was one equally filled with empathy and frustration. "I don't see that I have much choice in the matter. If there was any other way, I-"

"But isn't there?" The elder snapped before reigning back in some composure. "Please understand, we're hard pressed as it is to keep Byakuya-san here with us. He is insistent about going into isolation to less burden us." Clenching his hands together, the elder was twisting at his own fingers in trepidation as he pleaded his case. "If you take away his position, surely nothing will stop him."

Under his breath, Ichigo muttered, "Isolation? What are you doing, Byakuya?"

"Maybe that's what's best for Byakuya-san right now," the commander poised.

Hardening his eyes and puffing his chest, the elder corrected, "I am an elder of this household, so such familiar terms are fine with me, but you will call him Kuchiki Taichou-san. He deserves this respect."

A warm almost wistful smile pulled at the drained features of the commander. "Excuses me. I was not trying to be disrespectful. I've known the man since he was a boy and was close with his father. If anything, he is like a nephew to me. So my lack of formality was more out of nostalgia."

With his temper hampered, the elder said, "Then all the more reason you should not do this to him! He is perfectly capable of continuing with most of his duties, he just- just needs a bit of time and training. He needs to get use to living with these new circumstances. If we find him the proper trainer, he can regain his fighting prowess even without his sight, and they're other accommodations that w-"

"Exactly," the commander interrupted, "he needs training and adjustment. This isn't forever, but only until he can come back in the full swing of things. Who ever we appoint will step down when Kuchiki-san feels he is able to take back on the full responsibilities of his captaincy. This way, he can give his full focus to recovery", he explained.

With all the foreboding seriousness the elder could impede on the other man, he warned, "If you remove him from his title, I have serious doubts that Byakuya-san will ever return. He is in quite the disillusioned state right now." More grimly, an almost sickly look befell the man. "Losing his vision, he feels useless and ashamed as it is, sure he will only burden those around him, and certain that he will be losing his position and respect, the only things he has. If you know him well, you must know the sacrifices he has made and the people he has lost on his way to the top." Earnest and filled with worrisome, the elder questioned, "He is strong, but everyone has their breaking point. Do you really want to be the one to send him over his?"

The elder had an instinctual feeling churning at his entrails, setting his skin ablaze, prepping his whole being for calamity. Byakuya had the soul of a samurai, and it was in a samurai's code of honor to sacrifice themselves for the sake of their bushido pride rather than shaming themselves or the clan, often a means to escape being killed by an enemy's hand. As frightening as it was to admit, the elder would not put it past the noble to take his own life because some twisted sense of virtue, feeling as if he was taking the honorable path by preventing others humiliation and burden. When looking at the other, he hoped the sentiments shined through his dreary graveyard eyes.

The two stood amongst the muteness, and a heaviness filled the atmosphere. Reading between the words said and not, the commander felt the whole weight of life and dead suspended between them. Finally breaking the grim silence, he expressed, "It's not as if I want to do this, Head Elder Kuchiki Daichi, but I-"

"Kyoraku," Ichigo interjected, stepping out into view.

Smiling impishly, the commander pinched the rim of his hat and tipped it towards the man. "I was wondering when you'd come out of hiding."

Simmering, Ichigo clutched his fist to hinder any compulsive acts of violence that tried to get out despite his better judgment. "Save it," he growled. "What happened to no wolves? No throwing?"

Ruffled by the sudden intrusion, the elder sharpened his eyes and asked in an authoritative manner, "Who are you, boy? Grown men are talking here."

Not even sparing the man a look, he kept his animus glare on the commander. "An advocate for Byakuya, that's all that matters."

The elder didn't seem to know what to say to this, only it didn't matter, when Kyoraku gave him a reassuring pat on the back. "This cheeky tyke is Kurosaki Ichigo," grinning, he added, "and don't take it personal, he's that way with everybody."

Slowly rolling his eyes up and down the shinigami, the elder assessed, "I see. Well as a key player in the recent war and a comrade of Byakuya-san, you're man enough to have your opinion heard here, I suppose."

"Thank's for the permission," he snorted sardonically, taking controlled steps towards the commander. "What the hell? You can't be serious about this! Just like that, you're going to abandon Byakuya?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the scruffy man just let out an amused chuckle, one that sent Ichigo's blood boiling at how crass it appeared. "Man, this is my reckoning for giving Yama-jii such a hard time. It's coming right back around to bite me in the ass." Sighing, his eyes held hints of regret. "I have to think about the the entirety of the Gotei now. I don't find any pleasure in this. I know you want to help Byakuya-san, but things aren't that easy."

Though his plight was something Ichigo could sympathize with, it did nothing to deter him. There had to be a way, he knew it.

"Who gives a shit about it being easy?! Byakuya's one of us, a comrade, family, you can't push him out just because his recovery isn't going to be convenient! You won't even try?! Besides, how's he supposed to adjust to being a taichou blind when he gets no practice with it? He doesn't need time off, he needs some goddamn support!"

"Kurosaki-san," he placated, "right now, we need someone who is ready from the get go. As it is, we are depleted of about seventy five percent of our manpower. If we weren't so low on men, it be different. We could just have his fukutaichou assist him until he was comfortable handling all of his duties, but we're already picking his stand in from the very few seated officers left in Rokuban tai(sixth division). So unless you have a way around this, I don't see many other choices to make."

There wasn't even an breath or a moment of thought given before Ichigo knew exactly what he was going to do. "If all Byakuya needs is a fukutaichou to keep his position, than I'll do it!"

 **xXx**

Sitting in his study, Byakuya felt utterly exhausted and decided to rest his eyes. He'd been a victim to disturbing nightmares, unable to run from the terrors of his life even in his sleep. The more his mind replayed that explosion and the confession of Renji's, the more certain he became in his theory that Renji took the brunt of the blast for his sake.

Why did everything Byakuya touch wither and die? Why did the ones who loved him all turn to ash at his feet? The nobleman couldn't help but blame himself if only for being alive, feeling as if he had to be the living incarnation of death itself. The man felt like a black hole, suctioning all the light and life that gravitated towards his ruthless time enduring pull. That must be why he was the only one who survived that blast, because death couldn't die.

And now he could feel the presence of the head elder and the captain commander moving towards his quarters, and he was sure he knew exactly what their purpose was.

This was it, the moment he knew would come eventually. If anything, he was glad that there was no prolonged tension. In just a few moments, his very last iota of significance would be plucked from him, leaving him as the empty husk he'd been dwindling into.

Byakuya was just a bike with a broken cog, banished to a lifetime of collecting dust by an owner to attached to throw away the faulty machine, convinced that he could one day be fixed. But Byakuya could not be fixed, because there was nothing there to fix anymore. He was to far gone.

He accepted his faith, and with a head held high, he would take his removal with grace. In two days time, there would be a mass memorial held, but after that, there was little for the elders to contest.

Finally, he could vanish. Maybe if he could keep removing all these parts of himself, the memories would follow.

After sitting listlessly for a moment, what sounded like an argument taking place on the other side of his door reached Byakuya's ears. Since he'd lost his vision, he noticed a remarkable increase in his hearing prowess. Now he could hear things at ranges of which he most certainly shouldn't, as if one sense was trying to pick up the slack of another.

He could clearly make out the points of each side, cringing at the two men talking about him as if he was simply a child they had to figure out what to do with. It wasn't that he didn't understand the elder, but Byakuya wished he'd just stop. Did he think that perhaps this was what Byakuya wanted? Who was he fighting for exactly? Didn't he see Byakuya wasn't worth the exertion?

Though it was Ichigo's involvement that twisted him in all the wrong ways, filling him with equal parts melancholy and anger. This whole situation was getting out of hand. Didn't they see, it was all just a waste of time? Couldn't they just grant him some peace?

He resigned to their bickering, deciding he'd allow them to duct it out and await the verdict, seeing as everyone had taken it upon themselves to make decisions for him. It was something his pride would not usually allot, but he had little of that these days also, and as long as he pretended he heard nothing, he didn't have to pretend like he had the energy to care. This would all be over soon anyway. The commander would make the right decision, he was sure.

It was Ichigo's unabashed declaration that pushed him past the point of patience. Hearing that, he could not inert himself any longer. He could no longer ignore the pride that comprised him. Finding his bearings, he decided to put an end to this.

 **xXx**

Blinking at the brazen man, the commander was sure he'd went silent for much too long. Why these word were such a shocker, he was not sure, for Ichigo was always doing surprising things, always brashly so.

"What," Ichigo remarked at the dumbfounded expression, "am I not qualified?"

Regaining a grasp on himself, the commander's trademark grin resurfaced. "Overqualified, actually. Are you sure you want to do this, Kurosaki-san?"

Whatever consequences, if there be any, Ichigo didn't care. An overwhelming instinct to be there for Byakuya umbrellaed all else. Despite his disposition, an utter dearth of logic did not comprise the young man. This would not be easy, and his actions would have ramifications. This he understood. Hell, he hadn't ruled out the possibility that Byakuya would try to murder him when he found out, and though these were all possibilities, they mattered little. None of these potentialities would avert him when he decided, stubbornly so, what needed to happen. He'd help Byakuya, consequences be damned.

Ichigo gave an airy scoff. "Do you really have to ask me that?"

"Touché," the commander rebutted, fully recognizing just who he was talking to. Ichigo didn't know the meaning of giving up, even when death itself was staring him down. Byakuya, only slightly more terrifying than death, was not any different. "But, ya know, Kuchiki-san isn't going to be happy about this."

"You are right about that," a steely voice spoke up from behind the group, grasping all threes attention. With Fujita at his side, the nobleman glared daggers that did not met anyone in particular.

"Byakuya-san," the elder implored, '"I think you should consider this offer."

"I will do no such thing," Byakuya deterred. "Kurosaki Ichigo is going home, where he belongs."

"Kurosaki-san," the commander jumped in, "you do realize that, if you stay here, this is a permanent situation." Sharpening his eyes to convey the magnitude of the choice, he informed, "A body can not live off of a soul mod forever. Eventually, your human body will die."

Looking off to the side pensively, in a single breath, Ichigo affirmed, "That doesn't change my decision."

"You fool, you can not be serious. Think about your actions for on-"

"I have thought about it." Ichigo sneered, and his voice was dense with rage. "I've been thinking this is where I should be for a while now, actually. There's a lot I can do here. I make sense here. I don't have to tell lies or keep to myself because people will think I'm whacked if they find out the truth. I've always wanted to protect people, and I can't see a better way to do it than being a full fledge shinigami."

"And what about your friends and family? Do you not care how this will affect them?" Byakuya huffed. Aimlessly his eyes took on that of a corpse canvassed battlefield, the ashen gray soaking up that dangerous red.

"You're one to talk about friends and family," Ichigo muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Byakuya questioned, suppressing the tremors that threatened his composure.

Ignoring the question, he rebutted, "They were given access to come here and visit as much as they wanted. It's no different than if I went away to college. Actually, It's much easier to visit me here than it would be if I went away somewhere else, seeing as all it takes is summoning a gate."

"If you want to throw away your life, be my guest, but you will not do it in my division," the raven declared, putting his foot down.

The condescending inflection of Ichigo's next words made Byakuya's spine tense and his throat tighten with a violent need. "Who said you had a choice, Byakuya?"

Cutting in, the commander said, "We do need tachiou more than anything, Kurosaki-san."

A light bulb went off in Ichigo's head at the claim. Suddenly, he made a proposition. "I'll tell you what, Kyoraku, order Byakuya to stay and take me on as his fukutaichou, and I'll be your damn tachiou, but only after he's too a point where he can complete all of his duties on his own." Smugly, Ichigo added, "Byakuya wouldn't dare disobey a direct order from his soutaichou."

Everyone felt the barely contained rage of the two boiling over. They could practically taste the electricity tingling at their lips. "I will not have you treating me like a child whose incapable of making decisions for myself," Byakuya asserted and closed his eyes to placate himself, "especially in my own house."

At that Ichigo snapped while simultaneously flooding the room with his overwhelming pressure. "If you're going to act like a child, than you deserve to be treated like one," he yelled unabashedly. "Running away from your problems the moment things aren't easy, Tch." He scoffed before he scolded, "If we left it up to you, you'd throw your whole life away, everything! What am I suppose to do?" he asked, taking a step closer to the shellshocked noble, "let you throw everything away? Just give up? Fuck that! I didn't when Rukia tried to throw away her life and let herself be executed, and this is no different."

Huffing and panting from the intensity of his diatribe, a sadness riveted through him and caused his voice to quiver like a condemned building. "If you're not in the right mind to be thinking more clearly, than I'll do whatever I have to do to stop you from doing something stupid."

When it came to saving a life, he'd stop at nothing. Despite how obstinate Ichigo was by nature, he was not what you'd consider a controlling or domineering man. He'd never try to force someone to do things his way or assert authority over anyone, but Byakuya was standing on the proverbial edge and ready to fecklessly languish away every facet of himself. Someone needed to talk him down.

Unfortunately, Ichigo's way of talking down could be about as sensitive as a meteor to the gut at times, especially when his emotions were in a muddied and misunderstood place. Above all anger exuded and spouted without control, but this was a very surface level reaction. Truthfully, his feelings were like piercing thickets that obscured his mind, and he felt lost within them like one would feel in an interweaving forest, tar black and shrouded with scathing thorns at every turn. Destructive indignation was the only way to bust through.

At the root of it all he was confused and sad, sad that Byakuya had gotten to a point he felt torn asunder and frightened by the nightmares of what probably caused this state. He felt sad that Byakuya attempted to hide the heftiness of his heart and that he hadn't noticed it himself. Mostly he was confused about how the nobleman got to this place and desired to understand why. It just couldn't be helped, he wanted to understand the depths of Byakuya Kuchiki.

There were only three times since his mother's death that Ichigo's sorrow overcame his confidence and sometimes petulant anger in the midst of battle or the fake smiles he'd give to comfort his worried friends in his everyday life: when he thought his powers were lost for good to the fullbringers, when his bankai was broken against the quincy king, and lastly, when he stood in front of a dying Byakuya, the rain and blood mixing around him, dripping down the nobleman like a morbid watercolor painting.

Ichigo couldn't save Byakuya that day, and he never felt so useless in his short seventeen years. He had been too late. Against the veil of storm clouds, without even realizing it, tears glided down his flinty, flushed features while he tried to contain an explosion of animus. Byakuya's song of mourning was for Ichigo's ears alone, a melody of pattering drizzle that hit the foundation, the distant echoes of battle cries and clashing metal, and the thrum of Ichigo's heart beat pumping red-hot blood at twice the rate. It was resonating. It never left him.

He'd be damned if he failed to save a friend again. There were no tears this time, because this time, he would live, not by Ichigo slaying an enemy or using his sword, but by him being there for the noble. It was in that moment Ichigo realized that saving someone didn't always imply protecting them from dark forces, sometimes it meant to stand right by their side and fight with them.

Byakuya was strong and could take care of himself. He was a survivor, and he was definitely not someone who needed to be protected, but someone who needed help protecting. He needed a friend, someone to share in the burdens he carried. He needed an equal. He needed a partner.

"Though this young man is quite audacious, and frankly, just blatantly rude," the elder commented, being cut off by Ichigo.

"Yeah?" he scoffed in dissent, "and what's being polite and passive doing for you? By the looks of it, Byakuya was ready to flee in the middle of the night."

Throwing up a dismissive hand and looking towards a miffed Byakuya, the elder said, "As I was saying, I happen to agree with this upstart." Lowering his voice to a careful questioning tone, the man asked, "You've seemed..mentally unwell..drained..Have you been sleeping alright, Byakuya-san?"

A deep plum as royal as Byakuya floated in the grey abyss of his oculars, searing the receiver.

"My sleeping habits are fine, thank you," Byakuya remarked derisively.

"This is not true," blurted Fujita, earning her bewildered looks from all present company. Byakuya, stunned, gaped subtly towards the woman who had been standing at his side for this entire encounter, for his entire life. "Lord Kuchiki has been unable to get restful sleep since the war, always waking up in cold sweats from these persistent terrors." Taking a shaky breath, she supplicated, "Please forgive me. I hope by speaking of this I have not lost your trust and you can find the reason behind my actions. You have always been more than my lord to me, as I hope I've became more than an attendant to you."

Taking a staggering breath, the nobleman said nothing in return, but held his head tall. Although nothing could hide the truth that flashed through his eyes. Like miniature galaxies, the socket perched world's flickered, jumping from color to color with the velocity of a shooting star breaching the earth's atmosphere, almost imperceivable to the human eye. As if trekking through nebulas and constellations at the speed of light, the vibrant colors all swirled together into a whirlwind of staunch emotions assaulting the nobleman all at once. At the sight, Ichigo understood that a whole universe was housed inside of Byakuya, and he thought he knew the man by a few conversations. How wrong he had been.

After the light display, all color was zapped from the nobles eyes, drying out into a translucent ashen that absorbed all grey the way they once did when Byakuya had found out his sight wouldn't be simply returned in the healing center. There was a drought in those landscapes, a dreadful hopelessness that made Ichigo cringe and his body swell with hot damp empathy towards the man. Byakuya had been drained off all emotion, as they filtered in and out to quickly to be understood.

Under the defeat of Byakuya's abject silence, Ichigo decided that such a complacent Byakuya was not something he liked. It wasn't right on him and was bitter to the senses. "So?" Ichigo asked the commander, donning an imperative look.

The commander wafted his glare in between Ichigo and a hushed yet proudly situated nobleman. Head full of doubt, the commander conceded, "Alright, well, its at times like this, I wish I had a staff like Yama-jii, so I could be more authoritative, but I'll decree it. Don't make me regret this, Kurosaki-san."

With those last words of warning, the commander tipped his hat once more before departing. Taking his lead, the head elder did so as well, followed by Fujita - though she stayed close by. All together they flocked away like birds sensing an impending catastrophe, knowing, without words, what was about to occur between the two men.

Byakuya opened his eyes towards where he believed Ichigo to be standing, which was actually slightly to the left of the man. "Kurosa-" He began, finding himself cut off as Ichigo grabbed the fabric of his yutaka and jutted him backwards into the wall.

Palms flat, Ichigo locked the noble in place with one hand on each side of his head. "Isolation? Seriously, Byakuya, what were you thinking?"

With blood stung eyes of disapproval, Byakuya highly considered kido blasting the bold man from his vicinity, never one to allow such handling of his person or disrespect, but yielded out of fear of damaging his property or escalating the situation to unmanageable heights. A noble with decorum refused to rise to such bellicose and temperamental behavior. Sternly, the noble warned, "You are crossing boundaries, Kurosaki Ichigo. Know your place, I'm a high noble and a taichou, and I will be treated as such."

"Title or not, you're just Byakuya to me. I've always called you out on your crap, and that's not changing," Ichigo declared. "Besides, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be those things anymore!" An inflection of dolor, thick and with more mass, was apparent in Ichigo's next words. "What about Rukia, your squad, your house," clawing at the wall, he added, "me?"

Byakuya wore a proud face, but by the gentle grasp he had on the fabric of his garment, trepidation was evident in his mannerisms. These were questions he didn't want to answer. "What about you?" he asked as if the young man didn't matter in the slightest.

"Were you even going to tell me?" Ichigo rasped in question.

At the betrayed hurt in Ichigo's voice, Byakuya was stung with guilt, though he tried not to show it. Closing his eyes and taking a breath he was sure he'd been holding, Byakuya stated caustically, "Why wouldn't I? As you can see, you took that so well. I knew you well enough to know you wouldn't understand nor respect my choice."

"Respect what?" Ichigo asked with an air of disgust, "that you didn't think at all about how this would affect the people who care about you?"

Forgoing his level headedness, it was his turn to grab a fistful of the Ichigo's fabric and snarl at the man. Pulling the young man a mere inch from his face, he spat acrimoniously, "How dare you? Have you ever considered, that I want what's best for _you_ , for the ones _I_ care for? I will be nothing but a burden to those around me, a humiliation to my house, a subpar taichou to my squad. I have thought of nothing else but those around me!"

Ichigo blinked a few times in the face of the outburst - something only he seemed to yield from the noble. Here he was, always pushing Byakuya out of his zone of comfort and familiarity.

Firmly, his hand grasped that of the captain. Through all his anger, he had not seen past his own hurt feelings. Reading between the lines was never one of Ichigo's best qualities. He did not understand Byakuya's motives until he grabbed him abruptly and stated them point blank, nothing but hot air and the bare truth between them.

"I should've realized, that's such a you thing to do." He scowled. "Stupidly sacrifice your own happiness because you think it's for some greater good, even when it's not necessary." He shook his head in irritation and groped Byakuya's now loosening hand tighter. "You're not a burden, Byakuya. It's never a burden to be there for someone you care for. Everyone else would agree with me. Stop being so prideful, and let people help you get back to your best."

"That is impossible," he stated sedately. "My best is not within the realm of these circumstances."

"Bull shit!" Ichigo cursed, a smirk creeping on his face. "Or is it that you're scared to find out?"

"Nonsense, I have never backed away from a challenge based on fear," he affronted, "I'm merely being realistic." _'More so, I have no will to face this challenge. I do not wish to be a burden on those who only keep me around because their guilt would eat them alive if they did not. I care for them, but what reason do they have to care for a callous man as myself. I offer nothing.'_

"Than prove it!"

Byakuya's eyes closed and a few rickety breaths followed. "Why?" he asked.

At the question, Ichigo's head tilted. "What?

"Why? Why do you care so what becomes of I? Why do you mind my business?" Lively budding stems sprouted in those eyes, blooming in curiosity. "I have done nothing for you, offered nothing to you. Earlier, you compared this to your saving Rukia, but she offered you the power to save your family, to save the world. If anything, I have hampered you."

"Not true," Ichigo exclaimed without falter. "And you know it's not. You offered Rukia and Renji help getting into Hueco Mundo, you cut down the book of end, even thinking he was your friend. You watched after me when I was powerless and helped me regain my powers." Taking a step forward, he invaded the nobleman's space once more with that staunch pressure that could not be ignored. "Ever since I stopped Rukia's execution, you've backed me up in every way you could, because you trust me and believe in me, care about me."

Taking an almost unconscious step backwards, Byakuya faltered as his back became acquainted with the wall. "I- I was simply following orders."

"No," Ichigo denounced, burrowing into those eyes with a persistence. So much so, Byakuya could feel that Ichigo was looking him directly in the eyes, claiming his souls full attention, if only briefly. "If that were true, you wouldn't have been so kind and open with me after the war," he pressed. "That's care, Byakuya."

Once again, his palm supported himself against the wall beside Byakuya's head before he dipped his own. "Don't you remember?" he whispered, "I lost my powers." Clenching a fist as the residual pain of the memory pulsated through him, Ichigo reminisced, "I would've done anything to get my powers back. I did do anything, even trusted people I shouldn't have."

Pausing thoughtfully, he looked up once more, "Don't you understand, I get what you're going through more than anyone else could, and I want to help you in the way you helped me!"

"I offer you nothing," the noble reasoned. "Without the ability to use my powers, I'm useless to you and everyone else. You have no reason to care for a man as myself."

Bewildered, Ichigo studied the man for a moment, as if gauging the words. "You really think that, don't you? You think that about yourself." Clenching his jaw and leaning in deeper, Ichigo said, "You and the rest of the Gotei helped me, and it wasn't just because you guy's wanted my powers, but because you all cared about me and didn't want to abandon me after the Winter War. So why do you think it's any different for you?"

Byakuya paused, feeling clammy and drained from his lack of sleep. He surprised even himself with the nakedness of his answer. "Because, unlike you, my abilities and position are the only things that make me worth anything to anyone. This is just fact."

A wave of anger the size of a skyscraper tumbled over the younger man, filling his lungs, knocking him off his feet, seizing his every thought. "You listen to me, Byakuya," he demanded, "I don't know who put that dumb shit in your head or what exactly your deal is, but no matter how long it takes, I'll show you that's not true. Maybe you don't see me as your friend, and that's fine, but you're mine. Like it or not, you're stuck with me, so get use to it!"

After a moment, Byakuya's face hardened and he pushed passed the man, signaling a nearby Fujita to make her way to his side. "Fine," he conceded, back taunted towards Ichigo, "but if you're to be my fukutaichou, there will be some rules you are to abide."

He turned back towards Ichigo swiftly, bestowing him with a ridged look. "Firstly, you will address me appropriately, as Kuchiki Taichou."

Blatantly, Ichigo said, "I don't know if I can do that." When Byakuya loosened an irritable sigh, Ichigo amended, "Alright, alright, I'll address you _formally_ when we're around other people. Deal?"

"I suppose," he sighed, "such a small gesture is more than I could hope for from one as yourself, Kurosaki Ichigo." Going on, he added, "Secondly, you must respect my commands. I am your commanding officer, and though I take no issue in you voicing your opinions, my final word is the law of this squad." Byakuya mocked, "I know abiding authority is not a strong suit of yours, nor is team work."

Ichigo tugged at his lip and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, do what you say, got it. Anything else?" he snipped.

One again Byakuya turned his back to the man and folded his hands behind his back elegantly. "Yes," he said, "one last thing." He turned his head over his shoulder slightly. "I need you to promise to always be honest with me."

To say the last rule took Ichigo by surprise would be an understatement. For a moment he stood there with a dumb look before the noble continued. "I can not see, therefore I'll depend on your eyes in certain situations. I'm not daft, but there are times when people will take advantage of this disability, and I may not always be able to see the truth for myself. If you're at my side, you must be prepared to always be honest with me."

"Yeah, that's something you can always count on my for, Byakuya."

There was a short pause before Byakuya said, "Very well," and began to walk forward with the aid of Fujita.

"Uh, Byakuya." Ichigo stumbled over his words as he held out a hand to stop the noble.

"Yes, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"Um, well." He grabbed the nape of his neck nervously. "For the sake of honesty, you should probably know.." The young man paused and swallowed down a breath that had caught in his throat. "The color in your eyes, Isane-san told us she thinks it's caused by different emotions, but she wasn't sure if you should know or not. She left it up to Rukia and me."

There was another short pause, this time more awkward in its existence. "I've already deducted this," he proclaimed, much to Ichigo's shock. "As I said, I am not daft, and there were few reasons I could find for this color change. Your honesty has only confirmed what I already believed to be true and that the individuals around me have arrogantly decided what I can handle and what I can not." When Ichigo found no words, Byakuya added, "There is more respect given in one honest action than any amount of formalities can convey. In this regard, I am grateful for your respect."

Ichigo smiled mildly as Byakuya walked away and declared, "I'll expect you at dawn, Kurosaki Ichigo Fukutaichou, and I do not abide tardiness."

To no one but himself, Ichigo let out a dry chuckle and shook his head in amusement. "This may be the craziest thing I've done."

 **xXx**

"What do you mean it's already done?!" Ichigo watched the hectic, droopy eyed scientist stride back and forth across the twelfth division. His hair stood haphazardly as if filled with large amounts of static electricity, and his skin was so blanched, it was starting to resemble that of the twelfth captain.

"Don't be so surprised, Kurosaki-san! While Kurotsuchi Taichou has been working on other developments, I took it upon myself to work solely on your seal! "

Ichigo watched Urahara tinker with some levers on a machine with a hint of amusement. "Uh huh, more like Kurotsuchi is driving you insane, so you've been letting him do his own thing as much as possible."

"I'm offended." Urahara plucked a file from a walking by division member and flipped through it. "I figured you'd want to get home to those _adorable_ little sisters," he singsonged, "of yours as soon as possible.

"Sure," Ichigo snorted.

Under the shadowy brim of his hat, Urahara smiled slyly. "You do know me well." From a separate part of the lab, the shattering of glass could be heard followed by the menacing yells of Kurotsuchi berating a division member. "Don't you miss the good ol' days, like when I was helping you infiltrate the Soul Society and we had to fight against Aizen?" He gave a wistful sigh, "Those were simpler times."

"The mad scientist must be really driving you insane if you're missing Aizen."

"It's more than that," Urahara informed, pointing up to a screen with data and charts that might as well have been Latin to Ichigo. "The amount of reiatsu put out by Yhwach has sent the balance out of whack, and we're working overtime to maintain it." Seeing the panic in Ichigo's eyes, Urahara reassured, "Don't worry, the World of The Living is the least of our problems. More so, it's Hueco Mundo that received the brunt of it. The atmosphere has become almost unbearable to survive in, but, as you know, when hollows die is mass amounts, the world's balance becomes severely compromised."

Ichigo scowled up towards the screen and stepped closer as the man continued. "Not to mention the lack of shinigami and the issue of what's going to happen with the Wandenreich and our relationship with the remaining quincies. Since our worlds exist within the same universe, we can not simply ignore them. The whole situation is getting really tense. Most of the remaining shinigami's are ready to gather pitchforks and go on a rampage, while us more seasoned members of the Gotei know better."

"That's ridiculous," Ichigo poised, "Haven't they learned anything from the war? Slaughtering is how we all got into this mess anyway. With Bach gone, things can change with the quincies. They can become allies."

"I agree, but the angry horde is all but demanding blood. Nel and Grimmjow, Yoruichi-san and I are working to get them asylum for the help during the war, since they can't return to Hueco Mundo as of now, but right now, we don't really know what to do with them. The shinigamis don't really want to see arrancars walking around either. So their with Yoruichi-san in our secret training ground."

"Keeping Grimmjow contained in the training ground? Tch," Ichigo smirked, "I bet he's liking that."

"Ha," Urahara let out a mocking laugh and hid behind his fan. "Don't worry, Yoruichi-san has her ways of keeping him entertained, as I'm sure you can imagine."

At the thought, the young man shuttered. "Yeah, I don't want too." Raking a hand through his hair thoughtfully, Ichigo observed, "We defeated Bach, but it's like we're still fighting him."

"Yeah, the battle was won, but the war is far from over."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Ichigo asked.

From his spot facing the projection screens, Urahara turned his head over his shoulder to address Ichigo. "You could go give your good friend Ishida-san a visit. Maybe coax him out of hiding. We'll need his help to figure out all of these diplomacy issues, since he's the only person left to lead the quincies. You're great at giving people a kick in the ass."

"I plan on it," Ichigo declared resolutely, "I've just been..caught up in some other stuff lately."

"Oh," Urahara put on a knowing smirk, "I've heard that you've been getting nice and cozy with a certain Kuchiki lord, cozy enough to take on a position as his second in command."

With arms crossed, Ichigo's back straightened from the wall he'd been leaning against. "How the hell do you know that? I just- you know what, don't answer that. I'm sure I can figure it out myself."

The impish man snickered. "Our new soutaichou is one of the biggest gossip vultures in the Gotei, so the news of your new best friend is probably common knowledge by now." When Ichigo just scowled in return, the scientist said, "So I'm assuming you won't be needing the seal your dear old friend slaved over to make, but I gotta ask, if only as a long time friend of your dads, are you sure you're making the right decision?"

He turned and gave the younger man a more potent look. "I'm sure you know, this is permanent. This is quite a big sacrifice you're making."

"It's not like i'm not use to sacrifice," Ichigo pointed out with a shrug of the shoulders

"True, but those times were different," Urahara pointed out in return, "Every time you sacrificed something, it was more so _your_ life or _your_ powers, but it was never the people you care for. Those are the biggest sacrifices and the hardest ones to live with."

An unsettled look overcame Ichigo as he thought about the older man's words for a moment. "You're right, but it's not like I'm sacrificing something I love for something I don't want at all. I want to stay here and help the Gotei, but I can't have it both ways. So, in the end, I went with my gut feeling, the one I knew was more right for me."

It felt as if the older man was looking for something deeper when he gave Ichigo a speculative look, as if he was analyzing him the way he'd analyze one of his experiments. "Besides," he added, "that's what Byakuya would do. He's taught me a lot about sacrifice in the past."

"Oh?" Urahara prompted as he donned a mildly surprised look.

"Yeah, I mean, that's all the guy does. Sometimes it's not for the better, but it's still an admirable trait. Even when Rukia was about to get executed, he didn't want her to die, but he was willing to sacrifice anything, even his own happiness, for what he considered to be the greater good. Just like he was willing to sacrifice his family's wrath and his own happiness again when he brought Rukia into his family, or when he was willing to have the whole Gotei brand him as a traitor just to kill Koga himself. Tch-" he muttered, "It's like the guys incapable of doing anything for himself."

"Hm," Urahara hummed knowingly, "who knew you gave so much thought to our Kuchiki Taichou."

At that Ichigo reddened slightly before putting on a defensive scowl. "Well I- It's obvious, ain't it? To anyone who's paying any attention, anyway. I'm not completely dense, you know?"

More so, it was how could Ichigo not notice with everything that had came into the light lately? Seeing Byakuya try to foolishly sacrifice everything that defined him all for the sake of the ones he cared for, it was like seeing the once obscure man limpidly for the first time. At least parts of him. Sacrifice was the essence of Byakuya Kuchiki, and even though it was sometimes foolish, Ichigo saw great virtue in that.

Once again Urahara drew his fan in an attempt to stifle a laugh. "I'm just happy to see you boys playing nicely. So, did you come here just to tell me you won't be needing the seal, or was there something else?"

"Yeah, actually, I need some help doing some research on something, some World of the Living things, but I don't know how to go about that."

"Ah!" Urahara exclaimed, pointing up an index finger, "You came to the right person. The soul society holds a database of just about every occurrence within the Living World, so you can search through it just like you could with the internet in The World of the Living."

"Huh," Ichigo said as he scratched the back of his head, "that was easier than I thought it be."

"Any other services I can help you with? Illicit or the likewise?" the man smirked.

"I know you're always coming up with new science experiments and tools. I mean, you're the one who created the sword that got my powers back. So with Byakuya's condition, I was wondering if-"

"If I had any devices aimed towards helping blind people just lying around? Nope, can't say I do, but I wouldn't mind dabbling a bit, seeing if I could come up with something that can better help him adjust. You'll owe me one, though."

"Tch," Ichigo grinned, "I'm doing you a favor anyway by giving you another reason to keep your distance from Kurotsuchi."

"A little bit of sake wouldn't hurt either," Urahara smirked, "but, I don't mind helping out Kuchiki Taichou." He put his thumb and pointer finger together as if he was measuring a thimble. "I knew him when he was a wee little tyke. I knew his dad too, a great man Sojun-san was."

"Yeah, I heard."

"Way friendlier than our Kuchiki Tachiou and a lot less serious, but they're both the same at the heart of it," he spoke nostalgically, walking to the adjacent side of the room to prepare some tea. "Any way, If you're interested, I do know a guy who lives in the the Rukongai who'd be perfect at training Kuchiki Taichou to fight without his vision. He's one of the best swordsman and hand to hand fighters I know, and he's also completely blind. Sound like what you're looking for?"

The news made Ichigo's face light up brilliantly. "That's awesome, geta-bōshi. You always seem to know the perfect person for any situation."

The scruffy faced man poured some steaming water into a chipped tea cup with a crooked grin. "When you've been around as long as I have, you make a few connections here or there." Hearing an irritably approaching Mayuri, Urahara suggested, "I'd skedaddle for right now if I were you. I wouldn't put it past Kurotsuchi Taichou to try and turn you into his next science experiment. Come back near sun down, and I'll help you with your research."

With that warning in mind, Ichigo said, "Thanks geta-bōshi, you don't have to tell me twice," before flash stepping away.

 **xXx**

Later that evening, after he had completed his research and went by what was left of the sixth division to introduce himself, Ichigo walked down a lengthy hall in search of his guest room. Since he was still getting use to the grounds, Ichigo found himself lost more often than not when he went to retire for the evening. As he walked past a gallery of glass windows that overlooked the verdant expanse of garden, he saw a smiling Fujita standing amongst the adumbrate casted corridor.

He walked up to the women and saw she was a shadowy vigil, to what, Ichigo was unsure of. "Hey, Fujita-san," he greeted, following the woman's eyes.

"Hello, Kurosaki-san," she greeted in return, and for whatever reason, she whispered, as if they might wake the paintings on the walls. Bringing up one wrinkled finger to the pan of glass, she pointed across the grounds. "Look."

Ichigo scrunched his eyes and allowed them to adapt in the darkness. Past the small oasis, grove of now blooming sakura, and flourishing Chinese bluebells, Ichigo saw a moon bathed Byakuya rested on his deck. His movements were barely perceivable, undefinable. "What's he doing?" Ichigo wondered.

Turning her head just slightly, dimmed blue eyes crinkled blithely in his direction. "Lord Kuchiki is practicing his calligraphy." She smiled bigger at the man. "You are a good influence on him, my boy."

He pointed to himself as his face widening. "Me? Why do you think that?"

"He has not thought of this once since he returned home," she poised and turned back to the window to admire the man in secret. "I believe he lost his sense of hope, and he had became too tired of this cruel life to fight against it." The aged attendant let loose a full body sigh of contentment. "I am not sure as of why, but you seem to revive him." At the man's humble look, she affirmed, "I know my boy."

Modestly, Ichigo shook his head as he stood beside the woman. He found himself equally as enthralled in the sight, for it made the world just seem a bit more right. "Byakuya is strong, even if that's true, it's nothing that didn't already exist in him. This is all him."

"Perhaps," she smiled wittingly, "that is why you affect him, because you believe in him so fervently."

Almost unconsciously, Ichigo lifted a hand to the glass, as if trying to get closer to the cause of this tingling sensation of relief and happiness. "It's easy to believe in Byakuya," he said, now whispering also, like these sentiments were secrets. "There's a lot I don't know about him, but I would never count that guy out."

With a swift and motherly slap to his hand, Fujita chided, "Don't put your fingers on the window. A servant cleans these, you know?"

"Ow," Ichigo groaned and scowled, rubbing his hand. "Way to ruin a moment, Fujita-san."

She chuckled lightly and cupped the man's cheek with her palm. "You should probably be getting rest, Kurosaki-san. You will need it to deal with Lord Kuchiki's expectations."

Ichigo rubbed his dozy eyes. "You're such a mother, Fujita-san..but you're probably right. Byakuya won't give me any slack."

"Goodnight then, Kurosaki-san," she removed her hand and bowed shallowly.

Before she could retreat, Ichigo called out with a hint of embarrassment. "Uh, Fujita-san," he rubbed his nape, "I'm kind've lost, mind showing me to my room?"

Fujita shook her head in an endearing manner. "You say I'm such a mother, but perhaps you need mothering." Nudging her head in a come hither fashion, she ordered, "Follow me."

"I need a map more than anything," he scoffed. One last time, Ichigo looked out the window with a smile before letting loose a yawn. "Alright, coming."

 **xXx**

 **LustfulAvarices: Thank you for such a sweet comment! The support is paramount, and I'm glad it can catch your attention. Things are pretty gloomy for them at the moment, but never fear, this will have a happy ending(Though we're pretty far from it.) There will definitely be more** **z** **onpakuto love in this story, I have to much fun with them.**

 **Dust-of-Moon: Oh yeah, that's a pretty big mistake. Thank you for pointing that out! I'm glad you like the spirits, since their parts of Ichigo and Byakuya's soul, they are always good to offer insight. Senbonzakura is just to funny too.**

 **Tifanny91: As always, thank you for your encouragement. I'm happy the sakura part stuck out to you. I always wondered why Kubo choose this as a manifestation of Byakuya's powers, and when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Sakura's are japans national flower. They represent the hopefulness of new beginnings(because they bloom at the beginning of their fiscal calendar year) and the humbleness to accept death(because they die so quickly.) I think this was definitely intentional on Kubo's part, seeings as Byakuya's character is all about sacrifice, bringing death in hope for greater life. I don't know if you watch Naruto, but he's like the Itachi Uchiha of this series, willing to sacrifice his own happiness for the greater good. And though that can sometimes live in a moral gray area and be over done, it's really a beautiful quality at the heart of it. That's why I love him. Yay, I'm glad someone is checking out the lyrics. lol. Thank you, that's really sweet of you to say. I'm glad you like the development so far. I've always seen Byakuya's character in a really specific way. He's a samurai, all about his position and a total martyr. It's also pretty obvious that Byakuya isolates himself and has an aversion to feelings because of his past. So I think, if he were to lose his abilities, he'd feel without reason. He also knows himself and limits well, so knowing how callous he can be, the way he has been raised, and how he has an aversion to feelings, it makes sense that he would think of himself with no other qualities other than his powers and position. I hope you like this interpretation of his character. Don't worry, throughout this story, there will be things like brail and other adaptions for Byakuya to get his life back in order. Everything is just slow going. Your comment about the way I deal with emotions really touched my heart. I've been writing ByaIchi stories for a while, none that have ever been all to popular. (This is probably the most popular one) My friend once told me she thinks thats because I write about complex emotions that most readers are not really looking for in simple fan fiction, but I don't know any other way to write. So It's heartwarming to know people can enjoy what I write, despite the emotional roller coster I send people on.**

 **siwon611: My pleasure dear. I think their a severely underrated pairing. I know they'll never happen, but I still think there characters would work together beautifully. It's kind've funny. I have other pairings that I like, but I can't really say that I ship them, not like these guys. Their the only pairing that inspires me enough to write for them in this way. I almost wish I could ship pairings like ByaRen or GrimIchi, because at least then there'd be more fiction for me to indulge in. lol. Thank you for your support!**

 **Secret Companion: It always makes me smile to see new users comment, so thank you, love. I know it's sad, but that's my style of writing. If you can get past the sad parts, I try to take you on a pretty interesting and beautiful trip.**

 **Guest: Hey love, thank you for taking the time to share your opinion, and I hope you keep reading. I attempted to show the ugly truths of the war in a way I think other fictions miss at times, so I'm happy you can appreciate this. Hope would definitely be theme of this story, and though it takes a while to get there, these beauty will consistently find hope along the way.**


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! I'm back sooner than I thought I'd be. I recently hurt my ankle and can't work for a while. It's bad for my bank account but pretty awesome for my fiction.

This chapter is really dialogue heavy, which many will be, and I hope you guys like that. Mostly, I hope the pacing of this _slow_ story doesn't put you guys off. I love writing dialogue for these two, and it flows so easily for me. In fact, that was a big reason for writing this story, I wanted to write a story where you actually see the grit of them falling in love, all the fluffy moments and the conversations. The writing style is pretty typical of me, so if you read my other work, you should be use to it.

 **Terms:**

konsō: Soul burial

go-seki: fifth seat

konpaku: A soul that lives in the Rukongai

zankensoki: Shinigami fightening abilities(Kidō, shunpo, ect..)

torii: A Japanese archway

 **Song: "These Waters" by Ben Howard**

Good vibes ~ Ashes

 **A Quiet Darkness**

 **xXx**

" **And what we found**

 **down these coves of limestone and cockle shells,**

 **what we found**

 **down these roads that wander as lost as the heart,**

 **Is a chance to breathe again, a chance for a fresh star."**

 **xXx**

Just as the first rays of daylight tickled the horizon, Ichigo was already bath and dressed, ready to head towards Byakuya's study. He had little clue about what this may entail and found it better to make no assumptions. Byakuya had a tendency of surprising him.

However, that did not abate the tinge of nervous energy that filled him. It was no secret Ichigo had never been big on teams or following orders, and he especially had difficulties with authority at times. For those long, arduous seventeen months without his powers, he jumped from sports team to sports team, renting out his athleticism, and often had an apathetic attitude towards showing up at all, considering he'd quit at the first sign of conflict. Though he felt no commitment nor importance towards those arrangements. They had merely been a way to pass the time, distract himself from the numbing void that was being regular and powerless. This was different however. Now his strides were backed with purpose, and he was dedicated to the choice he had made.

Also, he was not completely dense nor lacking any experience in putting in continuous hard work. During his time as a student, he maintained a spot among the top twenty five of his class. He'd always cared about his grades to some degree and put in the time an effort to do well, even if he didn't really know what for. Looking back on it, he wondered what he would have done if he decided to return home and go to college. Fighting had became his life line and protecting his crux, so the thought of languishing away in some mundane office setting day after day was akin to gnawing on glass. Most likely he would've joined the military or became a cop, and maybe those things would have filled him with a sense of desire, but he saw no point in dwelling on the possibilities, when he was certain that his position among the gotei already gave him that ambition.

When looking down a fork in the road, there was no one right path to take. Both would have been filled with their own unique trials and prosperities, but as Ichigo wrapped his fukutaichou badge around his forearm and faced himself in the mirror, faced the man he was and the decisions he'd have to live with, he felt no regret. This was right for him.

Ichigo's fingers brushed over the badge tentatively. If he recalled correctly, Renji had never worn his badge in all the time he knew the other man, for what reason, Ichigo was unsure of. Briefly his gut swelled uncomfortably at the thought of his deceased friend. For the first time it hit him, that he was replacing Renji - or his position, more accurately. If Ichigo didn't know of how Renji respected his captain with such great vigor, the notion may have left him riddled with guilt, but he knew his friend. He knew Renji would approve of the lengths Ichigo went to be there for his captain.

And though Renji wasn't the reason he decided to take this on, the knowledge only resolved him more. He would always carry this unsurmountable shame for the death of his friend, for not being able to do more no matter what heights his powers reached, but maybe watching over Renji's most important things could be his means of atonement.

With one last brazen glare at his reflection, Ichigo headed off.

Arriving near Byakuya's personal quarters, Ichigo saw an irritable Fujita leave Byakuya's room and the way she threw her arms up in defeat and muttered under her breath.

Ichigo gave her a questioning look. "What's wrong, Fujita-san?"

The woman put her hands on her hips and shook her head in a hopeless manner. "Lord Kuchiki is, excuse my bluntness, being insufferably stubborn."

The young man scowled at the thought that this was going to set the whole tone for the day. If so, it surely be a long one. And it had started off so promising too. "Shouldn't you of all people be use to that?" Ichigo inquired.

"He is being especially stubborn today, Kurosaki-san," she explained, rubbing her temples methodically.

"Great," he muttered, rolling his eyes in suit.

"I understand that he must do things alone, but he refuses any help. Some of which is necessary at this time in his recovery." She sighed in frustration. "He has always been this way, however. It's common practice for high nobles to be bath and dressed by attendants, though he's always found the idea abhorrent, never wanting someone to assist with such basic needs. Now that he needs some assistance, he is putting up quite the fuss."

The thought of a prideful yet bratty noble stomping around in dissent was somehow equal parts annoying and humorously endearing. Ichigo snorted and shook his head. "I'll go talk some sense into that stubborn ass of his."

Fujita nodded at this idea. "Yes, I feel as if you will fair better. He responds the best to these things when they're coming from you."

Ichigo and Byakuya had always had their mutual understandings, and it was these similarities that allowed Ichigo the insight on dealing with the fastidious and all to led headed nobleman. Then again, it was also these similarities that ate at each other's skin from time to time.

As he walked towards the room, Ichigo said, "Don't worry, If I can't talk some sense into him, I'll beat it into him."

With arms crossed, Ichigo leaned against the frame of Byakuya's door and watched the man as he fiddled with his hairpiece. Though he could not see, if only out of ritual, he stood in front of a full length mirror with a visibly embittered expression mixed with hints of valor, as If the noble refused to be undone by a simple hair ornament. Seeing the forever stately Byakuya bumbling around might have been funny and bordering on cute if the circumstances were different.

"Having trouble?" Ichigo asked.

In the mirror, Ichigo could see a mortified magenta fill the nobleman's eyes. He smirked, unable to help it.

"Kurosaki Ichigo," Byakuya sniffed, "I thought it was implied that you would meet me at the division."

"How is that implied!?" Ichigo asked, "I'm staying here for now, so it made sense to met you here."

"Then what is your reason for standing there?" Byakuya bit, once again trying to place his hairpiece. "Do you find enjoyment in watching me struggle?"

Ichigo shifted against the door slightly and rolled his eyes. "No, I find enjoyment in being berated by stuffy nobles first thing in the morning."

The hairpiece fumbled in the noble's gawky grasp and tumbled onto the floor with a clank. Ichigo could see the frustration in Byakuya's eyes before he closed them and sighed, letting a long tense silence ensue. "This is ridiculous," he said after a moment, "I can not even don myself appropriately or in a timely manner, and I am expected to be a capable taichou for my squad? Laughable."

As he moved closer to the man, Ichigo frowned. He could see how disappointed Byakuya was in himself. With a bend of the legs, he picked up the hairpiece and placed it in Byakuya's hand. With his other, Ichigo coiled the noble's fingers around the silver. Byakuya turned his head and gave the man a careful, unseeing look. "It'll get easier each time, Byakuya. It'll be hard at first, but you just have to go through the motions until it gets there," Ichigo pointed out rationally. "I'll stand here as long as it takes for you to finish, and if you need help," he scowled," don't be so stubborn as to not ask."

Byakuya's hard face seemed to falter momentarily before he shook his head in descent. "I will not allow others to do something of such little significance for me, but time is of the essence."

"It doesn't matter how long it takes as long as you're learning to do these things yourself."

"How can you say such foolish things?" Byakuya asked, his grasp tightening around the piece. "Of course time matters. A division can not have order without a schedule."

"Then you'll get up earlier!" Ichigo countered, invading the man's space with steady steps. "You'll prepare for your days more the night before." Lowering his voice to a stern urgency, he stated, "You'll do better!"

Byakuya stood there unmoved, stubborn, and stone like. He felt edgy, uncomfortable in his own sin, and not much like himself. Inside of him, there was an itch he could not scratch. "You have this amazing ability of oversimplifying complex situations."

The sound of hand slapping wood rang in Byakuya's ears, and he unconsciously flinched. "Cut the crap, Byakuya!" Ichigo boomed. His body was frothing, a hot spring of frustration bubbling from below the surface. "You're overcomplicating things!" Pausing, simmering, his nostrils flared with heavy, contemplative breaths. "This isn't you," he scoffed. "The Byakuya I know, he wouldn't be pitying himself or be making excuses. He wouldn't give up." Jutting a finger in the man's chest, he continued, "He'd fight tooth and nail, crawl through the dirt, whatever he needed to get back to where he was."

Byakuya shifted with guilt and a lump formed in his throat, but his eyes maintained their steely glaze. "Then perhaps you don't know me all too well."

Ichigo leaned forward and Byakuya flushed a bit at the heat he felt on his ear. "This is because you think you're a burden?" he whispered, "You don't want to heal because you think you're a burden on the people that care for you, and that you're not worth the effort. You don't get to decide that you're not worth the effort for others!" Losing his restraint, he looked into those blood orange eyes and slammed his hand down again. "That's what people do, they lean on each other."

Sighing, Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose. "I get it, wanting to protect people, pushing them away. I did it all the time, but do you think I was out there winning those wars alone? Getting my powers back alone? No, and you're no different. You're not fucking special, Byakuya."

Ichigo pulled a piece of paper from his kosodo an unfolded it, the research he inquired with Urahara's help. "Anthony Clarke, Helen Keller, Trischa Zorn, Tsutomu Aragaki, do you know who these people are?" Ichigo questioned.

Byakuya prompted him with an inquisitive eyebrow lift. "Their fighters, athletes, writers, musicians," pausing, he spat, "and blind!" With a fistful of the captain's haori, he exclaimed, "but do you know what _is_ different? Their human's! You're a shinigami. A fucking god, for kami sakes!" Ichigo's eyes dampened with a passion that turned his voice gritty. "You can do whatever you want, and you have so much worth fighting for."

There was a lot Ichigo did not know. He did not know that the foundation of Byakuya's success was built from the bones of the people he loved. Ichigo did not know the depths of which his desolation grew nor the lengths he had went in molding himself into this cold, detached man. He did not grasp that Byakuya knew no other way to be, that after so long of wearing the mask, it fused with him. It was apart of him. There were so many reasons that Ichigo didn't understand. Each one he'd probably have a perfectly contrived rebuttal for, but Byakuya would never vindicate his feelings verbally.

But Kurosaki Ichigo had this way about him, a tenacity that altered the aura around you, disturbed reality. Pure magic, it was, the way he revived by means of destruction. He'd unintentionally rearrange a person's entire self just by sharing the same breathing space with them, and no one was immune. Without strife, he could shatter a person while simultaneously rebuilding them. He had done this to Byakuya, and if that's not magic, then what is?

Call it naivety, obstinace, what you will, but Ichigo left no stone unturned, no decayed bedrock stagnate in the magnetism of his wake, and when a man like that shook Byakuya with such verve, when he trembled with belief for the noble, Byakuya wanted nothing more than to be the man Ichigo thought he was. Ichigo was special because he never backed down to sorrow and glared resolutely in the face of impossible. In that regard, he was an inspiration, an exemplification of what all in the gotie should strive towards. So for Ichigo to intentionally, almost desperately, try to embark Byakuya's worth on him, he wanted to be just that, worthy. He wanted to deserve it.

Perhaps he would never really change. He'd never tell Ichigo about his ugly, unspeakable parts, and his reasons would still be his reasons, but Byakuya knew sorrow and was adept at overcoming it. He'd go through these motions, crawl inch by inch need be, because when a light that bright directed it's rays towards you, one couldn't help but bask in it.

Ichigo had shown him so much in their short acquaintanceship. Disappointing him was not an option, not when he saw the young man standing there, putting so much stock into him. The idea left Byakuya with nothing but shame and sickness, and he felt so small, needing this man to pick him up, putting Ichigo in a place where he felt the need to stay and help Byakuya out of his pitiful state.

Byakuya knew he'd never see what Ichigo saw, but if even a vestige of that man really existed, he'd allow it to flourish in Ichigo's warmth. He'd obtain the usage of his powers, be the strong man he had always been instead of selfishly succumbing to his own dread. He'd continue on with this painful existence, if only because Ichigo believed he could.

Byakuya looked up to the man with emeralds festooning his eyes. "How did you deal with this, Kurosaki Ichigo," he asked coolly, "living without your powers?"

At the question, Ichigo's grasp released and he took a step back in an attempt to create some space. "I- Honestly, I don't really know. I just did, and I felt.." Ichigo's voice faded into a whisper, "weak, pretty meaningless, actually."

' _Do you not see?'_ Byakuya introspected, _'You too put your whole worth into the protection of people, Ichigo. Always, you have to be strong. Even now, have you once cried over Renji's death? Perhaps when you're alone, but I have to wonder..'_

"Then while I'm without the ability to use my powers properly, the only purpose I'll have is working towards that goal," Byakuya stated matter of factly. The statement was not meant to be self depreciating, but merely the naked truth of what Byakuya was now determined to do. He had not expect Ichigo's response.

"Tch," Ichigo scoffed in disapproval, "that's not true." _'You've been here for me, that's meant so much..'_ "My sister, Yuzu," Ichigo reminisced, the touch of a smile heard in his words, "she was never physically strong, but after my mom died, she held our family together. No one's just purposeful for one thing, and being strong isn't all you are or all that counts. Sometimes it just takes a while to find what that thing is, even if.." he gave a meaningful pause, "it's just being there for someone."

The two allowed a few moments of silence to air out their mixed up energy. Byakuya turned to the mirror once more. "Very well," he said, bringing the ornament to his silken locks. Without turning his head, Byakuya solicited, "Assist me, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo looked on in momentary awe before snorting and walking over. "You nobles, always so demanding."

"We are also timely, which will not happen if I have to spend another ten minutes fiddling with these hairpieces."

Overlapping his hand with Byakuya's gloved one, Ichigo tingled oddly at the sensation of flesh and steel. "Pfh, you could just not wear them, ya know? They gotta be heavy."

Though he was faced away, Ichigo saw the curve of Byakuya's lips in the mirror. "Are you suggesting that the most powerful taichou in the Gotie should be unkempt?"

"Kami forbid," Ichigo responded playfully, "and you enjoy that position as most powerful taichou, I'll be taking that title after you get your bearings." He smirked and clipped the pieces into place. "Which shouldn't take too long, since you're _so_ powerful."

A brilliant gold dust sparkled the nobles eyes. "I do not have time to prove my superiority to you now, _boy._ But I take this as a direct challenge."

Unaware of his actions, Ichigo glided his fingers down one of Byakuya's opulent strands, letting them linger as he kneaded the end between two fingers, enjoying the texture. "Good, I meant it as one," he replied smugly, only to jolt his hand away when he realized just what he was doing.

He stared at his hand as if it was the first time, bewildered at what such appendages were capable of. He had been caressing a strand of Byakuya's hair, and it felt almost natural. The noble's change in disposition captured him, as it radiated with such a breathtaking confidence. To know his words got to the man, if even a bit, made Ichigo melt with undefinable feelings. Was that why? He just didn't understand.

' _What the hell has gotten into me? I'm glad Byakuya didn't notice.'_

Ichigo jerked his eyes from his hand and up towards Byakuya, who had now moved towards the door, when the noble chided, "If you make us latter than we already are, you will not like how I reprimand you, Kurosaki Fukutaichou."

Walking towards Byakuya, Ichigo spat derisively, "There that noble charm I know so well."

 **xXx**

"What are we doing?" As he looked out the window of a horse led carriage, Ichigo slumped back in frustration. "You said you'd explain on the way. I figured we be doing more official stuff, not going on a road trip."

In a manner typical to him, Byakuya folded his hands and closed his eyes. "Do not worry, there will be plenty of paperwork for you to complete too, all in due time."

Ichigo scoffed and sunk deeper in his seat. "Hey, I wasn't complaining. I just usually like to know where I'm going when I get in random carriages, ya know?"

"Oh, and does this happen to you often?" Byakuya asked, a hint of amusement lacing his flat voice.

"Will you just tell me, Byakuya!?" Ichigo pouted, crossing his arms petulantly.

"My," Byakuya pursed his lips to hide a smirk, "how impatient."

The sometimes puerile Ichigo gave a full on growl. "Says the guy who threatened me if I made us late!" Giving the man a probing look, Ichigo took note that Byakuya's eyes were pure gold dust. "You're just doing this for fun!"

"I can not enjoy the scenery," Byakuya poised logically, "I must find someway to entertain myself."

When Ichigo started sulking, muttering under his breath, Byakuya decided to put the man out of his misery. "You would be correct that this is an unusual day," Byakuya explained. "Typically, I delegate the squads into two groups. Each squad is allocated a section of the Rukongai to watch over, exterminating hallows and such, and a section of the living world to perform konsō within. Both groups train with a few seated officer and myself in the morning, breaking up into smaller groups. With my current condition and our depleted membership, my go-seki is handling the training as we speak. Afterwards, the first group performs their daily konsō while certain members of the second group prepares for hallow extermination, which ones depending on the circumstances of the invasion. You will take on a good bit of these duties, but this is not our typical day."

"Obviously," Ichigo snorted.

Byakuya sharpened his eyes and narrowed his brow but just continued. "I'm sure you're not aware of the biggest duty the noble houses retain," Byakuya assumed.

Puffing out his chest and putting on his best Byakuya impression, Ichigo mocked, "Being a shining example of lawfulness and virtue while punishing all those who don't abide."

At the half baked impression, Byakuya let loose a breathy scoff. "If you are going to impersonate me, at least do it correctly. I would never use contractions."

Ichigo smirked and rested his cheek lazily on his coiled fingers while he waffled his gaze from the passing landscape to the noble. "I'll try and remember that."

"It is to protect the power of the Gotei Thirteen," Byakuya went on. "Most shinigamis come from aristocratic houses, and there are two reasons for this. The first reason is higher reiryoku levels are in greater numbers in these houses, the three remaining noble houses holding the most powerful of reiryoku. For this reason, many noblemen from all houses will be forced into marriages in order to produce heirs for the next generation of the Gotei Thirteen."

When he paused, Ichigo mused, "I guess that makes sense, not that I like the idea of people being forced to marry, but I get the need for more members. Still, what's that have to do with what we're doing today?"

"Nothing," Byakuya explained, "the second reason is why we're here. Higher levels of reiryoku create ravenous hungers in konpaku. So many will die of starvation before they reach an appropriate age for joining the academy. I saw this often in my days as a younger officer when I would have missions in the Rukongai. For this reason, I beseeched my clan to start a preliminary school in the lower districts."

Ichigo rectified his sloppy posture to something more attentive at the unanticipated information. "This school, it has a few purposes, one of those is to hone these potential shinigami's abilities, teaching them reiryoku control and the fundamentals of zankensoki to better prepare them for the Shin'ō Academy. Another purpose is to teach advantageous skills, such as healing, gardening, and a handful of other skills like literature and merchantry. This way, even konpaku with low reiryoku can obtain a deftness in survival and maintaining their livelihoods."

A small smile pulled at Ichigo's lips. "You're always full of surprises, aren't you?"

Byakuya tilted his head minutely in question. "And how is that?"

Aloofly, Ichigo shrugged a shoulder. "I just thought a guy like you probably disliked kids, but here you are, building a school so they can not just survive, but thrive. It's nice to be wrong sometimes."

A blood orange as vibrant as a Chinese fire tree burned in his breadth of heather. Ichigo had been unintentionally labeling each color, though it left him feeling somewhat guilty. He did not want to invade the man's emotional boundaries to such a degree, but it couldn't be helped. Purple was irritation. Green was curiosity while blue was sad. Red was anger and yellow was happiness. Gold was amused and magenta was embarrassed. He had identified them all but one, these variations of orange. While he seemed irritated and sometimes happy when nuances of this color appeared, something about them must hold the secrets of an emotion that went nameless. All Ichigo felt when he looked into those embers was an unexplainable intensity.

"Nonsense," Byakuya chided, "every decision I've made is for the progression of the Gotei Thirteen and it's ultimate protection. The more of these konpaku that survive, the more potential soldiers we have, and the more life skills obtained by the ones with lower reiryoku, the less trouble there will be in the Rukongai. This is also beneficial to the Gotei. I would never do something based on frivolous sentiment."

"Sure," Ichigo patronized as he gave a suspicious look, "whatever you say."

Donning a look of disapproval, he went on, "Unfortunately, my clan has only funded one of these schools so far. As of now, this school is under a trial basis."

"You want to make more?" Ichigo inquired.

"Of course," Byakuya verified, "throughout the entirety of the Rukongai if possible. The school has been highly successful, and though it takes an ample amount of resources, this is not the problem. More so, the elders have been weary of putting in the time that is acquired of such a project."

The large vessel shook as it navigated across scabrous roads and filled with the sound of hooves meeting gravel. Ichigo enjoyed it's lulling properties, feeling rather calm in the presence of his new captain. "It's not as if they don't have all the time in the world," Ichigo scoffed.

"Yes," Byakuya said, "I agree."

When Byakuya went silent, Ichigo, with half lidded eyes, observed the nobleman's striking face scintillating in the sun that filtered through the window. His glare was pensive as he rubbed the fingers of his right hand together and across his palm, reminiscing on the feathery sensation of Byakuya's hair against his callused digits. In between deep thoughts of why he would do that and Byakuya's beauty, the moment arrested him.

"More than likely, we will be bringing back a few qualified konpaku with us today. This is my project, so I keep a close watch over it, usually visiting the school bimonthly. This is why I need you here with me today," Byakuya explained, knocking Ichigo out of his trance.

"Because you need me to be your eyes, tell you what these kids are cable of?" Ichigo assumed.

"Yes, there are a few students in my scope, but I need a final assessment."

"Got it," Ichigo nodded. "No matter what your reasoning is, It's still a pretty cool thing you're doing for these kids, starting a school all by yourself."

"I did not create this school myself," Byakuya confessed before reprimanding himself inwardly. It had become all too natural speaking to Ichigo. He was sure he'd spoken more words to Ichigo in the last few days then he spoke to anyone in the past few months. It left him alarmingly vulnerable, and he feared how susceptible he had became to the man. Yet, though it made him anxious, it seemed to flow out of him with reckless negligence.

"Oh yeah" Ichigo cued, "who helped?"

With blue specked eyes, Byakuya responded cooly, "My late wife. It was in the process of finding a location for the school that we met," he found himself explaining. "She was a local healer who tended to many of the children in the area, and therefore, became paramount to the project."

"Oh," Ichigo muttered, feeling guilty for enticing bad memories, "It's nice that you have something you built together to remember her by."

Byakuya gave a contemplative sigh before he said, "I suppose."

Despite the tension caused by mentions of Hisana, Ichigo enjoyed getting to know the nobleman and couldn't find it in him to regret it. That pain and sadness, he could understand it wholeheartedly.

For a while, the two rode in silence until the heavy air dissipated into intervals of comfortably, casual conversation. This went on until the two arrived at their destination.

After coming to a halt, Ichigo hopped out, followed by Byakuya. Ichigo offered his hand, and Byakuya gave a reproving swat. The driver removed himself from the horse and stifled through a compartment. He walked up to the nobleman and extended both hands, in which lied a folded walking cane, much like ones used in the living world only fancier. Once he prompted the noble to take the cane, the man did so with grace, though his eyes revealed hints of embarrassment.

Ichigo walked beside the man, slowing his pace for the other. It was not a drawback of any sort. In fact, Ichigo found himself enraptured by the majestic panorama of the grounds. The preliminary school resided in a valley enveloped by jagged mountain sides cloaked by throngs of dense evergreens.

As they passed through a red torii with kanji reading _children's haven of growth and excellence_ across the gable, Ichigo addressed the oriental garden with a breathless wonder. The estuary was canvassed by Japanese maples fanning out their contorted limbs, whimsical wisteria bark's spiraling into domes of jewel like petals cascading down, and an assortment of other blooming trees and plants. The topiary shadowed the expanse like the looming hand of a guardian angle, creating an ambiance of hopeful refuge.

Ichigo glowered in Byakuya's direction as they walked, knowing how much he would enjoy this sight. By being near Byakuya, Ichigo felt a new level of gratitude for something so simple, something he'd never truly indulged in before, the beauty of the raw nature that made up the world. In the absence of Byakuya's sight and the light of his reverence for the world around them, Ichigo held a new perspective that encouraged slowing down and savoring the small things. This was one more thing he was grateful towards Byakuya for.

"The sakuras are starting to blossom," Ichigo observed as they walked closer to the entrance of the school.

Byakuya closed his eyes against the breeze and inhaled the sweet scents it carried. "Yes, I can tell."

"This place is really something, Byakuya. The kids must like it here a lot." A pause. "I'm... sorry you can't see it."

With eyes still closed, he relished in the euphoric sounds and aromas given off by the area. "There is more than one way to see beautiful things, this, I am sure, you are aware of, Kurosaki Ichigo," Byakuya alluded to Ichigo's gesture with the record player just two days earlier.

Ichigo warmed and staggered when Byakuya opened his eyes to reveal sun yellow specks shining through his grey in the way rays of light break through diminishing storm clouds.

"Y-Yeah, Byakuya, I do."

The harmony of approaching laughter surrounded the two, in which Byakuya responded by stiffly comanding, "And that is Kuchiki Taichou to you, now that we are in the company of others."

"Sure thing, _Taichou_ ," Ichigo mocked with a smirk.

"Kuchiki-sama," two young girls yelled in unison as they galloped towards the men.

As they approached, Byakuya explained one of these girls were up for consideration. When Ichigo expressed his disbelief because of their age, Byakuya assured that they we're much older than they looked, and it had more to do with their mental and emotional age. Like Toshiro, one could look young, but be half a century old. Though their dispositions tended to age as slowly as their physicality, so it depended on each individual.

The older girl, who look biologically twelve, greeted, "I thought that was you, Kuchiki-sama!"

The littler of the two gave the man a strange look. "What's up with your eyes, Kuchiki-sama, and that weird stick?" Looking excited, the young girl wiggled in her spot. "Is it a new weapon? Can I try?!"

"It can be if you irritate me greatly, child," Byakuya warned, earning him a twisted grin from the spunky girl.

"If you can catch me," she gloated, "I've been practicing my shunpo." Getting into place, the girl singsonged, "Now you see me, now you don't," before flashing out and in of their field of vision. Ichigo was actually impressed at the speed of which the girl performed, and at such a young age too.

When she flashed back beside the other girl, Byakuya sighed, "I can not see anything, Maki-san. I lost my vision in the war."

"Really!" the girl exclaimed, "No way." Rudely, the girl made silly faces at the noble, fish hooking her cheeks and wiggling her tongue.

"Stop it!" the older girl admonished, elbowing her shorter counterpart. "I am sorry, Kuchiki-sama, she is just showing off for you. We've all missed you!"

"It is fine, Ueda-san," the noble spoke warmly, "I am glad to be back as well. Perhaps you can show me the crops you've tended to this year a little latter."

With a blush, the girl bowed humbly. "Of course!"

Byakuya leaned in a little closer to Ichigo and asked, "And what of this upstart, is her shunpo up to par?"

Ichigo looked down at the smug tyke with a tiny smirk. "Maybe for a tortoise."

"Hey! What do you know?" the girl growled, pointing up to the man. At first, Ichigo thought Byakuya was just being cold with the girl, but now he could tell she was the type who was revved up by taunting. "And who are you anyway?!"

"This is my Fukutaichou, Kurosaki Ichigo," Byakuya responded.

"Yeah, well, Ic-hi-go, I'm the top student here, Maki Nara, and one day, I'll be the best shinigami! I'll show you!"

"I can't wait to see, kid" Ichigo chuckled.

"Maki-san, I'm here to evaluate the students to see if any are ready to move on to the next step. Go tell the others to prepare," he ordered.

With a fire in her eyes, Nara declared, "Right away, Kuchiki-sama, just wait till you see what I've learned since the last time."

Ichigo noticed the older girl look off in Nara's direction with a sad smile. "Will Maki-san be going back with you today?" the girl asked.

"Nothing is decided yet," the noble responded, "but, yes, I believe so."

She shook her head in resignation and put on a fraudulent smile. "Then I am happy for her. That is where she belongs."

Knowingly, Byakuya empathized, "I understand that you wish you could come too, Ueda-san."

"But I don't have enough reiryoku," she finished, raking her foot back and forth.

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "but this is not all. You also play a key role in this institution. The other children look to you as a leader, and you help keep these grounds running smoothly. I need you here too one day be an instructor yourself."

Watching such a tender moment transpire between the two, Ichigo couldn't help to think this was the most beautiful thing he'd seen all day. Perhaps because the most beautiful things are what you don't expect. Byakuya had read the girl perfectly and seemingly knew just how to comfort her.

"Really?" she exclaimed, her face lightening up. "You think so?"

"I do not say things that are not true. In fact, I have something of great importance for your, but I must make sure you will treat it with care." With a stern, militant look, he ordered, "Stand to attention," and as if the girl had done this before, she quickly took up a marching stance. "Now, hold out your weapons."

As the girl bit back a giggle and held out her hands, Ichigo watched on in bewilderment. Byakuya took a knee and held her hands in his, running a thumb over the tiny palms in inspection. "Hmm," he hummed, "These are the hand's of a seasoned gardener. I do believe I can intrust you with such a task." From the sleeve of his haori, Byakuya pulled out a seed and placed it in the girl's upturned palm.

Her eyes sparked with glee as Byakuya explained, "This is an extremely rare flower, a kadupul, and it takes a master horticulturist to cultivate it. Are you up for the challenge, solider?"

The girl clutched the seed tightly and held it to her heart. "Yes, Kuchiki-sama! I promise when you come back, I will have completed my mission."

"I believe this is true."

Grinning from ear to ear, the blithe girl exclaimed, "In fact, I'm going to go start right now!"

"Very well," Byakuya said, "you are dismissed."

As the girl skipped away, Ichigo poised, "So it's all about the Gotei, huh?"

"Children need purpose to guide them," Byakuya explained, walking forward. "Idle hands make for trouble."

"All I'm hearing is your a big softy," Ichigo chuckled, walking in suite.

"Then perhaps you need to clean out your ears."

"Don't worry," Ichigo smirked, "your secret is safe with me."

The two made their way through the grounds, taking time to visit each individual classroom. The school was constructed in the traditional feudal style of architect and reached four stories high, meaning the examination took quite some time. Byakuya spoke to a few instructors, but mostly asked Ichigo to explain what was playing out in front of them. His answers were sometimes vague, but it seemed to please the noble either way.

It was clear from their visit that the children were happy and well taken care of. They learned a variety of things, from sewing, gardening, and medical aid, to reading, crafts, and history. A lighthearted laughter filled the air, and Ichigo thought it was amazing a place like this could exist within the holds of poverty and crime that made up the lower districts.

The last stop on their visit was the training grounds. Lead by an instructor, the two men stepped into a large dirt covered dome, much like Yoruichi's and Urahara's underground one.

There were a handful of students practicing basic shinigami skills, such as shunpo, hakuda, and low level kidō.

"How is _he_ doing?" Byakuya inquired.

The young and rather attractive instructor situated her sword tied to her obi with a grin. _"He_ is as destructive as always. And as always, he is making my sword hand itchy."

"Ah," Byakuya observed, "I see he has still done no growing up?"

"Small miracles, Kuchiki-san," the woman jested. "His issue is he does not focus on one thing. It's good to be well rounded, but it is better if he tried to have a mastery like most of the students. Instead, he want's to do it all."

"He is very young still. Perhaps in time, he will grow out of this mindset. At least, this is my hope. I'm considering him for my division specifically."

"Everyone here is young, By- Tachiou," Ichigo pointed out.

"Yes, but the boy we are talking about takes on the appearance of a young teen while have only been in the Rukongai for five years. In reality, he is not much older than you," Byakuya explained.

The instructor pointed in the direction of a young man engaged in an intense bout of sword play. He look biologically no older than fifteen and was distinguished by a long main of snow white hair and piercing gold eyes "That's him, Kurosawa Hi-Sora, or as I like to call him, the vein of my existence."

"Crimson sky of the black lagoon. That's a pretty fierce name," Ichigo noted, "but let's see if anything else about him is fierce."

"I did not know you were so hard to impress, Kurosaki Fukutaichou," Byakuya mused.

Ichigo snorted as he watched the spar. "If he's going to have you as a Taichou and survive it, he's gotta be strong."

The nobleman smirked subtly as he listened to the clashing of steel and felt the throb of reiryoku fill the air. He felt secure that Ichigo would be able to discern who was qualified and who was not and put any worries aside as his second in command gauged the performances.

For quite a period of time, Ichigo observed the group from afar with Byakuya making comments about certain candidates he wanted Ichigo to give special attention too. Of course, there was Mika and the Hi-Sora kid, among a few others. Mika excelled at kidō and shunpo, while Hi-Sora was only slightly above average at everything.

"The instructor was right," Ichigo observed, "he's good at a little bit of everything, but great at nothing. I'm not really one to judge that, though, since I pretty much learned none of the basics. Almost everything I've learned has been in the heat of battle."

"You must realize you are a special case, Kurosaki Ichigo?" Byakuya rebutted.

"Yeah," Ichigo snorted, "If by special you mean really stubborn and a little crazy."

The nobleman perked an amused eyebrow on his otherwise stoney face. "A little?"

With an aslant glare, Ichigo chuckled. "You're probably right though. My way isn't the best way. Sometimes I wish I knew kidō for sticky situations, ya know?"

Amongst the clamor of incantations and laborious grunts of students, Byakuya felt a nervous stirring that had nothing to do with the setting. "When I regain full usage of my abilities, I can teach you how to implicate kidō."

Ichigo faltered, albeit fugacious. "Really? You'd do that?" he smiled.

"I am your Taichou, and as such, it is my duty to help prepare you for any situation." A pause. "Though, I do fear the destructive properties such an unruly reiryoku as yours will produce."

"Oh yeah," Ichigo smirked, "you don't think you can handle the challenge of teaching me? Now that doesn't sound like you, Byakuya," he said, forgetting the title. Byakuya couldn't find it in him to care.

"On the contrary," Byakuya rebutted, biting back his own smirk that tried to flagrantly surface, "I believe I am the only one who could. In fact, my main goal in teaching you is so we'll be able to fight on even terms."

"I'm in," Ichigo said, the smile in his voice brightening the energy around them. "I could stand to learn a few thing from an old guy like you. Thanks, Byakuya."

Breaking up the mutual absorption was a gust of wind caused by a shunpo. In front of the two stood a glistening, heaving Hi-Sora. Standing a few inches shorter than them, the lithe teen wore a wild grin as he began to churn down from the rush of battle.

"Hiya, pops," Hi-Sora greeted.

"I am no such thing, and you will not address me as such," the noble warned.

The relaxed fashion of which Hi-Sora addressed the noble reminded Ichigo of the way he'd call Yama-jii gramps. Though it was disrespectful, the teen must feel rather close to the nobleman to call him his father. It seemed many of these kids respected and cared for the Kuchiki lord, and though he hid it behind his usual taciturn speech and facial expressions, Ichigo knew Byakuya cared too.

The teen laughed. "Alright, pop-sama." When Ichigo snickered under his breath, Hi-Sora threw him a look and insulted, "Whatcha laughing at? You look like someone dyed a porcupine orange and glued it on your head."

"Hey! You punk I-"

"Kurosaki Fukutaichou is here to gauge your performance today," Byakuya explained, "so it would be in your favor not to antagonize him."

Finally, he took notice of Byakuya's walking cane and the odd appearance of his eyes. "What gives, pops?"

Exasperated, Ichigo leaned his head back and groaned, "He lost his vision in the war!" When Byakuya addressed his abruptness with a disapproving sigh, Ichigo muttered, "Sorry, I'm just sick you having to go over it again and again. This is like the twenty fifth person today, geez."

As Hi-Sora waved a hand in front of Byakuya's unseeing eyes, Ichigo felt a desire to educate the punk in basic respect, most likely with a fist to the jaw. Ichigo wasn't known for his politeness nor his formalities, but he would never make a mockery of someone's disability.

"No way," Hi-Sora baffled, "that's lame. There's no way you'd be that wea-" His gesture and words were hampered when Byakuya grabbed his shaking wrist, much to the teens surprise and Ichigo's admiration.

"You are right, Kurosawa-san, I am most certainly not weak, vision or not," Byakuya admonished coldly. "Now, unless you would like your wrist to be returned to you without a hand, I would think twice before doing such a thing again."

Hi-Sora grinned as his wrist was released. "I was just messing with you, pop's. I wouldn't want to be in your division if I didn't know how strong you were. So," the teen prompted impatiently, "am I good enough to be in your division yet?"

After considering, Byakuya turned to Ichigo and asked, "What do you think?"

The second in command tilted his head in deep deliberation. Nonchalantly, he judged, "Not good enough."

"What?!" Hi-Sora growled in question.

"You heard me, kid. I said you're not good enough yet," he reiterated.

"Oh, come on," the teen whined, "Is this because of the hair comment?"

Ichigo snorted and wore his typical aloof scowl. "It's because, as of right now, you're not even strong enough to rank as a seated officer. You have a lot of potential, but you should spend sometime at the academy. When you give your full attention to every area at the same time, you're actually just splitting your concentration, and it hinders your ability to get the most out of what you're learning. The quality of your skill is more important than the quantity."

Byakuya perked an eyebrow at the candor way Ichigo assessed and explained the teen's progress. He was equally as impressed as he was shocked to find that, despite his often hot headed ways, Ichigo was rather intelligent. He had not expected for Ichigo to be able to conclude and articulate what specifically made Hi-Sora's method of training so ineffectual.

"Tch, and what do you know?" the teen spat.

"More than a punk like you does," Ichigo asserted, wearing those resolute eyes.

"Oh yeah," the teen condescended, a devious smirk growing on his face, "then why are you about to get cut?"

Ichigo's face twisted at that, but before he could make any moves, a kunai zoomed by his face, nicking the crest of his cheek before it stabbed the ground in front of him.

Blood trickled down Ichigo's face as a young girl with razor straight bangs and emerald eyes flashed in front of him to retrieve the blade. "What the hell?" Ichigo grunted, whirling from the attack.

"Nice strike," Hi-Sora grinned, ruffling the bob of black hair.

"I do not need your compliments," the girl spoke coldly, twirling the kunai on her finger.

"What did I do to you?! You don't just go around throwing blades at people for no reason!" Ichigo proclaimed loudly as Byakuya lifted a finger to his cheek and sent a pulse of healing kidō through the flesh wound.

"Your hair," she tutted, "it's obnoxious and quite the easy target."

Kidō surged through Ichigo's cheek and closed the wound within seconds, prompting Ichigo to look over at a subtly smirking Byakuya. "Did you train this one yourself?" he scoffed, "sounds like something you'd say."

"This is Hayashi Eiko. You did not see her with the rest of the student's training because she is specializing in stealth, as you just found out. I already knew she would be returning with us, seeing as she is the most advanced in her skills. I believe she will fit well with nibantai," Byakuya mused, "yes?"

"Yeah," Ichigo snorted, "her and Suì-Fēng are the perfect match."

"Well then, I believe we have three that will be returning with us today," Byakuya noted.

"You're taking Hi-Sora?" the instructor asked, trying to hide the relief in her voice.

"Yes, Maki-san and Hayashi-san also."

"It's okay," Hi-Sora hummed, "I know you'll miss me, Senpai." Winking, he flirted "I'll miss you too."

The woman shook her head in disappointment as Byakuya cautioned, "The women in Seireitei have actually zanpakuto's and less patience, so I would be careful of who you harass in the future. Now, go prepare to take your leave, both of you."

Hi-Sora rolled his eyes and Eiko bowed before they both walked off, nabbing Nara on the way.

Byakuya was sure he'd always remember this day. Not necessarily because of the events that played out around him, but because on this day, he first desired something he'd go onto desire an innumerable amount of times in the months to come. For no particular reason, just because he wanted to bask in the others charming expression and read the feelings within the twisted lips and fiercely, expressive eyes, he desired to look over at Ichigo and to actually see him. There was no reason behind it at all, and that frightened Byakuya.

Byakuya stood impassively, his gaze anchored. "What do you think of these three choices, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

Rubbing his newly healed cheek, Ichigo said, "Their..uh..all..quirky, that's for sure."

"I am speaking of their fighting prowess. Their personalities have little to do with surviving a battle," Byakuya corrected.

"Yeah, well, I'm more concerned with surviving the trip back," Ichigo snorted in retort.

Byakuya turned towards the exit and began to walk forward with gradual steps. "I'm sure you are equipped to handle a few children, seeing as you are one also."

"Yeah, we- Hey, what's that suppose to mean?!"

 **xXx**

The majority of the school's denizen gathered at the entrance for their teary farewells. Ueda was giving Nara something akin to motherly advice while the younger of the two tried to hide her sad eyes behind a brave face.

"Don't worry, Nara," Ichigo comforted the girl, leaning down, "you'll get to visit here soon. In the meantime, you'll make everyone proud."

"Of course I will," the tyke blushed, pulling nervously at her braided blond locks. "I'm Maki Nara, and I'm going to be stronger than Kuchiki-sama one day."

Ichigo grinned humorously at the moxie filled girl before patting her on the head. "If you train hard, one day you'll get there. You're already as cocky as him, so that's a good start."

He turned to his right and saw the nobleman getting personal drawings and handmade items from a myriad of starry eyed students, all bouncing around the man in idolization. One little girl, who barely came up to the man's knee cap, tugged at the hem of his shihakushō. "I dew yew a pic-ter, I know yew ca' see it, but I wantcha tew hav' it, Kuch-Keww..Kuchichiii..?"

"You are close, Fuji-san. It's Ku-ch-iki-sama." Taking the picture, he dipped his head slightly. "I'm sure it is lovely, you are a promising artist, Fuji-san."

The girl blushed demurely. "Than' yew, Kuchiki-sama!"

The instructor leaned over with a grin and said, "You must come back soon, Kuchiki-san. Most of these kids admire you and half the little girls have crushes on you." Putting on a more lecherous sneer, the instructor added, "And probably even some of the boys too. Hi-Sora is your biggest fan, just give him a good decade to ripen," she winked.

A blush found Ichigo at the implications, but Byakuya merely tutted. "Perhaps I should come less than."

"Ug, are we leaving yet?!" Hi-Sora moaned, arms crossed childishly.

"Yes," the instructor pushed him off, "please. Go now, Hi-Sora."

With one last group goodbye, the five walked towards the carriage. Nara came to a sudden halt and placed two fingers in her mouth, letting out a shill dog whistle. "I almost forgot to say goodbye to Wakame Taishi."

"Wakame Taishi," Ichigo echoed. "Don't tell my you scare these kids too with that bizarre creation of your?"

Byakuya lambasted the man at his side with one deathly glare. Despite the fact it did not quite met his eyes, it still sent shivers through Ichigo.

"Good dietary habits are of the utmost importance," Eiko scolded

"Are you sure you didn't raise this one personally, Byakuya. She's like your clone," Ichigo muttered in annoyance as a floppy eared, stubby legged basset hound trotted up to the group.

Nara, Hi-Sora, and even Eiko petted the dog, Nara plopping a kiss on it's forehead as it gave her affection laps. "This is Wakame Taishi _,_ Kurosaki-san," Nara explained. "He belongs to the whole school and was a gift from Kuchiki-san and his wife when the school was started way before we came here."

"Woe," Ichigo baffled, leaning down and allowing the creature to sniff his hand before it gave him a lick of approval. "You're an old guy, Wakame." He grinned as he pet the dog behind the ear, and it howled happily. "Still kicking, though."

"Alright, Alright," Hi-Sora declared, "last one to the carriage is an unseated officer!" before he shunpo off, the other two at his heels.

Ichigo stared off at the three with a smile before he noticed, much to his surprise, the noble had taken a knee to rub the scalp of the school's adorable pet. "Uh, Byakuya, what are you doing?"

At the strange question, Byakuya rebutted dryly, "I thought it was I whom had the impaired eyesight."

"I just mean, well, um, dog's have germs and stuff," Ichigo mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

"Yes, and they've created this marvelous product called soap. Do you ever use it, Kurosaki Ichigo?" he deadpanned.

Byakuya bit back a smile at the blush he heard inflected in Ichigo's voice. "I guess I deserve that, eh," he chuckled. "I'm just surprised you like animals." _'I should really stop making assumptions of Byakuya based on this haughty image I have of him,_ ' Ichigo introspective, _'especially when I already know he's more than that.'_

As the two walked forward, Byakuya confessed, "I am quite fawned of dogs, actually. It is cats that I despise."

Ichigo grinned at the sincere disgust Byakuya conveyed. "Sounds like there's a good story behind that."

Thinking back to his shameless childhood friend, Yoruichi, Byakuya said cryptically, "Early childhood trauma, perhaps I will tell you about it one day."

"I think you like dogs because their disciplined. Their easy to train and do what you say," Ichigo teased.

"Is that so," Byakuya remarked with a taunting air, "then why can I not reign you in, pup?"

"I'm too feral for you, _Byakuya_ ," Ichigo returned playfully as he leaned in a little closer to the man. The vicinity and the warmth of Ichigo's breath on his cheek made Byakuya's body simmer in oddly unexplainable ways. "So did you ever have one growing up?" Ichigo inquired, "A dog, I mean."

"Ah, no. Having pets is an uncommon practice among shinigamis, but especially in noble households. My training always took priority, and my family would have never agreed to it. So I never inquired one way or another."

As they arrived at the carriage, Ichigo frowned and blinked thoughtfully. "It sound's like you never had a normal childhood if you were training that much."

"That was something I was never intended to have, Kurosaki Ichigo," Byakuya, clad with his habitual forbearing face, explained.

While climbing into the vessel, Ichigo thought _'I guess we really did grow up in completely different ways. It must have been hard for you, but it makes more sense now, the way you sacrifice almost compulsively. That's the way you were taught to be.'_

The endeavor back to Seireitei felt longer than the one from, mostly because of Nara's ceaseless chatter and Hi-Sora's constant flow of mocking retort. At one point, Ichigo was sure Byakuya was going to put a sleeping kidō on the two. It wasn't all bad though. Nara climbed on Ichigo's lap and asked him question after question about the World of the Living, and Ichigo's latent brotherly instincts came out. He'd always been really good with kids. With Eiko, he wished he could relate to her somehow, but he wasn't even sure she was a kid, more like a deadly assassin in a child's body.

The academy was one of the only edifice left undamaged, and with the current school year set to start in a week, students would soon be filling in. For a night or so, Byakuya allowed the three to stay at the mansion. By the time they all returned, the sun was setting and the kids were tuckered out, ready to give into sleep, even the all too rambunctious Nara, who insisted that Ichigo tuck her in. For a saucy, jabber-mouth shinigami in training, when all was said and done, she had the heart of a child.

Once he finished, he found Byakuya perched on his deck in a graceful lotus blossom position. He was taking tentative sips from a sake glass and looked lost in his tranquility, so much so, Ichigo was almost tempted not to bother him. Almost.

"Damn," Ichigo said as he walked up, "did the kid's bother you enough to drive you to drinking?"

Byakuya inhaled deeply, enjoying the relaxing properties of the liquor. "No. I am just attempting to lessen the worked up energy such a day causes."

"Worked up energy, huh?" Ichigo quipped, "Maybe we can give some to Nara, that kid can talk for hours."

"Would you like to have some sake?" Byakuya offered.

For the first time, Ichigo noticed there sat another glass just like Byakuya's, as if the man had expected him or maybe hoped for him to join.

Ichigo settled down beside the man promptly. "I never took you for a guy who'd offer liquor to a minor," Ichigo teased as he poured a glass, quick to indulge in a sip.

"Says the man who just suggested we give sake to a child," Byakuya huffed. Together, under the veil of serene darkness, they say quietly. It was a silence that did not think of itself but merely enjoyed itself, easy and free flowing. "You were good with the children," Byakuya observed.

Ichigo swirled his cup thoughtfully as he swooshed some of the sweet liquid around the dry crevices of his mouth. "I have sisters, so I guess I learned something along the way. I always liked kids."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "It seemed natural for you." A pause. "Is this something you want one day, children?"

A bit of sake caught in Ichigo's throat at the unanticipated question. "Uh, I mean, I'm still pretty young, so I've never given it a lot of thought. But yeah, I guess I always figured it was just something that would happen one day."

Byakuya sat deep in his own thoughts as he took slow, measured sips of sake. "This is not something easily obtained as a shinigami. Most marriages and children are only yielded from arranged marriages, and even so, many spouses die prematurely in the line of duty. Perhaps you should reconside-"

"I know what you're doing, Byakuya," Ichigo interrupted. "Maybe one day I'll find someone I want to have kids with, maybe not, but right now, sitting here, drinking this sake with you, that's good with me." Ichigo's words weighed Byakuya down like a ponderous cloak, both equal parts comforting and stifling. Ichigo let out a refreshed sigh as he downed the rest of his liquor. "Don't get me wrong," Ichigo smirked, "I'm flattered by the concern."

"Nonsense," Byakuya denounced, "have you considered that I am simply trying to get you out of my hair, or more accurately, my house."

"Sucks for you, because I'm a pretty hard guy to get rid of."

"Yes, much like vermin," Byakuya huffed before pressing the cold porcelain rim to his lips.

Ichigo got to his feet and wobbled slightly when the liquored tainted blood rushed to his head. "You don't fool me, Byakuya Kuchiki," he asserted knowingly. "It's late. I don't want to risk oversleeping so I'm going to head off to bed. Good night."

With those departing words, the sound of pattering steps and his own abnormal heart beat were plangent in his frame. A ringing rippled through Byakuya's body and bounce from his tissuey pillars like a church bell resounding from his chest cavity. Such a soft sound in the grand scheme of things echoed so loudly in his confines. "Kurosaki Ichigo," he uttered softly, "tomorrow is the mass memorial, and therefore, all divisions will be on respite. It is a day of mourning, and there is no need to rise particularly early. So, if you would like, you may stay."

Without word, feeling lighter from the offer, Ichigo turned back and claimed his spot. While Byakuya was tethered to the dark, Ichigo lived amongst his own personal blackness also. His painful memories could, at times, bring down such a wrathful rainstorm that it blinded him, kept him lost and aghast.

For that reason, the two sat in quiet darkness, both just content with the closeness and the knowledge that, if even for just a small while, they didn't have to face that frightening, demon filled tenebrosity in solitude, because alone, the dark that surrounded them seemed so deafening, so impregnable.

 **xXx**

 **siwon611: Thank you for the review! It means a lot to hear you like this story so much, and I'm glad you can get behind the slow pacing.**

 **Tifanny91:Hey dear! I appreciate the comment as always, and I totally agree, Byakuya's one of the most well developed characters on Bleach. Writing about him is always a treat, so I'm glad to know you enjoy my characterization of him. Hopefully you'll equally enjoy the development between these two cuties in this chapter.**

 **Meadie: Thank you for such a sweet comment. I wanted their characters to seem real and natural, so I'm glad their coming off that way.**

 **tkhiroshi: Thank you! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **Guest: Haha, Renji could never really die, he's too awesome. :) Thank you for the comment, dear!**

 **xOphiuchusx: Here you are, enjoy**

 **lara5170: Yeah, I know, but hopefully the sweet out weighs the sad.**


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: If you're reading the first half of this chapter and you're thinking that it feels a bit **jarring** and that the **pacing** is a bit off, bordering on **awkward** even, good. I have succeeded. This chapter(the first half) doesn't read like any other chapter in this story. It's short(Which is why it's out so quickly), fast paced, and feels a bit uneasy, but I did this on purpose. I am but a novice, but I'm trying to flex my writing skills a little bit here by changing up the style and formatting to create a mood, a mood that reflects Ichigo's state of mind. Theres a butt load of symbolism and all that jazz. I messed around with a lot of syntax, used a lot of fragments and varying sentence lengths, and jumped around abrutley. It's also pretty stripped down(Again, the first half), lacking a lot of my usual flowery language that I use.(Mostly. A zebra can't change it's stripes.) So just bare with me guys. Hopefully, you can enjoy it for what it is, or at least, for what I'm attempting to do. I wrote this in two days, so I can't say it's perfect. In such a slow paced and detailed story, this kind've change can feel, as I said, jarring, but it can also hold a lot of weight. Tell me what you think!

On a lighter note, these stubborn boys are getting just a tad bit closer to realizing their feelings. Hmm, I wonder who will realize it first. ;) Maybe you can guess.

Tearms:

Reishi: Sprit particles. Basically what we would consider atoms. Their the smallest unit of life, and all things in the spiritual realm are made of them.

 **Song: "Breath me" by Sia.**

 **Even God's Cry in the Dark.**

 **xXx**

" **Be my friend.**

 **Hold me, wrap me up,**

 **unfold me.**

 **I am small and needy.**

 **Warm me up**

 **and breathe me"**

 **xXx**

It was just a moment. The briefest of flashes. Suspended in between sleep and consciousness, swallowed up by a hand spun silk duvet, bewitched by wafts of jasmine, captured and blissfully oblivious in the face of the analeptic calm that was the Kuchiki estate, Ichigo felt at peace.

Illusions shattered. Awareness sounded upon him like a blaring siren. His eyes popped open and his feet hit the floor.

Halcyon days were no more.

In a blur of mindless movements, Ichigo was purged, filled, and garbed. He was ready. Flash steps left everything in an indiscernible swirl as he dashed through the desolate halls of the mansion. With no one to watch out for, he sped up.

In moments, he arrived on the steps of the manor. His eyes had to adjust to the haze of sorrow that filled to milieu. Everything was still, and there was a deep seated, almost tangible quietness that felt wrong to the senses. Even the birds fell silent.

At the bottom of the steps stood Rukia obscured by rolling billows of fog. Ichigo approached the solitary girl. She stayed motionless as she looked at the drab sky opening up. There was no sun to be seen.

As a raindrop kissed her cheek, she closed her eyes and said, "Even the sky is in mourning."

"We'll meet up before the memorial, I have some things I need to do."

She frowned. "What could you possibly have to do today?"

"Just things. Don't worry, I'll see you later."

"People are gathering mementos to put around the tree's Nii-sama planted. People heard about them and started pouring their reiatsu into the seeds, so they've started to grow." Her eyes stung in an unusually naked way that had Ichigo averting his gaze. "I thought we could go through Renji's things together, pick out something to bring."

"Maybe," he clipped and forced a smile. "I have to go."

And in the blink of an eye, go he did.

Ichigo jumped from roof to rocky roof, most barely holding up after the damage they received in the war.

Thoughts seemed to rocket in and out of Ichigo as fast as his steps. They were forced and uneasy. Distractions. They did not sound like him. His actions imitated normalcy on this very not normal occasion. They were spurious and fast, robotic even. They were stiff choreography, awkward in their perfection.

' _What will I say when I get there?'_

Faster.

' _I'll get him to leave today.'_

Jump.

' _I wonder what he'll say about my plans.'_

Breath

' _And if he'll go to the..'_

Think of something else.

The depressive prison cells were equally as barren, guarded by only one man.

He walked up to the man whose face was chilling sedated. "Ishida," was all he said.

The guard simply nodded and opened the door. Together they walked down a corridor of empty cells. Ichigo focused on the cold prickling of his skin, and the echo of his footfalls in comfortless enclosure was all he could hear.

In front of the only occupied cell, they halted. "It's unlocked," the guard muttered, before walking off.

Ishida Uryu was situated on a futon pressed up against the back of the wall. Ichigo's eyes locked with those of the sequestered man.

"Kurosaki-san, for what do I owe this honor?" Ishida's whole demeanor reeked of sarcasm.

"I'll do you the honor of letting you walk out of that cell before I kick your ass out of it myself."

The man snorted, but noticed how unusually tame the other was, even while dishing out threats. "I see you still think you can punch through all your problems."

"It's always worked for me in the past." When the quincy said nothing, Ichigo's throat clenched with controlled hostility. "You have to come today."

Uryu blinked a few times. "The shinigami's don't want me there."

"Who gives a shit about what they want? Renji would want you there."

He looked pointedly into Ichigo's eyes and noted how they looked as estranged as his own. " He doesn't want anything. Renji's dead," he uttered carefully.

Ichigo's hands rattled. They needed to grasp onto something. A hilt. A throat. Anything. They finally decided on the smut varnished bars.

The way Ishida said it, tentatively, almost timidly, like he was coaxing an unstable mother out of denial after the lose of a child, it was insulting. Ichigo knew. How could he not? Yes. He knew.

He did not dwell, but he knew. So he refused to be handled like a cracked vase on the verge of shattering because of that.

"So what," Ichigo growled, "you're just going to sit in this cage for days on end, right?"

"The quiet is nice," Ishida sighed.

His hands loosened a bit. "I'd usually agree, but lately, it's fucking maddening. You already know what you're going to do, Ishida-san, you're just hiding out."

The quincy pushed up his glasses and gave a full body sigh. "You're right, Kurosaki, I do know what I'm going to do."

A hush fell over them once more. This day was full of strained silences. Each one more throttling than the last.

"You don't have to do it," Ichigo whispered, and Ishida jolted as a result.

"Usually I'd tell you to take responsibility, but this.. you didn't ask for any of this."

"No one asked for anything that happened in the war," Ishida quivered.

"I know you will though, you'll do it." He smirked at the questioning look thrown his way, reasoning, "Too much quincy pride."

"It's what my Ojiisan would want. He always talked about it, a world where quincys and shinigamis respected each other. I can't walk away from this." A pause. "You don't have to either, you know?"

Ichigo cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "I overheard one of the guards gossiping about how you took a position in the Gotie, under Kuchiki Byakuya of all people."

"..I.. wanted too." Vaguely, he explained, "A lot of stuff has happened."

Ishida found his footing, saying, "I won't ask you to explain." He walked over to the bars, stepping from the shadows for the first time. "If you're willingly working for Kuchiki-san's brother, It be a humiliation to sit here hiding out any longer."

A jarring laugh left Ichigo, making Ishida frowned defensively. "And what's so funny?"

"Ah..shit..you just look..so much older."

Ishida snorted. "Because you look so much better? For a moment, I thought I was looking at your father."

"I change my mind, stay in that damn cell," Ichigo scowled.

The quincy rolled his eyes and stepped out. Neither moved to leave. "I'll help you," Ichigo finally said.

Ishida perked an eyebrow. "This isn't exactly your area, but If I need someone to be punched, I'll let you know."

"I'm not kidding, Ishida-san. You have a responsibility, but I have one too." Boldly, he exclaimed, "It really get's on my nerves how everyone treats me like I'm some celebrity, but I realized, I have a chance to make my time here worthwhile. Intolerance got us here in the first place, and the war only made the shinigami more fearful of outsiders. I'm part quincy, shinigami, and hollow, and people respect me here. I can't walk away from _that._ Maybe..I could help mend some bridges."

"You.." he baffled, "..want to play politics?"

Ichigo shrugged a shoulder. "What? Like it's hard."

"It takes tact, patience, charisma, none of which are your most attuned traits."

"Hey! I'm charismatic."

Ishida snorted. "You have the charisma of a table lamp. You're rather aloof or scowling a good ninety precent of the time."

"So what," Ichigo howled, "you're saying you don't want my help?!"

"On the contrary, you do seem to have this uncanny ability to make people believe in you, follow you even. So," Ishida looked up resolutely, "I'll believe in you too."

Ichigo smiled. A real smile. "Let's get out of here, this place is giving me the creeps."

"I found it soothing," Ishida confessed, taking quick steps beside his friend. "It's less terrifying than what we're going to face out there next. I always thought, after the war, if we survived, things would go back to normal."

"I guess..normal just wasn't in the cards for us."

With no words, the two men swiftly made their way to the exit, united in friendship, isolated by their pain.

Ishida turned facing away from Ichigo. "I'll be watching from the shadows. I won't be the reason there's a huge uproar at the memorial."

Ichigo stay silent. There was no need for words. But before he moved away, Ishida asked, "Kurosaki-san, how is Inoue-san?"

The air instantly felt like sandpaper. Ichigo frowned, feeling cold against the warm drizzle. "She took everything pretty badly. But you know Inoue-san, nothing can bring her down. She's always smiling."

"Perhaps on the outside, but that is what makes her so strong, the way she shines through all the darkness around her."

"..You should go visit her soon. You were always better at reading her than me, spent more time with her than me. She needs someone like that right now."

"You don't need to big brother her. Inoue-san doesn't need anybody," Ishida asserted, "but I'll go anyway, because I want to." And with that, the two went their separate ways.

Over a thousand corpses went up in flames, and though Ichigo never wanted to know such a smell, he knew he'd never forget.

The scent was carved into his memory.

Charred flesh tickled his nose. Rain, steady and unforgiving, poured. Wet Onslaught and crinkling flames were the only sounds. Rukia's body shivering against his was the only feeling.

Like a mantra, he repeated, "It's going to be okay" to the crying girl. It was a truism. An anchor. Comfort.

A distraction.

The deadly pyre raged against the reviving downpour. It did not falter. It did not back down. He watched the two elements battle for dominance in a daze. The rain never had a chance.

"It's going to be okay."

There was no solace or closure yielded from the scene. It was dark and morbid. He felt hauntingly numb at the sight.

Cold.

Distant.

Uneasy.

"It's going to be okay."

There seemed to be patches in his memory. Intervals of pure blackness. When did he get here? How?

He looked around at his comrades. Byakuya stood under an umbrella. His eyes were closed, and he felt both simultaneously remote yet consoling.

"It's going to be okay."

A drunk looking Ikkaku stood nearby. Misery was as blatant as his intoxication, and Zaraki, for all of his callousness, held the man up.

Faces became blurred and lost in the showers. Suddenly, he was alone.

Blinded.

Cut off.

Even Rukia huddled against him had became indiscernible. Only the thrum of the girl's palpitating heartbeat gave evidence of her vicinity.

He was asunder. Alone in the darkness. It was only his senses and regurgitated platitude that kept him hinged.

"It's going to be okay."

Ichigo went stumbling across the Kuchiki garden. Shock was evident in his gaped features. That shove, it caught him off guard. That face, those disdainful purple eyes surging, it stopped the rapid, thoughtless ticking of time sweeping by.

It was so unceremonious, unforeseen, and unprovoked. The action jerked him.

If she wanted his attention, she had it.

"What the hell, Rukia? Mind telling what's gotten into you?"

"You," she pointed. "You're my problem. I'm sick and tired of you coddling me."

Ichigo stood bewildered. Beyond that, he was too startled to register anything else. "What?"

"Renji," she choked, "every time I bring him up, you change the subject." She inhaled sharply. "He deserves to be mourned!"

Ichigo sparked. Embers of searing outraged flickered inside his chest. Control became muddied. Composure seemed lost. "You don't think I mourn him!?"

"No, I know you haven't," she shot back. "You don't want to deal with it, with your feelings, with his death, but don't you think he deserves our tears?"

"Says the girl who always slaps me around when I'm feeling sorry for myself," he condescended. "Crying won't bring him back!"

Her eyes darkened with anger, and her reiatsu hissed. Face flushed and body shaking, in an instant, she delivered another blow to Ichigo's tightening chest. "This is different! You had people to save, a world to protect. Sorrow just got in the way. Renji.." she whispered, "he was our friend. I..I want to reminisce about him, laugh about all the goofy things he did, cry over him. There's no more battle, no one left to protect, just us and these memories we have to live with! I won't just forget him, and I'm sick of pretending like it doesn't hurt all the time. You're the only one I can talk to about this..and.. He was my..best friend..and he's just gone.." losing it, she bellowed, "and you're pretending like it never even happened!"

"Rukia," a steely voice emerged.

"Nii-sama.." she startled, looking at her impassive brother standing on the newly dampened earth.

"I believe you and Kurosaki Ichigo both have had a stressful day. You'll stay in one of my guest room for the evening instead of heading back towards your division."

It wasn't a suggestion.

"Nii-sama, I-"

"I will not tell you again. You are overworked and mentally taxed. Retreat now, and Fujita-san will show you to your usual room."

And retreat she did, leaving behind nothing but animosity and festered emotions.

Ichigo felt sticky.

Mixed up.

Volcanic.

Only an instant ago, Rukia was yelling at him dead in the face, and before he could even perceive what was really going on, she had vanished, leaving Ichigo upside down.

His thoughts were convoluted, his senses rewired, his body weak. Spinning and breathless, he attempted to keep up with the celerity of which the world hurtled on it's axis. He was losing pace, losing _it._ Composure, all the tethers that held him together, they dwindled.

' _I just wanted to be strong for everyone..'_

' _I didn't want to lose it like this, get caught up in my own emotions.'_

' _I just..'_

"Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo snapped from his trance. "What?" he snarled.

Byakuya was a bolder, eyes unfixed, posture inhuman. His control, it taunted Ichigo. "Do you not think you are being..immature?"

That was it. That one sentence stirred a rage that could not be contained. "What!? I'm Immature? ME!?" He paced in front of the man. Back and forth. Side to side. He trampled the ground with a raw intensity. "Tch! What about her? I was trying to keep it together, stay strong for her. Everyone has enough to deal with without me blowing up at every little thing!"

"This is not strength," the noble insisted cooly, "you are volatile, ready to blow in an instant because you do not deal with your troubling emotions."

Byakuya spoke with candor. So matter of factly. It grated at Ichigo's last withstanding nerves.

He let out a mock laugh.

A harrowing dry chuckle.

"What the hell do you know? The Prince of Silence himself telling _me_ how to deal with feelings. Fucking hilarious." His jaw tightened, but Byakuya remained unfazed.

"I know, this fact only cements how pathetic this truly is."

Without thought, Ichigo's fist flew into a nearby tree.

Again.

And again.

Over and Over.

"Bravo, Kurosaki, you are finally expressing yourself." Byakuya goaded, "Go ahead, destroy the whole garden if it appeases you. Perhaps once you are done, it will have filled the hole Renji's death left in you."

"Don't you fucking mock me," Ichigo warned, blood dripping from his fingertips.

"And once you're done here, if you are still unpleased, you can decimate my mansion also. You will hear no protest from I."

"Byakuya, I'm warning yo-"

"Destroy the whole world if you must, it will never destroy your sadness. There are not enough punches you can throw that will defeat the misery you feel."

Ichigo had heard enough. He grabbed the man by the fabric of his yutaka and looked into those wry, almost taunting eyes. His breath quickened, nostrils flared, and clutch tightened. His eyes stung with brimming tears and his heart rang like a time bomb.

"There's only one person I want to punch right now!" Ichigo yelled.

"If you feel the need to hit me," Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes, "I will not stop you."

And then his eyes opened. Deep and vibrantly painful eyes matched his own. Those eyes were imploring, silently pleading. They were comfort and slate gray empathy, ablaze with fiery cinder. When Ichigo looked into those eyes, they cradled him. They wanted nothing but the best for him. They built him up.

"But I do not believe this is what you truly want."

And those words, they broke him down. His legs became wobbly, and his throat scorched. He fought for every breath as violent sobs besieged him.

' _Breath_ '

He gasped.

' _Damn it, breath..'_

He sucked hopelessly as his heart tried to escape it's cavity. Lips trembled, stinging from saline.

' _I can't..'_

His chest caved in.

His skin was too tight.

' _Stop crying, I need to..'_

Heat consumed him. Everything was so constricting.

Lights.

Sounds.

They assaulted him.

The ground became weaker, and his body couldn't fight the weight of gravity.

' _I'm going to pass out..if I don't..'_

He did not trust his own feet.

Sinking.

Wallowing.

Down he went, drowning in the panic.

He clawed desperately onto Byakuya's chest as two strong arms wrapped around his waist and led them to their knees, letting himself crumble into the other ones protective hold.

In the chaos of the moment, Ichigo ended up seated with his back against Byakuya's chest and with the nobles strong hands overlapping his palms, one situated over his heart and the other his diaphram.

Byakuya arched his neck over the man's shoulder and tilted his face towards Ichigo's. "Kurosaki, look at me."

Ichigo did so without hesitation. He was still gasping, sobbing, throbbing from limb to limb.

He was ice cold.

Whirling.

Rasping.

Someone was choking him, he was sure. His body was trying to kill him from the inside.

"Follow my breathing."

Byakuya's voice was soothing. His chest and hands we're steadying. They reached him.

"In...out..in..out.."

These raging thoughts were trying to bust through his chest.

Ichigo struggled for each sharply drawn breath. They became longer, jagged, as if they could fall apart at any moment.

"In..out..in..out.."

The body wrapped around his, those bottomless eyes, they warmed him.

"In...out...in...out.."

His body tingled and melted against Byakuya's. His heart beat dropped. Fluid streams of soft tears flowed. Thoughts vaporized into a velvety, listless hum.

"Good. You're doing well."

His chest found it's normal rhythm. Everything stilled. His nose brushed against Byakuya's as he blinked a few time, looking deeply into Byakuya's eyes with his exasperated ones.

They gleamed with yellow.

They were happy, happy he was okay.

In those eyes, he felt safe and sound.

Gradually, bit by bit, time stopped spiraling uncontrollably.

Time stopped moving completly.

 **xXx**

Ichigo wasn't sure how long he sat there, his head leaned against Byakuya's shoulder, enjoying the lull of the noble's reposeful heartbeat. It was a struggle not to fall asleep in the man's arms, as he now felt utterly drained of all the venom keeping him restless. There was no agitation, anger, nor elation, just a contemplative contentment.

He'd never engaged in something so intimate with a friend. Ichigo was never held like something precious. Never was he splayed out bare with all of his insecurities on display, only to have them accepted fully. He was always the strong one, the one cumbered by the burdens of others, because he felt as if he had to take on everything. Pound by pound, his legs couldn't withstand the strain. Now, collapsing within Byakuya's patient and forgiving touch, Ichigo felt weightless. In fact, if not for the man's arms encircled around his waist and his hands twining with Ichigo's, he was sure he might float away.

It wasn't since his mother that he felt such refuge in someone's proximity. It felt oddly similar, only not quite, and perhaps Ichigo should have questioned this, felt awkward in such a cherished embrace, but he didn't have it in him. He didn't care who saw or if it was taboo. He marooned all pretenses. He did not try to label or justify this comfort. He especially didn't take heed in the idea that this was somehow inappropriate or wrong. How could he, when everything about it felt right?

The most magnificent part of it all was that Byakuya let him. A man who put so much stock in appearances, he held onto Ichigo, settled in and never once attempted to coax the man up, because he knew Ichigo needed it. It didn't matter how it appeared from the outside.

Unlike all the other silences, this one felt creamy, euphoric. It seemed to exist within a vacuum that gave no credence to the world around them.

It was only when the sun set and the dark enveloped them that Ichigo noticed life was still shifting outside of their hold. "Ever since my mother died, I've always been like this."

Ichigo's voice breaking the muteness almost felt wrong after such a long span of time. His words were even more startling. Byakuya began to tell the man that he didn't have to tell him if he did not desire, but he knew Ichigo wouldn't have said anything if he did not want too. Just as Ichigo knew that Byakuya would never push him into speaking about what troubled him. It seemed Ichigo had something to say, some residue to scrap from his soul, and finally, he felt both compelled and comfortable enough to give it life.

There was a lengthy pause, but Byakuya stayed wordless, knowing Ichigo would continue when he was ready.

"I could never stand the idea of losing someone I cared for again, because I was too weak. I always wore a cool face, pushed people away. I never dealt with my emotions about things, and I just pretended like everything was okay." He scoffed in a self loathing manner. "That's the reason I broke down when my powers were stolen by the fullbringers and the Quincy king. I..just couldn't deal, I didn't even know how."

"I always hid behind anger and confidence. Anger was easier than being sad, I guess," he explained. "Expected. There's Ichigo, just being a hot headed brat. It was normal."

"But there was more to it," Byakuya concluded.

Ichigo nodded and reflexively tightened his hands around Byakuya's. "After the war, seeing all the misery, I don't know, I thought it was time to grow up a little. I guess I was just fooling myself."

Byakuya sat ruminating, and Ichigo could feel his balmy, sweet breath caressing the back of his neck. "I do not think there is anything wrong with the way you are." Ichigo warmed even more at that. "Of course, growth is important, and there is always room to better oneself. It is just..If you suppress parts of yourself, you are only doing just the opposite. You can not simply squander these emotions, because in the end, it will only hide who you truly are. They are apart of you."

' _Trust that I know this from experience.'_

"I wish it was that easy for me," Ichigo muttered.

Softly, soberly, Byakuya said, "If you find the world to much, my mansion will always be a haven for you, Kurosaki Ichigo,"

A breath caught in Ichigo's throat at the meaning behind the words. He couldn't help but to smirk. _'You mean, you will always be there, Byakuya.'_

"The same goes for you, Byakuya. I'm here, ya know, if you ever need someone to vent to." Byakuya said nothing, but that was okay, Ichigo knew there was gratitude in that lack of response. "Byakuya..I'm sorry..about what I said earlier. I shouldn't have shown my ass like that."

"You need not apologize, I am use to such flagrant ass showing from you." Hearing the noble curse for the first time ever made Ichigo chuckle and grin shamelessly. "And I suppose I purposefully instigated such a reaction."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, "but I get why you did it now."

"Sometimes it takes crumbling before you can reconstruct into something better," the noble voiced.

While at first, Ichigo felt a numbing calmness, drained from such a geyser of emotions, he now was starting to feel more attuned with his senses, with the sadness that plagued him.

"I.. miss Renji," Ichigo rasped.

Byakuya could hear the dewy tension in Ichigo's voice, and it banged at his own heart. "I, also, miss him."

"I just don't get it," Ichigo gritted, "he's just gone, and what does any of it mean? What do we get powerful for when it doesn't even matter?"

Byakuya sighed. He could understand Ichigo's feelings, for Byakuya was Renji's taichou. Along with numerous other members of his division, he failed to protect him. Renji, over something as foolish as loving Byakuya, met death prematurely.

"Have the clouds diminished?" Byakuya inquired.

Ichigo tilted his head up. "Yeah, why?"

"And can you see the stars?"

"Yeah.." Ichigo answered, obviously confused.

Byakuya closed his eyes and dipped his head, bringing it closer to Ichigo's. "Did you know that all of the materials in both the human and spiritual world, such as atoms and reishi, they only live today because of the death of a star? This is also true when a person dies, their atoms or reishi disperse and make something new." Amidst Ichigo's puzzled silence, Byakuya explained, "There is great dignity in death, because whenever something dies, their matter gives way to new life. Just as you hold atoms from the ashes of that first star, from hundreds of those who have lived and died before you, Renji will also do the same for others."

Byakuya was close enough to Ichigo to hear muffled tears escape him, and he tightened his arms around the young man. "I know this fact does not abate the pain, and I will not pretend as if I have not been touched by my own remorse and guilt." Hesitantly, he said, "It was I, after all, who caused the explosion in which took the lives of so many." Ichigo's chest clenched at that. He hadn't even remembered that or thought of how heavily such a thing must have sat on Byakuya's heart. "However, when there is life, there will always be death, and when there is death, there will always be life. Renji both gave life while he was alive and when he died, and it would be a dishonor to his name to suggest that his death was meaningless. Just as you would not blame me for his death, you can not blame yourself."

' _I wish I could just think like that. Even you, Byakuya, I'm sure you'll always feel that guilt too, even if it's illogical. It's just the kind've men we are, but still…'_

"Thank's Byakuya, that made me feel better." He smiled subtly, lifting his head up to look at the other man. "I didn't expect you to get all philosophical on me."

"This is not philosophy, but the basic laws of physics. Perhaps you should roam around the Kuchiki library and attempt to read a text book."

"Why would I do that when I have you?" Ichigo quipped, "You're like a walking encyclopedia."

"Is this you admitting that I am more intelligent than you?" Byakuya smirked just barely.

"No," Ichigo chuckled, "just that you're slightly more entertaining than reading a science textbook."

When the noble returned a shallow yet earnest chuckle, Ichigo's heart fluttered. All of a sudden, he became painfully aware of their position, making his gut twist and his face flush. Every bit of that calmness morphed into an awkward bashfulness that he'd never experienced before with anyone else.

It was different when it was comfort, but this extended beyond that. Holding one another, It was pleasure, an unadulterated joy that had came so naturally and freely.

Ichigo cleared his throat and scurried to his feet a little too quickly for it to seem normal. If Byakuya was bothered, his face betrayed nothing, and it was too dark to see into his eyes as he looked down upon the man.

"We should probably go in," Ichigo gave an out of place chuckle, "before they think we killed each other out here."

Byakuya's face went hard as he stood and preened himself. After reaching into the pleat of his yutaka and pulling out his walking cane, he unfolded the device and nodded in agreement. "Yes, lets."

The two walked back together, and when the time came for them to go their separate ways, Ichigo felt that strange nervousness again, as if there was more he should do or something he should say. What, he was not sure of.

Quickly, he stammered, "Thanks Byakuya, I...enjoyedmytimewithyou. Good night!" before flashing away, biting his lip, and berating himself for how dumb that sounded.

Byakuya, slightly confused by the weird behavior, stood alone in the dark hall way. He understood though, they had been curiously tender with each other. Certainly Byakuya couldn't remember the last time he felt so close to someone, not since Hisana, but perhaps this was just the dynamics of an extremely devoted and close friendship. It had been such a long time since he had one, and never had there been one in which someone forced him from the comfort of his veneer to such an extent.

It was frightening and new, and his good senses knew he should pull away, but he also knew he wouldn't. It had gone too far, and frankly, he just didn't want to. These feelings towards Ichigo were enigmatic, but one thing was certain, Ichigo was his friend. Not that Byakuya would tell him that.

Before he retreated to his room, the tiniest smile lit up his face. "I, too, enjoyed my time with you, Ichigo."

 **xXx**

 **Tifanny91: Hello my lovely friend! As always, thank you for your sweet and thoughtful comments. I agree with you that Byakuya is a low key sweetheart. His wife was a commoner, so I always wondered how he met her. Perhaps on a mission or something, but either way, the fact that he could love a commoner so much to go against his families rules just shows that he's not this stuck up noble that everyone views him as. It also shows that he's not blind to the troubles of others. Their feelings are subtle, but at the same time, blatant. Just not to them. Ichigo's never been in love and Byakuya, even though he has, is sideswiped by the differences in those two relationships and the feelings attached to them(Because, as I said in this chapter, he see's Ichigo as a friend, so his mind will take a while to catch up with his heart. Also, I'm a firm believer that Hisana was never in love with Byakuya. It's up for debate, but I always thought it wrecked him.) Hmm, I think you're onto something about the orange in Byakuya's eyes, but how fun would it be if I ruined it for you? ;) Im glad you liked the cute fluff, this chapter is pretty much fluff overload, so hopefully you like this too!**

 **Secret Companion: Yasssss, there is so much fluff in this story lol, but It needed it to counterbalance all the sadness. Thanks for the review!"**

 **siwon611: First off, let me say, I'm really sorry about your lose. When something like that happens, theres no easy way to get through it or much of anything people can say to make it better. I'm honored that my humble piece of fiction gives you a moment to forget your troubles. It's reasons like this that I write fan fiction in the first place. Sometimes I feel lame that I put so much time into it, but knowing it makes someones day makes it worth it. Plus, only me and like one other fan fiction author are currently keeping this ship alive on this website. lol. No one writes for these guys much any more. Someones gotta do it. Thank you for your comment, love!**

 **LustfulAvarices: Thank you! You flatter me :) Don't worry, you'll get so many hints. By the time they get together, I imagine people will be bloody frustrated. lol.**

 **Magician Girl Mirani: Let me say that I'm genuinely flattered that you consider this one of the "good or enjoyable" Byakuya Ichigo fan fictions. It's also really cool to know that someone who is vision impaired actually reads this and even cooler that you think I do well by the subject matter. This is both a love story and a story about moving on from tragedy in all it's forms. So I'm worried about the balance and how much I make it about Byakuya's blindness, since there is so much other stuff going on. It'll always be apart of this story, his recovery, his frustrations, but as he grows, it'll become about more also. I'd definitely would love your feedback in the future, as someone who's keen to what it's like to be blind. Ah, in fact, your seeing eye dog gave me a great Idea. Funnily enough, I had already intended on having Ichigo get Byakuya a dog, only much later on, but now I think I'll have to alter this idea. Thank you for your lovely comment!**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: So can I just tell you guys that I love writing these dialogue heavy stories. It just makes Byakuya and Ichigo's relationship feel so much more authentic. I want the reader to feel like their falling in love with them. More so, I could write this half hearted banter all day. I feel like it fits their characters well, and I hope you guys agree.

I also love writing for Fujita because she's totally the mother who, if she accepts you, sits there and shows her son's partner old baby photos. Theres also a flashback in this chapter! Which makes me happy because most of my stories utilize flashbacks pretty heavily, and this one has been lacking. Also, theres a mini time skip, like a few days. You'll see this often as the story progresses, each one a little longer than the last. It's a pacing thing.

If you thought this story was done with it's angst, you're about to learn today. Don't be mad at me! Seriously, I just can't help myself, and you've been forewarned. lol

' _ **This'**_ is a memory, ' _this'_ is a thought. The flashback is in italics and completely sectioned into it's own scene .

Oh god, guys, since I've been injured and stuck at home, I've been working on this story for pretty much ten hours straight .(Send thoughts and prayers. lol) My eyes are about to fall out of their sockets, so if you note any drastic grammar mistakes, let me know.

Since this is my most popular story, I'm going to advertise myself a bit and pitifully beg my readers to check out the other two stories I'm focusing on right now. (Double-Sided Vigilance and The Ballad of the Beauty and the Brat.) Their both A.U's, if you're into that sort've thing. DSV Is a crime/romance, and it's neat because you get to learn a lot about Japan's culture while reading it.(Seriously, the amount of research I've put into that story is sinful.) And TBBB is a dark comedy sort've, ands it's about college students in a band, falling in love and playing music and all that jazz. Of course, their both ByaIchi smut.

Side note: I'm in mourning/denial about how Bleach ended. As a writer, I feels so bad for these characters and their complete forced development given at the end. Sooo I'm choosing to pretend it didn't happen. Cool? Cool.

And lastly, before I stop my rambling, I'm going back to school tomorrow. I also should be returning to work in the next couple of days. I hope I'll be able to write as much as before, but I make no promises.

 **Terms:**

blut and ransotengai: Quincy defensive techniques. Blut is basically a reish blood clot that acts as armor. Ransotengai is a technique that allows the user to use reish strings to maneuver their limbs if ever they get paralyzed.

 **Song: Florence and the Machine "Shake it out."**

Good vibes ~ Ashes.

 **The Thing's the Darkness Gave Me.**

 **xXx**

" **Regrets collect like old friends,**

 **here to relive your darkest moments.**

 **I can see no way, I can see no way,**

 **and all of the ghouls come out to play**

 **And every demon wants his pound of flesh,**

 **but I like to keep some things to myself.**

 **I like to keep my issues drawn.**

 **It's always darkest before the dawn**

 **And I've been a fool and I've been blind.**

 **I can never leave the past behind.**

 **I can see no way, I can see no way.**

 **I'm always dragging that horse around."**

 **xXx**

The next few days went by in a haze of half hearted, snippy banter and division duties for Byakuya and Ichigo. Everything was still fresh and, most of the time, difficult to adjust too for both men. While Byakuya was stumbling around in practically a whole new world, relearning how to live, Ichigo was too, just to a smaller degree.

Getting up before sunrise, training, leading a platoon, digging himself out of mountain of paperwork one careless signature at a time, getting only four hours of sleep a night, these were all unusual costumes for him. It would be a while before these adjustments became mere ritual.

Other than the occasional grumpy comment Ichigo would make as he was attempting to wake up, he never complained. Because as exasperating as the whole change was to his system, he never wavered in his belief that this was where he wanted to be. In fact, Ichigo enjoyed his time around the Kuchiki lord, and even though they had their moments of mutual irritation towards each other, they both felt a calming warmth in the presence of the other. Their encounters were unconscious, fluent, and most of all, they were enjoyable. They countered each other well, with Byakuya eliciting Ichigo's more calm sides, and Ichigo bringing out a more docile and receptive side of Byakuya, and Ichigo found himself surprised at how well they meshed. He was certain that after just two days in each other's constant company, despite how close they had become, they'd be ready to fight to the death. Imagine his astonishment when he realized it was quite the opposite.

Still, they had their moments, today being one of them.

Over the past several days, Byakuya, the habitually organized and meticulous man, had broken multiple cups, misplaced his pen on various occasions, and dealt with a number of other obstacles that his new perspective gifted him. Each one he handled with decorum, always seeming less than flustered, even though Ichigo could tell it troubled him.

None the less, he was never one to complain about thing of which he couldn't change, and kept a determined attitude towards this refitting of his life, bordering on positive even. So during their early morning workout, when the usual tranquil man simmered with a humid and disagreeable aura, Ichigo had to wonder why.

Ichigo watched the disciplined man run through his stances with great precision, implicating a mixture of multiple martial arts such as Shaolin Kung Fu to jujutsu. Usually his movements flowed with refinement and finesse. Each advance taken with the effortless confidence of a river's dance, each balletic maneuver of his slender form as instinctive as the ocean's tide. Death by Byakuya's hands was a work of art in and of itself, a beautiful, bloody spectacle. For all that their fighting styles differed, Ichigo was enraptured by the rhythm of which he swept across the garden, and he knew Byakuya was a man he could learn a few things from.

Byakuya would perform a stance, and when Ichigo would try to mimic it, Byakuya would run his fingertips over the arches and curves of his body to inspect the form. He'd been corrective, but never would he try to change Ichigo's fighting style, as he only taught him the stances to teach the squad and gave him suggestions for the man to do with what he would.

Today, however, Ichigo noticed a tension backing those usually breezy strokes of the noble's body. "Yo, your stances are a little stiff today, Byakuya."

The noble didn't stop the forward drive of his outward palms as his eyes, which had been in a constant state of purple speckled grey, morphed into a more foreboding red. "Thank you, I will be sure to heed the word of someone with no form at all," he sniped.

Byakuya could be described as many things: harsh and short in speech being some. Arrogant, yes, but only in battle and always rightly so. In his teaching, he was detailed but patient, and never maliciously judgmental. So his scathing insult caused Ichigo to scowl deeply and feel oddly hurt.

"I was just trying to help." He muttered, "God damn."

"Well," Byakuya informed, "you are not."

"What crawled up your ass and died?" Ichigo growled.

Byakuya stopped his training for a brief moment and gave a long, steady sigh. "If that is your lewd way of asking what is bothering me, than it is you," Byakuya accused. "Now, if you will excuse me, I am attempting to prepare for this _trainer_ you allowed that mad scientist to send here."

Ichigo thought that he'd never seen someone express anger so subtly yet with such potency. It was all in the eyes, even before the crimson hue underlined the wrath. A more pointed, defined look would add a whole new meaning to that steady baritone which lulled one into it's velvety depths.

"Is that what this is about?" Ichigo grimaced. "What do you have against Urahara anyway?"

"He is deceitful and yields pleasure from harassing others! I do not want the sake of my fighting prowess to be in such tricky hands," Byakuya explained.

Ichigo rolled his eyes at what he took for nonsense. "I get that the guy has some messed up humor sometimes, but it's not like _you_ don't get off by irritating me, and I know you don't mean anything by it!" Ichigo reasoned. "Besides, this is serious, he has no reason to mess with you."

"He has never needed a reason before," Byakuya concluded.

"You're being pig headed," Ichigo moaned.

Taking back up his training, Byakuya suggested, "Perhaps you should allow Fujita-san to prepare you some tea, Fukutaichou."

This was not optional, Ichigo understood that much. "Whatever you say, _Taichou."_ Walking away, he muttered under his breath, to which Byakuya responded with, "I am blind, not deaf, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo stomped back over to the deck of where Fujita stood holding a tea kettle, an endearing smile directed towards the noble. "Ah," she crooned, "Isn't Lord Kuchiki adorable when he's in such a mood?"

"Adorable!? Are you crazy, Fujita-san?" he asked, slumping down on the bamboo flooring.

The attendant kneeled down gracefully and poured some hot water into a ceramic tea cup. "Lord Kuchiki is an extremely disciplined man, so to see him lose control and act a bit petulant is a little amusing for me." She grinned happily, the steam rolling over her wispy, almost translucent skin as she steeped a tea bag. "It reminds me of when he was little," she whispered humorously

Looking towards the nobleman, Ichigo found their versions of "out of control" vastly different. If Ichigo was losing it, the whole estate would know, while Byakuya was poised and, if you didn't know him, almost calm in appearance. Admittedly, a huffing Byakuya having volatile mood swings while trying to veil his irritation, administering the silent treatment like a pouty child, was marginally adorable.

Ichigo snorted at his own insanity. He must've been delirious to find Byakuya's sour attitude bordering on charming. "You say cute, I say a pain in the ass."

Fujita hummed contently, dropping two sugar cubes into the tea and allowing them to dissolve. "It is just his nerves," she reassured with a nostalgic laugh. "Urahara-san and Yoruichi-san use to give him the hardest time when he was younger, so he has his reasons to be cautious. This is important, and he is very self critical, so he is plagued with great anxiety today."

Handing over the tea cup, she explained blithely, "This is why I made chamomile tea today, because I knew he would be in a tiff, and you, well you are always yelling about something at some point or another."

' _Such a mother.'_ Ichigo snorted before mindlessly pressing the cup to his lips and burning himself. Fujita hovered a hand over her mouth and giggled as Ichigo cursed. "This is what you get for calling Lord Kuchiki a pain in the ass. You must practice compassion. For instance, the way Lord Kuchiki is compassionate of your loudmouth ways.

Rubbing his finger across his freshly burnt lip, Ichigo retorted, "He always has some smart ass comment to say."

"Ah, but this is only because he enjoys messing around with you," she gave the man a knowing look, "and you know you just as much enjoy messing with him."

Ichigo smirked at that, unable to disagree with any degree of sincerity.

"He will apologize in his own way, without words and mostly through actions, but actions are louder than words, nei?"

Ichigo looked out wistfully towards the beautiful Kuchiki lord, the green hakam and sleeveless white kosodo top he wore rippling with every movement. _'I don't want an apology..I just..wish I could make him feel a little better about this. I know how hard this has been for him.'_

"Are you sure you should be telling me all this, Fujita-san? I know how big Byakuya is on privacy, and I don't want you getting in trouble," Ichigo asked.

The woman hummed considerately. "Usually I would never speak openly about my Lord, but," she winked, "you are different, my boy."

Ichigo gave the attendant a dubious glare as she stood to her feet. "That's what they all keep telling me," he sighed.

After a moment of plotting, Ichigo grinned wickedly to himself and hopped from his seat.

Disrupting Byakuya's movements, Ichigo came to stand beside the man and propped an elbow on his shoulder. "Need help?" he asked, smirking.

Byakuya huffed in annoyance. "Did I not tell you you were no help? Remove yourself from my person."

The noble shivered at the chuckle Ichigo let loose. "You're kind've cute when you're being a brat."

In one jerking motion, Byakuya removed himself from Ichigo's touch. "How dare you? Watch your tongue, you impudent child."

Leaning forward, Ichigo grasped Byakuya's forearm and taunted, "Or what, Byakuya?"

"Let go," Byakuya demanded, his voice on the edge of composure.

"Didn't you say you needed help preparing for that trainer? Here's your chance." Challengingly, he prodded, "Make me."

Those words took Byakuya to the apex of his frustration, and the man countered, moving his body almost unconsciously to implicate basic wrist control. Only his moves fell short as Ichigo dodged and parried, dropping Byakuya on his back in one nimble maneuver.

Ichigo leaned over the man with a knee situated on Byakuya's side and one wedged between his leg and arm. "Oh come on, Byakuya," he teased, "I barely know the basics. Taking out an _impudent child_ should be elementary for a guy like you. You're going to have to do better."

A blend of adrenalin, breathless passion, and competitiveness set Byakuya's skin on fire with a need. One that demanded he put Ichigo in his place, implored the noble to prove the man wrong.

A blood orange surged in Byakuya's eyes, crackling the air around them with its vivaciousness. Byakuya appeared the most alive when his eyes were set on fire, the most confident and beautiful, the truest version of himself, and Ichigo found himself momentarily distracted by the sight.

Taking advantage of Ichigo's misplaced attention, Byakuya mentally located Ichigo's body placement in regards to his own. It was not his abilities that were lacking, but the incapability of seeing the opponent, making his moves overshoot or fall short of a target. After he took into consideration Ichigo's weight, height, and placement on his own body, he drew a trajectory in his head, and in a manner of which was to quick to combat, Byakuya flipped the table, leaving Ichigo back down and pent.

Hovering above him was a panting Byakuya, the rise and fall of his moist and well defined chest only a few inches from Ichigo's suddenly parched mouth. The noble pulled back, and a hint of a smirk pulled at those often stiff lips, highlighting the world on fire that existed within Byakuya's eyes.

"You were saying?" Byakuya asked smugly.

A heat filled Ichigo that he blamed on the rush of a fight with such a powerful man as Byakuya. Equally, it was matched with a frothing pride in his chest. "Look who has some skill," Ichigo smirked in rebuttal.

Tightening his grip on Ichigo's arm's ever so slightly, Byakuya perked an eyebrow at the man. "Did you ever doubt me?"

Ichigo felt the air become dense with a sticky, sweltering current that flowed in and around the two. An almost animalistic drive that was unexplainable sent both of them whirling. "Never," Ichigo said bluntly, smiling up at the man. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't doubt you."

Byakuya unknowingly bit his lip as his eyes flickered to a new color that Ichigo had never seen before. The entirety of his gray morphed into a liquid mercury for a flash, a captivating silver that expressed a wild sensation neither could put a name too just yet.

Byakuya stood and held out a helping hand, one Ichigo took without hesitation. _'Ichigo, he has this ability to put a fire under me that no one else can. Then again, I suppose it has always been this way.'_ "Nonsense, if I could not handle an upstart like yourself, I do not deserve my title as clan head." With their hands still clasped, Byakuya said, "But if you would like, I can demonstrate this confidence once more."

Ichigo ate up that cocky, almost amused feeling that exuded from the man, and more so, knowing he was able to draw it out of the noble, bringing him out of his own encumbering nerves. Releasing his hand and taking up a fighting stance, he challenged, "Bring it on, Byakuya."

 **xXx**

"Lord Kuchiki, your trainer has arrived," Fujita declared, "I've already taken his bags to the guest room of which he'll be staying. Would you like an attendant to unpack his belongings?"

Standing from his seat, Byakuya extended his walking cane with a sigh. "Let's see how this session goes first. Please escort me to him," Byakuya ordered, walking beside a gleaming Fujita.

"Right away, Lord Kuchiki," she exclaimed, humming sweetly.

"And do try not to be so excited about this," Byakuya chided.

"I would never!" she fraudulently flabbergasted, and Byakuya had to stop a humored snort. Fujita could definitely be partially credited for his derisive personality.

As the two walked, Byakuya attempted to sooth his own increasingly agitated thoughts. He had to do this. He had to fumble through these motions, and failure was not an option. Too much rode on the mastery of his abilities under these new circumstances. If he did not come through victoriously, he'd be letting down his house, squad, himself, and most painfully, Ichigo. Ichigo, the man who had given up everything to be by his side through this process. The only true way to extend his gratitude was being worth such a sacrifice.

They moved across the garden and took a path that led to an oasis surrounded enclosure that Byakuya often utilized for training. "Here we are, Lord Kuchiki."

Byakuya nodded and cleared his throat, taking note of his sweaty palms. "You may leave us, Fujita-san."

With a cordial farewell, the attendant took her leave, and Byakuya stood amidst the quiet darkness. After that unsettling muteness extended past an appropriate span, Byakuya went to address the man, only to be abruptly cut off.

"Are you aware that star-nosed moles are blind?" He explained, "There is a theory they use electronic signals to fight their prey. I find that fascinating. Apparently, their ugly little buggers, but alas, I will never know, nei?"

The bout of random trivia made Byakuya's ever present frown deepen. "I did not ask you here for an ecology lesson," Byakuya asserted.

"Ah," the man singsonged, "You did not ask me here at all, our mutual acquaintance did." Grinning, the man's words were rounded by a whimsical inflation. "Kisuke-san, he had some..interesting things to say about you."

"I am sure," Byakuya rebutted dryly. "I must ask, you were offered payment, yet you rejected. Why is this?"

"Let's not be coy with each other, Lord Kuchiki," the man hummed humorously. "As I know about you, I am sure you looked into me."

"Of course, Uchi Hiroki-san," Byakuya countered, " a man of my standing will always protect themselves, take extra precautions, especially when the individual in question is a friend of Urahara Kisuke."

"A smart man indeed," Uchi grinned impishly. "Than you are well aware of my wealth. I've dabbled in many things, business, dog breeding, philanthropy, renting out my skills to the highest bidder. I do not wish to trifle in something as frivolous as money anymore."

"Than what is it that you seek," Byakuya inquired, put off by the devil may care attitude of his trainer.

"Challenges," Uchi responded candidly. "And when I say this, I do not mean in teaching you. That should be a simple task, considering your enhanced senses and spiritual perception." At the contemplative silence that befell the man, he clarified, "More so, it is that headstrong personality of yours that interest me. I've done many things in my life, so now, I simply _do_ to alleviate my boredom."

The reasoning seemed strange and precarious, something the noble couldn't quite understand, and things he did not understand rattled Byakuya with their uncertainty. "Is this why, even with your copious amounts of money, you do not hire a healer to fix your eyesight?" Byakuya questioned.

Uchi bit his smirking lips and let loose a throaty chortle. "Does this anger you?" he asked, sparking a shock of animus in the noble. "Perhaps that is because you hate your dearth of sight, but I? I feel free without it. Sight is, how do I say, _so_ pedestrian."

Byakuya had to control an incredulous gasp that threatened to escape him, allowing himself to devour the pulsing insult he felt. "You have no clue how lucky you are. To languish such an opportunity, it is ungrateful."

The ridiculing giggle Uchi gave had the noble closing his eyes and exhaling a pacifying breath. "Perhaps, but perhaps you will be surprised at how your perspective changes when you lose your vision. I'm sure," he assumed, "to some extend, you've already noticed this."

"Painfully," the noble bit.

"Ha," the trained laughed, "I do not mean just the obvious, but in your thinking." Smirking, he added, "My, you do not disappoint. I do hope you keep this entertaining for me."

Before Byakuya could reply, he explained, "Now, we will begin with some basic meditation. You will be training to take your senses to new heights by meditating and taking note of every sensation you feel, hear, smell, and sense."

"I am well beyond the need for basic meditation," Byakuya huffed in descent.

"Lord Kuchiki," the trainer placated, "a normal person perceives about eight percent of the world around them with there eyes. While you may think you're beyond this method of training, trust that you have not even scratched the surface of what your other senses can take in."

When there was no reply, Uchi continued, "We must stretch them to their absolute limits before we can move on. If you do this, I can guarantee you'll be able to fight without your vision. Perhaps even better than before."

"Very well," Byakuya conceded, begrudgingly so. He took a meditation stance and did some deep breathing.

"Take off your shoes."

"Excuse me?" Byakuya questioned.

"Take off your shoes. In fact, stop wearing them to training all together."

"I do not see the poi-"

"You may question all my instructions," the trainer explained, "but a bit of trust will get you a long way a lot quicker. This _is_ what you asked me here for."

Byakuya, once again, conceded with a sigh. As he removed his sandals, the trainer noted his displeasure and smile as a result. "Now, let's begin."

 **xXx**

Naked feet lied against the blades of fluffy spring grass. It felt like cotton swaddling nature tickling the noble's toes. He wiggled and stretched these nerve riddled appendages as if feeling for the first time, as if he never felt the joy of the earth's properties rollicking across his skin.

For so long, his sight monopolized his attention, his manner of which he explored the world and defined beauty. His other senses, they were like good friends that could've been so much more, if only given the same treatment: neglected, taken for granted, muted by the consuming neediness of sight.

They were background music, maltreated companions, watered down sensations. However, when his sight abandoned him like an estranged lover, leaving him yearning and lost without her light, his other senses we're not bitter, but ever so tender and forgiving. A heavy wind caressed his tresses, the aroma of sakura's embraced him, and the texture of damp soil anchored him. They lead him through the darkness, painting an unseen path for the wanderer.

Unable to see the world, he'd become more connected with it. He'd always miss his sight and the lessons granted through it, but he couldn't ignore the things the darkness gave him.

' _ **Perhaps, but perhaps you will be surprised at how your perspective changes when you lose your vision'**_

' _That man, I do not enjoy his casual mindset of what it means to lose one's sight. However..I suppose, to some degree, I understand the point he was making.'_

Tilting his face, he basked in the sunbeams, allowing the heat to swallow his thoughts.

"Yo, Byakuya," a familiar voice called out for him.

' _Then again, there are some things..people.. I wish dearly too see..'_ Byakuya thought as that warm presence approached him.

"Hello, Kurosaki Ichigo," Byakuya greeted, his posture less sift and his emanation one of tranquility.

Ichigo plopped down beside the man, taking note of his closed eyes and his serene features lacking any of their usual defenses, along with the way his fingers and toes wormed in the grass. He couldn't help but to grin. "What are you doing? A little sunbathing?" Ichigo teased.

"I am _feeling_ the scenery," Byakuya explained with deep, steady breaths.

"Oh yeah," Ichigo bemused, "how do you do that?"

"It is something that must be experienced, not explained. Take off your shoes and close your eyes," he instructed.

Ichigo perked an eyebrow curiously. "..Okay," he hesitated, doing as he was told. With his lids shut, he sat back on his palms, feeling somewhat restless. Peeking open an eye, he gave an aslant look over to the noble. "Is something supposed to happen?"

"Shh," Byakuya hushed, "you are ruining it." Ichigo snickered and closed his eyes as Byakuya explained, "It is similar to meditation, only instead of clearing your mind, you simply focus on your surroundings. The noises, scents, feelings, you take mental notes of everyone that comes within your scope of perception. It will dampen all of your misplaced energy."

Ichigo sighed and tried once again. First he observed the sound of birds chirping, then the tickling breeze that stroked his cheek. Next was the smell of flowers carried by the wind and the taste of tea settled on his tongue. Each passing moment he sensed more and more, until he could feel his own pulse throbbing through him with absolute clarity. The steady rhythm lulled him, made him feel at ease.

He even observed Byakuya's calming reiryoku intermingling with his own. It was warm and quelling like the placid rocking of an ocean's waves. Of course, around the noble, he usually felt this peacefulness.

It wasn't too long ago that he hated Byakuya with every fiber of his being, but even then, more than anything, Ichigo just wanted to understand his reasoning. Ichigo still remembered the moment where one explanation bridged the gap between them.

' _ **When you were sentenced to death, I was dumbfounded. The oath to my parents to follow and defend the rules, or the promise to Hisana to protect her sister. Which one should I keep? Ichigo Kurosaki, you have my gratitude. Rukia, I am sorry.'**_

' _When I defeated him that day, he explained why he was willing to let Rukia be executed. Still, I didn't understand. He talked about how sentiments and emotions meant nothing to him, but his later actions contradicted his words. Byakuya, you try so hard not to care, but you always have, haven't you?'_

' _And later, when I saw you on the battlefield, you were the first shinigami to ever show not only humility, but gratitude, towards me.'_

' _ **I fear I will not last much longer. As a Captain of the Gotei 13, to be unable to defeat the foul intruders who dirty the soil of Seireitei, who have brought about the deaths of many soldiers and brought sadness to those soldiers' subordinates and families... to lose my life in defeat at the hands of such wretches brings me great shame. You, meanwhile, are a human. By all rights, you should never have become involved in this conflict. Indeed, you should never even have come to this place. Yet now, at the end of my life, I ask you to forgive me the vile hubris of making one request of you. Please... protect Soul Society.'**_

' _He never directly said it, but it was implied in everything he said, and even though I never wanted his thanks, I felt like I really understood him more than ever in that moment. And I realized, when he died, I'd be losing something. I'm really glad he didn't. I'm glad I get to know you, Byakuya.'_

A hand touching his shoulder jolted Ichigo from his thoughts. He blinked a few times at a puzzled Byakuya. "Are you well, Kurosaki Ichigo? Your energy has become quite..muddied."

"Uh, sorry," Ichigo stammered, "just some grim thoughts. I guess I'm not as good at this whole thoughtless sitting as you are."

"And I thought mindlessness would be right up your alley," Byakuya poised, attempting to curb the amusement in his tone.

Ichigo snorted and shook his head jokingly. "I knew you were being _too_ nice. You even showed concern for me."

"Do not be silly," Byakuya contradicted, "your obtuse reiryoku was distracting me."

It was funny, Ichigo thought, how in the most imperative of moments, Byakuya could show earnest care, but in the motions of day to day life, he masked it. Horribly so, might he add, for anyone who really knew the man. Caring was second nature for him, but Ichigo got it, how difficult it was for him to show it openly. It was new and would take time, but even if it never came, Ichigo would be content with the way Byakuya was now.

"How were things at the division?" Byakuya questioned, which prompted a short conversation about division semantics and delegation. While Ichigo did administer training on certain days, mostly he aided Byakuya with his own duties. Which in turn, took part of the workload off of his remaining subordinates.

"Do you need any help with anything right now?" Ichigo asked.

After a moment of contemplation, Byakuya said, "Not any time soon. Though, after dinner, I will need your assistance."

"Cool." Ichigo decided, "Than I guess that gives me the chance to meet up with Ishida for some training."

Perking an eyebrow, Byakuya inquired, "You're training with the quincy boy?"

"Yeah," Ichigo affirmed, stretching and yawning a bit. "Someone's gotta teach me how to use these powers. No use in letting them just sit there wasting away."

When Byakuya let out a muffled chuckle that he attempted and failed to conceal, Ichigo barked, "What's so funny!?"

"Excuse my outburst," Byakuya atoned, "It is just, the idea of you performing archery is a bit humorous, given your lack of precision."

Ichigo scowled at the man. "For your information, I'm not trying to learn the archery part. It's more about the blut and ransotengai. I have like zero defensive abilities, so I figured those would be the most useful." He grumbled, "Not that I couldn't learn If I wanted too."

"Ransotengai?" Byakuya echoed, "If what I have heard is correct, this is a rather advanced quincy skill."

"What?" Ichigo hissed, "You don't think I can do it?"

"Do not misinterpret me," Byakuya cleared up, "I am simply stating that it is a challenging skill to learn. Though, overcoming challenges is your specialty, Kurosaki Ichigo. As long as you are determined, I am sure you will be fine."

Ichigo smirked and gave the man a playful elbow nudge. "As long as I stay away from a bow and arrow, right?"

Byakuya tutted. "It is not you I am concerned for if you decide to brandish a bow, but any nearby woodland creatures." Ichigo just laughed in response, and Byakuya asked, "I do wonder, however, what brought on this desire? I was certain that all of your new duties were quite arduous as is."

Ichigo shrugged nonchalantly. "I like keeping busy. Besides, seeing you work so hard to do everything without your vision," he grinned innocently, "It's pretty inspiring, Byakuya. Makes me want to do better."

A flustered magenta lit up the noble's eyes, the only sign that the comment effected him. Ichigo smirked as Byakuya cleared his throat and said, "Yes, well, I suppose it is good that I am rubbing off on you in some manner. Now If only we could work on your lack of etiquette."

"I said inspired, not completely delusional," Ichigo quipped, rolling his eyes. "Unfortunately for you, I enjoy bothering you too much."

"There is another reason I'm training today, though," Ichigo confessed, thrumming his fingers thoughtfully in the minuet space that separated them. "There's a lot of confusion with what's going to happen between the quincies and the shinigami. A lot of tension between the two for sure, but most of the shinigamis are open to a peaceful co-existence. Anyway, Ishida's taking on the role as the new quincy king, and with me being part quincy and shinigami, I figured I could I help bridge the two. We're going to talk about it more today."

"You mean like an ambassador?" Byakuya questioned.

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, shrugging his shoulder once more, "If that's what you wanna call it."

Ichigo gave a tentative look to Byakuya's marginally surprised expression. "Come on," he groaned, "out with it."

"Out with it?" Byakuya echoed.

"I know you have some smart ass comment to say," Ichigo scoffed.

"I have absolutely no clue what you are rambling on about," Byakuya denounced.

"Sure," Ichigo patronized, "I bet it's _killing_ you."

After another fleeting moment, Byakuya said, "I was simply thinking that archery may indeed be an easier task for you."

"See, now don't you feel better?" Ichigo remarked, causing Byakuya the slightest of amused expressions.

"Truthfully, I find it admirable that you are using your very rare situation to enact harmony. Understanding the motives of our past enemies can only benefit us in ensuring that history does not repeat itself..again." He sighed, "However, I do find this to be a bit out of the range of your usual personality. As you've explained, you only became involved in shinigami affairs because they were thrusted upon you. Though, that only shows you as more courageous."

Ichigo raked his fingers through his hair and wore a half hearted smile. "Yeah, I don't think I really knew what I'd be getting myself into when I agreed to this, but.." he sighed, "this is my home now, and seeing Ishida all caught up in this and hearing all the hateful crap some of the shinigamis have been spewing, I don't know, It just seemed like the right thing to do."

"Then, I suppose," Byakuya mused, "this is not completely out of the realm of your character. You do always do the right thing. Perhaps not the smart thing, but the right one, yes."

Ichigo gave a crooked grin and flicked his wrist casually. "Eh, I got this. Besides, I have a full fledged nobleman to give me advice about all of that boring political crap."

"I do believe," Byakuya, with his usual no nonsense expression, jested, "that somethings are even beyond the scope of my teaching abilities."

Ichigo tutted and gave the man a playful, albeit rough shove, and the tiniest, almost non existent smile crept on Byakuya's face. As Ichigo got to his feet, he announced, "Yeah, whatever, I'm out of here before you come up with anymore _hilarious_ insults."

As Ichigo walked away, Byakuya declared, "Do not be late, Kurosaki Ichigo. It is imperative that we finish this paperwork in a timely manner."

Waving over his shoulder, Ichigo said, "Yeah, yeah, I'll consider it."

 **xXx**

In was not much later in the day that Byakuya's attendants was requested by his house elders. Promptly, he stood before them, contemplating what this could be about.

Along with his captaining obligations, he was ladened with noble responsibilities, many of which he'd grown accustomed to. Meetings, the formation of alliances, compiling all current data on recent historical happening, just to name a few, so he knew the assemblage's motive could be nearly anything.

"Good evening, Byakuya-san," a deep and prominent voice addressed. "I'm am glad you could visit us this evening."

"Of course, Head Elder Daichi," he acknowledged amicably. "As always, it is my pleasure. How are you?"

"I am well," the elder responded softly, "and I hope your are likewise."

"Yes. Thank you," Byakuya spoke shortly.

"Well, I do not wish to take up precious time, Byakuya-san, so I will get right to it." Clearing his throat, he stated, "I know you are aware that, because of the mass casualties, aristocratic houses have been pushed into wedlock to produce heirs."

"..Yes," Byakuya hesitated, blinking a few times, "I am aware." Already, Byakuya did not like the direction of which this meeting was heading. If the subject matter was not foreboding enough, the hint of nervous regret in the usually unflappable elder was enough of a justification for the gnawing in Byakuya's stomach.

"The council has deliberated," the elder explained, "and we've decided that, in the near future, it is time for you to exemplify the importance of this ritual through your own participation."

Instantly, Byakuya's throat tightened, and he clasped his hands tighter behind his back as a result. "Head Elder, council, while I understand the need of this tradition, with my current condition, I am in no state to bear an heir."

"Of course," the elder spoke, a bit of a smile inflected in his tone. "When I said the near future, I meant after you've have time to adjust. A year, perhaps?"

The nobleman closed his eyes pensively and took a few relaxing breaths. Byakuya Kuchiki knew how to be cut throat. Years of politics and diplomacy had crafted him as such, but it was very unusual for him to go against his elder's wishes or the laws set in place. This matter, however, since the death of Hisana, had been one of which he refused to concede. It was untouchable, sacred, and the elders had never actually pushed the issue. Somehow, Byakuya knew today would not be the same.

"Head Elder, though I respect and understand the dictums of this council, I believe I have made myself clear about my feelings regarding the-"

"Byakuya-san," another elder spoke up, a haggard and haughty woman, "we have taken your _personal_ feelings into regards. As you know, once you've married and bared an heir, there is nothing forcing you to bind yourself to the wife you take other than legality. If you both chose to live separately, this is more than fine."

"Do you forget the child that will be involved?" Byakuya rebuked, a little more sharply than he had intended. "I do not believe in loveless unions, especially producing children from them. I would not want this for the child nor for the poor woman forced into such an arrangement."

"This _poor_ woman will understand and comply to her duties happily," the woman snipped, " as should you. As a clan leader, it is your obligation to put such sentiments behind you and think about the good of your house."

"Elder Ikeda-san," the head elder intervened, "Please, let me." With a weary and rueful sigh, the elder assured, "Byakuya-san, you know that I, more than anyone, sympathizes with your reasoning. However, a war has sent our homeland into shambles, disrupting the balance of power, a war that you almost died in." Byakuya jared ever so slightly at the remembrance while the elder continued, "And what if you had of expired? Our clan would have been left without a rightful heir, and the lines of power stemming from the most eminent noble house would have been severed forever. This has been a long time coming, Byakuya-san, and though we have been patient, you were aware that this would one day be a duty of which was acquired of you." Softer, carefully, the head elder implored, "If not for my supplicating, you'd be married within three months time. Please," he whispered, "do not make this harder for yourself than need be."

Discreetly and as stately as ever, Byakuya drew in a jagged breath, his face betraying none of his inner turmoil. In the years since Hisana's passing, the worst of the Kuchiki lord's pain had subsided. Now he often visited her vigil and felt grateful for the bit of pain he still had to remember her by. After almost a century, he was no longer ceaselessly plagued with memories of their short time together, nor did he actively think upon the love she could never quite return or the painful resentment he felt as a result. At times, this left him with an almost hollow feeling, only made more unbearable by the guilt of his forgetfulness.

Though he did not dwell, his soul certainly never forgot. Hisana had changed his life, for better or worse, it was simply a fact. Never again did he concern himself with romantic love, and he was certain that it never concerned itself with him. Once a man who desired such affections, he never wanted to experience such a life altering sorrow again.

In comparison, loneliness was a kindness. It was, in fact, the greatest courtesy life had ever bestowed him with, a heart as empty as the beds once utilized by their dead.

It was not the prospect of a wife, however, that filled the noble with a fright. It was the lethality of his own two hands. His breath, fondness, it was poison to whomever came in contact with him. To be given such a precious gift as a child, only to have it ripped away, once again, by his own perilous existence, it was ruthless.

Was it possible for anything he loved not to perish? Rukia had not, and though he seemingly overcame his fear of losing her when he backed down and allowed her to fight that ghastly sternritter, the dread still flourished within him. Renji's death being another catalyst, another corpse to throw weight behind his vindication. The little insecurities his heart housed evolved into wild thickets, shrouding and ensnaring his soul. Within this cage, he could not move without fear of being punctured.

 **xXx**

" _Lord Kuchiki."_

 _The anxious clan head looked up, his limbs strong with agitation, but his mind stronger. In the clan doctor's eyes, there was grave news. His eyes, they illustrated a horror that his mouth couldn't bare to articulate._

 _Between them both, the doctor looked more like the panicky husband in waiting and Byakuya the phlegmatic physician. This was nothing Byakuya held against the man, for he was unable to withhold his nature as much as Byakuya was unable to withhold his own._

 _Not to say the Kuchiki lord did not feel a great agony at the lose, but he'd been conditioned his whole life to consume his own emotions for the sake of something greater. Hisana was his something greater, and right now, she'd need him to remain as unwavering as an edifice in his composure._

" _I understand," Byakuya uttered, moving to his feet. "How is she?"_

 _The doctor nodded and trembled slightly, building up his nerves. "She is weak, but as soon as we complete the procedure, she will be in a more stable condition."_

" _Then?" Byakuya prompted._

 _The doctor dipped his head just a bit, loathing to look at the other man with such flagrant sadness. "I'm afraid the pregnancy has irritated a pre existing condition. Her system is shocked, and though it won't be immediately, there is little hope she'll make it through the spring."_

 _Byakuya nodded his head a couple of times to express that he understood, and he swallowed down a scream that he so badly wanted to give to the world._

 _With chin pointed, the doctor asserted, "I just want to be clear, Lord Kuchiki, there was no way of knowing about this condition before hand. Please do not take this on yourself."_

 _Feeling almost numb to it all, the Kuchiki lord made a noncommittal noise and said, "I must be with my wife now. I shall stay during the procedure."_

" _I will prepare and be with you both momentarily," the doctor informed just above a whisper._

 _Byakuya moved through the doorway that joined the two rooms and saw his wife lying almost motionless upon a futon. She looked so tiny in that futon, in that room, weak and bulging with child. Her desolation left her still, listless from drained emotions as she stared aimlessly out a window._

 _Byakuya approached the futon and kneeled by her side, grasping her hand gently and taking note of the salty paths staining her face._

" _Anata," he comforted, "I am here." Her eyes glided up to his own, burning him with their misery and regret. He did this to her with his insistent need for a child. He did this. He killed his own wife. He had know that, despite her love for children, her heart still ached with bereavement, and had never belonged to him fully. Desperately, he had wanted to mold them into something that they could never be, and as a result, he destroyed whatever was._

 _His love, his desire for a family, it smothered her. The worst, most unforgivable part being that, even though he didn't want to admit it, he knew it was only her guilt of not loving him that forced her into compliance._

" _Byakuya," she rasped, her voice as cracked and weary as her frame._

" _Do you need water?" Byakuya offered._

 _Tears pooled in the woman's eyes, and she shook her head somewhat frantically. A short, heart-rending moan spilt from her lips as tears dripped into her open mouth. Byakuya wiped frayed strands of hair from her forehead and rubbed it lovingly while he brought their intertwined hands up and placed a kiss on her palm, hoping to offer her a bit of his strength._

" _This is what I deserve," she cried breathlessly. "I left Rukia all alone, and this is my retribution."_

" _Anata," Byakuya urged, "that is not true. If the fault lies on anyone, it is I. I am terribly sorry for pushing this upon you. If I had onl-"_

" _No," she asserted, finding her voice as her tears lulled for an instant. "Despite my reservations, I was happy about our child. I thought.." her voice faded out as she allowed her hand to hover above the seemingly expectant stomach, letting it linger before she clutched it tightly, "this was my chance to be the guardian I should have been for her..but.." Once again, her tears raged, pain clamping down on her vocal chords. "Now, I-I fe..e..l s..o," she fought for breaths amongst her uncontrollable emotions, and Byakuya pulsed a calming pressure through her to help her find her air. "So..empty.. cold.. I use to feel little baby feet..and now, there's nothing. I look down, and I see my belly, and I can't believe she's gone, but my heart," she sobbed, "It knows."_

 _Byakuya only wished there was something he could say, but there was nothing. He felt barely held together, only tethered by cheap adhesive, stuck between the reeling and his need to stay strong for his wife. There was nothing to be said, for their child was gone, and soon, Hisana would follow. There were no words._

" _Did we finally decide on a name?" Byakuya questioned._

" _Byakuya.."_

" _She is our daughter, so she must have a name. I will log her as an official clan member," Byakuya assured, "and I can not do such without a name."_

 _Hisana sighed and thought for a moment. "I like Arisa."_

" _Then Kuchiki Arisa it is." Byakuya smiled subtly, his daughter's name feeling right on his lips._

 _Quietly, gingerly, Hisana asked, "Do you think..I will get to hold her?"_

" _Perhaps for a moment," he answered honestly, "as you know, the spirit particles congeal within your womb only moments before birth, but because she is.." he faltered, "..her spirit particles will most likely disperse quickly."_

 _When a knock came to the door, Hisana's hand quivered in his._

 _The doctor entered, and Hisana looked almost paralyzed with fear. "I-I- she cried, "I don't want to deliver her. I don't want to feel her like that!" She shook her head frantically, looking up to Byakuya as if those slate gray eyes were her saving grace. "Please, I don't want too," she begged. "I can't!"_

 _Byakuya closed his eyes against tears that wanted nothing more than to find refuge on his face. He took one deep breath, then another. Opening his eyes, he assured, "I am here, my love, and I will be here through it all."_

 **xXx**

"Byakuya-san?"

The noble opened his eyes to a dark room, realizing that he'd been stuck in the past for much too long. "Yes. Excuse my behavior, Head Elder."

"It is fine," the elder insisted. "I understand the history and the memories of which this must dredge up. However, I must be sure that you also understand, Byakuya-san."

The noble gave a curtly nod of the head. His perfect decorum gave away nothing of his pounding head and swelling chest as he avowed, "Of course. In a year's time, I will concede. I will bear an heir."

 **xXx**

 **Tifanny91: Hello love, I hope you're doing well! Hm, first let me say that, with the Rukia thing, I think she gets Ichigo very well. Their best friends after all, and she did pretty much change his life. However, I'm a strong believer that not one person can be everything you need. That why people have more than one friend or don't only spend time with their significant other. So while I think Rukia does get Ichigo, their personalities clash, and in this type of tense emotional situation, Ichigo needs someone more like Byakuya to be there for him. In my opinion, I think Rukia makes a great friend, but Byakuya makes a much better lover. He doesn't always need to be shoved around, but instead, needs comfort and a safe haven. Ah, that's exactly like what it is, because these two stubborn boys are not hip to their own feelings. Ichigo's never felt that way and, as we see in this chapter, Byakuya's pretty closed off to the idea that he could ever be in love again. It's adorable to watch them almost awkwardly experience this type of love for the first time. You are right though, I do agree that this is a different type of love. Also, I'm glad you liked the lyrics I picked. As always, thank you. Until next time!**

 **Magician Girl Mirani : I swear, this stuff is golden. I've totally already planed how I'm going to use the shin thing. lol You are very right, it was time. I'm only glad that I could handle it well. Please, don't ever feel like rambling bothers me. Us fan fiction writers live for this stuff. Thank you, my dear!**

 **LustfulAvarices: *Nudges over a box of tissues carefully.* This chapter is pretty miserable towards the end, I'm sorry for any tears I may have caused! Thank you for your support.**

 **Dust-of-Moon: Happy birthday-ish! From me to you, here is some Byaichi goodness. I'm glad you're enjoying the slow crawl of their romance. Thank you!**

 **siwon611: It makes me happy to know I can make you're day a little better, even if it's in a small way. Keep your chin up! And you're right, it leads to no where good, but Byakuya and Ichigo are both characters who do this natural, which is one of the reason I find them so well matched, among a dozen others. lol. Thank you, love!**

 **Engkantada1905: Thank you for taking the time to comment. I'm really happy to see you enjoyed it, and I hope you like this one too.**

 **kiel Chea: Lol, I don't particularly ship them, but I do think they make some great friends. Thank you!**


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys, so I won't ramble this time, because I honestly don't feel up to it. I'll just say this: First, the last scene of this chapter made my heart melt, and lastly, I'm not prideful like our favorite noble, so i'm not above begging for feedback. I know I updated quickly, but it's only the first week of school, so the work load hasn't really kicked in/my ass yet. I'm going to need your support to keep up the motivation since I'm both a full time student and worker.

 **Song: "Let It Be Me," By Ray LaMontagne.**

 **A Crepuscular Serendipity**

 **Serendipity(n): an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.**

 **xXx**

" **Now, I remember all too well**

 **just how it feels to be all alone.**

 **You feel like you'd give anything**

 **for just a little place you can call your own**

 **That's when you need someone,**

 **someone that you, you can call.**

 **When all your faith is gone.**

 **It feels like you cant go on**

 **Let it be me.**

 **Let it be me.**

 **If it's a friend you need,**

 **let it be me,"**

On a night like any other, something strange occurred in the Kuchiki manor. Since the war, Byakuya had fallen victim to countless nightmares and restless sleep. Tonight was no exception. However, these typical terrors took a rather exceptional turn.

An invisible molester, a touch-less entity, began to mark Byakuya's body as it's own. First there was a shock, a tingling sensation that lit up every cell. Then there was a fuzziness, a creeping numbness that slowly claimed the nobleman's entire frame. His tongue became heavy and ballooned, filling his mouth until all he could do was vainly contort his lips. Suddenly, he began sinking into the depths of the futon, the cruel hard press of his unseen invader sitting upon his chest, submerging him into the darkness that shrouded him.

Finally, his eyes fluttered, them too unable to stay open as if they were weighed down by sinkers. To his astonishment, when his eyes managed to fight against the force that so desperately tried to possess him, he _saw_ the moonlit out lines of his chambers. Shadows casted by his cherry wood dressers placed just how he remembered them could be viewed from his place on the futon.

Immediately, he attempted to move, only to find both his body and lips frozen, encapsulated and descending deeper into the futon like a glacier swallowed by the fathomage of a needy ocean.

These persistent arms that engulfed him, they attempted to coax him into surrender, to close his eyes and allow the pull to drag him back to it's infernal sanctum. It was almost as if, if he let go, stopped trying to fight it's insistence, accept his lack of control, he'd find peace in the clutches that imprisoned him. Only Byakuya did not trust the touch. It was malignant and intangible in it's strength and surrounded him in such an oppressive manner. Even unable to feel the grasp, it was cold and irradiated with dangerous intent. It would do him nothing but harm.

Fruitlessly, he attempted to move, thrashings and screaming, but nothing left him but muffled attempts. That's when he heard it, a harrowing cackle and the wails of an infant. Without needing to look, he knew someone was there. He could sense him in the room, looming, watching. Somehow, he knew the man was coming to prod him in his openness. This man, there was nothing good that could be yielded from his presence.

His eye's shifted frantically in search for the faceless visitor. From his peripheral he caught glimpses, flashes of hair and an almost formless build. He could feel his vengeful grin, his hatred, as he crept closer.

An abject terror filled him as he flailed harder, jutting his body in hopes it would unwillingly release him from this hold that embraced him. He needed to reach his zanpakuto. He needed to hurry, because surely, this man wanted to steal him away, feast on his skin, bath in his blood. Byakuya was certain, tonight he was going to die.

 **xXx**

Completely exhausted, Ichigo dragged himself towards his current room within the Kuchiki mansion after some late night training with Ishida. He was grumbling about how the whole manor was too damn big, and, if he didn't use shunpo, it could seem like an hour to get in between any two points.

At the time, he had been dragging his feet, too sleep induced to flash away. However, that all flipped in an instant when he sensed the raging reiryoku of Byakuya Kuchiki geysering, flooding the dimly lit corridors. The all enduring peacefulness of Byakuya's energy taking such a drastic change was enough to cause Ichigo's hair to stand and heart to palpitate in hard, short thumps.

Sleepiness was completely forgotten as his body reacted, and Ichigo went zipping towards the foreboding pressure. The idea of something or someone making Byakuya of all people out lash in fright made Ichigo meet records speeds. A terror of his own filled the orange haired man as he rushed through the estate.

Imagine his surprise when he bursted abruptly through Byakuya's quarters to find the man asleep on his cherrywood platform - lifted futon. Ichigo tilted his head dubiously and took a few careful steps until he noticed the noble's arms were twitching in an odd yet barely perceivable manner.

It was obvious that whatever happened, though it wasn't imminently dangerous, was not normal nor right.

With this in mind, Ichigo took quick steps to the futon and sat on the edge right by Byakuya's waist. Grabbing both of his shoulders, he shook the man vigorously and called out his name.

It wasn't until the third time that Byakuya jolted up and immediately grasped onto the fabric of Ichigo's uniform, heaving and panting as if someone had been choking him in his sleep. He leaned his head against Ichigo's chest, feeling the most disconcerted he'd felt since his fight with As Nodt.

Ichigo looked at the hands that clutched onto him, almost as if they were trying to gauge reality through touching anything palpable. The touch was dire, anchoring, and Ichigo realized Byakuya's fingers convulsed like a seizure.

He ran a soothing, steadying caress across Byakuya's hand and down his forearm. Gently, he asked, "Hey, Byakuya, are you okay? Your reiryoku was flaring all over the place. I was worried about you."

Byakuya released the man as if he finally realized, embarrassingly so, what he was doing and slid back, bringing his knees up and closer to his chest. The look of pure confusion on Byakuya's face distressed Ichigo.

"Was someone here?" he asked suddenly

Ichigo's mixed glare of concern and puzzlement doubled at the question. "No..? Byakuya, I came in and you were by yourself sleeping. I'd say you must have had a really bad dream, but I've never known someone's reiryoku to surge like that over a nightmare."

"I.." the man faltered. Remembering how he could see for those few fleeting moments and how he no longer could, Byakuya stiffened his face and said, "Yes, it must have been a nightmare. I am sorry to have disturbed you, Kurosaki."

Ichigo looked more than unconvinced as he reasoned, "But you've had nightmares before, and it's never been like that. You seemed really shaken up and confused about where you were, so what actually happened?"

He noticed the way Byakuya coiled his knees even closer to his body and backed further on the futon. It was almost as if he was trying to fold himself up, make himself smaller, and Ichigo thought he'd never seen the other man look so troubled. It was both a worrisome and amazing thing to behold, a vulnerable and graceless Byakuya bath by the moon's emanation. He seemed oddly human, and Ichigo didn't understand why he found captivation in those fallibilities.

"It just seemed so very really," Byakuya sighed deeply and closed his eyes before brushing aside some strands of raven that disrupted his face. "As if I was.." he struggled to find the right word, "suspended between sleep and awareness. I kept sinking. I could see and feel everything that surrounded me, but I could not move nor talk..and there was someone in the room." Huffing in frustration, he concluded, "It was only a dream. This is all."

Ichigo netted his brow and shook his head definitively. "No, it's not. That's sleep paralysis. I didn't know soul's could get that."

Byakuya couldn't help the sardonic huff he gave in response. "Aptly named. What is this exactly?"

Ichigo chewed on his lip and looked as if he was struggling to remember for a moment. "Eh, It's a phenomenon that happens when people sleep. We kind've skimmed over it in my psychology class. It's not dangerous or anything, but supposedly it causes you to hallucinate and your muscles to stop responding. I remember the textbook saying something about how the patient would describe the feeling as waking up dead.." Ichigo scowled a bit, "Really weird stuff."

"Do you know if it is recurring?" Byakuya asked firmly.

"Depends on the person and the reason," Ichigo explained with a yawn. "That's really all I know about it."

Byakuya gave a nod of understanding. "Very well."

"Maybe you should talk to that clan doctor you have," Ichigo suggested. "You barely sleep as it is, and I can tell it really got to you."

"Nonsense, it was just some glorified nightmare," Byakuya challenged. "I shall be fine."

Ichigo sighed at how ridiculously prideful Byakuya could be, even at the expense of his own health. The man was already surviving on about three to four hours of sleep a night as is, and if Fujita's motherly concern was correct, that sleep was anything but restful.

"Pfh," Ichigo scoffed, "let's see how fine you are when you pass out from ex-" Ichigo stopped himself as he noticed Byakuya lifting from his futon. "Hey, aren't you going back to sleep? You have to be up in a couple of hours."

Truthfully, in the solitude of his own mind, Byakuya could admit that being so out of control of his body was..frightening. He was both metaphorically and literally paralyzed by fear, and that brought back memories of his fight with As Nodt and the way inescapable fear seeped into his body and ate at him from the inside. His own psyche became his downfall, himself his own worst enemy.

Though this admission brought no solace. He was a captain of the gotei, a war survivor for kami sakes, and here he was, running from sleep like a child afraid of monsters in the dark.

None the less, it had rattled him, and falling back into that suffocating hold of his own mind was a daunting thought.

"As you said, I will have to awaken in a couple of hours. I see no reason to attempt sleep now."

Ichigo, becoming as acclimatized to Byakuya's bull shit as he was, saw through the noble's attempts to sound cool and collective. "Just because it happened once doesn't necessarily mean it'll happen again."

"That has nothing to do with i-"

"I'm going to make you some tea," Ichigo stated simply, turning on his heels with a ridiculing roll of the eyes.

"I did not ask yo-"

"Sorry, can't hear you over how MANY SHITS I DON'T GIVE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT!"

Byakuya practically growled in the privacy of his room. Sometimes he felt foolish for the level of comfort he'd allowed between them. As it was, it went against his nature to allow anyone to talk to him that way. Then again, he couldn't deny that he in fact enjoyed it. He enjoyed someone who was not fearful of his draconian speech and nobility and someone who could challenge his veneer, confidently opposing the contemptuous persona Byakuya clung too. It was humbling, a reality check, but still, severely irritating at times.

When Ichigo returned, Byakuya was sitting on his deck looking aimlessly out into the night. Ichigo, now feeling the weight of his own sleep deprivation, thrusted the cup of tea into the noble' s hands.

With a sigh, Byakuya nodded and took a sip of the piping beverage. At the unusual taste, he ran a tongue over his mouth in contemplation. "Something is different," he noted.

"I put warm milk in it," Ichigo explained with a yawn. "That's how my mom use to make it when I couldn't sleep."

Byakuya dipped his head towards the tea cup clasped between two hands and enjoyed the heat that radiated through his palms. When he said nothing, Ichigo sneered, "What? Not up to your taste?"

Byakuya gave a sharp shake of the head. "No, I find it quite enjoyable. Thank you."

Ichigo's face softened a bit, and he felt a weird fluttering in his chest that had only occurred since the end of the war. "It's no big deal. I'm going to bed, and you should too." When Byakuya went to open his mouth, Ichigo cut him off, "Yeah, I know, you don't need to be told what to do. You're so damn predictable." Stomping off, Ichigo said, "Now that we got that out of the way, get some sleep!" Before he could get a word in, Ichigo was gone. "Insolent brat," Byakuya groused before taking another sip of his tea. He finished his cup full, but decided to stay awake all the same.

 **xXx**

"Byakuya!" Ichigo snapped. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!"

The noble jolted in his seat, shaking himself awake. Immediately, his eyes fought against his own will power and started to close once more. "There is no need to yell, Kurosaki Ichigo, I was merely resting my eyes."

Ichigo gave a patronizing scoff. "Yeah, and your head's going to rest on that desk when it slams right into it, and you're going to be in tough shit if you get a concussions, because then you really won't be able to sleep."

"You are being dramatic," Byakuya put off. It had been two days since Byakuya had woken in such a manic state, and though he attempted sleep every night since, every night the same thing would happen. It had began to lose its fright, but over all, it had been eating away at the noble's sanity. Ichigo had lost his patience with it.

"Byakuya!" he began as he slammed his palm down on the desk, "sleep deprivation isn't something to screw around with. It can kill you! I get how prideful you are, but when that pride gets in the way of doing what's important to you, that's when it becomes a detriment."

Byakuya would have thrown Ichigo one of his stern, militant glares, but his eyes were much too floaty to corporate. Truthfully, he knew Ichigo was right. He couldn't continue on like this for much longer. His body was weak, and he felt sick to the touch. More so, his duties were important, too important to let something so trivial impede his productivity.

Ichigo added, "I thought you would have learned that by now."

Something in those words and the silence that followed stung the noble, as if picking at an old wound. Their meaning was suspended heavily in between them. It was quite clear Ichigo was alluding to Rukia's execution where his once virtuous pride grew into an untamable beast that alienated anyone dear to him.

"So if you don't go willingly , I'll drag you to the clan doctor myself!"

"I will go," Byakuya conceded.

"Don't argue on this, because I will do it."

"Kurosa-"

"How do you plan to keep your training up!?"

"Kurosaki!" Byakuya snapped, finally earning the teen's attention. It took all of Byakuya not to laugh, and for that, he was sure the lack of sleep was driving him to delirium. "I said, I will go."

"Oh," Ichigo gaped, straightening up,

"We-well good! You've been grumpy as hell the last two days, and it's irritating me."

"Now you see how people feel about your grouchy disposition," Byakuya shot back sedately. Having managed to reply with his usual derisive wit, and in such a time of physical and mental fatigue, he couldn't help but to feel a bit proud.

"Yeah, well, if you have time to make jokes, you have time to go see the clan doctor now!" Ichigo scowled.

Pointing towards his paperwork, Byakuya began, "I need to fin-"

"No buts! I'm going to tell Fujita-san to summon the guy before you can change your mind."

Within twenty minutes, the clan doctor had arrived and was examining the Kuchiki lord in the seating area outside of his quarters. "Sleep paralysis, you say?" the healer asked, moving his gaze between the noble and Ichigo.

"That was Kurosaki Ichigo's diagnosis. I myself have never heard of such a thing," Byakuya explained, curbing the urge to let lose a tactless yawn.

The doctor rubbed on his chin thoughtfully. "From your description, that would sound about correct. It's extremely common in humans, not so much in souls, but it certainly isn't out of the realm of possibility."

 _'Something humans only usually have, I bet Byakuya will love that.'_ Ichigo bit back an amused snort.

"Yes, well," Byakuya sighed, closing his eyes, "how do I cure this, Akio-san?"

"Cure?" Aiko echoed, "That's..well, not possible. Think of it like a tumor that has gone into remission. It may never flare up again, but there's no sure fire way of making sure it never will return again. I can give you options that can remedy it, and hopefully, make it go away."

When Byakuya nodded his head, Aiko asked, "Now, tell me, Lord Kuchiki, have you been sleeping well prior to this event?"

Shortly, Byakuya responded, "I have not."

"Any specific reason?"

"Nightmares."

Aiko nodded his head curiously. "I see, and have you been under any particular amount of stress lately?"

Byakuya briefly thought back to the meeting with the elders. He was above lying, but in no way would he begin to delve into that.

"I am newly blind, a tachiou, a clan head, and the war has just ended," Byakuya deadpanned, "I would be troubled if I were not stressed." Aiko's lips curled into a knowing smile. "And as vague as ever. These nightmares," the doctor dug, "do they pertain to the war?"

The clan head hesitated briefly. "Yes."

"I see. Well, I'll be blunt with you, Lord Kuchiki, there are some small things that can help." Sternly, he suggested, "Getting more sleep would be a great start. Six hours a night would be ideal."

"Preposterous," Byakuya huffed.

"I thought you would say that."

"See," Ichigo pointed out, "I told you you're predictable."

Byakuya just gave a reprimanding huff as the doctor continued, "Not doing any work an hour before you fall to sleep would be helpful too."

"Do you have any suggestions that are actually doable," the noble sighed.

"Yes, but I already know you're not going to like it." Setting a more serious tone, Aiko explained, "This specific sleep issue is caused by an interruption in your sleep cycle. As you know it can cause hallucinations and your muscles to constrict, and it's often the cause of restless sleep. It's also much more common in those with high levels of stress and trauma because a scarred mind often plays out in ones sleep as a means of relief, especially for those who do not cope when they are awake. I believe you're suffering from some degree of post traumatic stress, and if you want to see a prolonged change in your sleep, I would highly suggest seeing one of the clan counselors."

Seeing that the noble's eyes went cleaved ever so slightly, Aiko said, "I hate to bring up bad memories, Lord Kuchiki, but you indeed almost died. You may say that this is normal for a soldier in the Gotei, but I would have to disagree, because in reality, it wasn't an almost scenario." A pause. "You _did_ die. It was only the divine power's of the Zero Squad that resurrected you. You must understand how mentally taxing that can be." Softly, Aiko uttered, "People are not suppose to come back from that.."

Ichigo flinched at those barely discernible words, as they rang with a truth that was all too intimate for his liking. He, too, had died, and if it wasn't for him morphing into that savage, mindless hollow, he wouldn't be here having this conversation today. The doctor was right, people weren't suppose to return from that, because you never return quite the same, only fragments of the person you were. Ichigo had never spoken about it, because he knew no one would understand. No one would get what it felt like to slip into that cold nothingness, only to be yanked back out. He couldn't phantom telling other's that he actually felt some degree of relief and calm to finally be granted rest and a degree of disappointment to have such peace tauntingly dangled in front of him, only to have it ripped away.

Except for Byakuya, that is. He was the only other person Ichigo knew who had actually died and came back, and he had in fact died, because if Ichigo had thought there was even a glimmer of hope he'd survive, he would have found help that day. Even the research and development department concluded Byakuya had expired. Ichigo supposed this was one more tragedy that linked the two. He wondered if Byakuya even had time to understand or process the reality of what happened to him. He'd immediately went straight back into war, single minded and resolute Byakuya was. Then, when all the blood had been shed and every enemy had fallen, he awoken to find that his friend and comrade weren't the only thing he'd lost to the war. It wouldn't surprise Ichigo to know he'd yet to deal or even acknowledge what had transpired. It was probably easier to just try and forget.

After sitting in a tense silence for a moment, Byakuya concluded, "Very well, I will consider it."

The doctor wore a resigned expression. "Right, well, as for today, I want you to spend it resting."Before Byakuya could say anything to the contrary, Aiko stressed, "This is doctor's orders, and you know that I have no problem reporting you if you do not follow through."

At the way Byakuya immediately closed his mouth, Ichigo couldn't help but to think he liked this guy. "Thank you, Aiko-san. Now if you and Kurosaki Ichigo would show yourself out, I will try to get some rest."

As Aiko spoke his farewells, Ichigo glowered sadly. He noticed the way Byakuya had kept his eyes closed for the majority of the appointment, and it was clear he was trying to hide the emotions that filtered through him.

When the two stepped through the door and began to walk down the long entrance hallway, Ichigo uttered lowly, "He's not going to talk to that counselor, is he?" Aiko smiled ruefully. "You're rather keen to him, yes, Kurosaki-san? You two must be rather close."

Ichigo's steps halted, and he wore a questioning look. "Yeah, not that he would ever admit that."

The clan doctor gave Ichigo a small, almost comical smile. "He allowed you in the room with him during something he considers personal. You must understand how big of a deal that is?" There it was again, that weird fluttering.

"Yeah," Ichigo rasped, suddenly feeling parched. "I do not mean to put you on the spot," Akio clarified, "It is just, Lord Kuchiki hasn't given such allowance to his personal ongoings since his late wife. I only bring this up because there is something you can do for him."

"What?" Ichigo urged, forgetting all about that peculiar sensation.

"It's a short term solution, but It will be able to quell his restlessness. Usually I'd simply suggest a sleep kido, but even then, there's no guarantee it would banish these terrors he's having." Noting Ichigo's prompting gaze, Aiko asked, "You know of spirit ribbons, correct?" When Ichigo nodded, Akio continued, "Then you're aware that these ribbons bond with others ribbons. Our souls, the people we bond with, rather that bond be negative or positive, tether to each other. Though these tethers are invisible, you can assess them the same way you would assess your own. You'll note that surrounding your own are the soul ribbons you've tethered to. All you must do is intertwine yours with his ribbon, and it will flood the tether with alleviating energy."

"That's all?" Ichigo asked dubiously. Aiko concurred with a nod of the head. "Yes. Though, I must warn you, if you intertwine your spirit ribbon with his own and it causes you discomfort, release. That means the soul tether you share is a negative one. Though I can't imagine you having this problem." Quickly, he added, "Also, you will need to be in close proximity when you do this, preferably skin to skin contact."

Blushing ferociously, Ichigo sputtered, "S-skin to skin contact!"

Rolling his eyes, Aiko couldn't help but to chuckle at the other. "Get your head out of the gutter, Kurosaki-san. I simply meant overlapping your hand with his. I've seen this method used by comrades many of times, for many of reasons. Physical contact is actually quite the medicine in and of itself. It releases chemicals known to induce comfort."

"Oh," Ichigo amended sheepishly, grabbing at his nape. "If it'll help Byakuya, then yeah, I can do that."

"As I said, this is temporary. However, I've known Lord Kuchiki for a while. The concern and exertion of a comrade will push him towards something more than any of my reprimanding ever will."

With a nod of the head, Ichigo said, "Thanks, Aiko-san." "Think nothing of it," the doctor rebutted, waving off the gratitude. Turning to take his leave, he said, "Goodbye, Kurosaki-san."

 **xXx**

Byakuya, for all his dissent, felt as if he was truly sleeping for the first time in ages. There were no vividly gruesome nightmares playing on a loop in his head, no waking to find himself in a frozen trance, just a stillness that he forgot was possible. If it weren't for something soft tickling at his nose, he would have stayed in the tranquility for a bit more.

As his eyelids flickered, he inhaled dulcet whiffs of something undefinable. It reminded him of Ichigo, who had a scent similar to the air after a bad rainstorm, fresh, revived, chaotic with energy. For a moment, he thought he was dreaming. "Ichigo," he muttered, blinking dazedly. A rustling sound mixed with some incoherent muttering could be heard, and Byakuya's heart hitched in his chest when he realized this hand clutching his tightly was most certainly real.

"Kurosaki Ichigo," Byakuya hissed.

There was some more shifting until Ichigo, who had fallen asleep sitting in a chair by Byakuya's bedside, moaned, "Pipe down, will you? I have a headache."

"What are you doing in my sleeping chambers? Furthermore, why are you resting your hand and head on top of my hand?!" Byakuya interrogated.

"I'm helping you," Ichigo yawned, lifting his head up slightly to met his hazy eyes with Byakuya's magenta ones. "Geez, you could say thank you." "And pray tell how you are helping me exactly?" Byakuya contradicted.

"Well," Ichigo smirked, "how'd you sleep?"

"I -" the noble faltered, "slept well, actually..How?"

Ichigo slumped back in the chair and removed his hand, shrugging sleepily. "I intertwined my soul ribbon with yours. Aiko-san suggested it. It was easier than I figured it be."

The noble, feeling rather startled, sniped, "I did not need nor request your help."

"Oh yeah?" Ichigo mocked, "Byakuya, you're a pretty guy, but you look like shit."

"I'm charmed."

"Im serious!" Ichigo, feeling both flushed and frustrated, declared, "You haven't been taking care of yourself. God damn, can't you stop being so stubborn for a minute and see that I care about you! If you weren't so pig headed all the time, this wouldn't even be an issue."

There was a sense of imploring and genuine concern backed by every passionately delivered word in Ichigo's scolding, and Byakuya had to close his eyes against the guilt that besieged him.

' _You are always putting yourself out for me, Ichigo, and I am nothing but a burden on your shoulders. All I have brought you is trouble since the day we met. I have caused you to worry by neglecting myself, because I forget that, when someone cares for you, seeing you ill or in pain woes them. No. I know this…I suppose it is that I still can not phantom why you care for me, and I think by ignoring these problems, I am burdening you less by not appearing weak, when it is quite the opposite_.'

Ichigo leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees, and sighed in despondency as he tried to form a sentence from his clustered thoughts. "In Hueco Mundo," Ichigo began, "when I fought Ulquiorra, I…" Ichigo hesitated, "…I died." Byakuya's eye's widened in shock, an emotion that registered as bronze specks. "I guess they never told you guys."

"No," Byakuya whispered.

Cringing at the painful memories, Ichigo explained, "I had a massive hole in my chest, but my hollow went ballistics and saved me, making me stab Ishida in the process. Afterwards, I don't know, I don't think I've ever been the same, not really. I felt…empty a lot of the time. I never said anything because I never wanted to bum anyone out. Besides," he scoffed, "I knew no one would understand. I was alive, I should be happy, right? " A pause. "It catches up with you eventually, Byakuya," he warned, resting his hand against the noble's once more. "You're not some glacier, so being affected by all of this crazy shit we have to endure, it doesn't make you weak."

The hand on his own made Byakuya's flesh turn torrid, and his breath's felt denser. He couldn't help but too shutter. "You don't have to tell me anything, but I get that feeling, the one where you feel like no one could possibly understand what you went through, and honestly, you don't want someone to. That's why..I'm glad I have you. You understand, and you don't try to fix me, you just…accept all my dark parts. So if you decide you need that too, I can be that for you."

"Why would I attempt such a thing when there is nothing to fix?" Byakuya questioned adamantly. "Your sorrow is very much a part of who you are. Without experiencing that sorrow, overcoming it, you would not be the man you are today." Byakuya closed his eyes and let the deafening drumming of his heartbeat reverberate within him, accepting it for whatever it was. "The rain that fills you, do you not see this is where your greatest power comes from? It is spectacular."

Ichigo's mouth wilted in pure astonishment of the words stated so simply. He was bewitched for what seemed like an eternity, captured by these mini fireworks that erupted in tandem, one by one lighting his entrails on fire until his whole body was overpowered by their beauty. They did not burn him nor smother him with their roaring resonance. Instead he felt dazzled by their presence in the way a wide eyed child looked upon the colorful explosions for the first time with breathless wonder. Perhaps that was because seeing himself through Byakuya's eyes was like seeing himself for the first time.

Byakuya sighed raggedly, biting at his own lip as if to bare against the pain, "I suppose I still feel a degree of shock. With losing Renji and my eye sight, at times, it feels as if life is just passing by too quickly to be perceivable." His voice became vaporous as the drumming claimed his lungs too. "It is almost as if I am living the life of someone else at times, and it has all became so surreal. I do not feel as myself, so I just..stay afloat until one day I do."

Ichigo, a vigilant listener, found his fingers reflexively intertwined with the nobel's as the man briefly explained what had plagued him since the war. He was not a man to speak novels of his misery, or to speak of his misery in any regard. He spoke none on the wounds of his past and merely showed Ichigo just a scintilla of what was behind that hard expression he showed the world, but that was more than enough, because Ichigo could feel the man grow lighter by the syllable. He was just happy he could offer Byakuya relief, if only for a moment, from the mental suffering he had only ever allowed himself to brave alone, because that was exactly what Byakuya did for him. "I would very much enjoy feeling more like myself, so if I need to speak to one of our clan's counselors to achieve this," he reluctantly agreed, "than I suppose I have little choice in the matter."

Ichigo smiled blithely knowing Byakuya was willing to relinquish his pride for the sake of his own well being, considering the noble was not a man to do for himself. "Besides, your obstinate ways would not allow you to leave me be until I did, and I simply have not enough energy to contest you."

"I'm wearing you down, Byakuya," Ichigo smirked.

"And I am sure you are pleased with yourself," Byakuya quipped, "you are ever the cocky one."

"Oh, very," Ichigo remarked playfully. "Soon I'll even get you to call me Ichigo."

"That will happen when you begin to address me formally," Byakuya remarked in return, "Now If you're satisfied with yourself, will you please leave my sleeping quarters."

Ichigo released Byakuya's hand, reluctantly so, but not before looking up to the clock. "You really didn't sleep that long, only a few hours. I should stay and help you sleep more."

"I am plenty refreshed," Byakuya contested, pulling on his silk sleeping rope which began to droop from his shoulder, "I do not have the luxury of languishing my day away when there is paperwork to be done."

"Yeah you do," Ichigo contradicted, "because me and Fujita finished it all."

Byakuya faltered. "All?"

"Divide and conquer," Ichigo smirked. "Look who has people who cares about him, even if he is a pain in the ass."

Despite the irritable huff Byakuya gave, Ichigo could see he was happy from the yellow that sparkled in his eyes. "Fine, I will rest a bit longer, but I do not need your assistance. You have not slept much yourself lately."

Nonchalantly shrugging a shoulder, Ichigo claimed, "I have the vitality of youth on my side."

"Kurosaki," Byakuya said, appearing almost bashful, "I am not being stubborn here. I am simply telling you I feel as if I will be able to sleep restfully today after our conversation."

Ichigo gapped marginally at the implications before a heart warming smile found him. "Okay Byakuya," he digressed as he lifted to his feet. "I'll rest too then."

As Ichigo left, Byakuya lied back down and felt as if he melted into the duvet. Somehow Ichigo could always leave him feeling positively creamy, making everything feel lighter even when he seemed to uproot and alter all of the rules Byakuya had set for himself. The Kuchiki noble couldn't help but to smile a bit as the soft rhythm of rain pelted the earth and signaled the dawning of a rain storm. _'Thank you, Ichigo. You are the most beautiful storm I never realized I wanted.'_

 **xXx**

Zangetsu strolled lazily along the confines of his inner world, kicking some debris that cloyed the often desolate expression of Ichigo's soul. He looked up towards the sky as the feeling of drizzle painted his face.

' _Why would I attempt such a thing when there is nothing to fix? Your sorrow is very much a part of who you are. Without experiencing that sorrow, you would not be the man you are today. The rain that fills you, do you not see this is where your greatest power comes from? It is spectacular.'_ "He's right, King. Maybe the rain isn't so bad after all."

Zangetsu dropped his head and caught sight of an erect sakura tree standing pridefully amidst the tangled mess of sideway buildings. "Moonbeam?" he baffled.

Suddenly, something staggering occurred. The spirit no longer stood just amongst the vast and vacuous landscape of his home, but amongst the expanse of a thriving garden. He could feel both no wind and a breeze, smell both nothing and flowery aromas, feel both his own emotions and the emotions of another. It was as if he was in two bodies, two realities, two consciousnesses.

As a hollow/sword spirit, Zangetsu had seen many things in his time, many of those things being peculiar. Cycle after cycle of reincarnations, even those of which his king's shinigami powers were never awoken, he had always been apart of Ichigo's soul, and therefore he thought himself desensitized to the bizarre, but quickly learned that was not the case. In all of his days, he'd never experienced something so jarring.

"Why do you insist on calling my master by such a silly nickname," asked a haughty yet familiar voice.

Zangetsu looked to his side to see Senbonzakura standing beside him in both versions of his reality. "Sunshine!? What the hell are you doing in my inner world? Wh-why am I in your inner world? HOW AM I IN TWO WORLDS AT THE SAME TIME!?"

"I believe I asked you a question first," sniffed the regal samurai, crossing his arms childishly.

"I think this is a little more important!" Zangetsu reasoned. Though, seeing the samurai was not going to budged, he groaned in submission. "Ugh, fine! His name's Byakuya, right? Byakuya means 'white night', like something so white it lights up the dark. It reminds me of the moon."

The samurai stood silently for a moment before saying, "That's rather beautiful."

"Well your master's a beautiful guy," Zangetsu rebutted with a smirk. "You are too, even if you hide it behind that mask." Seemingly able to feel the other spirit's emotions as his own, he could feel the samurai growing flustered.

"We-well of course I am!" he bellowed in a show of temper that was much greater than his master's. "I have pride in everything, including my appearance!"

Zangetsu just held his ever present smirk in place. "That's good to know, Senny. Now will you please tell me what the hell is going on here?"

The samurai sighed wistfully, and Zangetsu could feel his euphoria. "This is what we call soul lock."

"Soul lock?" the spirit echoed.

"Yes," the samurai nodded. "It is when two souls tether to such a degree that they lock into place. It's extremely rare."

Raking his hand through his frost white tresses in a show of confusion, Zangetsu asked, "That doesn't make sense. If it has to do with closeness, why only with Moonbeam? He's just as close to that feisty midget."

"Because it has nothing to do with two soul's level of closeness, but how they complement each other."

"Wait! So are we talking about soulmate stuff here?"

"No," the samurai answered definitively. "This is nothing quite as idealistic as soulmates or a lover's bond, nor is it fated." He gave a sentimental, fanatical sigh that made the other spirit smile at it's warmness. "Though that would be quite romantic, wouldn't it? No, this is complete serendipity, and it is equally as beautiful in it's rarity. You see," he went on to clarify, "both of our masters are two complete people, both equipped with their virtuous and their faults. They need no one else to complete them, however, sometimes a soul will come around that is so compatible to their own, that it will only help their soul flourish, bring out the best parts of that soul. The reason behind this rarity is because it's not so atypical for one soul to have all the aspects needed to be compatible _for_ another, or at least, for one soul to _think_ another soul has all of these things as my master did with his late wife, but it's extremely rare for two souls to complement each other both equally and to such a high degree."

The sword spirit nodded in understanding as he sat against the trunk of sakura tree, or in his world, the wall of a skyscraper. The samurai did the same, sitting on the opposite side of the tree and the adjacent wall of the topsy building. "So why this? What's this weird connection between us?"

The samurai looked up to the sky that did not cease with a smile as he removed his mask. "Their soul lock has just awaken. As a result of soul lock, two soul's can share a consciousness. I am not really in your world as much as you are not really in mine. All they must do is intertwine their soul ribbons to do this also. They will be able to sense and feel as the other does. Also, they could share memories if they so choose."

"So they don't know?"

"No, not yet."

"Well what are we waiting for?" The spirit urged, "Let's tell them!"

"Don't be foolish," the samurai admonished, "It has just been awaken but not realized. You can not rush these things. Neither of our masters are in the place to comprehend such a connection."

The sword spirit scratched his head pensively. "You're right. King's so dense and fragile about some emotional stuff that he'd probably go cationic learning all this."

"Zangetsu-san?" the samurai addressed.

"No need to be so formal with me, Senny," the spirit smirked. "I think we're beyond that."

"Very well," the samurai acquiesced. "I shall give you a nickname," he declared with a blush. "It is only fair."

Endeared, Zangetsu chuckled, "Go ahead."

"You shall be called Zan!" the samurai decreed as if he was passing favor on some important law, making the other spirit bite his lip at how adorable the formidable samurai was capable of being. "As I was saying, I can feel you as I can feel myself. I can feel your hostility, your passion, your confidence, and I must say, you are a beautiful spirit."

Though he didn't think it was possible with his boney, ashen flesh seeming almost bloodless, the spirit blushed for the first time in his long life. "You too, Senny…"

"I also feel that you find yourself charmed by me," the samurai all but whispered.

Smirking, the spirit rebutted, "And you find yourself flustered by me."

Before the samurai could respond, he felt a churning melancholy in his gut that he knew was not his own. "Zan, you are sad. Why?"

"You said soul lock wasn't a romantic thing, right?" the spirit asked, shifting uncomfortably against the hard material at his back.

"It is not intrinsically romantic. However," he informed, "the intimacy lends itself to a romantic relationship."

"So do you think they're in love, our masters?"

After a moment of silent contemplation, the samurai assessed, "I think they have every possibility to be one day. We both know our masters well, so I can say with certainty that the feelings my master holds for yours are well beyond platonic."

"Yeah, I can say the same for King," he sighed

"Then why does this make you sad," the samurai glowered, feeling his own empathetic sadness.

Zangetsu tutted in frustration. "King, he's so fucking dense sometimes, like how he never realized that human girl loved him for years. I never let him in on the oh so obvious crush because I knew the feelings weren't returned, but this is different. I don't want him missing out because he can't get a goddamn clue."

"But as you just said," the samurai pointed out, "he did not return those feelings, but he does return my masters. The brain sometimes takes a while to catch up with the heart, but eventually, it will."

For whatever reason, the comforting logic of the samurai did not quell him. "I think seeing his mom die messed him up in that department," the spirit explained. "His best example of love ended in tragedy. Ever since then, I think he unconsciously avoids those types of relationships. He always says he doesn't have time or something like that, so he just doesn't regard it." Scowling, he added, "Shit, he even ignores any physical attraction he feels."

"Does Kurosaki-sama not usually find others attractive?"

Zangetsu shrugged a shoulder. "I mean, he's found a few girls kind've good looking." Laughing nostalgically, the spirit reminisced, "When he reached the age where he'd start waking up with boners, he remembered the guys at his school talking about porno magazines, and he got into his old man's stash. I can't even say he's really into girls solely. I think that's just what he thinks is normal, and since he never gave it any thought or care, the dumb ass doesn't really know what he is. I know one thing though, he sure does likes Moonbeam a lot."

"Zan," the spirit prompted curiously, "what are porno magazines?"

This sent rivets of laughter through the sword spirit. Through breathy chuckling, he said, "I'll tell you when you're older. You're too innocent to corrupt quite yet. Ahh..anyway," his voice took a more somber tone, "I just hope he figures it out."

"One can not outrun the heart, Zan. Trust me, he will figure it out one day," the samurai reassured. "Also, the way most soul's actualize their soul lock is by means of extreme emotion. If one of them is to experience an emotion to it's max, the other will automatically be thrusted into their consciousness."

Grinning foolishly, Zangetsu mused, "It's sort've poetic, ain't it?"

"How so?"

"Well," he explained, "If they share a consciousness, Moonbeam will be able to see through King's eyes. King helps Moonbeam see."

The samurai gave another romantic sigh. "I do not think he needs a shared consciousness to do that. Kurosaki-sama has already shown him so much, even in the dark."

For a while, the two sat in a velvety silence, enjoying the lulling company of the other's vicinity. "Zan," the samurai finally spoke up, "can I ask of you a favor?"

"Anything, Senny," said the spirit.

"Earlier, when Kurosaki-sama held my master's hand," he began with a blush, "though I could not feel it myself, I could sense that it made him feel tingly and warm." Demurely, the samurai questioned with a simper, "Can I hold yours? I've always wanted to know what it felt like, this touch that soul's find so imperative."

Zangetsu chuckled and smirked as he laid his hand upturned towards the middle of the tree trunk. "Didn't I say anything?"

Carefully, the samurai placed his hand near the vortex where the two adjacent walls met and intertwined his fingers with Zangetsus. His eye became saucers, and his breath abandoned him at the sensation. "How curious, your hands are cold and hard."

The sword spirit was going to inquire on if that was a bad thing, but he could already feel the answer swelling in his chest.

"Yet…it feels fantastic," he exclaimed with all the childlike amazement he could muster. "So this is what it feels like to hold another's hand?"

"No," the spirit corrected with a chuckle, "this is the way it feels the hold hands with someone special."

 **xXx**

 **Magician Girl Mirani: Hello again! Thank you for taking the time to review. Later on Byakuya will get different things that will help with his current disability. I know brail lessons will be a thing, but maybe audio books too! Theres so much I want to do, but this fic is already going to be the size of a harry potter novel! Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying this story. Most of the fic is character driven. There is plot, but it's so far between that it really drags out. I dig that though. Your little joke about the archery made me crack up. :) lol Thank you for that.**

 **Tifanny91: Ah! I hope one day you will do an english fic, and if you need a beta, I'm your girl! I also wanted to thank you for commenting on my other story. I've been meaning to message you, but lost track of time. I swear I have the attention span of a gold fish. Ichigo and Byakkuya are good at bringing out the best qualities in each other, as you see in this chapter. I just believe their personalities could mesh so well. Ahh, I don't want to ruin it, but let's say you're burning up with the orange thing(I don't know if they do the 'You're getting warm, you're getting cold' thing in France to say if you're close to getting something right. Theres a whole game for it in America. lol) I'm glad you enjoyed the part where Byakuya talks about using his other senses. It's very important, and we don't realize how much we rely on our sight. Oh, I know, the elders can be horrible, but I think you'll like where the heir thing goes. Thank you as always, love! :)**

 **kiel Chea: Yess, you have a great taste in music. Hahaha, Oh yeah, eventually something will crawl up there. This thing is ratted M for a reason.**

 **LustfulAvarices: Thank you for your continued support! Your words flatter me, and I hope I can continue to live up to you expectations. One day, I promise I won't make you cry! lol.**

 **Engkantada1905: Wellll, I don't want to ruin anything, but I will give you a hint. I don't write Mpregs. It's not that I have anything against them, their just not my thing. However, this is the soul society where they can basically create life out of nothing. So who knows what may happen. ;) Thank you for your support, dear.**

 **siwon611: I think you'll like where the heir thing leads *Fingers crossed* Thank you for your support! I look forward to hearing from you!**


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Okay guys, so this is going to be one of those notes where I ramble. Bare with me. No one said anything about it, but it's bothering me, so I'll touch on it quickly. I don't want anyone to think that this soul lock situation is going to bastardize all Byakuya goes through with his blindness. I don't want anyone to think, 'Oh, he can just soul lock with Ichigo and see, so none of this really matters.' It's not like that, there are sever limits on it's usage which you'll find out more about later in the story. Even though it does become a part of the plot later, for the most part, it's more of a way to show snippets of Senbonzakuras and Zangetsues relationship. I like the idea of them paralleling Byakuya and Ichigo throughout the story.

So a little cannon fact you may not know about Ichigo(Because it was in a character book and not the manga/anime) he really likes Shakespeare! So I head cannon that he really enjoys reading.(I also use this as my justification as of why Ichigo can speak some English, plus, in Japan, I'm pretty sure they learn English all throughout their schooling like they do in many other countries.) He also really likes spicy food. Similarly, though a lot of people characterize Byakuya as not being able to cook because of his servents, he actually makes seaweed ambassadors bake goods in the cannon of the series, and apparently, their really good. (Ichigo says so himself! Look at him, supporting his bae.) I bring this up because I mention these things in this chapter.

The song Byakuya is playing on the piano in this chapter is Bon Ivor's "I can't make you love me/in the nick of time." (Beautiful song!)

I wrote a skeleton out for this story so I could figure out how many chapters it will have, and it's looking like there will be about 26. I'm not sure if this is impressive or just sad. lol Don't worry though, I'm not cruel, so I won't make you wait all 26 chapters for them to confess their feelings.

This chapter actually only took me so long because I've been writing a three shot called Drowning In the Blue. If you want to read another ByaIchi story, or if you just want to support me, check it out.

 **Terms/things to know**

'Kuyakik: In japan, its typical for people to combine their last and first names to get a nickname. This is the last part of both Byakuya's first and surname. I thought it sounded really cute.

hachibantai: Eighth division

ryoka: An outsider who does not aline themselves with S.S

san-seki: Third seat

 **Song: Ben Howard "The Fire."**

Good Vibes ~ Ashes **.**

 **The Trouble He Couldn't See Coming**

 **xXx**

" **Be my shelter, and I'll be your storm."**

 **Three weeks later.**

Amongst the soft breeze and limpid sky, Byakuya and Ichigo enjoyed their short yet eagerly anticipated lunch hour, which the two always spent together, feasting on whatever divine cuisine Byakuya's personal chefs concocted that day. It was always something different and always a surprise to the Kuchiki lord. Ichigo learned that Byakuya actually liked for his meals to be a constant mystery, explaining that it mixed up his sometimes banal, day-to-day routine, even if that routine had been sent spinning into a jumbled, snafu of post-war noble duties, special training, braille lessons, and spring days spent with the brash yet enjoyable Ichigo Kurosaki.

Today they received the hellishly spicy geki kara miso ramen, which was basically a bowl of noodles floating in a good half inch of chili oil. It was perfected with a goulash of whatever ambrosial ingredients the chefs added, and It was also a strenuous workout for both one's taste buds and digestive system. Ichigo had learned that they both had an affinity for spicy food, though while Ichigo was but a novice at ingesting such dishes, Byakuya was a master at the feat, not a drop of sweat glistening on his ivory skin. Ichigo, on the other hand, looked as if he just sprinted ten miles without seize and had already had Fujita bring him three whole glasses of milk in the ten minutes the two had been eating - which did nothing for the torrid tingling of his lips.

The second in command noticed the way his captain's petal-soft, pink lips would purse, always a smirk or some other unceremonious expression just begging to be teased, tempted, or agitated out. Though he rarely gave into the prodding. Ichigo could see the way his lips twitched with a desire to crack an amused smile at Ichigo's valiant attempts to stomach the editable lava, all without the need for goading.

Just through their usual back and forth that the two had become accustomed too, Byakuya and Ichigo began to share and learn more about each other without any conscious effort on their parts. Personal quirks and memories flowed out naturally in this comforting companionship the two had created over the last couple of weeks. For instance, they learned about each other's families. Byakuya divulged the few fond moments he had with his father and described the warm person he knew Sōjun to be with an animation and affection that could only be detected if you knew the Kuchiki lord and his subtle mannerisms well. Likewise, Ichigo talked about growing up with "goat face" as a father, and though he spoke with a certain degree of hostility and vexation towards the older Kurosaki, Byakuya could ascertain the substantial bond that existed between the two men by the almost comically nostalgic grin he could hear in Ichigo's voice when he chronicled his father's antics. When Ichigo spoke about his sisters, however, with a tender and almost wistful dissipation, it exhibited such a charming and blatantly sensitive side of the young man that the noble got so few glances of.

They chatted casually about many things and traded antidotes from their lives previous of each other. Byakuya talked neutrally on his strenuously focused childhood and the ways of which he'd been cultivated from birth to be the epitome of nobility, cultured and well-rounded with his rigorous schedule and forced lessons, of which ranged from archery, foreign languages, fine arts, and the performing arts, not to mention his regular training and schooling. From all the subjects he was made to invest his time in, now in his adulthood, Byakuya found his zest preserved by the arts and history.

Despite the equitable manner of which Byakuya delved into his past, Ichigo couldn't help but to gain a deeper compassion and understanding for the person Byakuya was. His every moment had been planned out for him in this stringent and high stakes life he'd been born into. With no choice in the matter, since birth, Byakuya had to live this dogmatic, rule bound existence, a lofty weight of the continuation and insurance of a whole clan and it's traditions falling on his shoulders. This only left Ichigo with great admiration at the noble's ability to balance this and still hold true to himself when he rebelled against such oppression for the sake of his wife. Even when he lost his way and gave into the decree of Rukia's sentence, he still found his way back. It put a lot in perspective for Ichigo, and he now knew Byakuya to be quite the man, one someone could aspire too.

Ichigo, too, talked about his life, which at times, seemed the direct antithesis to Byakuya's. Other than seeing ghost, he had the typical and expected life of a young boy, marked by it's own unique trials and tribulation. Briefly, yet yearningly, he spoke on his mother before her death and his self imposed quest of protection afterwards. Though this was a no news to the Kuchiki lord, as he found the young man as admirable as always. Ichigo was just a boy who's normal life betrayed his distinctively powerful lineage. He had merely stumbled into his destiny, and there was no rhyme or reason for Ichigo to exhibit an other-worldly, pernicious strength and resolve usually reserved for those who were born into such a demanding life other than the fact he was Ichigo Kurosaki. Like always, Byakuya found him a spectacle to behold.

In ways they differed vastly, but both found satisfaction in hearing and experiencing those contrasting idiosyncrasies, like Ichigo's love for soccer, or the way Byakuya once enjoyed baking with his father even if he would never eat the sweets they made. Byakuya especially appreciated the opportunity to learn more about the World of the Living. Mutually, they could always relate on their esteem and aesthetic sense towards reading and music, which was one of the reason's the record player was now permanently stationed under the overhang on the deck.

Throughout their meal, while a melodic song swirled around the two, there was a tense, deliberate silence that hung heavy with something unspoken on the noble's part. This weight was only intensified by a plum hue that burned in his eyes.

If Ichigo didn't know any better, he'd say Byakuya had purposefully chose such a meal so he could humor himself with the knowledge that Ichigo was writhing in pain.

Finally, a good fifteen minutes into their meal, Byakuya gingerly sat aside his utensils, overlapped his hands, and asked, "Will you please refrain from addressing me so formally in front of one of my clan elders?"

Ichigo wore his obvious confusion on his face as he tried to recall what exactly Byakuya was going on about. Eventually it came to him, the instant he found so trivial that it was practically forgotten the moment it came out of his mouth. As the pair were heading to the garden for their lunch, Byakuya was approached by one of the elders. When he told Ichigo to go ahead, Ichigo said okay, and like he'd done a dozen times prior to that, he addressed the noble as Byakuya.

It wasn't as if he didn't remember telling Byakuya he'd address him formally in front of others, but it was merely a slip of the tongue, a habit of which the young man had become accustomed to. To Ichigo, getting worked up over something so frivolous seemed petty.

"What," he tutted as he put aside his half empty bowl for Fujita's disposal, "you don't want anyone to know we're friends?"

Byakuya sighed and responded curtly, "That is not the point."

Ichigo leaned back on one palm and used his free hand to drink some milk in hopes to negate the last of his sweltering. After he finished, he asked, "Then what is?" Scowling, he added, "And what's this about anyway? If you were pissed, why'd you just sit there for so long and not say anything?"

Byakuya had been asking himself the same question for the majority of their delicious, albeit stifling meal. His censorship, though tempestuous, was rather obvious, and even though he did not want to explain himself to the man, he supposed it was only fair. "That is simple. While I wish for you to regard me formally, at the very least, in front of my elders, I empathize with the fact that it may be difficult for you to remember when you call me by my given name so freely." As Fujita came to retrieve their bowls, he paused until she retreated. "I attempted to let it go, however, that does not make it any less important to me, and If I said nothing, It would continue to be a problem. I'm not attempting to reprimanded you, but merely reminding you," he clarified before picking up his cup of ginger tea and taking a sip.

The devil-may-care teen shifted his weight on his palms and put one flat down on his stuffed stomach "I still don't get why it matters so much what those guys think."

The Kuchiki lord perked an eyebrow on his otherwise listless face. "As I have explained, I am not ashamed, however I am also not a flagrant man. A man in my position must not only play politics, but I am also scrutinized in all of my actions. Without discretion, my life would have little peace. Perhaps you do not understand my reasoning, but I had hoped with our mutual grounding, you would have a least found compassion in our dissimilarities as I have with you. At least enough to take consideration on what I embark upon you as important." Sniffing haughtily, Byakuya concluded, "I guess not. Since you find yourself hard pressed to regard such a thing, I believe it would be better if you were to call me Kuchiki Taichou consistently."

Byakuya lifted his cup once more as his thick lashes eclipsed light years of constellations that were staunch in his eyes, connecting together to tell the story of his sadness. Like a tattle ready child, his eyes betrayed the truths his hardened face tried to conceal.

Only Ichigo didn't need those dysphoric star clusters to realize he hurt the man's feelings, nor to make him glower with unabashed guilt. Without fuss, Byakuya endured Ichigo's lack of formalities, because he knew such things weren't the way the young man expressed his respect for a person. If anything, he'd been accommodating if not charmed by Ichigo's lack of restraint. Still, Byakuya had explained to him - in so many words - the manner of which his elders inspected his personal ongoings with a fine tooth comb and used any abnormalities to their favor. More so, some often liked to mold Byakuya as if he was malleable clay, ready to shape him into whatever form they so desired. Flagrant sentiments with his subordinates did not make for the flawless, marble statue they attempted to chisel the noble into, and though Ichigo didn't always understand why he put up with it, he also understood that he could never really get the stress and expectations of what it meant to bare the Kuchiki prestige.

"I'm sorry, Byakuya," Ichigo atoned, prompting the other man to look up curiously. "I don't always get why you put up with their crap, but I don't have to. If it's important to you, it's important to me." Ichigo gave a half hearted chuckle. "I know I can be an ass sometimes, but I always get there."

With one sincere apologize, Byakuya's body noticeably relaxed, as if he'd been taunting his posture in an effort to feign sternly displeased. His eye's were burnished with yellow orange specks which shined brighter than the sun that permeated through the foliage of the surrounding plum trees. "You are just a foolish _boy,_ so I should expect you to be a bit slow on the upstart," he rebutted with a playful intent, causing Ichigo to snort and roll his eyes in response.

Smirking mischievously, Ichigo poised, "Maybe we can meet in the middle. How about I call you 'Kuyakik?" Gauging the mortified magenta that flushed the noble's eyes, Ichigo felt rather pleased by the reaction he caused. He made a mental note to keep that one in his arsenal.

"How about you do not, and I allow you to keep all of your limbs attached to your body?"

"I'm shaking with fear, 'Kuyakik," Ichigo mocked dryly.

"How did your father raise you?"

Ichigo waved his hand flippantly. "Don't worry, I don't respect him either."

Before he could press the porcelain rim of his cup to his lips, Byakuya let out a sigh of constricted amusement. "I have met your father, so I can not fault you there." Ichigo let out a laugh, and as the gleeful sound usually did, it caused Byakuya's ears to smile. The young noble wondered when he started coveting those rare, authentic sounds of joy.

After blinking thoughtfully to himself, Byakuya inquired, "Would you like to do some light reading before we must resume our work?"

Ichigo, who ruffled away some wayward petals that had gotten stuck in his carelessly tousled locks, asked, "What do you have in mind?"

The young man couldn't remember when, but this, too, had become a regular activity the two indulged in. While Byakuya was learning braille, he wasn't able to read, something he use to do daily. Then one day, Ichigo was reading, and he just began to read out loud for no other reason than wanting to noble to experience the felicity literature brought them both.

"Hmm. Perhaps Shakespeare, I know you enjoy his works."

Ichigo snorted. "You call that light reading?"

"Just wait until you read War and Peace," Byakuya said. "Though, you would probably find the English of such a text much too arduous."

"Hey! I'm not dense, ya' know? I'm actually pretty damn smart."

Unable to help some of that typical Kuchiki dryness from coming out, Byakuya deadpanned, "I know you have quite the brain, just not if you use it."

"Fine!" Ichigo hissed, standing to his feet, "see If I read with you now."

"I was merely taunting you, Kurosaki Ichigo," Byakuya condoned, hardly managing to curb the disappointment that struck him.

Bracingly, Byakuya felt the tepid breath of Ichigo rolling across his ear, the spicy ginger mix making the noble's breathing space humid, and his head was whirling as a side effect. "I know, I was too," he uttered with an impish smirk, the sharp diction of his words prickling at the nobles neck until a wave of heat crept over him. Byakuya's eyes liquefied into pools of silver as he caught his breath against the contagious airborne sensation. "I'm going to get the book. I'll be right back, _'Kuyakik_."

As Ichigo retreated towards the library, Byakuya shook off the foreign reaction. _'I have never...felt something like that before. Perhaps with Ichigo, but never to such a degree._ The noble sighed and put it to the back of his head. _'It is not so odd, I suppose. Of course, I react to him differently than I do anyone else because he is like no one else._ _I do not have a relationship as the one I have with him with anyone else, so it makes sense that the feelings he imbues from me are unique.'_

 **xXx**

The next day, while Ichigo was spending the early morning working with the division, Byakuya sat in a special sanctum, a place only he ventured. The grounds that surrounded the Kuchiki estate were much more than a mere garden. They were a fanciful torsion, a paradisiacal labyrinth for one in search of being lost within the throws of nature. From a single grass carpeted path veered many avenues, each with discoveries to be marveled. Every section had been handled by the meticulous, life rearing hands of a different clan head, and strolling amongst them was like walking back in time.

From the rose garden that stung with it's lively red, to the stretch of mossy meadows teeming with wildflowers, to the vineyards dripping with succulent reapings, one could practically feel the souls of their forefathers lingering in the soil.

Byakuya often wondered what value each clan head held in their fragment of the garden and if it meant as much as sakura's did to him. He wondered what plagued these powerful men. Did they share their woes with the bluebells and whisper their secrets to the wind? Did they give their tears to the bobbing koi's in the oasis? He wondered how much sorrow lived within such beauty, and if they sometimes fantasized about forever dwelling amongst their own creations like he once did.

If he was silent and still, sometimes he could sense the answers. He could feel the force of all those who came before him and all those who would come afterwards sprouting in every corner.

The noble walked down a tunnel of geiko trees so vibrantly golden in their umbrage that they put the sky shame. At the end of the pathway laid a gilded sanctuary for all of the Kuchiki clan's personal Jigokucho. Legions of butterflies sliced the air with the soft fluctuating of their wings as they sat unperturbed in their idle drift.

With his walking cane, the noble glided to the middle of the room where a grand piano sat. He took a seat and folded his cane before placing it against the music rack. Delicately, he lifted the fall bored and skimmed his fingers over the ivory teeth of the instrument.

Since the end of the war, since he was born, really, nothing had been easy, but this was the way the Kuchiki lord liked it. Surly he lived a privileged life, one of servants and luxuries not known to most men, but such privilege came with a rigor that most couldn't handle. However, this was anything but extraordinary, as he was born with much of his life already plotted before him. In this regard, difficult was his easy, and all he had to do was go with the grain if he wanted to continue on this leveled path.

He supposed it was only in his nature to choose the road less worn, though scabrous it might be, because when his path split, and he had to choose between marrying the woman he loved and straying from his predestined path or keeping straight ahead, he didn't think twice before his feet deviated.

Now this road felt more like a tightrope, a balancing act that could destroy him with one fumbled foot fall. At a time, he tried to turn back around, reclaim his old, comfortable path, but he found his heart just didn't live there. Or more so, Ichigo showed him that. So he continued on with the trek, every step a difficulty he chose long ago, and now, visionless, he stood at his biggest pothole yet.

He had to ponder if one day he'd get to the end and every difficulty would be worth it, if he would get a piece of serenity to call his own. These thoughts stayed with him lately. His old friend, hope, once more sat cruelly on his heart, and he couldn't be certain as to why. Maybe it was the heir he was to bare in a year's time making him question if it was too idealistic or too much to dream for something precious to call his own. A family, perhaps. He dared not even muttered the words or give credence to the thought. Last time he had reached out for such a thing, it all withered away in his possessive grasp. Hope, as it always did, slapped his hand away, and he should've known better by now.

Still, despite his attempts to suffocate these thoughts, something inside of him wouldn't rest. It twitched with the idea that maybe one day hope wouldn't be so ruthless.

Byakuya let his fingers float over the keys in consideration. Being blind, well, there was nothing he could really compare it too. It was not as if he didn't find himself facing the challenges well. He'd picked up tricks here and there that made everyday task simpler, such a always keeping a grasp on something, even when he set it down, or having Ichigo crease the signature line of his paperwork so he could use it as a guid. He wore a tactile watch so he could always tell the time without the assistance of another, and he found himself getting around with much more confidence. However, that was not to say that these stumbling motions did not wear on him.

Honestly, he was tired. The constant exertion to just do basic task could get overwhelmingly exasperating at times, and he found himself yearning for just one thing that did not require his maximum effort, just one thing to make him not feel completely imbecilic. For that reason, he found himself here.

Piano had been one of the talents he kept up with since he was a child, and it required no sight on his part. All he had to do was close his eyes and let his fingers do the rest. It was as if his muscles just remembered, and it flowed out with dexterity.

Usually he'd play a classical selection, but today he wanted to play a song Ichigo had shown him. About a week ago, Ichigo had asked to take a day off and return to the Living World, considering he left so abruptly. Byakuya was more than inclined to agree, seeing as he felt both guilty for Ichigo being here in the first place and sympathetic towards what it meant to miss one's family. A part of him wished Ichigo had decided to stay in the Living World, while another part of him, a selfish and perhaps bigger part, wanted him to return. Which, of course, he did, hauling a tote of books and records his friends and family sent back with him.

He had records from a wide range of musicians, encompassing many different nationalities. The young man was actually rather eclectic, Byakuya found out. Ichigo showed Byakuya some of the music he thought he'd enjoy, and while it was different from the more traditional style of music Byakuya listened to, he liked the soothing melodies and colorful lyrics.

Tentatively, Byakuya pressed on a few keys to work out the structure of the song, but with his masterful ear, he was able to mimic it quickly.

" _Turn down the light._

 _Turn down the bed._

 _Turn down these voices inside my head._

 _Lay down with me._

 _Tell me no lies._

 _Just hold me close._

 _Don't patronize me..."_

He had been thinking of Hisana more fervently of late, but not so much of his love for her or their short lived union. No, he'd been only able to concentrate on the love she had never been able to return, where they went wrong, where he went wrong. He was unsure of why he seemed to be punishing himself with these incessant thoughts lately, but none the less, it was one of the reasons he found himself drawn to this particular song.

" _Cause I can't make you love me if you don't_

 _You can't make your heart feel something it won't_

 _Here in the dark, in these final hours I will lay down my heart, and I'll feel the power, but you won't.._

 _No, you won't. 'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't_ "

So invested in his playing he became, the Kuchiki lord didn't seem to notice when Ichigo, who had been given direction via Fujita, flashed upon his performance and stood in vigil.

" _Here in the dark, In these final hours I will lay down my heart, and I'll feel the power, but you don't._

 _No, you don't. I can't make you love me, if you don't…"_

With splendor, the young man watched the nimble fingers dance across the keys with breeze as such an enthralled expression flashed across the Kuchiki lord's face. It was trance inducing to watch someone be so arrested that they shut out the world around them. He watched intently, captured by Byakuya's captivation as he both played and sung beautifully, and with such a lull that even the butterflies landed on his shoulders and lightly flapped their wings as if drumming along to the beat.

Despite all the sorrow invoked in the lyrics, it was the last verse - which resonated with hopefulness - that really drew the man to the song.

' _I_ _found love darling..._

 _I found love darling..._

 _I found love darling, yeah…_

 _I found love darling, darling, love in the nick of time…_

 _I found love darling, yeah, love in the nick of time…'_

The last note echoed against the bars and left behind a ringing. Byakuya let out a content sigh, only to jolt his eyes open at the sound of a slow, steady clap. "Kurosaki Ichigo, I did not know I had an audience"

Usually, Byakuya would have sensed him, so the fact he didn't illustrated how absorbed in his playing he'd became. "As you should," Ichigo grinned as he walked over. "Playing that good should be experienced by people who can appreciate it."

"I merely dabble," Byakuya said as he closed the fall board.

Ichigo sat backwards on the bench and leaned his elbows against the instrument.

"Phf, " he scoffed, "You say that, but you just learned that song recently. I could tell you were playing by ear."

"Oh yes? And how would you know that?"

After giving a smug hum, Ichigo spun around and lifted the fall bar back up. He interlaced his fingers and stretched them against each other before playing a few riffs.

"I did not know you played also." Ichigo smirked.

"I merely dabble."

Byakuya gave an almost non existent smirk in return.

"You are full of surprises, Kurosaki Ichigo. How did you learn?"

"My mom. I really only remember a few things, because I didn't keep it up after awhile."

"Why?" asked Byakuya Ichigo shrugged a shoulder aloofly. "I gave up a lot of things after her death. Guess I didn't want to think about it more than I had too, but looking back on it, I wish I kept up with it." Running his fingers across the keys just barely, he sighed, "I use to be really into it."

Byakuya hummed thoughtfully and found himself wondering what face the young man was wearing. He wondered if it would demonstrate the sadness he could tell such memories brought to Ichigo, or if it run and hide like a fearful child trembling underneath their bed. Somehow he knew it wouldn't matter, because Ichigo gifted the noble with the burdens that weighed on him, and Byakuya saw it as just that, a gift, a honor. He didn't understand how he gained such a trust, a trust that ascended that of a comrade or even most friendships, a trust that granted him access to nothing as shallow as skin nor body but of soul. A trust that, if abused, could puncture him deeper than any blade. It could taint his vulnerability, poison his blood with wariness, harden him from the inside out until no key nor loving smile could pervade such fortified walls.

That was the quickest way to kill a man, watching them tentatively bare their heart for you and taking the opportunity to stab them right through it, only reinforcing what made them doubt opening it to begin with. Ichigo Kurosaki knew nothing of the word weakness, but he handled his feelings cautiously, suspicious of clumsy hands that could not handle the weight of something much more fragile than his body. It was not out of a loss of trust, but a loss of people. Protectors guarded others and themselves by speaking nothing of their pain, because they needed the strength of a bolder to shoulder the weight of the world, but there was always someone protectors forgot to save: themselves.

What Ichigo leaned quickly about Byakuya was, he didn't need protecting, nor did he allow Ichigo to cramp himself in a box and label it hero. He unpacked him, unfolded him, dusted him off, and saw him as so much more than a savior of the Soul Society. Because of that, Ichigo knew his fallibilities were safe in the sheltering and accepting company of the Kuchiki lord, and he did not fear being considered weak or judged. Nor did he fear bringing him down, being pitied, or being scolded for sympathizing with his own sadness - like many others often did. Around this man, he felt free to let his sorrow breath, take big, gasping breaths after being smothered for so long, to just _be_ , because to Byakuya, it was more than accepted, it was golden.

"While I doubt you will be selling out concert halls anytime soon, you are not as rusty as you may believe."

"Between you and me," Ichigo whispered, nudging him playfully, "I would still play some when I was feeling sentimental."

"Your secret is safe with me. I would not want to ruin your aloof reputation." Vaguely, Byakuya added, "When something touches your heart, it never leaves you, even if you leave it. Trust that I know."

"Always so mysterious. You even have a place like this hidden away in secret."

"It is no secret. The grounds are rather large, and I'm sure there is still plenty you have not seen," he explained. "Though, I suppose this is where I enjoy going when I like to be alone."

"Ah, well, I don't mean to intrude on your special place like this. I can leave," Ichigo offered, "if you like."

"I take no issue with your presence. Trust that if I did not want you here, I would let you know," said Byakuya.

Ichigo looked into those vast, hooded globes oxidizing like the brightest star he'd ever seen. They pulled him with their gravity.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's your round about way of saying you want me here," he taunted.

"You may be corrected," Byakuya mused, "Or perhaps I have just learned to tolerate your vicinity. You can be charming in a rather obtuse way."

The scintilla of a curve on Byakuya's lips made Ichigo drop his scowl and snort. "Well whatever the reason," he fanned his gaze across the space before looking back into Byakuya's eyes, "thanks for letting me stay, Byakuya. I really like it here."

"My pleasure," Byakuya said softly, earning him a peaceful sigh.

Byakuya turned his head and broke the silence. "Besides, you must have came here to speak with me about something, yes?" "Yeah," Ichigo said, coiling his first resolutely. "Ishida and I are going in front of Central tomorrow with Urahara and Kyoraku to talk about our plans at peace with the Quincys and revising the law, which you know already."

Byakuya gave a promoting nod. "Well I've been thinking about when I become a taichou, and I was thinking of opening a subdivision for all the variants. Arrancars, Visored, maybe even Fullbringers." Taking note of Byakuya's unreadable face, he continued, "You know as well as I do that some of the Shinigami have a really bad attitude towards anyone different after the war, an-

"And you think doing something like this will be an impetus for tolerance, show the other Shinigami that we can all coexist."

Ichigo smiled softly. "Yeah, plus, while Hueco Mundo has become hard to live in, some of the Arrancars have been given asylum here. They need something to do instead of just hiding out in Urahara's training ground. But I know Central won't be that easy to convince, and It'll be awhile before I'm a taichou anyway. So in the meantime, as sort've a trial bases, we were thinking of placing Grimmjow and Nel in divisions, since their in the charge of Seritite for the time being."

Smirking, he said, "Grimmjow was an easy placement."

Byakuya's eyebrows creased knowingly. "I am sure Kenpachi Taichou is sharpening his blade as we speak."

"Heh," Ichigo chuckled nervously, "He's the only taichou who would even think to let Grimm near his squad. I just hope they don't end up making a case against me with how destructive they can be."

"Perhaps Kenpachi Taichou is the only one capable of reining him in. At least this gives him an outlet for his pugnacious ways."

Ichigo agreed before shifting in trepidation. Byakuya could sense his apprehension.

"I shudder to think what could make Kurosaki Ichigo speechless."

"I-" Ichigo blurted, "I want you to take Nel. Into your squad, I mean. Kyoraku said he'd do it, but his squad has the most members as is, and I know you're pretty influential with them, and well, I hate asking favors from you, because you've already gave me a lot of advice, and I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of your position or anything," he bumbled on, "because you're my friend and all. So I-"

"Kurosaki Ichigo, your ramblings are not necessary. I know this is not a request that comes from a selfish place. You understand that I, too, agree with your mission of prosperity." The noble paused, and the specks in his eyes glistened with a milky diffraction of greens and reds. Against the inky hue of his iris, Byakuya's eyes took on that of the most precious of black opal. "However, If I stand in front of Central 46 and declare that the Arrancar girl will be in my charge, I do so not with just my name but as the head of my clan. So if it goes awry, it will be a mark against my clan. Knowing this, I know my elders will disapprove. I am sorry, but I can not help you with this."

It was unusual for Ichigo to give up so quickly, however, when Byakuya looked towards him with pigments dancing across his midnight orbs, those electrically charged particles colliding like atoms with the atmosphere of his eyes and making them eerily agleam, Ichigo haltingly bit his lip. Something about those eyes shook him with their uncertainty. They could not find peace, as they looked to him as if they were trying to color in between the blurred lines of what was accepted and what was right, lines they couldn't even pinpoint. They reflected a doubt, and their conflict was not lost on Ichigo.

"It's fine, Byakuya. I shouldn't of asked anyway," Ichigo poised as he got to his feet.

Though it was unlike Byakuya to vindicate his actions more than necessary, something nagging compelled him. "This is not because I do not trust you."

"You don't have to feel guilty on my account."

Byakuya's face hardened marginally. "I feel nothing of the sort. I do not feel guilt when I know I am doing the right thing."

Ichigo pursed his lips and cocked an eyebrow. "Well then, maybe you're not doing the right thing."

Byakuya went to rebuke this, but as he opened his mouth, he found no words. As Ichigo went to exit the sanctuary, he added, "Just don't let the opinions of some old, stuffy guys stop you from doing what's important to you. You're better than that, Byakuya."

With a gust of wind and the scuffing of warjir, Byakuya was left with nothing but pensive silence. "Am I?" Byakuya asked himself, hoping the answer would unearth itself from the depths of his uncertainty

Byakuya reminisced on all the times since Ichigo had thrusted himself into his life, exploded his compliancy, and revived a volition the noble had buried with his wife and child, that Byakuya's pertinaciousness refused to let him settle. For so long, he'd fallen into line, but since that faithful clashing of swords, he could no longer numb his own desires or have a passive position in the direction of his life, even if such free will caused him nothing but trouble. Remarkably, Byakuya thought he liked trouble. Trouble was what he needed.

' _Yes, Ichigo, you are troublesome.'_

With no time to waste, Byakuya stood up with a mission in mind.

 **xXx**

Outside Central 46's headquarters, Ishida stood beside a not so patient Ichigo who paced back and forth with an annoyed scowl plastered on his face.

"Will you stop moving around so much?" Ishida scolded, "You're giving me a headache."

"What's taking those two so long?!" asked Ichigo as he crossed his arms petulantly. "And why's Urahara gotta' be here anyway?"

"To explain the semantics behind altering the Quincy bows." Ishida gave a placating sigh. "I'm sure they will be here shortly."

Raking a hand through his hair compulsively, Ichigo said, "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, I'm just a bit nervous here."

"I believe we are all a bit out of our depths here, Kurosaki-san."

Ichigo snorted at the understatement. "You think? We didn't even graduate high school, and now we're attempting to get into other worldly politics. What the hell was I thinking?"

"Like usual, I believe you were not." At Ichigo's scowl setting deeper on his face, Ishida said, "As long as you don't start yelling at them, we should be fine."

Before Ichigo could form a reply, indigent or the likewise, a breezy, familiar voice drew his attention. "He's right, Kurosaki-san. Central wants peace just as much as we do. No need to be so stressed," Kyoraku assured, tipping his hat in greeting.

Beside him stood the enduringly impish Urahara, his own hat furtively shadowing the crooked grin he adorned. "What's got you so testy today, Kurosaki-san? Kuchiki-Taichou give you a hard time this morning?"

"Maybe he accidentally put sugar in his tea, and Bya-kun let loose Senbonzakura on him," Kyoraku mused as he gave his counterpart a playful grin.

"Or maybe h-"

"Will you two shut your traps!" Ichigo interjected their childish speculation. "We have more important things to do than stand out here and listen to your antics."

"For once I agree with Kurosaki-san," said Ishida.

The two seasoned soldiers shared an amused sideways look before Kyoraku stepped up and said, "Ah, well I guess we better get this show on the road, Kisuke-san. Kid's these days can't appreciate our pace." The commander administered a comforting pat to Ichigo's back as he headed the group towards the estuary of the impressive and rather daunting Central headquarters. "Relax, Kurosaki-san. It'll help when dealing with this lot."

Following behind the commander, Urahara concealed a chuckle with his open fan. "They can smell fear," he said.

"I don't see how," Ichigo muttered, falling in line with the group, "with you reeking of aftershave and Kyoraku smelling like he mouthwashes with a bottle of sake."

As the group entered through the massive, marble doorways of the headquarters, Ichigo forced his stiff posture to unwind marginally. The interior of the spacious hall was rather minimal and lacked any grandiose embellishment. If anything, the aura emanated was one of consequence and influence, a caliber of which Ichigo had never felt before. He became itchy with nerves, seeing as he was use to working against such an authority, not with it, and found himself wishing Byakuya was there with him. None the less, he pushed down the thought, for it do him little good now. He'd always had a deftness at overcoming obstacles, today would be no different, and at the very least, Byakuya was with him in spirit, since he had the experienced advice of the nobel to fall back on.

The four men stood expectantly among the rows of pedestals arching across the back wall of the space. All forty six member say quietly, each wearing varying degrees of introspection on their faces. In the middle of these rows, one stand was lifted higher than the others. At it sat a plain looking man with lifeless black hair splayed over his dull features, his disposition displaying none of the weight implied by his position.

"Hello gentleman," the man finally spoke up, his voice as monotonous as his appearance. "If I am correct, you four are here to speak on the issue of future relations between the Quincys and the Shinigamis?"

"You would be correct, Grandmaster Akimoto." With a cordial tip of his hat, the commander said, "You are looking well, as always."

The flattery seemingly did nothing for the man, as his eyes glazed over in a tedious fashion. "I am sure. Now let's skip any further formalities and get on with it, yes?"

"Right," nodded the commander. "As you know, the world of the Quincies exist within our own. Of late, there has been a lot of upheave on the part of the Shinigamis. Many want retribution, but most of the more seasoned members can see that this will only lead to further bloodshed." Giving a prompting look toward Uryu, the commander said, "Ishida-san is the rightful heir to the throne. Also, he was paramount in taking out the previous Quincy King, and he is more than willing to work together with the Shinigami's to abate the issues that gave rise to the last two wars."

Akimoto steepled his hands and burrowed his muted eyes into the new Quincy kings. "And in what manner do you plan to go about this, Ishida-san?"

Ishida, calm and collective, nodded his head amicably.

"The biggest issue that divides Shinigami and Quincy are the essence of our powers. While Shinigami purge hallows, Quincy's kill them. Yhwach, the creator of all the Quincys, was the one who created our weapons to work as such. Possibly because, since his inception, it was always his aim to corrupt the balance of our worlds. With the help of Urahara-san, we believe we can fix the way our weapons work against hollows.

Akimoto fretted his brow dubiously. "What about the events prior to the war? If you knew this, why did you still continue to kill Hollows? More so, is it not in a Quincys nature to dislike the Shinigami?"

Ishida gave a concurring nod. "If that's so, it is because of the influence of Yhwach. I will not lie," Ishida confessed, "because of the circumstances revolving the death of my ojii-san, I never liked Shinigami. Even after Mayuri admitted to me that the blame lies on him alone for delaying the squad members meant to protect him, I still harbored a hatred for you beings." With a fierce glare that refused to yield, he continued, "However, since then, I've made friends of quite a few Shinigamis. I also have seen first hand how hasty generalizations can turn deadly. My ojii-san was the man I respected the most, and it was his fervent desire for Shinigamis and Quincy's to coexist peacefully. That's what I want the Quincy legacy to be. As for before the war, I really didn't understand the full weight of what it meant to kill Hollows."

After sitting on that for a while, the Grandmaster asked, "What do we get out of this now, working with you Quincys?"

"Well, first off, the Shinigamis are depleted beyond their limits, and having our help with Hollow exterminations and other duties would be beneficial to you. Also, we have land and agriculture that could provide for some favorable trade."

"And working together will help us better understand each other," Ichigo added, "and hopefully, we can prevent what happened here from ever happening again."

Akimoto gave a look similar to the one people make when staring at the sun, confusingly blinded. "Though I have no issue with the savior of the three worlds being in my court, I must ask, what are you doing here, Kurosaki-san?"

Ichigo gave a quick glance to his three companions, who all nodded in encouragement. "As you know, I'm part Quincy."

The Grandmaster cocked an eyebrow. "I did not."

Looking over to the commander, Ichigo shot him a dirty look, and he simply repaid the gesture with an innocent smile.

"Well, I am," he stated matter of factly. "I have a unique bloodline, and I am friends with Ishida-san, and because of that, I want to be an ambassador for our lands."

Soft murmurs echoed through the room as the Grandmaster looked on confoundedly. "What makes you think we need an ambassador?"

As he contemplated his answer, some of Byakuya's advice came back to him.

" _ **You must be patronizing and domineering, but in a tactful and formal manner. Let them know you will not be pushed around and exsert your control, but also stay collected and seemingly polite. This gives them the least amount of ground to push back on.'**_

" _ **That sounds really complicated."**_

" _ **It is an art, really."**_

' _Here goes nothing…'_

"If I may be so bold to say so, Grandmaster Akimoto-san, keeping peace isn't Central 46's strongest area of expertise, unless you consider three large scale wars under this institution's watch an impressive track record. More so, this monarchy style government does not lend itself to corporation."

Ichigo was silently thanking Byakuya in his head for the days they spend during their lunch having mock debates. He'd ask Ichigo question after question, in which he practiced coming up with quick and savvy rebuttals. By the end, the noble was rather impressed, and it seemed it hadn't been all for nothing.

"As an outsider to this land, who started off as a mere ryoka and holds lineage from the three main races of spiritually inclined beings, I believe I would be more apt to build relations than the honorable yet, at times, outdated members of this court who's particular regime did little to prevent these wars."

The commander pursed his lips and gave an impressed nod towards Urahara, only perfected by the A-Okay symbol he held up.

Urahara whispered, "It looks like division duties aren't the only things our Kuchiki Taichou is teaching Kurosaki-san."

Sandwiched between the two jabber mouths and Ichigo, Ishida sent the two a steely look as pondering murmurs became increasingly louder.

Finally, the thoughtful Grandmaster leaned forward on his elbows and prompted, "You have my attention, Kurosaki-san."

"The fact of the matter is, simply drawing up peace treaties isn't going to change the Shinigamis attitude. You need someone they can listen to, someone who's willing to lead by examples and push them from their zones of comfort."

"And how would you do this?"

"Working in conjunction with the Quincys is a good start, but I also would like to start a subdivision for variants when I become the Taichou of the hachibantai."

"Variants?"

"Yeah, like the Arrancar currently here under asylum, any surviving members of the Visored who may want to return. There are Fullbringers currently in Soul Society I'd like to enlist as well.

Incredulously, Akimoto echoed, "Arrancar?"

"I see you're good at repeating things, but that's not going to get us anywhere, is it, Grandmaster Akimoto?"

At the saucy comment slathered with such a fraudulently polite tone, the commander coughed in his fist to stifle a chuckle, Urahara hid a grin behind his trusty fan, and even Ishida had to bite back a smirk.

Eye's widening marginally, Akimoto said, "You want Hollows walking amongst our Shinigamis, the very creatures they live to purge?!

"Arrancars, not Hollows," Ichigo clipped, sounding more vexed than he intended.

' _ **When having a formal debate or meeting, anger is a weakness. The one who starts yelling and cursing usually does so because they feel frustrated and are losing ground. They resort to yelling over the other to hide their own shortcomings. Do not let them antagonize you, because no matter how right you are, they'll use this against you. Remember you are the one winning and have no reason to rise to their taunting. Be smug, but most importantly, stay composed, Kurosaki Ichigo.'**_

Composure was one thing Byakuya would always have over Ichigo, but still, he tried.

"Don't you think this will make things more tense?"

Ichigo nodded slightly. "Things have to get worse before they get better. Frankly, I could care less about the Shinigamis comfort zones. The only way for someone to become comfortable around different types of people is having to interact with them, and by interacting with variants, we can learn their perspectives and work towards a more stable peace. I'm not saying it will be easy or a quick process, but it'll be worth the work."

By now there was a clamerous goulash of responses and opinions flying around the room, but the Grandmaster seemed to voice the consensus.

"I do not like this idea. Working with Quincys is one thing, but Arrancars in our own divisions?" He scoffed, "Preposterous! What Taichou would even want these _creatures_?"

"There aren't that many Taichou now as is, but Zaraki Taichou has already agreed to take Grimmjow under his charge if this court so allows it, Grandmaster," Ichigo's explained, clutching his fist at the disgusting way he referred to the Arrancar.

"Ha!" he mocked, "He would be the only one. That man is more like a Hollow than he is Shinigami."

"You're just proving my point," Ichigo said. "Shinigami have the capability to be wicked, just as Arrancars have the capability to be virtuous."

"And what of the girl?" He lifted a patronizing eyebrow, "Will no one accept her?"

In the hesitant breath between the question and Ichigo's response, the doors of the headquarters opened, and looking as regal and imposing as ever, Byakuya Kuchiki strolled in with the aid of his walking cane. At his side was the vibrant haired Nelliel Odelschwanck dressed in a shihakushō with her zanpakuto, Gamuza, tied to her obi.

Everyone went silent to watch the pair as they move across the hall, and all members present are wearing flagrant expressions, ranging from shocked, confused, and amused. All you can hear was the pairs footfalls resonating through the vault ceiling.

Under his breath, the commander said, "We've got this in the bag."

"I'd say this is a checkmate," Urahara agreed with a smirk.

Both confused, Ichigo and Ishida ask what they meant.

"Let's just say the moment Kuchiki Taichou walked through the door, we entered his territory.

"He's probably the most cut throat politician in all of the noble clans. If Kuchiki Byakuya want's something, he get's it." Winking at the two men, the commander said, "Watch and learn, boys."

As Byakuya walked up and stopped a few inches beside and in front of the commander, watch they did.

Leaning forward marginally, the commander said, "You're late for the party, Kuchiki Tachiou, I didn't know you were one for dramatic entrances."

"You say dramatic, and I say good timing," Byakuya rebutted while he kept his unseeing glare straight ahead.

A tension became prevalent in the assemblage, and the Grandmaster's posture stiffened. "Lord Kuchiki, what do we owe the privilege?" he asked, wafting his eyes between the noble and the woman at his side.

"Quite the pleasure, Grandmaster Akimoto-san. I am here to tell you of my newly instated san-seki, Odelschwanck-san"

There was a measured pause before the Grandmaster said, "If you truly believe this to be a good idea, then I must say, you have gone blind in more ways than one, Lord Kuchiki.

"Is that so?" Byakuya asked calmly. "I find this ironic, seeing as this court's lack of ability nor desire to see and understand the thoughts of so called enemies is, in portion, the reason for almost two thousand dead soldiers and the upheaval of our land, or did your lack of cooperation with Ishida Souken plans for Quincies and Shinigami to work together years ago slip your mind, Grandmaster Akimoto-san? One could assume that, if you had agreed to such a partnership, perhaps things would have never fallen as they did, or Bach's reign would have been damped with ease, considering the entail Ishida Souken could have provided. Years of service must be weighing on you, yes? I imagine you've grown tiresome." Not letting the man finish, he went on, "Along with this _overlook_ , you've continuously made hasty generalizations and judgments that have lead to unjust executions or the lose of proficient taichou, such as Urahara Kisuke. Perhaps," he continued, voice full of stern mockery, "your complete lack of military service has caused your vision to be _lacking_. Of course, by no fault of your own, Grandmaster Akimoto-san."

Not letting the man get a word in inch wise, Byakuya said, "With the permission of Soutaichou Kyoraku, I already made Odelschwanck-san my san-seki. On a trial basis, of course. If it all goes well by the time Kurosaki-Fukutaichou is promoted, we can reconvene about these law changes. Do you not agree, Grandmaster Akimoto-san?"

Urahara leaned in closely to the commander. "Did he actually ask you?" he whispered.

Head dipped and smirk firmly in place, the commander gave a sharp yet almost unnoticeable sideways shake of the head.

Urahara snorted. "Looks like our rebellious little Bya-Kun is back."

"Maybe Kurosaki-san is a good influence on him too," the commander said.

Ichigo sideswiped Ishida with little furtiveness and forcibly took his place beside Urahara. "How is he getting away with this?" he whispered. "I mean, he's being formal, and he sounds respectful, but it's pretty obvious what's going on."

"This is a power play, Kurosaki-san," Urahara explained, holding his fan in front of their faces in the most conspicuous way possible. "The Kuchiki clan holds much weight in the dictations of Central, and in their own way, they influence policy change more than this group of old guys. Basically, they can make the lives of Central's members difficult if they so choose. It's a whole politics thing, but showing up with Nel-san already instated is was a huge assertion of dominance, and the way he's talking without respite, well that's a pretty common psychological move that can push someone into doing what they want with more ease." He smirked, "Mind games, Kurosaki-san, mind games."

The muttering was still in place, but it had dimmed to mere utterances, and most members of Central were looking ruffled, but none as much as the Grandmaster himself.

With a fraudulently brave face, Akimoto asked, "Do you not think, as head of the Kuchiki clan, you should be upholding the law better?

It was a subtle change, but the temperature dropped several degrees and the air became sharp to the touch. Everyone's muscles constricted and not a single sound could be heard in the space. Even Ichigo shivered.

With a composed lethality backing his every word, Byakuya asked, "Are you questioning my pride, Grandmaster Akimoto-san?"

"I-well I-"

"I would never break a law, but the law is not always perfect," he explained. "It is the duty of those who implicate these laws to evaluate them and stand against laws that need to be changed." His voice became thicker, more dangerous in it's control as he warned, "Question my pride again, and it will be only the law that protects you from my blade, but nothing will protect you from my influence."

The Grandmaster cleared his throat and shifted his eyes uncomfortably. Underneath his stand, he wiped his moistened hands against the fabric of his garment. With one more desperate attempt to prove a point, he continued with shaky voice, "What about konso? This is an imperative part of being a Shinigami, and Arrancars can not do such."

Byakuya cocked an eyebrow at that. "How do you know?" he asked matter of factly.

"Excuse me?"

"I asked, how do you know," he said, enunciating each word. "Arrancars are Hollow Shinigami hybrids, each of which have a zanpakuto like our very own. As far as we know, their weapons are capable of the same feats as a full fledged Shinigami. Furthermore, the Jūichibantai has not done a single konso since Zaraki Taichou was instated."

Akimoto gaped and looked towards the commander. "Is this true, Kyoraku Soutaichou?"

With a nod of his head, the commander said, "It is."

Byakuya let out a measured sigh. "I can not say I am surprised you do not know this, Grandmaster Akimoto-san, because, you see, this is not your Seritie, but the Gotei 13s." Surprising everyone in the room, he added, "It is Kurosaki Ichigo's, because as it stands, from my perspective, when it comes to who is better at starting wars and stopping them in this room, I would say he takes the latter. From the inception of this institution, it has never changed more than it has from the actions of this one man."

With a considerably lighter tone, he added, "However, it can be yours too. This will not be an easy change, but think of it as an opportunity, a challenge. You are not an antiquated man, Grandmaster Akimoto-san, and you have the ability to make great change within our land."

Holding up his fan once again, Urahara explained to Ichigo that this, too, was a mind game. That when putting something in terms of gain and the ability to learn a new skill, it played on a person's primordial mind, making them more apt to do what the other wanted.

Ichigo looked at the noble through heavy eyes, and his chest began to ache happily.

' _You did all this because you believe in me, and you're probably really putting yourself out with your clan. Byakuya…I won't let you down.'_

After a few short moments of deliberation, the Grandmaster said, "All those in favor of allowing Shinigami corporation with Quincy and Arrancar on a trial basis, say I." About three-fourths of the congregation gave their approval, prompting the Grandmaster to say, "Very well. This court shall allow it, and closer to Kurosaki Fukutaichou promotion, we will reconvene."

"Thank you for your time, Grandmaster," was all Byakuya said before he turned on his heels to exit the building, Nel still silently at his side.

Urahara turned to address the commander. "I guess I wasn't needed after all. Not that I mind, that was one hell of a show."

Turning an intrigued eye towards Ichigo, the commander said, "It looks like you're not the only fan."

Urahara looked towards the man too. He saw Ichigo looking on after the noble as he left. His eyes were hooded and almost dreamy, and he bit at his smirking lips.

"I think thats a look that's a little more than star stuck."

The commander grinned knowingly. "Now Kisuke-san, let's not make assumptions."

Urahara returned the grin in spades. "Just an observation, purely scientific."

With a shake of the head, the commander chuckled. "That would be something, wouldn't it? Those two."

"Crazier things have happened."

Though not listening to the two elders ramblings, Ishida looked at Ichigo with a similar thought. That look, it vaguely reminded him of how he looked at Orihime from time to time.

Ichigo was pulled from his reverie by another dull pang in his chest, and he clutched at the fabric that covered it. Feeling a pat on his back, he looked up to see Urahara and the other two men. As they began to walk forward, Urahara asked, "Everything alright, Kurosaki-san?"

"Uh, yeah," Ichigo said, rubbing at his chest with fretted brow. "My chest has just been feeling weird lately, that's all."

The two elders exchanged witting glares. "Maybe it's just acid reflux," Urahara mused, "or something else."

Ichigo was about the question his vagueness, only he was attacked by the green haired Arrancar no sooner than his foot hit the concrete of the Seritie.

"Ichi-go~" she sang, crushing the man with her amble chest.

Ichigo's cheeks flushed brightly at the crushing weight of the woman's breast against his throat.

"N-nel!" he stammered, unlatching himself as quickly as possible. "It's good to see you. I thought it was weird how quiet you were in there."

"That's because Kuchiki Taichou told me that If I wanted to be in the same squad as you, I'd need to behave. He told me I did good! And look," she said, holding up a Wakame Ambassador bake good, "He gave me a cookie!" She promptly bit down on it, and Ichigo couldn't help but to chuckle. "This is delicious! Oh, he's beautiful, and he can cook. I like him, Ichigo." Suddenly, her disposition reverted back to something resembling mature, as it usually stayed in her adult form. "I must head to the division now. I promise I'll be the best san-seki I can, Ichigo Fukutaichou."

"Uh- you can just call me Ichigo, Nel. I'll see you later, okay?"

With a nod of the head, she flashed away, and Urahara said, "Ah, I think that device I made to keep her in an adult form was my best creation yet."

"You damn henti," Ichigo growled.

"Whatever do you mean, Kurosaki-san?" Urahara asked as he feigned innocent.

"Don't think I don't know you did it because of her, well- her-" he colored even more, " _assets_."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"It's just weird, for Kami sakes. She use to ride me."

Urahara's lewd grin stretched. "Interesting choice of words, Kurosaki-san."

At that, Ichigo's face resembled a strawberry, and he stammered, "I-I m-meant my shoulders! She use to ride on my shoulders when she was small!"

The two elders laughed heartily, and the commander tipped his hat at the flushing teen. "We've messed with you enough for one day." With his back turned to Ichigo and his feet moving forward, he said, "Why don't you go back to the Kuchiki mansion and give Kuchiki-Taichou a big kiss of gratitude on us, eh?"

"WHAT!?"

"Nothing~" Urahara singsonged, and before the two flashed away, he said, "You did good today, Kurosaki-san."

With a scowl, Ichigo asked himself, "What the hell is wrong with those guys?"

After some quick parting words with Ishida, Ichigo made his way back to the mansion in a flurry of shunpo.

…

 **Up Next: Training, test tube heirs, and celebrations.**

 **xXx**

 **Secret Companion: Hm, I'm excited to write Ichigo's reaction myself. I do not think he'll be very happy! ;) Thanks for the review, doll.**

 **Ichkak: Hey love! Thank's for reading. I love to hear when new people get into this story. This is for sure a really slow, touchy feely relationship, and I hope you enjoy every moment of it. Hmmm, perhaps I can't give you a mpreg, but you never know what I have in store for these two. ;)**

 **Tifanny91: That's so cool! I heard Japanese is actually a really hard language to learn, so good on you. I myself would love to learn some French. I pretty much hate the American education system, for a number of reasons, but one of those is that, unlike other countries, we don't grow up being taught two languages. Actually, we learn in psychology that its rather easy for children to learn different languages, but after a certain point in our brains development, it becomes really difficult to retain. Who knows, maybe one day I learn! I enjoy writing this story because the more I do, the more I realize they have in common. I actually didn't connect the dots that both Ichigo and Byakuya had died in extremely violent ways and had to be brought back(You'd be surprised how much I don't know until I start writing a chapter. That's why I love writing, because in a way, it writes itself.) So I was really happy about that connection, and I'm glade you enjoyed the way they help each other through it. You'd be right, it's still going to be a very bumpy ride before these two really get a grip on what their feeling, but I hope I can make it worth your wait. As aways, with love, Ashes. :)**

 **Dust-of-moon: Hey dear! So I'll try to clear up the soul lock thing. Basically, as Senbonzakura said, it's not inherently romantic, but it lends itself to romance. Meaning you can soul lock with a friend or family, it doesn't have to be someone you're going to fall in love with, nor does it have to be forever like a soul mate bond implies. Though they do tend to lead to romance. I could understand your review fine. Actually, I know in French you give everything a gender pronoun, correct? You called the sentence a "she", and I was confused at first, but when I finally got it, I thought it was adorable. lol Anyway, I characterize Senbonzakura based on his character off the anime only arcs, and he's a total lush, pouty, destructive romantic, and I love it. :) Theres a scene where he get's drunk and he starts asking "Wheres the love at."**

 **Siwon611: Hey there! I can't wait either. lol. Seriously, I'm impatient and it's my story. It'll be a while before they get there, but I hope you enjoy what I have planed. Chow Bella ~**

 **LustfulAvarices: Let me tell you, love, my first story on here leaves much to be desired. Actually, I feel the way you do too. I think everyone does. We see people who we think do better than us, and it makes us feel like it's not even worth it, but If I didn't ever get over that, I wouldn't be writing these stories now. So I hope you do write one day, because no matter what, there will be someone who wants/needs your story, and you'll make them just a little bit happier by writing it! If you ever want any advice, you can always talk to me. I'm truly a novice, but I'll help in anyway I can.**

 **Engkantada1905: Ah, I live to make fan girls squeal. hehe. Please don't hate me If I make you wait it out for their lovey dovey side to revel itself! I promise it'll be worth every minuet!**

 **Beautiful-Liar13: Thank you for your comment and support! :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	11. Chapter 11

Oh wow, it's been over a month since I've posted! I guess that really isn't too long, but for this story, it kind've is. Anyway, this chapter was never apart of the original plan, but it became essential to set up some plot points. It kind've became bigger than I ever wanted it to be, but oh well. Enjoy, and let me know if you have any questions.

 **Song: Ben Harper's, "My Own Two Hands"**

Good vibes ~ Ashes

 **Bolder than the Darkness**

 **xXx**

" **I can change the world, with my own two hands**

 **and make it a better place, oh, with my own two hands."**

"You wanna find Ginjō and Tsukishima?" Urahara asked as he looked up from a big, flashing screen and scratched curiously at his patchy chin hairs.

"Yeah, Is there something wrong with that?" Ichigo asked.

"There's nothing wrong with it," Urahara said as he turned his attention back to the screen. "Not to point out the obvious, but you did kill Ginjō."

Ichigo's scowl softened into a frown, and he shifted his eyes downwards, almost shamefully. "You don't have to remind me of that. I did what I had to do."

Urahara turned around and put on a sad smile that looked wrong on him. "I didn't mean anything by it, Kurosaki-san." He nudged his head towards the opposite end of the laboratory. "Walk with me."

Ichigo followed, and Urahara hummed lightly as they navigated past a few shuffling division members. "What I meant was, why would they want to help you? More importantly, why would they want to help the Shinigamis, let alone become one when they hate us?"

"That's exactly why," Ichigo said. "Things are changing, and they have a chance to change some of the ways they hate so much."

"I get your logic. That doesn't mean they will, but you have always been one for challenges." They stopped in front of a metal door, and Urahara placed his palm face down in the center. A green outline pulsed around his hand before a beeping sound signaled from seemingly nowhere, causing the door to slide open like a shaft.

When they entered, Ichigo faltered at the sight.

Rows upon rows of transparent tanks lined the room, each standing as tall as Ichigo. Every tank was filled with a plasma type substance, and each took on an unique color. Some were red. Some were blue. All the colors of the rainbow and every hue in between was present.

"What the..." Ichigo said, coming to a dead halt at the spectacle laid out before him.

Urahara walked over to a control panel in the center of the room and tinkered with some buttons, pulled some levers, and did some other scientific stuff that Ichigo didn't understand. Ichigo was about to ask him what he was looking at, but then he wondered if he even wanted to know.

"I'll use the reiatsu signatures we have for them to see if I can pinpoint their exact location. It may take a few days though," Urahara said as if they were having this conversation over tea and not in the middle of, what looked like, the headquarters of some bizarre, extraterrestrial operation.

Ichigo shivered to think what went on inside Urahara's mind.

"What is he doing here?" Mayuri asked, pointing at Ichigo as he stormed into the lab. "What part of secret do you not grasp?"

Urahara grinned at the stemmed scientist. "Oh, come on, Kurotsuchi Taichou, in four months time, it won't be a secret anymore."

Ichigo walked over to one of the tanks and tilted his head in observation. The glowing substance bubbled, and Ichigo tapped on the glass like a curious child might do with a fish tank. "Why is it so secretive? What is this goo?"

He went to thud the tank again, only to have his wrist captured by the skeletal grasp of Mayuri.

"Do not put your dirty hands on my work!" he said, and Ichigo jerked his hand away, fearing he might be poisoned from just the skin to skin contact. "And that _goo_ is the next generation of the Gotei Thirteen."

"What?" Ichigo looked back and forth between the tank and Mayuri several times. "I don't understand."

"And I'm sure this is a common experience for you," Mayuri said, waving his hand in a contemptuous manner.

Ichigo turned his back to the man. "What the hell is he talking about?"

"Well, the simplest way I can put it is to say that they're clones."

By this point, with everything he'd seen, Ichigo didn't even know why he was surprised. "Clones?" He ran his wide eyed gaze over the lab. "How?"

Urahara rose a pointer finger enthusiastically. "Ah, all you must do is transplant the nucleus of a somatic cell into these artificial ovum, synthesize the samples in some hyperactive solution, wait four months, and presto," he said as he bounced on his heels, "you have the equivalent of a newborn Shinigami."

Ichigo's jaw went slack, and he felt like someone was jamming an ice pick right between his eyes. "Can you say that in a way a normal person will understand?"

Fanning himself, Urahara gave Ichigo an expectant smirk. "We'll take the DNA from two different donors and put it in an artificial womb." He knocked on one of the tanks twice. "Which is what these bad boys are. The rest is just semantics, really. It's pretty simple science."

"More like science fiction," Ichigo said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Of course, you would think that," Mayuri said as a division member handed him a cup of tea. "The World of the Living is completely inferior, especially in regards to scientific advancement. Cloning is child's play." He took a testing sip from his cup before gagging and chucking it back at his subordinate. "Uhk, you fool. This is all wrong. If you can not brew a simple cup of tea, than I dread to think what might occur if I let you around our experiments."

As the division member scampered off, Ichigo rolled his eyes before looking thoughtfully into the red plasma of a tank. "I guess, out of everything I've seen, this ranks pretty low on the weird scale, but if they're clones, who are they clones of?"

"Thats where the secret part comes in." When Ichigo gave him a prompting look, Urahara explained, "Let's just say there's a question of ethics involved, understandably so. After the Winter War, Central and The Grand Noble Council wanted to protect their assets."

"You mean the Shinigami?" Ichigo asked.

"Exactly, only not just any Shinigami, the most powerful ones. The ones from the noble clans. So they set up this operation in the case of another war that could cause mass causality. An operation where the participants weren't aware of their involvement and never will be."

Ichigo fretted his brow. "I still don't understand who though."

Urahara tipped his head down until the shadowy brim of his hat obscured most of his face. "Each of these tanks are filled with the genetic material of two different Shinigami, powerful Shinigami who fell in the war."

"What?!" Ichigo said, his voice amplified as it reverberated against the glass. "You're saying these are the children of dead Shinigami?"

"We prefer the term subjects," Mayuri said.

"They'll walk, talk, and act like any other kid, so they're not just some science experiment. Who'll raise them?"

"Oh stop being so sentimental."

"He has a point," Urahara said as he placed a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "You see, during the initial attacks, we lost so many. After awhile, it became an everybody for themselves ordeal. That's why most of the surviving members are the unseated officers. When they saw the taichou getting bested, a lot of them played it smart and hid. Our biggest hit were the more powerful, high ranking Shinigami, because they at least put up a fight."

"And how does that make it right?" Ichigo asked.

"Power is passed through lineage, and with only the weakest of Shinigamis left to reproduce, it might've taken centuries upon centuries for the Seireitei to regain the strength it once had, not to mention a lot of selective breeding and a lot of luck. So w-"

"So they were worried our weakness would leave us vulnerable. I get it. I don't like the idea of all these kids having no parents, but I get it."

With all the easy going temperament that defined him, Urahara shrugged and laughed a bit. "These kids will belong to noble houses. They'll have everything they could ever want."

Looking aimlessly into the congealed substance, memories of a life without his mom left Ichigo momentarily dazed. "Money isn't everything," he said after a while. "Anyway, as fun as this has been, I got to go get ready for the festival tonight."

Urahara perked an amused brow. "You're going?"

"Byakuya says I need to go suck up to some old guys if I want the elder's support with passing these new laws, so I'm going with him."

"He's right, you know? I would listen to him."

"I'm going, aren't I?"

Urahara popped open his fan to hide a telling grin. "And with the head of the most infamous clan on your arm no less."

"Yeah," Ichigo said, "I'm lucky to have him. I mean, I'm lucky to have his support." A pause. "Anyway, I'll see you around Geta-Bōshi."

 **xXx**

Byakuya calmed his breathing and opened his senses. Then he waited, patient and porous to all around him. He disappeared into his surroundings until they became one in the same. His breathing so faint and his extremists so light, that he became only a vessel for what he perceived. Even his heartbeat was lost to the wind and the rustling of leaves.

' _Left.'_

Byakuya extended his arms, blocking a barrage of forward thrusting palms and side swiping kicks.

Watch any good predator, and you'll see the same tactics again and again. It's a rudimentary yet an arduous skill, because it took the ability to both dissociate from oneself and be completely open to the world around you. Although you are hunting, one must maroon all ego and stalk both their enemy and the elements with the intimacy of a lover. One must first realize that they know nothing, and only then can they understand anything.

Byakuya countered attacked, yet he did not move against the space, but with it. He trusted it's leadership in this dance of theirs.

Before, with his eyesight, Byakuya saw so little. He arrogantly overestimated the wealth of surface qualities, but once he gave everything to the darkness, earned it's trust through these labour of love, it divulged all it's secrets to Byakuya

Uchi and Byakuya continued with their bout, learning of the others heart by the way they moved around the air. Byakuya could now predict an opponent's next five strikes as if he knew them better than they knew themselves. It was because he now looked so closely. He looked with everything, and for a man who so often chose to turn his back on the people around him, there was something oddly personal in that.

With a slide to the right, Byakuya moved behind Uchi and kicked his legs right from under him, sending the man to the ground with a thud.

"Ah, I see you excel at using your hands, Lord Kuchiki."

"And I see you are as inappropriate as ever."

Uchi chuckled as he kick jumped to his feet. "Do not be so prude, Lord Kuchiki. You know what they say, everything is funnier in the dark."

Bypassing Uchi's flirtatious banter, Byakuya said, "It is very well that I am proficient in hand to hand combat, but that does little to help me when yielding my zanpakuto."

"This is true. While your senses have began to meet new heights, they have a scope, a scope that your long distance weaponry will always supersede."

Uchi sat down in the grass, wiggling his finger through the blades. "Riddle me this: If a blind man is shooting an arrow at a moving target, how does he hit it?"

"If I knew that, you would not be here."

"You are not ready for the answer quite yet."

Byakuya could practically hear Uchi's face twitch in amusement. "Then why do you ask? Do you enjoy wasting my time?" Byakuya said, letting out a soft, agitated sigh.

Uchi hummed impishly. "I enjoy riling you up. There is a difference. Now, there is one more step to your training before we can answer this question." A pause. "Do you understand just how powerful of a thing reiryoku is, Lord Kuchiki?"

The question made Byakuya tilt his head at it's obviousness. "Of course, it is what drives a Shinigami's powers."

"This is a short sighted answer. However, it makes sense. The light bulb was not invented because of frivolous curiosity but out of a desire to escape darkness."

"Must you always speak in circles?"

"Must you always be so impatient? I do have a point."

Byakuya allowed his silence to speak for his curiosity.

"Most Shinigamis do not use their reiatsu and reiryoku to it's fullest potential, nor are they even aware that they're not, because they do not have to. Think of your reiatsu as an extra pair of senses. If you can control the way you exert your reiatsu and allow it to mold around another person, seep into them, you can feel their essence, smell it, even taste it. Reiatsu, in a sense, is almost like a tangible energy."

"I suppose that makes sense. Reiatsu often takes on a color, and when large amounts are given off, you can feel it, but why is this necessary for my training?"

"They're two reasons. Firstly, this is a prelude to your last lesson. Secondly, when a large amount of reiatsu is given off, it is like being rushed by a thousand different sounds, but when you allow your reiatsu to feel around inside another's, slowly delving into each of their parts one by one, you can discover the part of them that houses their powers."

"How?"

"All zanpakuto fall under a type, and each type has a specific feel too it. If you can master this, you will be able to know the exact nature of an opponent's power before they even draw their weapon."

The prospect sounded interesting enough. New ways to advance his skills were always intriguing. "Alright."

"It is a rather intimate pursuit, however, intertwining your reiatsu with anothers. You will have to practice this by exploring the properties of reiatsu belonging to people of which you already know their powers," Uchi explained. "This way, you will get an understanding of what that specific type of power feels like, and you'll be able to recognize it in others."

"If it will get me closer to my goals, then I will do whatever it takes."

Uchi perked an eyebrow. "Considering you are not a man who leaves his dwelling often or interacts socially with many, I believe this will be the most difficult part of your training."

"I have little reason to leave these days."

"Then the festival this evening will be the perfect venue for some practice."

When Byakuya made a noncommittal noise, Uchi asked, "You do not want to go, do you?"

Byakuya rolled a shoulder. "It is simply an obligation. I feel little towards it."

Uchi chuckled knowingly. "Do you know what they say about you in the upper districts?" He asked offhandedly. "You are the Prince of Silence, your beauty is as infamous as your blade." Uchi's tongue did a slow crawl over his lips. "I, too, find you quite tantalizing. Your reiatsu smells of sakura, but it taste like expensive whiskey and sweet cream, dulcet and burning."

Byakuya blushed a bit, feeling both flustered and vexed by Uchi's brashness.

"But it is your essence that truly drives me wild, Lord Kuchiki." His voice was gritty as he craned his head back. "It is rawness collided with a deathly control. You, my darling little protege, are the lull before the storm."

"Do not insult me, Uchi-san," Byakuya said with a huff. "I am both the lull and the storm."

A toothy grin pulled at Uchi's mouth as he stood back up. "If you were not my student, I may have made you fall in love with me."

Even if Uchi couldn't see it, Byakuya resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Do you have a point to these ramblings?"

"I always do," Uchi said as he walked over to the noble and stopped right in front of him. "You see, for blind men like us, attraction is not based on something as vacuous as appearances, but the measure of one's soul." Uchi circled the man like a ravenous shark eyeing a morsel of food. "We learn early on to look at people with everything we have, and as a result, we often see more. Through our lessons, I have came to see right through you." He stop directly behind the noble, and Byakuya could feel his tepid breath prickling against moist skin. "There is little you can get past me, Lord Kuchiki."

Byakuya stood unflinching, but he found himself feeling naked in the way he did with his new style of fighting. It was okay to be exposed to his surroundings, to let them rush through him and guide his steps, but being transparent to others was on a whole different stratosphere, one beyond his levels of comfort.

"Is it your blindness that makes you apprehensive? Are you afraid of the judgment of others?"

"If you think I care so heavily about what others think of me, than I would say you do not know me as well as you think you do."

"Ah, but that is it, isn't it? You reject those around your before they can reject you."

Byakuya gritted his teeth. "Rather you're right in your assessment or not, my personal ongoings surpass the perimeters of our arrangement."

Backing off from the noble, Uchi smiled and said, "Trust that I only aspire to help you, however unorthodox my methods may seem. It is not only your powers that lay stagnant, Lord Kuchiki." Before Byakuya could respond, Uchi said, "But that is a lesson for a different day."

 **xXx**

Ichigo stood scowling down at a yutaka that had been laid out for him on the platform - risen futon in his guest room. It wasn't the garment itself that bothered him. It was plenty nice, or more so, it was probably too nice for Ichigo's, at times, disruptive tendencies. Even though Ichigo usually wore a plain shihakusho at all times whilst in Soul Society, it wasn't as if he had a choice. Ichigo's usual style consisted of clothes a bit more snug and a bit more modern, but seeing as he really didn't need another reason to stand out, he figured it was probably in his best interest to get with the whole feudal setup.

Actually, since most members of the Gotei had relinquished their pay for the next couple of months to aid their depleted homeland in the beginning hurdles of restoration, Ichigo had been living off the good graces of the Kuchiki Lord, clothing notwithstanding. At times, Ichigo felt guilty about such an extensive hospitality. It wasn't like him to bum off of others since he didn't enjoy the feeling of owning people anything, and even though he knew such gestures were of little significance to Byakuya - considering his exuberant wealth, he felt less than worthy of such treatment. He hadn't really done anything for Byakuya, unless you counted becoming his fukutaichou, which Ichigo did not. Although, they were friends after all, and friends naturally did what they could to help each other. Ichigo only wished he could return that helpfulness in some regard, but Byakuya Kuchiki wasn't a man who needed for much, nothing material anyway.

As Ichigo dressed, he thought about how some of the noble's gestures went beyond the parameters of affability. Byakuya, the man of few words he was, did not often show care through articulated speech, but through discrete actions, and when Byakuya started doing little, barely noticeable things for Ichigo, like asking Fujita to sew pockets in all of his uniforms or making sure there was a dish of Ichigo's favorite fruit, sliced peaches, provided during every breakfast, that care became evident.

In true Byakuya Kuchiki fashion, he subtly and silently displayed his fondness, or perhaps his gratitude, in the most reserved way possible. So much so, Ichigo wondered if the noble even understood what he was doing. Nonetheless, it was both refreshing and earnest, and Ichigo couldn't help but to be charmed by these nuances.

Most everyone these days was full of hot air, going on about his "heroic actions", and though he understood and even appreciated their gratefulness, half of the time it seemed given so shallowly. People would rewrite his story, glamorize him as this hero that he wasn't, but forget that every hero had a tragedy. They'd idealize him, put him on a pedestal and pluck him of all his flaws until he was nothing more than an unblemished savior to be ogled at. Ichigo didn't want anyone's sympathy, and he certainly didn't want their pity, but once a man who had always been expected to fail, now he was watched by the masses, always expected to succeed their expectations. Being that he hated letting others down, most of his encounters had became dauntingly contrived, and sometimes it took every bit of him to not let that facade shatter.

However, much like Byakuya's friendship, his appreciation was unobtrusive and indistinct while also being blatant in the meaning of it's existence. His acts of thoughtfulness did not invite nor attempt to gain attention, but they said more, and they said it louder, than all the incessant gushing ever could. They said that Byakuya listened to him and his arbitrary ramblings, even his meaningless complaints about a lack of pockets. They said that Byakuya, without a need for acknowledgment, wanted to extend his care just because he could. They said he was recognized. They said he was not alone.

Standing in front of a full length mirror, Ichigo inspected his ensemble, and admittedly, he liked it more than he thought he would. It was brown with wisps of red and gold tactile, and it somehow managed to be elegantly restrained, modest without being too subdued. It reminded Ichigo of Byakuya in that way. It was also tighter than most yutaka, making Ichigo wonder if this was also the noble's aesthetic touch at play.

As he tried to recall mentioning his penchant towards tighter clothing to Byakuya, a knock interrupted his thoughts. "Come in," he said.

In the reflection of the mirror, he saw Byakuya slide open the door and stand in the arch way. Ichigo allowed himself a moment to inspect the noble's form. Although Byakuya always dressed traditionally, his garments looked more high fashion than the drab yutaka most men would wear. With their asymmetrical hemlines and draping, they looked more like those modernized yutaka you'd see on runways. This one imparticular was olive with coal borderings, and Ichigo thought that he liked those colors on him. They brought out his eyes in the times that they stayed solely gray.

Ichigo gave the noble's reflection a small smile. "Yo, Byakuya, I thought I'd be ready way before you." At the noble's face stiffening in a way Ichigo could easily interpret, he said, "Calm down, I didn't mean because you're blind." Ichigo snorted as he attempted, unsuccessfully so, to tame his unruly hair. "I figured a _noble lord_ would take hours to get ready for a festival."

Byakuya arched an eyebrow and rolled a shoulder smoothly. "When one has such a natural grace as I, it takes little effort to prepare for an evening."

At the clenched lips tugging with a need and the dash of gold dusting his eyes, a grin lit up Ichigo's face. "Smug bastard," he said as he shook his head in amused ridicule. Once he gave up on his hair, he took a moment to regard himself in the mirror. The harsh gaze was drawn passed himself as his thoughts wavered, and there was a silence that lasted a bit too long.

"Are you anxious about this evening?" Byakuya asked as he inclined his head slightly.

Ichigo smiled sheepishly. "Is it that obvious?"

"Sometimes silences speak as loudly as words," Byakuya said as he took a cane guided step forward. "You're reiatsu is also quite the indicator."

Ichigo scowled and dropped his shoulders marginally. "What's to be anxious about? I only have to convince everyone to not hate the people who killed all their friends and family."

"You are simply dipping your feet in the water, mingling so you can present yourself as our new ambassador and create rapport. There is nothing too severe expected from you tonight."

"Yeah, I know," Ichigo said as he ran a hand over his exasperated features. "I think you were right, deciding to do this wasn't in my normal character. I'm over all the attention as is, and now I have to go talk with all these people and try to pretend I'm charming or something."

"People are naturally drawn towards you, Kurosaki Ichigo. I believe, just by being yourself, others will follow your lead." He tilted his head in contemplation. "Furthermore, it is not wholly out of the realm of your personality. You are a protector even if doing so means stepping outside the zone of your comfort."

Ichigo turned around and abolished the space between them as he came to stand in front of Byakuya. "Be my self, huh?" He smirked and crossed his arms. "So when someone annoys me, I can just tell them to get lost?"

Byakuya's lips vibrated humorously. "Perhaps do not be completely yourself. That scowl is formidable." Ichigo gave a throaty chuckle, and Byakuya said, "Besides, I will be there also, and I am quite proficient at saving face around those whom test my patience."

"Well, at least I won't be miserable alone," Ichigo said as he ghosted his fingers over his side to find nothing there. "Should I bring Zangetsu?"

"Do you plan on fighting?"

"Depends on if someone annoys me and how bad," Ichigo muttered.

Byakuya sent him a reproving glare. "You will do no such thing in a garment that nice."

Ichigo plucked at the fabric and looked down at it with apathetic eyes. "Yeah, I guess it is pretty nice. I'm just not use to wearing this stuff all the time." Ichigo snorted as he stepped towards the door and out into the hallway. "Maybe with all the new changes going on, we can get you guys past the feudal Japan era while we're at it."

"I would say impossible," Byakuya said as he fell in line beside Ichigo, "but I believe I am proven wrong every time I have used those words in regards to you."

When Ichigo let out a sputtering laugh, Byakuya asked, "What is so amusing?"

"The thought of you in human clothes. Now that's something I'd like to see." Ichigo smirked. "Then the Shinigami Women's Association really would never leave you be."

Byakuya almost paled at the hypothetical as they kept with their steady, patient pace. "Do not remind me of those woman and their antics. As is, I will likely be maneuvering around their cameras this evening." Ichigo grinned at the idea of an enduringly prideful Byakuya sneaking his way through the darkness from a hoard of female admirers. "I will never understand their obsession."

"It's no mystery, Byakuya. Girls like the prince charming types."

Byakuya perked an eyebrow at the notion. It humored him somewhat that Ichigo could deduct this, but the young man was much too innocent to grasp his own attractiveness towards the opposite sex and perhaps even the same.

Instead of verbalizing this, he just said, "I am not a prince, but a noble lord, and I'd hardly be considered charming by most standards."

"Tell that to your legions of fans."

Byakuya smoothly fanned his free hand. "You can not reason with the madness of those woman."

"Your sister is one of those mad woman, ya' know?" Ichigo pointed out.

"Yes, well, no one is perfect," Byakuya said, and Ichigo laughed in response.

His thoughts lingered for a while as they walked with a lighthearted silence stretching between them. It felt warm and easy, but that was until he recalled another Kuchiki that had been weighing heavily on his mind.

"Speaking of Rukia, is she going to be there?"

"I am not sure. She has been rather preoccupied with her duties of late."

Ichigo nodded solemnly, and his eyes shifted in trepidation.

"Have you two not spoken since your altercation?" Byakuya asked as they arrived at a descending pathway that lead to the Kuchiki estate's gated entrance.

Ichigo sighed and raked a hand through his hair, ruining any effort he had exerted to contain the locks. "No. I've tried a lot, but there's always something. I know she's busy, but I'm starting to think that she's avoiding me."

"Rukia would do no such thing," Byakuya said definitively. "She will come to you when she is ready."

"I guess."

A feathery hand weighing down on his forearm stopped Ichigo's path, and he looked down to see Byakuya's fingers laced around him in a gentle act of support. He looked back up to fiery eyes that burned in starch opposition to the night, and his heart picked up it's pacing a bit.

"You two are bonded tightly, so no matter what has transpired between you, nothing can simply break such a connection. Have faith in this bond. She will speak to you when she is ready."

Ichigo's scowl lifted into a light smile, and he said, "Yeah. You're probably right, Byakuya."

The pair continued towards the festival, which was being held in the courtyards with the least amount of wreckage near the fourth and fifth division. The streets were lined by hanging lights and teeming with bright faced celebrators donned in festive yutaka. An aroma of Yakisoba and freshly sprouted flower blossoms were mixed and carried by passage of soft spring winds. Around them, laughter and frivolous chatter filled the atmosphere as if erupting from the thwarting holds of darkness, and victory songs they had been much too bone and soul weary to create after the war were finally given life. As Ichigo looked on, he thought this was good. This normalcy, it was healing. Even it felt all too reasonable in the face of the insanity they all endured, it was what people needed.

The evening was less painful than Ichigo built it up to be. Although, he credited much of that to Byakuya's presence and the constant flow of calming energy he'd exuded. Between the enthusiastic hoards of Shinigami and the loftily spoken aristocrates, Ichigo's endeavor into cordial conversation took it's toll, and considering he didn't know what to say a majority of the time, he let the questions come to him and answered them with all the interest he could muster.

It was obvious Byakuya was better at the all whole song and dance than Ichigo ever thought he could be, but maybe Byakuya was right. It was the things that made him different that would make people listen to him and heed his actions.

"A fine warrior and a diplomate?" said a blue haired noble, belonging to a house Ichigo had already forgotten. According to Byakuya, he was someone important. He perked a brow in intrigue as he said, "Perhaps Kurosaki-san will one day help the Shiba clan return to it's former glory."

"Uhh, act-"

"Yes, the future is quite full of possibilities," Byakuya interrupted, causing Ichigo to look at him dubiously. "Now if you'll excuse us, Head Elder Shihoin Michiko," he said with a parting bow.

"Yes, of course. As always, it was nice speaking to you, Lord Kuchiki." He nodded in the direction of Ichigo. "Kurosaki Ichigo, I look forward to seeing great things from you."

Ichigo resisted the urge to scowl and simply nodded back. As him and Byakuya began to stroll the block, Ichigo said, "Hate to break it to you, Byakuya, but I am not restoring the Shiba clan or whatever that guy was talking about. Unlike you, I don't like to unduly bury myself under duty."

Byakuya's eyes slid impassively to where Ichigo stood beside him. "Trust that I am aware you will not do something unless it is what you want to do."

"Then why did you lie to that guy?"

"I did no such thing," Byakuya said as he preened the fabric of his garment in a haughty manner. "I simply allowed him to make his own assumptions."

"That just sounds like a really sly way of lying," Ichigo said, smirking ever so slightly.

"It is a necessary evil in maintaining this position and achieve anything. In the coming months, it will be important for you to obtain the good graces of as many seated elders as possible. Their support will be paramount to your cause."

"I know. I just hate having to play mind games with these guys. Being straightforward about what I'm trying to accomplish should be enough." With a grimace, he muttered, "If they had fought in the war, maybe they'd see that."

"You are right, it should be," Byakuya said, dipping his head. "However, this is politics, so there will always be facades and loaded speech you will have to maneuver around." A pause. "Although I know you to be authentic for the most part, it is not as if you have no experience in wearing a mask, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Byakuya took the silence as prompting to elaborate. "I was one of your guardians while you were without your powers. You smiled much in the face of your friends and family, but I do not think I once saw you happy throughout the duration of my post." When Byakuya's soberly delivered observation was met by more silence, he concluded, "I only bring this up because this situation is not much different. Wearing a mask is a means to an end for your desire to protect in both instances. It is that simple."

Ichigo blinked thoughtfully at the ground, watching the gliding motion of his feet with furrowed brow. "I didn't think of it like that. It actually does make it all a little easier put into those terms."

When Ichigo looked up to Byakuya, he noted how all the twinkling lights and children fisted sparklers filtered over the shadow blurred edges of the noble's face and gave vigil to a stunning yellow that looked much like the sparklers themselves. His words suddenly became shuffled, and his tongue tied helplessly. Something about the sight of Byakuya's highlighted features sent his thoughts adrift, but before he could gather them, the fluctuation of a familiar pressure broke through his stupor.

"Go. Without shunpo, I will only slow you down," Byakuya said without the need for prompting

"Byak-"

"She is close by, so I will not be long. Go, Kurosaki Ichigo," he said, using a taciturn tone that dismissed any argument to the contrary.

Ichigo spared one more wary look before he flashed away. It wasn't long before he arrived at a crowd of people encircling the pressure he was searching for. It looked similar to the crowds that would gather during school yard brawls, only it was typically Ichigo in the middle of those. He pushed his way through the flock, flexing his pressure a bit to make some room for himself. As he drew closer to the center, he could see Nel over the bobbing heads holding off a barrage of attacks being sent her way by a number of seated officers. Without much effort, she only defended herself, and the Shinigami's in question looked agitated by her lack of advance.

"Stop toying with us, Arrancar!" one of the men said, throttling the hilt of his sword with both hands.

"I believe it is you who is toying with me," she spat, turning to block an aerial attack.

"What officer did you slay and take that uniform from?" Another officer asked as he swung at the woman, his attempt evaded as easily as the others.

"You are mistaken," Nel said, her composure unshaken with a hand steadily attached to her hilt. "I am the San-seki of the Rokuban-tai. My associate and I were given asylum because of our assistance in the war, and we have both been placed into divisions."

An uncertainty stilled everyone's movements, and as they all looked around at each other, gauging their comrades reactions with floaty eyes, the grasp on each individual hilt reflexively slacked.

However, a wiry man with slicked back raven hair and shaved sides - a seated officer, and the one Nel made out as the ringleader of this makeshift mob - was not placated. "Who would allow monsters like you into the Gotei Thirteen?!"

"Kurosaki Fukutaichou," she said without hesitation. "He's taken it upon himself to act as the ambassadors of our lands, and is trying to broker peace between the Quincy's and the Shinigami." Wafting her gaze around the group of rattled officers, she said, "Now I see why he is so compelled, and I thought hollows were uncivilized."

"Watch your mouth!" the officer shouted, taking a step towards the woman. "The savior of our worlds? The man who killed the Quincy King is trying to make peace with the Quincys? Nonsense."

"Actually," spoke another, "I believe I heard some rumors about this, Kato-san."

At the man's eyes widening and feet trembling, Nel let out a tiny sigh. "How can he think of making peace with them? We want their blood, not their camaraderie." There were a few muffled agreements coming from the surrounding group, making the officer bolster with confidence. He pointed the tip of his sword towards the woman. "And we don't want you here."

"You are thinking with your hate and hurt emotions, whereas Kurosaki Fukutaichou is thinking with sense and compassion."

"Compassion?" the man echoed, his voice almost breathless from the stifling constriction of his clenched teeth. "Like the compassion they showed us when they wiped out two thirds of our soldiers!"

Nel sheathed her sword and took up a less defensive stance with hopes of mitigation in mind. "Twenty six Quincy's descended with their king to reign down terror on your land. They're hundreds of civilians who had nothing to do with the war. In fact, it was the combined efforts of Ichigo and the current Quincy King that killed Bach."

All but foaming at the mouth, the officer lifted his sword and swung at her in rapid cessation. Nimbly, she wielded Gamuza and blocked each shot until the man stumbled back. He placed the tip of his sword in the ground and leaned into it, heaving and sweating.

Looking down at the man, she asked, "Are you done?"

The man looked up with glazed eyes before he smirked and spat at her feet. "We'll never accept Hollows here. I'll never be done until you're gone."

"Hollows?" she asked. "Like the Shinigami - Hollow hybrids you had as taichou up until the events of the war?"

"That's different! They were Shinigamis who Aizen tinkered with, but you, you're kind are dangerously advanced Hollows who only got their power by being savage predators." He scoffed and spat at the woman's feet once more for good measure. "I wonder how many you've killed to evolve to such a state?"

Nel didn't flinch at accusation. Instead, she said, "I will not apologize for surviving. It is what I do with that survival that matters."

The officer straighten up and stepped back to run an appraising glare up and down the woman's form. A harrowing chuckle rumbled from his lips, and it sounded like the embodiment of malice. She looked around to see about half a dozen swords drawn towards her. "Man, Kuchiki Taichou must really be desperate. Without his sight, everyone knows he's the weakest taichou. Hell, his own fukutaichou and san-seki are stronger than him! To let a freak like you in his division, he must be _terrified_ of feeling weak." He chuckled some more as he held his arms out, and his body swayed a bit. "Hey, it makes sense. It's no secret that, without his powers, he's just a glacier that's easy on the eyes. All the woman gawk at him from a distance, but no one wants to be near him." He winked at the woman and said, "You know what they say, if you're not strong, surround yourself with strong people. Go ahead, sweetheart, show us that strength."

The air around Nel grew thicker, and her composure was frighteningly deep seated as she twitched not even an inch. Although, there was a darkness in her eyes and a decisiveness in her stance that made everyone take a step back. "You have insulted a man who has earned my respect, who has given me a place in his ranks when no other would." Horizontally, she held her sword in front of her torso. "For that, you truly are a fool."

Her release command sat on the edges of her mouth, and her zanpakuto hummed in anticipation, just waiting for those words to be uttered, but as Ichigo came barreling through the crowd of people, it never happened.

"Nel!" he shouted as he ran towards the girl. "Don't! You're doing just what he wants," Ichigo said, cutting his sharpened eyes at the man and then back to Nel. "You can't release something like that within Seireitei walls, especially against another person. It against the law."

Nel's eyes widened, and she quickly took to sheathing her weapon. "And if I did that, I would have ruined all of what you were attempting to do. I'm so sorry Ichigo. I'm use to Hueco Mundo, and even if I try to avoid conflict at all cost, that level of disrespect against a man I hold in high regard is reprehensible." Dipping her head, she said, "His words were-"

Ichigo's fist trembled at his side, and he found himself glad he left Zangetsu behind. "I heard him, Nel. Don't worry though. One thing you need to know about Byakuya is, he doesn't like being stood up for, because he has too much pride to care about the words of some loud mouth punk."

"Some savior," Kato shouted as he used his sword to withstand the onslaught of Ichigo's reiryoku, one he was trying desperately to contain. "People look up to you, but here you are, bringing Arrancars into our home."

"Fraternizing with quincy's," said another officer.

Ichigo looked bored at best, but his anger was apparent in the way his reiryoku began to visibly swell around him. "You're point?"

"My point is, for someone who worked to save our world, it feels more like you're trying to destroy it from the inside."

"More like I'm trying to stop you from making the same mistakes that caused these wars." Ichigo's intent glare drifted over all the sword brandished members circling them, and at the ghoulish display of disgust illuminated by the lights hovering over head, all Ichigo could do was scoff in the face of it. "Look at yourself, so full of blind hate. What do you think will happen?" he said, raising his voice for the ears of all gathered members. "You'll go into quincy territory, kill a bunch of innocent families, and that will somehow make it better? Do you think that will change anything that happened here?!"

"It's a start," Kato said. "Shinigami's believe in balance. Why not equal out those scales?"

"Yeah!" exclaimed several others.

"I'm not even a full fledged Shinigami, and I know that's not the way of the Shinigami," Ichigo said.

"Exactly, you're not even one of us," yelled a voice from within the crowd. This opened up a flood gate of accusations ], all snowballing until they formed an indiscernible blur of vial where only the worst stuck out.

"He had no choice but to fight if he wanted to save his home. That doesn't make him one of us!"

"And now he thinks he knows better than us."

"He thinks he is better than us!"

Ichigo could feel Nel's fingers wrapped around his forearm in a vice, and he could hear her say that they needed to leave, but he stayed firmly grounded.

"He doesn't even stay in the compounds. The Hero thinks he's too good."

Kato straightened with a certain type of victorious swagger, but his body vacillated under Ichigo's slipping temperance. So his voice would reach all ears, he turned to the crowd practically shouting. "Our resident Hero is living it up at the Kuchiki mansion, being lavished while we make due with compounds." He pointed his sword at Ichigo and said, "While we have whole families who were buried under the rubble of our homeland, he has a home unscathed and a family to return to whenever he pleases. Yet he sits so arrogantly in the lap of luxury and talks to us about compassion." Kato twisted his wrist back and forth, highlighting the rancorous speech with his blade as he suddenly felt the weight of Ichigo's reiatsu lifted. "What of it, Hero? You think you're better than us just because you have more power? You think fighting the same war we all did and losing a lot less makes you somehow better? Gives you a right to bring Arrancars into our home and devise peace with the Quincys?"

Ichigo was still silently anchored, and Nel now grasped tightly onto his arm with all the strength she had. Her throat tightened as her eyes crept across the sky. The night that encapsulated them shook like a dome in the midst of a gradual collapse.

It was now beyond them, all the other officers. They could no longer feel Ichigo's reiatsu, but Nel saw the danger in that. All around, lights flickered and birds that once sat peacefully atop venders were now nowhere to be seen. Even the elements reacted with fright, the wind ceasing and the ground beneath them rattling from the force of Ichigo's dither. Little blue tails of reiatsu were whipping around him, and her animal instincts were telling her to run, but she knew from the way Ichigo let loose not a single breath and from the way his every tendon pinched as if they were fortifying themselves against his building energy, that he was using every morsel of control he had to contain his frothing pressure. This stillness, it dangled with all it's impending peril. It was simply this lull that stood between everyone and an atomic bomb of calamity.

"Look at that yutaka! Something that nice had to be a present from his Taichou."

Kato laughed through his contorted lips as his blade struck the ground in front of him. "I can't even say I blame you. I'd probably endure that guy too if it meant I'd get to live it up. All you have to do is show him a little pity, and you get whatever you want." He ran his eyes up and down Ichigo's form and perked an eyebrow suggestively. "I wonder how much pity you gave him to get something that nice?"

At the way Ichigo's pursed lips parted and inhaled sharply, Nel knew there were mere moments left. With the full voltage of Ichigo's reiatsu seconds away from detonating, she attempted to flood him with something more calming, but it did no good. She herself was much too edgy and pained from the lashes of his reiatsu.

"Leave. Now!" she shouted. Her warning was met by an instant of hesitant shifting and vague murmurs. Again, she said, "If you value your life, le-"

An arm looped around her waist and pulled her away abruptly. Gaping, she looked up to see a flash of blue hair tickling at her peripheral. "Grimmjow, what are you doing?! Ichigo-"

"Relax," he said as he jumped onto a nearby roof and discarded the woman with little delicacy. "The cavalry is here."

Now with a bird's eye view, she looked down into the circle to see several taichou standing in the center. There was the Soutaichou and Zaraki standing off to the side and then there was Byakuya standing directly beside Ichigo, holding his joined middled and pointer fingers in a vertical position right above his chin. His free arm swiped to the side, forming a Shiju no Salmon barrier with the noble inside.

Nel jumped up in a panic, only to be pulled back down. Her and Grimmjow locked matching scowls. "Kuchiki Taichou is in danger!" she said.

"I don't give a shit about Kuchiki," Grimmjow said, spitting off to the side. "You go down there, you'll just get your pretty little self mangled."

"But why did he cast the barrier around both of them?"

Grimmjow grunted as he fixed his eyes on the scene below. "That barrier he using has been known to hold back a bankai blast, but it still cracked from the pressure. Ichigo, since he transcended or whatever, his reiatsu is almost up there with that maniacs, Bach."

"So you're saying it won't be able to hold him?"

"You catch on quick."

"So why not just put two barriers around him?!" she asked, jumping to her feet.

"Kenpachi Taichou don't know shit about Kido. That guy with the girly get up, apparently he can only do shoddy mid level kido, barriers not included. So their plan is to flood the barrier with calming reiatsu and hope he chills out enough so he doesn't blow the top off this place when he finally releases."

Nel absorbed the information, and her body uncoiled a bit as she took a stance beside Grimmjow to observe the chaos below. "I see," she said. "If that is all Kuchiki Taichou needs to do, than I trust in him to be fine."

Grimmjow tutted. "Whatever. If it was me down there, I'd tell him to let it rip on them ungrateful bastards."

Ichigo heard his name followed by a distinct pressure working it's way into his muscles. It kneaded at the tendons, stealing their tension and lavishing them with a lenitive coolness. Filled with blind rage, all Ichigo could manage was to contain his reiatsu within the space around him, almost like an armor. It crackled and hissed, and he found all of his senses muddied by its intensity. It wasn't until he heard his name again that Ichigo looked up and could see past the waning tendrils of his power.

"Ichigo," Byakuya said, and Ichigo's eyes appeared to finally register him. "Let go," he whispered with both of his palms floating above either side of Ichigo's forearms. Ichigo's reiatsu prickled at his fingertips, and just standing that close to the man felt similar to having electrically charged needles shot into him.

Ichigo looked up to Byakuya, face pulsing and red from strain, and he saw nothing but slate gray. No colors breached the tranquil expanse of coal, and knowing Byakuya could stay so leveled amidst the tornado of energy that surrounded them somehow reassured Ichigo. Still, he said, "No, not with you here."

Byakuya considered his options for a moment. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to break the barrier and create another of this magnitude with him on the outside. Even if he was a kido master, a barrier like this took a substantial amount of reiryoku. Seeing no other way, he readied himself, hoping that he had dampened Ichigo's reiatsu enough to withstand it.

"Trust that I will be fine."

Ichigo wished that he could, but he knew that Byakuya's words were merely trying to placate him and that there was no way of knowing if he'd hurt the noble or not. However, rather he surrendered willingly or forcefully, he was at his breaking point and would soon succumb.

' _Zangetsu, prot-'_

' _ **I'm way ahead of you, king.'**_

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Byakuya was pulled away by Zangetsu to the furthest wall of the barrier, and Senbonzakura manifested in front of the pair, with him his divine barrage of sakura blossoms creating a shield for his master.

Under the tremors emanated from Ichigo's geysering reiatsu, Senbonzakura fought valiantly to keep his footing, but his knees quaked and his shield began to disintegrate against such a raw and unleashed reiatsu. He felt Zangetsu's bone dense arm loop around his waist and pointed knees back against his own for support.

"I gotcha', Sunshine," Zangetsu said, sharing some of his reiatsu with the spirit. The samurai nodded in appreciation, letting himself borrow the other's strength to keep up his shield until the very last wave of power rippled under their feet.

Both spirits turned around to see a seated Byakuya blinking in confusion.

Senbonzakura offered up his hand in assisting the noble up. "Master."

Byakuya reached out his hand, and the samurai bridged the distances so his master wouldn't have to fumble for a grasp. "Senbonzakura, I thank you, but I did not request assistance from you nor from-"

"Yeah, yeah, we know. Pride and honor and blah, blah," Zangetsu interjected, "but can you forget it just this once? King was really worried he'd hurt you."

Now standing, the noble steadied himself as he used his senses to reach out for signs of Ichigo. He could hear his panting and feel his exasperated concern. Zangetsu shunpo over to a wobbly Ichigo and offered him support .

"Thanks," Ichigo said, his arm slung around the neck of his sword spirit.

Zangetsu smirked. "What's a king without his horse?"

"You're no horse, Zangetsu" Ichigo said, a small chuckle arising from his scorched throat.

"And don't you forget it."

"And thanks about Byakuya too. If I had've hurt him, I-"

"Yeah, I know, King."

Byakuya sighed in relief as he removed his walking cane from a fold in his yutaka. As him and Senbonzakura walked over to Ichigo and Zangetsu, Ichigo staggered forward with his sword spirit still acting as a crutch.

"Byakuya, you're okay?"

"Yes. I am fine."

"And Nel?"

"She is fine also."

Ichigo nodded in understanding, more for himself than anything. Then Byakuya said, "Senbonzakura, Zangetsu, return to your inner worlds. I believe we have drawn enough attention to ourselves for one evening."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Ichigo said with a scowl. "That's a pretty common occurrence around me."

"Par the course, Kurosaki Ichigo."

"I'm starting to think it's always g-"

Ichigo cut himself off when he was thrusted into Byakuya, which nearly sent both of them tumbling. The noble managed to brace against Ichigo's shoulders while also keeping the younger man up.

"What the hell was that for?!" Ichigo said, scowling over his shoulder at a smirking Zangetsu.

Zangetsu shrugged a shoulder, and at the knowing look he could practically feel exuding from the masked samurai, he winked his way. "You told us to go back, and I got tired of waiting. See you later," he said before fading away, Senbonzakura following his lead.

Ichigo let out a little growl as Byakuya said, "Sit down, Kurosaki Ichigo. You need healing."

"Don't waste you're reiryoku on me, Byakuya. I'm fine," Ichigo said as he tried to pull himself away from the noble's support.

"Nonsense, you a-"

"I'm serious, Byakuya. I've had way less reiryoku than this before, and I've been fi-" Once again, Ichigo was falling, only this time he had not been pushed but simply let go. He landed on his back, arms and legs splayed out like a starfish. "You bastard," Ichigo said in between full body coughs.

The noble poked Ichigo with his cane to determine his own positioning, causing Ichigo to groan at the pressure. As Byakuya took up a seiza potion, he said, "You fool. It is about the strain holding back such a reiatsu puts on your body, not the amount of reiryoku you have."

Ichigo hissed in dissent. "I just lost my balance. You put up that huge barrier, and I know that took a lot out of you."

"I believe the fact that you are laying out on the ground and that I am not is the only argument I need."

"Fine, whatever."

As the tension seeped from his body, it was evaporated by the air around the pair. There was a sort've agitated kind've silence, not at each other, but at the night's events.

Finally, Ichigo sighed, and then he said, "I'm sorry that this got so out of hand. I need to wear a seal or something. I really tried to-"

"Why are you apologizing?" Byakuya asked, his hands gliding just above the prone form of Ichigo with all of their typical fluidity. "I believe the words of that officer would have piqued anyone. The only distinguishing factor is that you have a much stronger reiatsu than others."

Byakuya tilted his head ever so slightly, and Ichigo could see a blood red wrath broiling at his eyes. When he'd one day look back on it, he'd realize that this was the moment it hit him, the moment he realized what vastly different molds they originated from. The noble's hands did not convulse nor did the fluency of his applications waver. His face was hermetic, motionless and untouchable. Similar to how the static push and pull of the ocean's surface told nothing of the simmering vents that laid beyond, Byakuya's meticulously honed reactions concealed a furry that churned in his underbelly. Even while facing a possibly fatal situation, Byakuya completely detached himself of all emotions, holding an essence of nothingness. That discipline, it could be terrifying in it's frigid logic, but to Ichigo, it didn't feel cold at all. If anything, it was amazing in both good and bad ways.

"If anything, I'd say you practiced a tremendous amount of control this evening."

Ichigo gave a pained chuckle. "What can I say? I work the best under pressure."

"Quite literally."

Ichigo leaned up on his elbows and regarded Byakuya briefly before saying, "They shouldn't have said that stuff about you."

"I am use to that sort've prattle," Byakuya said right before he removed his hands and tilted his head upwards. "Those were not the words that bothered me."

Leaving the implications of Byakuya's words floating between them, both got to their feet. For the first time, Ichigo noticed the barrier had dispersed along with most of the crowd. When they were footfalls away from the commander and the officers involved in the incident, Ichigo nudged Byakuya with his elbow to indicate their arrival.

"You sure stole the show, Kurosaki-san," Kyōraku jested, flagrantly grinning. "I don't think we'll even need the fireworks now." When Ichigo gave the commander a look that said his humor wasn't appreciated, the man said, "Now Kuchiki Taichou, since this incident involved both you're Fukutaichou and San-seki, I think you should choose the punishment for these inciters."

Kato's eyes popped open, and he quickly took a step forward. "Inciters? It was that green haired Arrancar that caused us to defend ourselves. She attempted to release her sword against us! What are you going to do about that?"

"That's not what h-" Both Ichigo's opposition and jutting body were dismissed when Byakuya held up his hand.

The noble closed his eyes and said, "I saw nothing of it, and yourself, Soutaichou Kyōraku?"

"Nope, not a thing."

Under his breath, thinking no one could hear him, Kato said, "Blind fool." Of course, he was not taking Byakuya's heightened hearing into consideration.

"Come again, boy? If you speak anything, speak it with pride and confidence. Do not mutter in my presence."

Not being completely idiotic, Kato knew such blatant disrespect given to a captain, especially to their face, was punishable by Seireitei law, yet he felt backed into a corner. Pointing his chin and gritting his teeth in defiance, he said, "I said, blind fool."

Ichigo looked over to Byakuya, who had closed his eyes momentarily. When he opened them, the red specks had consumed most of his iris. "Is this an insult? For most of my life," he said, his words deliberate and slow, "appearances have held a great significance. In a way, I am sure they alway will. However, now when I encounter someone, something as arbitrary as outward appearances have no effect on my opinion. You could say that I am freed from such shallow misconceptions. With this change in perspective, I have realized what other things are meaningless in determining a person's character, such as what race they belong to or their status. Perhaps everyone should be a blind fool."

None of the officers said a word. Ichigo and the commander, too, remained silent, but Ichigo wore an expression that was somewhere between a pleased smile and a smug grin. "Now, as for your punishment, we are much too depleted in manpower for you to reap the consequences I believe you truly deserve." A pause. "Weakly spars with either of the newly appointed Arrancar officers."

"W-what!"

Byakuya cut his eyes away, shutting them as if, even though he couldn't see, he was disgusted by the mere knowledge of the officer's vicinity. "You speak so passionately, yet so recklessly. So much so you do not listen. No, this type of ignorance can not be reasoned away. It must be conditioned out of you. Perhaps, if you have a shred of intelligence, you will learn something from this."

The commander nodded in a lazily fashion, and Ichigo gave Byakuya a wilted look. Insulted and dripping with disdain, here he was, choosing to give to the officers when many would take away. Byakuya was like that though. His lethal logic lent itself to reasonable compassion, and he was much too intelligent and self sacrificing to weigh the worth of a situation by the grit of flitting emotion. It was admirable, and Ichigo would've been surprised if being caught off guard by Byakuya wasn't starting to become the status quo.

"Half of you will be place with my San-seki and the other half with Zaraki Taichou new Go-seki." His lips curled in a way that only someone who knew him well would've noticed, and there was an unmistakable gleam of mischievous intent in his eyes. "I believe Jeagerjaques Go-seki would be the best placement for you, boy."

Of course, Ichigo didn't mind his captain's twisted manner of amusing himself either, at least when it wasn't directed towards him.

"Do you agree with this, Kurosaki Fukutaichou?"

Ichigo's smirk doubled in size. "Don't worry about Grimmjow. He won't kill you on purpose."

At Kato's eyes going wide with terror, the commander cleared his throat reprovingly. "There will be moderators, of course."

"Of course," Byakuya said before he gave some parting words to the commander and left towards his mansion, Ichigo at his side.

 **xXx**

Byakuya stood in a moment of quiet indecisiveness, his foot just barely edging the wooden flooring of his deck. He thought back to the last time he saw Ichigo Kurosaki. It had just started raining, and everything was hot and sticky. Maybe it was the ever present stench of iron and death staining the air around him, but it felt as if the sky was pouring blood. Even after the war, as if it had been as much soaked into his skin as it had been soaked into the battlefield, he still smelled iron every now and again.

Everything had felt hazy, and Ichigo had this look about him, as if he had been crying, though over what, he wasn't sure. Byakuya thought he looked so much older than months prior - the last time he had seen Ichigo. Physically, he was the same. He had the body of a man, but now with the soul to match. He looked as if he was lacking something that was once there, and Byakuya wasn't sure when he started drawing correlations between growing old and being fragmented, like a puzzle that had lost a few pieces along the way. Still, Ichigo was beautiful just like that, broken yet standing tall. He was a picture of tenaciousness that could always be depicted no matter how many pieces were stolen from him.

Byakuya knew that would be the last time he saw Ichigo. Life was funny like that, because he had been right, just in all the wrong ways.

"Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come drink this sake with me?"

Byakuya jolted from his thoughts. He hadn't realized how lost he had gotten in them. With no words, he moved over to the kotatsu and sat down, and when he heard the sounds of a popping cork, sloshing liquid, and glass sliding against wood, he wondered if Ichigo had been anticipating him, or perhaps, he had been hoping for him. Byakuya wondered when they had gotten like this, and then he realized, it didn't matter.

For much time, they sat content with their mutual pondering, and it probably would've stayed like that until one or both of them retired for the evening if it weren't for the sentiments that made the noble's tongue heavy with unsaid words.

"They branded you as a savior, only to vilify you without a moment's hesitation. This is not an all too uncommon plight for a hero," he said, considering his next words carefully. "Years from this day, when students learn of the war from books and lectures, they will speak of you as ignorantly as those did tonight, as simply a hero, but not as a man. However, for many, this is not the case. For many, myself included, it was the man who touched our hearts."

Byakuya paused, and even though all he heard was the tentatively taken sips of sake, he could feel Ichigo listening more intently. "When I was thought to be perishing on the battlefield, I knew you would come to be apart of our war, but you came and gave me passing peace, something I can never truly repay. Both in the knowledge of Rukia and Renji's safety, but in something even greater. I was never naive enough to think we could win the war simply because of your participation. I just knew that if victory could not be found with you, then there was no victory to be had. The morale you embarked with your presence, that was because of the man you are, not the hero, and for those of us lucky enough to be touched by you, we will not forget. We will stand for you."

There was more silence, dead and unbroken by anything this time. Finally, Ichigo said, "You're speaking to me like you thought I would give up or something."

There was a slight draw to Ichigo's voice, a bit humorous, and it was almost enough to make the noble smile. "I would never, but surely no one could blame you after the words spoken so crassly by the people you are trying to help."

As if stretching, Ichigo let out a relaxed sigh before he said, "You should know by now, Byakuya, the more people tell me I can't do something, the more I want to prove them wrong."

Behind the rim of his glass, Byakuya concealed an endeared smirk. "I suppose I should."

…

 **Up Next: Making up, the pain that never leaves, and Ichigo's surprise.**

 **xXx**

 **Tifanny91: Hey love! I finally finished this monster of a chapter. Seriously, I didn't think I would ever get it done. Anyway, I total believe that compassion is the biggest part of any relationship. You don't have to understand exactly why someone is upset to respect it, and since healthy relationships is what I'm all about, I wanted to show both Ichigo and Byakuya having compassion for the parts of each other they don't quite understand. Not to mention, you get the feel that they're really getting closer. They're growing into each other, so to speak. You're totally right about them both being reserved. That's why I go through so much to push them into these situations where they're able to open up to each other. So it can later on just be natural. The whole moral behind this story is growth and how beautiful things can grow from ugly places. From the beginning, if even one thing didn't happen the way that it did(Like Renji didn't die or Byakuya didn't lose his sight, or Byakuya didn't originally open up to Ichigo because he was planing on going into solitude) then they would never have had the chance to get to know each other. After the war, everything had been broken down, and because of that, it gives everyone this opportunity to build something beautiful from the wreckage. In Byakuya and Ichigo's case, I think it's even more beautiful because it's totally coincidental that all these random events happened in just the right(or wrong) way to lead them to each other.**

 **siwon611: If you're into the whole mind games thing, you should watch a show called House of Cards if you haven't already! I'm totally into it too. I actually did research on how to get people to do whatever you want so I could make the last part more believable. The whole last part was just so much fun to write. As a loyal ByaIchi fan girl who's read just about every fic out there for them(Except the fem stuff, because… I don't know, I just can't do it. lol It feels wrong) I think you should totally write for them! You seem like a pretty big fan of theirs, and I bet you would do them justice. :)**

 **kiel Chea: Omg, your comments always make me laugh. Please keep being you.**

 **Dust-of-Moon: Hey dear! Thanks for the comment. Theres a little bit of Grimmjow and Nel in here for your pleasure! I could always see Byakuya playing the piano or something like that. I play the guitar! Not all too well. As Byakuya said, I merely dabble. :)**

 **LustfulAvarices: I think that was probably one of my favorite lines of this whole story. lol. I can't help but to add a bit of humor here and there. As always, thank you for the comment!**

 **Kurenai24: Thank you for the feedback. I actually do have a beta who is going back and editing my chapters. Although, I haven't posted any of them yet.**

 **akirahiguchi: Hey there! Thank you for reading my story, and I'm glad It had that sort've effect on you. I hope you go on to enjoy the rest of the chapters.**

 **KiKa: Thank you for taking the time to give me feedback! Even though it's a pretty sad story at times, I'm glad I could make you laugh. It's also slowly paced, like really slow, so it's good to know it keeps you invested.**


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Hello my beauties. So is it just me, or is time going by way too fast? It doesn't feel like it's been a month since I last updated this story, but it has. Anyway, I have a few things, but I'll keep it short and sweet. Firstly, I want to thank all those who take the time to give me feedback. Most everyone is in school right now, and as someone who has two jobs and schooling, I understand the burdensome of being busy. Please, however, take the time to review this story. Motivation doesn't come from a vacuum. Meaning, I don't pull it from my ass, it comes from you guys. Fan is the most imperative word in fan fiction.

Secondly, I decided to condense this story and pick up the pacing by taking out whole scenes and combing multiple chapters into one. I'm at this awkward stage of the story where I'm mostly done setting the stage for their relationship, but I'm not quite ready to start building towards the climax, so bear with me.

And lastly, I'm sorry if this chapter is kind've convoluted. I really hated this whole part of the story where I have to write how Byakuya will go onto fight without his sight, but it's necessary. I'm not so happy with it, but I honestly couldn't do much better than this. Hopefully you guys don't mind it too much.

 **Terms to know**

Ranbantai: Sixth division

Hokutan: Third District of West Rukon

Seiza: Sitting postion

Yonbanta: Fourth Divison

 **Song: "Rising Water," by James Vincent McMorrow**

Good vibes. ~Ashes

 **A Dark Place to Find Answers**

 **xXx**

" **You make me feel alive**

 **in spite of rising water.**

 **Abandoning my car**

 **about a mile from nowhere"**

At the edges of Sokyoku Hill, Ichigo stood in breathless wonder as he looked upon the thriving spectacle that pierced the sky with it's vibrant red tongues. The tongues lashed out at the contrasting blue with all of their anger and hopefulness. Bittersweet reiatsu gave birth to these tsubaki trees, making them amazingly loud in their inanimate existence.

People were calling it the Circle of Courage. Each tree represented a division, each one surrounded by the mementos of fallen soldiers. Ichigo found something profoundly humbling in the sight. The people of Seireitei had flocked towards the circle and fed it both their pain and their hope, and the trees turned those conflicted emotions into life. Through their growth, the trees taught them all a valuable lesson about how beautiful happenings can come from the darkest of origins.

Byakuya didn't realize it, but he'd given the remaining members of the gotei a tangible outlet for their grief and a place where they could feel a sense of connection amidst the chaos.

"Ichigo."

He turned to see Rukia. Somehow it felt like ages since he'd seen her.

"Rukia," he said, a genuine smile meeting his eyes.

Together they stood in quiet vigil, looking down at the scattered memories surrounding the ranbantai tree. There was a picture of Renji sporting a dopy smile. It was one of many captured expressions, but it felt so inconsequential, because for many, Renji was more than a flimsy piece of paper lost among a sea of faces.

The winds soft caress against the trees and the shuffling of feet were the only sounds for a while. Finally, Rukia lowered herself on her haunches, pulled a pair of goggles from the sleeve of her garment, and placed it in front of the picture.

Ichigo knelt down too, and he forced himself to relax. "Do you know what I miss about Renji the most?" He asked. "How nothing ever got him down. He was so bright, even after all you two went through. He couldn't fake that, the way he lit everyone up."

Something warm and wet slid across Ichigo's hand, and that was how he realized he was crying.

Rukia looked towards him, her own tears speaking of a pain that, though they both shared in, felt agonizing in its loneliness.

"I went over fifty years without speaking to Renji before I met you," she said softly, "but I don't think I'll ever get use to this. Without him here, I don't think anything will ever feel the same again."

Ichigo nodded and swallowed hard. He didn't dare try to contradict her or feed her some cliche, motivational bull shit about how it all gets better. Maybe because she was right, nothing would ever feel the same, but that didn't mean it would always feel horrible. Beautiful things were spawned from the ugliest of places. Renji and Rukia were living examples of that.

They both sat impervious to time or to the sunlight that began to peek through holes in the overcast and make the tears on their faces glitter, but somehow, the air around the two became breathable again, and the heavy sinkers that weighed them down lost a bit of their power.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo said.

"Don't be. It's normal for you to be strong for everyone, even form me. Especially for me. I demanded it from you."

"You brought it out in me."

"Yeah, but being tough isn't always the answer for everything." She dipped her head and simpered at the patchy grass. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like that was the only way to be, like there was something shameful in grieving."

Ichigo smirked and ruffled her hair playfully. "Don't get a big head, Ruk'. I've been like this way before I met you."

Rukia snorted as she dried her tears with the back of her hands. "I'd almost like to say, if he were here, Renji would have kept us from being so thickheaded, but I think we both know that's not true."

"We would've just shouted at each other until you smacked one or both of us".

"Definitely both," Rukia said as she rolled her eyes, "You two idiots clashed all the time."

Ichigo smiled softly down at the picture of Renji. Talking about him made it hurt a little less. "Yeah, we did."

After a moment, Rukia inhaled deeply and let her eyes roam the area. "This is quite the place Nii-sama started."

"Yeah, it's pretty sobering." When Rukia gave Ichigo a prompting look, he said, "Grieving can feel like a pretty isolated thing, but when I come here... I don't know, I feel the opposite of alone in it."

She blinked at him a few times until the ends of her lips curled into a smile. "That reminds me of something Nii-sama might say. He would put it more eloquently, of course."

Ichigo attempted to hide a sheepish smile behind a mocking snort. "What can I say? As much as I try to stop it, I guess he managed to rub off on me some."

"You should be so lucky."

"I see somethings haven't changed," Ichigo said with a grimace. "You still have that weird big brother complex."

Rukia flushed and took no time in slapping Ichigo over the head. "I do not!"

Despite his scowl, Ichigo couldn't help the small chuckle that left him. This was simple. He had missed this.

 **xXx**

Today was important to Byakuya. He was entering the final stage of his training, which Uchi informed him was harder to master than all of the other stages combined.

He missed the feel of power rushing through him and how it made his bones hum with anticipation. It hadn't been too long in hindsight, but when you're weak, every day was a century. The bad just dragged on.

He was eager, and he knew concentration was key, but memories from earlier made Byakuya's head feel like a loud, bustling room with no doors. He'd been visited personally by the Head Elder, and it was no mere social call. However, after Ichigo mentioned the cloning experiments being done under the authority of the Grand Elder Council, Byakuya had some choice words of his own. An altercation had been unavoidable.

As the head of his clan, Byakuya did not appreciate lies and manipulation being directed towards him, especially by members of his own court. He had been strong armed into having an heir by trumped up fears of his demise and the end of a bloodline. It had all been a scheme, tactics to gain his obedience. Most insulting of all was the fact that the truth would've came out within the next few months one way or another, and they were still so blatantly dishonest, as if they assumed him without back bone.

In the end, after the Head Elder expressed his own grievances, Byakuya was still set for an arranged marriage in little less than a year's time. They were holding the noble's decision to publicly support Ichigo without their consent over his head. In their own words, they feared a fiasco that would bring shame to their names if Ichigo should fail.

Technically, he had gone against clan legislation, because although it was perfectly acceptable for Byakuya to veto decisions made by the elders, to do so without any regard for their council and then to speak on their behalf was considered inexcusable. Such breaches in law were punishable by ceremonial lashings, or worse, by having all executive privileges revoked for an allotted amount of time. Now even more pressure was building for Ichigo's success, but Byakuya wouldn't put this on him. It had been the noble's choice to back Ichigo, and he was fully equipped to deal with the consequences.

Nonetheless, in light of his "indiscretion", they considered their sin simple collateral damage, as if his silent complacency was a form of repentance. It wrecked his gut and spit on his pride to be played like a pawn in some elaborate game of chess, but Byakuya had little choice but to concede.

All the more reason for him to concentrate. Between the loss of his sight and the elder's trampling on the volition Byakuya held so dearly since he crossed faiths with Ichigo, a weight was eroding at his confidence. He felt tiny and insignificant in this world of elitism, and although he held himself with all the forceful resolution expected of nobility, Byakuya still, at times, felt as blindingly uncertain as the day he lost his vision. All of his leaps felt like baby steps, and maybe he was still stumbling in the dark, but that ended today.

Just as him and Uchi were about to begin their training, a gust of shunpo sounded from behind them.

"Yo, Byakuya," said Ichigo, and the noble's chest did jumping jacks at the sound.

"Byakuya?" Uchi asked, his voice laced with speculative humor. "My, my."

"It is Lord Kuchiki to you," Byakuya said. "Kurosaki Ichigo, this is my trainer, Uchi-san."

Uchi bowed, his feet bouncing playfully. "So this is the young man who pursued my services? I'm surprised we haven't met yet, since we are both taking refuge within the Kuchiki manor."

"It's not too surprising. This place is so big that the whole rokubantai could be living here and we'd probably never know."

"I suppose you're right. I breed and train dogs in Hokutan, so I'm hardly around the grounds unless we are training."

"Why are you here, Kurosaki Ichigo?" Byakuya asked, feeling embarrassed at how his body seemed conditioned to react towards Ichigo's presence.

"I knew you were doing the last part of your training today, and I wanted to make sure you were putting in your all."

"More like you are using me as an excuse to not do your own training."

Ichigo smirked at the pools of magenta that submersed any gray in Byakuya's eyes. "Hey, I just wanted to stay and see all your hard work pay off, but if I make you nervous, I can leave."

Uchi sputtered mirthfully, and if Byakuya was a different man, he would've sworn he was blushing.

"Of course you can stay!" Uchi exalted, corking his head to the side. "We're about to start. Although, admittedly, I was going to attempt to convince Lord Kuchiki here to go on a date with me after this was all finished," he said, rubbing at his chin, "but I suppose that would be classless to do while you are here, yes?"

"Uh… oh… that's, we-"

"But of course, he wants nothing to do with me past my skills, and I am not talking about the ones I have in the bedroom. So it is probably better that you saved me from my fruitless pursuits."

The pressure that had suddenly rattled at Ichigo's chest dissipated, and he felt an odd sense of relief. He cleared his throat and said, "Whatever. It's not my business."

Uchi, being the master of reading others reiatsu that he was, smirked at the fluctuations he sensed coming from both Byakuya and Ichigo. "Relieved, are we?"

Ichigo's face grew wide and defensive. "What?!"

"Do not let him bother you, Kurosaki Ichigo. His payment is the trouble of others."

Uchi let out a whopping breath. "Ah, and I do love my job." He walked around a bit, humming and tapping a finger against his chin. "Let's talk about bats, shall we?!" He said as he clapped his hands together, and Byakuya reflexively rolled his eyes.

"Is he always this weird?" Ichigo asked.

"Much more so."

"You two may call me weird, but it's bats that will be your saving grace. I studied them for years to device this method of training, only to find out they're blind people in the World of the Living who already do something similar." He scoffed and tilted his head side to side. "Oh well, I suppose here in Soul Society I am a revelation. Now, bats see using something called echolocation. Do you know what this is?"

"Yes," Byakuya said, "It is a type of sonar where animals emit sound waves into their environment and form a image in the brain".

"Good. I don't have to explain that then. Blind humans can use this technique also. They make clicking sounds, and like certain animals, a vague image will form in their heads when the sound waves bounce off of their surrondings." Uchi chuckled as he said, "Although, you are much too prideful to go around clucking, Lord Kuchiki."

Byakuya pointed his chin, feeling almost offended. "If that is what it takes, I will do it. My pride is in my ability to fight for the things I want to protect."

Uchi hummed humbly. "Then I apologize for my assumption. Luckily for you, however, there is another, more effective way of using echolocation to fight. Your reiatsu."

"How?"

"As you recall from our past lesson, it is a sense of it's own, an energy, if you will. The technique I created allows you to push your reiatsu out in the same manner one might use sound waves. Only, in my studies, I found that the echoes do not simply bounce back on their own. The user must be constantly recycling their reiatsu, pushing it out and bringing it back. I will tell you now, Lord Kuchiki, it's an extremely difficult technique to master."

"Wait, won't that use a lot of reiatsu?" Ichigo asked.

"I see you are as bright as they say your hair is, Kurosaki-san. Yes, it does. In fact, the most anyone has ever been able to use this technique when paired with nonstop combat has been two hours, and that person was me, the creator. While I was fighting, I was out putting very little reiatsu. You, however, put out a great amount of reiatsu when you yield your zonpakuto, and if my prediction is correct, you will only be able to fight thirty minutes at a time once you have mastered this."

"That is all? Thirty minutes?"

"Yes, and that is pushing it."

A loathsome sensation of despondency prickled at the noble's chest. It felt like defeat. All the hope that filled him was syphoned out by the truth of Uchi's words. He appreciated the frankness of Uchi's disposition, but it still felt like having his wings clipped mid air. Maybe he had expected too much.

"Hey," Ichigo said as he placed a hand on Byakuya's shoulder. "I know what you're thinking, but don't worry about that."

"But thirty minutes is-"

"Is thirty minutes more than you had before. Look at what's ahead of you and at what you can do. Besides," Ichigo added, a playful smile evergreen in his voice, "thirty minutes is more than enough time for you to kick anyone's ass."

Byakuya nodded in appreciation. That was one of the many reasons he enjoyed having Ichigo around. He inspired Byakuya with the authenticity of his grit and the optimism of his outlook. Just his presence made Byakuya want to do better and push harder, as if being watched by Kurosaki Ichigo was the difference between defeat and victory.

"Right. How do I proceeded?"

"It is just like I said. You will emit your reiatsu, the littlest amount possible, and draw it back in at a constant rate. This act alone is hard, but add fighting, and it becomes nearly impossible. You will stay out here until you can keep a consistent image in your head for an hour. It will look almost like a blueprint of your surroundings, no details, but outlines. Go ahead, try it now."

And Byakuya did. He closed his eyes to steady himself before he pushed out some reiatsu and pulled it back. It took a while, but once he did it correctly, the echoey imprint that developed inside of him was almost enough to bring tears to his eyes. It looked grainy and distorted, like looking at someone through the veil of a rain storm, but it was the most beautiful sight Byakuya had ever seen.

He tilted his head towards Ichigo and did it again. The young's man form was just sketchy contours filled with nothing. If he didn't know it was Ichigo, those linear echoes could've been anyone, but it made his heart do back flips all the same. Ichigo was right, thirty minutes was the whole world.

"I see you," Byakuya said breathlessly. He wasn't sure why. It wasn't as if he could really see Ichigo, but the words just left his lips, like they needed to be said.

"I'm proud of you, Byakuya," Ichigo said, and there was a swelling in his voice that hinted towards strong emotions the young man couldn't quite articulate.

"I have done little to be proud of yet."

"You've done everything. Some people just say thank you," he murmured, "stubborn bastard."

"You have my gratitude. Now leave. You distract me, and you should also begin your own training so your lose will not be too humiliating when we finally spar."

Ichigo snorted and shook his head in amusement as he began to walk away. "I'll leave you too it then. You'll need all the training you can get to beat me."

 **xXx**

Ichigo stood with a plate of freshly prepared food that Fujita had given him. The sun was about to set, and it just barely brushed against the closing cerulean curtain of the day. A coral hue washed over everything, and it made the garden and it's inhabitants blur around the edges. He watched Byakuya from afar, and he felt reverence for the dedication of the noble. Half a day had passed, and he sat in a seiza, eye closed and posture impossibly straight. He hadn't left that position. It was both amazing and sort've scary.

"Lost in thought, Kurosaki-san?"

Shook from his reverie, Ichigo looked to his side to see Uchi staring aimlessly into the garden. The warmth radiating through his palms reminded him of why he was there.

"I was going to bring Byakuya some food, but what if he's close to his hour and I disrupt him? I know I'd be pissed if someone messed up all my progress."

Uchi waved a hand flippantly. "No one ever makes it to an hour on their first day. He'll most likely pass out from a lack of reiatsu before that happens. I just wanted to see how far he'll push himself."

"If no one makes it to an hour without passing out, then why did you tell him to sit out there until he does?" Ichigo asked as his grip tightened against the heat in his hands. "Don't you know how important this is to him? He'll stay out there till morning if he has to. Are you trying to make him sick?"

"Protective, are we?" Uchi asked, perking a brow.

"I just don't want the guy ending up in the yonbantai, that's all."

"As I said, I just want to see how far he'll push himself. He is a grown man who knows his own limits."

"Not the point. If he thinks an hour is normal, he'll be really down on himself when he doesn't make it."

Uchi smiled in a placating manner, gesturing out a hand towards the sky. "The first man who looked at the moon never would've thought another would one day walk upon it. Improbable is not impossible, and Lord Kuchiki is a man who can make the Improbable happen through determination alone. No one has ever reached this point in their training at such a quick pace, so have faith."

Ichigo fell briefly into thoughtful silence. "Yeah," he said, "you're right. If anyone can do it, it's him. He's so concentrated sometimes that it freaks me out."

Uchi blinked against the dearth of light before he said, "It makes me wonder what drives a man like that. A man who has all the wealth and comfort in the world, what makes him fight for strength so fervently?"

"It's hard to understand unless you really know him," Ichigo explained, fixating his fretted brow on Byakuya. "His birthright was to lead a whole clan. Everyone expected great things from him. He never had a choice but to be strong." Ichigo paused, and a frown was flagrant on his face. "He fights like that… because that's all his life has ever been, a fight to live up to everyone's expectations."

Uchi made a considering noise and said, "You seem to understand him well for not being of royalty yourself."

Ichigo shrugged a shoulder. "I probably never would've really understood him if I didn't become his fukutaichou, but now I see we're not all too different. I just had a choice to get that strong, even if it didn't feel like it at the time. We were both still fighting an uphill battle, and we both had a lot to lose."

"Can I ask you a personal question, Kurosaki-san?"

Ichigo's eyes shifted as a scowl formed on his face. "I can't promise I'll answer."

"Fair enough," Uchi said with a faint laugh. "What made you decide to stay in Soul Society after the war?"

Ichigo's feet shuffled slightly, and his grip slacked against the dish. He was frowning, contemplating, turning the question in every direction as if to see it at all angles. "I don't know. It's just how things played out, I guess."

"And do you think it was the right decision?"

Ichigo's frown deepened, and after a moment, he said, "I don't think there's a right or wrong decision. I do miss my friends and family, but you don't get to do the thing I did and then go home to a normal life. Even if I went home, it wouldn't have felt normal, or at least, I wouldn't have felt normal."

He went silent for a moment before he added, "I'm not blindly optimistic like some people think I am, but I always choose to kick life right in the teeth no matter how bad my odds look. I only see what's right in front of me. Byakuya really needed someone to believe in him right after the war ended, so that was all that mattered at the time."

As if to say he understood, Uchi nodded with a smile. "You don't regret it, being so shortsighted about staying?"

"No, I never regret following my gut."

At that, Uchi bubbled with boisterous laughter. "I see your motto is 'act first, think later,' yes?"

Ichigo's lips curled smugly, and he shrugged his shoulder in an aloof manner typical to himself. "It's worked out for me so far. Beside, whatever the consequences, I face them head on, and I never regret it."

"That's admirable."

"Admirable? I'm not so big headed as to say that. I think that's just normal, owning up to your decisions."

Uchi simply nodded again, and for a while, both stood content in wordless company, letting their thoughts drift without reason. An Idea made a sudden appearance in Ichigo's head, prompting him to say, "Hey, Uchi-san, I want to ask you a favor. It's for Byakuya."

"Kurosaki Ichigo, savior of the three worlds, wants a favor from me?" Uchi smiled slyly. "Color me intrigued."

The two discussed the terms of what Ichigo had in mind and how to make it happen until the breeze of a shunpo drew them from their plotting.

"Hey!" Ichigo exalted, looking wide eyed at Byakuya. "You used your shunpo!"

"That I did. Only a short distance, bu-"

"Don't downplay your wins," Ichigo said, shaking his head in a reproving manner.

"You're not giving up on the hour yet, are you?" Uchi ask.

"Give up?" Byakuya echoed, lifting his nose haughtily. "I have superseded the hour. I reached an hour and fifteen minutes."

Uchi's jaw stretched like rubber, and his brows jumped to the tip of his head. "But… no one has ever came close to that time when using my technique, not on their first day."

"Perhaps that is because I have never used your technique," Byakuya countered, rolling his shoulder with an air of detached triumph. However, his attempts to appear unfazed were thwarted when he began to sway. He was caught by Ichigo's free hand right before his body gave way to a lack of balance and energy.

"Yeah, and you drained yourself of reiatsu because of it!" He said, scolding the man rather loudly as he placed Byakuya's arm around his shoulder and wrapped his grasp around the noble's waist. "You can't look cool while you're passing out, idiot. Let's go to the deck so you can eat."

"Fine, but I do not need to be carried like a child."

"Then why do you whine like one?"

"If that is so, it is because I get it from you," Byakuya said, huffing petulantly. However, despite his cheeky retort, his body had already given in. He braced against Ichigo as the two moved forward.

"Yeah, yeah, less talking, more walking." Ichigo looked over his shoulder before he continued forward. "Hey, Uchi-san, you want to join us?"

Uchi smiled, but waved off the offer. "Thank you, but I have preexisting obligations. When are you free to further discuss our _business arrangement_ , Kurosaki-san?"

"How's tomorrow around two work?"

"Excellent. I shall see you then. Oh, and as for you, Lord Kuchiki, I expect practice. Using my technique and your powers simultaneously is where the real challenge begins." He smirked wickedly. "And don't worry, it only hurts the first couple of times you shunpo into a tree. Have fun."

"Do I even want to know what your business is with that man?" Byakuya asked as they gimped forward.

"Probably not."

 **xXx**

 **A month later.**

Uchi had lied. Running into trees was never something you became habituated to. The pain was insignificant, but it bruised his ego more than his body. After a month's time, however, the humiliating occurrence was happening less and less.

Byakuya shunpo through a throng of trees, dodging and weaving as he zoomed past the foliage. As the image in his head became shaky and the connection dropped, Byakuya came to a bracing halt.

Ichigo stopped at his tail and punched a button on the stopwatch he'd been borrowing from Hiyori. "Ten minutes. That's great, but you can do better."

"That almost sounded like a question," Byakuya teased, and the gold in his eyes glinted as it caught the light of the sun.

Byakuya's eyes had been lively today, festive like fireworks blooming against a dark sky. Ichigo enjoyed the confidence foretold in those changing colors. "And that definitely sounded like an answer."

"I want to hit ten and a half minutes before the day is through."

"Don't think about the time too much. It'll distract you. Just push the concentration."

"Right."

"It's so cute when they work together."

At the presence of Uchi, Urahara, and a third, unidentifiable pressure, Byakuya and Ichigo turned towards the group.

"Urahara Kisuke, please inform me of who allowed you on my property so I can fire them."

"Now, Lord Kuchiki, " said Uchi, "you should be kinder to a long time friend."

"I do not recall such a relationship existing between us," Byakuya said, knitting his brow curiously. "What is this third reiatsu I am feeling?"

"Ah, this is Artemis. She's a saluki hunting dog." Uchi tugged the harnesses of the canine pulling at his arm. "Your dog." Byakuya's green specked eyes rounded, and his mouth curved in confusion. "I see you don't understand. Maybe your fukutaichou could explain, since it was his idea."

"Ichigo..." Byakuya said, his features melting into relaxation.

Byakuya, a man who believed formalities were an extension of pride, used his first name only, and it made Ichigo's mind reboot. He went stupidly still from the words he couldn't process. He knew the noble didn't mean to call him just Ichigo, but it felt like such a natural mistake. It wasn't a decision to refer to Ichigo with a degree of intimacy, but an impulse. There was a power in that, a power that came with the same gratifying responsibility Ichigo felt when he yielded Zangetsu. His whole body flared with a sense of scarce importance.

Finally, he grinned before moving over to Uchi and taking hold of the harness. "When I heard Uchi was a dog breeder, I remembered how you really liked dogs, but couldn't have one. So I asked Uchi about a seeing eye dog." He squatted down and scratched Artemis behind the ear. She whimpered into his touch and continued to tug towards Byakuya. "He suggested this girl, a hunting dog."

"Why a hunting dog?" Byakuya asked

"Well when Kurosaki-san came to me about a seeing eye dog," Uchi explained, "It gave me, if I do say so myself, a brilliant Idea. You see, I only breed hunting dogs. People in the upper districts will pay a pretty penny for a canine with high reiatsu that can be trained to use shunpo. Artemis here is a saluki, and they're some of the fasted dogs in the world already. I've spent years breeding specific saluki's to have superior levels of reiatsu. Artemis here is one of my finest. She's been trained in both shunpo and in the same echolocation skills I have thought you."

"Yes, but why would I need a hunting dog?" Byakuya questioned. "I do not hunt."

Uchi laughed in a knowing way. "Of course you do, Lord Kuchiki. What do you think you're doing when you fight an enemy?"

"I-" Byakuya faltered.

"Perhaps you wouldn't call it something so savage, but when you get down to it, that is what you're doing. Now," Uchi exalted, "as I said, when Kurosaki-san brought up a seeing eye dog, I thought that perhaps we could use a hunting dog to boost your thirty minute time limit."

Byakuya's eyes were canvassed in such a green that they looked similar to the crown of a mountain, rich with forestation. It betrayed his enduringly calm features. "How could you possibly teach a dog to use this echolocation technique?"

"Quite simply, actually. As I said, I've been training her for years. Nearly a decade, but what really pushed her to learn was, much like you and I, she herself is blind." Uchi gave the scientist at his side a pat on the shoulder. "I had Urahara make a specialized collar for Artemis. If you grasp it, the pendant will fill with your reiatsu. That way, when you're battling, she will have reservoirs of your reiatsu. Trained correctly, she can becoming an indispensable combat companion." Poking out his lips, Uchi put on a childish voice and said, "This is why you shouldn't be so nasty to those who try and help you."

Urahara chuckled and dipped his hat. "That's just how Bya-kun and me banter, Uchi-san."

"How does the reiatsu form an image in my mind if Artemis is the one expelling it?" Byakuya asked, much too intrigued to dignify the truncating of his name.

"With this!" Urahara said, and Byakuya felt him clasp something metal around his wrist. He pivoted his hand back and forth to gauge the weight and feel. It appeared to be a simple band. "It's a bracelet that acts as a sensor. I won't bore you with the technicalities, but it will link the images she takes in straight to you. It's especially helpful, because she can survey areas outside of your scope. You have you're own little four legged spy."

"Uchi even spent the last month conditioning her to relate your reiatsu to different commands and things that make her happy," Ichigo chimed in. "So you can't say no, because to her, you're her one true owner."

"Speaking of that, please release the hold on her, Kurosaki-san," Uchi said.

Ichigo cocked a brow in question before shrugging a shoulder. He then put down her leash, and the saluki instantly took off, bouncing from its hind legs and onto an unprepared Byakuya, making the noble fall flat on his back.

The novelty of seeing a bumbling Byakuya brought laughter out of all three men, but before the noble could respond with baneful reprimands, Artemis wiggled her little wet nose under his chin. The edges of Byakuya's face softened, and the most brilliant yellow bent the light around his eyes.

"Ah, and that's the real reason I came today," Urahara said.

Ichigo extended a hand in helpfulness, and Byakuya graciously accepted.

"To shorten the adjustment period, we exposed her to your reiatsu. This is why she's already so keen to you. Saluki's are a stubbornly independent breed, and they do not take easy to others," Uchi explained.

"Sound's like a certain noble we know," Urahara added, nudging his comrade playfully.

Byakuya tilted his head downwards towards the canine he could feel perched protectively at his side. He patted the top of her proudly lifted snout. "It feels unfair, receiving loyalty that I did not earn."

Uchi flipped a hand as if waving off something of little worth. "Canines are good judges of character. Artemis would've rejected your reiatsu if she did not accept you."

After considering, Byakuya said, "I see. I need a moment to speak with my fukutaichou." When neither Uchi not Urahara moved to leave, he added, "Alone."

Neither of the men said anything as they moved away, but Byakuya could practically feel varying degrees of smugly amused in their silent retreat.

To say he was bad at words was a misconception. Byakuya was known for his ability to use nuances and meticulously chosen statements to express his thoughts and feelings in a perfectly blanketed fashion, but when he turned towards Ichigo, he realized he didn't know what to say. What he wanted to convey was clear enough, but verbalizing those sentiments appropriately was more than a man like Byakuya thought himself capable of. No, Byakuya wasn't bad a finding the right words, he was bad at being purely earnest.

"What did you have to do for Uchi-san as payment for Artemis?" Byakuya asked.

"Not much, I just had to wash a few dogs in my spare time."

"Which you barely have these days."

"It really wasn't a big deal. It made you happy anyway."

Byakuya formed a mental image of Ichigo feigning nonchalance. He could all but see the lazy way he'd roll his shoulder and bare a bored face to downplay the heart behind his actions. It charmed the noble more than it probably should've.

 **"** Besides," Ichigo said, clearing his throat, "I wanted to thank you for all you've done for me." "All _I_ have done for _you_?"

 _'Shouldn't it be the other way around, Ichigo?'_

"Yeah, you've practically been supporting me since I've decided to stay here in Seireitei. It's...meant a lot, Byakuya. Really." Ichigo smiled at the way Byakuya's eyes oxidized in his sockets like two perched sun's burning at their peak. His happiness was brimming, creating an ethereal glow in the atmosphere around him.

Byakuya Kuchiki had been taught to suppress his emotions, so graciousness was only expressed with a stiffly delivered _'you have my gratitude,'_ but when he bit ever so lightly at the inside of his cheek, and his brow furrowed thoughtfully, it was obvious that those simple words weren't enough for the noble. For Ichigo, however, that said it all. He didn't need an elaborate display of Byakuya's appreciation when it was written all over his face.

Besides, from how Byakuya wore a just noticeable expression of disconcerted concentration, Ichigo could tell how deeply Byakuya was thinking on what to say, and his chest could barely take it. Byakuya's happiness was making Ichigo's heart wail like a tantrum-happy toddler. He squeezed Byakuya's shoulder and said, "You can thank me by keeping up with your training and getting stronger than ever." After a moment, he smirked and added, "And maybe by just calling me Ichigo."

The noble let out a deep sigh. He then nodded and put on the tiniest of smiles, and Ichigo had to wonder when his happiness started to correlate with Byakuya's, because that small twitch of the lips made him feel as bright as the yellow in Byakuya's eyes.

Byakuya kept his eyes steadily into the distance, but felt around for the top of Artemi's head when he felt her sniffling the fabric of his uniform for attention. "What does she look like, Ichigo?"

Ichigo ran an appraising glare up and down the sleek form of Artemis. Her shape was all smooth curves and sharp angles while her clipped coat was characterized by feathery raven sheen. Her snout was pointed proudly, and her eyes sat fix and consuming like two eclipses, only magnifying the intensity of her features. Most defining were her ears that flopped well below the chin. They looked like waves of luscious black ink dipped in a rustic red. She was truly a breed of unmatched symmetry and grace.

"Beautiful dog for a beautiful guy," Ichigo said, not at all registering the possible interpretations of his words before their unceremonious release.

The faintest red clung to Byakuya's cheeks, and the magenta in his eyes highlighted a bashfulness that most would be none the wiser to. Motionlessly, they stood like statues, eye's touching like magnets, and It almost felt as if Byakuya could really see him for just an instant.

Ichigo's hand drifted off of Byakuya's shoulder and down his arm, making mindless pit stops along the way, lingering by the elbow and loitering by the wrist before he ceased all contact. He was captured by a muting magic, adrift in their proximity. Only it was insufferable, because looking at Byakuya then and there felt like forgetting something important or trying to express memories that sat obscurely on his tongue. Words nor felicitous actions would form. The answer wouldn't come to him, but it wasn't until he was encapsulated by Byakuya's vicinity that he even realize there was a question to be asked.

He didn't even know what that question was, but whatever it's answer, it felt imposing, as if it could alter everything.

The sound of a throat clearing made Ichigo look up to see Uchi standing by himself amidst an opening of trees. "Dear Lord Kuchiki, would you mind making time for your other cohorts?"

Uchi's return made Ichigo realize the heat that met his ears and the sudden dehydration that sat heavy in his mouth. "I was about to head back anyway. I'll see you later, Byakuya."

Byakuya gave a hesitant nod and said, "Very well." Once Ichigo shunpo away, Byakuya waited for Uchi to speak. When the typically loquacious man said nothing, the noble asked, "And what is it I can do for you?"

"I just thought a man as tactful as yourself would want to thank me for Artemis before I leave. It is only good manners," Uchi said as he leaned against a tree and loosely crossed his arms.

Byakuya regarded a needy Artemis who kept nipping at his fingertips with a forced sigh. "Perhaps you have made her too keen to me. She will need training indeed."

"But Lord Kuchiki," Uchi said, smirking cunningly, "Artemis would be able to sense your displeasure and respond to it accordingly. That is, if there was truly any displeasure being had. Methinks thou doth protest too much."

"Are you here for my gratitudes or to run Shakespeare through a wood chipper?" Byakuya asked, making Uchi chuckle and forgo his spot against the tree.

"Ah, I will miss that derisive wit of yours, my dear protégée."

"Miss?" Byakuya chewed at his lip in contemplation. "Are you on your way then?"

"I'm afraid so," Uchi said with a wistful sigh, "I have taught you _almost_ everything. The rest is up to you and your resolve." There was a moment of apprehensive silence followed by another chuckle from Uchi. "Do not be so disheartened. There is nothing else you need me for."

Byakuya closed his eyes briefly and then bowed in the direction of the man. "Then I am grateful for your tutelage, Uchi-san."

Uchi sauntered over to the noble and gingerly took the man's hand in his own. Dipping his head with the elegance of a steed, Uchi said, "The pleasure was mine," before pressing a chase kiss atop Byakuya's knuckles. He inclined his head, allowing his lips to hover above the noble's hand as he said offhandedly, "When delving into the essence of someone's reiatsu, how well it taste can be an indicator of either how close you are with said person or the harmony that exists between both yours and the other individual's reatsu. In this regard, chemistry proceeds attraction, not vise versa. Being the intelligent man that you are, you must've noticed this correlation, yes?"

Byakuya stiffened as his hand slipped from Uchi's. "Yes, I suppose this is true."

"May I ask who's reiatsu you found the most pleasing to your pallet? And before you question why I inquire, I please ask you to humor me once more for old times sake."

Over the course of his time with Uchi, Byakuya had learned that there was usually a benefit to indulging the man's strange ways. So he found himself bluntly stating, "That would be Rukia."

Uchi made a considering noise that Byakuya took for the trouble it was. Like Ichigo, he always expected more from the noble than most anyone else would dare push for. His complete lack of intimidation towards Byakuya, as troublesome as it was for the noble at times, was something he'd admittedly miss.

"I must say that I'm surprised. I would've thought it to be someone you share a more intimate relationship with. Of course, I'm sure that you care for Lady Kuchiki deeply, but from what I have learned about you over the past couple of months, I have serious doubts that you share much of your personal ongoings with her."

Byakuya closed his eyes and released a fretful sigh. "If you are referencing my fukutaichou, I would never be so bold as to invade the essence of my second in command."

Uchi's lips vibrated speculatively, and Byakuya could sense the wryness in their reverberation. "I merely put a blank space in your head, Lord Kuchiki, but you were the one who filled it in. Interesting." Byakuya faltered, and Uchi, the opportunist he was, took the chance to continue without strife. "What is more interesting is how you were willing to intrude upon the reiatsu of others, but not the reiatsu of the person you're arguably the closest with." He stepped closer and inhaled deeply through the nose, as if attempting to smell the truth in Byakuya's aroma. "Perhaps that is the problem, that you fear how potentially delightful Kurosaki-san reiatsu would be in your mouth. Perhaps you fear that, with just one taste, you would be hooked."

The noble turned away from Uchi rapidly, showing his immediate descent. "This is pointless speculation. What is it that you gain from this line of questioning?"

"I?" He asked, gesturing to himself. "Nothing. I only hope to bestow upon you my final lesson through such a question, and it is only by answering it that you can reap this last bit of wisdom." Uchi stepped back towards the opening and placed a hand above his heart in an act of sincerity. "But as I said, you need only your own resolve to find growth from here on out. I truly do hope we meet again soon, Lord Kuchiki. Perhaps when we do, you will have figured out your answer."

…

 **Up Next: Byakuya's secret fear, birthdays, and confrontation.**

 **xXx**

 **Engkantada1905: Hey love! Thank you for taking the time to review. I really love stories and shows inspired by politics. In fact, I took inspiration from the real world when writing this story by trying to imagine what would happen in my country if something like the Quincy war occurred. Since it has, I knew Xenophobia, a huge mixture of hope and pain, and a reworking of political systems was the most realistic unfolding of events. I'm glad I found a good balance in this story between their love and the politics. I was worried about that.**

 **Secret Companion: I've definitely considered it. The problem is finding a way to incorporate in into the story. Thanks for the review!**

 **Tifanny91: Ah, I see you have spotted my foreshadowing! Now we must wait to see how this comes into play. Uchi has been such a fun OC to write for. Sadly he left in this chapter, but not before planting a seed in our favorite nobles head. Hopefully I'll bring him back at some point. Hmm, well, as for Byakuya seeing again, I'm unsure. I'm one of those people who believes that fixing his problem will undermine the lessons he learned and the overall theme of the story, but that doesn't mean he'll never see at all. He does share soul lock with Ichigo.**

 **Jazzybella: Long time no see, love! It's nice to see your comments on my stories once more. You're words are truly flattering, but it's all Byakuya and Ichigo. They're the perfect muses, and this stuff sort've writes it's self. Hope to hear from you soon!**

 **LustfulAvarices: Hey love! Don't I know it. I'm totally swamped. In fact, I'm writing this even though I work twelve hours tomorrow and should be in bed. These two are getting closer, and fortunately, things between them will begin to heat up sooner than later.**


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hey guys, so I swear that the pacing will start to pick up with the next chapter. I can't say how necessary this chapter was, but I love it anyway. If life doesn't eat me alive, I'll see you soon.

 **Terms to know**

Shitagi: White undershirt of a soul reaper uniform.

Burberry: Bluebells

Nibantai: Second divison

Otousan: Dad

Ojjisan: Granddad

Juigokucho: Hell Butterfly.

 **Song: "River in your mouth" by Ben Howard.**

Good vibes. ~ Ashes.

 **The Changes We Are too Blind to See.**

 **xXx**

" **And you showed me hope amongst the hellequins in spring.**

 **And you told me life was learning how to be your friend."**

"Byakuya, have you heard?" Ichigo asked as he came barreling into the noble's office. Byakuya immediately took to standing, and his eyes grew smaller at the frantic entrance of his second in command. "Jūshirō, he woke up from his coma!"

The noble sighed softly while preening a few wrinkles from his uniform. He then sat down and went back to his paperwork.

Ichigo tilted his head at the nobleman. He was silently feeling for the creased signature line with one hand and brandishing a pen with the other. "Byakuya?"

"Yes," the noble said shortly, keeping his head dipped and eyes shadowed, "I have heard."

"Well I figured we could go visit him. I know he was your senpai, so I thought you'd be, I don't know, more eager."

The noble sighed again and continued with his work. "I have no such intentions."

"What the hell!? Why not?"

Nothing.

"Hey, I'm talking to you here."

Complete static.

Ichigo walked over to Byakuya's desk in a few agitated movements and slammed his palm down on the paper work. "Look at me," Ichigo said through gritted teeth, causing Artemis to stand to attention, her disposition unusually hostile as she bared her teeth.

"Remove your hands from my personal space. Now."

"Not until you can look up at me and tell me why you won't go see Jūshirō."

"I can not _look_ at you, if you do not recall."

Ichigo leaned in deeper until there was nothing but hot air and frustration in between them. "I want to see your eyes," he whispered.

Byakuya's grip on his pen tightened before he stood and swiftly moved away. His back taunted towards Ichigo. "Just because I wear my emotions in my eyes does not give you the right to analysis them. More so, I have no obligations to explain myself to you. Now, leave here," he said, his voice holding a threat in every tightly wound syllable.

"Wow," Ichigo said, running fingers through his hair compulsively, "I thought we were past this. So what, every time someone questions you or says something you don't like you're going to push them away with intimidation?" He scoffed. "And you call me the brat." Ichigo noted how Byakuya's stature tighten at the comment, but still, his goading prompted nothing but more silence. "From what you told me, Jūshirō means a lot to you, and when you care for someone, you're suppose to be there for them! I just don't get you sometimes…" For a moment, Ichigo stood in hopeful frustration, wishing the noble would offer some explanation, some insight on his current callousness. When nothing came, Ichigo said, "Whatever, I'm going to go visit him." As he slid open the paper door and stood in the arch way, Ichigo looked over his shoulder and said, "You know, I really expected more from you."

Byakuya flinched at the sound of the door slamming, and in his isolation, he allowed his shoulders to slump in dejection. He felt wet puppy kisses against his fingertips and the soft whimpers of Artemis.

' _From what you told me, Jūshirō means a lot to you, and when you care for someone, you're suppose to be there for them!'_

"You care for me," Byakuya said as he rubbed the top of Artemis's head, "Is that why you comfort me even when I do not deserve it?"

xXx

Upon entering Jūshirō's room, Ichigo blushed at the sight of him and Kyoraku exchanging gentle butterfly kisses.

"Uh, is now a bad time?" Ichigo asked, fish hooking the collar of shitagi to let some air hit his flushed chest. The two men looked up at him, Jūshirō with joy pulling at the sparse wrinkles of his eyes and Kyoraku with a playful grin.

Kyoraku, who was sitting on the corner of the hospital bed, placed a hand on the shoulder of the crescent haired man. "I think we may have scared him." He stood and turned towards a scowling Ichigo. "Have you never seen two people kiss?"

"No! I mean, yeah. Jus-uh just not..." Ichigo stopped his stupefied stammering and held out a box. Softly, he said, "I brought you a bento, Jūshirō."

The elders exchanged looks and shared a chuckle. Then Jūshirō said, "Thank you, Ichigo-kun. Would you like to sit for a while?"

"Sure," Ichigo managed as he walked over to the bedside chair and sat down.

"I'm going to see if I can wrangle us up some tea," Kyoraku said right before he leaned down and planted a kiss atop Jūshirō's head.

The crescent haired man smiled warmly, his eyes following his lover out the door and lingering there for a moment once he was out of sight. When he looked back at Ichigo, he saw a faint blush was still on the young man's cheeks. "Does that bother you, seeing two men together like that?" He asked with seemingly little to no judgment in his voice.

"What?! No," Ichigo said, his eyes widening and his hands waving clumsily in front of his face.

Jūshirō covered a soft laugh with the tips of his thin, sickly fingers, and Ichigo thought it was amazing how he could seem so lively despite his gaunt features. "I am aware that homosexual relationships are... taboo in The World of the Living, especially in the region you are from."

Ichigo rubbed the back of his head in thought before shrugging a shoulder. "I guess so, yeah. I don't really think about that stuff. If it makes you happy, I can't see how it's wrong. I was just... surprised. I knew you two were close, just not _that_ close," he said, a sheepish smile lighting up his expression.

"I suppose that makes sense." He laughed wistfully and looked out the door once more. "It is funny, sometimes I don't think we even know how we came to be. We were never what you'd call gay men, but after years of trials and hardships, I think we just knew there was no one else. We didn't even have an official discussion about it. One day we were drinking tea as we'd done a thousand times before, and as we parted ways, we kissed goodbye. Now here we are."

There was distant gleam in Jūshirō eyes, nostalgic, as if staring at the past playing out in front of him. His temperament was one of peaceful longing, and he wore a tiny smile that seemed almost accidental. It made Ichigo wear his own little smile. "Oh, look at me," Jūshirō said, folding his hands gracefully against the cotton duvet, "You probably don't want to hear about all this sentimental stuff. I apologize."

"No," Ichigo said almost breathlessly, "It's nice..." And it was. He wasn't sure why, but to see an expression of enduring love made Ichigo feel lighter. It stood it stark contrast to all the death that weighed down the air around them.

After settling down from the unexpected entrance, a soft blue invaded Ichigo's scope of vision, making Ichigo turn his head and stare oddly at an arrangement of burūberu situated on a night stand to his side. He recalled Byakuya telling him they symbolized gratitude.

"They're beautiful," Jūshirō said, his gaze following Ichigo's. "Of course, they were given to me by the best gardener in all of Soul Society."

"They reminded me of the ones in Byakuya's garden."

"Well that's probably because that is who they're from," he said, smiling at the flowers. "Bya-kun knows they're my favorite." He turned a coy smirk towards Ichigo. "Please let it stay our little secret that Shunsui and I still refer to him as such. I can imagine him being sour to know that we truncate his name."

Ichigo gripped his knees tightly and dipped his head. "When you say give, you mean delivered, right?" When he lifted his head, Jūshirō was giving him a prompting look. "He had an attendant bring them, because he hasn't came himself."

"Yes, you would be right about that." Ichigo scowled and pushed harder against his knees.

"I'm sorry about that. He should really be here himself, but I mean, he's not a bad guy, but some-" Ichigo cut himself off at the sound of strained laughter hitting his ears.

"Excuse me, Ichigo-kun, you just sounded very similar to me when I defend Shunsui for the obscene things he does while drunk. Which," he pointed a finger and hummed in amusement, "mind you, is rather often."

Ichigo tutted and folded his arms. "I'm not defending that bastard. Like I said, he should be here."

The smile on Jūshirō's face turned sympathetic, and he overlapped his hand with Ichigo's fisted one. "Try to be understanding of him. He's a good man."

"I know! That's why I don't understand," Ichigo said, letting his arms rise and fall in flustered vexation.

Jūshirō observed him with marginally wider eyes before he asked, "This really bothers you, doesn't it?"

"No, it's just-" Ichigo faltered, craned his head back, and ran a hand over his face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be bothering you with this. How are you doing?"

"I am fine," Jūshirō said, "and you are not bothering me. In fact, It puts me in good spirits to talk about this and perhaps offer you guidance." He paused for a moment and then said, "Bya-kun, he's lost a great amount of people in his life, many prematurely. They would be around long enough for him to form an attachment and then they would die much too young. By being distant, he thinks he is protecting himself."

"I can understand that, but you're fine now! It's not like he can be that way towards everyone just because they'll one day die."

Jūshirō's smile slowly morphed into a small, regretful frown, and Ichigo could somehow read in between the lines of his ashen expression.

"Oh..." he muttered, "You're not fine?"

"I am awake and stable," Jūshirō said with a sigh, "but what was keeping me healthy was removed during the war." He paused and looked down to his hands as they twisted at the fabric on his lap. "It could be a month, a year, perhaps a bit longer. I am not sure, however, my death is inevitable."

A lump of sorrow formed in Ichigo's throat and dropped rapidly to his gut, and he cursed how his eyes grew misty and mediocre. Even after all this time, the war was still taking things from them.

"He knows this, and that is why he stays away. It is as a means of protecting himself."

"But doesn't that make you mad? It's not about him. You're the one who's dying. He should get over it!"

Jūshirō sighed and shook his head. "No, it makes me sad. Not for me, but for him." He looked meaningfully into Ichigo's eyes and explained, "He fears warmth more than any man I know, so he shrouds himself in coldness. It's a pity, because he's truthfully one of the warmest people I've ever met. Much like his otousan..." His eyes went from Ichigo's and back to the flowers. He smiled at the pretty, little petals, so meticulously cared for. "You see, he stays away not because he doesn't care, but simply because he cares too much, and that is frightening for a person like him. Much like when he asked me to place Rukia in my squad and hold back her advancement. From the way their eyes never met, you would think he didn't care, but he always thought of her well being."

"Was he thinking of her well being when he did nothing to stop her execution?" Ichigo snipped, immediately feeling guilty at the way he brought up something the two had seemingly moved past.

"I can only make an educated assumptions about his state of mind at the time, but I believe he'd long ago given up hope that anyone he loved would be savable by his own hands. Add that to the promise he made to his parents, and his lapse in judgment... well, it was understandable." He looked back at Ichigo and noted the way his eyebrows netted so intensely that they almost touched. He wore his conflict in his eyes. "We all cope with loss in our own distinct ways. Bya-kun is vigilantly distant and Shunsui drinks exorbitantly. I'm not saying this is a healthy method, but I think if we look at our own selves, we will see our own imperfections that we, too, have yet to overcome. Try to show him compassion, Ichigo-kun, and not harbor anger towards him. His apparent heartlessness is truly just the remnants of a man who once cared and loved with every fiber of himself."

Ichigo let loose a troubled sigh and nodded in reluctant understanding.

"Well be a little angry at him."

The two men looked up to see Kyoraku standing in the doorway with a cup of tea in each hand. He walked over and handed one to both Ichigo and Jūshirō. As he did so, he said, "I think you bring out the best in our lil Bya-kun. He needs someone around who will call him out when he's being too stubborn."

"So you mean all of the time?" Ichigo said, muttering against the rim of his tea cup.

Kyoraku laughed and slapped the man on the shoulder. "You have the right idea."

Ichigo's eyes cut back over to Jūshirō. They were dewy and all telling. "Jūshirō, I'm sorry... I..." He didn't know what to say. No words made sense or meant much in a moment like this.

"Ichigo-kun," Jūshirō said, sitting his tea cup on the stand beside him. "I will not ask you not to be sad, because that would be selfish of me, but I do ask you to not apologize. It is not me who I worry for." He looked dearly at the sad smile of his lifetime partner. "It is the ones I will leave behind that I worry about."

A heavy hush hovered between the three men, only to be abolished by the boisterous entrance of Yoruichi and Urahara. Noting the air instantly, Yoruichi asked, "What are you guys talking about?"

The Captain Commander turned, his typical smirk back in place. "We were talking about Byakuya-san, actually."

"Ah, no wonder it's so depressing in here," Yoruichi said, earning a laugh from Urahara and a scathing brow lift from Jūshirō. "I was just messing around," she said, mindlessly walking about the room, fiddling with different odds and ends. "You know I love teasing our lil' Bya-kun."

"It is her favorite pass time," Urahara offered before scratching at his scruff in contemplation. "Well, that and stripping."

"Sometimes both at the same time," The Captain Commander said, earning a tiny, pained chuckle from his lover.

"That reminds me," Yoruichi said, "I need to visit my favorite frowning prince. It's been awhile."

"I'm sure he'd like that," Ichigo said, rolling his eyes.

"Of course he will! Bya-kun loves when I visit, no matter what he says."

Ichigo snorted. _"Sure."_

"It's true," Jūshirō said, "Even when he was much younger, he'd fuss about Yoruichi-san's teasing, but if a week went by without her visiting him, he'd be at the Nibantai waving his sword around until she agreed to train with him."

Ichigo's eyes rounded, and he said, "That doesn't sound like Byakuya at all."

"Byakuya-san was different as a tyke," Kyoraku said, pinching the corner of his hat thoughtfully. "Actually, he was kind've like you, Kurosaki-san. If he wanted something, nothing would stand in his way."

"He was a fiery one."

"And let's not forget petulant."

"Sometimes I'm not sure who he took after more," Jūshirō said, smiling slightly, "his otousan or his ojiisan. Like both of them, he had a kind and generous soul, but like Ginrei, he presents himself in an aloof and severe manner. At his core, I think he's more like Sōjun, with his love for the arts and his subtle quirkiness. He certainly inherited Sōjun's more romantic heart."

Urahara let loose a reminiscent laugh and said, "You would know, wouldn't you? He had such a crush on you as a child. It was always senpai this, senpai that."

Jūshirō deterred the comment with a graceful wafting of the hand. "That was just a schoolboy infatuation." He looked at Ichigo and said, "One day you should ask him about how he courted Hisana. Now that was truly an act of pure love." His nose crinkled a bit and his shadow dripped eyes gleamed with a liveliness. "I am glad you two have formed a friendship of sorts. You know, your otousan's were friends."

Ichigo perked an eyebrow in question. "Really?"

"Yes. Your otousan would even call him Kuchiki-kun," he said, a melting sigh ever present in his voice.

As the chatter continued, Ichigo got up to excuse himself, now feeling an instinctual need to talk with Byakuya after gaining some insight on the man's earlier behavior. He wasn't exactly sure what he'd say, but he knew it needed to be voiced.

When he told Jūshirō he needed to handle something and that he'd return later, the man had a knowing twinkle in his eyes and nodded Ichigo off. Ichigo was all but a few steps out the door when his eyes caught sight of a familiar form coming towards him.

"Byakuya…" he said, gaping at the man who walked with a loyal Artemis by his side.

The noble stopped in front of him, his eyes burning orange with determination. Artemis pawed happily at Ichigo's feet. "Ichigo," he greeted.

"You came…"

"Of course, I did," Byakuya said. "That is what you do for the one's you care for, yes?"

Ichigo didn't respond. Instead his lip's flickered mirthfully, and he placed a leading hand on the noble's forearm as they headed towards the room. When they entered, everyone went silent, but Byakuya paid no mind to the attention bearing down on him. He walked to Jūshirō's bedside and sat where Ichigo once did. He could tell the elder man was smiling at him.

"Senpai," he greeted softly, "it is nice to see you."

 **xXx**

What Ichigo said to Uchi was true, when deciding between staying in Soul Society and returning to The World of the Living, there was no right choice. There were only consequences.

It's true that perhaps Ichigo was running from something, running from what life could've potentially been like post war, running from facing questions and forcing smiles. But wasn't that normal? No matter which path you take in life, you're always both simultaneously running towards and away from something. It was an inevitable truth that no one could escape. Likewise, if he had chosen to go home, he would've been running from memories of the war and the greif it gifted him while trying to gain some semblance of a normal life. Ichigo was mature enough to face the consequence of the choices he made and no where near miserable enough to reconsider. However, some days were harder handled than others.

Today was Ichigo's eighteenth birthday, and though he'd liked to say he forgotten all about it, that would be a lie. What made him lonelier than he'd like to admit was that none of his friends or family had contacted him about coming here or him going there to celebrate the day, and considering this was the first milestone away from his family, he couldn't help but to feel awfully forgotten. Byakuya had given him the day off, but since the noble said nothing about his birthday, Ichigo figured it to be a coincidence.

Sure, he could go visit The World of the Living, but Ichigo didn't want to show up last minute or make them feel bad if they did forget. So as he sat and ate breakfast, Ichigo considered what he'd do with his day off.

As he lifted a fork full of eggs to his mouth, Ichigo felt the presence of several familiar pressures that made his head perk. He immediately dropped his utensil and shunpo towards the Kuchiki family senkaimon. His eyes gaped at the sight. Coming through was his family, including his sisters and dad, and behind them were a few of his friends, Chad, Orihime, and Ishida. All were carrying gifts and wearing varying degrees of excited.

Rukia flashed beside Ichigo, and she turned towards him with a small smile. "Happy birthday, Ichigo!"

"Uh...thanks..." he said, shifting his eyes back and forth between the approaching group and Rukia. "Whats going on. N-"

He easily sidestepped a flying kick aimed towards his head with a look of disinterest.

"My boy! I see you haven't lost your touch!"

"Dad, you're so annoying. Can you behave for once!?" Karin asked, and Ichigo turned to address his sisters with a smile.

"I see pops is as crazy as ever."

Yuzu ran towards him with arms wide, a gesture Ichigo gladly met. He hugged the girl and spun her around.

"Ichi-Nii," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Yuzu," Ichigo said, sitting the girl down.

"He is as crazy as ever," Karin said, frowning at her brother. "And you left us with _that_." Despite her incredulous glare, she slung her arms around Ichigo lazily.

Ichigo wrapped his arms around her tightly, and said, "I'm sorry, kid... I don't understand," his eyes flickered towards his friends, "why are you guys here?"

"What do you think?" Uryu asked, shaking his gift.

"You know what I mean! No one told me you were coming, so I didn't think anyone made any plans to visit."

Uryu tutted and asked, "You didn't think we'd forget your birthday, did you, Kurosaki?"

"Yeah, Ichigo," Chad agreed, "We couldn't forget something like that."

Ichigo rubbed at the back of his head and donned a scowl, hiding a coy expression. "Yeah, obviously."

"Tutsyumi wanted to come," Orihime chimed in, "but she was too busy at the dojo. She told me to tell you something, but," she lowered her voice, "it was bit too vulgar for me to repeat in present company."

Ichigo winced. "Yeah, I can probably figure it out."

"Ishida-san came back home and we all went to buy presents!" She said, holding her gift up and showing off the robot themed wrapping paper. "I wanted to make you a cake but..." she put on a demure smile, "Chad convinced me not to."

"Oh, well you shouldn't go through all that trouble anyway," Ichigo said before looking towards Chad and discreetly mouthing the words 'thank you'. Chad simply nodded in understanding.

"But, still, why didn't you guys tell me? I can't exactly just invite you all into Byakuya's house without asking him."

"How do you think they got through the family senkaimon?" Rukia asked. "It was me who told Nii-sama of your birthday and mentioned that I wanted to do something, but it was him who allowed everyone to come here for the evening.

Ichigo cocked a brow, and Isshin said, "Kuchiki Taichou sent me a Jigokuchō about a month ago inviting us to come here and stay for the day. He even sent an attendant to pick up some overnight bags so we wouldn't have to worry about taking the trip back too late. I told him I wanted it to be a surprise, so I guess he didn't tell you."

"He did that?" Ichigo asked, his whisky hued eyes churning as he thought back to earlier.

' _ **Why are you giving me the day off?'**_

 _ **'I am tired of your constant presence**_ _.'_

"Yep. He's nicer than I remembered him being. I was surprised."

Ichigo wasn't. He expected nothing of the noble's scheming, but standing amidst such a pleasant present, Ichigo felt amused at how much of a Byakuya type gesture this was. Subtle, discreet, yet ridiculously thoughtful, this reeked of the noble. Ichigo's heart sang, and he wore a rare smile.

"It's good to see you all," he said right as Fujita came to stand at his side, wearing an appraising glare that she hid behind a stiff smile. "Everybody, this is Fujita-san. Fujita-san, this is everybody."

"As always, your manners are horrendous." The attendant rolled her eyes before bowing towards the group. "I'm sure I'll get to know you all before the day is over. If you'll please follow me, I'll take you to your guest rooms. Lord Kuchiki's chef's are preparing lunch, but until then, feel free to settle in and explore at your leisure," Fujita said as she turned to guide them.

Ichigo walked beside the woman, matching her purposeful strides. "Hey, where's Byakuya?" He asked in a whisper.

She sent him an aslant glare, humor lighting up her dull baby blues. "Where he always is."

"Working himself to death," Ichigo assessed, and Fujita concurred with a nod. "I wanted to thank him for this."

She hummed knowingly. "I believe you know what he'll say to that."

Ichigo tutted and said, "Yeah, something stupid about how it was nothing."

"Well, technically, for him, a gesture like this is of little significance."

"It's the thought," Ichigo said as they walked into the mansion. "Come on, you know him better than I do. Inviting my friends and family here for my birthday isn't something he'd just do freely or without meaning."

She gave the man a sideways smirk. "You do know him well, Kurosaki-san."

"Hey, why all secretive?" Isshin asked, slinging an arm around his son.

"Mind your own business, old man!"

 **xXx**

At the sound of his door sliding open, Byakuya lifted his head and allowed his pen to hover over the paperwork situated in front of him.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to relax some."

Byakuya shifted, feeling the strangest sense of anticipation at the sound of Ichigo's voice. Why did he never know what face to put on around this man? Why did he alway leave Byakuya feeling both restless and calm? Around Ichigo, he felt a severe sense of uncertainty, but in the best way possible.

He feigned busy, turning his pen back towards the paper. Although it was clear Ichigo had his full attention. "I find the act of doing paper work soothing."

"Ah, I forgot," Ichigo said, and Byakuya could hear his feet moving closer, "you find some sick amusement in burying yourself under work."

"I suppose it could be said that I have a twisted sense of entertainment. I do spend my time around you."

Ichigo came to stand beside him, leaning against his desk. Byakuya could feel a smirk radiant in his silence. "Thank you," Ichigo said softly, "That was a… a really nice thing you did for me, Byakuya."

"I have no clue what you speak of."

"You're saying you had nothing to do with my friends and family showing up today?" Ichigo asked, giving an expectant click of the tongue.

"That sounds completely out of character for me. Perhaps this was Rukia's doing," Byakuya said monotonously, though his twitching lips gave him away.

"Right, well, why don't you take a break from your sadistic hobby and come eat lunch with us?"

"I have much work that needs attending," Byakuya said, waving the man off.

"You have to eat anyway."

"Perhaps, but I can do so without intruding on your time with your friends and family."

"You're not intruding," Ichigo asserted. When Byakuya said nothing, he leaned in closer, close enough for his warm, ginger scented breath to flush Byakuya's cheek. "I want you there, and you know I have a knack for getting what I want."

The noble inclined his head slightly, his lips going numb at the direct sensation of Ichigo's penetrating breaths. "Besides," Ichigo added, "since you forgot my birthday, you can consider it your present to me."

Byakuya smirked openly at Ichigo's cheekiness, and he couldn't help but to imagine what face Ichigo was wearing. Would it match the sly inclination of his voice? He hopped so.

"Will agreeing get you out of my office quicker?"

"It's pretty much the only way I'm leaving, so you better go ahead and give in."

Byakuya stood with a sigh and proceeded to unfold the walking cane that sat upon his desk. After commanding Artemis to stay, he asked, "Who am I to oppose that Kurosaki audacity?" As he maneuvered around the desk, the noble whacked Ichigo's shin with the base of his cane, and Ichigo yelped suddenly as a result.

"What the hell, Byakuya!? You did that on purpose!"

The noble sniffed haughtily as he continued forward with his graceful ambling. "I would never. Such tactless actions are unbecoming of nobility."

"Like hell!"

The two entered the Kuchiki estate's sumptuous dining area, and Ichigo pretended not to notice how everyone's eyes took more notice of them than each other.

Knowing the noble was about as inclined to social interactions as he was to days spent at the eleventh division, Ichigo sat in between Byakuya and Yuzu, feeling it unfair to abandon his friend in a potentially awkward bout of small talk.

Yuzu tugged at his sleeve with a faint blush bringing her nose. She cupped her tiny hands around his ear and whispered, "Ichi-Nii, is he really a prince? He's so dashing!"

Ichigo chuckled and whispered back, "Don't tell him that. His head's already big enough as it is."

Clearing her throat, Yuzu lifted her chin with as much confidence as she could muster while speaking in such a mousy voice. "Kuchiki-sama," she said, "Thank you for allowing us to come here and spend time in your beautiful home!"

Byakuya smiled subtly and nodded towards the girl as attendants began to bring out their meals. "It is my honor, Lady Kurosaki."

Yuzu was practically drowning in her own drool and dreamy sighs, making Ichigo tut in amusement. And this guy wondered why women swooned over him.

"I'm happy to know my Ichi-Nii has such good friends looking out for him while he's here," she added.

"Yeah," Karin, who sat on the opposite side of Byakuya, said, "Especially because I know Ichi-Nii is probably a horrible house guest."

"You would be correct," Byakuya said.

Ichigo scowled. "Hey!"

"Nonetheless, it has been my pleasure."

The two girls began chattering ceaselessly, throwing question after question at the noble in between bites of their meal. Although Byakuya didn't seem to mind in the least. Not that it surprised Ichigo. The noble did have a patience with children that superseded his tolerance of adults.

While Byakuya conversed with the two youngest Kurosaki's, Ichigo made frivolous conversation with his friends who sat across from him, and for a while, their meal flowed as such. It was lighthearted and just what Ichigo needed, easing away the pressure of post-war politics and pestering thoughts. It made him feel human. It made him feel eighteen. That was a part of himself he tended to forget existed.

Ichigo looked towards Byakuya with a faint smile. He never forgot.

After their main dish was finished, the attendants brought out a pastry smothered in chili spiced dark chocolate ganache, and if Ichigo was a different man, he would've openly crooned at the ambrosial flavor smothering his tongue.

Swallowing down a bite, once everyone's attention had left him, he looked over to Byakuya and asked, "You're not going to have any?"

"You know I do not eat sweets."

"Yeah," he said, practically sucking the chocolate off his spoon, "but I also know you like them."

"They are unhealthy."

Ichigo scoffed and asked, "What, are you afraid it'll ruin your figure? It's one piece."

"I find it better to avoid the path of temptation," Byakuya explained.

Ichigo's jaws went slack and he looked at the noble dumbly. "It's cake, Byakuya." He took another bite. "Don't be so melodramatic."

Byakuya netted his brow in disgust. "Do not speak with your mouth full. What pack of wolves did you originate from?"

"The kind that enjoys chocolate," Ichigo teased, nudging his plate closer to the noble "Here, you can share mine."

"Why are my eating habits of such a concern to you?"

Ichigo shrugged a shoulder. "I just don't like people denying themselves obsessively."

"I think you enjoy making me do things I would find otherwise unsightly." Byakuya cocked an eyebrow. "And you say my preferred activities are twisted."

Ichigo arched his body closer to the noble, once again invading the man's breathing space. "Yeah, well, I think you enjoy it too," Ichigo said, a tantalizing smirk playing at his voice.

Byakuya sighed and picked up his spoon. "You are truly exasperating," he said before taking a bite of the pastry.

"Maybe, but I got you to eat the cake, didn't I?"

The noble's eyes glittered with gold, and a smudge of chocolate dripped onto his lips, teasing something in Ichigo. He felt compelled to lean in and swipe it off, and he had to clench his hand when he realized it's reflexive yet inappropriate desire.

Something about Byakuya pulled him unwittingly, and his body unconsciously carved contact, always instigating touches. He wanted to be just a bit closer, just another inch, and although he couldn't place a name to this sensation, it could be felt in the way their mutual tactility tangoed on a tightrope of deeper temptation. The way his body bent towards Byakuya, the way his fingers flickered in anticipation, or how he'd naturally negate the space between them by a mere brush of the shoulders or a forceful grip of the forearm, it all seemed so innocent, unnoticed, but there were times, times like now, where his body betrayed the boundaries of such thoughtless touches and reached out for something _more._ These were the times Ichigo couldn't ignore, but they were also the times he refused to dwell on.

The noble nipped lightly at his bottom lip with his upper, sucking away the chocolate that stained him, and Ichigo found himself mimicking the gesture, feeling a feathery heat induced by the sight. "True, but everything comes with a price, Ichigo. Tomorrow we will add an extra hour onto our training." His eyes were wickedly golden. "I _will_ make you sweat for this."

Ichigo ignored the way this heat made his kneecaps throb, and he forced a scowl. "I was right, you are twisted."

"I hope this was worth it."

"I regret nothing."

So caught up they were, the two didn't seem to notice when conversations around them became fainter, less involved, or when their own behavior became the subject of curious eyes.

After dinner, Ichigo found his way to the bathroom. On his way back, he was met by the sight of Rukia in waiting, and he couldn't quite place her expression. That worried him.

"Rukia, what's up?"

The girls features curdled, and she squinted one eye at him while tapping her foot against the bamboo flooring. Oh yeah, something was definitely not right. She'd never given him that look before. "When you first decided to stay here and help Nii-sama, I never questioned it," she began, "Even if it didn't make sense to other people, I knew you, and it made sense to me. It's natural for you to help someone in need, and at the time, I knew it was probably hard to imagine going back to The World of the Living. Nii-sama needed help, and you needed someone to help, so even though you two were never close, It made sense."

Ichigo's eyes pinched, and he shifted in his spot. "Okay…"

"But this, whatever's going on between you and Nii-sama, it doesn't make sense."

"What do you mean by whatever's going on?"

She shook her head in disappointment, and her crossed arms hung heavily. "Don't play dumb, Ichigo. I know you well enough to know how you are with your friends, and even if you're not all that different with Nii-sama, the subtitles are pretty clear." She sighed and directed a loaded stare towards her brother's office. "Nii-sama too, I've never seen him that affected by someone. What's going on with you two?"

Ichigo grimaced in agitation. Why did he have to explain his relationship with Byakuya? Why was it anyone else's business? "Nothing, we're just friends. Is there a problem with that?"

"Just friends?" She echoed, giving a mocking laugh. "You two seem pretty close for just friends. Honestly, I'm surprised I haven't noticed it before."

Ichigo raked a hand through the spikes of his dipped head, his eyes roaming for clarity. "Look," he said, meeting the woman's eyes, feeling feebly resolute, "after the war, Byakuya and I were both going through some stuff. I realized that we had more in common than I thought, and we were there for each other." He paused, gathering his words. "I was able to come to him with stuff that I didn't feel comfortable talking to other people about. I don't know exactly how it happened, but yeah, we grew close. Maybe closer than we allowed ourselves to get with others, but that doesn't mean there's anything else between us. Honestly, Rukia, you're seeing stuff that isn't there."

Her eyes tapered like tiny bullets, and they dug in, twisting and turning until they reached the truth. "And even if we were more, which were not, why would it matter to you?"

"Because," she explained with an intent posture, "like I said, when Nii-sama is around you, I can see the difference in the way he moves. If there was something going on, It's my duty as his sister to tell you what could happen if you were shortsighted with his emotions. He is a good man, and it would be wise of you to handle his heart with careful hands."

There was an implied warning in the way she paused between her words and in how her voice was as frigid as her bankai. Ichigo found himself flinching at her fortitude. "Well, luckily there's nothing going on between us, like I've said for the dozenth time now."

Her disposition unraveled into something more comfortable, but the smirk that emerged afterwards was just as concerning. "Well, that's good. Nii-sama will have to marry and have an heir soon as it is. So it would've been troublesome if you two had developed feelings for each other."

Ichigo blinked a few times as if processing the words incorrectly. "What?!" he all but screamed, but Rukia was already walking away. He followed, of course. "Marriage? Who is he marrying?"

Rukia shrugged a shoulder. "Whoever the elders chose, I suppose."

"An arranged marriage?! They can't force him into spending his life with someone he doesn't love."

Rukia stopped suddenly, almost causing Ichigo to collide into her. "Who said they'd have to force him?"

Ichigo's eyes went wide, and something inside him tingled with urgency. It was the same sensation he'd get moments before stepping into battle, a feeling of life altering determination, a desperation to protect something that belonged to him. "You mean, he wants an arranged marriage?" His voice was betraying him. He sounded so small. He wanted to fold himself up into tiny squares, hide away from this feeling. "Are you serious, Rukia?"

Rukia turned, her tiny trembling hands clasped in front of her. Her eyes were dripping from their crevices, and concealed chuckles sputtered from her nostrils and clamped, curled mouth. "No, I'm not," she said, giving into full blown laughter.

"What the hell, Rukia?!"

After a few composing inhales, the woman said, "I just wanted to see your reaction, and boy, you didn't disappoint Ichigo. I thought you might actually cry." She smirked devilishly. "That's some response over _just a friend_."

Ichigo was glowing pink, his features wide and defensive. "I-we-I." He took a deep breath. "You're pure evil. That's not something to joke about!"

"Well, I wasn't completely," she explained. "I did hear the elders speaking on the possibility of marriage for both Nii-sama and myself some time ago. Since I'm not really apart of the blood linage, I doubt they'll press the issue. Nii-sama, however," she paused, chewing at her lip, "well, it makes sense." She gestured a hand around the surrounding confines of the mansion. "He has to leave all of this behind to someone. It must've occurred to you that, one day, he'll have to get married and have an heir. I know for a fact that Nii-sama doesn't believe in loveless marriages, however, he's also a man of duty, so I wouldn't be surprised if one day he announces his intended." Her brow perked wryly before she turned to leave. "Unless he had a reason not to. Too bad he doesn't."

"Yeah," Ichigo muttered, "too bad."

Ichigo watched her retreat with flushed, huffing cheeks and a newly obtained headache burning at his eyes. Rukia's assumption - no, accusation, left him feeling more vexed than a simple misinterpretation should've. It's true that Ichigo saw how close he and Byakuya had became, and that sometimes while in the noble's presence, he felt certain unexplainable things that were unique to their relationship, but why did those feelings need explaining? Nothing about their friendship had ever been conventional. It defied the need for definition, as it fitted perfectly in between the confines of any one label. Ichigo didn't need any convoluted over analysis of what they were complicating the dynamics of their friendship, a friendship that he accepted in all of its peculiar glory. There was no need to think about it at all, because to Ichigo, what they were was clear. They were Byakuya and Ichigo. Nothing more and nothing less.

But still, when he thought Byakuya would be married off to some stranger, if even for just a passing moment, his world felt smaller. He had to wonder why his whole life felt abruptly compacted, forced into a cramped closet where light was just a concept and his air supply was just a fraction of what it was only seconds before.

Why did the idea of Byakuya getting married feel like having something stolen from him?

 **...**

 **Up next: Problems with the peace, a book of secrets I was never suppose to read, feelings confronted**

 **xXx**

 **siwon611:** I understand love. As I write this, I should be working on homework. lol. Maybe you can catch up with you time over the holiday break. Thank you for taking the time to review. I only hope I can continue to live up to your flattering compliments. :)

 **Secret Companion:** I don't mind ranting! And yes, I love that line. I'm just like, Ichigo's got game, and he doesn't even realize it lol. Thank you, love! See you next time.

 **Tifanny91:** As always, it's nice to hear from you, dear. You are mighty astute. Too smart for your own good. ;) I don't want to give anything away, but I think you'll like how to cloning plays out, and you are also right in the thought that a bit of trouble may be lurking. I love the idea of Byakuya and Ichigo doing these little gestures for each other that neither understand the full meaning behind. I also love how Byakuya does things to earn Ichigo's pride. It may seem like a stretch, but I head cannon that Byakuya has unrequited feelings for Ichigo. Kubo wrote this omake where he gives Ichigo a sakura crested pass for new years. The pass gives him the full authority of a Kuchiki noble while in any of the Kuchiki owned restaurants in soul society. Like, ohmygawd, my heart. And it's cannon! like, if that isn't love or at least a major crush, Idk what is. Anyway, I'll stop my fan girl gushing!

 **Guest:** You're comment gave me a major smile. Thank you for taking the time to check this story out. Hope to hear from you again.

 **ctofi1:** Thank you love! See you next time.

 **Guest:** Not quite yet, but very close. :)

 **Evelina Sei:** Enjoy! :)


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Hey beauties. So this chapter is kind've long, but a lot happens and things are moving along nicely. The next three chapters, however, will all be really short. So except those relatively soon.

I think I characterize Ichigo a little different than most people. Because of what happened to his mom and his overall aloofness/ focus I think anything romantic will be difficult for him. I think he'll need a push. So hopefully you can understand why he acts the way that he does in this chapter.

I'm sorry if the editing is measly, but I only had time to proof read this once.

 **Terms to know**

Taishi: Ambassador

 **Song: "Stay" by Rhianna**

Good Vibes ~ Ashes

 **The Gray that Proceeds the Black**

 **xXx**

" **Not really sure how to feel about it.**

 **Something in the way you move**

 **makes me feel like I can't live without you.**

 **It takes me all the way.**

 **I want you to stay."**

Several months came and went, days flickering by like the flipping of a light switch. The sticky, sun scorched days of August gave way to the chaotic tendencies of a temperamental September, a month teeming with rain storms and severe winds.

Ichigo found the weather unfavorable as it both kept them inside and evoked memories he'd rather leave in the past, but Byakuya didn't feel the same. Ichigo often found him silently situated underneath the overhang of his deck, eyes closed and mouth ajar, catching the taste of thunder on his tongue.

Byakuya said there was a song in the wrath of a storm, one it played for all the senses, and when it passed, leaving behind the scent of soaked earth and fresh beginnings, it felt similar to the euphoric resonance that leaves you soaring after the peak of a powerful crescendo.

These days were peaceful, and Ichigo began to look upon the rain with new eyes.

Then came the welcoming hand of October, where the leaves began to shed their skin, reminding Ichigo that the process of death could be beautiful all over again. There was nothing sickly or withered about the way specks of red and orange warmed up the waning landscape. Now in the thick of November, the land was canvassed by a sea of dull crimson, the foliage shinning it's most vibrantly as the last of its vitality dwindled.

Between his duties, Ichigo's days were spent mostly training with Byakuya, broken up by half hearted banter and nightly tea- or sake, depending on if the dexterity of the day called for it, and occasionally spending time with Rukia and other Shinigami.

He enjoyed sparring at night, their heaving forms thrusting under the choir of heavenly bodies. It wasn't like this in Japan, the lights of the bustling city blinding everyone from the world's greatest spectacle. Here in Soul Society, the sky was dripping with these posphoretic jewels. At times, they looked so close Ichigo thought he could reach out through the lightyears and touch other worlds. It was like having the galaxy in your backyard.

Byakuya said he was both humbled and comforted by the fact that, though they're death gods, there was still so much they would never know. Even at the apex of power and knowledge, they stood in awe of such an uncharted vastness, how it cradled secrets like it cradled stars. He said humanity needed a little bit of wonder to keep leveled.

It was the times he looked up at the night sky that Ichigo wished Byakuya could see the most, if only so he could share that magic with him.

December was near. Ichigo could feel it in the way the shrillness of winter seeped in and stole falls last bit of liveliness. Days passed a lot like seasons. Slowly, gradual changes sneaking in so subtly that the differences went unnoticed until they were upon you.

Something had changed in Ichigo.

He was content. Whereas, in the past, he was complacent at best, and he hadn't even realized it. The change was not a deafening roar, but a barely audible sigh. It was the difference between pelting rain and the soft stroking of wind. It was the differences between finding happiness and happiness finding you, between looking and stumbling upon. It was nuances, this change that he'd been nourishing inside of him.

There was something else though. Another change. No, not a change, but a thought. A thought that grew louder by the day, nagging away at Ichigo. A thought planted by Rukia's intrusiveness.

Ichigo waited for Byakuya to tell him he was marrying in the way a nervous husband anticipated bad news in a hospital waiting room, and everyday, he thought on why it bothered him so deeply. Surely he didn't want his friend forced into marriage, but it was something more.

 _Something more._

That was another thought that wouldn't leave him, Rukia's accusation. It was infeasible to Ichigo, the idea of romance with Byakuya Kuchiki. Not because they were men per say, but because Ichigo's heart shuddered at the complexities of such a sudden shift, not just with Byakuya, but with anybody.

However, Ichigo found himself undoubtedly drawn towards the noble, a fact he could no longer ignore. He heard once that some people needed strong emotional connections to bring about physical attraction, and perhaps that's why, for the first time in his life, he felt a distinct desire towards someone's body, but not just someones, Byakuyas. And not just a desire, but a yearning, because it had to hurt to be deserving of that word, and god did it ever.

He was attracted to Byakuya in a way that could catch him off guard, and he'd often find himself staring at the fluidity of the man's mannerisms, caught in the radiant aura that surrounded him. Lately he was all hot cheeks and captivated eyes around his friend.

It was no wonder Ichigo was confused. Between their friendly intimacy, his attraction, and Rukia's confrontation, it all blurred the line of which they existed on. It wasn't love, but perhaps it wasn't just friendship either.

They were slow dancing on an expansive territory of gray, standing definitively between the white purity of companionship and the black unknown of romantic probability. The gray was safe. It was comfort swaddled in warm neutrality. It was home. He didn't need or want anything else.

It wasn't love.

It wasn't. Ichigo was a wrecking ball, obstinately swinging into situations with a singular intent. If it was love, he'd dive in head first as he did with all things, mindlessly lead by the compass of action that lived inside his gut. Instead, his gut felt heavy with a sickness at the probability, and when Ichigo really desired something, he knew nothing of apprehension.

No, this wasn't love.

He told himself that everyday.

 **xXx**

There was an annual ball hosted by the three leading houses of nobility at the end of every December. It was a means of which they paid homage to the Soul King, celebrating the power he bestowed upon the aristocratic families. Byakuya said it was merely an excuse for the most affluent of Seireitei to grandstand their wealth and influence, while making connections with others from high society. It was an evening of forced conversation and meticulously held back expressions of distaste, but a necessary one, because at the end of the event, the Grand Noble Council would congregate and admit members of the noble clans to share pressing issues in an open forum. After an evening of sucking up and sake, their ears leant more attention than usual.

Ichigo and Byakuya were intended to attend the festivities, taking the opportunity to reap the council's backing for the peace keeping laws that would come under final judgment at the end of January.

Everything had been moving along as Ichigo intended. The Quincy and the Shinigami had been working together on patrols, though not without a certain amount of animosity on both sides. However, the transition had been eerily easy, so it wasn't of great surprise when the road to peace became scabrous.

The Captain Commander called Ichigo and Byakuya both to his chambers, informing them of a small group of Shinigami inciters who attacked and gravely injured some of their Quincy counterparts, leading to a full out battle. The situation was sensitive, as Quincy nobility - who had as much influence as Shinigami nobility in their own legislative system - were not pleased. Ishida, too, was in an uneasy place. So the Captain Commander suggested that Ichigo travel to Quincy territory and talk peace strategies, while also mending some broken trust. He also suggested that Byakuya go, considering his prevailing political know how and his prominence in the process of peace thus far.

So with that, Ichigo and Byakuya were scheduled to leave for the Wandenreich, but not before Ichigo did some reading of the traditions of Quincy nobility to avoid further insult to their pride. This was, of course, at Byakuya's insistence.

Ichigo and Fujita entered the Kuchiki's vault like structure, the brass doors swinging open as it registered the Kuchiki emblems placed on their hands by Byakuya himself. He stood in aw at the collection of history towering them like skyscrapers, surrounding them in a dom like fashion. The smell of leather and the well maintained crispness of inked pages filled the enclosure.

"Woe..." Ichigo marveled, gaping.

Fujita walked up beside him with a proud smile. "It is something. Lord Kuchiki handles these precious pieces of our history with his own hands."

"No wonder the guys such an egghead." Ichigo's baffled expression melted into a tiny frown. "How the hell are we supposed to find the books we need though?"

Fujita smirked, her wispy drooped skin pulling smugly as she bent her arms at the elbows and jutted her hands up like a surgeon who just scrubbed in. The sleeve of her haori inched up as she did so. "Watch and learn, Kurosaki-san."

Ichigo scoffed. He knew where Byakuya got his haughtiness from.

Lifting the emblem embellished hand, Fujita called out, "Codeword QUI 94687." The symbol glowed red, as if burning into her skin, and amidst his fascination, Ichigo missed the text books flying from the shelves toward him. Turning at the last moment, Ichigo ducked, falling to the ground and just barely escaping a concussion.

"Watch out for the books, Kurosaki-san," Fujita said casually, stepping over him and walking towards a long oak table now scattered with ancient text.

"Now you tell me!" He yelled, his head spinning as he jumped to his feet. His eyes glazed over the gathered text, and he curiously fiddled with the pages. "You can't really expect me to read all this, right?"

"I don't expect you to read a normal book, lest not the entity of our recorded knowledge on Quincy history."

"Yeah, yeah, well then what am I supposed to do?"

She nodded towards his hand. "Place your palm flat on the books. The rest," she winked, "is history."

He stared at her oddly, waffling his gaze between his upturned hand and Fujita. "No more flying books, right?"

"No more flying books."

"Alright." Ichigo placed his palm flat against the pages and the emblem glowed red. His eyes widened as tendrils of text flew through his fingertips and spiraled up his arms, traveling across his skin until it vanished. As the last bit of script was absorbed, Ichigo stumbled slightly and cradled his head with mystified eyes.

"What the...So that's how it works, huh? No wonder Byakuya's so smart."

Fujita tutted in disapproval. "Nonsense. Lord Kuchiki has actually read all of these. You won't remember this information for long. Think about it like remembering what you ate for breakfast. You remember it clearly today, but in a week, the memory will be gone. Likewise, this information is shallow.

Ichigo blinked and rubbed at his now thumping skull. "Good, I really don't need the Quincy's national dish filling my head forever."

At the sound of flipping pages slicing the air, Ichigo turned around to see, for the first time, a book as thick as his tigh situated on a podium near the corner of the room. The book vibrated, and the pages flew at rapid velocities, as if the victim of being left out in a bad storm.

"Sometimes I don't know know if I'm in Soul Society or Hogwarts."

"Hogwarts?" Fujita asked.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Never mind. What is that thing? Why is it turning by itself?"

Eyeing the text of a book with half hearted interest, Fujita explained, "It's the Kuchiki Clan Ledger. Whenever someone is born or married into the clan, their name appears. Likewise, their death."

Ichigo gazed at the book with heavy eyes, as if undressing it of it's leather hide. "How does it know?"

Fujita licked the tip of her turning finger and slid to the next page. Still not looking up, she explained, "It is said that the book has a direct link to the consciousness of all Kuchiki clan members. It's the clan's collective consciousness of sorts. It is even said that the ledger knows the desires of all those marked by Kuchiki blood. It is sentient."

Ichigo took a few more steps, some thick gravity pulling him towards the stand. "Can I look at it?" Ichigo asked, though just as a formality, seeing as he was already walking towards the book.

"Until you are red in the face," Fujita said, "but you won't be able to read what's written. Only Kuchiki's can do that. To you or I, the pages will appear blank."

The words of discouragement headed no reaction from Ichigo, because since his eyes fell upon the book, something wouldn't let him draw away. He stopped in front of the stand, his eyes dancing across the yellow toned blank sheets. He pressed fingers into it, gauging the texture, though he was unsure of why.

Suddenly, the book radiated a soft violet, and the pages began to flip once again, this time, leaping back into the past.

"Uh...Fujita-san… are you sure only Kuchiki's can read this?"

"Yes," she said, sighing curtly.

"But I'm not a Kuchiki."

Fujita laughed lightly. "Small miracles, Kurosaki-san."

"Fujita," Ichigo said, and this time the attendant looked up, noting the edge of urgency in the man's voice. "Then why can I read this?"

She threw her sharpened eyes like daggers before closing the book and striding over.

Black slanted strokes of calligraphy appeared one after the other, Ichigo's eyes soaking up each Kanji as it manifested. His finger ran over the smooth parchment, following along with the words.

' _Kuchiki Arisa: Birth and death on the fifth day of winter in the year of Mizuchi: The River Dragon. Cause of death: Still Birth. Born of: Kuchiki Hisana and Kuchiki Byakuya.'_

Ichigo pulled back from the ledger with a clenched hand. The death of a child, Byakuya's child, written so phlegmatically, as nothing more than a neatly organized fact, burned to the sight and made his chest hiss and crackle like an angry furnace

He was brought from his turbulent thoughts when a hand settled on his shoulder. "Kurosaki-san? What is it that you're reading."

Ichigo looked back at the page to see nothing there, and he had to blink a few times to regain his senses. "It's nothing. I think my eyes were just playing tricks on me," he said softly. Fujita went to speak, a question pulling at her brow, but Ichigo's sudden withdraw halted her words. "I need to get going," he said, sparing the woman not one glance as he did so.

 **xXx**

Byakuya and Ichigo entered the shadow domain with Artemis proudly trotting at their sides. They navigated the unfamiliar territory until they breached the opening of the Wandenreich. Together, they walked through scantily populated streets, feeling the lingering sensation of hostility and confusion following their path.

"Cheir, Artemis," Byakuya commanded.

As she flashed away, Ichigo asked, "You use the same command with her as you do with your zanpakuto?"

Byakuya rolled a shoulder. "It seemed the simplest thing to remember."

"She's scanning the area, right? Don't you think you're being paranoid?"

"Just because I can not see the stares of the people here does not mean I can not sense their conflicted emotions."

Ichigo's eyes drifted up and down the winding street, avoiding the cold and cutting eye contact as he did so. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I didn't exactly expect a welcoming committee or anything, but I think I underestimated how tense things are."

They walked down a brick paved road towards an approaching cathedral that stood in the town's epicenter. Everything seemed to orbit around the monstrous erection. Both Ichigo's thoughts and eyes wondered, but not on the issue he was quite literally walking straight towards.

The information he gained in the library left him feeling suddenly restless. It implored action. Why else would the Kuchiki clan log show him that and nothing else if it wanted the knowledge and all thoughts about it living only as recorded history on those privileged pages?

Still, it felt awfully intimate, a tragedy he had no right to know about, but he did know. Something or someone wanted him to know, and all of his thoughts stayed on Byakuya since.

Not only did he want to know more, Ichigo wanted to share in Byakuya's pain, even if he could never truly comprehend it. Day after day, he desired for their lives to become more intertwined, but Ichigo had to wonder what would happen when there was nothing left separating them. Whatever occurred, rather he was ready for it or not, Ichigo couldn't stop himself. He couldn't idle the hands that continued to stitch their lives together.

Artemis returned to her master's side, and Byakuya greeted her with a pat on head.

"Are you well, Ichigo?" Byakuya asked.

"Yeah," Ichigo fibbed, "just thinking about what we're about to walk into is all."

"Just speak from your heart, and I'm sure it will reach them, and if not, that is why I am here to assist you."

Ichigo nodded as he attempted to push away thoughts of Byakuya until a more appropriate time.

They near the main gate of the cathedral, which was hugged by blood orange stained glass mosaics. In the shards, the whole city was reflected, making it look like a world on fire. From beneath a looming arch way, Ishida appeared, his tired face masked by shadows.

"Ishida-san," Ichigo greeted, "You look like crap."

Ishida relinquished an imploring sigh. "Please use better tact when speaking to Lord Ishgar." Turning his back to the pair, he said, "Follow me."

The group walked silently under the cover of tall, vault ceilings. It wasn't until they reached a set of Quincy encrusted doors that Ishida turned and said, "Lord Ishgar was chosen to represent the Quincy Nobility for today's meeting. I'll be there to moderate."

"Only moderate?" Ichigo questioned

"Yes. Things have been tense, and while I am on board with Shinigami and Quincy cooperation, that doesn't mean much. To say my people have been sceptical of my sudden leadership would be an understatement. I am one false move away from being ran out by an angry lynch mob."

"No pressure, huh?" Ichigo remarked, a scowl plastered on his face.

Ishida glared in reprove before pushing open the doors to what looked like a sizable meeting hall. At the center of the room sat a large circular table. Situated in one of the many encompassing chairs was a stately man with blond waves that cascaded down to the dip of his back. Running through the frosted locks were intricately designed braids.

He stood and walked to the three. His blue eyes were as bright as daylight, but his posture was as daunting as the night.

Ishida said, "Lord Ishgar, this is Kurosaki Taishi and Lord Kuchiki."

Byakuya, as if he had done this a million times before, reached out an arm. Lord Ishgar did the same, and like an extended handshake, they locked grasp at the forearm. Ichigo had learned this from the Kuchiki archives of Quincy culture. They did not bow to show respect, but united arms to show solidarity.

"It's a pleasure, Lord Kuchiki."

"Likewise."

He repeated this gesture with Ichigo. Although Ichigo's own movements were much clumsier, and instead of a genuine sense of repor, all Ishgar left Ichigo with was a curt nod of the head.

"Kurosaki Taishi, let's begin, shall we?"

"Sure," Ichigo said with a reluctant nod.

The group settled into their respective chairs, and Ichigo decidedly made the first move. "Lord Ishgar, let me start by apologizi-"

"I do not have use for apologizes, only solutions," Ishgar dismissed, his overlapped hands placed on top of his crossed legs.

Ichigo cleared his throat and laced his fidgety fingers to fake some confidence. "That's what I want too, but I think we can both agree that it will take time. What happened between our people, it was to be expected."

Ishgar shifted forward in his seat, the language of his body now accusatory. "Expected? How so?"

"Well when I approached Central 46 about Quincy and Shinigami cooperation, they pointed out that things would be tense. Like I told them, there's no real way around that. Things have to get worse before they'll get better."

"Is this your way of justifying the actions of those Shinigami?"

"No!" Ichigo exalted before he quickly softened his tone. "I mean, no. I'm just saying that it was inevitable."

Ishgar sat back in his seat, and his hands moved to accentuate his words. "If we are speaking of inevitabilities, than why are you wasting my time with things we both know are true? Perhaps you believe that I should be more sympathetic to the process of this integration, but you're overlooking the fact that I may not agree with this, as you say, cooperation, to begin with." Looking towards Byakuya, he said, "Truthfully, I feel as if my time would be better spent talking to you, Lord Kuchiki."

Ichigo's fist clenched and his lips contorted in barely contained frustration, but when Byakuya's hand discreetly squeezed his knee, something settled inside of him.

"Why is that, Lord Ishgar?" Byakuya asked.

For the first time since their greeting, Ishgar smirked, the edges of his lips pulled on by a contemptuous confidence. "If your bearings and gait were not enough, the Kuchiki name rings with power even amongs our land. You are a seasoned clan head, a bred politician who does not waste words."

"So that is why you treat me with more respect than you treat Kurosaki Taishi, because I am also nobility? Or because of my experience? Well, perhaps those things are true, but Kurosaki Ichigo is your Taishi, and he certainly doesn't need me to speak on his behalf."

"Then why did you come if not to speak for this _novice diplomat_?"

Ichigo looked at Byakuya. His eyes shined with anger, but he spoke with a fluid composure.

"You say novice diplomat as if it is a bad thing, but do we not all have to start somewhere? Kurosaki Taishi has perhaps more noble blood than both of us combined. This is something he was born to do. I would be wary of underestimating him," Byakuya warned, "I have made that mistake myself."

Lord Ishgar's brow harden as he tapped his fingers against the table repeatedly, and Ichigo smirked subtly at the man's apparent displeasure.

"And to answer your question, I am here to advice Kurosaki Taishi if he so needs it. Until then, you can speak to him."

With that, Lord Ishgar turned his leer towards Ichigo and said, "The Kurosaki name is known well amongs us, but just because you come from Quincy nobility does not mean that you are truly Quincy. Culture is learned not inherited. You haven't spent a single minute with our people. You know nothing of their desires or thoughts."

"You're right," Ichigo said with a nod. "I haven't, but I would like the opportunity to."

"And what if you don't like what they have to say?"

"That doesn't matter. This peace treaty isn't about me, it's about everyone."

Lord Ishgar's brows lifted, and he stared Ichigo down as if testing the legitimacy of his word. Then, slowly, a challenging smile emerged on his face. "A disdain for Shinigami has been ingrained into Quincy through years of anti Shinigami rhetoric imposed by Bach, our king of which you killed. Trust that we're not going to be an easy bunch to win over."

"I'm not looking for easy," Ichigo said. "Did you know his plan? What he was trying to achieve by killing the Soul King?"

Ishgar nodded. "Yes. He never lied to us."

"And you were okay with that?"

"It's a matter of perspective, I suppose," he reasoned, rolling a shoulder. "I'm sure everyone had their own opinions. Personally, I can't see a problem with a world where there's no death, but i'm sure you don't agree."

"I don't," Ichigo said. "Death sucks, yeah, but what would we gauge life through if we didn't have it? Without it, without any wonder or pain, or death in the world, what would motivate people? Give them hope? How do you know how important life is when you've never experienced death?" Ishgar said nothing, his eyes just slid to the side as he tilted his head slightly. "Look, honestly, what our opinions are about it doesn't matter. Bach, once they didn't benefited him anymore, he killed all of his comrades. He didn't care about any of his people. He didn't care about anything else but his own selfish power." Ichigo paused, looking intently at the other. "But you do."

After a moment, Ishgar prompted Ichigo with a nod of the head.

"It's true that I don't know much about politics, but I do know that if something doesn't change, history will keep repeating itself. Sure, the Quincys could decide not to cooperate with the Shinigami, but the hate will continue, and then how long until the next war? Is that what you want for your people, an endless cycle of killing?"

The thoughtful tapping of Ishgar's fingers continued, and for minute after daunting minuet, Ichigo sat in the anticipation of the others silence. "Very well," Ishgar said, "the noble clans will continue to support you in this transition. With stipulations, of course. If what I heard is correct, there are no laws in place to stop Shinigami from attacking the Quincy. That has to change. A law against attacking a Quincy with a three year minimum prison sentence."

Without much thought, Ichigo said, "We can't do that."

Ishgar threw his head, and his long hair flipped. "If you can not do at least that, than we have nothing to talk about."

"Kurosaki-san, " Ishida warned, "I would give this more consideration."

"That's not how I want to do things, trying to change people's thinking through threats. Things are really tense, and some of the Shinigami already think I'm against them."

"Perhaps this is a decision you should consult Lord Kuchiki on," Ishgar said, sighing in exasperation. "Since he obviously has more sense than you."

Ichigo nipped at his lip before turning a tentative glare towards the noble. "Do you agree with this, Byakuya?"

"Yes," Byakuya said with a nod. "I understand what your heart is telling you, but there are times when following one's heart is not the best course of action for the larger picture. Sanctioning law breakers is used both here and in The World of the Living, and for good reason. Think of the lower districts, and how crime runs ramped because there is no structure. One must be able to make the tough decisions and look like the bad guy when they're working towards great change." When Ichigo said nothing, just stared into his hands, Byakuya added, "In an ideal world, punishment wouldn't be necessary to stop criminality, but we both know this world is not ideal. You know those inciters can not be let to get away with their actions."

"Yeah, I know," Ichigo mumbled. "Alright, I'll take your condition to Central 46, but if we're going to have those types of sanctions, there needs to be something positive too."

Lord Ishgar smiled subtly and perched his chin atop his overlapped hand. "What do you have in mind, Kurosaki Taishi?"

 **xXx**

After another hour or so of negotiations and a lavishly prepared dinner, Lord Ishgar insisted they spend the night in one of his guest rooms. Out of politeness, Byakuya suggested they stay for the evening. The two separated and went to their rooms, but it wasn't too long afterwards that there was a knock on Byakuya's door.

"Byakuya, look what I found," Ichigo said, pulling the cork from a sake bottle.

At the familiar popping sound, Byakuya perked his brow dubiously. "Found or stole?"

"I didn't steal it. I just helped myself. Ishgar did tell us to make ourselves at home."

Byakuya's face did that thing where it twitch into a barely perceivable flicker of a smirk. It was a facial tic that only Ichigo could cause, or more accurately, that only Ichigo could notice. He loved when Byakuya did that. He looked beautiful that way. No, that wasn't quite right. Byakuya was always beautiful.

All Ichigo knew was, however he'd chose to define that tiny lurching of Byakuya's lips, it made him squirm.

"Did you also help yourself to some cups?" He asked as he stepped to the side, allowing Ichigo to enter.

"Nope," Ichigo said, dragging himself through the door. He took a gulp from the bottle and then extended it out in offering. "We'll just have to share."

"You cannot possibly believe that I will drink straight from that bottle, do you?"

"What, are you too good to go without cups?" Ichigo grinned. "Or are you just afraid you might actually enjoy not being a stick in the mud noble for once?"

There it was again, that flinching smirk. Ichigo stepped closer, brushing the bottle against the tips of Byakuya's fingers teasingly.

Byakuya wrapped his hand around the body of the bottle, their touches overlapping, and Ichigo's breathing deepened a bit, as if his lungs were fighting against something much stronger than oxygen. He took the bottle from Ichigo and lifted it to his lips, and Ichigo thought that only Byakuya could do something so typically unrefined and still retain a grace about it.

"On the contrary, I am more concerned about germs. I have no idea what strange places your mouth has been."

Ichigo tutted and snatched the bottle back. "What kind've person do you think I am?" He asked, slinging himself onto the leather couch. "Mines hasn't been anywhere yours hasn't."

"Oh," Byakuya responded flatly, "so you presume to know all the places my lips have been?"

A flush stuck to Ichigo's chest, and he swallowed down the possible implications of Byakuya's taunting.

"My mistake," Ichigo muttered, managing to squeeze the words out past the vice like tightness of his throat as the noble came and sat by his side.

Byakuya's eyes were like two gold coins, treasure troves of amusement, and Ichigo took another swig before directing them towards a less flustering topic of conversation.

Another hour passed, and the sake bottle was nearing empty. Byakuya sat the glass down on a table in front of them, and though his careful movements looked like those of a sober man, his freshly reddened cheeks betrayed hints of intoxication.

"You did well today, Ichigo," Byakuya said offhandedly.

"You think so?" Ichigo asked, giving a humorless, clipped, chuckle. "If it wasn't for you, Ishgar would've sent me out on my ass."

Byakuya hummed in consideration. "You are not always as confident as people believe you to be, yes?"

"Just because I'm determined doesn't mean I don't have my doubts," Ichigo explained, "That was one of the reason I was always grateful to have Rukia around. When it was really important, she wouldn't let me get lost in my insecurities."

"That is because she takes notice of that resolute fire within you, as do I. I believe in your goals here and that you will undoubtedly reach them."

Ichigo fiddled with the barran bottle, looking down the neck of it. "Sometimes you believe in me too much, Byakuya."

Byakuya frowned more intently towards the darkening room. "Why do you say this?"

"Because," Ichigo sighed, "I never did anything by myself. Rukia gave my my powers, Urahara taught me how to use them, Yoruichi helped me release by bankai, the vizards my hollow powers. I didn't defeat Aizen, not really. I couldn't even get my powers back by myself, and I damn sure didn't win that war alone." There was a profound silence, finalized by the swooshing of Ichigo's hand rubbing his hair and the bottle once again hitting the table. "I'm not some one man militia. I couldn't of accomplished anything without help every step of the way. The same goes for today. I…" he paused and looked towards Byakuya. "I don't want to disappoint you if I don't get this right," he admitted.

Byakuya didn't respond right away, just closed his eyes briefly. "Impossible. Ichigo, do you really believe that if Urahara-san and the others did not already know the full extent of your capabilities, that they would have let you come to Soul Society in the first place."

"I guess you're right, but what I'm doing now, it has nothing to do with my fighting abilities."

"That is true," Byakuya said, nodding, "but I believe that it is your determination that is your greatest ability. When I said impossible, I meant that it is impossible for me to be disappointed in you, because no matter if you win or lose, you will always try, and you will never let pride stand in the way of allowing others to help you reach your goal, something I can not say is true for myself."

"But you did ask for my help," Ichigo pointed out. "When you thought you were dying."

"Yes, and do you know why I did that?" Byakuya asked, not waiting for a response. "I knew you would fight, with or without my prompting. It was as a way to extend my gratitude for all you had done, both intentionally and unintentionally, for the people within the Gotei." He laid a hand on Ichigo's shoulder and spoke softly. "All though it was not purposeful, you gave me something the day you broke my blade. You gave me hope that I had long ago abandoned, inserted back in me the volition that had been stolen after many years of learned helplessness. Your determination," he continued, orange speckled eyes alight with the forceful resilience of a forest fire, "It reached me in the way nothing else was able to. So the only way you could possibly disappoint me is if you let adversity overcome you, which is one thing I do not believe you are capable of."

Ichigo brought his hand to overlap Byakuya's, squeezing the fingers as if he feared they may never touch like this again, and for a while, neither said anything. Ichigo just enjoyed the sensation of their skin touching like this, not daring to rush the moment.

He looked thoughtfully into Byakuya's eyes, passion lighting fires in their darkness.

' _Is that what orange means? Is that what you feel when you look at me, Byakuya? Passion?'_

Finally, Ichigo teased, "So is this your way of saying I bring out your more rebellious side, Byakuya?"

Byakuya slipped his hand away, placing both neatly atop his lap. "I pick and choose my battles these days. Although, it seems I am conceding more often of late."

"Oh yeah," Ichigo asked, "to what?"

Byakuya dipped his head marginally, and his hands kneaded against the fabric of his garment as if he was mulling over his words. "I am to be married and bear an heir at the request of my elders."

And there it was, the bad news Ichigo should've seen coming. Again, he felt like that nervous husband in a waiting room, one who had just found out that something he cherished was dying.

He had been anticipating this, but it still felt all too surreal. Because of the expectancy, he didn't respond with the first words that came to him. In fact, there weren't words at all, just muddied thoughts that seemed to overlap one another. All this time, he'd been wondering if and when Byakuya would come to him with this, and he never once thought what he'd say when the moment finally arrived.

However, it didn't take him long to form the right words, because there was only one thing that really matter. "How do you feel about that?"

"Truthfully, it is not my ideal situation. However, there is little I can do to stop it."

"Byakuya, there's always a way."

The noble sighed, almost as if he was endeared."I know you still believe this, and while in the light of knowing you, I have regained a bit of my hope that I once lost, all one can do sometimes is try, though with the knowledge that you may be unsuccessful. There is a grace in accepting that there are certain things that are inevitable in this life."

"I know that, but-"

"It is duty, Ichigo, and while I know this is not something you can completely grasp, it is apart of me."

Not wanting to make assumptions on the way Byakuya felt, Ichigo asked, "Is it because it's an arranged marriage or is it because you're still mourning your wife that you don't want this?"

"It is not that I still mourn Hisana per say, not in the traditional way," Byakuya explained, surprising Ichigo with his response. "When someone you love dies, yes, it stays with you forever. However, I believe we choose how long we stay with it. Some people prefer to prolong their misery, making happiness an unreachable goal, because there is both a comfortable familiarity in one's grief and a fearfulness in going forward." Softer now, he said, "I suppose stubborn men like us are not so good at moving on."

"So, you're saying you don't want this marriage because you're afraid?" Ichigo frowned and asked, "What are you afraid of?"

This time there was a longer silence, and the colors in Byakuya's eyes kept rearranging themselves like the twisting of a kaleidoscope. Finally, he turned towards Ichigo, a definitive trouble still potent in Byakuya's untouchable gaze. They were drowning in a blue, and the hue swelled, spilling over into the room until even the air was mourning their sadness.

There was nothing profound about the way Byakuya expressed sadness. Like most things about him, it was subtly, hardly noticeable glimpses that rose to the surface, but now, there was something so apparent within those subtleties.

The tips of his eyebrows inclined, while his typically stiff lips sagged. His eyelids were heavier than usual. "I… I have never told anyone this," he began, pausing for such a long time that Ichigo thought he had changed his mind. "Hisana, she did not love me in the way that I loved her." A smile flickered for a passing second, which only added upon the clusters of blue filling his eyes. "And trust that I did love her, but… it was that selfish love that inevitably killed her. In part, I do desire a family, but I can not think of family without thinking of pain and death I have caused. Such an amount that it eclipses the joy."

At first, Ichigo did not attempt to reach out for Byakuya nor did he speak. He didn't want to offer more than the noble was ready for in such a delicate moment of vulnerably. Although, that's not to say that there was anything that Ichigo would've wanted more than to wrap his arms around Byakuya, let him feel a tangible comfort in their touching bodies.

However, Ichigo had always been hot headed, thoughtless at times, so it was of little surprise when he so naturally asked, "You said your love killed her. Are you talking about Arisa?"

Byakuya's face went wide and ridged, and there was a danger in that jagged openness, like the mouth of a canyon.

"How do you know that name, and how dare you speak it to me as if you have any right?" Byakuya asked, standing in one swift motion.

Ichigo jumped to his feet and wrapped his fingers around the noble's wrist. "Byakuya, please let me explain! I-"

"Did Fujita-san tell you this?" Byakuya hissed in question, liberating his wrist with one pull.

"No! You know she would never break your trust like that. I read it in the Kuchiki ledger. It- It showed it to me!

Byakuya turned back to Ichigo, his eyes piercing like thickets. "Impossible."

Ichigo shook his head sideways. "I know it's supposed to be, but it showed me that and only that," he explained. "Fujita said something about how the ledger is believed to be sentient. That it's the consciousness of all clan members. So isn't it possible that it showed me, because deep down, there's a part of you that wanted me to know?"

The anger slip off of Byakuya's face for a brief moment, only to be replaced by a less intense hostility.

Ichigo once again gripped the noble's wrist, the tips of his fingers pleading with the man.

"I think I understand," Ichigo said sedately, stepping closer. "You grew up being dedicated to your families ways, but you broke the rules for Hisana because you loved her that much, and you wanted a family of your own after yours died...Only she didn't love you the way you loved her." He stepped closer again, and Byakuya was unable to hold his anger as Ichigo's free hand came to rest on his waist. "But you two made a baby, and it lead to both of their deaths."

Byakuya's head dipped and Ichigo mimicked the gesture, their faces just a breath away from each others as he spoke tenderly. "And you feel guilty, and now you're scared, because you don't want to feel that way again."

"Are you proud of yourself?" Byakuya asked meekly, "You have unfolded all the gory details of my personal tragedy, are you happy with yourself?"

The crevices of Ichigo's eyes dampened, and a single tear rolled down his crestfallen face. "No," he said, "not at all."

He released Byakuya's wrist and slid both hands around the nobles waist, pulling him into an embrace. Byakuya stiffened and his hands dangled midair, but Ichigo's hold was relentless. He perched his chin on Byakuya's shoulder, and his hands clutched to the fabric.

His hands were vagabonds, traveling everywhere on the noble's body, but staying nowhere. From hips to shoulders, he wanted to see it all. He even wanted to make these places his home, make himself their home, but he was simply a wistful tourist here. He knew he'd never let himself stay.

Byakuya's body resigned to the others and he allowed his head to rest in the crook of Ichigo's neck. Ichigo could feel the tiny sigh of contentment against his skin, and he shifted to close any gaps between them.

"What I said to Ishgar, I meant it," Ichigo whispered. "We use death to gauge how important life is, but it won't be painful all the time. So no running, damn it. It wasn't your fault, and wanting a family didn't make you selfish." When he felt Byakuya's hands tremble against him, he repeated, "It wasn't your fault."

"So you think I should accept this marriage with an open heart?"

"Hell no! I think you, if you want a family, you should have it, but it should be with someone you actually love, not someone they force upon you." Ichigo's arms constricted as he felt an anger come over him. He moved his grasp, bringing one hand up to caress the black silk of Byakuya's head. "I hate that they think they can push you into that. This is your whole life we're talking about, Byakuya. You're fucking priceless, they can't treat you like some bargaining chip!"

"Ichigo, I-"

"I won't let them do it. I won't let them marry you off to someone you don't even know."

Ichigo could feel a faint smirk against his neck, and something about that almost broke his heart.

"And how will you stop them, Ichigo?" Byakuya asked, a certain grim humor in his voice."

He had no clue, and maybe he was just spouting impossibilities, but if there was a way, he'd find it.

His voice lowered to an utter as he said, "I'll steal you away."

That smirk grew wider again his neck.

"Oh, and where will you hide me exactly?"

Ichigo closed his eyes and inhaled the noble's scent. "With me," he said, his heart shaking at his chest like the reverberation of a bass.

"Ichigo," Byakuya said, pulling away as much as Ichigo's arms would allow. "You are a selfless man, but even so, do not attempt to get involved in the issues I created for myself."

Ichigo stepped back, a frown flagrant on his face. "I'm not selfless, Byakuya. Yeah, I don't want you forced into marriage, but..."

"But?"

Ichigo closed his eyes and sighed. "Its for me too, because If you get married and have a kid, things will have to change between us."

He had a genuine look of confusion, and Ichigo didn't realize Byakuya had the ability to wreck him until he felt himself crumble at the noble's next words.

"We are friends, Ichigo, why would a marriage interfere with that?"

It shouldn't have upset him. That's what he wanted, to keep their strangely intimate friendship as it was, straying away from anything more complex. But, still, had he'd completely imagined the whole thing, that they were standing on the verge of something more? Was it all one sided? How could he have been so stupid?

And more importantly, why did he suddenly feel so cold?

"Friends," Ichigo echoed, letting the word take root inside him. "You're right, Byakuya," he said, forcing a smile and hoping it reached his voice. "I should probably be getting to bed."

Ichigo could tell that Byakuya knew something was wrong, but he also knew the noble wouldn't push him, and he appreciated Byakuya so much for being that kind've person.

"Very well. Sleep well tonight, Ichigo."

"Yeah, you too."

 **xXx**

 **Guest: Thank you so much. I hope you are pleased with this chapter.**

 **Engkantada1905 : Slowly but surely, were getting there, but you'll see that the way they come to realize is a bit different.**

 **Dust-of-Moon: Heres some more cuteness. Thanks love**

 **Tifanny91: I definitely agree. I never thought it was a coincidence that Byakuya fought "the fear" it the Quincy blood arc. Kubo centered a big portion of his character around his fear of losing people and keeping himself distant from them to protect himself. Which is why I found it so sweet when he surpassed that and let Rukia fight As. Nodt. Lol I think we all wanted that kiss to happen, but I'm evil and I must tease you throughly before I allow any of that to happen. As Shakespeare said, "The course of true love never did run smooth," so don't expect it to be easy for these two. Thanks for the review, love.**

 **LustfulAvarices: I had to throw in some more Renji sadness, and trust there will be more before this story ends. Thank you love, I hope you get the chance to catch up.**


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I hope everyone has a fun and safe New Years. I'll be at home giving my mattress a midnight kiss. Cheers

 **Song "I found" by Amber Run**

Good vibes ~ Ashes

 **This Darkness is Home**

 **xXx**

" **And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be,**

 **right in front of me.**

 **Talk some sense to me."**

 **xXx**

"Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south!"

The swirling ball of red energy began to form in the palm of Ichigo's hand, only to combust and send him flying backwards into a tree.

He hit the bark with a thud and began to cough violently. Once he could breath normally again, Ichigo leaned against the tree and pinched the bridge of his nose.

 _'I was doing so well too. My heads just not into it today...'_

He sighed, thinking back to the advice Byakuya gave him.

 ** _'A lack of control is what's causing your kido to backfire. Until you can learn to tame your reiatsu, try thinking back to a memory that calms you.'_**

Ichigo stood, walked to the center of the field, and took a calming breath as he thought back on nights he'd spent drinking tea with Byakuya under the stars.

He recited the incantation as he let the memory quiet the aching of his scattered nerves, and the kido resounded in perfect execution, leveling a path of trees in its wake.

Ichigo smiled at the destruction, but his face soon melted into a broad, encompassing frown.

 _'I like what we have. It's simple, but when I think of something more complicated, my head starts throbbing.'_

With his returned headache, Ichigo sat back against the tree and pressed palms into his eye sockets.

 _'But I feel even worse when I think about him with someone else...'_ Ichigo groaned, resting his head back against the tree. _'Someone else, I say that like I think about him being with me. It be a lie if I said I never have, but...would I want that? It could ruin everything...and...I just don't want to lose him.'_

 _'Would he even want that? I mean, he said so himself...we're just friends. He doesn't want me like that...'_

Under the withering foliage, Ichigo allowed the strong breeze of an approaching winter to cool his sweat drenched body, but it did little for his convoluted thoughts.

He let his mind drift back to a few nights prior, the night that stuck with him like a bad dream.

 **xXx**

 _Ichigo began undressing in his guest room when he heard Zangetsu say, "Man, you can be really pathetic sometimes, King."_

 _"Shut it. I'm not in the mood, Zangetsu."_

 _"_ _Yeah, well tough shit."_

 _At the sound of a heavy flopping, Ichigo turned to see Zangetsu lounging with his feet perched on the glass coffee table._ _"What are_ _you doing here? I didn't say you could manifest."_

 _"A better question is, what the hell are you doing here?"_

 _Ichigo shot the sword spirit a scowl before he continued to strip down to his hakama. "I already told you, I'm not in the mood."_

 _"Well I'm not in the mood to be living in a constant rain storm, but here we are, King."_

 _"This is none of your business."_

 _Zangetsu sat with his arms crossed, shaking his head lightly. "Ha," he mocked, "not my business? Hello? I'm your zanpakuto, literally apart of your fucking soul. You're my business." He held Ichigo's glare relentlessly, as if daring him to say otherwise. When Ichigo broke away, turning, Zangetsu said, "Can't you just admit what you already know? You love Moonbeam."_

 _"Shut it," Ichigo said, turning away even more._

 _Zangetsu clapped slowly. "Great response, King. So what, you're saying you don't love him?"_

 _"I do, but not like that."_

 _"Oh really?" Zangetsu smirked lewdly, "Because that dream you had about him last week begs to differ."_

 _Ichigo flushed, sputtering like an old car engine._

 _"Even if I did, that doesn't mean I want to date him," Ichigo reasoned._

 _"What, you love him, but you don't want to be with him? Is that it?"_

 _"I_ _'m a complicated guy," Ichigo said, walking towards the bed_

 _"More like stupid," Zangetsu muttered._

 _Ichigo said nothing, promoting Zangetsu to stand in challenge. "It's not like you to be a coward. That's not the man Byakuya fell in love with."_

 _Ichigo turned abruptly, posture stiff and eyes hard like marble. "He doesn't love me!"_

 _"Oh, so is that what bothering you? Why didn't you just say so?" Zangetsu asked, a grin pulling at his ashen skin. "It's not smart to make assumptions. How do you know that anyway?"_

 _Ichigo tutted, a permanent scowl marring his face. "You heard him," he muttered._

 _Zangetsu pinched at his nose and shook his head in exasperation. "Yeah, and so did you. He's never had any real friends, just mentors, and the one person he did love didn't even love him back! The guys a special type of emotional retard." When Ichigo's eyes cut away, Zangetsu gave him an inquisitive glare, "But you already realized that, didn't you? You're not nearly as dense as you pretend to be. You know there's something there, just like you knew that busty chick had a crush on you, but when you don't want to deal with something, you play dumb." He scoffed. "Pathetic."_

 _Ichigo's face looked like shards of blood, the way it tensed and brightened. He shunpo towards the sword spirit, reappearing an inch from his face. "Go back to your inner world, Zangetsu, before I make you."_

 _"Ha, don't make me laugh, King. You never have the upper hand when you're doubting yourself." Before Ichigo could form a response, Zangetsu rolled his eyes. "Come on, not now," he said seemingly to himself. "I don't want to, he's pissing me off."_

 _"Who are you talking to?" Ichigo asked. "Is it the old man?"_

 _Zangetsu put a tongue in his cheek and said, "Nice guess, but try again...Ugh, fine, I'll leave, but you owe me something good when I get back, Sweet Cheeks."_

 _"Wait," Ichigo demanded. "Who the hell are you talking to?"_

 _The sword spirit stepped back and smiled wildly at his master. "None of your business_

."

 **xXx**

Shivering winds drew Ichigo back to reality, making him stand and knocked some dirt from his uniform.

' _I don't have time to think about this. I need to go see Jushiro.'_

As part of his negotiations with Ishgar, Ichigo decided they should host a festival for both the Quincy and the Shinigami. The hope was to build a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding, as it was much easier to dehumanize a group of people you've never spent time with.

In a desire to lead by example, Ichigo planned on having various captains and seated officers speak at the event. Jushiro, being the revered lynchpin that he was, seemed like an obvious candidate.

Seeing as the festival was less than a week away, Ichigo had plenty to preoccupy his mind.

He had plenty to distract him...

Right before he flashed away and decidedly pushed thoughts of him and Byakuya to the back of his mind, Ichigo thought, _'It's better like this. What does a guy like me know about being in love anyway?'_

 **xXx**

Byakuya's eyes opened upon his inner world with an apprehensive eagerness. Only after he took in the thriving landscape as a whole did he allow himself to appraise each piece of life as a singular entity.

A helix of pink drifted over the gardens by passage of wind, blessing everything with their sweet aroma. Their delicate yet fierce forms waltz through the cotton candy blue sky, leading Byakuya's gaze through his soul like the beaconing hand of a tour guide.

The petals first cut through translucent falls of water, swooping down into the streams before emerging to ruffle the growth of a rose bush. They navigated through a throng of flourishing trees and continued their whimsical dance to where he sat. On the cushion of sunlit grass, they rounded him like a crown of flowers.

A solidarity petal caressed Byakuya's cheek as if welcoming him home with a gentle kiss, and it was soon replaced by a wayward tear.

"You have not been here since before the war, Master."

Byakuya looked ahead to see Senbonzakura standing before him in full regalia, prompting him to quickly settled his dripping eyes.

"I felt as though, if I came, I may have never wanted to leave."

The sword spirit nodded before he spanned the distance between them. He sat in a seiza in front of his master and bowed respectively.

"And now?" he asking, straightening his posture. "What has prompted this visit?"

"I suppose I was hoping to look upon my soul for answers."

"And have you found what you are looking for?"

Byakuya skimmed the area, and he felt overwhelmed by the sight of it all. So much so, he could not call upon his other senses.

"It was foolish to think it be that simple," Byakuya said with a sigh.

"Perhaps I can offer you guidance," proposed Senbonzakura.

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, his brow perking. "I am sure you know both the issue and the solution."

"And I'm sure you know it does not work that way," the spirit said.

Byakuya could hear the wry inflection of Senbonzakura's soft baritone, making him sure his spirit was smiling under the coverage of his barrings.

"Yes, I do."

"What is it that you seek, Master?"

"I am not quite sure," Byakuya admitted. "I have felt ill at ease of late, as if something within me will not obey." He paused, his eyes hardening on a nearby sakura tree. "My face does not know how to behave around Ichigo. It simply reacts to his presence in ways it does not with others. I feel as if I have lost control of our relationship."

"Is that not to be expected?" Senbonzakura asked, "With how close you two have grown?"

"Yes," Byakuya said with a slight nod of the head. "However, I question if this is a good thing. Ever since we returned from Quincy territory, he has been distant. Perhaps I have deterred him with my openness."

"Now master, despite your logic, you often let your insecurities override your judgment. Have you considered that Kurosaki-sama is dealing with his own internal conflict?"

Byakuya closed his eyes, considering his spirit's words. "I have, but perhaps it was arrogant to assume it was about me."

"Perhaps it is about you, perhaps not," Senbonzakura said, "but trust that he desires nothing but your fullest, realest self."

"And how would you know that?"

"I can not answer that."

Byakuya's brows narrowed, and he considered pushing for a response, but he learned long ago that when he was the one seeking wisdom, Senbonzakura would not budge to any amount of obstinance.

"I am not sure what questions I am supposed to ask you."

"It is more important which questions you ask yourself. Did you give any thought to the question Uchi-san presented you with when he left? Why you chose to keep a certain distance between you and Kurosaki-sama?"

"I did not," Byakuya said with a tiny, irritable huff. "He is the one I am closest to, so it seems senseless."

"Maybe it is in your closeness that the issue lives," he reasoned, "Maybe you fear a change that could draw rifts if you let it come to be. So you keep a safe distance, however small, to protect what you two have created."

"Ichigo said something similar to this. That, when I marry, our relationship will alter."

"And you do not see his reasoning behind this?" The spirit asked.

"No," Byakuya said definitively. "It is correct that I keep a certain barrier between us, but that is only natural for me. He is the only true friend I have ever had, and I do not see reason for that to change."

"You are not completely correct, Master." When Byakuya lifted a brow in question, he explained, "You have had one other true friend. I know the pain of that time has clouded your memory, but surely, you must remember."

Byakuya went silent for a moment before he lifted his gaze and said, "Hisana."

"Yes," Senbonzakura said with a nod, "she understood you in ways no others did. I believe that is what made her rejection so difficult for you. You saw it as something unlovable in yourself."

"What is it that you are implying?"

"Nothing," Senbonzakura assured. "I am making an observation."

"I can agree that her and Ichigo have this in common, but I do not understand what I am to infer of it."

"It is not just in their similarities that you will find your answers, but in your similar feelings towards them. Of course," he explained, "only once you can see past your own insecurities."

Byakuya looked towards the ground as if the answers would bloom in front of him, ready to be plucked, but nothing would come. He once again felt like a child grasping for knowledge about a world beyond him. After all this time, he thought he knew his own heart better than this.

"Do you agree that you feel a degree of fear when it comes to Kurosaki-sama?"

Hesitantly, Byakuya nodded.

"And what do you fear?" Senbonzakura asked. "Him passing like your late wife?"

"No," Byakuya said, "I've come to learn the inevitability of death. Ichigo will one day die, as we all will. However, he is strong, and I doubt that day will come to pass soon."

"Then do you fear his leaving? Was this not the reason you resisted your budding relationship in the beginning, because you assumed he'd one day leave."

Byakuya clasped his hands to disencourage any unsightly mannerism as he thought about the question. "He will leave for his own division one day. I know this, and yet..."

"It bothers you," Senbonzakura determined. When Byakuya nodded, he asked, "But if you two are simply close friends, why would his changing divisions alter the relationship you have built?"

"It will not," Byakuya said. "I suppose I just dislike the idea of him not being by my side, however selfish that may be."

"You are closer than you realize, Master."

Byakuya sighed and asked, "Will I find clues within my inner world?"

"Yes, you will find them everywhere." Waving an arm out, Senbonzakura said, "Tell me, what differences do you see?"

"Everything seems richer than before," Byakuya observed, tilting his head curiously. "However, I thought that may have been because I have seen nothing for so long."

"You're right, everything is thriving more than ever. It has not been this bright since before the death of your Otōsama."

Byakuya's eyes widened marginally as he gazed around the gardens once more. "I see."

"More so, consider your presence here. You seem more eager to know about Kurosaki-sama than you have been to know about anyone else in a long time." His voice took on a frown. "I can tell this distance between you both is troubling for you."

Byakuya slowly inclined his head, letting the words and their cryptic meaning find a place inside him.

"You have given me much to think about."

"Good," Senbonzakura said. "Now it is time for you to leave. The truest reflections of ourselves can be found within the ones we care about if we know what to look for. I can sense Kurosaki-sama now. Perhaps it is time you look a little deeper."

 **xXx**

Byakuya opened his eyes to the return of darkness and the felling of Ichigo's staunch reiryoku moving towards him.

"There you are. It took me so long to find you, I almost thought you didn't want to be found."

The noble heard the shifting of a shihakusho and the popping of joints as Ichigo landed gracelessly beside him.

"And yet that did nothing to deter you in your searching."

"I've been practicing my kido and making preparations all day, so I thought I could blow off some steam by bothering you."

Byakuya said nothing. Instead he focused on the rhythm of Ichigo's breathing and the scent of petrichor rolling off his skin.

"Did you not want to be found?" Ichigo asked, a slight frown sullying his voice.

Byakuya gave a sharp shake of the head. "No, that is not it. I was simply visiting my inner world, and I suppose I got a bit lost." He paused, considering. "This was Hisana's favorite place to stare gaze at, so I come here sometimes. Although, not since I lost my vision."

"What did she mean to you?" Ichigo asked offhandedly. "I mean, obviously you loved her, but I can't help but wonder what kind've person could make Byakuya Kuchiki fall in love with them."

There was something unsettled in the way Ichigo voiced his question, but there was also a genuine curiosity that made Byakuya inclined to honesty. For anyone else, he would have idled his tongue, but for Ichigo, who was like the sun, Byakuya was the moon. There was no escaping the gravity that tethered them. Byakuya would always orbit him.

"It is hard to find the words to describe her. She saw me for who I was, befriended the darkness in me. It takes a special kind of person to look past the Kuchiki name, a person with love and compassion in their heart. That was the kind of person Hisana was."

Byakuya paused, wishing he could look to Ichigo for some visible reaction, but he was left with only a silence to gauge.

"Hisana use to say that she knew I loved her, because I looked at her with the same wonderment that one might look upon the heavens." After a moment, he continued, "She said I reminded her of the moon."

"I don't think she befriended the darkness in you,"Ichigo mused somewhat abruptly, "I think she saw past it. Do you know why Zangetsu calls you moonbeam?"

"I assumed for the same reason you have never once addressed me formally: A lack of manners."

Ichigo scoffed lightheartedly and said, "Because your name means 'white night', something so bright it lights up the dark. It makes sense that they both compared you to the moon. You're shrouded in this darkness, and from far away, you seem cold, hard, perfect."

Ichigo's voice softened as he continued, and Byakuya could feel the way he stirred in his spot, disrupting some of the distance between them.

Byakuya's sun, it pulled on him, and he, too, drew closer. "But if you look closely, you're not perfect at all. You have all these craters that show how strong you are, and even if it seems like you hide in the darkness, it bends and blurs around you, because you're too bright... "

The noble's breath was also caught in the clutches of Ichigo's field of attraction, as he felt it forcibly pulled from him.

"I am nothing compared to the sun."

Ichigo scoffed. "Is that suppose to be me?"

Byakuya nodded.

"The sun's overrated."

"It gives everything life, and all life grows towards it. Everything rotates around it."

"Yeah, but it's so bright it's blinding, and no one can get near. You'll never hear of a man walking on the sun. And in the end," he muttered, "it's just covering up a black core."

Byakuya closed his eyes briefly, and thought that, even while speaking figuratively, Ichigo was still so straightforward when one took the time to listen. "Technically the core of the sun is opaque, but I see what you mean." Dryly, Byakuya remarked, "It does have quite the torch to carry."

After a moment of dull silence, Ichigo asked, "Did you actually just make a fucking pun?"

"Perhaps."

"You made a science pun while still managing to correct me," Ichigo pointed out through a bubbling, bout of chuckles, "I've never met someone who could be such an ass and really amazing at the same time. Good job, Byakuya."

The noble chuckled too, Ichigo's blitheness making the swelling in his chest exuberant. So much so, he thought it might overcome him if not tamed, these wild things that howled inside of him, things born of Ichigo.

The silence that followed their laughter felt similar to the eerie quiet that trails on the heels of a bad storm. Finally, Ichigo asked, "Why are we talking in metaphors, Byakuya?"

"Perhaps because we do not yet know what we want to say."

Another silence ensued, and Ichigo's next question felt a lot like the acrobatics of avoidance, as if he was bending backwards only to maneuver around the awkwardness of his uncertainty.

"Jushiro said I should ask you about courting Hisana." Quickly, he added, "You don't have to tell me if it's too personal."

Again there was veracity in his curiousness, and Byakuya knew that if he was simply avoiding something, Ichigo could've easily made up an excuse to leave. He wondered what conflict was waging its war inside of Ichigo. He wondered if Ichigo knew things he himself did not.

"As I said," Byakuya began, "she healed many of the children that would go on to attend the preliminary school, but that was not the whole truth. Years ago, I was both being promoted to taichou and beginning the process of ascension to head of my clan. It was a troubling time for me. I had and always have thought that I was a lesser man than both my Otōsama and Ojisama. My Otōsama had this infectious beauty, a friendliness that drew everyone near. My Ojisama held himself with such an effortless nobility while never seeming cold. They were both men of duty and sacrifice and they held themselves with such a grace. I took after them both, but I lacked their resilience and decisiveness. I wanted both love and honor, but I was unwilling to sacrifice one for the other. Because of that, there was a conflict in me, one that could be sensed, and when I did make sacrifices, it was with such a heavy heart that It weighed down the ones around me. I wanted too much. I could never accept my destiny nor reject it."

"You know I am not one to speak heavily on myself, so I only tell you this for context, as it has to do with how I met Hisana."

"Context or not," Ichigo said lowly, "I like knowing more about you. I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't interested. So go ahead and finish your story."

"I did not have peers," Byakuya continued , "and the other children in my clan looked at me with jealousy or fear. My volatile disposition certainly did not help me in gaining the friendship of others, so after years of feeling ostracized by my Kuchiki blood, my destiny felt like, at times, a burden. I desired to know what it felt like to be looked at as if I was just another person, which lead me to a tea house within the West district. It was far enough away so people would not recognize me without my barrings. However, when I arrived, I noticed that many of the patrons were staring at me, whispering to each other. I figured they had recognized me, and I went to take my leave, but not before a waitress came to greet me."

"It was Hisana?"

Byakuya nodded. "Yes. She was kind, intelligent, and despite her timid nature, she had this liveness about her. I assumed that she did not recognize me and somehow managed to overlook the gawking of the others, but that was not the case. I soon realized that, in my fraught state, I had forgotten to take out my hair pieces, symbols of a high noble, and that she approached me in such a way not out of ignorance, but out of character. I enjoyed our interactions so much that I began to go back on what few days I had free. I would speak to her about the burdens of nobility, about my dreams and my past. She would do the same. I would often stay until she closed up for the evening, wishing the night would not end." A hint of a pained smile surfaced on the noble as he declared, "She was my friend."

"But it became more," Ichigo prompted.

"It did not take me long to understand my feelings, but it was the circumstances of our existences that kept me quiet for over a year. However, after my Ojiisama passed away, the elders wanted me to consider taking a wife. I was at an impasse, and for once, I had to choose a side of that tight rope I had been straddling. So I asked her to do me the honor of allowing me to court her."

"And she accepted?"

"No, however, that was the day she told me about Rukia. She spoke it with tears in her eyes, as if it was her biggest regret. I knew without her telling me that she was stuck in her past, one her heart could not surmount. She had given me so much, and I became determined, if not obliged, to give her back a future, even if it was not one with me."

Byakuya felt Ichigo slid a bit closer, and he could tell that the young man sat on the edge of every pause in his story by the way his body neared in anticipation.

"What made her change her mind?"

"Another year past, and as you know, I never did find Rukia, but we built the school together. We were great partners and even better friends. After some time, the elders became more insistent that I choose a wife, so I asked her again. Only this time, I did not ask her to love me, but to save me. If I were to marry, we could not continue as we were. I did not want that isolation again, and neither did she. We cherished the bond that we had, though it meant something different for both of us. So I made a vow that, if she were to marry me, I would do everything within my power to make her happy. I will always remember how she smiled at me and said 'there are much worse things in this life than being loved by a person like you.'"

Byakuya's words hung in the air, stretching out the silence that surrounded them. Then he added, "Truthfully, she was kinder than need be. She went into our marriage with an open heart and attempted to love me as I did her. She even went as far as to ofter me affection and agreeing to make a child with me, but in the end, she could not find it in herself to feel as I did."

"Woe…" Ichigo marveled. "You did all that for someone who didn't even love you."

"I am sure that sounds like the actions of a pathetically sentimental man, and perhaps they were, but-"

"No!" Ichigo interrupted, his voice full of fiery dissent. "That's not what I meant. You know, they say people accept the love they think they deserve, but it sounds like Hisana did really love you, just in a friend way. I think that's pretty damn amazing, Byakuya, that you loved her selflessly and without expectation. More people should love like that."

Something about those words felt like validation, a validation Byakuya wasn't even willing to give himself. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Thank you for sharing that with me. I know talking about yourself isn't easy for you."

"Why did you want to know?"

"Well, I…" Ichigo paused in uncertainty. "Actually, lately I've been wondering how do you even know if you're in love with a person. I've never been in love before, so I can't be sure."

Byakuya blinked a few times, as he felt mildly surprised by the words. Had that been what was causing Ichigo to be distant? Perhaps he had been arrogant to assume Ichigo's change in disposition had been by some fault of his own.

Automatically, his mind attempted to put a face to the person who could steal all of Ichigo's thoughts, who could make the sun orbit around them. Of course, there was the obvious answer; Rukia. It made sense. Perfect sense, actually. Their inevitable joining felt like a linear truth, a connect the dot type romance, the laws of nature simply waiting to be enacted. When a person spoke of love between Ichigo and Rukia, they might as well have said that the sun will rise and the moon will follow. People would be more surprised to hear they felt nothing romantic for each other, if they believed it at all.

So why did thoughts of them together feel like a reality Byakuya's mind would not swallow? Even if he was force fed the idea, he was sure his brain would regurgitate it in a sickly denial.

He couldn't be sure.

Byakuya cleared his throat and said, "I only speak from my personal experience, but I think love is a sort've mild obsession. Like with friends and family, you want to make them happy, but you find that your happiness becomes dependent on theirs. You find yourself wanting to share parts of yourself with them that you don't share with anyone else, and you desire for them to feel the same. You want to build a home with them, to grow for them, because when you look at them, you see the best parts of yourself reflected in their eyes..."

Nothing could've prepared Byakuya for the realization that crept upon him. It bloomed in his chest, and with that one instant of recognition, it shot through him with a vengeance. With it came a dread that stuck to him like a thick moss, imprisoning him in the horror of its unruly reality, blocking out all light. By the time he comprehended the danger in this thriving bastille, there was no deliverance to be found. There was no escaping this fact, a fact he should've realized long ago. He was helplessly in love with Ichigo Kurosaki.

Sitting with him there, speaking on the idiosyncrasies of love, it was as if he was making a list of all the feelings Ichigo gave to him.

The pieces of their relationship shifted, creating a whole new picture, and like a dominion effect, one after another, moments between them were seen with a new clarity. Did Ichigo see this in him? Is that why, like Hisana, Ichigo didn't want him to marry, because he knew Byakuya's affection would be inappropriate when he took a wife? Is that why he brought up love, to make it clear his heart was already claimed?

These realizations, they weren't like seeing the light, but like being banished to the darkness all over again. This simple truth, he was frighteningly afloat in it, petrified by this new perspective. Nothing would be the same again.

This fear, it was a fever unlike any other.

"What the hell is going on?!"

Byakuya whipped his head towards Ichigo, reaching out for the man he couldn't see. "Ichigo, what is wrong?"

"I-I don't know," the man yelled, pushing away from Byakuya's touch. It sounded as if he was exhaling glass, the way his breaths came out jagged and pained. "I need to go. I'll-I'll talk to you later."

As Ichigo stumbled to find his footing, Byakuya reached out once again. "Let me accompany you. You are not well," he urged.

"No!" Ichigo jutted away as if Byakuya was a rose with thorns for fingers, beautifully untouchable, and it stung Byakuya with a familiar loneliness. "I'm sorry, I just need to be by myself right now."

And then Ichigo was gone, and there Byakuya was, alone in the dark.

 **xXx**

 **siwon611:** Well we all know Ichigo's a determined guy. So hopefully he'll have something up his sleeve to keep Byakuya out of a marriage. ;) Thanks for the review, love. I'm excited to take this journey with you!

 **Haikha:** Thanks for pointing that out. I'll be sure to change it. It means a lot that you say that. I'm really trying to flesh these characters out and explore their insecurities. I typically try to keep mental notes of people who follow my stories frequently, and I believe you use to comment on a lot of my stories. If so, it's good to have you back, and if not, thank you for reading my humble fiction.

 **spencerxx:** You're enthusiasm made me laugh.(In a good way) lol. I am very flattered. I'm not sure if you have an account, but if you do, you could follow the story and make it easier on yourself. It will send you emails when I update. Thank you for your review and taking the time to deal with these stubborn characters.

 **Guest:** Thank you, love! I hope you enjoyed this chapter also.

 **Tifanny91:** You're right. It's a delicate situation. Not to mention complex. Between the Quincy/Shinigami situation, their stubbornness, and individual insecurities, it won't be an easy development to accept. As you see in this chapter, Byakuya doesn't even consider the possibility that its him Ichigo's in love with. Hugs right back at you, love. Have a safe new years. I hope it's a great year for you.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Fluff, but fluff with a purpose. Again, sorry if there are some major editing problems. I know how that can kill a story, but I don't think there is. I just really wanted to get this out because I'm also trying to get another chapter for another story out today.

 **Terms to know**

Kava tea: Tea made of the Kava herb that makes a person feel completely relaxed and in a rather "mellow" mood. Despite popular belief, it doesn't make you high, but instead, does wonders for anxiety. Also, typically, it taste like pure dog shit.

Haha/Okaasan: The formal Vs. casual way of saying mother.

Ojiisama: Grandfather

Otosama: Dad

Dango/Chadango: A sweet Japanese dumpling/ Green tea flavored dango. Typically served with green tea.

 **Song: "Pot Hole" by Modern Baseball**

 **My Dearest Darkness**

 **xXx**

 **"** **You are the ember of my heart, rather you like that or not."**

Ichigo Kurosaki knew fear. It would be a misconception to think otherwise, though an understandable one. With the way he ran into dangerous situations with a single minded resolution, one might think he cared nothing of his own life, but that wasn't the case. Ichigo just feared losing people more than he did losing himself.

Yes, Ichigo didn't just know fear, he was driven by it. Fear gives you direction, it let's you know what's important. In moderation, fear is good, but when not managed, it can control you.

It was no longer a question of if Ichigo loved Byakuya, but love was a language of its own, ancient hieroglyphics to be discovered and deciphered. There was nothing straightforward about it.

For Byakuya, love had always meant sacrifice. For Ichigo, love had always meant protection, and now, Ichigo wanted to protect Byakuya from himself, from his uncertainty. He wanted to protect what he and Byakuya had from the disastrous possibilities of what they _could_ have.

Before, his fear directed him forward, placing him knee deep in the grit of a battle, a battle to keep the ones he loved. Now his fear anchored him for the same reasons.

But what caused such a fear? Byakuya's life wasn't in danger. He was falling for Byakuya in the remnants of a war, not in the thick of it. He understood Byakuya may not return his feelings. He understood that he was simply a child when it came to love, and he could ruin them with his inexperience and often careless hands. He understood that Byakuya could take a wife and he'd lose him anyway. Ichigo understood all the grisly possibilities, but still, driven by fear or not, he never let it control him in the past. He had long ago learned to stop pushing his friends away and carrying the burden of their live on his shoulders alone out of fear. So why now?

He wasn't sure, but one thing he did know was that he wouldn't take chances with Byakuya's heart. Byakuya broke himself apart for the ones he loved, and if he did return Ichigo's feelings, Ichigo could have the noble on his knees. Ichigo wouldn't carry something so precious with uncertainty. He wouldn't be another block of ice added to Byakuya's fortress. He wouldn't thaw him out just to freeze him again.

Because he did love Byakuya, Ichigo would safeguard his heart. Meaning, until he could understand his own reluctance, he would make no attempts to further his relationship with Byakuya.

Walking back from an afternoon of division training, these thoughts were Ichigo's companions.

 _'Then maybe you should do some soul searching so you won't be so uncertain,'_ Zangetsu offered. ' _That is what I'm here for.'_

 _'Like I have time for that. The festivals tomorrow and the Grand Noble Council's Galla is two days afterwards. Not to mention that weird thing that happened a couple of nights ago...'_

 _'Love isn't really known for its patience, King.'_ When Ichigo said nothing, Zangetsu scolded, _'Then at least stop being so distant towards Moonbeam. For a guy who claims he doesn't want to hurt him, you're doing one hell of a shity job.'  
_  
Ichigo halted, fisting his callused and clumsy hands.

"I know." 

**xXx**

When Byakuya was a child, he took many classes, but his favorite was painting. His mentor once gave him a piece of advice that resonated till this day. She said, when judging your work, always take three giant steps back. Change your perspective, because when you look too closely, you can't see the full picture.

Until he stepped back, Byakuya didn't realize he'd been standing too close to see the truth of his feelings for Ichigo. Up close, all he could see was a cluster of colorful dots, but after he changed his position, it morphed into romanticism on fire.

Blindness made it even harder to see them for what they were. It was a darkness that touched everything, warped his perspective on more than what he took in visually.

Byakuya had been inside a hand full of men and women before Hisana. Not out of love, but out of curiosity or lukewarm lust. He'd never experienced desire without the assistance of vision. He'd never known he could sense physical attraction through the sound of someone's breathing or the feeling of someone's body heat alone, and because of that, he could never give a name to the way his heart squirmed in Ichigo's presence.

When Byakuya made love to Hisana, he held her like a paper doll, with a sweet delicacy. The lust he felt for her was born from a purity, a fervent need to shelter her from the storm of the world, but it was different with Ichigo. Ichigo was the storm.

Knowing Ichigo was like willingly standing on the tip of an ocean side cliff, arms out, welcoming the fury of a rebellious tempest, imploring that it wreck you with its chaos. Knowing Ichigo was passion, and Byakuya built his house in that fire.

Ichigo was changing everything in his life, even the way he felt love.

The noble stood in the kitchen, exasperated yet unable to sleep. Carefully, he made himself tea with the aid of his echo location abilities. He placed the tip of his finger in his cup as he poured in the milk, stopping once he felt heat against his skin. Only, as he turned to put the milk away, he knocked the cup off the counter, scattering the floor with glass and hot tea.

Byakuya braced his palms against the counter, pressing his frustration into the granite. Then he sighed as he knelt down and slowly picked up the shards.

He noticed his hands were shaking ever so slightly, and he clutched them in reprimand as he closed his eyes. He hoped to find composure in a moment of stillness, but the stillness of his body only seemed to highlight the franticness of his thoughts. He tried to avoid it, thoughts about Ichigo, because if left unchecked, between the words he'd never say and his own insecurities, monsters would make their home in his head.

However, Byakuya realized that the calmest corners of his mind were found when he focused on his happiest times with Ichigo. 

**xXx**

_Byakuya and Ichigo exchanged blows right as rain began to fall heavy one the ground._

 _Metal against metal rang in Byakuya's ear as they clashed once more. Ichigo flashed back from their exchange, panting as he skidded across the dampened earth._

 _"Maybe we should hold off. It's starting to come down pretty bad."_

 _"And what if it begins to storm during a battle? Will you hold off then too?"_

 _"Hey! I was just concerned about you, Byakuya. I know how touchy you are about your hair. You wouldn't want to get it wet."_

 _Byakuya relished in the smirk Ichigo wore in his voice, so much so, he put on one of his own. In retaliation, he used Ichigo's divided attention to his advantage and shunpo behind him. He pressed the edge of his blade across Ichigo's exposed throat and spoke in the man's ear._

 _"I see that both my hair and shunpo are still better than yours. Perhaps if you gave as much attention to your fighting as you do your banter, you would not be at the mercy of my blade."_

 _Byakuya released his sword and jumped back into a defensive position. Ichigo chuckled and said, "Okay, Byakuya, I guess I better start taking this seriously then."_

 _"Anything else would be an insult to my pride."_

 _"Well here," Ichigo said, extending his sword and preparing to charge the noble, "let me help you restore it."_

 _The two engaged in a fierce back and forth as the rain fell relentlessly, and Byakuya found that the storm was aiding his echo location technique tremendously. As he continued in their spar, the typically empty contours of the landscape were detailed by the barrage of droplets. Everything was a see-through blue, like a world underwater._

 _After several more hits, Byakuya changed his tactics and directed a low level kido towards Ichigo. He flew back into the mud, and Byakuya quickly pressed the tip of Senbonzakura to his chest._

 _With his forearm slung across his face, Ichigo said, "No fair, Byakuya. You said only swords."_

 _"Have you never heard the expression 'all's fair in love and war?'"_

 _"I was right," Ichigo said, shifting his arm to his side, "You take this way too seriously."_

 _Any response Byakuya had was abandoned at the sight of Ichigo's heavenly translucent face looking up at him. A thousand rain drops drenched him, contouring every nook and cranny, from the slight twist of his lips to the way his eyes pinched at the corners. Byakuya was trance induced, silently ingraining Ichigo's face to memory. Had he'd alway been this beautiful?_

 _Byakuya fell in love with the rain all over again._

 _The moment was stolen as his sword was knocked from his grasp. He felt himself hit the ground, but just as suddenly saw Ichigo's out stretched hand dangling in front of him._

 _"You used my distraction to your advantage." Byakuya interlocked their hands. "I see you are learning."_

 _"Im sort've disappointed, Byakuya." Ichigo pulled the noble up, grinning all the while. "You know better than to count me out in a spare. You practically have to break my arm before I call it quits."_

 _"And you say I take this too seriously."_

 _"If I'm going to have to deal with your smug attitude, I'm going to make you earn it."_

 _Byakuya looked down to where their hands were still interlocked. He reveled in its heat before looking back up to Ichigo's rain-lit face._

 _"You say this, but I know you also take great pleasure in besting me."_

 _"You're one of the strongest fighters I know," Ichigo explained. "Our spars are always a challenge. So yeah, beating yous pretty satisfying."_

 _"Especially when you do it so infrequently."_

 _"Shut up, and pick up your sword, Byakuya. I'm ready to kick your ass again."_

 _Byakuya flashed a tiny smirk before he shunpo over to retrieve Senbonzakura. "Do try to keep up, Ichigo."  
_

 **xXx**

_In the hush of night fall, Byakuya laid in peaceful slumber. That was until he was awoken by the sound of a thud and a loud groan._

 _Ichigo laid like a crumpled up piece of paper with half of his body discarded onto the floor and the other half face down against the futon. He looked up through liquor drowned eyes and made out the sleepily confused features of the noble._

 _"Ichigo, what are you doing in my sleeping chambers?" Byakuya asked as he tugged at the fabric of his garment in hopes to retain a modicum of modesty._

 _"Bkuya... You..'re..not ah tea kettle."_

 _"I would hope no- Wait, what do you think you are doing?" He asked as he felt the futon shift and creak beneath him._

 _Ichigo crawled on his hands and knees, dragging himself onto the futon. He landed on his stomach and sunk into the plush fabric. "I was lookin' for ahh.. kitchen... but mhh, this is much better. What's this stuff made of anyway? It's probably somethin' 'spensive." He yawned. "I likes it."_

 _"Ichigo, how did you get to be in this state? What possessed you-"_

 _"I'll tell ya' howls!" Ichigo shouted, jerking his head up to rest on his elbows, all sleepiness momentarily forgotten for the sake of his drunken diatribe. "It thm' drunkards at the eleventh. They funneled sake down my throat! I mean, okAY, it was kind've my fault for takin' 'hat bet, but I reaLLY thought I could win." He scowled, slamming his fist into the futon. "Damn 'hat Kenpachi." He laid his head back down, talking through a mouth full of futon. "I'm goin' ta' kill 'em. No!" He suddenly jerked up again. "He'd like 'hat. I'm never fightin' 'em again. Yeah," he grumbled, "that's what I'lls do."_

 _When he lowered his groggy head once more and wallowed against the futon, Byakuya said, "Ichigo, go to your room. Now."_

 _"You go ta'_ ** _your_** _room!"_

 _Byakuya huffed. "This is my room."_

 _"Just go sleep in my bed thenss," Ichigo whined, his red face sitting somewhere between a scowl and a pout._

 _"I will do no such thing."_

 _"Thenss we gonna' havta' share."_

 _"Now you are just being ridiculous."_

 _Ichigo made some nonsensical ramblings, but said nothing else of use._

 _"Ichigo?"_

 _Nothing._

 _"Ichigo?"_

 _Snoring._

 _Byakuya sighed, dipped his head, and shook Ichigo's shoulder._

 _"Wake up, or you will not enjoy the way I make you wa-"_

 _The noble's eyes widened when three finger pads pressed against his lips. "Shhh," Ichigo slurred, his sloppy applications slipping down the noble's face. "You..'re too loud."_

 _"You are too intoxicated."_

 _"Havesumm sim-pathy!"_

 _"You did this yourself."_

 _"Okay, oKAY, imma' get up." Trying to push himself up, Ichigo grumbled, "Heartless bastard."_

 _"_ _Oh, so you can say that with perfect execution?"_

 _He managed to worm his way onto his haunches, but that was as far as he got before he placed a palm to his pounding forehead._

 _"Why is everything movin' so fast, Bkuya? I can't... keep... up." Ichigo rested his wobbly head against the noble's collar bone and clutched his forearms. "You make everything stop spinning."_

 _Byakuya sighed and resigned himself to the man's helplessness. As he placed a hand on Ichigo's side to help anchor him, he said, "Take a moment to compose yourself."_

 _"Bkuya?"_

 _"Hm?"_

 _"We're friends, right?"_

 _"I have not yet killed you for your obscene intrusion, have I?"_

 _"Thenss...don't ahh be mad if I get sick, kay?"_

 _Byakuya grasped Ichigo's shoulders and gently shoved him back to obtain a safe distance. "I said I have not killed you yet. Regurgitate on me, and that may change."_

 _Ichigo's eyes bounced around in his sockets like pinballs as he let out a sickly groan, and Byakuya softly shook his head at the sight._

 _"Turn around so that your back is to me. I will take away your nausea."_

 _Ichigo groused and grumbled but complied all the same, collapsing with his back against the noble's shoulder. Byakuya's arms encircled Ichigo's waist, and he placed both hands flat against the squawking stomach._

 _"'Im ah sorry...for this, 'Kuya."_

 _"It can't be helped," Byakuya said with a sigh. "I suppose there is something endearing about seeing you in such a pathetic state."_

 _"Ims not pathetic!" Ichigo hissed._

 _"If that is the case, I can stop and you can walk to your room."_

 _"Okay, yeah, maybeee Imma little pathetic." Ichigo sputtered out truncated curse words in his loopy state before he muttered, "Bastard.."_

 _As the curdling of his gut started to settle, Ichigo moaned in satisfaction and turned his nose into the ivory of Byakuya's neck. The noble's skin flushed, but he ignored the reaction and kept his hands steady._

 _"You smell good," Ichigo garbled, "like sakura. No one should smell thhifs good all ta' time."_

 _"Thank you," Byakuya deadpanned, "It is my D.N.A."_

 _Almost inaudibly, Ichigo mumbled, "I wonder if ya' taste like tat too."_

 _"I-" The noble jerked back at the feeling of Ichigo's warm, sake scented mouth closing in on his neck, causing Ichigo to lose his balance and plop onto the floor with a groan._

 _"God damn, Bkuay! I was jusf cure-ious!"_

 _"You can sleep on the floor. Now be quiet. We must wake in an hour for training."_

 _Ichigo rattled out obscenities about how he'd be damned if he slept on the floor as he used all his strength and coordination to crawl back onto the futon._

 _He flopped down right beside Byakuya and fell into an instant sleep, but this time, the noble decided not to wake him.  
_

 **xXx**

_Because their schedules and duties often caused a good majority of their days to be spent apart, Byakuya and Ichigo rarely ate dinner together. However, on the one day they did, it was interrupted by the elder's personal arran boy._

 _The young man handed the Kuchiki Lord a folder filled with documents, documents Byakuya noticed were not in brail._

 _"The elders would like your immediate response. They also informed me that this document was classified and to be seen by your eyes only."_

 _Byakuya let out a tiny, imposed sigh. He did not enjoy being bothered during his dinner nor did he enjoy being directed to drop everything for something of such low priority. If that wasn't enough to miff him, the elders had thoughtlessly dropped the ball by giving him these documents in regular print. That was, if they truly meant for this to be read by him and only him._

 _He wondered if the attendant had just made a poor word choice or if he actually intended for Byakuya to fulfill such a ludicrous, and frankly impossible, demand. He would've usually asked the attendant to clarify, but he couldn't find it in himself to care at the moment._

 _So, with his normal stoic mask in place, he looked down at the document as if he was actually reading it. He even made sounds of intrigue here and there._

 _He was sure Ichigo was bringing out the worst in him, or possibly, the best._

 _Ichigo sputtered in barely contained laughter when Byakuya extended the papers back towards the attendant, and in his usual aloof manner, said, "Everything looks to be in complete order here."_

 _The attendant stood flabbergasted, unsure of what to say or do. He just looked at the out stretched papers for a few passing moments before he asked, "Lord Kuchiki... are you, um, are you joking?"_

 _Byakuya sighed and placed the papers back on the table. "Tell the elders that Kurosaki Fukutaichou and I will look over them at our earliest convenience."_

 _When the attendant said nothing, just stood there with a loose jaw and shifting eyes, Byakuya said, "You may take your leave."_

 _"Ri-right away, Lord Kuchiki," the attendant said before hesitantly stepping away._

 _Once left alone, Byakuya huffed in annoyance. "I have lost my sense of sight, not my sense of humor."_

 _Ichigo lost it, leaning his head down in a fit of laughter._

 _"I don't think they know you have one. You should've seen that guy, Byakuya. I think he thought you lost your mind. You scared the hell out of him."_

 _Byakuya made a 'hmp' sound and continued to eat his meal while wearing a discreet smile, letting Ichigo's laughter fill him up.  
_

 **xXx**

"Lord Kuchiki."

Byakuya blinked at the sound of Fujita's voice. He realized he'd been kneeling over this pile of glass in complete idleness, though for how long, he was unsure.

"May I help you, Lord Kuchiki?" Fujita asked as she took tentative steps towards the man.

 _'I can only imagine how I must look.'_

"Yes," he said, clearing his throat, "your assistance would be welcomed."

Fujita knelt beside him and began to pick up the shards and place them against the brittle skin of her wrinkled palm.

Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes. "Thank you."

"It is my pleasure." She looked down at the tea leaves and then back to the noble. "You're drinking kava tea, I see."

Byakuya stood up and walked over to a cabinet where he knew the servants kept spare cleaning rags. "You see correct."

"You hate the taste of kava tea."

"Doesn't everybody?" He asked as he slowly made his way back, feeling his way around the counters. "People do not typically drink it for the taste."

"The only time I remember you drinking it was after Lady Hisana's passing," she said nonchalantly.

Byakuya made a noncommittal noise as he knelt down to wipe up the mess he had created.

"In fact, I also noticed that you have intensified your workout regimen."

"Are you perhaps fishing for a confession of some sorts, Fujita-san?"

"Now that doesn't sound all too much like myself." Fujita stood and moved to an empty waste basket that the cooks utilized for their scraps. As she disposed of the glass, she said, "I know you do not go around handing out your most confidential thoughts freely. However, I also know when you're troubled. Sometimes even before you know it yourself."

"Yes," Byakuya said as he stood. "I know."

"Then you also know that you can talk to me if you need to. Sons, they do not like to confide in their Haha. I think it is partially out of fear of disapproval, but even more so, I don't think anyone enjoys being read so well by another person." As Fujita's washed her hands, she hummed in consideration. "However, they also know that their Haha are there whenever they can confide in no one else, not even themselves."

"You so easily place yourself in the shoes of my Haha?"

Fujita turned as she dried her hands on a dishcloth, a ridge stiffness holding her lips. "Now Lord Kuchiki, I could only dream of having half the grace and beauty that Lady Midori did, and I often wish she had lived if only so you could have been influenced by her. I will never be Lady Midori or fill the void of her absence. Still, like with your Otōsama and Ojiisama, I played a large role in raising you, and I do not think it to be so arrogant of me to considered myself more than a mere attendant."

Marginally, Byakuya declined his head in repentance. "I did not mean to offend you Fujita-san. You are, of course, an irreplaceable fixture in both my home and my life." Byakuya tilted his head back up and corrected himself. "In our home."

"I know this even without you speaking it." Fujita walked over to the Kuchiki lord and cupped her hands around his proud features. "But sometimes words need articulation to avoid miscommunication."

"What are you implying, Fujita-san?"

"My boy," she said with a smile, "I recognize the functions of this routine well. You are fine with day to day stress. So I know it is not the elders nor your position that is giving you trouble. It is typical for you to bury yourself under work, but only when you're having an internal crisis do you do it to such an extent." She put her hands back against her side, but not before tucking a strand of hair behind the noble's ear. "You like to preoccupy your mind."

When Byakuya said nothing, she walked over to the stove and began preparing a fresh pot of tea. "If I had to take a gander, I would guess you have found yourself enamored by someone."

"I suppose it would be silly to ask how you have figured this."

Fujita hummed in agreement as she filled the kettle with water.

"Some things are left better unsaid."

"So you intend to do nothing about these feelings. Why?"

"Because," Byakuya responded honestly, "I can see only the ways this would end badly."

"You believe they would not share in your feelings?"

"They couldn't possibly," Byakuya explained. "They are loved by many, and I can not see anything I have to ofter them. At least, nothing that they would want."

Fujita put the kettle on the burner before walking back over to the noble. "I have always found it amazing how you can be both so confident and yet not at the same time."

"I am confident that I am a self aware man. I know my own shortcomings."

"Shortcomings are to be loved too, and feelings are to be shared." She placed a tender hand against his arm. "If you love this person, you should give them the benefit of choosing for themselves what to do with these feelings. Is it so impossible to think they could share in them?"

Byakuya's eyes shifted in consideration before he said, "Even on the off chance that they do, I would not ask them to tether themselves to such a complicated life. Despite our privileges, the life of a Kuchiki is both strenuous and filled with sacrifices. As is, they have made more than enough of those for me."

"Well," Fujita said with a knowing grin, "anyone who has earned your love is undoubtedly a fighter."

"Byakuya, Fujita," Ichigo said, drawing the pairs attention. "I guess I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep, huh?"

As if in reply, the tea kettle began to whistle. "Ah, it looks as if you're just in time," Fujita said as she moved over to prepare the tea.

Byakuya's tongue sat awkwardly in his mouth as Ichigo walked towards him. Things had been different of late, as if the air around them was thicker, more difficult to move through, and Byakuya wasn't sure how he should act.

Luckily, where his words failed, Ichigo's succeeded. "Hey Byakuya, I just wanted to say I'm sorry," he said in a hushed tone, "you know, about the other night. I shouldn't have ran off like that, and I shouldn't be acting weird around you."

"Have you been?" Byakuya asked flatly. "I haven't noticed."

Ichigo chuckled lowly and said, "You've never been good at lying to me, Byakuya."

Byakuya's feigned apathy deflated. He closed his eyes and said, "I suppose I have not."

He opened his eyes at the feeling of Ichigo's strong grasp around his upper arm. It sat there as it had a dozen times before, as if it simply belonged. Although, Ichigo's presence was like that no matter what it surrounded, uncaring about those who said it was an intrusion, making room for itself anywhere and everywhere it saw fit.

For Byakuya, a man who did not crave the touch of anyone, let alone need it, Ichigo's hands against him felt like a necessity he'd been blinded to. In the same way he didn't understand what his sight meant to him before he no longer had it, he hadn't realized what Ichigo's touches meant to him before he understood that they would never truly be his forever.

That hand felt heavier than it ever had, and he shifted under its pressure. "It wasn't anything you did. I just- I don't really know how to explain what happened without sounding like I'm crazy."

"Many things that may seem insane for someone raised as a human are perfectly normal for those of us raised as a soul. Perhaps I can ofter some insight."

Byakuya could feel Ichigo's hesitation in the way he squeezed his arm before releasing the grasp all together. Finally, Ichigo said, "It was like I was in someone's else's body. The way I perceived things were different, and the feelings I had, they weren't mine."

Byakuya went silent for a moment as thoughtfulness turned into realization. It felt as if he was trying to swallow his own heart. He was no longer cold and impenetrable, but melted, a puddle at Ichigo's feet.

He had to close his eyes to hide away this edifice of misery that erected inside of him. He didn't want Ichigo to see that weakness in his eyes, to see the loneliness inside of him. Ichigo wasn't his. He never was, and he never would be. At most, Byakuya was borrowing him.

 _'Ichigo, you have the ability to break me and not even realize it.'_

"I knew it. You think I'm craz-"

"No, actually, I do not," Byakuya explained. "From the sound of it, you have entered into soul lock with somebody."

Internally, Byakuya focused on the part of himself that wanted only for Ichigo's happiness, and he held tightly to it.

Opening his eyes, he said, "It's a beautiful occurrence."

"What is it?" Ichigo asked.

"It is when two souls are so compatible that they tether intensely, making them lock into place. When this happens, you can tap into their consciousness and vice versa. It's rather rare."

Ichigo went silent for a moment and then asked, "How do I know who I soul locked with?"

"Typically, it is actualized when one soul has an extreme emotional reaction. The other soul involved will be overcame by their consciousness. Usually, there are hints of who that person is in what you perceive through their eyes. Did you see anything that may have been an indicator of who this individual might be?"

There was another long silence on Ichigo's part.

"No, not really," he said finally, his voice teeming with uncertainty and conflicted emotions.

 _'_ _If it were me Ichigo had soul locked with, he'd know instantly. He would've been blind for that instant we locked. It was delusional to even hope for such a thing, but it could not be helped.'_

"Well then perhaps it is the person you fell in love with. Soul lock is not always an indicator of romantic emotions, but it is inclined to those sort've bonds." When Ichigo said nothing yet again, Byakuya asked, "You are in love with someone, yes? This was the assumption I made from the question you asked me that evening."

Meekly, Ichigo said, "Yeah, I am."

Byakuya had never been a man of many words, but maybe he didn't give them enough credit, because no three simple ones had ever rang with such a painful finality as those did.

"Here you are," Fujita said, sitting down two tea cups.

Byakuya picked up his cup promptly, thankful for the distraction.

"You know what would go good with this," Ichigo said after sipping his tea, "Dango."

"Ichigo, it is one in the morni-."

"Ohh," Fujita enthused, "What about some Chadango?"

"And coated in chestnut paste?"

"I'll get the supplies!" Fujita said as she scampered off to the pantry.

"You two are a ridiculous pair," Byakuya said dryly.

"And unstoppable." Ichigo grinned before he explained, "My Okaasan use to say pastries taste better at night, because you know you're not suppose to eat them."

"I see that rebellious root was ingrained into you from childhood." Byakuya sighed before recounting, "My Otōsama preferred time to make pastries was also at night. He would sometimes wake me so we could bake together. He would tell me not to tell my Ojiisama."

"Sounds to me like we should honor their memory." When Byakuya perked a brow dubiously, Ichigo pressed, "Come on, you know you're a much better baker than Fujita and me combined."

"I suppose it would be a shame to watch you two desecrate such a delicacy. Although, do not think I am not wise to you, Ichigo Kurosaki. I know you only want my assistance because you are much too lazy to prepare these by yourself."

"That's not the only reason!" Ichigo declared. "I actually enjoy your company for some strange reason. It's fun watching you break rules, even if their your own personal ones."

Byakuya couldn't help it, the way his heart fluttered. He was pleased by this normalcy that flowed between them so easily. In some small way, he hoped he could always keep this.

"Yo, Byakuya, your eyes..."

Byakuya sucked in a breath. He had been letting his emotions run freely again. "What of them?"

"The specks, their pink," Ichigo marveled with an almost child like wonderment. "Kind've like your sakura blossoms. I've never seen them that color. What do they mean?"

 _'That I am completely yours to break, Ichigo.'_

"That I am hungry."

"Hungry?" Ichigo echoed before chuckling to himself. "I never knew you felt so strongly about food."

"Well I do. Which means we should get started, as I am sure I will be doing most of the work."

"Hey, I'll help! Every cook needs an assistant, right?"

As they walked over to help Fujita, Byakuya savored the moment. It was too late to run away. If this would break him, he'd enjoy every second of it.

 **…**

 **Up next: Fires and Feelings**

 **xXx**

 **Siwon611:** Thanks love! I know it took a hella long time to get here, and this rollercoasters still not close to being over.

 **Tiffany91:** You know how Ichigo can be. Real dumb. lol. Just thoughtless. But, in all honesty, he is thinking of Byakuya. Loves hard for anyone, but he's young and that makes it harder. There are things he has to discover about himself before he's ready to be what Byakuya needs, which he realizes, and that in an of itself is pretty mature. Next chapter will push them closer to their climax. Be warned!

 **Haikha:** I thought so! I understand, I'm a FF author myself, so I always try to comment because I understand the struggle, but I often forget. Thank you for the feedback. It's highly appreciated.

 **Jlarayos15:** Hey, love. Thank you, Byakuya's inner world scene was one of my favorites so far. This story is all about delving into their characters, so I've worked hard on their development. Hope you enjoyed the update

 **Dust-of-moon:** Hope the wait wasn't too late on this one. :) I tried to explain more Ichigo's mindset. To me, he's always been a pretty complex character. Very broken and at times unsure of himself. Thanks for your comment, love!

 **Engkantada1905:** And trust that this rollercoaster his still on the tracts. lol. Don't worry. They'll get there(Eventually) Thank you for your review, love! I'm excited for your reactions of how this plays out.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Don't blame me, blame the story. It writes its self.

 **Song: Say Anything's "Walk Through Hell."**

 **I'll Follow You into the Dark.**

 **xXx**

 **"I'd walk through hell for you.**  
 **Let it burn right through my shoes.**  
 **These soles are useless without you.**  
 **Through hell for you.**  
 **Let the torturing ensue.**  
 **My soul is useless without you."**

Avoidance was an art form when performed by Ichigo. He was a natural of sorts. Before he even grew into his bones, he was taking care of everyone else. It was easier than learning how to ride a bike. He never even needed training wheels or lessons on the craft. There was an added benefit to that talent, an uncanny yet unconscious ability to navigate around his own emotional qualms, qualms that lofted his tongue and kept his internal conflict on a battleground that he'd never let his friends tread across. He did all of this thoughtlessly, and it carried with him through the years. Yes, he was a child prodigy at avoiding.

So when Jushiro asked him 'what next', what new and shocking challenge would he undertake after the peace treaty had been completed, he reflexively tried not to think about Byakuya.

Ichigo was watered down. Most people were in their own ways, but Byakuya crossed over Ichigo's boundaries that filtered out all the part he didn't want the world to see. More importantly, he noble loved those parts. He gave those parts a home, a home so fundamentally necessary that Ichigo's soul locked to it.

Ichigo understood that Byakuya was the one he soul locked with. That much was clear once it was explained to him. He understood that it meant Byakuya could likely reciprocate his feelings. He understood that when Byakuya said pink meant hungry, it meant the noble was hungry for his heart.

So when Ichigo thought about his future, he couldn't not think about Byakuya.

Only, every time he thought about it, he'd tell himself he'd deal with it when the chaos passed, but the steadier things became, the more uneasy Ichigo felt. There was something about the calm that terrified him.

He was an artist, however, the Pablo Picasso of avoidance, and all he needed was a bout of inspiration. Ichigo never did have to look very far for another distraction. If he wanted, he could avoid this until there was nothing left to avoid.

Ichigo forced a cool expression as he stood by a makeshift stage and watched the festival. He had to brace himself against the air. It was cold, the type of cold that could choke you, the type that made your fingers recoil and hibernate within your palms.

It was a typical bash by Seireitei standards. There were vendors and sparklers and paper lanterns. There were hanging lights, a current of chatter that accumulated into a roar, and plenty of alcohol - which, thankfully, helped to abate the awkward atmosphere created by having Shinigami and Quincy at the same event.

The two groups weren't exactly making brunch plans or concocting secret handshakes, but at the very least, they hadn't killed each other yet. That's what Ichigo called a successful evening.

Beside him, Jushiro started coughing into a handkerchief.

"Are you okay? Are you sure you're well enough to do this?"

"Of course," Jushiro said, putting on a strained smile. "You don't have to dote on me, Ichigo-kun."

Ichigo looked at his pitted cheeks and washed out complexion with a frown. "Here," he said, taking off his thick wool haori and placing it around Jushiro's shoulders. "Take this."

"But won't you-"

"Really, I insist."

Jushiro sniffed and pulled the fabric around his bony torso. "You're too nice for your own good sometimes."

"It's the least I can do!" Ichigo contested. "I'm the one who asked you to speak in this condition."

"This condition isn't changing rather I speak here or not. It's like you wrote in your speech, people will die, but it's up to us to make that life worth something."

Ichigo nodded reluctantly before looking back into the crowd. Jushiro placed a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "It will reach them."

"You think so?"

"Yes. Maybe not all, but we can never reach everyone. Not everybody has it in them to understand reason."

Ichigo snorted and turned a tiny smile towards the crescent haired man. "Honestly, I'd settle for just for a couple."

"Well then you've already succeeded." When Ichigo prompted him with a cocked eyebrow, he said, "A lot of us already stand behind you."

"Right," Ichigo said, "I think it's probably time for us to start."

"I think you would be correct" Jushiro laughed, and his breath came out in vapors. "Enough sake has been consumed to make everyone respective, yes?"

"That or drunken ass holes."

Jushiro smiled sweetly. "Let's hope it's the former."

 **xXx**

"Ukitake Taichou speech was really moving." Rukia sipped at her hot tea and looked up to her brother with bright eyes. "Don't you think so, Nii-sama?"

Byakuya declined his head in approval. "Yes, he is an eloquent speaker with much wisdom to embark."

The pair stood patiently waiting for Ichigo to appear, neither attempting conversation, as the pair had never been one for trivial small talk. That was until Byakuya asked offhandedly, "Rukia, are you available Saturday evening?"

"Um, I can be, Nii-sama."

Byakuya cleared his throat and opened his mouth a couple of times in a false start. Rukia had never seen Byakuya fumble with his words, and if it wasn't so abnormal, it might've been endearing.

"As you know, the gala is that evening."

"Yes..."

"These types of events can be exasperating for people who are not use to them. It is best to be accompanied by a date, as it typically makes the evening flow more smoothly." Byakuya closed his eyes for no more than a second before opening them again. "Perhaps you could consider going with Kurosaki Ichigo."

Rukia blinked, and then she blinked again, over and over. "Nii-sama...Are you asking me to go on a date with Ichigo?"

"I am asking you to be his date for the galla. Is that a problem?"

"No-no," she urged. "It's just, isn't that something he should be asking me?"

"Typically, yes, but I assume that, between preparing for this evening and the gala, he has not had much time to consider it one way or another."

Rukia nodded, finding herself short of words. For a moment, she idly rolled the beverage between her palms. "I don't mind, Nii-sama," she finally said, "but...well...You don't think Ichigo and I are romantically involved, right?"

"I do not think about it at all."

"Well we're not!"

Byakuya sighed, and a bit of annoyance penetrated his typically aloof expression. "If you two were involved, there's no need to fear my reaction. Kurosaki Ichigo is a suitable choice for a partner."

"It's not that, Nii-sama!" Rukia interlocked her fidgety fingers around the width of the cup as she explained, "I know everyone thinks Ichigo and I have feelings for each other because I helped him find his powers and because he came to save me, but it's not like that. It could've been anyone that night."

"But it _was_ you."

"Yeah...but," Rukia cut herself off. "How do I explain this? Ichigo and I, were friends, but we're not as compatible as everyone would like to think. I mean, half the time we're together, we argue, and yeah, that's good for us, but..."

"No one can be everything a person needs and especially what they want. Ichigo and I make good friends, but we're not lovers. If there's anyone I would've wanted to marry..." She closed her eyes and reconsidered her words. "Well, it wouldn't be Ichigo."

The rustling of feet and the popping of nearby grease existed around them, but Byakuya seemed to shut it all out. The surrounding gained none of his attention, just Rukia's words.

"I see."

The low rumble of the festival was dampened as Ichigo stepped out to give his speech. Byakuya put her words to the back of his head for now.

 **xXx**

Ichigo had never given a speech. Not unless you counted the occasional impromptu scoldings he'd give while throwing around cheeky school yard punks, though their effectiveness had more to do with the accompanied punches.

Despite his inexperience, Ichigo was past the point of carrying rather this was beyond his depth or not. He was sure it was, but his only options were to swim in spite of it, because Ichigo Kurosaki didn't know how to drown.

As he looked out over the heads of the audience, he could see land. It wasn't too far out, but he needed to pace himself. There was still the galla and the finalization of the peace keeping laws, but even that was just the first leg of this race. He knew he could only carry this cause so far. After a while, it would be up to the Shinigami and Quincy to continue what he started.

Byakuya's pink speckled eyes broke through the fog of people like a lighthouse guiding him home, and Ichigo smiled to himself, finding encouragement in the color that shined only for him.

"After the war ended, all we could see were the losses. Our comrades, our homeland, even parts of ours souls. We would never be the same."

Ichigo's eyes drifted over the audience. They all stood with sullen yet steadied glares. He bypassed his reluctance and continued.

"There was this silent mourning that became almost tangible. For a while, we were buried under it. So we started making as much noise as possible. We started reconstructing not only Seireitei but our divisions and our lives. We found no sense in the silence, because it just left us with all these questions we couldn't answer. Like, what did all the loses mean? Did all these people die solely for others to live? If you were like me, you didn't find any sense in that either." A pause. "But you also saw that, despite the hell we had to walk through, there were good things that happened after and because of the war too. It made us form unlikely friendships and taught us lessons. I won't say that any of that made all the loses worth it. I think I speak for all the Shinigami when I say that we would go back and trade it all if we could, but we can't. All we can do is learn from what happen here and chose to make the best of our circumstances, because if we don't, if we keep repeating the same mistakes, then all the loses really will be worthless."

Everyone was so still, as if a single motion would disrupt the atmosphere created by Ichigo's speech. Amongst the blob of indescribable eyes settled in rapt anticipation, all Ichigo could see was a soft pink. It filled him with the warmness of a long awaited homecoming.

"It's easy to take the actions of a few Quincy and label them all monsters. Especially when you don't know anything about their culture..." Ichigo stopped at the stiffness of his words. Even though there was heart behind what he said, coming from his mouth, they felt too formal to be anything but contrived. "Look," he said, slinging his hands in the sewn on pockets of his garment, "I'm a simple guy. I don't know any fancy words, and I'm not nearly as wise as Jushiro, but I do know this. Your hate, maybe it's justified, but it's selfish. You have to look past your own feelings and think about the consequences. If you fight hate with hate, then that's all you'll have... and we'll just keep repeating these same mistakes... Fightings easy, it's instinctual for Shinigami, but after the fighting is over, when all we have left is the silence, that's when we really find out who we are. We have to be better than this." He inhaled sharply. "We are better than this."

He let out a breath, absorbed the silence, and then, one by one, captains and seated officers alike lifted their swords and shot beams of colorful reiatsu into the sky as a sign of solidarity.

Ichigo put on a smile that warmed up his face. Just for the briefest of moments, looking at the unifying rays of light, he felt overwhelmed by the sensation that everything was going to be okay, and then that's when the blast happened.

 **xXx**

Ichigo, a simple man. Byakuya wanted to smile at the notion. Only Ichigo would consider himself such a thing, but the thought evaded him when he heard a low growl beneath his feet.

Because of his advanced senses, he could, at times, almost feel the earth's movements echo through him, the shifting of tectonic plates, but this was different. This was a growl that grew by the second, filling him with it's malicious strength.

Reflexively, Byakuya did something he'd never done before nor even knew he was capable of doing. He slammed the hilt of his sword into the ground, causing a blast that sent everyone in the near vicinity flying back, and simultaneously, the earth erupted from underneath him.

 **xXx**

It was an instant.

A heart beat.

Just enough for a breath to get caught in his throat. Everything was fine, pure harmony, and then he blinked.

There were two back to back blast broken up by a bright light. Lanterns and strung bulbs crashed into a tangled messed of greater destruction, causing flames to crackle against the cold night air.

It was unfair, the way life could chose to steal away your happiness on whim. What's worst was the way it seemed to find cheap thrills by altering your world in one instantaneous, unexpected thrust, and how it always seemed to happen in the most blissful of moments.

Ichigo opened his eyes, and for a few long seconds everything he took in was through a static haze. There was a hissing in his ear, and he felt six years old again, laying flat on a merry-go-round, looking up to see the colors of the world spinning around him in a dizzy blur.

Finally, the world shifted, and he jolted up. There was a symphony of gasps and screams blanketed by fire and a billowing smoke. Ichigo wobbled to his feet and found that trying to breath was like inhaling cotton. His eyes couldn't move fast enough and neither could his head. How could this have happened?

The captain commander flashed beside him, and the flames reflected a grim disposition in his eyes.

"What happened?!" Ichigo shouted.

"A bomb, I believe."

Ichigo's hands went dull with disbelief before they tightened dangerously. "Who would do this?"

"That doesn't matter right now." The commander bit his thumb and broke the skin. He used the blood to draw a symbol on his arm and then a symbol on the ground. Holding out his palms, the commander recanted, "Black and white net. Twenty-two bridges, sixty-six crowns and belts. Footprints, distant thunder, sharp peak, engulfing land, hidden in the night, sea of clouds, blue line. Form a circle and fly though the heavens need water."

A glowing rectangle formed in front of him, and he moved his hands frantically to form a jillion of roots that shoot up into the sky.

Mentally, Ichigo heard the commander's voice say, ' _Attention, I need all water type zanpakuto users and healers to the stage immediately.'  
_  
Ichigo looked at the commander, his body brimming with incitement.

"What can I do?"

"Nothing until we put out the fire."

He couldn't just stand there doing nothing. He had to help. He had to...

His heart lapsed, and when it began again, he could feel it in his throat.

"Byakuya, Rukia, I have to find them!" Before he could flash away, the commander grabbed his arm, and the look he gave Ichigo made him feel dirty inside. "What th-"

"Listen, Kurosaki-san, I was near the explosion when it happened. Kuchiki Taichou, he used a technique to cause a blast that sent everyone flying back from the radius of the explosion. The bomb, it happened right under his feet."

Ichigo's eyes widened, and his skin felt too tight around his bones. Every part of him was pulsating madly.

"I don't think he made i-"

"I don't want to hear that!" Ichigo shouted, jerking his arm free. "Byakuya, he couldn't be- He's alive and needs my help!"

Ichigo flashed away, refusing to heed the words of warning the commander tried to squeeze in.

 _'He's fine.'_

'Byakuya wouldn't just die like that. He's too strong.'

'He's fine...'

Yes, Byakuya was fine, so why were tears writhing around in his eyes? Why did painful Images keep playing in his head like a gory picture show?

A blood drenched Byakuya.

A mother lying breathlessly on a wet ground.

The wails of a child so powerful that the gods could hear them.

The parting words of a dying man.

The waning smile of a loving mother.

Gray eyes eclipsed by crimson rain.

These flickering thoughts, they raced as fast as he did. They drove him, motivated him with their painful depictions.

Ichigo couldn't see anything. He just moved, moved without direction, moved with a hopeful desperation, Byakuya and Rukia's names exuberant on his tongue. He choked through his screams, but their names were louder and more vigilant than the smoke.

His heart thumped in his ears, and his pulse ticked like an internal clock counting down the seconds he had until it was all futile. He couldn't be sure of how many minutes had past, but he knew enough to know he didn't have many of them. Luckily, it wasn't long before Ichigo saw an ashed covered Rukia leaning against the remnants of a food vendor that sat outside the zone of danger.

"Rukia," he shouted as he ran up to the woman. He grabbed her shoulders and gave her an appraising glare. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said, gathering herself outside of Ichigo's hold. "Just had the breath knocked out of me."

Ichigo tried to follow her gaze, but it was discombobulated and floated lazily over the chaotic landscape.

"Rukia, listen to me," Ichigo urged, "Where's Byakuya?"

Her eyes widened and shook in their sockets as recognition finally found her once more. She pointed one trembling finger towards the flames. "Somewhere in there. Ichigo..." She blinked rapidly and found a way to steady her eyes. "Nii-sama, I think...He's dead!"

"No, he's not!" Ichigo dismissed as he took a few steps back. "He's alive. I would know if something happened to him. I would feel it! He wouldn't just die like that."

He could see the unspoken retort in her eyes.

' _Like Renji wouldn't just die like that?'_

She was right, but he wasn't ready for her to be. Some might call it denial, but Ichigo considered it faith. He had to have faith that Byakuya was alive. Anything beyond that was beyond him, at least for right now.

Before he ran towards the flames, Ichigo said, "Get a healer. Byakuya's going to need one."

 **xXx**

Senbonzakura leaned helplessly against Zangetsu, gasping as he clawed desperately at his armored chest in an attempt to remove the formidable pressure that sat perilously against his lungs.

"Senny, what can I do? Tell me what to do," Zangetsu asked while rubbing Senbonzakura's hair. He tried to keep levelled for the sake of his lover, but it was taking an amazing amount of restraint.

The Samurai's dampened eyes floated upwards and his mouth contorted feebly with each sharp inhale he strained to take. "I...he…"

"Come one, Sunshine. You're the smart one." Zangetsu's jaw clenched, but he managed to keep the applications of his hands gentle and reassuring. "I need you to tell me how I can help...I can't lose you, okay? Who's going to annoy me if you're not around?"

"He...can't see...I...I can't manifest... to... help him...He...can't find...me...He needs to...find me...but...but…."

Senbonzakura's eyes began to glaze over and flutter as his words trailed off into indiscernible slurs. Zangetsu shook him roughly, pleading, "Hey! Wake up! I need you to wake up!"

The Samurai's eyes darted open as he sucked in one huge, harsh breath. "Soul lock!" he shouted before coughing hysterically.

Zangetsu's eye's lit up. "Why didn't I think of that?" he said as he softly yet quickly laid Senbonzakura down. Hovering over the strange spirit in which he'd recently came to realize he'd rather die without, Zangetsu place a bracing kiss against the others forehead.

"I won't let you die!"

 **xXx**

Ichigo charged into the carnage, trying to find a crack in the wall of flames. Only the smog was too thick, and soon a ripple of fire lashed his arm like a whip, refusing him further entry into the inferno.

He didn't allow himself to register the pain as he shot up again with faulty breathing, clogged by whopping breaths and frantic thoughts.

The tears wouldn't stop.

His heart wouldn't slow.

He had to keep going.

He had to get to him.

 _'King'_

"Not now."

 _'I know a way you can help Byakuya, but you need to get out of this mess.'  
_  
Against all instinct to the contrary, Ichigo halted. His legs were shaking with a need to jolt forward, but for Byakuya, he stopped.

 _'He doesn't have a lot of time. Listen to everything I say and don't argue.'_

"Stop wasting my time and tell me what to do!" Ichigo demanded, his voice as whispy and broken as it was the day he watched his mother take her last breath in front of him.

' _First you need to go back to where you saw Rukia.'_

Zangetsu was calm and straight to the point, more so than usual. He was all the things Ichigo just couldn't be in the moment, so he listened despite every cell in his body raging against retreat. He didn't ask questions. He didn't care how Zangetsu knew all of this. All that mattered was getting to Byakuya.

As he shunpo back, the spirit said, ' _You're going to intertwine your spirit ribbon with Byakuya's just like you did before. After that, you_ 'll _know what to do, but it won't work if you don't calm down.'  
_  
When he returned to the where he had previously been with Rukia, he closed his eyes, and the tears stung as they drained onto his cheeks. He took a breath, long and jagged, and with every ounce of resolve and love that he had within him, he calmed enough to make the connection.

 **xXx**

Pain what alive in Byakuya, and perhaps it was the only thing keeping Byakuya alive. There was blood sticking to his eyelids and coloring his lips, and with the way that his thoughts kept wavering, diving into the realm of unconsciousness, Byakuya knew it was the pain of his mangled leg that kept him alert and in the moment.

All around him, he could feel a heat, the magnitude of which was incomparable to anything he'd ever experienced, but that wasn't the most imperative enemy he was fighting against. The smoke would undoubtedly kill him first. So he held his breath, but his head wound wouldn't allow him to keep that up for very long, and as a result, he took breaths through the fabric of his uniform in hopes to filter out just a bit of that black mist.

He knew his intelligence would only go so far. His senses were muddied by the smoke and the stampede of panic. It was a deafening hodgepodge of pure horror, and Byakuya couldn't stand the way it made his ears tremble. This and his injury kept him from finding Senbonzakura, whom he had lost somewhere when he'd been catapulted into this situation. If he could find his sword, the blades of which had the fortitude of steel, he could use the petals to surround himself like a fire-proof wall, but even then, how would he walk with so much damage to his leg?

Eventually the fire would be put out, but he knew better than to think time was on his side. Even amidst these grim circumstances, the irony of his situation did not elude him. Not even a year ago he was faced with a strikingly similar set of choices, only now his deepest instincts were clinging to survival. He knew why. He knew what had changed.

Again, it was Ichigo's face that made him refuse defeat. If this fire was going to take him from this world, from Ichigo, it would have to burn through every bit of his will power. Byakuya would not surrender until his skin was dripping from his bones.

With shaky arms, he crawled onto his hands and knees and attempted to tune into his senses. He inched forward, playing a game of hot and hotter. When his hand touched a flame, he gauged the differences in the heat, trying to figure how close he was to the fire by how hot it felt against his face. He did this over and over, changing his direction every time he got too close, but as resilient as he was, the smoke was more enduring.

As he began to think that this was probably it for him, that these flame would be his deathbed, something miraculous happened. Admittedly, he didn't realize what it was at first, if only out of pure disbelief. He heard Ichigo's voice say, ' _Open your eyes,'_ and at first, he thought it was a simple hallucination from the lack of oxygen, but he was inclined to do as the voice instruction all the same.

His eyes opened to a smokey landscape, and though it was hard to see, he was in fact seeing.

"Ic-Ichigo."

' _Save your breath, Byakuya. I'm going to get you out of here.'_

Not only could he hear it in Ichigo's voice, but he could also feel it as if it was his own. Ichigo's resolve, fear, and desperation, it filled every empty space inside of Byakuya.

When two people entered into soul lock, one person does not take over the other's consciousness, but instead, they share awareness. Now all of Ichigo's capabilities were also Byakuya's. However, it certainly didn't take away his pain nor put breath back into his lungs, and Byakuya knew if he was to pass out, they'd lose the connection. Ichigo must've understood that too, because he wasted no time in forcing Byakuya to his feet.

Byakuya screamed against the incredible pain. He was more disciplined than most, but even he didn't possess the mental grit to stand on such a severe injury. However, Ichigo did. He didn't feel the physical pain, only the emotional, and therefore, was able to make Byakuya stand.

It was Ichigo's strength that carried him.

As Byakuya took steps forward, he began to sob. He had never felt something so grizzly in his life, and yet he had, also, never felt so happy in his life. He could feel Ichigo's guilt, but he knew Ichigo could feel his gratefulness, so they both continued forward until he reached Senbonzakura.

He knew the whole ordeal had taken less than a minute, but the pain dragged on for lifetimes. At least with Senbonzakura's petals around him, he could manage to breath once again.

Within moments, he was exiting the flames.

 **xXx**

When Ichigo saw himself through Byakuya's eyes, without thinking, he dropped the connection. Byakuya fell to the ground, but not before Ichigo could slide to his knees and catch him.

He managed to stand up and carry Byakuya further away from the smoke, but he didn't realize how much energy a soul lock required, because he soon dropped back to his knees.

Byakuya shifted in Ichigo's cradling arms and leaned his head against Ichigo's shoulder. On Ichigo's part, he was overflowing with breathless tears and vaporous laughs of relief.

"Byakuya," Ichigo managed. His throat was scorching, but he was soaring, unable to get enough of how real and alive Byakuya felt in his arms. The thought that he might've never felt Byakuya again made him cry even harder. "You're all right..."

His smile quickly faded when Byakuya gasped against his arms and attempted to muffle a groan. Fingers dug into his charred forearm, but he ignored his pain to assess Byakuya's damage.

It was bad, probably worse than it looked. His leg had bone deep lacerations, and the rest of his body was riddled by gashes, the biggest one gushing from his temple. Ichigo laid Byakuya down gently before ripping both sleeves off of his yutaka, using one as a makeshift bandage for Byakuya's head wound

Byakuya made this godawful gurgling sound, like he was drowning in his own blood, and Ichigo gathered him up in his arms once more. It was all he could do, offer his comfort, or maybe it was to comfort himself. All he knew was that he needed Byakuya's body against his own.

He used the other sleeve to wipe an accumulation of sticky blood and smut from Byakuya's face, making the noble's eyes fluttered in awareness.

"Good, you're awake. Don't slip away, okay? You gotta stay here with me."

He could tell Byakuya was trying to keep the agony off of his face. Even near delirium, he held his pride as closely as his sword.

"Ich... i..go, you're...hurt." he said, lanky fingers lazily tracing the charred skin of Ichigo's forearm.

"This is nothing! Don't worry about me."

"Compared...to me...I suppose...I suppose...you're right," Byakuya said, his voice barely a whisper of itself, a ghost, just drifting in the air before it passed over. Ichigo held him tighter.

"Hey, you're not too bad yourself," Ichigo lied, wishing these thunderous tears would stop spilling his secrets. "You've survived worse."

At least that part was true.

"Yo..you came...after me, right? Don't you...dare... sacrifice yourself...for me..."

Byakuya was gasping, and Ichigo swayed him like one might rock a crying child.

 _'Where are those damn healers?'  
_  
"How could you ask that of me?!" Softly, Ichigo promised, "I'll always run in after you..."

"Ichigo..." Byakuya's features widened and embers of orange and pink collided in his eyes. "If I do...not make it...I want to tell...you."

"Shh," Ichigo hushed, running his thumb affectionately across Byakuya's lips. "You don't get to talk like that. Whatever it is, you can tell me tomorrow. The healers will be here soon... just, you gotta hold on, okay?"

His tears shamelessly fell onto Byakuya's face, and the saline smudged his blood stained lips, lips that quirked into the tiniest of smirks.

"Fine...but if you...must cry...do it over...the flames."

A wet, trembling laugh ripped from Ichigo's constricted throat, and his cracked lips stretched across his swollen face. "Don't make me laugh...you bastard."

The swirls of orange and pink in Byakuya's eyes dimmed like a match, a single fleeting light flickering against an overwhelming darkness. "Why not?" he asked, lifting his hand and brushing his fingers against Ichigo's mouth. "It's such... a... beautiful... sou...nd..."

The hand against him went limp and the last ember lighting up Byakuya's eyes was ate up by the surrounding blackness.

"Nonononono, Byakuya!"

Ichigo's weeping eyes screamed before his mouth could. His heart drummed against his gut which such a force that he thought he might throw up as he gagged and convulsed on his own shuddering heaves.

He screamed for a healer in between murmured pleads that just couldn't reach Byakuya's ears. "Please… please," Ichigo begged, his weeping eyes baptizing Byakuya's motionless face with his despair. "Byakuya… please… I… I… can't… can't do this without you!"

Ichigo pressed his lips against Byakuya's unresponsive mouth. He kissed him through the blood and the ash and the burning tears, and all he could taste was all the moments they shared and all the moments they may never get to have. He kissed him as if all the storybooks had been right and all that was needed to save Byakuya was one act of true love. He kissed him, swearing this wasn't good bye.

"You can't do this, Byakuya. You can't make me love you and then leave." Whimpering, he said, "You can't."

Ichigo could still feel his warmth. He could still smell the lingering scent of sakura on his skin. Byakuya couldn't be gone. He just couldn't be.

"Kurosaki Fukutaichou, stand back!"

He looked up to see Isane, Rukia, and another healer running up to the pair and skidding down to their knees. Ichigo couldn't make his hands let go until Rukia yanked at his arm. Everything went slack as he drew back and watched in wide eyed, mind numbing shock.

His hands wouldn't still and the blood on his face, Byakuya's blood, suddenly felt revolting. He looked down to his hands and then up to the prone figure of Byakuya. One healer was attempting miracles on his tattered leg while Isane manifest what looked like a green pouros slime across Byakuya's mouth. The tiny pores glowed blue and sucked up the air around him.

"What's that?" he asked, flinching when Rukia answered. He had forgotten she was there with him.

"It's purifying the oxygen in the air and forcing it down his t-"

"His heart's not beating!" Isane shouted.

Thoughtlessly, Ichigo jolted forward, caring about nothing other than reaching Byakuya. Good sense be damned. In his frenzied state, Rukia flashed in front of him with her sword at the ready.

Their intense eyes collided, and Ichigo felt as if he was standing in quicksand.

"Don't your remember what you said? Byakuya won't just die like this, but he could if you interfere."

Ichigo closed his eyes and pushed all of his raw impulses down as far as possible. He felt them sink to his gut, slide down his legs, and inhabit his feet, anchoring him to his spot. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and nodded wearily.

Looking up, he saw the tips of Isane's fingers vibrating a blue hue as she pressed them against Byakuya's chest. "Ready," she commanded, and the other healer paused in his procedure, lifting his hands. Her glowing aura pulsed, and Byakuya's body inflated.

Isane checked his pulse once again.

"Still no response. Alright, one more time."

 **...**

 **Up Next: Placing blame,** ** _our_** **inner world, the things we don't say.**

 **xXx**

 **siwon661: This chapter was really hard for me. As much as I write emotions, high intensity chapters like this really drain me. Hopefully you enjoyed it! Thank you!**

 **Anonymous Crew: I guess we'll find out in the next chapter if the attack made thing for the better between them or for the worse. :)**

 **ThousandxSunny: This was such a lovely review. Thank you! I agree that stories with Byakuya being vulnerable arn't very prevalent. Which is a shame, because he's a complex character, and even though he's stoic and reserved, he's still a man with insecurities at the end of the day. I see a lot of people write Ichigo as being rather one sided. Either he's always brash and loud or out going and happy, but I wanted to show them both as whole people. I thought the slow burn might lose people, so I'm glad it has caught your interest so heavily.**

 **Tifanny91: Have you ever hear the idiom 'it has to get worst before it gets better'? I always think of a labyrinth where you have to get further away from the exist before you actually get to it. Or how when you clean, things typically get messier before you finish. This is a step forward, but it may also be a step backwards. We'll see in the next chapter! ;) Until next time, dear!**

 **Kaz the King: As they say, all good things come to those who wait.**

 **tkhiroshi: Thanks for the review! I read a ByaIchi story by you, and I actually really enjoyed it. Wish you would do more. :)**

 **Guest: Thank you!**

 **LustfulAvarices: Haha, it may take more than rope to fix their stubborn asses.**

 **Rosebud: Ah, I'm glad you like it so much! Badass Byakuya is the best Byakuya. Thank you for the review.**


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Hey guys, so this is going to be a rather long author's note but it's something I've wanted to bring up because a few people have questioned me about this and now seemed like the most fitting time to do so. *Takes a whopping breath.* Here we go.

I want to talk about the way I characterize Ichigo in hopes that you guys, the readers, may better understand his actions throughout this story. While yes, it's true that Ichigo is determined and headlong throughout the manga, he's not as linear as that. He's often shown to have doubts in regards to his powers, and when dealing with relationships, he honestly rather not. As shown in the manga, he's typically uncomfortable when the notion of romance is brought up in any form. (This is actually really culturally accurate. Seeing as Japanese men are - these days- more reserved than the woman.) However, I undoubtably believe it goes beyond that. Even with friendships, he's aloof, constantly keeping a soft distance between them while even going as far as the feign unaffected when he's being bothered emotionally( Like when he couldn't see Rukia anymore) A lot of people describe him as brave, and yeah, he most certainly is, but I stand behind my assertion that fear drives Ichigo way more than bravery does.(It's always that memory of his mom's death that pushes him forward) So, what we have here is an eighteen year old boy who is thoughtless(Both because he's fighting some type of war throughout most of the series and because he is - in some ways- emotionally immature/unequipped to deal with relationships.), terrified of losing the people closes to him, and has never been in any type of perceivable romantic relationship. In 'We Do Knot Always Love you'( Which is a post series story that isn't technically cannon, though has gotten Kubo's official seal of approval) it's actually implied that he needs to be pushed/goaded into starting his relationship with Orihime because he's just not emotionally capable of doing so without prompting.

 **Terms to know**

Anata ga hoshii: I want you

 **Song: Catfish and the Bottlemen's 7**

 **I'd walk through the dark to get home to you.**

 **xXx**

" **I love you but I need another second to myself**

…

 **I don't think through things, I never get time cause. I don't think things through"**

Ichigo focused on the hands clasped between his own, every fleeting interval that separated the light thumping of Byakuya's pulse causing him torturous anticipation. He was sure each one might be Byakuya's last, because for him, death was a gunslinger, slaying his loved ones with a swift and sudden execution.

He was infatuated with Byakuya's bodily impulses. By the rise and fall of his chest. By the way his eyes shifted underneath their lids and by the way his fingers twitched every so often. These little proofs that Byakuya was still here, he harvested them, gathered them up so he'd have some comfort to lean on.

The passing of time was nothing more than the background noise of a ticking clock. People came and they went, but Ichigo stayed, focused, wound up, his jaw in a permeant clench. Orihime came to heal Byakuya's leg and Ichigo's forearm. Rukia stayed for a while before checking on her division members and kindly offering to do the same for Ichigo. No one attempted to pull him away. No one offered platitudes or reassurance on Byakuya's well being. Isane said he would pull through, but they knew that wasn't the point.

He kept replaying the events of the night, picking them apart frame by frame, but little came from his obsessive analysis, just feelings of dread, desperation, hatred, and most prominently, guilt.

Ichigo grew up in a clinic. He knew how to administer C.P.R since the age of ten, and yet, when his hands had the most power, the ability to sway the line of faith of which Byakuya's life teetered on, he did nothing. He couldn't even think to do anything. All he saw was the loss, loss so encompassing that he gave into it before it even became inevitable. He blubbered hopelessly, handed over Byakuya's life to something as intangible as miracles and divine intervention, something he had never done before. That's why he kept replaying his inaction, looking down at the hands of which he cultivated to protect others, trying to understand why they had failed him.

Specks of Byakuya's blood stained the underside of his nails, dug its way into crevices that were not so easily reached. It reminded him of how empty and useless his hands felt even while holding onto Byakuya.

At some point, Ichigo accidentally fell asleep with his head rested in his folded arms and Byakuya's damp hair tickling at his elbow. He woke up to the feeling of his surroundings shifting, and not in a slow squinty way, but in a fast, someone's breaking into your house way. He looked down at Byakuya to make sure he hadn't somehow been stolen away.

He was fine. Safe, if there was such a thing when by Ichigo's side.

Ichigo leaned back in his chair, folded up and empty like a cardboard box, and pressed the bottom of his palms deep against his sockets, trying to counteract the pressure bulging from his eyes.

"Ichigo," said a voice so hushed that it could've been mistaken for the patterning of passing by foot steps or one of the many other ambiguous sounds that resided in the healing center.

He jerked up to see Byakuya's eyes opening and closing like a revolving door. The disheveled noble shimmied as the tingling confusion of awareness found his limbs, and Ichigo sat there as if watching the dead come back to life, all wide open and clogged up with disbelief. It wasn't until Byakuya's hand tightened around his own that Ichigo jumped from his chair.

"You're awake. I'm going to get a healer!"

He looked down at the feeling of fingers wrapped around his wrist. The gesture had the fragile longing of a child clinging to their parent's leg. As if to acknowledge they couldn't keep you from leaving, but that they were still begging you not to go.

"Stay," came the request, and Ichigo had to just sit, because Byakuya Kuchiki didn't ask people to stay. He rejected people before they had a chance to leave him with nothing but his raw vulnerability and recurring disappointment. He was too guarded, too prideful, had been through the same repetitious learning experience too many times to convey the heavy sentiment disguised in such a simple word. Only, for Ichigo, he did.

'Stay,' it was so honest in it's neediness, making any further explanation unnecessary. So, without question or hesitation, Ichigo did just that.

Ichigo sat with hands still in Byakuya's, his whole body tight and uninviting like the lock on a door as he let out a controlled, experimental breath. He had to edge his lungs out of their atrophy, because for the first time since he got to the healing center, he could actually breath.

"You seem tense."

"Heh, it's been a tense night."

"Ichigo."

He looked up to see Byakuya's head tilted towards him, his heavy eyelids like window curtains, just barely giving vigil to the colorful world on the other side.

"I'm okay," Byakuya reassured, the blade of his thumb doing laps across the asphalt dense hand of Ichigo's.

The transition from one extreme to the next was hard to digest. While his body wanted to rejoice in Byakuya's wellness, his mind was still kneeling on the ice thawed blades of grass, Byakuya's bloody, stock-still mass dwindling in his arms.

He swallowed, eyes fixed on their clasped hands. "You're okay," he echoed, almost painfully. He shook his head up and down as if verifying the truth in his words before leaning his forehead against the quivering grasp that held onto Byakuya's hands like a shaky promise, and the dame of unshed tear that burned at his eyes with their insistency trickled out in soft, hot streams. "You're okay."

Ichigo kissed Byakuya's hands before connecting their foreheads and cupping his cheek. Byakuya encouraged the touch by placing his hand against the one pressed against his face.

Nature had a cruel manner of marking deadly creatures with the most vibrant colors, colors that enticed you into their lethal proximity. Maybe that's why when Ichigo opened his eyes and saw specks of orange and pink blooming under the coverage of Byakuya's lashes, he felt an immense danger, a danger that held the most comfort and sense of belonging he'd ever experienced in his young adult life.

"Is everyone alright?" Byakuya asked.

"Yeah. There were a few minor injuries, but no one else was seriously hurt." Ichigo sighed, "Thanks to you." His thick breaths added to the humidity of their shared air as he pressed against Byakuya's face more intently. "You sacrificed yourself," Ichigo said, a harshness he couldn't swallow in his voice.

"Are you scolding me?"

Ichigo huffed, almost humorously, as he caressed a lock of hair tucked behind Byakuya's ear. "No, I would've done the same thing… Just, stop almost dying, okay? Are you trying to break a record or something?"

A tired smirk pulled at Byakuya's lips, and Ichigo thought he'd never seen the noble's face so porous. It was soft like the edges of a setting sun. Beautiful like one too.

"Perhaps I'm trying to break yours."

Happiness looked good on Byakuya. So good that Ichigo had to mimic his expression.

"With just this one thing, can you try not to best me?"

Byakuya's fingers drifted along the plains of Ichigo's face like a curious tourist, making pit stops at the bridge of his nose and the crest of his cheeks. "It is not that I do not value my life. I simply did what I had to."

"I can understand that more than anybody," Ichigo whispered.

"And I understand more than anybody how fearful you were," Byakuya said, his tracing fingers lingering as they brushed past Ichigo's lips. "I could feel it inside of me… It was a terrible dread. If at all possible, I will try to spare you from that feeling again. Although, with my position, I can not make promises."

They sat there, their flesh mingling as they exchanging verbal caresses, their words antispeptic, their touches voiceless reminders of what they meant to each other. Nothing existed beyond their mutual immersion. Ichigo could no longer hear the beeping of a heart monitor or smell the chemical fumes of cleaning solution. The only notable things in that moment were Byakuya, himself, and the warmth in his gut.

Ichigo closed his eyes and let out a small, empathetic breath.

"I need to get Isane. She told me to tell her when you woke up."

Byakuya's brow creased in question.

"How long have you been here?"

Ichigo stood with folded arms.

"Look, don't start with me, Byakuya."

A spark of gold surfaced in the black abyss of Byakuya's eyes.

"That long, I see."

"Yeah, that long. You got a problem with that?"

Byakuya sighed and turned his head away from Ichigo.

"My problem is your raucous stomach growling and reprehensible odor."

"It's not my fault that you have superhuman senses!"

"It does not take an extraordinary nose to tell you need to bathe and eat. You are perturbing me. Do not come back until you have alleviated your hunger and foul scent."

Ichigo knew Byakuya too well to be upset by, what many would consider, harsh words. On the surface, they were, but when put into context, there was nothing but concern and affection reflected by his soft reprimands. Byakuya was the type of man who'd usually declare his independence, pridefully deterring Ichigo's guard dog like vigilance, but he, also, knew Ichigo well. He knew how much Ichigo _needed_ to be there, and that it had nothing to do with thinking him incapable or weak. So the words served to let Ichigo know that it was okay for him to be by Byakuya's side, but not at the expensive of his own well being.

Ichigo grinned, allowing his arms to dangle by his side. Sometimes decoding Byakuya's words was like answering a riddle he'd already heard a dozen times before. Nonetheless, if Byakuya could give up a modicum of his pride, it was only right that he returned the gesture.

He bent down and swiped a few tousled, misplaced strands from Byakuya's forehead before gently kissing the hollow between his eyes. His hovering lips moved to Byakuya's ear where he said, "Okay, I'll use the shower in the barracks and get something to eat." He pulled back to see Byakuya's lips marginally parted and his eyes rounded, making his habitually netted brows separate like driftwood floating aimlessly in a sea of contentment. Ichigo smiled at the unusually bare expression and added, "Try not to have any near death experiences while I'm gone."

"Well now you are just asking too much," Byakuya jested, feigning irritation.

Ichigo smirked and forced himself to pull back, resisting the urge to surprise the noble further with a more intimately placed kiss. He had no right to that. When he kissed Byakuya, it shouldn't be with such a grand uncertainty. He wouldn't taint the noble's lips with his fear and apprehension. He wouldn't start something he wasn't yet in the right mind to see through.

But they both knew the silent truth. They both knew it had already begun. It sat between them like a game of chicken where the last one to acknowledge it lost, and Ichigo was certain of his defeat, because he was nowhere near ready to budge.

"I'll be back soon."

Byakuya just nodded, and Ichigo left, a stampede of thoughts galloping through his head.

 **xXx**

Ichigo showered, ate, delegated division duties to Nel, and, unwilling to sacrifice his post by Byakuya's side, brought the daily heap of paperwork back to the healing center. When he returned, he asked Isane for an update before walking to Byakuya's room.

Upon entry, he saw that the noble was resting, much to his pleasure. He didn't want Byakuya to worry about anything, but he knew that if he was awake, he'd push himself to fill out paperwork despite knowing he needed sleep to fully recuperate from his concussion.

He sat with his extended legs resting on the foot of Byakuya's bed. Between the humdrum legality of division bureaucracy, Ichigo's eyes deviated from their task, and instead, landed on the noble. Despite finding the duty tedious, Ichigo was rather efficient at dealing with the paperwork. He was good at it in the same way he way good at school, proficient yet detached. However, the chaotic arrival of newly presented issues caused his thoughts to outgrow his capacity for concentration. Who planted the bomb that hurt Byakuya? Where could he safely dispose their body at when he found them? How would the attack effect the peace treaty and tomorrow's gala? How could he get answers to these questions while not leaving Byakuya's side? Why did Byakuya look so fucking beautiful when his slack, sleep riddled features were being saturated by the rays of a rising sun?

Ichigo slumped deeper into his chair and chewed on his pen. As much as he wanted to stay by Byakuya's side, he was, admittedly, a man of action. He just didn't know how to sit still amongst chaos.

He looked down at the paperwork and then back up to Byakuya.

No, this is where he belonged.

"Well, well, look who it is, our resident Savior."

Ichigo looked up to see Urahara standing in the doorway and Yoruichi leaning against the framing. Their poses and matching smirks looked almost choreographed, but that was probably what a century of companionship did to a pair. It made playing off of each other a natural step sequence.

"Don't call me that."

"How presumptuous, Kurosaki-san. I wasn't talking about you," Urahara said, and Yoruichi let out something akin to a witches cackle.

"Will you two pipe the hell down?" Ichigo hissed. "Byakuya's trying to rest."

Yoruichi sauntered in and ruffled Ichigo's hair. Ichigo swatted her hand away. "We only need to steal a moment of your boyfriend's time."

"Come back later!"

"It is of no use," Byakuya said, adjusting himself into an upright position, "They have already disturbed me."

Yoruichi flopped down on Byakuya's bed and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Sweet dreams, Bya-kun?"

Byakuya's posture stiffened and a purple screamed in his eyes.

"More like a grizzly nightmare."

"I see someone still hasn't forgiven me for leaving them to play flash tag all by themselves," Yoruichi said right in Byakuya's ear. "You really shouldn't hold grudges, Bya-kun. It's bad for your health."

The purple slowly morphed into a red, but he managed to keep (most of) the anger out of his voice.

"Why are you both here?"

Urahara put up his hands as if being held by gunpoint.

"We come in peace," he said, "and with information."

"Information about what?" Byakuya asked.

"Well the stealth squads been investigating the bombing, and Kisuke and I've been helping them."

"And it looks like we finally got a solid lead," Urahara said.

Ichigo stood immediately, hands fisted by his side.

"Who did this?"

"Woe there, Kurosaki-san," Urahara said. "I like the enthusiasm, but we haven't gotten that far yet."

"Well how far have you gotten?"

Urahara extended his arm and opened his hand. A chain hitched cross came tumbling from the exposed palm, dangling on Urahara's middle finger

"We found this at the site of the detonation."

Ichigo looked at it intently, his glare as fixed on the cross as the cross was fixed on the chain. He lifted his obstinate glare to Urahara.

"Are you saying it was one of the Quincy?"

"I'm saying someone wants us to believe it was one of the Quincy."

Ichigo bit his lip and his eyebrows narrowed in confusion.

"They're being framed by a Shinigami," Byakuya asserted.

"Bingo," Yoruichi said as she hopped from the bed and walked over to stand beside Urahara. "You were always smarter than I gave you credit for."

"Wait," Ichigo interrupted, "How do you know that?"

"Well," Urahara explained, drawing the chain back into his grasp. "After some examination, we were able to discern that this is a replica. It's nearly perfect, but not perfect enough."

"It also doesn't have any trace of a reiatsu signature."

"So we're dealing with Shinigami inciters again," Ichigo surmised.

Urahara nodded. "Yes, but that's not the worst of it."

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked.

Urahara and Yoruichi exchanged meaningful looks, once again displaying their dynamic by the way they had a whole conversation with simple eye contact.

"We found the bomb in the underground tunnels. Or what was left of it anyway. Overall, it was pretty simple, something any moron could put together, but there was something special about it."

Ichigo shifted in his spot. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"It had a reiatsu tracker on it. Meaning it wouldn't detonate until it found a specific reiatsu signature." She paused and looked at the noble. "Byakuya's signature."

Ichigo's teeth cupped his bottom lip and his narrowed eyes jutted back and forth between Urahara and Yoruichi.

"What, but- I don't understand." He closed his eyes and shook his head side to side. "Why would anyone want to hurt Byakuya?"

Urahara's hat shadowed eyes cut past Ichigo to look at Byakuya as he said, "We have a theory, but from the look on Kuchiki Taichou face, I'd say he's came to the same conclusion."

"Byakuya?" Ichigo said as he turned to look at the closed eyed, razor straight noble. "What's going on?"

When he said nothing, just took a deep, contemplative breath, Yoruichi spoke up.

"Do you remember how the Quincy took away our bankai?"

"Of course, bu-"

"Well this is kind've the same thing. Whoever did this wanted to take away your strongest power."

Ichigo's face went slack as he mouth the words to himself. The manner of which the syllabus rounded out on his tongue felt wrong, as if he were spewing curse words in front of his mother.

"Kuchiki Taichou has been helping you every step of the way," Urahara explained. "He stood up to Central 46, took Nel into his division, helped you deal with the Quincy nobility. Not to mention the gala tomorrow. Without him, there's a good chance you wouldn't have gotten so far."

"Speaking of the gala," Yoruichi joined in, "hopefully the bombing will play well with the Grand Noble Council. Yuushirou told me they turned your disobedience into a council affair, and depending on if Ichigo's peace keeping laws succeed or not, you'll have to stand before them to receive punishment. You need to watch your back, Byakuya."

"What?" Ichigo asked, voice breathless and blood blazing, finally looking up from the floor of which his gaze had been cemented. He turned to the nobleman, and there were little hints of frustration that his face couldn't conceal "I knew your elders wouldn't be happy, but you didn't tell me you could actually get punished."

"Because, that was of no concern of yours."

"Bullshit!" Ichigo declared. "What kind've of trouble have I gotten you into, and don't you dare lie to me."

Byakuya gave a resigned sigh.

"Urahara-san, Yoruichi-"

"Yeah," Urahara said, tucking an arm around Yoruichi's shoulder and pulling her towards the door, "We'll leave you two to talk."

Once they left, Ichigo turned back towards Byakuya expectantly.

"Well?" he said.

Byakuya scooted over slightly and patted the side of the bed.

"Sit."

Ichigo swallowed hard, but did as requested. He sat on the edge, face dipped towards the floor.

"When I decided to support you, I did not do so through the appropriate channels. While it's acceptable, though frowned upon, to veto the elders dictums, it is criminal to speak on their behalf without first addressing them."

"What could happen to you if Central doesn't pass the peace keeping laws?" Ichigo asked in a hushed tone.

"That depends. Ceremonial lashings, the removal of my executive decision making for an allotted amount of time." Ichigo heard Byakuya sigh and fidget slightly against the scruffy blanket, understanding the trepidation in these slight movements. "This is why I could not get out of my arranged marriage so easily."

Ichigo's clasped hands tightened into a vacuum seal. Even the tears that dripped onto them had no crevices to seep into. An oxygen stealing vice griped his neck, and he was hot all over, the kind've hot that made you want to undress from your own skin.

"They're grandstanding, Ichigo," Byakuya reassured, shifting closer. "They want this to disappear as much as I do. In fact, my elders desired for this to stay within the clan, so I presume that my indiscretion somehow got out, and they had no choice but to take this to the council."

When Ichigo felt a hand on his knee, he looked up to see a blatant concern in the noble's features, making it hard to keep Byakuya's eyes. He didn't deserve his worry.

"Nothing will come of this."

"Is you having to get married nothing?" Ichigo challenged, trying to keep the tears out of his voice. "Is you almost dying nothing?!" A tiny sob cracked his words, and he turned his face away only to have it caught by Byakuya's nimble fingers. His eyes grew as small as he felt, and Byakuya morphed into a beautiful blur through the filter of their oozing.

"Why? Why did you put yourself out like that with your clan?"

"You ask why? Why did you risk your life to fight a war that you had no place being apart of? Why did you give up your life as a human to aid me in my recovery and keep me from throwing myself away? You have given more to both the Gotei 13 and myself than can ever be repaid, while I have done so little in return." Byakuya tutted with a sternly netted brow. "And you ask why I chose to support you."

"Done so little?!" Ichigo snapped. "You've done everything!"

Byakuya flinched, and Ichigo shook his head at the noble's confusion.

"You've given me so much," he said, bracing against his knees and dropping his head so he could talk to his feet. "You've taught me so much...You've gave me a home, Byakuya, and I put you in danger. It's my fault. I-"

"Do not insult my volition," Byakuya scolded, only to tenderly run a thumb over Ichigo's flushed, moist cheek and lower his voice to a soft lull. "I chose this, fully aware of the possible repercussions. I understand how you take the pain and death of all those close to you as a personal failure. I do also, but-"

"No, you don't know," Ichigo said, wrapping his hand around Byakuya's nape and pulling him closer. "This has nothing to do with wanting to protect everyone. It's because it's _you_! It's because I can't lose you!"

A tint of red rushed to Byakuya's cheeks and his lips drooped like succulent hanging fruit. He looked swept, and Ichigo couldn't take it. He was so close, close enough to taste Byakuya's breath. How could he deny himself something so sweet?

Maybe it was the pent up yearning. Maybe it was the emotional triathlon that had been the past couple of days. Or maybe it was just because it was Byakuya, but Ichigo couldn't think to stop himself. He didn't want to stop himself. A heat destroyed him from the inside. It outgrew him, spilt from his ears and filled up his mouth, and somehow, without knowing how he got there, his lips were on Byakuya's.

It was by no means the thing of romance novels. Ichigo sat half off the bed, awkwardly pivoted towards the noble. In his sloppy urgency, their teeth clanked in joining, and like an exuberant yet novice dancer who just couldn't find the beat, his lips moved out of rhythm with Byakuya's.

However, if there was one word he'd use to describe the feeling of their bumbling, bout of impromptu kisses, it was this: Alleviating. It was as if all of his frantic thoughts and prevailing uncertainty were lost to the sensation. They were no longer just belonging to him. As he pressed his lips against Byakuya's, he could feel all of his fraught emotions seep into their kiss. Byakuya carried the weight of Ichigo's heart in his mouth, and it was a catharsis like no other.

Ichigo felt Byakuya's lips twitch against his own, followed by a low, affectionate chuckle that echoed in his mouth. Both of Byakuya's hands moved to sit tentatively against Ichigo's cheeks, and his lips slowed as he took the lead, guiding Ichigo with the sway of his more experienced applications. It was a dance that Ichigo was more than inclined to follow in.

Somehow his bottom lip ended up between Byakuya's attentive mouth. It was being lavished with sensual suckles and pleasurable nips, and Ichigo was fascinated by the gesture, feeling similar to a doe eyed child looking upon a wild new world with rapt intrigue. He didn't know lips could do things like that, nor did he know he could make sounds like the one he just released into Byakuya mouth - something between a moan and a grunt, lusty and piqued.

Then they weren't kissing, and the mere taunting breath that separated their lips felt more like a chasm, a whole expedition in need of undertaking. Their foreheads joined instead, fingers laced, Byakuya's ivory skin acting as the perfect canvas for the blushed hues that contrasted his flinty, aloof features.

He didn't need any visual expression to understand Byakuya's feelings. It was in his actions. It was in his ginger scented kiss and gracious touches. It was in all the words he didn't say, each punctuated by these silent feats of devotions, and they were feats, because Byakuya was a prudent man in both combat and in love. He wouldn't fall unless it was damn well worth the risk of the jump. So, yes, it was easy to understand what Byakuya felt.

How he felt, well, that wasn't so simple.

It was exhilarating, freeing, the type of heart palpitating danger one might seek in the form of base jumping or skydiving. Only, the thrill didn't fit right. It conflicted with what he knew and how he felt about Byakuya.

The noble certainly wasn't a bad boy. He was the graceful aristocratic, the man brimming with charming insecurities and abandoned romanticism behind his fluid mannerism and taciturn manner of speech. At the most, he was Ichigo's home. At the least, he was Ichigo's sanctuary. He was perfect, everything Ichigo never knew he wanted until it was sitting beside him, drinking tea and swapping snippy, taunt intended insults, but maybe that was the problem. Maybe the risks were too high and the potential loses too great.

"I shouldn't of done that," Ichigo muttered.

By the way their bodies circled each others like binary stars, it was obvious he was at war with the flight signals rapid firing in his head. He had never been one for good sense.

"But you did."

Ichigo's eyes violated the noble's face with their debauched dissection. There was nothing pure about his scrutiny.

"Yeah, I did," Ichigo agreed before he merged their lips once again. This time it was kinder, patient, more for the sake of heedful exploration than some animalistic impulse, but like most good things, it ended much too soon.

Ichigo shifted away, back to his safe, touch-less, kiss-less edge of the bed. He needed to breath, and he couldn't think with Byakuya's lips on his like that. He couldn't think at all.

"Sorry," Ichigo said, unsure of why he was apologizing. It just felt necessary. Maybe he was apologizing for being a clueless teenager who had never been in love. Or perhaps it was for not being able to fit into the shoes of the doubtlessly intrepid Savior that everyone attempted to place him in.

"I'm not," Byakuya said, and Ichigo steadied his glare, finding it impossible to look at the noble. "Do you regret kissing me?"

"No! Yes! I mean-" Ichigo sighed, raking a hand through his hair compulsively. "It's complicated."

"You..." His words faltered, and even though he tried to hide it, Ichigo could see he was flustered. Maybe it was wrong, but he liked knowing that Byakuya's tongue only twisted for him.

"You can confide in me."

"Even if it's about you?"

"Especially if it is about me."

Ichigo blinked, looking up as his fingers took turns pressing into his knees, distracting themselves from their want to touch Byakuya. When he did, his head grew an anchor and everything went quiet, but he knew better than to think he could reach out for the noble as freely as he always had.

"First and foremost, I am your friend. While I am, admittedly, biased, I can put aside my emotions easily for your sake."

"Well maybe you shouldn't have to." When Byakuya's mouth went slightly ajar and his head tilted, Ichigo added, "You're always putting others before yourself. Don't you think you deserve someone who, for just once, puts you first... I do."

"I've never thought much on what I deserve. I am more concerned on what I want."

"Yeah, and what do you want, Byakuya?"

Byakuya placed his index finger on Ichigo's shoulder, and like honey, it glided slowly down his arm, leaving a sticky warmth in its wake.

"I want your peace of mind."

Ichigo inhaled roughly at the heady touch.

"Is that all?"

Byakuya sighed.

"What is it that you want, Ichigo? I believe one truth deserves another."

He wasn't sure what to say. After all they had shared in, the last thing he wanted to do was insult their bond by shutting Byakuya out, but the truth felt like cement on his tongue, it was just too heavy to deliver.

 _'Anata ga hoshii.'_

It was such a plain phrase, humble and earnest, and all it would take to express it was the employment of basic articulation, but his vocal chord couldn't find the courage to say words with such lofty consequence.

"I want everything to slow down so I can have sometime to think."

"...I see," Byakuya said, hiding his eyes. "This makes sense. Not only are you young and adapting to a new world, but turmoil seems to follow you. It's reasonable that you'd need time to understand your own emotions."

His words were embellished by hints of disappointment that Ichigo could only identify because he spoke fluent Byakuya. It made his fisted hands strain in frustration. Why couldn't he just say what he meant? Why was he always hurting the person he loved the most?

"Don't misunderstand me," Ichigo said. "I do... have feelings for you, romantic ones, but...I don't know what to do with them." His nervous hands bunched up his uniform and he gnawed at his lip. In a raspy, hushed voice, he managed, "They scare me..."

Byakuya's features went alert, touched by a brisk surge of air, and Ichigo thought he might get sick if nothing was said soon.

"You are not alone in that," Byakuya said, squeezing Ichigo's hand. "I, too, fear my own feelings."

Ichigo squeezed back, and he felt lighter, but only for a moment.

"And now you're getting married, and I don't know what to do with that either. I couldn't ask you to go against your family, not after all the danger I put you in."

"You wouldn't have to ask," Byakuya said, making Ichigo jerk his head up.

"What are you saying, Byakuya?"

"Let me be clear," Byakuya said, visibly swallowing down his hesitation. "I desire you, and I do so with more vigor than I thought myself still capable of. While having an heir is unavoidable, I am willing to fight the elders on the marriage, but," he added, jaw squaring and eyes tapering, "only if you are willing to do the same. When you are determined, you never allow your doubt to overcome you. If I am to go against my family again, I can not accept less than your determination to see this through."

"...Byakuya, I-"

"I am not pushing you. I still have some time before I am expected to pick a wife, and until then, for you, I am willing to be patient. But, Ichigo," Byakuya said with a tenderness in his voice, "no matter the outcome, it will not change our friendship if you do not wish it to."

Ichigo's lips curled upwards and his eyes crinkled at the bravery Byakuya displayed and the compassionate understanding he gave. It felt like he was watching Byakuya bloom in front of him, flourishing from the withering wrath of winter. The once frozen man was willing to give the sun another chance, and what a wonderfully inspiring thing that was, to see his hope overcome his fear.

He was proud and giddy with affection, but he needed to look past the emotions of one moment and give this the thoughtfulness it demanded. The noble's love was like a shattered vase that had reconfigured itself piece by piece. It couldn't be handled with fickle hands.

He arched himself towards Byakuya until their noses were brushing.

"Thanks," he said.

"For what?"

"Just... for everything. You," waving a hand between them, he said, "This, whatever we are, it's meant a lot."

Ichigo leaned in for Byakuya's lips again, frowning to find nothing there.

"Don't," Byakuya whispered. "You should not kiss me like this. I've had enough false hope to last a lifetime."

Ichigo held the hand pressed against his chest and said, "You're right. I'm sorry. That's something I have to earn the right to do." Byakuya cleared his throat with a nod and created some distance between them.

"You should leave."

"Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, but you can not stay here like some glorified babysitter." Before Ichigo could protest, Byakuya said, "We both know you are a man who can not stand to sit still. Being here will do neither of us any good."

"I'm not just going to leave you when there's some psycho out there who wants you dead."

"Whoever this person or people are made an indirect attempt at my life. Meaning they do not possess the power to come for me directly, especially while I'm in a heavily guarded division." Perking a brow, he added, "Besides, if you truly find yourself culpable for my current situation, you will prepare for tomorrow's gala. You would not want my punishment to be on your hands because you were ill prepared, would you?"

"That's a low blow, Byakuya. I know you don't really believe that."

"Perhaps, but you do. Now, go make yourself of some use."

Ichigo scoffed and picked up the paper work. "Fine, but I'm taking this with me. I don't want you trying to do it while I'm away."

"The paperwork is not in braille, so I couldn't without your assistance."

Ichigo tucked a strand of hair behind the noble's ear and let his fingers lazily round the noble's face until they reached his chin. "I'm glad there are some things you still need me for."

Byakuya's eyes fluttered only to settle on Ichigo, rooted and burning, like the charred remains of a tree trunk.

"You are something I want, Ichigo, not need."

Ichigo didn't respond. He didn't think there was anything he could say other than goodbye. So with paperwork in hand, he left Byakuya alone.

 **xXx**

He felt the drizzle of rain before he opened his eyes. For a while, he just listened to the sound, noting the way it pattered against the buildings like an erratic heartbeat, but when he felt the greeting of an uncharacteristic breeze, his eyes opened to a world he'd never seen.

It wasn't a world that exist within a vacuum, rebelling against the laws of nature. It was a world that belonged to something other than a void. It was grounded.

He was standing in what looked like a park. There was cement paths lined by trees, still rivers, and in the distance, he saw what looked like skyscrapers sprouting from the earth. Up above, there were topsy turvy building as there had always been, but from where he stood, they looked far away and otherworldly.

"Hello, Kurosaki-sama."

Ichigo jumped, turning wided eyed to see the bare face of Senbonzakura standing behind him.

"What the hell?! You scared me."

The sword spirit crossed his arms and turned up his nose.

"That is not my fault. Perhaps you should be better at sensing reiatsu."

"Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't sneak up on people. I was a little distracted, ya know?" He paused and looked sharply at the spirit. "Why are you here? How?"

"That should be obvious."

"Well, it's not. No one else has ever been in my inner world." His gaze drifted across the new and unexplored landscape. "Am I even in my inner world?"

"Does it feel like your inner world?"

"Yes… and no. It's weird. Like, I know it's mine, but... it feels different somehow. It's changed. I didn't know they could do that."

One side of Senbonzakura's lips flickered upwards, much like Byakuya's did from time to time. "If people can change, doesn't it make sense that their worlds can too? Didn't you ever get the sense that your inner world, as it was before, was incomplete?"

Ichigo turned towards the river. He watched as the wind cause the surface to wrinkle.

"Especially for those as young as yourself. Your chaotic, senseless world was a manifestation of your journey to know yourself." He laughed nostalgically, smiling. "My master's started out as just patches of soil."

Ichigo snorted, decidedly sitting down in a shady grass covered area. "I know myself then?" he asked, almost finding the idea humorous.

Senbonzakura sat on his haunches beside Ichigo. "Many people let fear stand in the way of the things they know they want," he said offhandedly, looking off into the distance. Ichigo looked at him hard, but when the spirit looked back, so earnest and knowing, his gaze wavered in its confidence, and he simply nodded.

"Do Byakuya and I share a world now? Is that why you're here?"

"It's more complicated than that. More so, you have a mental link to each others worlds. If you wanted to see my masters, all you'd have to do is think it."

There was something enticing in the idea of exploring the crux of Byakuya's soul, but even if the door was opened, Ichigo felt he had little right to walk through it.

"Wheres Zangetsu?"

"Off somewhere bothering the Quincy spirit who lives here too." He touched his face as if he'd forgotten something. "My apologies, Kurosaki-sama. I do not have on my barrings. Zan stole both my mask and my back up mask."

"Uhh-"

"He is goading me," he explained, teething at his lip in genuine frustration. "I can't decide if he is aiming for a fight or for us to make love."

"We- Wait, what?!"

"Which, mind you, I need no provoking to do either of these activities. Nonetheless," the spirit continued unperturbed, flipping a hand casually, "When I figure which it is he wants, I will do the other."

The sword spirit turned to see Ichigo, his features stretched and blood rushed.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Uh,well, I just... I just didn't know you two, well..."

"That we are in love?"

His face was pinched, innocently curious and as blunt as his words. Byakuya was not an easily abashed man, and he always knew what he wanted. He always had to in order to control those wants, so this must've been what he was like when not constricted by a jaded heart and years of ingrained tact.

"You love him...?" Those words were moss on his heart. Each beat was a struggle for air.

Senbonzakura smiled. It was simple and small, but the meaning stretched on for miles.

"He makes my world bigger."

Ichigo blinked, his face unable to settle between a melting happiness or a wrecked dread.

"And you love my Master."

"...Yeah, I do."

"But that's frightening."

Ichigo nodded sheepishly. After a moment, he chuckled grimly, "I was up against the end of the world, and I didn't have any problem doing that. I'm pathetic."

"Well, to be fair, that was different. Your fear of losing your friends prompted you to fight. Whereas your fear now prompts your apprehension." When Ichigo gave him a suspicious look, the spirit said, "Zangetsu tells me many things."

"I guess you're right, but still," he muttered, "I can't help but think I'm letting Byakuya down. He thinks of me as this determined guy who can stand up to anything."

"That's not true," Senbonzakura said with an admonishing shake of the head. "He thinks of you as human, vast and whole. He appreciates both the best and worst of you, finds that those parts are often one in the same. You should know this."

Ichigo looked upwards, feeling the sky's song against his face and remembering when Byakuya told him that the rain made him who he was.

"Perhaps you're projecting. Perhaps you're disappointed with yourself."

Ichigo cupped his nape and rubbed the irritated skin.

"Yeah, well, I should be. I can't really explain it, because I don't understand it myself. All I know is, I want to be with him, but the closer I get to him, the closer I feel to losing him. I mean, just look at what happened last night. Just being there for me almost got him killed..."

Senbonzakura glared at Ichigo, as if studying him for inconsistencies. "You fear losing your closes things." It wasn't a question, but not quite a statement either, and Ichigo stared back, blinking, until a smile crept it's way onto the spirit's face. "You and Master are so very much alike. You know, Kurosaki-sama, you'd be wise to remember that fear means you have something to lose."

"I have everything to lose," Ichigo said unwittingly, shocking himself. "I've never wanted something like I wanted him, not just for myself anyway. He's..." He swallowed hard. "I didn't see him coming. He completely side swiped me."

"He feels very much the same about you."

"It didn't seem like it. He seemed so ready to give us a chance, go against his family. I was surprised."

"He's felt overcame by you since the day you broke me, but for him, you were like a storm he could not keep out. You reminded him that the inevitable death of something should not negate the hope of growth. So he thinks it is an insult to ignore all that you have rekindled in him by avoiding his feelings."

"That is not to say he does not have reservations. He has one hand on the door himself, already expecting the worst. He can not help this part of him, but he's choosing to ignore it, for now. " He paused, shocking Ichigo by running a thumb across his jaw. "But it's different for you, yes? For you, he is like a home that you yearn for, though don't know if you can return to."

He lifted his fingers to brush the soft skin of Senbonzakura's wrist. It felt so much like Byakuya's. He sighed, homesick for his touch.

"Yeah," he said, his voice as unsteady as a set of patchwork pipes.

"You already know what you're going to do," Senbonzakura said, stroking the skin one more time before removing his hand. "You just have to find the courage to go home."

Those words spun in his ears like a lingering whisper until his eyes opened upon Byakuya's desk where he sat doing paperwork.

Ichigo dragged a hand over his face before he looked at the clock. He stood, leaving to check on Byakuya.

….

 **Up Next: The gala, unworthy and unlovable, I want let them take you.**

 **xXx**

A/N: A small note on Ichigo's inner world. I was curious on it's deeper meaning, so I did some research. It represents the idea of "The Hero's Journey." A very common theme found in literature. Basically, it lacks gravity and order to represent Ichigo's youth and how he still doesn't know him self. Whereas Zangetsu represents his "shadow," another common archetype found in literature that's based off of Carl Jung's theory of archetypes. So, to me, it makes complete sense that, the more Ichigo grew, the more his inner world would change.

 **Tifanny91: I know. He's such a lush. And of course he can't die, but I'm pretty evil when it comes to these two, so you know, I had to put them through a bit of hell. Thanks for your comment love.**

 **siwon611: You have sufficiently ruined me. I now listen to that song at least once a day. They remind me of Florence and the Machine or Daughter. Very good. I'm glad the drain payed off. I've been burnt out lately, but I'm trying not to let it effect my quality of work.**

 **Anonymous Crew: Thank you for sticking with this story. Sometimes it feels like a jumbled mess, so I really appreciate it.**

 **Guest: I think my fics need to come with complimentary packs of tissues. lol**

 **Dust-of-Moon: I'm glad you liked it, love. Enjoy!**

 **Engkantada1905: As always, I appreciate your feed back. I hope you thoroughly enjoy this chapter.**

 **fem-nova: Thank you, love!**

 **Emilytaylor5999: *Blushes* I appreciate you saying so. Sometimes I feel as if I'm laking. So It means a lot. Enjoy! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Hey guys. So this took way longer to get out than it should've. I've been totally burned out. I have a problem with depression and there was a mix up at the pharmacy with my meds so I've been a little wanky these past couple of weeks. Would totally appreciate some feedback and motivation.

After this chapter theres only 5 more, so we're almost there.

 **Terms to know:**

yukata: Light wight, festive full length garment.

tsubaki: Camellias

kimono: Kimono are worn differently for woman and men. Men wear theres under a hakama, and typically its made of black silk for extremely formal events

ho-ho: Phonex

ryu: Dragon

tobu hebi: Means Jumping snake. SS version of the waltz (This is my own personal lore)

antirrhinum majus: Snapdragons

Haha: Formal mother

Otōsan: Father

Ryū no odori: Dancing dragon

Onmitsukidō: Stealth squad

zabuton: Floor cushions

 **Song: Banks "Waiting Game"**

 **The Darkness In-between Us**

 **xXx**

" **Baby I'm thinking it over**

 **What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start?**

 **What if it only gets colder?**

 **Would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart?**

 **'Cause lately I've been scared of even thinking 'bout where we are"**

Ichigo's eyes struggled to open, the weight of sleep trying to drag him down. As he transitioned into wakefulness, the first thing he noticed was the sun peeking over the tip of a blooming winter sakura like the crowning head of a newborn. However, it was the aroma of sakura wrapping him up like strong arms that drew his attention. The warm pressure, almost tangible, was a comfort he wanted to burrow into. It reminded him of home, a safe serenity.

He felt feathery fingers wandering over his back, drawing thoughtless patterns, and his whole body sighed into the sensation of hands touching him with the sole purpose of just feeling his skin. Now fully awake, he shifted, his lidded eyes searching. Tucked under his chin was a head of raven, the owner of which was breathing hot air into the hollow between his collar bones. Byakuya mumbled, making soft little snoring sounds, and before Ichigo could recall how he got into this situation, his body was challenging his good sense, making a hot, gooey mess of his insides.

He ran a hand up Byakuya's arm and caressed his sleep tousled hair as he revisited last night. After a whole day of division duties and gala preparations, Ichigo had come to check on Byakuya. When he arrived, the noble was sleeping again. Isane said that it was normal to sleep a lot after sustaining a severe head injury, explaining that his brain was still healing. So he sat in a chair, content with listening to the steady give and take of Byakuya's lungs.

After sometime, the noble woke up and told him to leave so he could sleep in a bed. Ichigo insisted on staying, so Byakuya said, if he was going to be stubborn, then _he_ insisted they share his bed. It wasn't the first time they did. Well, it was the first sober time, but Ichigo told himself it wasn't a big deal. Although his blushing cheeks seemed to disagree, and when they woke up like this, with meshed limbs and commingled morning breath, Ichigo knew they hadn't been wrong. He was just glad that his hands had been obedient, because most times, his body felt more ready than his mind.

Something about waking up beside someone else was so domestic, bizarre in both good and bad ways. Even though he grew up with a relatively typical home life, there was something frighteningly "normal" about this, but not the normal Ichigo was use to. He had to wonder if he could really have something like this for more than a moment. He wondered if he could have a life where the biggest problem on any given morning was how to move from the bed without disturbing his partner. He wondered if he could have a life where the threats to his world only existed in nightmares left over from the war. He had to wonder if a world existed where he could wake up to find that he was the one being protected by the hold of another.

Ichigo could feel the alarms ringing in the back of his throat and in the tip of his head, alarms telling him he couldn't keep this, not for long anyway, and maybe the alarms were right. Maybe Ichigo wasn't meant to have a life full of blissful simplicities. Maybe there was a time where he could've, but there were somethings you just couldn't figure out how to come back from.

Ichigo realized that sometimes moments were all you get to keep, so he enjoyed this one before it was lost to next, whatever that one might bring.

Soon he brushed over the glimpse of ear that poked through Byakuya's hair and whispered against it, "Byakuya, we need to wake up."

 **xXx**

Ichigo stood in front of a full length mirror regarding himself. He'd never been particularly focused on his looks, because while he had enough confidence and self awareness to understand that he was at least a mildly attractive man, something as inconsistent as appearances never really earned his concern. However, draped in a custom made yukata, for the first time since the war, Ichigo's felt flattered by his own attention.

The yukata was, of course, a gift from Byakuya. Ichigo now had his own clothes, but nothing nearly nice enough for the gala. So the noble insisted on having something made, but he hadn't expected something so extraordinary.

It was navy blue, almost midnight hued, and it clung in all the places it should and dropped in none of the places it shouldn't. Added with the way orange and reds flickered from edge of the hem and up the fabric, he looked like a night sky soaked in flames.

It looked as if it had been made with just him in mind, as if it wouldn't look the same on anyone else. Him and the garment enhanced each other perfectly.

He fiddled with the phoenix embellished clasp as his mind drifted. That was until there was a knock on the door.

"Come in, Byakuya."

The noble entered, Artemis at his side. Through the reflection of the mirror, Ichigo saw that the canine was wearing a wreath of winter tsubaki, wagging her tail happily. Surely this was Byakuya's doing. He was both the most ridiculous yet the most serious man Ichigo had ever met, but there was always something very appealing in those conflicting parts of him.

His gaze reverted to Byakuya, only now he was more than looking at him. He was examining.

The noble wore a black silk kimono with slender dragon designs meandering through gold encrusted red and purple floral patterns that embellished the sleeves. The lofty garment made him look broader, stiffer, and as large as he really was, as imposing as Ichigo often forgot he was. Ironically, the overbearing nature of Byakuya's social caliber that Ichigo use to not understand, if not disdained, was now a part of what he loved about him. He loved how Byakuya all too often willingly sacrificed himself for the sake of his clan and their greater influence. He loved how his desires as a noble and his desires as just a man often differed, and yet he fought that war valiantly. He loved how he looked born to wear that kimono, as if it was an extra layer of skin, just as much as he looked born to wear a light yukata, bare toes and loose hair lazily minding the sun.

But Ichigo knew all the things that kimono symbolized and the expectations that came with it. He knew the type of man it took to wear something so heavy, the grit of his backbone. He knew the burden Byakuya felt dressed in this thick skin, how it eroded the him underneath. He knew Byakuya needed to undress from that weight at times and let the raw and often neglected part of himself breath, but even so, he also knew one could not exist without the other. They were both layers of him. He would always keep that kimono and the expectations that came with it. He would always belong to something bigger than Ichigo.

That was something he hadn't fully realized until he put Byakuya in danger with his family.

It wasn't as if Ichigo knew nothing of expectations. He often felt obligated to fit into the contrived image of the 'Savior', but even so, those expectations were abstract, if not at times self imposed, but for Byakuya, they were his birthright. They not only upheld a lineage that gave life to every experience that made Byakuya who he was, but also a social order, influence, and the protection of power. If they were to become lovers, partners, the expectations for their relationship and the expectation of his position would conflict, and Byakuya would be the one left to clean up the aftermath.

"You're bringing Artemis?" he asked

"Of course. She is my sight hound."

Ichigo snorted. "She's a hunting dog, a blind one. Not you're seeing eye dog."

The noble moved deeper into the room, the natural sway of his arms as genteel as ever. He declined his head as if to agree and said, "They do not know this."

Ichigo combed through his hair with his abrasive fingers, smirking at the stately man in the mirror. "Watch out, Byakuya, you're becoming more rebellious than me."

The noble's eyes shifted to the side, as if wanting to roll, and Ichigo thought, ' _There he is, my Byakuya.'_ His Byakuya whose shoulders held themselves just a bit lower, who's face couldn't hold still from the occasional fleeting smirk, whose tongue was teeming with quick wit. That was just apart of Byakuya, but it was the part that belonged only to him.

"Until I storm an unfamiliar society and incite anarchy, I believe you are still the crowning champion in that regard."

Ichigo's attention was diverted at the sound of Artemis tugging at her harness, whimpering in his direction. He smiled down at the canine before kneeling and rubbing her snout. "Nice flower necklace, by the way," he said, grinning, "make it yourself, Byakuya?"

"It is a flower wreath, actually, and yes, I did. Accessories are the most important part of any outfit."

That's when Ichigo noticed Artemis's harness was overlaid with a beautifully engraved wooden chest piece. He stood, saying, "You really go all out, huh?"

"Of course," he said moving closer as he removed a folded up piece of fabric from the fold of his garment. "Speaking of which, I had this made for you."

Ichigo netted his brow at the unidentifiable bronze hued fabric as he reached out for it, but Byakuya was already unfolding it and moving towards him. He stopped and stood within Ichigo's breathing space and looped what Ichigo now realized was a scarf around his neck.

"It is a Kuchiki clan tradition to ofter a scarf to only our closest allies," he explained in his monotonous way as he adjusted the accessory. Ichigo was trying to follow along, but he was much more interested in the way Byakuya's pleasantly curved lips moved than what was coming out of them. There was a world of happiness in the way they quirked at the edges, and he had the immense urge to lean in and taste that contentment. "So when you wear this tonight, there will be no doubt who I stand by."

The possible double meaning of the words dripped from Ichigo's head. They caught in his lashes and dripped into his eyes, glazing his vision.

' _...there will be no doubt who I stand by.'_ Something about that sounded as if it belonged in his ears, like a song he wanted to hear over and over.

Ichigo turned towards the mirror, eyeing the silk scarf wrapped around him in a purposefully disheveled manner. He lifted his fingers to brush against the fabric that both warmed his neck with sentiment and bloated it with guilt. It was smothering.

"Byakuya...this is...beautiful. Is it the same as yours?"

"Yes," the noble said, still picking at the scarf. "It was handcrafted by the same weaver and all."

"Byakuya! I-I can't own something so expensive!"

"You can, and you do."

"But aren't these scarves worth the price of ten mansion or something like that?"

"And that garment you wear is worth seven," Byakuya commented, pausing in his preening. "Your point?"

Ichigo gaped over his shoulder and attempted to turn towards Byakuya, but he was steered back towards the mirror.

"You won't get in trouble with your clan for spending money like that?"

Byakuya shook his head and went back to his adjusting. "This is well within my allotted funds for personal spending, which I am allowed to use as I please. There are few materialistic items that I need, so why not use it to show my affection?"

The inception of dissent writhing on Ichigo's tongue had nowhere to go. At the noble's words, it became hot air that ballooned in his throat, bursting with love.

"Now, will you stop fidgeting so I may finish?" The noble asked, determination pulling at his brow.

Ichigo looked up to the noble, and his eyes crinkled in endearment. "You're ridiculous."

Byakuya's nimble fingers stopped in their priming to rest on the fabric. His eyes turned magenta, the only sign that he was embarrassed. "Well, you are rude. It is very bad manners to decline a gif-"

"I didn't mean it as a bad thing, Byakuya," Ichigo said, twisting his neck as he placed a hand over the one that sat atop his shoulder. "You're really into this, right? The whole dressing others up. It reminds me of something Yuzu would try to do to Karin. Kind've sweet."

He tried to keep a teasing inflection out of his voice. Words like sweet and other sentimental phrases were something he typically only said for Byakuya, but even then, it was often masked by layers of taunting sarcasm.

Byakuya lightly squeezed his shoulders and hummed in consideration. "I suppose. I did not have any siblings growing up, so yes," he admitted, "you could say I am enjoying doing some of the things I never have."

Ichigo turned, a pair of hands connected between them. "This is really something else you had made," he said softly. "You must've really took into consideration what would look good on me. Thank you."

"It was my pleasure," Byakuya said, matching the tenderness of Ichigo's voice. "I am sure you look magnificent."

For a moment, they stood silently, their mutual affection flowing in and around them like an electric current, mini shock waves igniting in their touching fingertips. Finally, Ichigo let out a nervous laugh and said, "Let's hope the council thinks so. You don't think I'll stand out too much, right?"

Byakuya smirked a bit and said, "I think you could be wearing the most drab yukata ever crafted and still be the most bewitching person in the room, but why would you want anything else?" The noble's fingers drifted along with a creeping want, brushing up Ichigo's arm, braving miles of uncharted skin, and Ichigo was stuck between sinking into or tensing up at the touch. All he knew was, he didn't want Byakuya to stop. "You are a constant fire that does not dwindle nor destroy, but lights up the garment only highlights that."

Ichigo had never learned how to accept compliments. Apart of him felt undeserving. So with his free hand, he anxiously plucked at the clasp. "What about the ho-ho? What's that about?"

"You must know of the folklore. The ho-ho represents the coming of a new era, the sun, justice. He has been beaten many times and rarely appears, but he always come again, and when he does, the masses rejoice." He smirked. "Sound familiar?"

Eyeing Byakuya's kimono, he lifted his hand and tentatively traced the dragon pattern. "And what does the ryu represent about you, Byakuya?"

"Ah, ryu were malevolent guardians of the shinto shrines, born with wealth, status, and virtue. You tell me?"

Ichigo smirked, echoing Byakuya's words. "Sounds familiar."

"And that almost sounds like a compliment."

The hand lingering near Byakuya's shoulder trailed up to grip his neck. "Hey," he said, stepping closer, "I have a sweet side too. I'm not all insults and scowls."

Byakuya placed a hand on his side and pulled him closer. Ichigo stopped breathing, scared it would speed up the moment. "If you are not careful, I could get use to such treatment." They joined foreheads, and Byakuya closed his eyes, looking almost in pain. "I am a disciplined man," Byakuya said, voice sounding parched, "but not touching you in the way I desire takes all of my will power."

"How do you think I feel?" Ichigo asked, lips twitching in a mixture of amusement and longing. "At least you have discipline going for you. I have, like, zero impulse control."

Ichigo watched as Byakuya's tongue swiped across the inner part of his slightly parted lips, lips so perfectly round and lax whenever around him, and he had to wonder if Byakuya had any idea how unintentionally beautiful he was.

"Did you know that the ryu and the ho-ho are considered mortal enemy's?" Byakuya asked, his perfect lips tugging in amusement.

Ichigo blinked repeatedly, grip tightening, and thoughtlessly, he blurted, "Or lovers."

From brow to lip, Byakuya's face went slack, a color as pink and fleeting as sakura flourishing in his now opened eyes. "Yes," he affirmed, "when seen together, they represent destruction or marital bliss...They could never be anything in between."

Something in Ichigo loved this, loved when their frivolous conversations led them somewhere only they existed, somewhere only they knew. He wanted to stay in that place, build a home in it, but something else made his feet waver between action and indecisiveness.

Byakuya must've sensed this in the way his grasp faltered because he withdrew his touch and stepped back, hands folded neatly behind his back. "We should take our leave."

"Yeah," Ichigo said. "Let's go."

 **xXx**

The first part of the evening was underway, and Ichigo was already thrumming with a budding impulsiveness. Every fake smile, every tactfully enthusiastic person to engage him in a conversation, it added another stone to the bolder of tension chafing at his spent nerves. But all of these were trivial aggravation compared to watching Byakuya be dragged about, shown off like some prize pig.

The pair took no more than three steps into the hall before Byakuya was ushered away by an elder to meet potential wives. One after one, noble women lined up to be spun in Byakuya's arms. It was machine like, the way he did the same moves again and again, only the partners changing, and Ichigo was amazed at how he could perform such a robotic act with such fluidity. Byakuya radiated with a natural rhythm and flow, but Ichigo knew that this was just one more lesson he had been taught, not out of personal enjoyment but out of some perceived necessity, and Ichigo wondered that if it was just them alone on the dance floor, how would he move then. Would he even like dancing at all?

An ugly sensation of jealously swelled inside of him like the start of a deadly allergic reaction, and to abate the feeling, he told himself Byakuya was just dancing with the darkness in this endless waltz, but it didn't help. It didn't help because it wasn't Byakuya's attention that they had that he didn't, but the circumstances to make it all so easy. They were regal woman, and because of those two inescapably predetermined factors, women, who probably didn't even desire an arranged marriage, could be with Byakuya without consequences, without worrying about putting him at odds with his family.

Only, to give freedom to one part is to smother another. They wouldn't cause him trouble, but Ichigo knew apart of Byakuya liked trouble, needed trouble, and that part wouldn't survive forced nuptials to the perfect clan wife.

 **xXx**

Byakuya concealed yet another sigh as he said his farewells to his fifth dance partner of the evening. All the women were flawlessly nice, but that was the problem. They were too nice.

They were all reserved with a layer of contrived decorum, maneuvering through demurely spoken, hand arranged topics of conversation, all perfectly tactful and very, very empty. He couldn't differentiate from one to the other, their names spinning into an obscurity of repetitive dance moves and bland colloquy.

It wasn't their fault, and surely, he was exhibiting the same behavior that he was condemning, but that was the point. How could any two people whom had this type of imposing upbringing grow to know each other beyond these manufactured absolutes, especially surrounded by all these expectant bystanders?

' _Master, do you realize what you're doing?'_

' _What is that, Senbonzakura?'_

' _You're actually considering potential wives.'_

Byakuya paused, ingesting the words.

' _Well, of course. I have to be prepared for any outcome. Ichigo has made clear that he is not sure of what exist between us.'_

' _Is that logic speaking or your own insecurities?'_

Before Byakuya could respond, an attendant cleared his throat. He reflexively picked up on the cue and extended his hand.

"I present Lady Shihouin Bō-hime."

The noblewoman placed her callused fingers in Byakuya's hand with a sigh. "It is just Bō, actually. Shihouin Bō."

' _A Shihouin... Well, I suppose it would be unfair to judge her based upon that Werecat.'_

The two fell into an easy tobu hebi, and Byakuya immediately noticed that the woman had the most interesting aroma.

"You smell of antirrhinum majus."

"My, what a refined sense of smell, Lord Kuchiki," she said with a teasing inflection to her voice. "Could you also tell me what I had for dinner?"

Byakuya almost fumbled at the words. Taunts were unusual from the noblewoman Byakuya had encountered. Although, this was a Shihouin he was dealing with.

"I'm a seasoned horticulturist. Therefore, I'm familiar with the scent."

"Ah, well, my Haha has an interest in horticulture also. So I grew up helping her tend to her garden, and I took up making perfumes from her harvest."

"I see."

"She once told me that, because of the way they resemble skulls once they've gone to seed, antirrhinum majus are believed to ward off evil spirits. Although," she said with a faint laugh, "I believe the only thing they scared off were the birds in our garden."

Byakuya hummed lightly with a nod. "If it is not too intrusive, may I know why you reject the hime at the end of your name?"

"Because my name is Bō. That is what my Otōsan named me. However, my Haha added the hime on after he died so that it would sound more feminine. What would be people think if I had a masculine sounding name," she remarked dryly, "The horror!"

Byakuya huffed humorously, his brows perking. "Perhaps they would think you are unique. The name is quite… antique."

"Is that you're polite way of saying my name is outdated, Lord Kuchiki?"

"I would never do such a thing," he deadpanned, pursuing his lips to hide their amused flickering.

Bō filled the space between them with frothing laughter as Byakuya lead them into another step sequence. "My Otōsan was an enthusiast of all things antiquated. He thought the arrival of computers in Seireitei was the first signs of the apocalypse."

"So naming you was an act of rebellion, yes?"

"Yes, in a way. I am sure you know all about this, Lord Kuchiki."

"And why do you say that?"

"You're curriculum vitae is no mystery. Husband and brother of a commoner, defier of the council."

"I see the gossip mill is still running sufficiently.

"Oh do not be so sour, Lord Kuchiki," she reprimanded teasingly. "It is human nature to observe interesting things. You are one of the most influential men in the room and one of the most interesting, both of which have a common denominator. You would expect a man of your status and enduring class to be obedient, but it is that strength that makes you a man capable of necessary rebellion."

"Are you attempting to flatter me, Lady Shihouin?"

"I would never do such a thing," she said, mimicking his earlier words. "Just speaking bluntly. I know that women are lining up to sing your praises, and I am sure that gets old."

"It is, at times, tiring."

"Then I promise to never praise you, Lord Kuchiki."

The song was nearing an end, and Byakuya found himself genuinely enjoying someone's company for the first time since the gala began.

"Lord Kuchiki," she asked, "is tobu hebi the only ballroom dance you're proficient in?"

"Of course not."

"Ryū no odori?"

"...Yes, but-"

"You wouldn't deny a lady of her request, nei?" She asked, stepping closer. "Unless, of course, you are not as quick on your feet as you are with your sword."

Byakuya thought for a moment before removing his haori and calling out for an attendant. "No, I am not," he rebutted. "I am quicker."

The attendant walked over and greeted him. Byakuya handed him his haori and said, "Tell the orchestra to play something at 62 measure per minute. Lady Shihouin and I will be performing the Ryū no odori."

When the attendant quickly walked away, Bō said, "People will stare."

"I am use to being stared at."

"Ah, handsome and arrogant."

"I did not say I enjoy being stared at. I am simply stating a fact."

"Well," she said, taking up a new dancing stance, "If they must stare, let's give them something worth staring at."

 **xXx**

Ichigo looked down at Artemis who was nestled into the side of his yukata, seeming hopelessly abandoned.

"It looks like we were both stood up, huh?" he said, bending at the knees to pet the canine. "Byakuya be here if he could."

He looked up to see the noble dancing with another woman. She looked almost familiar, only not really at the same time. Her skin was the shade of sandcastles and her long ringlets were coral like the sky that shadowed them. With specks of gold and green filling in the lines of her hazel eyes, she was unexpectedly stunning.

She matched Byakuya's moves in a coy way that said she knew what she wanted, head just slightly dipped, lips careening and feet carried by the force of confidence, she seemed like the type of woman who'd seen more than most.

On the other side of this dance, Byakuya wore a subtle expression of intrigue as he spoke more words to this woman than any of the others combined. The whole sight was a burden on his eyes, one he didn't know what to do with.

All humans have the capability of being selfish, even a savior. Especially a savior. Ichigo knew it was wrong, but he wanted to take all the things about Byakuya that no one else ever got close enough to see and lock them away, put them in a place where only he was allowed access, reserved and special, because if he did, he could justify being with Byakuya despite the problems it would inevitably cause the noble. He could say that only he had the key to these precious parts of Byakuya, and if not together, they'd be lost forever, but maybe these were just the lies he told himself. Maybe there was a person who could both see true these often hidden parts of Byakuya while not compromising the noble in him, and maybe Byakuya was starting to realize that too.

"Kurosaki-san, how nice it is that you're here this evening."

Ichigo turned to see a tall man with a slender build.

"Uchi! What are you doing here?"

"I am a noble, of course," he said with a tiny smirk, placing the tips of his spread fingers against his chest. "I am not from one of the lustrous four houses as Lord Kuchiki is, but a nobleman all the same."

"Oh, I didn't realize."

"I was hoping to speak with Lord Kuchiki, but it seems his clan is preoccupying him tonight."

"Yeah," he said, trying to keep a bitter edge out of his voice, "duty calls."

"That's fine. I wanted to speak to you also," he said, combing stray strand of silver out of his eyes that looked as if they might have been brighter years ago. "You and that scarf have been the talk of the evening."

Ichigo plucked at the fabric, his brows bunching in confusion. "It's nice and all, but I don't really see why it's worth gossiping about."

"It's not about the scarf itself but the meaning behind it," Uchi explained, "It is a courting scarf, you know?"

Ichigo coughed on a particular big breath, eyes bulging and hands flying in a frenzy. "What?!" He managed between mini gasps, only to hear Uchi's chirpy laughter.

"Oh, its times like these I wish I could still see," he explained as he cradled his stomach that convulsed in an aching delight. "I was simply teasing you. Kuchiki's give hairpieces to there betrothed, one piece while courting and another on their wedding day."

"That's not funny," Ichigo huffed, blowing out fumes of his damped outrage. "Especially with Byakuya over there dancing with potential wives."

Uchi hummed in his unreadable way, fingers hugging each other and chest high. "Lord Kuchiki holds a potion high above most, and that responsibility will transfer onto whoever stands by his side."

His sentence coiled tightly against a wound left untreated, stinging with importance, and something told Ichigo that he should cling to each word. He tugged at his yukata in an odd anticipation and waited for Uchi to continue.

"You two finally realized your feelings towards each other, yes?" He asked, all other sounds dimming at the arrival of that simple question.

"...Yes."

Uchi nodded as if he understood, and Ichigo wondered how Uchi could comprehend something he himself did not.

"He's the leader of the most influential clan in this world and a soon to be father. More than anything, he his a magnificent man with shoulders that can carry anything put upon them." He paused, pointing his chin, and even wearing an empty glare that met nothing but a dark symphony of shuffling feet, even while facing away, Ichigo could feel those sightless eyes touching him all over. "He needs a partner willing to share that burden, or no partner at all. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I do."

And he did. Sometimes he thought that was the only thing he understood.

Suddenly the music changed from a somber melody to something thicker, lively with Latin influences. It was a sound meant to seduce the senses, open them up with its spicy undertones.

Byakuya's partner did not change, but only the way they moved their bodies. They were closer, touching parts that didn't belong to each other. Byakuya's hand laid flat on the small of his partners back as he lead her with a pointed fluidity, his legs straight and steadfast like the strut of a man that knew what he desired. They engaged in this mutual push and pull, claiming the dance floor with their rhythmic navigation. Their path was accented by beats of stillness, an intimate lull where she'd draw circles with her feet in the space around them.

"Is someone performing the Ryū no odori?" Uchi asked.

"What's that?"

"It's a form of ballroom dancing that was influenced by what humans call tango. It's so sparsely performed at these functions."

Ichigo looked at the way they moved as a unit, a meshed spiral touching with more certainty than he ever had when putting his hands on Byakuya.

"Yeah, I can see why," he said, catching his anger in the grit of his teeth.

At the sound of an impressed whistle, he looked to his side to see Kyoraku and Jushiro now standing there. "Look at our Kuchiki Taichou go," he said, gesturing to a multitude of new people joining the pair in their dance. "I'd say he's light a fire, dontcha think, Ju?"

The crescent haired man nodded, a pleased smile on his face, but Ichigo couldn't find anything worth smiling about. So he just stood in a casual indifference as his anger attempted to shimmy it's way through the crevices between his teeth.

Jushiro and Kyoraku gave him varying looks of pity, and their quivered chins and canopied brows made it harder to pretend.

"It's just a dance, Ichigo-kun," Jushiro said.

"Yea," Kyoraku added "It may be more sensual than the tobu hebi, but it's still ballroom. Completely appropriate."

"Yeah, thanks. I know that," he said, one loosely bounded nerve holding back a completely indignant response.

"Well, you just seem… a bit upset."

"Why would I be upset? I don't care who Byakuya dances with."

He almost laughed at how awkwardly unconvincing he sounded as the words leaped from his mouth, but at the very least, the two men were kind enough to let him keep the pride his shitty lie upheld.

They were wrong. It was more than just a dance. It was an audition, a selection process that could take Byakuya away from him, and maybe that was for the best.

"You did this," Kyoraku said, placing a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "You've really brought out something inside of him that I think he even forgot was there."

Ichigo looked at him, blinking, before looking towards Byakuya again. He watched as the woman took his hand. He watched as they stood idle, talking. He watched as they walked away together.

 **xXx**

"You surprised me," Bō said. "You're quite smooth on your feet, Lord Kuchiki."

"For a blind man?"

"You're what?!" she asked, her feigned shock followed up with a girlish chuckle. "I am completely blind sided."

"I am a forgiving man, but such a bad joke is not something so easily looked passed."

She chuckled again and took Byakuya's hand in her own. It was odd, the way her hand felt pressed against his palms thin patch of skin. Her hand was small and yet so brazen, feather weight, slipping into his own with a certainty he'd never experienced. They approached him differently than Ichigo's hands that were heavy with hesitancy, never knowing where to land.

But maybe that's how it was suppose to be. Love isn't something easily carried. Love was more than simplicity and weightless touches.

"Then allow me to make it up to you by stealing you away from the madness."

"How so?"

"Well, as I see it, you have two choices. Continue to dance the night away with noblewoman after noblewoman, or come converse with me on the terrace so that we can become further acquainted."

Byakuya nipped at his lip, contemplating. Truthfully, he would much rather return to Ichigo and Artemis, but Bō was right in his choices. He was obligated to entertain possible wives, but since she was one of those possibilities, it would be acceptable for him to choice to spend his time with her.

Briefly, he considered what Ichigo might be feeling. Certainly he wasn't pleased, spending the night alone while watching Byakuya spin in circles with someone who was not himself, but perhaps this was for the best. Perhaps it would make the situation they were in more real, help him make sense of what he wanted. It sounded harsh, maybe even like an ultimatum, but that wasn't the case. It was just the truth. It was family, duty. It was choices. Byakuya had already made his, and rather these circumstances changed we're now up to Ichigo, but while he decided, Byakuya had to continue living his truth. He just hoped Ichigo could, at least, understand this.

"Very well."

He withdrew his hand and pulled his walking stick from the fold in his kimono. He exchanged some words with a nearby elder before they proceeded towards the terrace.

"Are you a part of the Gotei Thirteen?" Byakuya asked as they stepped through a set of doors to be greeted by chilled winds.

"Yes. I'm a member of the Onmitsukidō. I specialize in deception."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning I can tell when someone is lying. Or more accurately, what someone is feeling by their expressions and body language."

Byakuya's cane bumped against a marble column. He put it away and placed a hand against the railing of the overlook.

"That is… curious. It must be both a blessing and a curse."

"You are right. People are often intimidated by it. Most do not want to be read so accurately…" Her sly voiced trailed off, returning as something denser, full of implications. "At times, I do not want to know what everyone is thinking."

"I can imagine it is burdensome."

"It is a burden that I chose."

"I see...Is this the ability of your zanpakuto?"

"No. It's gained through something even more powerful" she said, a smirk in her voice. "Books and education."

Byakuya smiled marginally, enjoying the way she spoke about things. "Ah, a dying method certainly."

"I'll tell you what, Lord Kuchiki. Let's play a game."

"A game?"

"Yes. You seem curious about my skills, and this way, I can both demonstrate them and learn more about you."

"... Alright then."

"Its called two truths and a lie. It is as simple as it sounds, something I use to do for training purposes actually. You tell me two true things about yourself and one lie, and I will tell which one is the lie and how I can tell this."

Byakuya dipped his head, running a thumb over railing. "Alright," he said, "I learned my shunpo from your Itoko, Yoruichi. I can speak three different languages fluently, and… I want to be married."

He wasn't sure why he decided to say a lie so risky. Perhaps it was to stir up the situation, or maybe he was looking for something he wasn't sure of. Either way, it was out there, and amidst her silence, he waited somewhat anxiously.

"... None of them are lies."

Byakuya narrowed his brows in question.

"When you said you wanted to be married, I saw no signs of lying. However, there was a micro expression of… wistfulness, perhaps. If I had to guess, I would say you want marriage, but not an arranged one, yes?"

He dipped his head shamefully as an answer, only to incline it at the feeling of a hand over his.

"You are not the only one."

"You do not want an arranged marriage?"

"Does anyone?"

"I suppose not."

She sighed and removed her hand. "May I be blunt with you?"

"Please."

"We are noble's. Our lives are dictated by obligation. You more than most. So I can say with certainty, none of these women want to be your wife."

Byakuya didn't know how he felt about that. He didn't want to marry any of these woman either, but it still hurt in a sort've distant way.

"It is not because of you yourself. You are handsome, intelligent, and I'm sure you'd make a fine husband, but as I said, among noble's, you are above us all. No one can truly understand the expectations you live with everyday, the sacrifices, the constant watchful eyes. Whoever you're with, to be able to intertwine themselves to that burden, they must be strong and certain. They must be willing to endure what you endure on a daily basis."

The words sat at the bottom of his gut like little sinkers, and he realized that he'd been looking for something he already knew. Ichigo was strong, and in many things, he was certain, but he was still so young, fresh out of war and into adulthood. There were many things he didn't know about himself. So when he said he didn't know what to do with these feelings, it was obvious what he meant.

Ichigo saw the realities of what it meant to be a Kuchiki. He saw the compromises and the sacrifices, the watchful eyes and the constant string of introspective whispers. It was a large feat for anyone to be the partner of someone born of this life, but for a young man who's never had a real relationship, who was still exploring themselves, it must've seemed like a suffocating prospect. Yes, Byakuya knew his truth, and his truth wasn't something many arms could hold. It was selfish of him to even want that for Ichigo, delusional of him to even think he was worth the weight of it all, but he couldn't help wanting to be. God, how he wanted to be.

Bō's hand was on his again, forward and seeking as her thumb caressed his skin.

"I, however, am a strong woman who knows much about endurance."

He wanted to pull away, find himself outside of this sickly haze. He wanted to feel Ichigo's hands, feel them graze against him with certainty, caress away this tar that bubbled in his gut, swallowed him from within, but he knew that when Ichigo touched him, all he would find is affection that just wasn't quite enough, and something about that was more lonely than them not being together at all.

"Byakuya."

At the sound of Ichigo's voice, he yanked his hand away too quickly for it to appear anything but conspicuous. He cleared his throat and said, "Yes, Ichigo?"

"A lot of people are leaving. Their about to start the open forum."

Ichigo's voice sounded dry and far away, bottomless, and Byakuya wanted to banish the sound.

"It would seem our time is up," Bō said. "It has been a pleasure, Lord Kuchiki."

"Likewise, Lady Shihouin."

"Oh, and Lord Kuchiki," she said in a hushed voice, "I am sorry if my advances made you uncomfortable."

"How-"

"I can tell what a person is feeling, remember? Although, one instant is easy to misinterpret, just one piece in a much bigger puzzle. However," she said with a smirk, side glancing at Ichigo, "I think I understand now. Sayonara."

She made a swift exit, leaving behind a throbbing silence. Ichigo walked towards him and placed Artemis's harness in his hand.

"Have fun?" Ichigo asked, his voice teeming with constrained hostility.

"I was not doing this out of fun, Ichigo, but out of duty."

He scoffed in a way Byakuya was familiar with. It was seething, slapping him with ridicule.

"Really? You're elders require you to have private hand holding sessions?"

Byakuya wasn't sure why he should feel bad. It was Ichigo who kept them stagnate, Ichigo who stubbornly stood with one foot on either side of what they were. Did he want Byakuya to stay in that torturous in between with him, pinning for the day he allowed them to leave? Still, despite not knowing why he should feel bad, he did.

"It is not what you're taking it as. Trust me when I say, what you see is hardly ever the full picture."

"Whatever." He turned and walked away, muttering, "Let's get this over with."

Byakuya followed, forcing his body not to drag. He was conscious of every movement, head declined, shoulders bracing his noble blood. He lived his life with this constant self awareness, still counting the beats of his body as if he was just learning to keep pace. It was easier after so many years of practice, but somehow, Ichigo made it difficult to keep with this same rigid rhythm. Only, as forced as it felt, this ultra state of awareness would always be apart of how he guided himself. He could never move with complete freedom, but if he was willing to slow down, he wondered if Ichigo would meet him somewhere in between.

 **xXx**

The hall was now filled with about two dozen people, excluding the Grand Noble Council who were on a platform near the far side of the room, knelt down on zabuton.

Request were categorized by status, so Byakuya knew Ichigo and himself would be called upon first. For this, he was grateful. He agreed with Ichigo's sentiments about wanting to get this over with. The night and the emotions that came with it sat on him like a wet cloak, and at this moment, he wanted nothing more than to take it all off and enjoy the silent serenity of solitude.

The head elder of the council, who was subsequently the Kuchiki clan's head elder, Daichi, called them forward. They exchanged clipped pleasantries before the Kuchiki elder spoke up.

"You two are here to implore the council's backing for the peace keeping laws, yes?"

"Yes," Byakuya said, nodding marginally.

"Well, you may save your arguments. The council has already reach a decision."

Byakuya's chin perked in surprise as Daichi Kuchiki continued.

"After the terrorist attack made by our own Shinigami, we've agreed that, yes, something needs to be done. I speak for all council members when I say that we are all better off when we are in alliance with the Quincy. However," his tone lowered, shaking a bit, "We have a condition."

Ichigo shifted beside him, and he found himself fighting against his fingers need to fidget.

"What condition?" Ichigo asked.

"You two have undertaken this treaty, in many ways, together. Lord Kuchiki went against his clan to support you, Kurosaki Taichi. Even tonight, you wear the scarf of our clan to show your alliance. In this, you've been partners, and therefore, you share the responsibility."

"Okay…"

Daichi cleared his throat and there was a daunting silence that wrecked the air.

"If we agree to back the peace treaty, Lord Kuchiki must pick a wife and be married in four days time."

…

 **Up next: Following my gut, oceans between us, words we can't take back.**

 **xXx**

 **Tifanny91: It is a pretty creepy situation, but don't worry. It'll come full circle by the end of this all. Well, their on the right track, but the track is full of pot holes. More is still to come. Thank you for your comment, love. xoxo**

 **Guest: Thanks for your support!**

 **For The Love of Things Nerdy: Oh lord. lol**

 **siwon611:Thanks for your review! I like mostly male singers also. Who do you like?**

 **Dust-of-Moon: That's very sweet. My goal was to make the whole encounter flow smoothly, so I'm glad you liked it. Enjoy!**

 **DearlyFictitious: You flatter me. Really. It means the world to know you think so highly of my story.**


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Hokay guy, ya'll got me down on my virtual hands and knees pathetically begging for feedback. Heres the deal: there are four chapters left after this, and I'm going to try to get a chapter out per week until it's finished. I may have to enter into a blood pact with some creature of the night or promise my first born child to do so, but Imma really try. I didn't get a lot of feedback on the last chapter which kills my motivation because it's like I'm screaming into the void. So help your girl Ashes out and drop me a comment(Even if it's mean. I thrive off flames)

 **Terms to know**

I should probably clarify for those who don't know that a "Swan Song" is a song/gesture given when something or someone is dying. It's in relation to the title and a line later on in this chapter.

Imouto: little sister

 **Song: A Great Big World's "Say Something."**

 **The Black Swan Sings at Midnight**

 **xXx**

" **And I am feeling so small.  
It was over my head.  
I know nothing at all**

 **And I will stumble and fall.**  
 **I'm still learning to love,**  
 **just starting to crawl.**

 **Say something, I'm giving up on you."**

Being a Kuchiki was like encountering a continuous series of open doors that you could never pass through. In this, Byakuya learned how to walk away from the things at a very young age. Sacrifice became his native tongue.

That's how it was suppose to be, how it had been for generations, a lifetime of watching all the things he'd never let himself have through a transparent wall of expectations. There would always be something bigger than his own desires.

Maybe it was his fault for always wanting the wrong things. Or maybe his wealth and status were supposed to be some sort of consolation prize, one he should be beholden to, but how could he feel gratified by such superficial things when loving Ichigo made him feel richer than any amount of money ever did?

He should've expected this, because as random as life could be, it was also predictable in its cruelty. He was destined to be a vacant lot. Anytime he tried to build something of his own, his Kuchiki blood would tear it down for resources. It was to the point where he convinced himself for so long that being vacant was what he really wanted, but in reality, he was sparing himself. There was a mercy in having no doors at all, opposed to getting his fingers slammed in every open one he dared to walk towards.

Only Ichigo wasn't just one singular building in the remnants of his once full life. He was a bustling city, alive and expanding. Byakuya was a fuller person because of Ichigo, and he wouldn't stand by obediently and watch it be burned down right in front of him.

"I do not understand," Byakuya pushed, voice pointedly tense, "I was suppose to have six more months left before marrying."

"Yes," Daichi agreed, "but we, the council, fear that once the peace treaty laws are officialized, there will be little to keep you from backing out of our previous agreement. You do recall that it was your decision to support Kurosaki Taishi without our council that put you in this situation, yes?"

"Yes, but I also recall agreeing to the arranged marriage from the very beginning, along with the lies you manipulated me with."

"I never lied. I told you that we needed you to act as an example, and that was and is still true."

"You know what you did, Head Elder Daichi," he stated definitely. "Not only did you lie with the intent to manipulate me, but you later used my choice to aid Ichigo in justifying actions that you had done well before my supposed disregard. Do you not see the hypocrisy in this?"

"I thought you plucked that rebellious streak out of him a while ago," another said, laughing, and with the way they talked about him as if he was a wild horse in need of taming, he wondered if it was them who changed or him. Had they always been breaking him in or did he, until recently, not have a spirit to break? It had been so long since Hisana, it was hard to recall.

"You know better than to come to this council making exclamations of injustice," Daichi dismissed. "What I did was, yes, a fabrication, but it was an executive decision for the betterment of all noble clans and the population of the Gotei Thirteen as a whole. You, on the other hand, acted unlawfully, and not at all like a clan leader should act."

"What I _did_ was, too, for the good of the Gotei Thirteen. For the entirety of Seireitei. Admittedly, I should not have-

"Nonetheless, there is no discussion here. You have your choices, Lord Kuchiki, but I think we both know which one you will pick."

With such a big world depending on his choices, it amazed Byakuya how he could feel so small. It always came back to this, didn't it? If he didn't agree to the council's terms, not only would it hurt him, but more importantly, it would make all of Ichigo's efforts little more than wasted time. He had no choice but to appease the council. For now.

Byakuya closed his eyes and took a bracing breath. "I had expected more from you, Head Elder Daichi."

The head elder sighed, and if he sounded regretful, Byakuya couldn't find within him a morsel of empathy.

"So does this mean you're accepting our condition?"

"Very well… I will marry in four days time."

"Good… And you, Kurosaki Taishi, what is it that you have to say? You've been unexpectedly silent."

Byakuya, too, was curious about Ichigo's lack of reaction. He had expected, if not partially wanted, a typical show of Kurosaki outrage, a string of expletives accented with hints of violence. Something! But instead, there was only this agonizing, almost taunting silence.

There was none of that all or nothing audacity that had become synonymous with Ichigo, none of that uncompromising fire he wielded when protecting his priorities, but maybe that was it. Byakuya was dispensable, a compromise Ichigo could make.

"I have nothing to say about it," he said, and Byakuya realized that words had never been able to hurt him unless they came out of Ichigo's mouth.

"...Because it's not happening."

It was the feel of his voice rather than the words that shook Byakuya. It was creeping. It was thoughtful, holding more weight than it was willing to give away. Mostly, it hid it's anger in it's undertones, hard to hear by unequipped ears but undoubtedly present.

This wasn't Ichigo's typical storm, but the lull before it, sounding more like Byakuya's approach than his own. How many sides did Ichigo have? Had he just witnessed the birth of a new one?

"Excuse me?"

"I think you heard me, Head Elder Daichi. Let's go, Byakuya."

Byakuya's feet felt inclined to follow before his logic had time to give its two sense, but it didn't matter, because Daichi was talking again.

"Are you sure you're making the right decision?"

"Right?" Ichigo echoed calmly, letting the word hang, flustering the air. "We have two very different definitions of right. To me, manipulating someone who has been nothing but dedicated and loyal to his family into a marriage he doesn't want isn't right."

"And what do you know about right or wrong, Kurosaki Taishi?" Daichi snapped. "Because you picked up a sword and fought you think you have a monopoly on moral high grounds? I hate to be the one to inform you, but the majority of the Gotei Thirteen does and did the same thing long before you graced us." He scoffed, and Byakuya couldn't recall the last time he saw him so shamelessly bothered. "Picking up a blade, fighting against malevolent forces, while hard in execution is a cut and dry decision, but only when you've faced something not so black and white, when you've had to make the tough decisions with little comfort other than knowing you had the best of intentions, then you can talk to me about right and wrong, Kurosaki Taishi."

"I think you don't give me enough credit, Head Elder Daichi. I have my experience with decisions like that," Ichigo admitted, a wistful sadness mingling in his voice. "Look, I'm not here to debate morals with you."

"And neither am I. Either way, Lord Kuchiki will marry. So is your futile stubbornness really worth the consequences?"

"I'll find another way."

Daichi tutted. "Is that so? How?"

"I'll present it to Central without your backing," Ichigo declared, "and they'll listen because it's right."

"There's that word again. You do realize that we can both back and oppose new laws and dictates, yes?"

"You would really put the future of the Gotei on the line for one marriage?"

"I could ask you the same thing. I am not risking anything because I know how this will go. You will understand your predicament," he said slowly, stirring each word before adding the next as if to make sure they mix with every part of Ichigo. "You will understand that, to oppose us to is to have your peace treaty fail. You will understand that as a result of its failure, Lord Kuchiki will be the one punished, and because you are a good man, you won't let that happen."

With the silence that followed came a despondency, and Byakuya wasn't sure if it came from the creases of this situation or from within him. Was it's his own hopeless realization that made the quietness crawl through his ear and into his head to burrow and rot? Was that why every second of silence felt like the death of something?

Finally, Ichigo asked, "What you really want here is an heir and for Byakuya to be an example to others, right?"

Carefully, Daichi said, "... Yes, you are correct."

"Then what about the cloning project?"

There were mumbled exclamations of surprise cut off by Daichi. "I have not considered it as a possibility. It's only been used to create children from the dead, not the living."

"But it could still apply here."

"Well, yes, but why would we do this for you?"

"It's not for me," Ichigo declared, "but for Byakuya. And why not? It's a win win situation." At Daichi's contemplative hum, Ichigo said, "Look, I know I don't know a lot about what it takes to be a noble, but I do know that after the war, with so many dead, it's unclear of how the power dynamics will change. Byakuya told me that it's unfavorable to align yourself with another clan while the spectrum of power is leveling itself out. So isn't this the better option anyway?"

While Daichi sat wordlessly, undoubtedly weighing the idea for it's worth, Byakuya was confronted by conflicted feelings. There was something ridiculous in listening to his future be tossed back and forth between hands that were not his own. The reality that his life was and had always been little more than a business negotiation was almost humorous in such a pitiful way, and yet, there was a sincere comfort in Ichigo's advocacy.

In his life, despite his noble superiority, there were always strings pulling on him. His movements were never completely his own, and the dominance he exuded was a mere farce. They created him, and therefore, in many ways, they controlled him. Even when he resisted, pulled back on these strings, his grasp often slacked with loyalty, but Ichigo's hands had always been stronger than his own.

"I see no problem with this as long as Lord Kuchiki is comfortable with it."

Byakuya's eyes opened, and the words came out as if they had been waiting for an introduction. "I am fine with this arrangement."

"Very well. Kurosaki Taishi, you will head to Wandenreich at dawn and begin to draw up a draft for the treaty. Then, only after council approval, will we support this new legislation. We will send a Jigokuchō to inform Kyōraku Soutaichou. Does this fair well with you?"

Ichigo let out a yes that sounded more like a grunt before turning to leave without word to either the council or Byakuya. Before the nobleman could even consider to follow, he was gone.

 **xXx**

A gazebo overlooking a lake near the gathering hall was as far as Ichigo's frustration carried him. He pushed his palms into the railing, giving his feelings to the wood. That was all he could do, feel, feel so much that he couldn't begin the sort through it all.

If you asked Byakuya, he'd say feelings were meant to be managed, sorted into the petulant and the worthy. Whereas Ichigo's philosophy was closer to, I feel, therefore I express or suppress with no room for middle ground. He had found that their views worked best in compromise, the most advantageous behavior yielded somewhere in between sitting and screaming. Only with his emotions cluttering him like a stuffed closet, he couldn't get to that place. There was the too much to shift through.

These emotions only bulged at the sound of Byakuya walking up behind him. Ichigo turned to see Artemis waiting by the bottom of the steps and the nobleman standing in the center, his expression guarded, ready, as if he was gauging the demeanor of an opponent, and maybe he was.

"Ichigo," he said simply, said as he had everyday before, easily and with a staggering amount of tenderness imbued in his rich voice. When Byakuya said his name, it sometimes felt like the noble's tongue cradled it with comfort only reserved for Ichigo. It was calming, but tonight was different. Tonight, it was the turning of a knob. All of those emotions had only one place to go.

"What were you thinking?!" Ichigo shouted, grabbing Byakuya's haori in a flicker of jutting limbs. "Just offering yourself up to get married like, like- Were you so eager to marry that noblewoman?"

The words felt wrong, lacking in their accuracy, but they spilled all over, creating a mess that hid within it something closer to the truth. Maybe he would've considered what that was, but the mouth that collided into his took up everything.

Now he felt only one thing, and that was the heat between their needy lips as they exchanged passion and longing in the form of clumsy applications. It was deep and wet and not a kiss thought into existence, but a kiss born from the consequence of unchecked emotions, and Ichigo, if even just in this moment, didn't need anything else.

Their hands moved more for the need of sensation than a want to savor, rushing over every neglected part with a greedy consumption. They were incapable of lingering, fearing the seconds would slip away from them like they so often did, caring more about distance than depth.

When Byakuya pulled back, Ichigo was clutching onto his forearms as if holding on to the moment, and he found something reassuring in the way Byakuya kept his arms steady against him, both riding this out for as far as it would take them.

"I agreed to the marriage only to buy time so that we might figure out a solution _together_ ," Byakuya said, his breath still on Ichigo's tongue. "Do you really doubt my affections for you?"

That wasn't it. He could feel Byakuya's affection all around him. It was in the scarf around his neck and the hands on his waist. It was in the way he said his name. It was in the bend of his body when they were alone together. His affection was never the question and jealousy certainly wasn't the answer.

"That's not the point," Ichigo said, pushing himself from Byakuya's hold.

The noble frowned. Not in indifference, but in the way a child might when having something taken away from them with seemingly little reason, and Ichigo felt both grateful and guilty at the way Byakuya's face could never hold itself around him.

"Then what is the point?"

Byakuya might as well have asked him the meaning of life, because like that, the answer was hidden within a convoluted array of gray area and life experiences. Ichigo just didn't know himself well enough. He didn't have the insight nor the emotional maturity to be any good at this. He was lacking.

"When I saw you dancing with those noblewoman, I kept thinking that you couldn't be with them, because they'll never know you. They'll never know that you like to read poetry when you can't fall asleep, or how when you have a headache, you take your tea with one sugar. They'll never know that you're fascinated by human festivals or that cute thing you do with your lip when you're concentrating."

Ichigo knew he was rambling, rummaging through that now collapsed closet of thought in search for the point of this all. Somewhere in there was the sentiment he wanted to convey, and if he kept up with this babbling, maybe he'd blunder into what he was looking for.

"But then I thought, maybe they could know all of that."

"And what of it?" Byakuya asked. "I'm not sure I am following you."

Ichigo grabbed his nape, having to consciously control the impulse to stomp out his frustration like a tantrum ready child.

"What I'm saying is, you shouldn't just be married off without any say, but if you wanted to get to know that noblewoman you were dancing with and go at your own pace with her… you should."

Ichigo felt like a tourist in a foreign country, bastardizing each shakily delivered word he attempted. There was something almost right about what he said. Right for who, he was unsure of, because it felt like with the departure of those words something else left him too. With them they took an important part of Ichigo. They felt like loss. They felt like sacrifice, and Ichigo wondered if that was what Byakuya felt like all the time.

He watched as Byakuya's eyes sank deeper into his head, submerged by confusion.

"But that is not what I want, Ichigo-"

"Well maybe it should be," Ichigo snapped, causing Byakuya to flinch. He pinched the bridge of his nose just to have some he could abuse. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be shouting at you. Look, we- we have time now to take this slow." He paused and looked up to Byakuya. "We don't need to label what this is."

His words seemed safe enough, but they caused a change in Byakuya. His eyes burned with the blood orange light of recognition as he chuckled, breathy and curt, and there was something darkly humorous about it, like his thoughts were the butt of some morbid joke. His chest jolted in a quick instant, paired by a small smirk that felt almost masochistic. He was amused by his own agony, laughing in it's wake.

"We do not need to label this, you say? What a romantically idealized way of saying you do not want commitment." He said, spitting daggers. "There are many things that I am uncertain about, but I do know that in a lover, I am looking for a partner, not some complicated fling."

"What happened to being patient?" Ichigo shouted.

"Patient for what?" Byakuya shouted right back, and at the way outrage flagrantly filled every hollow and nook of the noble's face, Ichigo couldn't think to do anything else but admire it. His anger was as red, rare, and rounded as a blood moon, and Ichigo was frozen by the fiery beauty of it all. "I am willing to be patient, but one must know what they're waiting for. I do not expect promises of forever from you, but I am too old and too prideful to be pinning for someone who doesn't even know if they want to be with me."

"I know," Ichigo said, dipping his head, feeling like a pathetic child.

Byakuya sighed, exasperation clear in the way his eyes seemed to shut not by choice but necessity.

"What do you want, Ichigo?"

"I...I...I want you to be mine, but I don't want to have to share you with them! Those stuck up elders who don't give a shit about you. That whole world."

Wrong. So wrong. Wrong didn't give justice to the magnitude of his blunder. Only he couldn't take it back, because he knew there was something real in those words. They were a half truth, and the answer to how he really felt was in the part he couldn't yet articulate. He kept taking pieces of his thoughtlessness and gluing them together into a picture that he hoped Byakuya could be sympathetic towards, but when he looked at him, all Ichigo could see was the mistakes he made reflected in his eyes.

Byakuya looked flatter, airless like the skin of something that once contained all of life's possibilities. He had been punctured by Ichigo's words, and all of the hope and romanticism that extended his now sagged limbs drifted in the air, echos of what could've been.

Ichigo wanted to catch all of that lost momentum and put it back, but he found his hands incapable, useless. All he could do is let it float away, give itself to the night sky.

Ichigo could spot the moment when the seasons changed within Byakuya Kuchiki. The fluid lakes of springs heat were stolen by a harsh and unexpected cold front. Ice castles erected inside of him, and Ichigo knew if he didn't break them now, then they'd only get thicker in the solitude of winter.

He went to say something, but all he could do is catch the frost in his open mouth. The methods he had used to melt Byakuya before had been unintentional, natural in their execution. It wasn't that simple this time. Nothing was.

"I see," Byakuya finally said, " _That_ world is and always will be apart of me. If you do not want that, then you do not want me."

"Byakuya-"

"It is my fault, truly," Byakuya said, his tone bordering on clinical. "I apologize for entertaining such foolish ideas. We should put to rest all discussion about this before it gets further out of hand."

"Byakuya, what… what are you saying?"

"I am saying that men like you do not fall in love with men like me. You are incapable of it." Something about that angered Ichigo, but before he could figure out why, Byakuya was talking again. "It is for the best. I would ruin you, and you would only resent me in the end."

Byakuya began walking away. He made it to the bottom of the stairs before Ichigo said, "So that's it? You're walking away? You don't want this… me anymore."

The noble turned back to him. Midnight had struck in his eyes, dark blue, the color of love in vain.

"I believe we wanted this before we realized what this actually meant."

Ichigo wanted to grab the noble, stop him, put light back in his eyes, but as the saying goes, actions are meant to back up words, and if he didn't even have those, where did that leave him?

Struck by silence, he watched as the noble left, a snowstorm trapped within moving limbs.

 **xXx**

Ichigo stood freshly showered and stark naked in front of a full length mirror. He dressed himself slowly, ignoring the pain in his chest as he did so.

He grabbed his haori from a coat rack, and like it did for the past couple of days, his hand hovered over the hanging scarf in indecisiveness. After a few conflicted seconds, he dropped his hand and grunted. He wasn't sure why he brought that thing. Possibly to torture himself.

Ichigo left his guest room and made his way through the long hallways of Ishida's palace, every step like walking on wet sand. He had traded out one mansion for another, and right now he'd do anything for a modest house with shabby furniture. His world seemed too big these days.

Although being mansions were where the similarities place had none of the welcoming charm of Byakuya's home. Everything was hard edged and bigger than necessary, meant to make you feel smaller as if being watched by god. It traded out soft cherry wood colors for a more industrial palette, and where Byakuya's mansion had the ever present scent of ginger root and flowers, all he could smell here was the cold.

He continued ambling with no sense of urgency, trying to think of anything but Byakuya Kuchiki. Which seemed impossible with the way Ichigo saw parts of him in everything. One thought would lead to another which would eventually lead to Byakuya. Rather he was talking politics or eating soup, Byakuya was always with him. It was a pain, but one he didn't want to live without, a comfortable aching of sorts. A memory that made the nights a little less lonely.

In all the thinking he had done, none of his thoughts were useful in bridging the chasm that now existed between them, nor was he even sure how he felt about what happened before he left. All he knew was that these unresolved emotions were dead weight in his gut, making the air harder to move through.

' _Maybe you'd know how feel if you stopped avoiding it!' Zangetsu screamed in his head._

' _All I've done is think about Byakuya.'_

' _Yeah, you've thought_ _ **about**_ _Byakuya, but not about how you're going to fix things with him. Every time you've started to think about what you want to do, you chicken out."_ When Ichigo just grunted, Zangetsu said _, 'I'll tell you what you want. You want to rush back to Moonbeam, get down on your hands and knees, and beg for him to take your sorry ass back.'_

' _Hey, he's the one who walked away!'_

' _Yeah,'_ the spirit countered, ' _and you held the door wide open for him.'_

Ichigo really didn't need to be having this conversation moments before he met with Ishida, but he had never learned how to not let Zangetsu goad him into an argument.

' _He said he didn't think I was capable of loving him. He said he didn't want me._ _ **He**_ _walked away, not me.'_

' _King, you're an idiot.'_

Before Ichigo could respond, he heard Ishida's voice coming from around the corner he was a few steps from turning at.

"Make sure to post extra men at the Kurosaki Clinic. The situation is getting worse in Kurakora."

Ichigo didn't notice he had stopped moving until Ishida walked into view, face twisting as if he stepped in a bear trap.

"Ishida, what the hell is going on?"

 **xXx**

Byakuya knew he should've been paying attention to the Soutaichou, but he was feeling a little too self indulgent to listen to the man drag on about minuscule issues that the commander himself could hardly bare to talk about. So instead, he stayed inside of himself, entertaining the pity that seemed to be his only companion these days.

The last two days had been punctuated by empty spaces, spaces once occupied by Ichigo. That was the hardest part of all of this, the fleeting moments of expectancy he had every time he looked beside him and the sensation of disappointment that always followed.

But then again, that wasn't really the hardest part, because the distance between them knew nothing of miles of separation.

' _I want you to be mine, but I don't want to have to share you with them! Those stuck up elders who don't give a shit about you. That whole world.'_

His whole life he had been picked over, kept for only the parts each individual found favorable. In the end, Ichigo was no different, and what hurt the most about that was, in some small way, Byakuya knew this would happen, and yet he still let it all the same. Yes, they had soul lock, but it was such an ambiguous thing, unable to be defined in any simple terms, different for each person. For them, all it amounted to was wasted potential.

" _I am saying that men like you do not fall in love with men like me. You are incapable of it."_

No one was capable of it. How could they be? Burdened by duty or burdened by desires, all he had ever been was a weight no one could carry. Baggage to be plundered through for his most desirable parts. For the elders, it was his loyalty and noble pride. For Ichigo, it was everything else in between, and that was almost enough, but as Byakuya once told him, he wanted too much. He wanted to be both the man Ichigo loved and the leader of his clan. He wanted those to be the same person.

Byakuya use to think that, for the right person, he would be portable, carried as a whole instead of in pieces, but if the boy who moved mountains with his will couldn't even do it, than Byakuya was sure no one ever could.

' _Master,_ ' Senbonzakura interjected, ' _I hate to hear you think of yourself this way. I don't think Kurosaki-sama rejected you, but that he merely needed time-'_

' _Leave this, Senbonzakura.'_

Ichigo was so above him, living right beyond the stretch of his fingertips, but he was still the most enticing possibility yet. Byakuya never knew the sound of a door shutting could sting so much until it was theirs, and he wouldn't let himself be taken by the fanatical idea that it could be opened again. There was only so much disappointment one man could take.

' _Master, I will say one last thing. So please heed it. There have been many times where your hope did not suffice, where you were uncertain, and it was Ichigo's that you leaned on. Perhaps instead of pushing him away, you should consider that he now needs you to lean on in his time of uncertainty."_

Before Byakuya could contemplate the words, the commander clapped his hands in way that said it was time for all the drifting ears to start listening.

"As most of you should know, the situation in Hueco Mundo is having negative effects. The hollows are dying out rapidly and have moved to The World of the Living to feed at an alarming rate. We will need to increase the number of posted soldiers."

"Were already running low on men as it is," Tōshirō said.

"Which is why we're lucky to have the Quincy's help, and with Urahara-san aid, we don't have to worry about their purging methods disrupting the balance."

"But isn't this just putting a band aid on the problem?" Iba asked. "We can't go on like this forever."

"You're right, and Urahara-san and Kurotsuchi Taichou are both looking for a solution, but as of right now, we'll have to hold out."

"Soutaichou," Byakuya spoke up. "I may have an idea. Although, I'm unsure of if it'll work."

"The floor is yours, Kuchiki Taichou."

"Kuchiki's, our reiatsu has the ability to stabilize the land, as it was gifted by the soul king himself. I am unsure if this would work in Hueco Mundo, but-"

"That's brilliant," Kurotsuchi exclaimed. "I am almost peeved that I didn't consider it before. That is exactly what my plans are missing, an enzyme that can construct a stabilizer strong enough for Hueco Mundo."

The commander chuckled blithely before saying, "Well you heard the man. Great Idea, Kuchiki Taichou."

"You know what else is a great idea?" said a familiar voice that had Byakuya's heart playing hopscotch against his chest. "Telling me about all this."

He didn't need to see Ichigo to understand his animosity. It felt almost pointed, like his icy skin was condensating under the direct heat of the sun.

"Kurosaki-san, when did you start attending taichou meetings?" the commanded asked, a forced lightness in his voice. "You barely want to attend your own meetings."

"Save the cheeky comments for someone who cares. I just came to tell you I'm going to The World of The Living. I'm sure you can guess why."

"Now, Kurosaki-san, I know some might think I don't act like it, but I am your Soutaichou. It doesn't work like that."

"Would you try to stop me?"

Ichigo asked the question as if it was a dare, and there was a silence felt by everyone, because even though Ichigo was a typically reasonable man, he was not the type you wanted to say no to when he was determined.

"That depends," the commander countered. "Are you planning on coming back?"

Ichigo scoffed.

"Relax, Kyōraku. I always keep a promise. After everything's settled there, I'll come back and be your taichou."

"Ichigo-kun," Jushiro spoke up, "You do realize that everything is already taken care of, yes? We have ample about soldiers protecting The World of The Living, your families clinic especially."

"That's not the point," Ichigo said. "I should be there protecting them. Not my friends and allies. They're my family!"

"What about the peace treaty? You're at-"

"I will stand in his place," Byakuya offered reflexively. At the silence that followed his mini outburst, Byakuya added, "When Kurosaki Ichigo is determined to do something, opposing him is a waste of breath. I have been involved in the process up till this point, so I'll have no issue in picking up where he left off."

"Okay then… If it's alright with you, I'll allow it," the commander said, but everyone knew it was just a formality. No one could stop Ichigo from doing anything unless they wanted another war on their hands.

After that, Ichigo left, and the rest of the meeting was nothing more than discussing the semantics of how they would use Byakuya's reaitsu in their plans. Once walking out of the first division, Byakuya went to where he sensed Ichigo head towards.

His mansion.

 **xXx**

"How could you lie to me?" Ichigo demanded to know as soon as Byakuya entered his home office.

"Hello to you, too, Ichigo."

"I'm not in the mood, Byakuya. Just answer my question."

Ichigo followed Byakuya as he moved to sit at his desk with a casual indifference, and just the sight of him and that feigned apathy was enough to stoke his anger.

When seated, Byakuya said, "I think the word lying is an exaggeration."

"Like hell it is," Ichigo snapped. "They're my Imouto, you should've told me that their powers emerged, that they had been the victims of hollow attacks."

Byakuya looked up, his head tilted, and Ichigo had to turn away. His sweet breaths were intolerable to the ear, and Ichigo thought It was amazing how something so simple could go from sounding like the serenade of a saint to the swan song of Satan in the matter of a few conversations.

"I do not know what you're talking about."

"Yeah right," Ichigo scoffed in disbelief. "You're telling me you didn't know that when Yhwach's reiatsu flooded all three world's, Karin and Yuzu's powers were awaken as a result? You didn't know that Ishida and Urahara have been teaching them to use their powers?"

"No, I did not," Byakuya said, and he did so with such a bluntness that Ichigo didn't know what to do with the arsenal of animosity he'd been preparing to launch. "Let me ask you this, Ichigo. Why is it that you are so angry at me when you did not exchange one bitter word with the rest of the Gotei Thirteen?"

"We- well, that's because you're my…"

"You're what?" Byakuya asked, brow perked. When his question was followed by more silence, he added, "You are making this whole ordeal into something nefarious when that is not the case. A few months ago, it came to our attention that hollows had began to invade Kurakora in greater numbers, and a taichou, who shall remain nameless, suggested that we keep the information to ourselves. Not to trick you, but as a gratitude for all you have done. We did not want you to carry around that weight." Byakuya's voice lowered, in it something incapable of indifference. "Is it that hard to believe that we wanted to be the ones to protect _your_ most important things this time? Do you really believe I would purposefully attempt to deceive you?"

Ichigo squirmed in his spot. It was unfair, fucking criminal. Byakuya had stolen all of his thoughts and his sleep in these last couple of days, and dammit, Ichigo wanted to keep his anger. What right did Byakuya have to talk to him in that tender voice and drown him with those beautifully blue speckled eyes after he walked away, after he surrounded himself in ice and told Ichigo that whatever existed between them was over as if he was just canceling a lunch date? It was cruel, taking both Ichigo's love and his bitterness as if they belonged to him.

He clutched his hands as if his resentment might seep through the crevices between his fingers. He refused to let it walk away from him too.

"It doesn't really matter why you guys didn't tell me. It's done with, and all that matters now is going back to The World of the Living. Karin and Yuzu shouldn't have to use these powers. They shouldn't be involved in this life."

"Ichigo," Byakuya said, standing to walk in front of his desk. "I understand the need to protect what is important to you, but what I learned in my battle with As Nodt is that you are not only dishonoring your sisters by not trusting them to protect themselves, but you are also carrying a weight that does not belong just to you."

Ichigo wanted to scream that Byakuya didn't care. He wanted to tell him to take his fake concern and fuck off. He wanted to take all of those nasty, new feelings Byakuya put in him and give them right back, and yet, he didn't want that all.

He was immature, he knew it, but wasn't that the problem all along? When it came to love, he was an infant attempting his first steps. Only he had hoped that, Byakuya, the first person he trusted to care for parts of him that Ichigo himself often overlooked, would be there to hold his hand through it, but instead, he left Ichigo to stumble through these uncharted feelings all alone.

He couldn't explain how much it hurt to have that shoulder taken away the moment he needed it the most. He felt equal parts heartbroken and stupid that he let himself get so attached when he knew it would end up this way. Ichigo could never keep the people he loved the most.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you," Ichigo said, his aggression suffocating words he wasn't big enough to say.

' _Don't walk away.'_

' _We're more than this.'_

' _I'm sorry. I know this is my fault. I should've never made you feel like I didn't want you.'_

But he couldn't say these things. His pride was too big to swallow, and he had already let himself get hurt by expecting more from them than either were capable of.

Ichigo needed time and Byakuya had none to give. They were both lacking, and at the moment, he hated them both for that. He never wanted their love to be reduced to a disappointment.

"I suppose you're right," Byakuya said, dipping his head.

' _Don't make that face. Don't make this harder when you're the one who gave up. I just needed time. I was just scared of you getting hurt because of me, of losing you. I just…'_

Ichigo dug nails into his palms.

"I'll be back," he said, unsure of what else to say and unwilling to go. He knew he should. He was just a ghost here after all, haunting himself, unable to leave behind something that was dead to them.

"Of course," Byakuya said evenly, "You did make a promise."

"Yeah, one I'm starting to regret," Ichigo said, thinking he couldn't hate himself anymore than he did while telling such a callus lie.

When spitting venom, you burn your own throat too, and he wasn't sure who those words hurt more, because with them a familiar loneliness returned to him, one he'd been numbed to until he found companionship with Byakuya.

He was exercising what affection lingered between them, taking their love out back and shooting it in the head, making sure it was dead. He was killing it for mercy. With those words and the little bullet holes they created in Byakuya's eyes, he was sure he had buried them, and there was both a great pain and relief in that finality.

"I am not such a cold man that your words do not hurt me, Ichigo." Painfully, Byakuya whispered, "I am sorry that I was nothing but a regret to you."

Ichigo felt like he'd just jump from a bride only to realize he still wanted to live a moment too late. It was an act of futility, but with one last pathetic attempt, he tried to breathe life back into all the things that had grown between them.

"I shouldn't of said that, Byakuya. I'm sorry-"

"There is no need to apologize," Byakuya interjected, his voice fighting for a harshness it just didn't have the stamina to win. "Just… please take your leave from here. When you return, we can start the process of moving you to your new division. Until then, I will tend to the peace treaty in your place."

Ichigo stepped closer, thinking that maybe something as insignificant as fewer inches would make the distance between them feel not so insurmountable, but Byakuya took a step backwards as if he feared Ichigo's warmth.

"Just… be careful," he muttered. "The people behind the bombing were never caught, and-"

"I fared perfectly fine before you came into my life, and I will continue to do so when you are not," Byakuya snapped, and as well deserved as his spit felt, it was met by the return of Ichigo's anger.

It always came back to throw a fist in this half-hearted fight of theirs, but Ichigo was pulling his punches, causing wounds only to wrap them up with useless apologizes and sad eyes. Because he was angry, but he was so much more than that too.

Ichigo wiped his sweaty pulsating hands against his uniform, forcing himself not to grab at his wailing chest, and he thought his heart was beating pretty fast for a man who felt half way to death.

"You were ready to go into seclusion after the war!" He hissed. "Those elders, this world, it made you think that the only thing that makes you worth anything is your powers. That's not fine!"

"This world is intrinsic to the man that I am. So when you say that you want me, but without any of the trouble that this world brings, you are rejecting a whole part of me. I am not furniture, Ichigo. I am tired of being rearrange to people's liking." Byakuya's face was flushed, blisters of ice protecting his skin. They were so fragile, practically imploring to be melted, and yet Ichigo could find none of the warmth necessary. "You are no better than those you condemn," he exclaimed with a trembling certainty. "No, you are worse, because I expected more from you."

A stillness came over Ichigo, a cold anger that made his blood feel thicker. They stood there, silently, their heights matching. They stood proud like giants, monuments to their mutual bitterness that refused to crumble, but they felt all of three feet tall. They were so much smaller than this situation, so helpless to it's depths.

"That's what you really think of me?" Ichigo asked, his voice painfully quiet. "I guess we don't really know each other like we thought."

"I suppose not."

Ichigo turned to leave, but his hand caught the door. That part of him that was more than anger, that was sadness and guilt and longing, so much more longing than one person should be capable of containing, had something to say, and it wouldn't let him leave until it did.

"It was never a lie."

"...Excuse me?"

"This, what I feel for you, it was always real. Sometimes I think it's the realist thing about me."

And then Ichigo flashed away, because there was no reason to keep pestering the dead. What he and Byakuya had was rare and real, something he couldn't regret, and it deserved to rest in peace.

 **...**

 **Up Next: It only hurt's when it's dark, unfinished business, going home**

 **xXx**

 **Tifanny91: Hello dear. First off, thank you for your concern. You have me worried about you! Surgery? Yikes, I hope it's nothing serious. You're in my thoughts. Okay, well, I know the elders do pretty crappy things. However, I personally don't think their bad people. It's human nature to think of your own interest, so it's easy for them to justify their actions by saying it's for the best of the noble clans. But this story isn't really about that, so that's neither here nor there. Now, I'm excited to see what you think of these turn of events, and I think you'll be surprised(hopefully pleasently surprised) with how things play out in the next chapter. Thank you for your review! Until next time.**

 **Darklight14: Your comment gives me life. Seriously, I needed to hear that. Thank you. I hope you enjoy what little is left of this story.**

 **Guest: Hey love. It was just a joke. Sorry if that was unclear. As Uchi explained, Kuchiki's give hairpieces when courting. Thank you as always.**


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Quick few things. Firstly, I know this story has been a handful and a half. Thank you for everyone who's read up to this point. This chapter is the climax, so everything will calm down past this point for the most part. Please do stick around till the end. I know this might feel like a conclusion, but It's not quite wrapped up, and there's things you won't want to miss(At least, I hope you don't)

Speaking of this chapter, it's really long. I thought about chopping it up, but... well, I didn't.

I believe I said that after this chapter, there would only be two left, but that's without an epilouge. So it may be two or three more. I'll let you know.

I practically listened to this chapters song on a loop while writing it. It matches the feelings I was trying to convey really well, so I suggest listening to it while reading.

 **Song: Jimmy Eat's World, '23'**

 **This darkness is ours**

 **xXx**

 **"It was my turn to decide.**  
 **I knew this was our time.**  
 **No one else will have me like you do.**  
 **No one else will have me, only you.**

 **You'll sit alone forever**  
 **if you wait for the right time.**  
 **What are you hoping for?**  
 **I'm here and now I'm ready.**  
 **Holding on tight.**  
 **Don't give away the end,**  
 **the one thing that stays mine."**

 _Byakuya felt the kiss before anything else. Then came the tingling air of awareness and the throbbing sensation of desire. Next were hands, the hands of a man who made things happened, well worn and certain against his skin._

 _His squinting eyes broke through the seal of sleep, blinking as Ichigo came into view. He wore a drowsy, almost crooked grin. It was soft like the sun that filtered in through the white sheet tenting them._

 _With a sheet covering their heads like it did, all Byakuya could see was Ichigo and the sliver of bed that separated them. How nice it would be to live in a world this small, only big enough for them and their love._

 _Byakuya felt jealous of the light that played in Ichigo's unruly hair, the way it got to bath in someone even brighter than itself. He ran hands through the strands, and he did so without hesitation, as if it was his right. It was like walking, to do so, all he needed was to want it._

 _As if to verify this right, Ichigo sighed into the touch and shifted closer. Byakuya still couldn't believe it, that he'd been trusted with something so precious, that his hands were considered capable of holding the man who could stop and start worlds with only the good that lived in his heart. Ichigo had given him everything by simply giving himself, and Byakuya was sure he was unworthy._

 _His fingers mapped the dimensions of Ichigo's body with piety. His little grunts and sighs were Byakuya's gospel, their love his only religion. He laid his head at Ichigo's shrine._

 _Ichigo opened his eyes and parted his lips, and Byakuya knew that whatever came out of his mouth would be the word of god._

" _You snore."_

 _He never said his god was a very tactful one._

" _And you know this. Please don't tell me that after only five years of marriage, you're running out of things to complain about."_

 _He felt the stillness of arms settle around him, arms too plain to properly convey their worth. Those arms had changed world's. They had created a home and cradled a child. They brought a man back from the dead._

" _No way, I have at least a decade's worth of more material."_

 _Byakuya yawned, and Ichigo kissed it off his lips. He scrunched his face in dissent._

" _I have morning breath, Ichigo."_

" _Didn't I tell you," Ichigo said, nipping at Byakuya's chin, "That's my turn on?"_

 _Byakuya rolled his eyes and turned away from Ichigo. "It is much too earlier for your shenanigans."_

 _Ichigo pulled him back with a fierce playfulness, burrowing his gracious mouth into the crook of Byakuya's neck. They both chuckled, speaking in half finished, muffled sentences that only they would understand or find worth laughing about._

 _A silence settled between them as a soft rain threatened to lull them back to sleep. Ichigo placed kisses that synced with the patterning droplets. He was Byakuya's rain king._

" _Ichigo, why are we hiding under a sheet?"_

" _I want your undivided attention. If you couldn't tell, I'm coming on to you."_

 _"Key word, trying" Byakuya said with a smirk.  
_

 _Ichigo seemed to take that as a challenge, moving his hand to grasp the swell of Byakuya's bottom._

 _Byakuya moaned happily and asked, "Is that why you're so affectionate this morning? Usually you only have the strength to roll yourself out of bed. I'm lucky to get a simple hello."_

" _Exactly. I love Shion, but she doesn't give us much energy for this." He lapped at Byakuya's shoulder, baptizing him. "It's been too long," he whispered. "I miss touching you. And if I know our kid, she'll be waking up any minute now. She takes after you like that, always punctual."_

" _Really," Byakuya said, looking over his shoulder as much as Ichigo's insistence would allow. "And I thought she took after you. Always whining."_

 _Ichigo tackled him onto his back, making Byakuya push into the futon with a fit of laughter._

" _Are you going to keep insulting me or are you going to have sex with me."_

 _Byakuya cupped Ichigo's face. "Can't I do both?" he asked teasingly, causing his husband to scowl beautifully._

 _He pulled Ichigo's face to his, taking his lips slowly before separating just enough to whisper, "Make love to me, Ichigo."_

 _A knock came to door, jarring and demanding. Ichigo looked back to him with a rueful smile and said, "I think we're out of time, Byakuya."_

 **xXx**

Byakuya jolted awake in the way one might burst from a grave, gasping and confused, seeking redemption in the form of air.

Through his heavy breathing, he could hear a soft knocking.

"Yes?" he called out.

"I am sorry to disturb you, Lord Kuchiki," Fujita said at the other side of the door. "A summons has come from the elders. They would like for you to attend a meeting at noon today."

Byakuya's hands rattled uncontrollably like the chattering of frost bitten teeth. He brushed his fingers against his cheek, catching tears on their tips.

"Shall I confirm your attendance?" Fujita asked, worry evident in her voice.

Byakuya leveled himself and stiffened his spine in an act of impersonation. He was a child playing make believe with the darkness, dressing up as the confidently impassive person he wished he could be.

"Right. That will be fine."

Once she left, Byakuya sat, staring into the darkness, but it didn't stare back. It gave nothing in the way of stimulation, and it never asked for anything in return. There's was a loveless union, it as stuck with Byakuya as he was stuck with it, only greeting him with silence.

This was such an empty darkness that Byakuya thought he might lose his mind in it. Ever since Ichigo left a month ago, all there was was silence, silence that seemed to exist for the sole purpose of emphasizing what it took the place of.

Still, he did as he did everyday, played pretend. He lived life ignoring the surreal reality of it all, performing his daily activities as if there weren't giant holes in every part of his life. He lived his days in the way one might look at pictures with faces cut out of the frame, as if there weren't blank spaces beside him, as if something weren't missing.

He had no other choice, or perhaps he knew no other way to be, but either way, he couldn't let his feet get sucked down by this silence. He had to fake his way through this misery, because maybe if he pretended long enough that the silence was always there, he could trick his body out of the pain he felt every time he tried to breathe.

Byakuya got up from his futon and navigated through a dense fog of dissociation. He opened the doors to his deck and turned on the record player. Then he returned to his room and began to get dressed as the soft melody guided his movements. All too naturally, he forced himself to think of nothing but the next steps in his day.

As he placed his hairpiece, he heard the voice of a ghost.

"You really need to eat, Moonbeam."

Byakuya sighed, his fingers trembling around the fixture in his hand.

"Why are you here, Zangetsu?"

Byakuya had become a haunted house. In every corner of him, wherever he went, there was a chance a ghost might linger. This spirit seemed bound to him. He wouldn't let these bones rest in peace.

"Isn't it obvious," the spirit asked, coming to stand behind him, placing his chin on Byakuya's shoulder. "I love you."

Byakuya shook against the touch. This spirit was always walking through his walls, rattling his pipes.

"You love Senbonzakura."

"Yeah, well, there would be no Senbonzakura without you."

Byakuya struggled with the clasp of his hairpiece only to feel Zangetsu take it away and arrange it for him, mumbling something about how idiotic he considered them to be.

"You could argue that there would be no me without Senbonzakura."

The words made Byakuya realize there were two spirits haunting him. Zangetsu, the ghost of all the things he lost, and Senbonzakura, the ghost of who he use to be. They never changed, but he did. Years and rot had turned him into a condemned building.

"You're right when you say I love Senbonzakura. He says you're lonely."

' _Haunted house are lonely places.'_

"And he can't stand seeing you like that."

Byakuya moved away and stood by the entrance to the deck.

"And yet he can stand to see me tortured by your presence."

"He said you're less lonely when I come."

"He has always talked too much."

"I'm sorry about King. He should be here."

Byakuya wrapped his arms around his rapidly diminishing waist, feeding off of his own body heat. He didn't need anybody. His own warmth was enough for him.

"Ichigo shouldn't be anywhere he does not want to be. Besides, I can not say I blame him."

' _Haunted house are frightening places. No one wants to live in one.'_

"Please, go."

"I can't do that, Moonbeam. If Ichigo won't fulfill his duty than I'll do it for him."

"I am not his duty. Nor do I desire to be."

"I think it's everyone's duty to be there for the person they love."

Byakuya closed his eyes and let out a wistfully amused sigh. "That is such an Ichigo thing to say."

"Well, I am part of his soul."

"But you are not him."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm not..."

"When you are here, I wonder if I am losing my mind," Byakuya admitted. "Do you not understand, Zangetsu? I exerted all of my energy into resilience. There are days where I have to reteach myself how to breath without him, where getting out of bed is a victory. Something died between us," Byakuya whispered, his throat coiling with pressure he refused to let leak from his eyes. "And I am trying my hardest not to die with it. Why do you haunt me when all I ask for is peace in my grieving?"

Byakuya's whole body was tight and stymie like boarded up windows. He would let nothing in, and he would let nothing out. It might be haunted, but this was his house, god damn-it. These creaking walls and decaying floor panels belonged to only himself. They were the only things he had. He was the only thing he had, and he wouldn't let that be taken away from him too.

Zangetsus slipped his hand in Byakuyas, and it felt like a strong wind. He swayed at its presence.

"Don't _you_ understand?" the spirit said "I can't be haunting you because what's between you and King ain't dead."

Before Byakuya could say anything, the spirit wisped him to the middle of the deck, lacing their fingers with one hand and holding their bodies together with another.

"Come on, Moonbeam, show me those moves I've heard about. Dance with me."

"Zangetsu-"

"Just one dance, then I'll leave ya alone. Deal?"

He couldn't keep the hardness of his face. These nuts and bolts that held him together, they began to loosen. In an attempt to hide his perishing groundwork, he rested his forehead against the spirits collar bone and allowed himself to be swayed back and forth, drifting like dust amidst a draft.

There was an agony he wanted to keep in dancing with Zangetsu. Everything about him was _almost._ His scent was almost identical to Ichigo's. His reiatsu was just barely off. The sound of his breathing, it was so close. Standing chest to chest with him, it was a lot like how his life had been this past month, nearly a perfect replica, but with inconsistencies he couldn't ignore.

Only, in a way, he had been able to ignore it, because without Ichigo there, he could create a world where he never existed, but now, holding a piece of Ichigo's soul in his hand, a piece so tauntingly almost yet not quite right at the same time, he couldn't pretend. He couldn't deny this heartbreak into non existence.

"He misses you, you know? He's a fucking wreck."

Byakuya wished he wouldn't talk, because he could feel it, the end seeping in through the cracks in his ceiling. The support beams were collapsing and the pipes were bursting within him. He was taking on water, letting out one last dying breath before he was nothing but a heap of days better seen.

"He's shut me out though. I can't even manifest in front of him anymore. I can do it with you though, for some reason. Soul lock, I guess. The only one he talks to is Senbonzakura, which says a lot. I think he doesn't talk to me because he hates himself right now."

Byakuya shook terribly against the spirit, eyes dripping with silent yet steady tears as he found himself forgetting how to breath again. So when Zangetsu's arms pulled him closer, holding tightly, he didn't protest the touch, but encouraged it with his own bracing grasp, knowing this was the closest to Ichigo he was going to get.

Then he lifted his head to kiss the spirit, and Zangetsu let him with still lips. It was short yet desperate. It was thrilling yet unsatisfying. It was taunting. It was _almost_ like kissing Ichigo.

Byakuya pulled back and returned his head to Zangetsus collar bone, feeling too tired to be as ashamed as he knew he would eventually be. They stood there in a silent embrace for a long time, and all Byakuya could think about was what a pitiful pile of debris he was.

"You know," Zangetsu said, "I don't think I'm the one you should be kissing like that."

"I know."

"Did it make you feel better?"

Byakuya stepped from the spirits hold and preened his tousled hair before sitting on the deck in a lotus blossom position.

"It made me feel, feel many things that can not be put away so easily, things that will not help me fulfill my duties."

"You've been training and working to much, so maybe that's what you need then. King wouldn't like to see you like-"

"Well Ichigo is not here, is he?"

"But you want him to be."

"What I want really doesn't matter."

"But it does," Zangetsu said. "Because I know King. He won't be able to stay away from you, not for long. So the question is, will you be there when he finally gets his head out of his ass?"

It was a question he never considered, never thought he would have to. In many ways, he was still sure it was a question that would never deem an answer.

"I am not sure," he said bluntly.

"Well you better figure it out soon… Anyway I guess I should probably stop bothering you. I'll be back later."

"I suppose it would be a waste of breath to tell you not to bother, yes?"

"That depends, are you going to kiss me again?"

Byakuya tutted. "That was a moment of insanity that shall never be repeated."

Zangetsu walked to Byakuya and lifted his chin up with the pad of his fingertips. "Good," he countered, "Because I'm not so nice of a guy to not kiss you back next time. I just don't like taking advantage of pretty guys in vulnerable situations."

Byakuya held back on rolling his eyes until he felt the fingers on his chin dissipate.

He sat feeling nothing that could be easily described. There wasn't a numbness, but a sort've bareness as if he'd been splayed out on full display, now drained and somehow content in the aftermath.

He thought that perhaps it was time to stop playing hide and go seek from his problems and give Zangetsu's question some consideration.

 **xXx**

Ichigo walked through mounds of snow, leaving proof of his existence in the form of foot prints. They would soon be covered.

Darkness swelled, but the snow, cold and shimmering, gave vigil to the frost garden as he walked. The flowers were encapsulated by tombs of ice, and yet their frail bodies never really died. They were simply preserved, hanging in patient reassurance that they'd be melted by the inevitable warmth of their master.

There was an ineffable air of life in waiting.

Ichigo recalled the words Senbonzakura said when he first came here.

' _You seem surprised.'_

' _This wasn't what I expected Byakuya's inner world to look like. Rukia's yeah, but not his._

' _It's not always like this, but in a way, it is. You see, a darkness always comes, like nightfall, and with it comes snow, but how long that darkness stays is dependent on my Master's state of mind. At his most content, there is still an hour of frosty night a day.'_

' _So it never leaves?'_

' _Yes. This cold darkness will always be apart of who he is, but likewise, no matter to what depths his misery grows, there will always be a time of warmth and light everyday. Neither dark nor light are ever eternal, Kurosaki-sama.'_

 _Ichigo looked up, the flakes of snow falling like shooting stars against his face. 'It's still beautiful. Even while dark and cold.'_

' _That it is.'_

Ichigo saw Senbonzakura knelt down in the snow, mask-less, his long hair whipping behind him. He approached the spirit slowly to see that he was rolling balls of snow on the ground.

"You don't get tired of being cold?"

Senbonzakura looked up from his task. If he was surprised to see Ichigo here, he didn't show it.

"I've gotten use to it over the years," he explained as he packed more snow onto the ball. "My armor helps." He looked back up to Ichigo, but only for a fleeting moment. "Your world isn't much better. It rains so much there that all you can do is close your eyes to it."

"Is that what you think I do? Close my eyes to it?"

Senbonzakura rolled his shoulder, seemingly impassive, but Ichigo knew there was more there. "I think the fact that you asked me that says that you already think that about yourself." He paused in his rolling and pressed his hands hard enough into the ball to create cracks in the snow. "Because of the climates within our respective worlds, we can not visit each other often. Like you can not stay here long, Zangetsu can not fare the cold either. Likewise, my armor makes it impossible to stand the wet humidity of your world," he said, and their glares met again, the subtext of the spirit's words weighing his eyes down."

Senbonzakura never had to be blatant for Ichigo to understand the depths of his words. Much like Byakuya, he spoke in nuances that one could only understand if they wanted to. Ichigo's gut lurched in guilt.

Ichigo knelt down beside the spirit and avoiding catching the spirits eyes as he wordlessly rolling another ball.

"Building a snowman?"

"Yes, Master use to do this with his Otou-Sama when he was still alive." He smiled grimly as he continued in his rolling. "He doesn't do this anymore, but I think that's only because he doesn't want to do it alone."

Ichigo said nothing. He just glared down at the snow he was packing between his hands and forced himself to focus on their red trembling sting, shying away from insistent thoughts on how lonely Byakuya must've been, on how lonely he was. For a while, neither said anything. This wasn't uncommon between them during his visits. Senbonzakura never asked why he was there, only waited for words Ichigo may or may not say, and he couldn't explain how grateful he was for that.

They got through the first two balls in silence. Ichigo moved to put his middle piece on Senbonzakura's bottom as the spirit worked on the head.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo said, making Senbonzakura pause his hands.

"For what, exactly?"

"That you and Zangetsu can't see each other. I never meant for you two to get hurt by this."

"That was inevitable."

Ichigo dropped to his knees beside the spirit, and he couldn't say if it was out of a want or a necessity. His legs felt so weak these days.

He watched as the spirit worked over the ball in a meticulous calm as he himself shifted in the snow. "Was it?" he asked.

"When you split an atom, Kurosaki-sama, what happens?"

"Really? We're going to do more metaphors today?"

"I will tell you," Senbonzakura said, giving him a stern glare. "Because an atom is a unit, the smallest unit, it does not simply split into two harmonious pieces. It explodes, causing a ripple effect that can be felt by everything around it." He held the perfectly round ball in his hands and gave Ichigo a meaningful look as he stood. "You and my Master, though you are both two individual people, the love you share is a unit, belonging to neither one of you. When you try to split it, the effects are bound to be disastrous for everyone around."

Senbonzakura's words shook him harder than the cold. He never thought other people had been affected by what transpired between Byakuya and himself. Had he been wrong? Was it just Senbonzakura and Zangetsu, or were there others too?

The spirit placed the head on the body of the snowman before retrieving some stones. He quickly created a face and then stepped back to observe his work with a small smile. "And who said beautiful things can not be made from cold places?"

Ichigo stayed knelt, hands pressed against knees, as he looked to Senbonzakura with the searching uncertainty of a child. "Is that why it hurts so much? Because it exploded?"

"What hurts?"

"Me! I mean, physically. I expected the emotional pain, but not this. I feel like someone's ripping at my chest twenty-four-seven."

Senbonzakura stood tall and stoic under the moon's coverage. He looked so much bigger like that, filled with wisdom that Ichigo found himself envious of. He then extended a sympathetic hand, and Ichigo took it, because those hands seemed so much more capable than his own.

As he stood in front of the spirit, Senbonzakura said, "Did you know one can die from a broken heart? And I don't mean in some figurative, poetic sense. Master read a book once from the World of the Living that wrote about a man who died a week after his lover. The technical terminology for it is... takotsubo cardiomyopathy, I believe. Anyway, this is when extreme stress can cause your heart to pump abnormally, and if not treated, can even lead to death." The spirit turned to regard the moon, hands folded behind his back. "You see, the soul and the body can not be separated from each other. If one is hurt, it often will transfer that pain over to the other, but it is even worse for you."

"Why?"

"Soul lock, of course. Think of soul lock as a limb," he explained. "If I were to yank on your arm hard enough, it would hurt badly, possibly even dislocate your shoulder. It would need to be treated for the pain to go away. If I were to yank with extreme force, I could even rip your arm off. However, if one acted quickly enough, the arm could be surgically reattached. Master and you, your soul lock has been yanked on. It is still there, but it needs to be treated or you may find that one day it is not."

"Does that mean Byakuya's hurting like this?"

"You already know the answer to that."

Ichigo's face harden, the frost catching in the crevices of his face. He wasn't sure what to say back, so he settled on silence.

"Is that why you come here?" Senbonzakura asked. "Because it ebbs the pain a bit?"

"I think it's the same reason I go to the lake where my Okaasan died. To mourn. To think about us, I guess."

Senbonzakura sighed, the cold highlighting it's release. "Kurosaki-sama," he said, "I will spare you anymore metaphors and simply say this. In this life, we lose many things because we don't take care of them or because we let the fact that we don't yet know how stop us from trying. The quickest way for something to die is by convincing yourself that there's nothing you can do to keep it alive. You should know this better than anybody, _Savior_."

Ichigo went to talk, but before he could, he heard, "Well look who it is." He turned to see Zangetsu wearing a livid smile, moving in frantic steps. "If we didn't have the same face, I might've forgotten what you looked like."

Ichigo tutted and turned away. "Don't be dramatic. It's only been a month."

"Yeah, only a month? Well a months a long time when your whole life's been turned upside down!"

Ichigo said nothing, just turned further away, but he didn't get far when he was shoved right into the snowman he and Senbonzakura had just made.

"Oh no you don't, King. You don't get to just walk away from me this times."

He managed to push himself into a sitting position and look up to the spirit that glared down on him with a griped fist.

"You know who I just saw, King? Moonbeam! But I bet you don't want to talk about that, huh? Wouldn't want to hear about the mess you left behind?"

"What the hell are you talking about," Ichigo raged, thrashing his arms. "I'm surrounded in it." He picked up a pile of snow and threw it at his sword spirit. "Do you think I don't know what this shit means?"

"What I think is that you don't care!"

"Don't care?" Ichigo whispered before jumping up. "Don't care?! You're one to talk, you just destroyed the snowman your _lover_ made without a second thought."

"Kurosaki-sama," Senbonzakura interjected, "It is really no big dea-"

"No, It is!" Ichigo cut the spirit off. "It might just be a snowman, but you spent a lot of time making it. Who the hell just destroys something made by someone they love because their too thoughtless to know better?!"

Zangetsu chuckled and slow clapped in a mocking fashion. "Bravo," he said, twirling his arm in the air and bowing. "The King knows how to project his mistakes."

"You can project my fist," Ichigo muttered, stomping towards his sword spirit. There was something bizarrely gratifying about beating up someone who looked just like himself with his bare hands, but he left that thought to melt in the snow behind him.

Zangetsu looked just as ready to throw hands as Ichigo did, but before he could get within swinging distance, a barrage of pink separated them.

They both turned to look at a flushed and panting Senbonzakura, exerted not from exercise nor the cold, but from anger.

"You can both take your leave now."

It wasn't a suggestion.

"Senny-"

"Leave," the spirit pushed. "And don't come back until you've learned how to work through your issues in a less violent way. Both of you."

"Fine, I'll leave," Zangetsu said, practically spitting towards Ichigo. 'Because _I_ actually care about my lover's happiness."

Ichigo scoffed as the spirit disappeared. He was left panting out his animosity.

"Senbonzakura, I'm… sorry."

"As you should be," the spirit said, not even looking over his shoulder to address Ichigo. "But words make for weak apologizes."

There was nothing Ichigo could say to that. Or rather, he had said enough. So he just stood there, thinking how painfully familiar that back turned away from him look before he returned to his body.

 **xXx**

Byakuya was young when his father died, but not so young that he was spared from the memories and attachment that made dealing with life after his death unbearable.

There was a formal funeral held, followed by an insufferable string of events that made the day a bit too long for Byakuya's short temper. After the burial, they held a wake of sorts for Sōjun's true friends where none of the obligated nobility could take up extra space with their forced condolences.

He remembered so vividly Jūshirō and Kyōraku, two of his father's closest companions, memorializing Sōjun with humorous stories and moistened eyes. He remembered thinking that they looked like novice actors who couldn't quite fake happiness, but in hindsight, his thoughts on their behavior said more about his emotional intellect than it did theirs.

He'd spend so much of his life labeling his emotions and sorting them away that he didn't understand their complexity. He didn't comprehend that sometimes there was no comprehending, that emotions were much too abstract of a thing to be understood fully. They certainly couldn't be filed away like mere paperwork to be dealt with at a later date.

You see, when mourning his father, Jūshirō and Kyōraku did so by celebrating his life, accepting the bitter sweetness in doing so. They let their emotions flow, realizing that they were a package deal. They did not shy away from one out of fear of the other.

They knew something that Byakuya had yet to grasp, and that was that when you try to bury emotions, they bury you. He had been filled with so much sorrow and anger that he didn't know what to do with it all other than push it deep down inside of him. He wanted to take all of his father's pictures off the wall, torch the gardens, throw away all of his paintings, destroy all the parts of his father death didn't take with it so he might be able to step into shoes his feet were not yet big enough to wear. Because the biggest weight his father left behind was his position in the family, and that took up too much space for Byakuya to be crying over momentous and flower beds.

Only he soon realized that you could bury personals items, but you could never bury memories. So to combat those, he kept constantly busy, never letting his mind go ideal out of fear of what it might do with that extra time.

He had always been this way, but he never really perfect it, because he had buried these emotions in the backyard of his soul. He could never escape the fact that these remains of himself slept right under his feet.

This is what he thought about as he and Artemis sat by a lake in the Hokutan, one him and Ichigo often trained at. He thought about Jūshirō and Kyōraku, the way they treated the memories of dead loved ones as if they were worth the pain. For years, he had grappled with this notion. He thought that, maybe if he didn't have the whole well being of his clan and all it represented on his ability to stay centered, then maybe he could be as they were, but he knew even a clan leader was like any other soul in the privacy of their own time. He knew he used his position as an excuse.

Looking back on it, he wouldn't erase his time with Hisana nor his father, and he most certainly wouldn't do so with Ichigo, because when with him, Byakuya was the happiest he had been since childhood. When Byakuya was with him, he was at his best. Loving Ichigo was proof that there was still life in him yet.

Could he be happy with the ghost of what they had? Was there such a thing as a beautiful haunting? Or was what Zangetsu said true? Did what they create still have breath in it? It hurt to even think about, but Byakuya was already hurting, so he might as well give it his all.

Apart of him wanted to take Ichigo at face value, believe his words about Byakuya's nobility being too much to share. Apart of him knew there was more to it than that, and was angry at himself for being so easy to scar, angry at himself for not believing for the both of them when Ichigo had done that exact thing so many times. Almost all of him was sure this would end in pain. But wasn't that what Ichigo taught him? That if there was even the littlest amount of hope, it was worth all the painful possibilities?

For the first time since Ichigo left, he considered this, but nothing came of it, not yet anyway. He supposed it was his own fault for wasting a month's worth breathing space by trying to only inhale.

He petted Artemis who laid lifelessly against his leg. She had been without much spirit this past month, and Byakuya wondered if that was because she could sense his own misery or if she missed Ichigo as well. It was probably a bit of both.

Amidst his contemplating, Byakuya fell asleep against a magnolia tree. He was later awaken by the protective growl of Artemis, signaling him to take up a combative stance. He used his echolocator to scan the area as he opened up his senses, and for a few seconds, he heard nothing but the wind.

Suddenly, the entirety of the enclosure was filled by a smoke that made his ear's buzz.

' _What is this? Kidou? They are using this odd smoke to negate my hearing and echolocation ability. Smart, but still useless.'_

An Image appeared in his mind from his connection with Artemis that depicted five slowly advancing figures surrounding the perimeter of the smoke.

Byakuya let out a bothered sigh as he held out a finger and said, "Hado number four." He spun, creating a circle of lighting, and soon after, he could feel the five pressures decline to one.

This confused him until he recalled a bit of information he learned while investigating the bombing. Kato, the young officer who instigated a fight with Ichigo months ago, had the ability to manifest copies of himself. Unlike Shinji's and Aizen's zanpakuto, these weren't mere illusions, but actual replicas of himself. For a shikai, it was quite powerful if used correctly.

As the smoke reseeded, he used his echolocator to see the figure he sense to be Kato writhing on the ground. He walked towards him and placed a binding spell.

"Silly boy," he said, "you had real potential, only to waste it on fruitless attempts to stop an inevitable peace treaty. Why?"

Kato grunted and pushed uselessly against his bindings. "A guy like you wouldn't get it."

"Well, you have already dug your grave, so it doesn't-" Byakuya stopped mid sentence at the feeling of two pressures approaching him from behind. He spun again, releasing another hado while Kato let out a pleading scream. Only it was too late, the spell had already hit it's mark.

He had used non lethal means, but when he could finally see the prone outline for what it was, he knew that wasn't the problem. He shunpo to the woman and dropped to his knees, placing hands over her pregnant belly frantically.

"Kuchiki Taichou, we both know that won't work."

"Hush," he barked, not liking the way she spoke of her child's death in such a calm way, as if she had expected it from the beginning. Only, he knew she was right. Because of their lack of a physical body until birth, the reiatsu of a fetus is extremely unstable, and although the mother's body offered protection, it couldn't stop the chaos caused by a kidou blast. Even if she was treated by a master of kaidou in the exact moments following the attack, the likelihood of the child's survival was little to none. Still, even as he felt the last tendrils of that budding reiatsu dwindle beneath his palms, he continued in his pointless attempts.

"Why?" he demanded, still pouring energy into the woman's bloated stomach. "Why did you come here in this condition?"

He should've realized. He should've noticed the discrepancies in strength between the two reiatsus. This was what he had feared, clumsily yielding such great power, but he had grown cocky, thinking he had overcame his blindness fully. How could he have let this happen?

"Not to hurt you, Kuchiki Taichou. Kato… he's my husband, you see. If someone you loved was about to jump off a bridge, wouldn't you try to talk them down?"

Byakuya wasn't sure what he wanted to hear, but it wasn't that.

He continued to flood the woman with his power even as he both felt and heard the last shallow pulse of the child's reiatsu beat against his hands, hands he had used to take the life of an innocent.

Thoughts of holding Arisa in his arms for one precious moment grasped him. He remembered the way she dissipated out of existence as if she had never even been there at all. He remembered Hisana's cries, and their corpse-less funeral, and the way that, from that day on, whenever they were together, they'd both just stare silently out of windows, never having words that mattered enough to say. He remembered this not with just his mind but his whole body. He felt that loss everywhere.

His hands went from her stomach to the ground, and all he could feel was death on his palms. He tried to speak, but none of his thoughts could be formed into anything that would remotely make this situation better. None of them would make her child less dead. None of them would make that any less his fault. All he could do was remove from her the hands that just destroyed her life.

He laid them flat against the earth. Hands, unless hands that ruined anything they touched.

Kato had wrestled from his bindings with nothing but the strength of a husbands love, and Byakuya neither made a sound nor moved a muscle as they exchanged words beside him. He wasn't sure he could even if he wanted to.

"Emiri, I'm… I'm so sorry," Kato cried, and Byakuya almost wanted to yell at him to stop apologizing, because there was only one person at fault here.

"I guess it was too much to hope for us, huh?"

"Emiri, don't-"

"After the war, when we found out I was pregnant, I thought that maybe we could move on from Hana's death," she said, tears clouding her voice. "But all you cared about was revenge. I was angry too, but… I thought the love of a new child could scrub away all the anger we harbored from losing our last. I guess it did, for me, at least. But now she is gone, and you'll be imprisoned, and all that is left is anger."

Kato let out a roar of sobs that clapped like thunder in Byakuya's ears, and yet he listened in an act of repentance as the man pushed out broken apologizes through the strain of heaving breaths.

"I….I'm sorry. I ruined us. I'm...I."

"Shh, you didn't ruin us," the woman said, a sweet sadness in her voice. "The war did."

"But I- Emiri, what are you doing?! Stop!"

Byakuya felt Emiris reiatsu surge into a self inflicted kidou blast followed by the splattering of blood against his face. Any trace of Emiris life vanished between the two men, leaving nothing but a silence, the most horrible silence Byakuya had ever heard.

 **xXx**

Ichigo stood on a rooftop observing the town he grew up in through the obscurity of shadows. It felt so different, somehow far away, and Ichigo knew it wasn't the town that changed, but himself.

 _'I wonder how Byakuya's doing?'_

He leaned away from that thought and instead grabbed his zanpokuto as if expecting a hollow disturbance at any second. He felt an almost want for danger. Something to stick his sword through. A justification for his presence here.

In his peripheral, he saw Karin in her soul form as she landed gently at his side. She looked out into the night with a determination that didn't sit well on her face. She was too young to have such willful eyes. She hadn't earned it, and he hopped she never did.

"What are you doing here?"

Her face didn't flinch. She showed neither petulance nor annoyance as she had done expectantly so many times before. Instead, there was merely a consideration that was too heavy for her age.

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

Ichigo looked more closely at her, thinking that she looked older in ways he couldn't explain. It wasn't something to be seen in her physical appearance, but within her gait. It was in the way she held herself as if she had everything to lose. It was in the evenness of her words and the intensity of how she said them. It rolled off of her like a smoke you couldn't help but to breath in.

"I'm your Nii-san. I'm here to help protect you. Is that not a good enough reason?"

"It would be if we needed you to protect us."

"You do. You… just don't see it yet. You don't want these powers, Karin. They're a lot to carry."

"Bullshit."

"Karin!"

She turned to him, arms crossed and stance unwavering, looking taller than she was. "Do you wanna know what I think? I think you want Yuzu and me to stay weak so you can always be the protector. I think you wouldn't even know what to do without it."

"Kar-"

"I'm not finished," she hissed. "We don't mind you coming back. No one _minds_ it, but if you're going to come back, do it because you miss us, not because you're using us as an excuse- And don't even think of denying it, because that's exactly what you're doing. Yuzu may let you get away with that stuff, but neither of us are as incompetent as your protection makes us feel."

"I'm sorry if protecting you made you feel incompetent, but I rather you feel that way and be alive then feel capable and be dead."

"Look around, Ichigo," she said, waving her hand across the darkened horizon. "This isn't exactly a war zone, and if you didn't notice, we were doing fine without you here. We don't need you anymore."

"Oh yeah, and who does?"

"No one!" she snapped, shocking Ichigo with the sudden truth of it all. "And that's something you need to figure out a way to get over, because people _do_ want you. We want you to visit. So do your friends. I'm sure that Byakuya guy wants you."

Ichigo's hard glare wavered like a grudge he couldn't keep. He looked off the side of the building, finding more strength in the distant flickering of street lights than the eyes of his own sister.

"How do you know about Byakuya?"

"People talk. I listen." She scoffed. "Urahara-san, Ishida-san even pops, they all know. The only ones who don't know you two are together are you two."

There were as many ways as there were stars for him to contest it, but he didn't. He wouldn't say him and Byakuya, whatever they were, never exited. He wouldn't say that it still didn't.

"I guess you're not really a kid anymore, huh?"

"I don't think I've been for a while."

He observed Karin again, looking at her as if he might see things he missed the first time, things that accounted for this maturity she had slipped into as if she was simply putting on a pair of shoes. He was backpedaling, trying to pinpoint the moment she outgrew her youth, trying to figure out how he'd missed it. He guessed, looking back on things, he had missed a lot.

Ichigo went to speak, but he was cut off again by what he was starting to think was years worth of words she had been keeping tightly under her tongue.

"And the way you've been treating Yuzu, turning her down every time she wants to go patrolling with you, you have to stop. She just wants you to be proud of her. Do you think that it was easy for her, being the ordinary one?"

"Yuzu was always extraordinary," Ichigo argued. "She kept the family together after okaasan died."

"Exactly," Karin snapped, "Then how do you think I felt? Yuzu was keeping us together at home while you were out saving the world. But me? I was just there. Useless."

In that moment, looking at Karin, hair whirling around her face and sword strapped to her back, dressed and ready as if she had had the uniform this whole time, just needing an excuse to break it out, it became clear to Ichigo that the shoes she had slipped into were the ones she'd been waiting for him to take off, and by coming back with arrogant declaration of protection, he was stepping on her feet.

He was starting to understand what Senbonzakura meant. This thing between him and Byakuya, it effected his whole family in someway.

"I never realized you felt that way," he said lowly.

"Of course you didn't. Poor you, always being so burdened by your heroism that you never stopped to think about what it's like to be the family of a hero. Cry me a river, Ichigo. As hard as it was on you, it was still something you chose. The rest of us didn't get to choose to be weak." There was a crackling sound that could only mean a hollow was near. Kairn removed her zanpakuto, and Ichigo just watched as she did so, not wanting to insult her anymore by giving into the brotherly instinct that told him to fight in her place. "But it's my turn. I'm going to protect the family, or at the very least, myself. You put in your time. You don't have to be the protector anymore."

She jumped on the ledge and looked out into the veiled trouble that was Kurakura, carrying her sword with the weight of a promise, a promise that she was ready.

Before she leaped into the fullness of her new found adulthood, she said, "Go home, Ichigo. Be happy, that's all we need from you."

 **xXx**

The next day, Ichigo was knelt on the patchwork grass in front of his mother grave. He wasn't sure how he got there. He just walked, and when he finally looked up, there he was.

It wasn't as if he was searching for something, but waiting for something to find him. He waiting for a reason to stay, or perhaps, even more so, he was waiting for some moment where he could finally admit it was time to go.

It _was_ time to go.

For a while, he said nothing to his mothers grave. There was no need for a prelude or words at all. He knew she couldn't hear him, but there was a comfort in knowing that even while that hollow took her body and soul, it could never take his memories of her.

"When Karin told me to go home, all I thought about was Byakuya. He's the first person that's felt like home to me since you," he said, and somehow, that truth felt like both his biggest burden and his greatest security.

"So is that why you're running away?"

Ichigo turned to see his dad smoking a cigarette and wearing a somber expression that he reserved for moments of life or death. He wondered which kind of moment this was.

"Pops, what are you doing here?" He asked, standing.

He took a drag while looking up to a cluster of storm clouds slowly ascending upon the sky.

"That Fujita woman came looking for you at the house."

"Fujita-san? Why? Is something wrong?"

Isshin shrugged a shoulder. "Probably, but I guess you'd have to go back to figure that out."

Ichigo knew his dad well enough to know when he wanted to say something, and he knew himself well enough to know it was probably better that he listened.

For a while, he just stood taking long drags, savoring each one. "After she died, I never thought about being with someone else. Never had the urge to really," Isshin finally said, speaking casually as if he was just making insignificant chatter. "But sometimes I thought, what if I did? Would I even be able to?"

Ichigo didn't say anything. Knowing his dad, with enough time, he would give the wisdom that he knew Ichigo was too proud to ask for. Instead, he stood as the inception of a rain storm drizzled against his skin, not carrying to shield himself from the droplets.

"We got thrown into this situation together, but it turned into love. We were lucky." He pulled out a small silver case and extinguished the half finished cigarette against the metal, saying "I've been alive for longer than I think you or the girls care to realize, and I'll tell you this, real love is hard to come by."

He paused for a long time again, such a long time that Ichigo thought that he might be done. He just looked blankly towards the grave as if considering a lifetime's worth of mistakes, weighing each one out individually for it's worth.

"But damn," he finally said, "when she died, it hurt more than anything had in my long life. I'd do it again though. I think pain is our way of atoning for happiness. You can't get something without giving, ya know? But when it's right, it's worth all the pain in the world. Besides, being lonely is a hell in itself. If you're going to go through hell anyway, might as well do it with someone else. Just a thought, really." He shrugged a shoulder before placing the case back in his coat pocket. Ichigo would always remember the words he said next. "Don't make this harder than it has to be, son."

Sometimes Ichigo's thoughts were in a language dead to him, making them impossible to translate, but Isshin had this way about him, this fluency of which he read his son. He had a way about him where he could decipher those coded thoughts and break them down in a way Ichigo could comprehend with perfect clarity. Maybe it was a dad thing, or perhaps, Ichigo's lines had always been that easy to read through, but whatever the reason, he was glad for it.

' _Don't make this harder than his has to be, son.'_ It was so ridiculous how his father could condense months of confusion to pure meaninglessness with just a few offhandedly spoken words. But that was the problem all along, wasn't it? He was being ridiculous by complicating something so simple. Stripped to it's barest of importance, hearing that was like being talked down to and realizing how stupid you really were. He loved Byakuya, and that was all that mattered. That was all that should have ever matter.

He wouldn't say he wasn't still scared. He had always been, and that was just the truth. In reality, he feared all the things he could both gain and lose from being with Byakuya more than he feared any of his previous battles. There was no weapon for this, no three day training regimen, and very little if any comfort to be found. He needed a whole knew set of skills, but what he was lacking had never stopped him before. If it had, all the fear that drove him to fight wouldn't of been just fears anymore.

Damp and standing in a field of loved ones lost, he realized the irony in it all. He realized in his fear of losing Byakuya, he lost him anyway.

"Oh, and son," Isshin said as he started to walk away. "I'm kicking you out. It's time for you to stop hiding in my nest and go build one of your own."

Ichigo gaped towards a retreating Isshin before letting out a short, humored chuckle. "Thank's pops," he said under his breath.

' _I've been an idiot. Worst than an idiot. But I'm going to fix it. I need to go see Byakuya now.'_

Ichigo started towards town with the full intention of catching the first gate he could back to Byakuya, but he was soon cut off by a manifested Zangetsu.

"Really? That's all it took? Sen's been giving you advice and I call you stupid just about every chance I get, but one five minute conversation with your old man, and you're good to go?"

He wasn't quite sure why either, but that didn't matter. He just knew that, when it clicked, it really clicked. All the lights came up, and there he was, just him and a truth he couldn't not see.

"Are you complaining?"

"Nah, I always knew you'd come around. I think you did too from the moment you left Moonbeam. You just needed someone to tell you that your shit was getting old."

"I guess I did." Ichigo dipped his head shamefully and said, "Zangetsu..."

"Don't give me that pitiful look, King. All's forgiven. We have more serious things to deal with than one of our stupid fights."

"What's going on? I was just about to go find Byakuya."

"That's why I'm here," he said with a stony expression. "If you want to find Moonbeam, you'll need to come to his Inner world. King, he's not okay."

 **xXx**

Zangetsu abridged the last couple of days for Ichigo. After Kato's attack and the subsequent death of his child and the suicide of his wife, Byakuya had gone on as he always did.

Like the perfect clan head he was, he went through the mandatory investigation, giving his full cooperation. He answered all the questions with an unshaken professionalism and promptly wrote a thorough incident report. Afterwards, he filed for a sick leave with his clan and temporarily passed over his duties before doing the same with his division, delegating everything to Nel. Then and only then did he retreat to his inner world, and for the last twelve hours, he had refused to come out. Leave it to Byakuya Kuchiki to micromanage his own mental breakdown

He hadn't even entrusted Fujita with his plans, but instead, he told told her that he was ill and to not disturb nor worry about him. Of course, after several hours of no eating or contact, being the motherly woman she was, Fujita involved the clan doctor who was calling the internal retreat a semi catatonic state. Although he was unsure of how involuntary it was since Byakuya had took the time to prepare for his absence. More accurately, it was a mental health day, a determined one. In the end, he concluded there was nothing to worry about, saying he would come out soon and, at least physically, be okay. He said that maybe he needed to be in there, and to just leave him be. Only that wasn't something Ichigo could do. Not now. Not anymore.

Ichigo knew that Byakuya would come out on his own with no goading. A man like him didn't know how to stay down. He always had something greater than himself to stand back up for. Ichigo knew that Byakuya didn't need him, but he also knew that he wanted him, and even more importantly, Ichigo wanted Byakuya. He wanted to ease Byakuya's loneliness, to be the hand he reached for in the storm. He wanted him to know that this was one hole he didn't have to crawl out of alone. This darkness was _theirs_.

Byakuya's inner world was both colder and darker if at all possible. The steady snowfall had turned into a blinding blizzard, merciless in its hunger. Nothing could escape, nothing could survive.

Zangetsu pointed out Senbonzakura who stood pensively by a frozen lake. They flashed over to him, and the smile that stretched across the Samurai's face stood in stark contrast to the frosted backdrop of sorrow that surrounded them.

The spirit smiled as if Ichigo was the first peak of sunlight he'd seen in days, as If Ichigo was his only hope. He smiled at him as if he was Atlas, carrier of world's, never doubting the strength of Ichigo's shoulders. They had been molded to melt this snow.

Since the first time Ichigo realized he was in love with Byakuya, he was prepared to hold that smile and all the trust that came with it. He wouldn't leave without him.

"Where is he?"

"There's an alcove behind that waterfall that he's been resting in."

"Right," Ichigo said with a nod. "Don't worry, Senbonzakura. I won't leave here without him."

"I know," he said, taking Zangetsu's hand. "I can see it in your eyes."

The minuscule distance between the edge of the lake and the crystallized falls were like miles when up against shrill winds and the aura of pure loneliness that could be felt in every flake of snow. Once arrived, he saw that the thick ice stood like a wall separating him from Byakuya, and with only the moon's illumination, Ichigo was unsure of how to get in. He pushed out just a hint of his reaitsu for a source of light, but several icicles dissipated at it's fervor, creating a slim opening for Ichigo to shimmy through.

He had to hunch down once in the small two person cavern. On his side, Byakuya laid facing a wall made of stone, stone the color of numbness, gray with ice pendants hanging from it's grooves. Even in his bed of frost, the noble did not tremble, perhaps for the same reasons the snow did not tremble, because all the cold emanated from him.

Ichigo didn't speak, but instead, he laid down beside the noble and wrapped an arm around his thinning form. He could tell Byakuya hadn't lost that much weight, but like in the way Karin had changed, his deterioration was something more to be sensed than seen. Here in this hollow, he felt like a husk of himself, like an animal that hid away to die alone. To many, it would make sense. A lonely life and a lonely death, but Ichigo knew better. There was a resilience in him, a part that didn't know when to say when. He just needed to be reminded of it.

"You came."

There was something different about Byakuya's voice, only not different at all. It felt of nostalgia, a sound he had been away from for too long.

"Yeah, I came."

"Why?"

Suspicion set in like hypothermia, stiffening his muscles, and Ichigo pulled him in closer, refusing to let the cold have it's way.

"Don't you remember what I said the night of the bombing? I'll always chase in after you."

"But I pushed you away. I don't deserve-"

"And I shouldn't of walked away," Ichigo said, lacing their fingers together. "But that doesn't matter anymore. I'm here now, and if you want to bury yourself in this snow, then you'll have to bury me too."

Byakuya's fingers tightened around his own, but his whole body felt condensed, holding back more than the burden of breathing.

Ichigo tilted his head and placed purposeful kisses around the edges of Byakuya's ear. He trembled in warning like the foreboding signals of an avalanche. "Byakuya," Ichigo whispered in his ear, "I'm here. Let go."

Cracked breaths sputtered out of Byakuya, as if he was choking on all the snow he had let build up inside of him. "It is because you're here," Byakuya said through throbbing puffs of air. "I did not want you, anyone, to see me in this state, but especially you."

Ichigo gently turned Byakuya onto his back, keeping their fingers nitted on either side of the noble's head. The moon's light bounced off the ice, and Byakuya glowed in it's rays. His eyes were closed and his lips quivered in a fright. This was the first time Ichigo had seen him afraid of anything. "You're one of the strongest men I know, Byakuya," Ichigo said, pressing his lips on the lid's of Byakuya's eyes, coaxing him open with soft, traveling nips of his skin. "Don't close your eyes to me."

His eyes budge open, pushing through apprehension to reveal the darkest blue, tears dripping from their pull. Salty and black like the sea's abyss, this was the depths of his sorrow.

Ichigo placed more kisses along Byakuya's face, from the bridge of his nose to the peak of his cheeks, picking up his sadness and draining his tears, validating them with warmth, giving them a home on his lips. "Why did you come here?" He asked. "So you wouldn't burden anyone? I thought you'd know better than that by now."

Byakuya's eye grew smaller, as if seeking shelter. His iris shook under that shade. "I deserve this solitude," he protested. "I destroyed a life. I was arrogant, thinking I had overcame the limitations of my blindness, and what is worse it that my actions were not deemed punishable. This is the only repentance I could find."

"You made a mistake, Byakuya."

"I am, at times, baffled by the limitations of our language. The word mistake does not begin to convey the magnitude of my actions. I took the life of an unborn child, but not just any unborn child, a child who had reached full sentience, who recognized the voice of it's okkaasan and reveled in her warmth. I do not deserve such warmth. I…"

"Byakuya," Ichigo whispered, gripping tighter their hands, "staying here won't make up for what happened. Only living with it will, learning from it, and you will, because you're strong. And when you don't feel strong, you can borrow strength from me."

Byakuya's eyes opened fully to him now, scavenging every inch of his face as if keeping them for later, making Ichigo realize that this was the first time Byakuya had ever really seen him since the war. He had always wondered how Byakuya would look at him if he could. There were many times he considered the possibility, but it hadn't prepared him for what he saw behind those eyes. Watching Byakuya watch him felt like realizing what love looked like for the first time.

"Alright. I suppose it is time for me to come out now."

"And I'll be right behind you. I promise."

"Does this mean... you are coming back to Soul Society?"

Ichigo ran a thumb over Byakuya's bottom lip, his eye's following the finger as it did so. "Where else would I be? That's my home."

"Ichigo," Byakuya whispered, saying his name like a request, one he granted in the form of a deep kiss.

As their lips moved against each others with certainty, Ichigo felt a heat grow beneath their palms and spread through the tiny breaches of their loosely bound hands. Specks of light found its way in and the ice started to drip, thawing rapidly as their kiss intensified. With the incandescent devotion of their touches, they brought back the sun.

All around them, the world began to melt.

 **xXx**

 **Suma** **Akila:** **Thank you for your comment! The sad parts should be pretty much over from now till the end.  
**

 **Tifanny91: As stupid as those two were last chapter, I didn't want to drag you guys around anymore. So here we are.**

 **Darklight14: You're lovely. Thank you dear. Those two are pretty ridiclious, but it's apart of what I love about them.**

 **M3gan15x: And you are lovely too. :) A bit of their extraness is my fault, but I just can't help it. Thank you! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Heya. So sorry this chapter took so long. Shit happened, as shit tends to do. This chapter is also really long, so much so that I broke it into two. (Perfect Darkness: Part one, Perfect darkness part two) Ill be posting these in tandem, hopefully no more than thirty minuets apart.

Okay, you savages, I figured I should reward you for putting up with my stephan king length, self indulgent, glorified shippers manifesto, and if you're a freak like me, well all know half the reason we stick around is for the smut. So go crazy, you animals, I'll see you in church.

If I wasnt clear, **explicit** lemon ahead. You've been warned.

 **SN** : There are still two more chapters ahead of this (Three if you count part two of Perfect Darkness) Ill reply to comments at the end of the next chapter. Please review and keep giving feedback. It's critical for these last two chapters guys.

 **Terms to know**

Wasurenagusa: Forget me nots

Kareshi: Boyfriends

Aibou: Partners

Koibito: Lover

Okasan: Mom

 **Song: Fink's "Perfect Darkness."**

 **Perfect Darkness: Part one**

 **xXx**

 **"Keep those brown eyes wide open for a.**  
 **for this moment we own for now.**  
 **And everything we gonna do we do it.**  
 **See the black clouds fall out of fear.**  
 **Feel it rise up in perfect darkness.**  
 **Perfect darkness is all I can see."**

Byakuya could feel Ichigo watching him. He could feel his tentative glances and deliberate breaths that held an unspoken question. As they managed the paperwork and discussed varying issues that Ichigo missed in his month long absence, an apprehension thickened their typical dynamic.

It had only been a day since Ichigo returned to Soul Society, and because of their busy schedules, they barely had time to see each other, lest of all address what this heaviness between them actually was. Only, just because they had not discussed the changes didn't mean Byakuya didn't feel them within himself. He had became restless, more conscious of Ichigo's presence than ever. He had been feeling uncertain, not of his feelings, but in how to proceed with them. In the simplest of teams, he was nervous, and he could only assume Ichigo was too.

On his part, it was ridiculous. Besides the fact that he was once married and has had several sexual partners, he was suppose to be unflappable, not wobbling his way into a courtship like some bumbling teenager experiencing their first love. And yet he was. This was wholly new to him, and maybe that was the difference. He had never loved someone who loved him back.

"How are you holding up?" Ichigo asked somewhat abruptly.

Byakuya's pen drifted above the parchment and the space between his eyebrows crinkled with the frustrated abandonment of a balled up piece of paper.

"You do not have to handle me like a cracked vase."

A more sympathetic side understood Ichigo's predicament. He had ran away to his inner world, a world turned black and destitute by his own cruel sorrow, but he was fine now. He would always be fine, because what else was there to be?

"That's not what I'm trying to do," Ichigo said with none of the irritation Byakuya had expected. No, there was an understanding, one that knew enough about Byakuya to possibly destroy him. "I just… care. I know you won't talk about it, but if you need to, I'm right here."

He let the back of his palm bump against Byakuya's, brushing his fingers here and there, offering a subtle comfort that the noble could do nothing but revel in.

His heart was pulsing more intently, each beat feeling almost punctuated, and his skin tingled with this cold heat, as if to let him know how much these touches meant. And kami, did he know. How could he not understand the thrilling heaviness of Ichigo's hands?

He sighed in a sort've surrender. "I am simply… doing, which is better than wallowing. I know you are here," he acknowledged somewhat softly, "and that is how you help me the most, by replacing silence with your presence."

"Woe," Ichigo said, a grin in his voice, "who knew you were such a sap, Byakuya."

Byakuya tutted and redirected his attention. "This is why we can not have a moment, Ichigo."

Ichigo chuckled, and they continued in their work, delegating members of their squad to different assignments. All the while, their hands were still bumping on the desk, fingers mindlessly caressing, at times, even linking. They did this with no acknowledgment of it, continuously focused on their task, almost as if this was a simple part of their routine. This casual affection, it was such a tiny difference in detail to Byakuya's everyday, but it somehow made everything feel more worth it.

After another thirty minutes, Ichigo stood and stretched, yawning as he did so. "I'm getting hungry. You wanna grab some dinner?"

Byakuya rolled his pen and fiddled with the edge of a document in contemplation.

"Come on, Byakuya. If you don't take a break, the only thing you'll be eating is a mouth full of paperwork when you pass out from exhaustion."

He stood and grabbed his walking cane. "I suppose I should eat something," Byakuya said as he joined Ichigo on the other side of his desk.

"Good. There's this place I wanted to check out in the Rukongai."

"Rukongai? I was thinking more of a working dinner."

" _Byakuya_."

" _Ichigo_."

" _ **Byakuya**_."

The noble sighed.

"I can do this all night. Or you can stop being stubborn, and go out with me for dinner. Your choice."

"As much as I would prefer to resist you, I can not do so on an empty stomach. So I suppose I have no other choice."

"Tell yourself whatever you got to," Ichigo said, leading Byakuya by the elbow. "Now come on. I'm starving."

"Fine, but I must return by-"

The noble was hushed by an unexpectant grip on his chin and a soft pair of parted lips against his own. They were gone almost as soon as they were there, and Byakuya was left standing briskly silenced, his words just a jumble of flustered half formed thoughts between them.

"If I knew I could shut you up that way, I would've started doing it a long time ago," Ichigo walked towards the shinto doors, sliding them open. "Come on, we gotta change."

"Change?"

"Yeah," Ichigo said, a satisfied smirk in his voice, "the Byakuya I know wouldn't wear his uniform on a date."

Byakuya stood confused before his eyes fogged over in realization. "Fine," he said, folding his walking stick and putting it away. "But Ichigo-"

Byakuya strutted over to Ichigo, wound an arm around his waist, and pent one of his wrist to the door frame. He pulled their bodies together and kissed Ichigo fiercely, only a tiny gasp escaping before Byakuya's lips were too close for him to do anything but accept their demanding vicinity. Rather quickly, he pulled away from the short yet effective kiss with a smack, rubbing his thumb across the accelerated pulse point of Ichigo's wrist.

"If you are going to kiss me and then request a date, than do it correctly."

"Ye- um, Yeah. I- I'll remember that next time."

Byakuya's lips flickered in victory before he released Ichigo and continued to walk forward.

"Come on, Ichigo. You wouldn't want us to be late."

 **xXx**

"Where are we going, Ichigo?"

"It's a surprise. Consider it payback for that stunt you pulled earlier."

"It was a kiss, Ichigo, not a stunt." Byakuya stopped in his shunpo when Ichigo did. Perking an eyebrow, he asked, "Are you saying you didn't enjoy it?"

Ichigo scoffed, ignoring the blood that bloomed on his cheeks. "Of course I liked it," he muttered, grabbing Byakuya by the hand and yanking him forward. "Come on, it's right through here."

They walked through a brush path and into an open expanse of blue wildflowers. Ichigo stopped them a few feet from a rocked ledge that overlooked a river and dropped Byakuya's hand. "Well, here we are."

"Where is the restaurant?"

"There isn't one." When Byakuya's face stiffened, Ichigo said, "Don't worry, I didn't bring you out here to kill you or anything." He took Byakuya's hand again and led him over to a green blanket, prompting him to sit down.

"A picnic?"

"Mhm."

Byakuya looked almost suspicious, but settled onto the blanket. "How did you get this here?"

Ichigo smirked as he began to take various different food containers from a wicker basket. "I have my ways. Now chill out and enjoy. It's called going with the flow."

Byakuya's skin glittered under the shadowy coral sky, his lips flexing into a tiny smirk. He was always so easy to get caught up in, too beautiful to divert from, but under the locus of colors highlighting him, as transitory as they may be, Ichigo was captured. One thing was certain, this guy had him.

"They did not teach me that in etiquette classes, so I may need your assistance."

Ichigo grinned, sliding closer to the noble. Their hands touched, and Byakuya tilted his head towards Ichigo.

"I think I can do that."

"So, is asking where we are acceptable under the premise of ' _going with the flow'_?

"It's called The Light's Ledge."

A look of recognition reflected in Byakuya eyes. He stroked the petals of a wild flower, and it sprouted further, flourishing under the noble's gracious reiatsu. "Ah, so that explains the heavy scent of wasurenagusa." He ceased in his petting and moved his hand back towards Ichigo's. "The legend is, before the age of the Shinigami, a woman and her lover snuck away here to met because of their families opposition. Her lover had to go far away, but while he was gone, she died. On his way back to attend her funeral, he got lost, but was guided home by a light that emerged from this ledge. He thought that it was her spirit guiding him."

"Yeah, Jūshirō told me when I asked him where I should take you."

"You asked Ukitake Taichou?"

"Well, it was that or ask Rukia, and I was _not_ about to do that. Don't worry though, I told him I was taking someone on a date, but not with who." At the way Byakuya's eyes shifted downwards in uncertainty, he quickly added, "Not because I'm ashamed of you or anything. It's just, well, I wasn't sure if you wanted people to know, or what there is to know. We haven't really talked about what we're calling this… so…"

Ichigo's head dipped bashfully, eye's taking refuge in their untouched food, but at the feeling of Byakuya's hand overlapping his, he looked to the noble.

"Ichigo, do you want to be with me? In a romantic sense, I mean."

"You didn't know?"

"It thought, for clarity sake, the words were important this time. I think we have had enough miss communications."

Nervousness coiled in Ichigo's throat, but as if it was their relationship's first test of determination, he kept his eyes looking at Byakuya. "Yeah, um- You… You have my heart, Byakuya," he said, only to immediately lean his head against Byakuya's shoulder and let out a muffled groan. "Did I really just say that?".

"To quote your earlier words, who knew who were such a sap." Ichigo let out another whiny groan, prompting Byakuya to whisper, "You have mine, also, Ichigo."

Ichigo lifted his head, nothing more than a moment of poor balance separating their lips. "So… what do we call each other? Are we kareshi or aibou, koibito?"

"We are together," Byakuya said, barring his forehead against Ichigo's, "Beyond that, you can call me whatever you want."

"Right," Ichigo said, "I'm no good at this kind've stuff, Byakuya. It's all new to me."

"Ichigo, do know this is the first date anyone has ever taken me on?"

"Really?"

"Yes. Hisana and I, are relationship wasn't romantic in nature, and any other aibou I had were, to be blunt, only physical in nature. Meaning, this is all new to me also. So we will just have to figure this out as we go."

Ichigo closed his eyes and let out a breathy chuckle. "Were going to fuck up. Alot."

"You are probably right," Byakuya said with his own chuckle, cupping Ichigo's cheek in assurance. "But I think it will be alright. It is thrilling, the idea of messing up, as long as it is with you."

Ichigo blinked at Byakuya, his lover with kaleidoscope eyes, showing him something beautiful at every turn. Disbelief, or perhaps, gratitude, sometimes made him pause like this, look harder, look earnestly, allowing this amazement to silence him. It made no sense, really. Two men like them should've never fell in love, but that just made Ichigo happy that the world could be such a senseless place.

He responded with a soft kiss that, though full of tender innocence, was still able to make them forget exactly why they were there in the first place. They pulled back, and for a few stretching seconds, they stayed the only presence in each others scops.

Ichigo turned to the food suddenly, feeling an anxious giddiness. "We should probably eat."

"Yes," Byakuya said with a smirk, "we wouldn't want all of Fujita-san's hard work to go to waste."

"Hey," Ichigo muttered, "I helped."

The pair ate until the sun completely dipped under the horizon. They spoke in soft, affectionate tones, enjoying the easiness of each others laughter and the taste of a good meal. It was so simple, such a little thing, and yet it gave Ichigo the biggest smile he'd worn in a long time.

Afterwards, they sat leaning against a moss covered boulder with touching elbows, and though he tried to hide it, Ichigo could tell Byakuya was getting tired.

"You can lean on me if you're getting sleepy."

Byakuya looked as if he was almost considering it before he said, "I am fine."

"Pfh," Ichigo scoffed as he swiveled to lay down and perch his head against Byakuya's thigh. "I'm not too prideful to not use you as a pillow."

"You are, also, not too polite."

"You like it."

"Yes," he deadpanned, "what a great honor it is to be used as the place matt of the one and only Kurosaki Ichigo. Perhaps next you could bestow upon me the pleasure of being your personal body pillow."

"Now you're talking," Ichigo said, turning so that he was looking up at Byakuya.

The noble ran fingers through his hair, caressing each one as if he wanted to know them with an individualistic intimacy, making Ichigo sigh happily.

"That feels good. I don't think anyone's played with my hair since my Okasan."

At the memory, he reached into a fold in his yutaka and pulled out a book.

"Happy birthday, by the way. I got this for you."

"Birthday…"

"Yeah, just because you don't remember it doesn't mean other people don't." He smirked. "Old man."

"I will have you know that I am only one hundred and seventy seven years old, a young age in comparison to most souls." He held the book in his hands and ran a curious touch over the spine, asking, "What is this exactly?"

"You said that your favorite book of poetry was the Man'youshu," Ichigo explained as he lifted himself back up. "And how there's over seven editions, each one really different from the others. Well, I, um, remembered my Okasan use to read this one. It's called _Ten Thousand Leaves, Love_ _poems_." He took the book and flipped it open, running his finger over the margins before handing it back. "This is her copy. She wrote all these observations on the side."

Byakuya's eyes sat wider than usual. They were pink and yellow orbs, suspended party lights that illuminated his darkened face. When he said nothing, Ichigo began to ramble. "I know you can't read it, but I thought I could read it to you, ya know, if you want, or-"

"Ichigo, this is-" He paused, placing his hand on the cover in hesitation, as if he was uncertain on how to touch it. "This is very sentimental. Are you sure?"

"That was kind've the point," Ichigo said, feeling uncharacteristically bashful. "It's been collecting dust anyway. At least now, it'll get some use."

Byakuya gripped the book tighter with a smile, one so subtle yet full of sincerity. "Thank you."

Ichigo smiled back. "It's no problem. I wanted to."

"Do you know anything about the Man'youshu?"

"No."

"It is the first book of Japanese poetry ever created," he explained. "It was written during Japan's first golden age, when the country was not so secluded and the cultural influences encompassed a variety of foreign lands. It is, at times, erotic, but always sophisticated, and it has a bare truthfulness that has not been seen since."

The orange in his eyes only accentuated the subtle fervor of Byakuya's voice, a fervor that had Ichigo leaning in and asking, "Do you remember any of the poems?"

Byakuya nodded. "Yes, there is a poem written in the form of a love letter. The narrator is a woman forced to marry a prince, writing to her ex lover _. 'Going over the fields of murasaki grass  
That shimmer crimson,  
Going over the fields marked as imperial domain,  
Will the guardian of the fields not see you  
As you wave your sleeves at me?'_ I believe his response was-"

"' _If I despised you, who are as beautiful  
As the murasaki grass,  
Would I be longing for you like this,  
Though you are another man's wife?'"_

"You said you did not know anything about the Man'youshu."

Ichigo shrugged a shoulder. "I lied."

"I did not take you for a liar, Kurosaki Ichigo."

"What can I say? You don't know everything about me." He smirked. "... I like the way you talk about things."

Byakuya didn't say anything, but instead, he intertwined their hands. Ichigo went to say they should probably head back, but went silent at the sight of hundreds of firefly lighting up in tandem against the shadowy field of blue. "Woe…"

"What is it?"

Ichigo smiled and squeezed their clasped hands. "This is something I have to show you." Carefully, he laced their soul ribbons together and watched as Byakuya's eyes went from aimless to wonderfully focused. His lips pushed apart from each other and his brows were relaxed and at home atop his airily dazzled glare that wavered with wanderlust, wanting to see everything.

He watched as fireflies nestled into the silkiness of Byakuya's sakura sented hair and circled his head, forming a crown of floating lights. The noble looked so ethereal like this, sitting in a patient admiration with little lanterns in his hair, unintentionally guiding all life towards him. He was a naturalist, a god of fruitfulness. Flowers bloomed at his feet, foliage roused at his touch, and for that, he belonged to the earth more than he belonged to Ichigo or his clan. It made Ichigo wonder how anyone could overlook a man like this. Byakuya was worth so much more than a fleeting glance.

Ichigo forced himself to look back at the radiating scenery, saying, "I guess we know why they call it The Light's Ledge."

A sudden sensation that was not his own gave way to the audible thumping of his heart, a thumping that shut out the gushing river and thickening winds. Ichigo could feel Byakuya inside of him. He could feel Byakuya's passion in the warmth of his blood and his reverence between the beats of his pulse. He could feel Byakuya's love. It thrummed under his skin.

"Truthfully," the noble said, cupping Ichigo's cheeks, "If I can see for even a moment, I would much rather spend that moment looking at you."

A tingling heat sated his face before, bit by bit, hitting every part of his body, and Ichigo thought, ' _I haven't been this happy in a long time.'_

 **xXx**

 **Two months later**

At the inception of Byakuya and Ichigo's relationship, the noble professed his desire to _take it slow_. Of course, Ichigo came back with, _that's not really my thing._ He was impulsive and green and probably didn't understand how one even stepped forward with caution, but he agreed for Byakuya's sake and his own. They both had their insecurities and hang ups, and they both had hearts shadowed by loss and uncertain with inexperience. So, looking past the visor of earnest affection and willing bodies, they tip toed their way towards a possible forever.

Only, Byakuya soon realized that, for the first time in his long, preordained existence, he had no idea how to proceed with caution. Very little had changed in the way of their dynamic. Ichigo had yet gone to his own division and they spent their days as they always had, side by side. They'd do paperwork, share lunch, and spar with both swords and snippy banter. The only difference now was the undercurrent of nonchalant affection.

This was partially because they had yet to go public with their relationship and partially because the two weren't overtly affectionate people. In fact, most of the time, they showed their fondness through teasing comments or a constant yet low key flow of tender gestures. A slight touch here, a brief caress there, punctuated by stolen kisses, all private and delicate.

Yes, nothing much had changed, and yet somehow, everything had, because Byakuya was slipping, readily and with little internal restraint. Everyday, he fell more recklessly in love with Ichigo, and he didn't know how to slow that down. Really, he didn't want to.

There was only one wall he kept up, one he guarded like a fort, the last resistance against enemy fire. But as Ichigo wiggled atop of Byakuya, hands tangled in his raven hair, he began to run out of ammunition.

With each sunset, their thwarted lust would reach new peaks, pushing Byakuya one step closer to rising that white flag. The more he held back, the riskier were his advances. It went from above the cloths exploration to a bold slid of the hand, tilting that line by daring the uncharted expanse of each others blushed torsos. One night, he lost it, flipping Ichigo onto his back, sinking screams out of him with soft suckling bites of his hip bones. Tonight, his hands were squeezing Ichigo's bottom, pushing the younger man's harden frustration right into his own.

Things were getting crucial.

He had his reasons, and though they often got muddied in moments like these, they were still there. Senbonzakura, however, said it was his insecurities, but Byakuya said it was just sound logic.

"Kuya," Ichigo moaned into his mouth, shooting the warning signs of deeper arousal into Byakuya. He had to push back. "Yeah, I know. Sorry."

Ichigo moved to his knees with a huff, and Byakuya could imagine him running fingers through his hair, tugging away his irritation.

"Ichigo," Byakuya began, deciding to distract them with a subject change, "I believe we should tell the Elders about us. They will find out eventually, and I would rather get ahead of it."

"... Okay."

The reluctance in Ichigo's voice yielded a sigh of disappointment from the nobleman. "I can speak on our behalf if the idea makes you uncomfortable, and while they will know, no one else has to find out if you do not desire-"

"Don't you even go there, Byakuya. Don't think for a second that I'm ashamed of you. I've only been so quiet about it, because I know how your family is, and I didn't want to push you into a situation you werent ready for," he explained firmly. "You're not my secret, Byakuya."

There Ichigo went, always finding a way to make the arrogant noble reevaluate, anchoring him with these constant reality checks.

"Of course, I'll go with you. We're aibou, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Okay then," he said. "Than don't expect less than that of me. I was just surprised is all. It came out of nowhere.

"Perhaps seemingly, but I've been thinking on it for a while now. I do not want to continue sneaking around like a pair of horny teenagers, and I want to be with you properly."

Ichigo responded by scooting over and straddling Byakuya's lap. "Well, guess what, Byakuya, I am a horny teenager," he said with a chuckle, smirking against the noble's budding pulse point.

"But." _Kiss._ "I think you like it." _Nip._ "The sneaking." _Lick._

"Mhh, perhaps you're right, but only because you are a horrible influence."

They shared deep, open mouth kisses, running their hands all over before Byakuya pulled back and whispered, "You are a very hard man to resist."

"You don't have to resist, you know?"

Byakuya said nothing, just loosened his grip, and he knew his silence spoke louder than any words could have.

Ichigo moved back slightly, still hovering above Byakuya, but with some more breathing space in between.

"Why are you so reluctant?" Ichigo asked, and Byakuya could practically see the scowl Ichigo was desperately trying to bite back. The way Ichigo attempted a more mature approach in their communication was dauntingly endearing, even if the younger man often failed. "Look, I'm not pushing you, but- I mean, I'm the virgin here," he murmured, "shouldn't I be the nervous one?"

Ichigo made a good point. He had this innocence about him that goaded Byakuya in animalistic ways, ways he wouldn't easily admit to, but that morsel of purity was also met with an eagerness to learn, to be taught. That is, if the motivation was right.

With a mixture of impulsiveness and desire, Byakuya wasn't sure if the young man even knew enough to understand that he should be nervous. Surely, in the moment, it would hit him.

But Byakuya had his own reasons to be nervous, and he didn't know how to express his concerns without possibly hurting Ichigo's feelings and certainly hurting his own pride. So he just said, "I see no need to rush."

"That's such a put off, Byakuya." There it was, that gritty voice so obviously delivered through a grimace. "Whatever. I'm going to bed."

The noble understood Ichigo's anger. He was being vague and illusive, obvious in his veiled truths, and he knew it was unfair. Ichigo, a wall of stubbornness, was moving for Byakuya, and here the noble was, not even willing to loosen his bricks.

Ichigo went to stand, but Byakuya grabbed his hand. "Wait, Ichigo. Sit and let us talk."

His hands sat flat and neat against his lap like stationery, and he checked his voice for any clogs that might make him stumble, because he was Byakuya Kuchiki damnit. Even if he was going to be vulnerable, he certainly wasn't going to look like it.

"You know that it is not an easy feat for me to be so open with someone."

"Yeah…"

"Well, there is something… explosive about giving your body to another person. You are laid bare without any means of control. It takes an enormous amount of vulnerability and trust. That is a frightening thing for a man like me."

"But you said you had other aibou, right?"

"Yes, but those were just flings," he explained, waving a hand indifferently. "The thing you will learn about sex is, the more attached you are to your bed mate, the more electric it often is. With them, it was luke warm lust at best, an impassive moment of desire, but with you," he said more softly, "It is an act of love." The noble heard Ichigo swallow, but otherwise stay still, and he decided it was best to finish showing off his wounds. "When you touch me, Ichigo, I am afraid there is nothing I can not hide from you."

Byakuya wasn't sure what he expected. To be teased for the embarrassment that surly glinted in his eyes, for Ichigo to be angered and offended by the implications that he had not earned Byakuya's full trust, they were all possible options.

Only none of those happened. Instead, Ichigo placed a soothing hand against his cheek and said, "I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I know this kind've stuff doesn't come easy for you, but you're trying, and that's all that matters. We don't have to rush this."

"So you are not upset?"

"Why would I be?"

"I thought that you might think I was doubting you."

"Yeah, well, maybe you are, but that's okay," he said with a smirk. "Doubt me all you want. That just means I get to prove you wrong."

Byakuya smirked back. "You have always enjoyed a challenge," he said, leaning in to kiss Ichigo, softly at first and then with the force of all his mounting desire. "Soon," he whispered.

Ichigo let out an answering hum. Then they untangled and stood up, and before the words could become lost opportunities, Byakuya asked, "Would you like to share a bed with me tonight?"

"...Sure, but I can't promise I'll be able to keep my hands off of you," Ichigo admitted, chuckling lowly at the truth of the statement.

Byakuya walked to his sleeping quarters and stood within the open doorway. "Who said I wanted you to?" At the throaty, muffled groan Ichigo gave behind him, Byakuya smirked to himself.

"But I thought you said-

"Yes, and I meant it. So if you start to find me all to irresistible to deny," he went on, perking a brow, "I do have my means of restraining you."

There was an instantaneous swoosh, and Byakuya let out a brassy chuckle and nosed his arms around Ichigo's neck as he was lifted into a bridal position and hauled towards his sleeping quarters.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go to bed, smug bastard."

 **xXx**

In Ichigo's absence, it wasn't so much the lack of words that created an unbearable silence. Neither of them had ever been huge conversationalist, often preferring quality over quantity when speaking to one another. Not that Byakuya didn't love their conversations, as they were always stimulating in someway and never felt stale, but they were also never had just to fill empty spaces. In fact, sometimes the two could comfortably go hours without saying anything at all.

So while their lack of conversations contributed to that month of white noise, it was more of the lack of Ichigo's presence that created such a void. The little sighs and grunts he made, the way his bones popped when he stretched, the muttered obscenities under his breath, those were the real missing treasures in their time apart, and while they stood wordless in front of the Elder's chamber doors, Byakuya needed those more than ever.

It had not really been in his plans to move so quickly with this, but life didn't care much about his agenda. Tomorrow, Ichigo, after months of rigorous negotiations, would finally finalize the peace keeping treaty. Then he would present it to The Grand Elder Council the next day, and if everything went well, Central the day after that. By the end of the week, he'd be inaugurated into the Gotei Thirteen as the captain of the fifth division, which in an of itself would set off a waterfall of cascading duties. If this wasn't handled now, it could be the sort've thing they put off until circumstances forced them to do otherwise.

So here they were, waiting outside of the Elder's chambers for an attendant to come present them.

"You okay?" Ichigo asked, "you seem a little nervous."

"I suppose I am a bit anxious."

Things had been relatively easy for them over the past couple of months, and even though Byakuya held no delusions about the fact that it wouldn't always be this way, he knew this would be a leap into the first of many complications they'd have to overcome. Still, he was nothing but resolved.

"Mostly, I am annoyed. We have been waiting here for over half an hour, and I have paperwork that needs my attention."

"Byakuya, you finished more paperwork in the month I was gone than you probably have since I became your fukutaichou."

"I believe that says more about you than it does about me," Byakuya said with an almost imperceivable smirk.

"It says that I'm a distraction. You just like me too much."

"Or more accurately, it says that you are loud and obnoxious."

Ichigo tutted.

"Ass hole."

"Child."

Ichigo linked their hands together.

"It'll be okay."

Byakuya pulsed his grip lovingly.

"I know."

 **xXx**

The meeting didn't last long. Overall, considering no lives were ruined or swords drawn, it went as well as Byakuya could've asked for.

There were the expected exclamations of disgust and the aplomb questioning of Byakuya's good senses and loyalties. There were words that sounded a bit too close to threats and the bastardization of Ichigo's intentions. In the end, they were sent away with less of a blessing and more of a temporary tolerance, along with a warning from Daichi that he couldn't shield them completely from whatever negative reactions the rest of the council might have.

Actually, it was Daichi who was the most receptive, if not completely accepting, much to Ichigo's surprise. Not so much for Byakuya though. Despite what transpired over the past year, Daichi had always been the kindest to Byakuya. With how long he's been in the family, their ties ran too deep for much less.

However, what had been more pleasing than that was Ichigo's behavior. He met their accusations with declarations of his own determination, asserting himself without being _too_ aggressive.

Of course, once the doors closed behind them, all of that concealed anger was being taken out on the floor as Ichigo stomped his way back to the main wing of the mansion at Byakuya's side.

"What the hell," he grumbled. "Their your fucking family! How could they talk to you like that? Even my family accepted me, and let me tell you, where I'm from, being gay isn't an okay thing."

When Ichigo settled into peeved mutters, Byakuya pursed his lips to hide a charmed smile at the younger man's petulance. He was sure Ichigo wouldn't appreciate it.

"It actually went much better than it could have. I'd say we should take this as a small victory." Byakuya paused, considering. "I was both impressed and grateful for the way you handled the Elders. Thank you."

"Of course, I'm going to back you up. I love you! Which is more than I can say for those dusty bastards."

Byakuya stopped, something his head and feet were not complicit in, and he thought how unbecoming he must look, flabbergasted into stillness and holding his walking cane as if it was something he found, not owned.

Ichigo, on the other hand, kept moving forward, still grumbling indiscernibly as he did so, seemingly unaware of the words he had said, of the words he had never said. Not until right now.

"Ichigo Kurosaki," Byakuya said, speaking in a tone that he would not typically use with his lover, but more likely with his subordinates, because what kind've confession was that? It was abrupt, practically an afterthought to his anger, a reflexive. There was certainly nothing romantic about it. It was so… so Kurosaki Ichigo, and something about that made Byakuya want to laugh.

He wouldn't, of course. Soft chuckles in Ichigo's presence were one thing, but boisterous laughter was another level of earnesty his stringent upbringing just wouldn't allow. So instead, his lips stiffened into a small smile.

"What!?" Ichigo lashed out, seemingly whipping around in a halt.

"I love you, also."

And then all of that anger seemed to dissipate, replaced by one of the most bewitching displays of stammering innocence Byakuya had ever witness.

"Oh, uh- well, I… Good," he finally settled on, saying it as if he wouldn't have accepted anything else from Byakuya. Honestly, Byakuya wouldn't haven't accepted anything less from himself either, because he had loved Ichigo before he had even known he loved Ichigo. It was only because of Ichigo's initial hesitancy that it had never came out.

Byakuya walked forward until he sensed that he was standing beside Ichigo. He dipped his head, and in a voice teeming with implications, he said, "Perhaps when you return, I can show you just how much I love you. Yes?"

A palpable blush emanated from Ichigo. Or perhaps it didn't, and Byakuya just knew him well enough to say that it was most certainly there. Either way, he felt an almost sadistic satisfaction at mortifying Ichigo into silence and decided to leave it at that, continuing on his walk forward.

Before flashing away, he said, "Do try to hurry back, Ichigo."


	23. Chapter 23

**Terms to know:**

Warji: Traditional Japanese sandals

Ginpaku: Heirloom scarf

Nemaki: Traditional Japanese sleeping robe

Fundoshi: Traditional Japanese underwear.

 **Perfect Darkness: Part two**

 **xXx**

Once Ichigo returned to Seireitei the next day, he rushed to the mansion, took a _thorough_ shower, and went to find Byakuya.

When Ichigo stepped onto the deck, he saw nothing but the swaying silhouettes of the garden giving way to a lively darkness, and the winds that hit his face were crisp, carrying with them a foreboding thrill.

He leaped down, the grass tickling against his heels as he observed the inky sky, clouds dripping amidst their creeping travels. Then a sudden inciting sensation belonging only to Byakuya made every pore on his body widen and fill with the biting thirst of a hunter. He then began down the path and further into the garden, the dense umbrage sucking both on him and the light, calling him deeper into a darkness. Walking through its thickness, he felt more hollow than he did man.

As he advanced, hints of Byakuya's reiatsu were purposefully left behind like the footprints of a prey that yearned for consumption. He understood now, Byakuya wanted to play.

Ichigo's put on a smirk and his gut let loose a growl that stopped in his chest. He shunpo, picking up bread crumbs of Byakuya's presence. At first, it was just flares of energy, but then it was his warji, _ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu_ , and lastly, the obi of his nemaki. Ichigo picked up the wayward garment with a small chuckle, running fingers over the cotton. Byakuya could never make anything easy.

He drove forward with instinct, every part of Byakuya a mouthful in itself, but not enough to satisfy. They were just fragments, and Ichigo wanted the real thing.

Then, a pacifying melody permeated the fruitlessness of his hunt, beckoning him. It was a siren's song, and as Ichigo stood in front of the gallery of glass that was the Jigokucho sanctuary, he realized it was not him who'd be doing the consuming.

A new found nervousness wreck his bravado, wavered his prowl, and it took a leap of gumption to make it through the doors, but when he saw Byakuya there, he could barely feel the feet beneath him, let alone any fear.

It had a been almost a year since the war ended, a war that amounted to one day of their lives, and yet it occurred with such a thrusting cruelty that it still provoked and prodded all the days since. That's why they called it tragedy. You couldn't escape the effects of that sorrow, you could only try to shape them into a better future.

Back then, before the war, Byakuya had just been a part of the background that framed Ichigo's existence. It was like living in a town for years and passing by the same shop each day. It had always been there, and although you saw it, it was never with more than the most basic level of regard. Only one day, not out of destiny or the aligning of stars, but out of a strange string of coincidences, you walked in. You walked in and you wondered how you've never had before, because it's vast, and it's interesting, and somehow wonderfully underrated, and you think to yourself that you have found your new favorite place in this world.

Byakuya use to be no more than a speck in Ichigo's eye, and now he was the whole damn pupil, all because of the war. That was more than Ichigo thought he deserved.

Byakuya pressed down on ivory teeth, and music came from the mouth of the instrument. Around him were butterflies radiating bright greens and blues and candles putting off flames that wrinkled the darkness, and maybe it was just from where Ichigo was standing, but it seemed like the whole room centered around him.

There were things Ichigo felt that people just didn't say. They were the kind've words you put in love poems or waited until it was too late to voice. They were too earnest, too forward, better displayed through the filter of nuanced actions, but if he was a bolder man, a man who was better at turning emotions into words, he'd tell Byakuya to lay down his haori, to undress for him. He'd tell Byakuya to settle his head on his chest, to give Ichigo his worries and his tears and let him scrub away the tar that decades of solitude caked onto him. He'd tell Byakuya that there had been many people that he's wanted to save, but for the first time, there's someone he wanted to take care of, and if it wasn't for him, he wouldn't even know the difference.

He would tell Byakuya that being with him was like turning a house into a home. There was endless potential in it's already beautiful foundation, and the more love you put into the walls, the more it gave back. You hung up pictures and planted a garden in the front, opened up curtains and slow danced on the hardwood. In return, it comforted you, challenged you, gave you a place in this world, and in the end, it wasn't the house that needed you, but you that needed the house.

He would tell Byakuya that he deserved love, because he always gave it away in the same manner that someone might pawn an item of sentimental value just to feed their family. He would tell Byakuya that he deserved love because he was always so willing to sacrifice it for someone else. He would tell Byakuya that he wanted to love him in the ways no one ever had, but Ichigo didn't know how to say those things, so he did the only thing he could.

He walked over to the noble and placed hands firmly against both shoulders, shifting the olive fabric to show a sliver of him. Byakuya stopped playing, and in the silence, Ichigo dipped to place lips against that skin. "You're beautiful," he whispered, kissing and running a tongue over that patch of porcelain, taking in it's fresh flowery taste.

Byakuya gave a sound of relief in the way one might do when rubbing ice across their overheated skin. Ichigo smirked against his shoulder. "What do I get for finding you?"

The noble turned around on the bench and stood, taking Ichigo's hand and bringing the wrist to his lips. His eyes were silver like mercury, liquid lust, as he placed kisses along the thick vein that protruded from the appendage. "What is it that you want, Ichigo?"

Ichigo shuddered, because no one should be able to make a name sound like _that._ He bit his lip and took a steadying breath. "You."

Byakuya's lips paused and he said, "You're nervous."

Ichigo knew it wasn't a question, but he also knew it wasn't a judgement. He gently released his wrist and placed his hand against Byakuya's forearm. "I need you to teach me," he said, forcing it out with an impressing amount of confidence. "I know some things, like how to prepare."

"Prepare?" Byakuya asked, and if he didn't tilt his head in genuine confusion, Ichigo would've thought the noble was purposefully torturing him.

"You know," he muttered, shutting his eyes in mortification, "I'm clean and everything."

Byakuya put on a tiny smile before pulling Ichigo close, placing one hand on the small of his back and one on his nape. "I will teach you everything you need to know and then some," he whispered against Ichigo's ear, making his body deflate in relief. "...but I want you to take me tonight."

Ichigo edged back a bit and asked, "Take you? You mean…"

Byakuya confirmed his worries with a nod of the head, and Ichigo tried not to let out an audible gulp.

"Why?"

"Because, you are giving me an important part of yourself, and likewise, I would like to do the same. No one has ever been inside of me."

A heat went from Ichigo's stomach to his hips, and his heart became a stuttering mess. He wanted to give Ichigo something precious and untouched, only for him, and Ichigo felt more power in holding that part of Byakuya than he ever felt when gripping the hilt of a sword. Because it wasn't about his blood, or his DNA, or any innumerable amount of circumstances that had been put upon Ichigo that made him special this time. He had earned this, earned Byakuya, not because of fate or lineage, but just because.

"Are you okay with this?" Byakuya asked.

"Hell yeah! I- um, I mean, yeah." Byakuya chuckled lightly and Ichigo said, "I just don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. I will teach you." He perked a brow, adding, "And the best way to learn is through example."

When Byakuya stepped back, Ichigo noticed for the first time that his nemaki was open, giving way to a lithe expanse of soft yet sculpted muscles, everything exposed other than what was underneath a cotton fundoshi. He had seen other guys nearly naked in the locker rooms, but none ever made him squirm like this. Then again, none of them were Byakuya.

Byakuya looked so wickedly risque that he preoccupied all of Ichigo's attention. He didn't even notice when Byakuya pulled out the bench. "Will you sit, Ichigo?"

Ichigo's head snapped up, and he did so without words, an excitement curling in his toes and shooting up his legs. Byakuya stood behind him, placing a hand on Ichigo's shoulder.

"Let's start with an anatomy lesson, shall we?"

"Uh, s-sure."

Byakuya placed two fingers in a small bowl of heated oils and rubbed it against his palms. He slid his well worn hands slowly up Ichigo's neck, pressing each individual finger into any tension felt on his slippery track. He raked through Ichigo's hair and added pressure with the tips of his fingers, kneading the scalp in little circles. Then he descended, pushing into all the small hollows of Ichigo's neck again before going further, repeating this process with the blades and wells of his shoulders.

Ichigo was so pleasurably relaxed under those glazed hands that he barely realize when Byakuya moved in front of him and settled onto his knees. He used one thumb to round the edges of Ichigo's ear and the other to carefully outline the exterior of his quivering lips, giving him a prickly feeling in the corners of his mouth.

Ichigo let out tiny little moans, rolling the balls of his palms into the glossy bench as he was emptied and refilled with different sensations.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing to me?"

"These are your basic erogenous zones," Byakuya said as his fingers dipped again, and he gently jutted his thumb and index into the groove beneath Ichigo's collar bone, making his head droop and his mouth wilt into an 'o'. "Like right here, this is your clavicle. As you can see, it is extremely sensitive."

"These, however, are the same for everyone. I have yet to find the spots specific to you, Ichigo. That will come later."

"Where did you learn all this? Don't tell me you've got a copy of the kama sutra hidden away somewhere?"

"Not hidden, but yes," he said, "and as your sensei in the sensual arts, this will be your first assigned reading."

Ichigo let out a humored snort. "You're enjoying this too much, Byakuya."

The noble pressed harder into his clavicle, pulling a gasp from Ichigo. "And you are not?"

"F-fair point," Ichigo panted. "Just- ah - don't be an ass about it."

"I make no promises," Byakuya said as he placed a hand on Ichigo's obi. "May I?"

"...Yeah."

Byakuya tugged at the fabric and nudged the nemaki until it was slipping down Ichigo's shoulders. He placed more oil in his hands before he ran them in a crisscross fashion across Ichigo's torso, past his navel and towards his pelvic. Then he started again, this time intentionally placing a lingering force. From pectorals to hips, he moved as if his nerve endings had a memory of their own, using a gliding scrutiny to preserve Ichigo's every pit and ridge.

Ichigo never felt more turned on than when watching Byakuya trace him like brail. Eye's closed and mouth slightly ajar, he looked so gravely engrossed, as if Ichigo's body was the most important thing he'd ever read.

"I love touching you," Byakuya admitted, pressing fingers between the indentions of his abdomen in the way one might press keys on a piano, willing music from Ichigo's mouth. "It is like I am drawing a map of your body in my mind. It is almost like I can see you."

Ichigo caressed Byakuya's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the creases etched into the noble's palm. "Touch me all you want, Byakuya."

And touch he did. From the crook of his elbow, to the silkiness of his inner thighs, all the way to the balls of his feet, Byakuya touched him everywhere. Sometimes with just the stroke of a finger, sometimes with gentle scratches, and sometimes with greedy handfuls, he took all of him, teaching Ichigo what it felt like to be savored bite by bite.

When Byakuya touched his perineum, Ichigo dug nails into his palms, refusing to climax that easily.

"Byakuya! Can we- ahh - I-I want to touch you."

The noble looked hesitant to stop, but did so before holding out a hand.

"Lead me to the futon, Ichigo?"

Ichigo took Byakuya's hand before he thought about it too much and lead him over to a candle and oil surrounded futon situated near the far end of the sanctuary. Their hands were still laced, and even though Ichigo was guiding Byakuya, it felt very much the other way around. Byakuya turned to face him and tugged on one of Ichigo's hands until it was sitting atop his chest and eclipsed by his own.

Ichigo felt many things in that moment, like a winding tightness, swelty, slithering down to his loins until they became thick. He felt swollen all over, so sensitive that even the slightest chill was like being urged forward by some unseen force. He felt the perspiration of palms rumbling against Byakuya's chest and an overall sickness that might have made a different kind've man take a few steps back.

But Ichigo wasn't a different kind've man, and where some would step back, he moved closer, focusing not on how he felt, but on Byakuya. The noble's eyes became a white silver, striking like lightning, and his heart was an S.O.S signal, fluttering with an erratic significance, screaming at Ichigo through the dark.

Not a cry for help, but a sort've gospel that circulated by means of its existence, proclaiming a validity that only Ichigo could hear. The scripture between the lines of those beats told him that when Byakuya's lips were stiff or when his voice was taciturn, Ichigo was the only one permitted close enough to feel the truth just beneath the skin. Where others only got fragments, he would always get the full Byakuya.

Ichigo traveled the roads of ivory with the prudence of a student driver. Breaking at the tie of Byakuya's fundoshi, he licked his lips and gave it a suggestive nip.

"Can I?" he asked.

"You have full access every part of me, Ichigo. Touch me however you please."

He talked how they had both talked all night, low and with words that dragged, as if they were telling secrets that only them and the mood could keep, as if they feared the world outside might grow ears and intrude on a moment belonging only to them. That it might ruin it, as the world often does.

He talked how they had both talked all night, only with words Ichigo couldn't muster without the film of a timorous smirk. He said them as if they were so basic, but Ichigo understood the victory behind every syllable. He knew how many walls had crumbled for them to get here.

Ichigo proceeded to unravel Byakuya with an honor, doing so weary of any reckless excitement, knowing the noble only gave his body freely because he trusted Ichigo to treat touching it as a privilege. Once all the clothing was an abandoned pile by Byakuya's feet, Ichigo withdrew just enough to regard the noble, pay homage to that temple of flesh and marvel at it's fullness. Byakuya was perfect like this, wearing nothing but the bare essentials.

When the noble did the same with Ichigo's nemaki, he thought that there were no more walls between them, no more layers to be shifted through. They were risk takers, danger seekers, more gallant in the rawness of their nudity than they had ever been in battle. There would be scars, they were too exposed for it to be otherwise, but that was okay. The armor would just weigh them down.

A Jigokucho landed on Byakuya shoulder, making thicker lines of the vague slopes that made up his body. Ichigo saw something he'd never noticed, and though he thought he'd seen Byakuya shirtless in the past, this was something he wouldn't have had to look for. Amidst his pearly, nearly blemishless skin, there was a singular scar. It was healed over and off white, a vestige of the day they fought for Rukia's life. At least, that what Ichigo had been fighting for. It wasn't till later that Ichigo realized Byakuya had been fighting for something much more.

He ran fingers over the risen tissue, and Byakuya's breaths became heavy enough to be heard over the rain that hit the ground like the shattering of plates.

"It is the only scar that would not completely heal," Byakuya said, "My soul would never let me forget."

Ichigo lips acted without prompting as they pressed against the old wound, taking in everything it represented in the way one might look back at faded pictures with the advantage of matured eyes.

Byakuya's knees became wobbly and his breaths took on a denser distribution, almost as if Ichigo had pierced him again, opened the wound back up with his lavishing mouth. When Byakuya let out a little moan, Ichigo grabbed chunks of the him, desperate to know how the nobleman felt in his hands, and somewhere between instinct and yearning, they clumsily made their way onto the futon.

By the time they were laying side by side, the two were joined in deep, wet kisses, finding a good rhythm that sat somewhere between not too fast and not too slow. It was gradual and natural and everything men like them weren't suppose to have, but they did. It was told in the marks they'd go to leave on each others bodies. It was heard in their hushed honesty that would sometimes get lost to the storm.

They did not rush through this, but simply sipped from each others skins. A whole world couldn't be swallowed whole, after all, and that was exactly what they were to each other, whole worlds added to their own.

After a while, Ichigo was against Byakuya's chest and propped up on his elbow, head braced against his palm as to create a slot for the noble's arm to slide through. Byakuya took full advantage, sweeping over Ichigo's jaunty, taupe hued nipples while teething at his stretched neck, causing him to search for more of that delicious feeling by pushing deeper into the curvature of the noble's body

Byakuya trailed hot breaths up Ichigo's neck, making him scrunch his shoulder at the tickling sensation. He stopped at Ichigo's ear and slowly tongued it's curved exterior.

"Ichigo," he whispered, "can I show you how to prepare me?"

"Yes," he said without a moment's thought.

"If you want me to stop at any point, tell me," he said, positioning his rolling hips as to tease Ichigo's slit with his cock. "I want you to feel safe here."

Ichigo let out something between a moan and a chuckle. "Trust me," he said, "if I wanted you to quit, I don't think I'd have any problems."

Byakuya let out a shallow, husky chuckle that spilled into Ichigo's ear, making him tremble. "True, but I would prefer the word stop over a show of violence."

Ichigo shoved into him teasingly and said, "Less talking and more touching, or else I really will give you a _show of violence_."

Byakuya let out a tiny growl before he whispered, "Yes sir," and if there wasn't something so shamelessly playful about it, if not downright patronising, Ichigo would've been surprised at the submissiveness of the words. Either way, he liked it. He liked it alot. He liked it even more when Byakuya drenched his fingers in an oil warmer that sat right in front of them beside the futon, only to drag those lavender scented fingers below his waist and into untouched territory.

Ichigo inhaled sharply at the gauging touch, prompting Byakuya to start caressing his chest again before pushing him deeper against his own.

"You must relax," Byakuya said. "It is imperative that you do not constrict and that you keep your breathing steady."

"I'll try."

"Ichigo," he asked, "Do you trust me?"

Ichigo turned to look up at Byakuya, about to tell him not to ask stupid questions, but something in the way he looked mad him consider. With the hand not supporting his head, he thumbed the noble's cheek. "Yeah, of course."

'It will be uncomfortable at first," Byakuya explained hypnotically, voice a deep, whispered lull as he circled Ichigo's hole. "But I will not hurt you...Relax for me."

Byakuya's preparations were as leisurely as they were meticulous, and Ichigo could feel nothing but the rising of his body temperature and the piloting tongue of the noble's doing somersaults around his own. "You are amazingly respective to this," Byakuya said after a while , "You've already taken one of my fingers whole."

Byakuya stopped plucking at his nipples to apply more lube, but much to Ichigo's pleasure, he quickly returned those nimble fingers. He continued to drink from Ichigo's lips, that succulent mouth seeming set on showing him all it had, doing things he never even knew a mouth could do. He swiped his tongue across the roof of Ichigo's mouth before using it to trace his now plumped lips. Then Byakuya ghosted his mouth over Ichigo's, close enough to taste his breath but far away enough to tease, pulling back every time Ichigo tried to regain to sensation of the noble's lips on his own.

Ichigo growled, hooking Byakuya's nape and pulling him down until their lips aggressively collided. Byakuya let out a sinful, one syllable type chuckle, the trill of which Ichigo could feel reverberate in his chest.

"Touch yourself, Ichigo," Byakuya ordered with such a gravelly girth that Ichigo's mouth moistened and cock swell at the sound, making Ichigo stroke himself with firm and even tugs, not having a moment of reluctance or a single question.

A twisting of Byakuya's fingers brought a sudden revelry that rebelled against his senses. So much so that he could not see past the unwitting tears that spilled from his eyes and onto his grappling lips. Nor could he hear past the static of his own lurid moans. The only half coherent thought he could form was how much he didn't want it to stop.

"That's it, Ichigo, keep making those sounds for me."

He crowed at the pleasure Byakuya both gave and took away graciously, prodding Ichigo's wanton hole only to shift his fingers in an act of mercy whenever it became too much. Ichigo was suspended in the devotion of Byakuya menstruations. He wanted more. He wanted to sink deeper into those penetrating fingers.

With all his efforts, Ichigo pushed into the arch of Byakuya's body and the heat that could be found there. It was a heat of depth, starting from within and working it's way out until all that was left was an insistent fever. The kind that might make ashes of Ichigo's mind before it left his system. The kind that you gave everything to.

It felt like a welcomed eternity, how long Byakuya moved inside of him, speaking into Ichigo's ear with the lunacy of wrecked man, parched and salivating. Still, he moved with a courageous amount of restraint as he told Ichigo everything he was doing and how many fingers he was doing it with. He instructed. He loved. He gave, and amidst the pure sensation of it all, Ichigo ended up turned towards Byakuya, head burrowed into his stone heavy chest.

His body was cradled by Byakuya, oil and sweat making friction of everything, and somewhere between Byakuya's deepening plunges and their mesh of slippery parts, Ichigo was rubbed in all the places to make something within him snap.

"Let go, Ichigo."

Ichigo's nails lodged into Byakuya's shoulder blades as he was practically carried through his climax. In Byakuya's graces, he could get no hotter, and all that was left to do was combust.

"Ahhh, Kuya!"

A rivulet of come splashed between them, and with the way his head and body struggled for a semblance of unity, Ichigo felt as if he was on the precipice of another world, like one might feel when being pulled back from the doorway of death.

He had never been a religious man. In Ichigo's world, God's were, at the least, self proclaimed, narcissist made insane by their abundance of power. At the most, God's were just ideas and feelings people believed in, but laying here with Byakuya, he thought that maybe he had found his own personal sanctity. This was the greater power. It was love, and in its light, Ichigo felt the closest to a spiritual high he could get. He was nothing compared to what they were when together.

Maybe it was melodramatic. Maybe it was all chemicals, but rather you called it science or religion, it all radiated in the same way. It was all born from the same feelings.

For a while, Ichigo just laid their, covering Byakuya's heart with his head, listening to way it thumped furiously. He felt a mellowed, almost drained felicity, the whole of his body thrumming as if to say it had been through something and would never be quite the same.

Amidst that floating haziness, he drifted upon thoughts that pulled him under with their discomfort. Ichigo thought that as much as he wished Byakuya could belong to him, he never really would. People didn't even really belong to themselves. They were just borrowing bodies and time, temporary possessions delved out by the world indiscriminately. If you were lucky, someone would come along and share their own borrowed time with you, but eventually, wars happened, mothers and friends died, and what felt like something being stolen was really the world taking back something that never belonged to you in the first place. All you could do was bargain for more time and hope that the world was kinder to you than most.

The coldness of this thought came in with such an uninvited abstruseness, like the frosty gust of a snow storm bursting through the shutters of his heart. It was a nasty thought that had no place here, the realization that this would end one day.

Byakuya had removed his fingers and Ichigo's hole throbbed at the lack thereof. He turned so that he was on his back, holding Ichigo against his chest while raking through his hair.

"Sleep," Byakuya said, "you've exerted yourself."

Ichigo didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to miss a chance to touch Byakuya while he had it, because if he learned anything over the past year, is was that the sun doesn't always rise for everybody.

"Don't be so cocky," he said, swinging himself to straddle his lover. "You're good, Byakuya, but not that good. Besides, I think you still have something you need to give me."

"You are correct. I do, but only if you are able to take it."

"You worry about yourself, old man," Ichigo said, smirking down at Byakuya. "I've got stamina on my side."

 **xXx**

There was a reason people jumped out of plans, a reason people drove fast and dodged moving trains. There was a reason people danced with death right under their feet and knocked on its door, running away before it could come outside.

There was something vindicating in challenging death. It was as if stepping that close to it freed you from its immanent presence, because you couldn't know what it felt like to be truly alive without being willing to die.

Byakuya understood, because loving Ichigo with no safety net was the most terrifying thing he had ever done, but within that horror, he found the true meaning of deliverance.

Trembling skin against trembling skin.

Bones bumping like the nervous chattering of teeth.

Calluses pressed in contrast against fleshy tendons. Goosebumps underneath persistent lips.

Untamed curiosity and pitless enthusiasm, toying tongues and scouring nails. Gropes meant to bruise and kisses meant to show piety.

Bodies that absorbed each other's shapes like clay absorbed fingerprints. Palms and heels that enjoy the steepness of their slopes. Synchronized pulse points.

The bustling labor of vocal chords wailing amidst a rapidly approaching dawn. Piles of limbs wrestling against hypersensitivity. The scent of musk and petrichor.

Their love making, it was an endeavor for the senses, magnified by this perfect darkness. Every nerve ending Byakuya had was alive and screaming.

It was real and silly, at times, even bumbling, but always primrose, and to Byakuya's joy, the best was still yet to come, leaking and twitching at the brim of his prepared hole.

Ichigo was sitting up, one hand on the curve on Byakuya's back and one hand on the base of his cock. Byakuya took a collective breath, allowing the caressing thumb of Ichigo's to sooth him into further looseness before he gyrated onto that stiffness.

He shimmied past the head, taking in only a hint at first, but it felt so deeper than it was. From the way Ichigo caught curse words in the clench of his jaw, Byakuya knew he felt the same. Immediately, he wanted more.

It surprised them both when he propelled himself on the entire length of Ichigo's ample cock, making raspy groans rupture from them both. Ichigo had prepared Byakuya with a perfect mimicry, four fingers, slow and thorough, excessive with lube, but perhaps he had been a little too eager, because it hurt more than he'd admit to out loud.

After a few moments of restless stillness, they braced each other, and Ichigo's breaths fluttered in his ear.

"Shit, that- ahhh." He let out short, overwhelmed pants. "You're amazing, Byakuya."

"I believe it is you who is amazing, Ichigo," Byakuya countered, still spinning from the ineffable fullness of it all. He kissed Ichigo for the love of his flavor, and because it came naturally to him, he took the lead, dominating their pleasure with expert precision, making the younger man moan in raptor. That was until two hands clamped down on his swiveling hips and stopped him completely.

"I want to make you feel good this time."

At the determined request of guidance inferred in Ichigo's words, Byakuya nodded and placed Ichigo's hands on his bottom. "Wrap my legs around your waist and move onto your haunches."

Ichigo did as instructed, and Byakuya dug his heels into the futon behind them to give him some leverage. Then he overlapped his hands with Ichigo's, encouraging him to squeeze his suppleness. "Use your thighs and hips to thrust into me while lifting my bottom up and down your shaft."

Ichigo did zealously, jutting with all the strength of his pelvic in full albeit messy stabs, but despite the way he moved like an exuberant greenhorn, there was such a rawness in his want. He was a blank slate that just begged to be brimmed with all the things Byakuya could teach, and there was something incredibly sexy about that.

As the man's upward drive became more controlled, yielded more of a technique, Byakuya's ass hit the base of Ichigo's ramming cock with a euphonic string of squelches, causing a heat to gradually color his stretched cheeks before working its way up his every vertebrae to sit at the bottom of his neck.

He looped his arms under Ichigo's pits and hooked his hands into the stratum of churning muscles that made up the younger man's back. Knowing just how to goad his lover, Byakuya said, "Find my prostate, Ichigo. Make me tremble around you. If you think you actually can."

Byakuya could all but see the furrow of Ichigo's brow and the curl of his lips as he squeezed the noble's ass with more vigor.

"You know better than to doubt me, Byakuya."

"Perhaps I do not. You may need to teach me a lesson, Ichigo."

It took several different position changes before Ichigo started striking him with a cunning accuracy, and it took all a moaning Byakuya had to move in time with his rolling hips.

"Have you learned your lesson yet?" Ichigo asked, sucking at the junction below the noble's ear.

There were a dozen snippy comebacks Byakuya could've said in challenge, but he was too lost in the balmy heat of his gut . All he could do was melw dreadfully into Ichigo's neck and clamp down on the body that was hurtling him towards climax.

Within the amorous haze that filled his mind, there was only one thought that could slip past his lips.

"Ichigo, I-I love you," Byakuya blurted, broken and completely open.

Ichigo shoved them back, laying Byakuya down into the feather cushion before entering him deeper. "I love you too," he said, hoisting one of Byakuya's thighs well past his midriff.

Their clinging bodies glossed against each other, propelled by the mixture of lusty fluids that smeared them. Ichigo rooted his heels into the futon and immersed himself further into Byakuya's pucker hole, attempting a greater depth with each shove, as if he might breach the most guarded parts of him if he only went far enough. Byakuya's head careened, head reeling into a delightful fray as he hissed out pleads, pleads for Ichigo to finish inside of him.

"You first." Ichigo smirked, running a tongue across Byakuya bobbing adam's apple. "You should know, Byakuya, that's just good manners."

Byakuya would have reminded Ichigo that manners never mattered to him before, but all he could manage was breathy, half spoken demands of more, more depth, more speed, just more.

"Ichigo, pull my hair!"

Ichigo gripped his locks from the roots and bared into Byakuya's hip with bruising fingers in search for greater leverage. He growled into the scoop of Byakuya's neck, and the noble swore he heard a muttered ' _mine_ ' uttered into his shoulder. It was a possessiveness Byakuya didn't know Ichigo was capable of, but one that was wholly welcomed.

In his life, many had tried to possess him. People had tried to possess him through money or demand, but this was different. This was a willing and mutual possession, one of heart, and a heart could never be taken by force.

Ichigo pumped into him several more times until he reached an almost painful peak, bursting out of him and stretching out into one of the most drawn out orgasams he'd ever hade. How long had it been since he touched anyone's body, or even himself? Decades or more, and now, after a sexual drought, his come poured out with the intense longevity of a ruptured dame.

Ichigo pulled back marginally, his cock still moving in even, almost trance like strokes while he muttered something that didn't meet Byakuya's ears. He knew Ichigo was watching the lewd display, appreciating the way he arched and tremored into convulsions until the walls of his insides clamped down around the younger man, making him thrust with more vigor. Byakuya felt Ichigo's sinew form tense and shudder, his cock twitching in a fritz, and was finally gifted with that warmth he had craved so badly.

Ichigo collapsed onto Byakuya, limp and spent, and they shared needy breaths as they tried to regain some of the sanity they lost.

"Fuck," he panted out. "Shit… fuck."

"Hm, eloquently put, Koibito."

They shifted, sharing exhilarated chuckles and finishing kisses. Ichigo moved off Byakuya, but stayed close, showing his affection not with words but in the way he thumbed circles against the noble's moistened cheek. Byakuya turned towards Ichigo, and they laid there in blissful silence, exchanging tiny, meaningful touches.

"We're gross," Ichigo finally said, "We should go get cleaned up."

"A soak in the bathing chambers would be nice."

Ichigo ran a concerned hand down Byakuya's tremoring leg and asked, "Do you need me to to carry you? You're shaking all over."

"Now who is being cocky?" Byakuya tutted. "You did not break me, Ichigo."

Ichigo gave an amused scoffed. "So you're saying it was not the most wonderful, mind altering sex you've ever had?"

Byakuya hummed as if actually pondering the question. "You at least ranked in the top three," he said, only to laugh lightly as Ichigo wrestled him onto his back, pinning his wrist down beside his head and kissing him gently.

"Then I guess I just have something to work towards."

Byakuya closed his eyes and sighed against his lover's lips.

"I'm glad it was you."

Ichigo's grasp loosened but stayed anchored.

"Me?"

"Yes," Byakuya said, rubbing his thumb up and down Ichigo's wrist. "I am glad it was you I gave this part of myself to."

"Worth the wait?"

Byakuya cupped Ichigo's face, reveling in the warmth beneath his palms before pulling him down for one more lingering kiss.

"You, Ichigo Kurosaki, are worth every instance of heartache that lead me to this moment."

The muscles of Ichigo's face went stiff before slacking completely. Then he leaned in for a sudden kiss that both tasted and felt like desperation. When he pulled away, he tucked his head into the crook of Byakuya's neck as if wanting to hide in it. Byakuya wrapped Ichigo in an embrace, and he curled deeper into the noble like a child seeking safety. "Ichigo," Byakuya asked, "what it bothering you?"

"You know, it's been almost a year since the war."

"Yes, it has…"

Ichigo shifted closer into that swaddled heat and moved his arms to sit pinched and dolefully toiled between their chest, like a baby bird who just couldn't fly. His lips moved with him and pecked against the noble's neck, as if feed off its clamminess. It made Byakuya wonder when was the last time Ichigo had felt safe.

"This is the happiest I've ever been, Byakuya," he said, the whispered admission pouring down the noble's shoulder to pool at the bottom of his throat. He understood.

"You are frightened."

His arms and legs ruffled again as if in confirmation, and Byakuya tried to sooth away that agitation with musing caresses.

"It's stupid, thinking like this."

"I do not think so. What I do think, however, is that one would be very air headed to never consider such inevitabilities." He combed fingers down Ichigo's back and twisted his neck to press lips against his forehead. "Brooding reflection is the curse of intellectuals. We are not so easily distracted by shiny things and passing novelties."

"Worthless then."

"Perhaps or perhaps not," Byakuya considered. "It depends on your perspective. Understanding how fleeting moments are can help you appreciate them."

"I know, It's just," Ichigo sighed, fidgeting in his spot, "I keep thinking that it was all stupid luck. I keep wondering what makes us any more worthy than all those people who died that day."

"Nothing. You are correct when you say that we are lucky, and I for one do not plan on wasting that good fortune." Byakuya fingers slowed, smelling the roses that was Ichigo's body. "Right now, you are real and tangible in my arms, and I will both soak up and add to that warmth everyday the world continuous to allow it. That is my promise to you."

There were times, times when Byakuya was at his most self indulgent, when he dwelled on the darkness, when he allowed it to still scare him. It would stretch out in front of him like an unnavigable chaotic sea, and he was sure he'd be stranded in it. But then there would be Ichigo's heart beat, clear and constant, the sound of steadier tides, and then the darkness became nothing but a way home. Byakuya didn't want to think about a day when he couldn't hear Ichigo's heart anymore.

So he pulled him closer, because that's the only thing you can do to alleviate these sort've things.

"And my promise to you is that I'll always fight for more days."

"I would expect nothing less."

Ichigo nipped at his neck. "Thanks."

"For what, exactly?"

"Just for being you." He smirked, worming his way in between Byakuya's legs. "And for teaching."

"Hm, it helps to have a devoted student."

Ichigo fanned hands across Byakuya's shoulders and growled against the vein of his neck. "I think the student might surpass the teach pretty soon."

There was a spark to Byakuya's lips before he flipped Ichigo onto his back with a swift execution. "Nonsense, you'd need the better half of a century to catch up with me, upstart." He lowered himself to mouth Ichigo's hip bone before teasing the fine hair leading to his newly revived cock. "Lucky for you, I am nothing but a generous teacher. Our next lesson will be an _oral_ presentation." When the younger man let out an anticipatory moan, Byakuya said, "And Ichigo, I will be on top this time."

 **...**

Up next: Baby Byakuya.

 **xXx**

Darklight14: Thank you for your constant flow of sweet feedback. I'm glad it could effect you in such a way.

Tfinaay91: It was quite the long ride, yeah? I like to think it made the destination all the more worth it. Thank you for your review, love.

Dust-of-moon: You and me both, darling. You and me both.

Nuria Sato: This is genuinely one of the nicest reviews I've received it a while. Thank you so much.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Hey guys! So this is it, the last chaptr. I was originally going to write an epilogue, but it seems redundant considering I will be writing a sequel for this story. Which, let me tell you, I'm so hyped about. It'll be a while because I need to make some headway on some other stories, but look out for Slow Dancing: Seeing is Believing or just add me to your favorites

There's not much left to say except thank you. Your support has meant so much and I honestly hope I could make you guys feel at least a fraction of the happiness you gave me.

About reviews, I usually respond at the bottom but fanficton is having some technical problems and won't let me see any of my comments at the moment. Still, I really want to hear what you guys thought of this last chapter, so please drop me a review

 **Terms to know**

 **I would like to apologize for my, at timss, lack luster translations. Often in japanese there are many words for the same thing depending on the level of formality. For instance, I had Byakuya using Otōsan for father when Chichi was the correct tearm. I'm going to go back and fix all the mistakes as to keep with continuity.**

Muken: Prison

Shitagi: Undershirt to a soul reapers uniform gobantai: 5th division

Chichi: Formal way to say father

rokubantai: 6th division

oi/mei: Niece/nephew

Tochan: This is the most casual way of saying father without being rude

Musume: Daughter /span/p

 **Song: The Cinematic Orchestra's "Build a Home**." (Guys, this song is literally half the reason this fic exist. It inspired a big part of it and every time I lacked the will to finish, I always went back. I definitely encourage you to check it out)

 **The Brightest Hour**

 **xXx**

 **There is a house built out of stone**

 **Wooden floors, walls and window sills**

 **Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust**

 **This is a place where I don't feel alone**

 **This is a place where I feel at home**

 **'Cause, I built a home**

 **For you**

 **For me**

 **Until it disappeared**

 **From me**

 **From you**

Byakuya bypassed his nightly tea and walked into his sleeping chambers. He left the shinto doors open as he undressed so that he could feel the breeze against his now bare skin. The wind grazed over his body like it was grazing over an empty battlefield, with a hollowness to its howl, essence-less without something there to feel its caress. There was no one living underneath his skin. The wind was wasted on him.

Without really knowing how, he was dressed in his nemaki, tying the obi almost mechanically with a foggy disconnect between the movements and his awareness of them.

Byakuya suddenly felt a heat at his back and an encouraging firmness against his exposed chest. He knew those steady breaths intimately, had felt their warmth on every part of him, and only wished to step from under these layers of dissociation so he could feel them fully once again.

"I called out to you, but you didn't answer," Ichigo spoke into his neck, his silvery voice charming sensation back into Byakuya's skin. "You're doing it again, that thing where you go inside yourself."

As much as he loved Ichigo, it couldn't be helped. If Byakuya was the rapidly spinning earth and Ichigo the sun, their love was the gravity between them that kept him in orbit. But no matter how anchored he was, the earth would always just be the earth, a landmass of imperfections, simply lucky to have the sun's attraction.

"Love can only do so much. You can not fix me, Ichigo."

"Hey, where's that coming from?" Ichigo asked. "I don't want to fix you, Byakuya. I just want to support you."

Byakuya wavered, almost allowing himself to be knocked out of Ichigo's orbit before leaning back into him. "I know… I am sorry for lashing out. It is my own insecurities, I suppose." He dipped his head with a dejected huff and said, "You always manage to surprise me. Being young and inexperienced with relationships, I did not expect you to be so much better at this than I. Sometimes I wonder how am I to keep up with you."

Ichigo shifted Byakuya's hair all to one side of his neck before peppering the other with soft kisses. "It's not a race, Kuyakik," he said, "and if it is, we're partners in it. I'll fall too, but when I do, I know you'll be there to help me up."

Byakuya leaned his head against Ichigo's shoulder and angled his arms behind him, clutching the fabric covering his lover's hips. "Make love to me," he said, careening his neck and pulling Ichigo deeper against him.

Ichigo's hands washed over Byakuya's torso and cascaded past his belly like brisk water. "So demanding," he muttered, lapping at the length of skin Byakuya had stretched out for him. He dragged his lips to nip at his lover's ear and said, "Tell me how Kato's hearing went first."

"...I chose to beseech for his execution."

To most it would seem cold, and perhaps as he stood in front of the court, he was in that Kuchiki head space where only logic and ice existed, but his intentions, they came from a place of mercy. Kato lost his whole family because of his own actions. That was punishment plenty. Living centuries in Muken, only to be made by those memories, living at all, that was the cruelty. Byakuya had learned long ago that sometimes death was a kindness in itself.

Yes, to most it would seem cold, but Byakuya knew Ichigo Kurosaki wasn't most. Even still, for one moment, he worried that the sun would stop spinning around him.

"You did the right thing," Ichigo said, and Byakuya not only felt like he was living to see the sun another day, but as if the sun itself was telling him he deserved it's light.

"I know," Byakuya said back, and he knew that was the end of the conversation. Ichigo had this uncanny way of knowing what was worth pushing for and what wasn't, and Byakuya loved him all the more for that.

"Now, I believe you are to hold up your end of our bargain."

Ichigo let out a low, surrendering growl as his hands fluttered up to Byakuya's nipples, nipples that throbbed under the pressure of kneading fingers. He sucked at the noble's neck and dipped between his legs to tease his perineum, making his whole body curve.

"Like this, Byakuya? I know you like it when I touch you here."

"More."

It was down right debased how needy he was for Ichigo. Completely shameful the way he always refilled on his lover, but Ichigo made it so easy to undress from his pride when he stripped from his clothes, because he did the same. Ichigo gave so graciously and took with the same gluttony, and really, that was Byakuya's greatest pride, being able to fill up this amazing man in the same way he filled up on him.

He had been starved for so long, and certainly, he didn't deserve this, this delicious fullness. He didn't deserve Ichigo at all.

Several moments of indiscernible passion later, Byakuya clothes were discarded and unimportant, and even though he was sure he had met each step with equal enthusiasm, the noble couldn't quite recall the moves that had brought them here. Ichigo had prepared him with an eager readiness, but the enjoyment of it was muddied by this persistent fog, one Byakuya dearly wanted to disperse. Because on the other side of that fog, was Ichigo, Ichigo and his unfiltered touches. On the other side of that fog was everything that was real and meaningful to him.

Once fully settled, he let out a sigh, and Byakuya's body followed his lead, opening up, reveling in how snug Ichigo felt inside of him.

His eyes popped at the press of a hand against his mouth, but he soon calmed when Ichigo's words seeped in through the fingers silencing him.

"Relax," he said, words as soft and lulling as the swiveling of his hips. "Right now, right here, it's just you and me."

Byakuya's whole body sunk beneath those words, his eyes closing in a slow motion as Ichigo hoisted a leg to wrap around his side. Ichigo did not thrust in and out, but simply rotated his hips. He gradually worked his way in until he found the deepest point of Byakuya, and once there, he moved at an agonizingly slow pace, his cock ceaselessly caressing the noble's most vulnerable and sensitive spot.

Ichigo left no gaps between them. No grinding or the slapping of skin, just meshing, molding, two flavors giving their all to each other until they were one.

Honey and whiskey.

"Feel me inside of you. That's all that matters right now."

All of that condensed pleasure coiled into the pit of his belly, bulged against the capsizing hand that covered his mouth. From the pulp of his hole, to the futility of his moans, Ichigo subjugated every part of him. How freeing it was, to be imprisoned within the cage of his lover's body.

He had never peaked so quickly in his life.

Byakuya's thighs and arms latched onto Ichigo, and as he arched in release, his lover pressed a hand into the small of his back to push them as close as physical boundaries would allow. When a creamy heat filled him, Byakuya's legs relaxed and Ichigo rested against his forearms. The euphoria simmered and settled in between their touching chest.

"Feel better?" Ichigo asked, a dazed smugness in his voice.

"I did not teach you that," Byakuya said wryly, looping his arms around Ichigo's neck and gracing his jaw with teasing nips.

"It's called independent study."

"How studious of you," Byakuya jested, combing his fingers through Ichigo's haphazard locks. "I did not know you to be so dominant in bed. I… enjoyed it."

"I really didn't either," Ichigo said, a curiosity to his tone, "but I like it too."

He rolled off of Byakuya, but only long enough to scoop his shitagi from off the floor and wipe the come from off both of them.

"My attendants wash those. I would rather not have my laundry be the topic of gospic."

"Hey," Ichigo reasoned, "that's why I choose the shitagi. It's white. Besides, it's not like they don't know."

Byakuya sighed and shifted his eyes. "I will teach you manners yet, starting with how to properly utilize tissues to their fullest extent." When Ichigo snorted humorously and plopped down at his side, the noble said, "We should bath."

He went to stand, only to find a imploring arm wrapped around his waist.

"In a little bit," Ichigo said as Byakuya allowed himself to be tucked into the curve of his lovers body. "Just want to hold you for a while."

Although it wasn't rare to find themselves wrapped in a post love making heap, Ichigo was never so declarative about his wants. Byakuya understood though. Ever since Ichigo had began his new post as a captain, with the maelstrom that was the squadrons complete lack of organization and coherent leadership, matched with his inexperience, most of his time was spent in the disarray that was the fifth division barracks, and as a result, these private, easy spoken moments seemed more like an occasion than a constant.

Byakuya helped, often going to the fifth division after his work was through to find Ichigo all but drooling over a wall of paperwork. He did this both because it was a reason to be with his lover and because he knew Ichigo wouldn't take offense. The younger man wasn't a prideful being like himself, and as such, he welcomed the assistance of anyone who could help him in becoming the best captain that he could be. He would, of course, become an amazing leader. Everything he needed to be one was already inside of him, and Byakuya felt honored being able to help cultivate that potential.

Sometimes Byakuya wondered what would happen when Ichigo outgrew him, certain of its inevitability. He had to shake those thoughts away, not because they were particularly unreasonable, but because they weren't helpful. Because there were times when Byakuya wondered why Ichigo, the man who could have anyone, chose him. Because he knew those thoughts could compel a man like himself to push Ichigo away. Because he wouldn't let his past heartbreaks and that classical Kuchiki conditioning dictate him. Because he had to believe Ichigo's affections were true despite the fact that Byakuya loved in the same way a scratched record played. Because he had turned sadness into fear and fear into coldness, but when Ichigo touched him...

When Ichigo touched him, everything went still. The only thing Byakuya could hear was the beating of Ichigo's heart telling him this was real, and he realized that, for a man like that to love a man like him, there had to be more to himself than he could see.

Byakuya laid there blissfully nestled in between Ichigo arms. He enjoyed feeling Ichigo's chest at his back, and he knew Ichigo liked the feeling of protecting what was his own. Here in the privacy of their bedroom, he would gladly give that to Ichigo.

After a few minutes of idle cuddling, Byakuya could feel Ichigo's breathing become shallow, indicating that he was nearing sleep. When he began to make little throaty noises that weren't quite snoring, the noble knew they probably wouldn't be getting a bath this evening.

'He has been so busy with making the gobantai functional again that he must be exhausted, and yet, he was so generous in our love making tonight. I, at times, wish that my pride did not get in the way of expressing how grateful I am. Everytime I try, I hear those same voices, telling me how ridiculously sentimental I am being.'

In one swift and stealthy maneuver, he turned in Ichigo's hold, careful not to wake him. Once facing him, Byakuya traced the dimensions of his face. The slack muscles and shifting eyelids told the noble he was entering a deeper sleep.

"The man who never knew his Haha. The man who lost both his chichi and ojisan and his only friend. The man who loved a woman who could not love him back, whose only importance was determined by elders who cared nothing about him, that is all that I was before I met you, Ichigo." He paused, shifting so that his head was umbrellaed under Ichigo's chin. "I was distant and cold, and in ways, I will always be. I spent so much time hiding from the world that, eventually, it began hiding from me. I belonged nowhere. I was simply walking in between planes of existence."

It was peculiar behavior, speaking in such maudlin capacity words that were received by no one as if he was practicing lines, and maybe he was. Maybe he was rehearsing for a day where his bravado outweighed his pride.

"But you knew that feeling too, yes?" he said, circling Ichigo's face with an affectionate sweep of his hand. "Our gallant hero with flowers at his feet. So many flowers that you began to drown in them." Byakuya leaned in and kissed softly his forehead. "You are so much more than a hero to me, Ichigo Kurosaki."

Ichigo's eyelids shuttered, the duvet rippled, and he let out a yawn, prompting Byakuya to pull away.

"Hey, 'Kuya, ya say something?"

"No," Byakuya fibbed, thumbing circles on Ichigo's cheek. "Just admiring."

"Well admire closer." Ichigo muttered, pulling Byakuya back into the comfort of his body, tucking his head under the nook of the nobles chin. "I'm cold."

He stuck a leg between Byakuya's pair and sighed contently before asking, "So, you're going to be a parent tomorrow. Are you nervous?"

"Terribly."

"You'll be great. Just look at how you are with Artemis. You bake her homemade treats and spend thirty minutes every night brushing her coat."

"Ichigo, she is a dog."

"Exactly, how do you think you'll be when it's an actual kid?"

Byakuya blinked thoughtfully.

"With Hisana," he said, "I could feel our child growing inside of her. See it. With this child, I believe it is just now hitting me that this is really happening. I am now riddled with questions and concerns in the same way I was with Arisa. How will I raise them, my heir, with the same expectations I had without the same heavy heart?"

"I don't think there's any helping that, but they'll be loved by you, Fujita, Rukia… me."

The finger caressing at Ichigo's naked sides paused, and Byakuya realized he overlooked something massive.

"Ichigo, we should talk about that."

"What's there to talk about?"

"Ichi-"

"You think too much sometimes," Ichigo said, rolling onto his back and bring Byakuya with him. "There's somethings you can't plan for, but I'm with you, whatever that means."

Kurosaki Ichigo, his lover. He was stubborn, and at times, arrogantly optimistic, but he was also right. He couldn't plan for this, not completely, but he could dream. He could dream of Ichigo and himself raising this child. He could dream of birthdays and weddings, first steps and the laughter of children, and everything else he never thought he could really have. Maybe by himself they would always stay just dreams, but Ichigo was the type of man that turned dreams into reality and reality into stone pillars.

"Besides, I'm not completely thoughtless. I knew this would happen when we got together."

"Yes, you are not completely thoughtless."

"Shut up and go to sleep, will you?"

"Very well," Byakuya said, making a place for himself against Ichigo's chest. "And Ichigo?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

 **xXx**

Ichigo was nervous.

He wouldn't admit it, of course, but it was there, wet on his palms and wadded up at the bottom of his throat as he allocated Gotie members into small, organized units.

This was his first mission as the leading captain. This was his first mission ever, and with the credulous encouragement of the commander, Jushiro, and of course, Byakuya, he stood on that faith.

It was simple. Each group had a chain hitched glass cylinder filled with Byakuya's Kidou fused reiatsu, and all the needed to do was insert them into different, predetermined locations across Hueco Mundo. If all went well, they'd be back to Soul Society before dinner.

Ichigo stood with his group - Grimmjow and a member of the 7th division, but they were missing someone. Irritable and in a hurry, Ichigo shunpo back to the bass in search for the absentee Rikichi.

He pushed through the flapped entrance to see Rikichi rubbing fist into his eye sockets, standing with what looked like a book tucked between his pit.

Rikichi looked up with glossy eyes, making Ichigo's scowl drop into a curious frown.

"Sorry, Kurosaki Taichou."

He stood tall, if not a bit frail, but Ichigo wasn't the type to need impressing.

"Rikichi, what's wrong?"

His chary hand wavered as he reached for the book. With shadowed eyes, he flipped to a partially charred page.

"You know, they finally finished construction on the rokubantai barracks."

"Yeah…"

"Well they had a big box of personal items that were found in the rubble. I found this journal right before coming here today. It belonged to Renji."

Ichigo's anxious, mission ready feet became attached to the moment and his head perked forward as if he was listening out for the echo of a sound made years ago.

"It's silly," Rikichi said. "I haven't cried since I found out that he died, but this...It just got to me."

It made sense. People were haunted houses like that. We scrubbed the floors, dusted the cobwebbed corners, and opened our doors up for the new and the living, but there was no telling when a ghost might come walking through our walls.

"I think… I mean, I know from reading this that Renji was in love with Kuchiki Taichou, and I guess it reminded me of all the things he'll never have."

It was odd, the way people process information. When someone says something, you typically take it in easily and respond to it readily. Now, however, at those words, at those completely unpredictable, ridiculous words, Ichigo didn't feel anything. He didn't even feel confused. Instead, he just stood there, loading, the words spinning in his head like a buffering icon, slowly becoming part of him forever.

The confusion came, and then there was the immediate denial.

"Wh- How? Why would you say that?"

Rikichi declined his head towards the journal and recited:

"Lips, pink parted softness

And cruel, like your petals.

Wreck me with that blade."

He closed the journal and looked up. "I'm not big on haiku's, but it seems pretty obvious to me. There's a dozen just like that, and I…"

Ichigo was no longer listening, just tumbling through confusion. He wasn't sure how he felt. All he knew was that he was emotionally compromised. Something inside of him wasn't the same as it was just moments before, and rather this was passing or permanent, he wasn't sure what to do with that change.

"What the hell are you ass holes doing in here?" Grimmjow asked, punching his way into tent. He must've noticed the trouble staunch in their expression, because he stopped his scolding long enough to look at them with scowling eyes. "Can yall save the girl talk for later? I want to get this over with," he said before leaving the tent again.

Ichigo was happy for the intrusion, because he could've spent days it felt like trying to understand something that might not even be solvable. For now, he had a mission to complete.

 **xXx**

Byakuya's whole body felt like the hollow of a drum, a thumping sensation filling him as he moved closer and closer to the twelfth division.

As he entered, he noticed that Mayuri's reiatsu wasn't nearby, and for the first time in his life, he felt grateful for the presence of Urahara.

"Ah, Kuchiki Taichou, I've been waiting on you. I presume you're here to pick up the future heir to the Kuchiki legacy?"

He had been sent a hells butterfly telling him that his child was being "completed" today, and at what time he should arrive, so he wasn't all too appreciative of the frivolous small talk, especially when that thumping had turned into a pounding that sat right between his eyes.

"Yes, I am here to pick up my child."

"Well here you go," Urahara said, and just like that, there was an infant plopped down in his arms, and it was so sudden and unusual and now he really wished there had been more small talk because what was he suppose to do with this little person he was cradling?

The abruptness of it all stole any reaction that he might have made, and instead, he stood there all slack faced and lacking.

Byakuya heard stories of parents counting the toes and kissing the plump little fingers of their babies, and he thought himself just fanatical enough to be one of those people, but in these first few pioneering moments of parenthood, he couldn't do much of anything. He just looked down with a pinched face and thought that he was more scared of this swaddled bundle of infancy more than he'd ever been of anything.

Urahara chuckled and Byakuya latched down on it, using the sound to pull himself out of his stupor.

"And what is so amusing."

"You. I've seen you face down the biggest and baddest monsters out there, and you've never looked this scared. Looks like we've found your weakness, Kuchiki Taichou."

Urahara was only stating what was already obvious to them both. Byakuya was petrified.

He could take a life without thought or mercy, but could he grow one?

"You did not just use my genetic material, yes?" Byakuya asked, because questions were easy, met by simple facts. Nothing at all like taking this blanket full of budding reiatsu and responsibility and turning them into a strong, decent, and perhaps most importantly, happy spiritual being.

"Of course," Urahara said, "It adds variety to your gene pool and makes for stronger, healthier offspring."

Right. First and foremost, this child was his heir. They were successor to his legacy. That was easy. That was teachable. He couldn't possibly mess that-

Then they squawked and garbled, squirmed in his arms as the beginning of a tantrum came on, and in an instant, they were so much more than matching D.N.A. They were chubby cheeks and baby rolls. They were late night feeding sessions and bedtime stories. They were tears and toothless smiles and needy, worming hand, but mostly, they were Byakuya's child. They were apart of his soul, and just the sound of their cry was enough to call on it.

Almost reflexively, he cradled them closer to his chest and whispered calming words, prompting Urahara to say, "Who knew you were so nurturing, Kuchiki Taichou."

Byakuya remembered Ichigo's words as he sat with their hands smothered in dirt, growing those trees right after the war.

' **You give things life'**

Yes, yes he was nurturing, and he was so much more too.

 _'I am not only a noble and a taichou. I am a man of morality and compassion. I have a soul that yearns to give back to the world. I can love this child correctly. I deserve to love them.'_

Ichigo, the man who loved him into full bloom. He had tended to him well, but even the most seasoned horticulturist couldn't manage with unworkable soil. So Byakuya would keep telling himself these things. Even if they felt a bit forced, even if he didn't completely believe them, he'd add them to himself like fertilizer, and then one day, he'd see himself the way Ichigo did.

"Who is this child's other parent? I want them to know the entirety of their lineage."

"I'll go ahead and tell you, Kuchiki Taichou, I'm not sure how you'll feel about it."

If at all possible, Byakuya held his child even closer against him.

"What did you do?"

"Let's just say I'm a sentimental type of man."

 **xXx**

Ichigo, having just finished reporting on the success of his mission, stepped out of the first division gathering hall and onto the paved walkway. No longer did he pass by the arching columns was he met by the scolding words of Rukia.

"Hey, fruit for brains."

Ichigo turned to see her, arms crossed and wearing a shape shifter of an expression that went from pissed off to mildly concerned. He blinked at her a few times with eyes that felt like smudged glass.

"Rukia, what are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you, moron. You were more silent and broody than usual today."

"I'm just tired."

It wasn't completely a lie. Today's realization left him with an exhaustion that sleep wouldn't fix, and just the thought of telling Rukia why took more energy than he was willing to give.

Honestly, Ichigo didn't think he could deal with one of their cheeky, bordering on hostile back and fourths right now, and maybe Rukia realized that, because when he looked back over to her, she seemed anything but angry.

"Come on," she said, nudging him forward. "Lets walk back to the manor."

They did, and Ichigo's stomach grew more depthless with every lazily taken step, expanding into a pitless cavern. Every so often, pain would shoot out of it like the echos of someone crying for help.

He knew what this feeling was. He had felt it before, and he knew that if he didn't do something with it, it would make holes out of him.

Maybe that's what made him stop to turn towards Rukia and say, "Renji was in love with Byakuya."

Her face was cloaked in sunset tinted shadows, silent and without ripples. There was no shock, but only recognition.

"You knew?"

"No, but it makes sense. Maybe I knew without knowing, I guess."

What Rukia didn't show with her face, Ichigo heard in her voice, and when she turned her back to him to look at the trees, he was sure she was giving them an expression she was too strong to give to him.

He let her have her moment, because even though he thought himself strong enough to hold anything Rukia put on him, Ichigo knew this wasn't about himself. She would talk in her own time. If he learned anything from Byakuya, it was that all ice melted eventually.

"Renji use to say he was a stray dog," she said, an unmistakable stickiness in her voice. "Idiot… He never realized we were stray dogs together."

Ichigo wasn't sure how he didn't realize it before. It seemed obvious now, staring at Rukia's back, nothing but the hazy afternoon sun and the sound of stifled tears between them, what the real tragedy of this war was. But that's how it was, right? The things we see isn't what light we catch with our eyes, but what we choose to pay attention to.

Byakuya and Ichigo had each other. Renji would

be reincarnated and have a chance at a new life, but Rukia? All off her childhood friends had died, and now that Renji was gone, the man she probably loved, she was the last of her pack. A true stray dog.

"Rukia, I-"

"Anyway," she cut Ichigo off, wiping away any tears as she turned back around. "That's a useless thing to worry about."

It was, and even though it was still apart of him, unchecked, Rukia's words widened his perspective. He had it too good to let this bother him so much.

"You should know by now that sometimes bad things happen and all you can do is let them run their course."

And with that, they wordlessly started walking, the light crunching of leaves taking the place of conversation for a while.

Once they got close enough to the mansion for it to be visible in the horizon, Rukia stopped again.

"You'll have to carry it like all the other things that have happened. It'll always be there, but the longer you carry something, the stronger you get." She looked up to him with sharp shooting eyes and added, "If you want to make it up to him, go cherish the life we all fought for you to have. Make it worth something."

Ichigo looked out towards the mansion, it's edges made fuzzy by the wave of heat. It looked so far away, yet always so promising.

He smiled.

"I will."

As he began to walk again, he noticed Rukia wasn't following. He looked back with a confused frown.

"You coming? I thought you'd be freaking out to meet your new oi or mei?"

"I'll be over later," she said with an afterthought of a smile. "I think this should be a moment you share with just Nii-sama."

"What are you talking about?"

Rukia rolled her eyes.

"You know as well as I do that Nii sama isn't the only one become a parent today."

Ichigo's feet wavered, and he felt her words like weights attached to the crevices of his lips.

"I'm with Byakuya. That's all I know."

She tutted and flipped her wrist.

"Call it whatever you want. You two- three are a family now."

Ichigo opened his mouth only to close it. His eyes searched the ground before he looked back up to her and said, "Yeah, but you're family too."

Her smile crumbled at the edges, but wilfully stayed stretched across her face.

"I know… but it's not the same."

He wanted to contest it. Really, he did, as if his stubborn declarations would make it less true. They would always be friends, but he'd be lying if he said Byakuya wouldn't be and hadn't been the biggest part of his life for a while now.

Things wouldn't be completely the same between him and Rukia, and Ichigo was again reminded that there were some things you couldn't change. In every bad situation there would be good and in every good situation there would be bad. It was just the duality of life.

"We'll always be friends, Rukia."

She scoffed and the corners of her eyes moistened.

"Of course, there no easy way I'm getting out of that."

They stood regarding each other, exchanging nothing but a warm silence for a while. Both aware that they should probably leave, but still wanting to stretch out the moment.

Finally, Rukia said, "So… You and Nii-sama, huh?"

Ichigo smirked.

"Yeah, me and Byakuya. Its…"

"Unbelievable, I know. What he sees in you I will never understand."

Ichigo wore his happiness in the form of a scowl opposed to a smile this time, and before he could say anything else, a pair of arms flung themselves around his neck.

His reciprocating embrace was shocked and delayed, but just as earnest, and in his ear, he heard, "I'm really happy for you. Nii-sama and you, you both deserve it."

"Thanks you," he said, and he meant it with a full heart, because honestly, he needed to be reminded of that sometimes.

Rukia released him with a clearing of the throat, looking as strong willed as ever. "Tell Nii-sama that I'll be by later."

"Yeah," he said with a smile, "We'll be looking out for you."

As they went on their separate paths, Ichigo felt fresher, not as if he had learned something, but as if he had accepted something.

 **xXx**

When Ichigo opened the shinto doors to step onto the deck, it wasn't the newly sprouted red spider lilies that made him still in admiration, but something much more lively. From his comfortably observant distance, Ichigo could see just enough of the noble's face to note its determination. It fretted and stiffened as if readying itself for battle, but at the way Byakuya almost anxiously held a bit of his bottom lip between his teeth, Ichigo knew this was no normal enemy.

He was kneeled down beside Fujita, who was, by the looks of it, showing Byakuya how to change a diaper, and Ichigo almost laughed at the sight. Byakuya could've easily gave that job to his attendants and no one would've thought less of him, but Byakuya was a man with something to prove.

"Oh no, no, no," Fujita said, swatting Byakuya's hands away "You have to fold it this way- Ah yes, that's correct. Now remember to always put this cream on her after every changing." She looked down at the baby with a huge, cooing grin and lightly tickled her tummy. "Or this cute little tush will get a diaper rash."

"Is this baby babble going to be a continuous thing?"

Fujita looked up to the noble with a coy smirk before pinching his chin between two fingers. "I spoke baby talk to you also, Lord Kuchiki. A child needs more than the truncated lexicon of a nobleman. For instance," she said, plopping her hands down on her knees before standing up. "My little heiress needs a warm bottle, which I am going to go fix right now."

As she turned, she saw Ichigo and they both wore the smiles of devious children. She winked at him and put a finger up to her lips as she walked inside the mansion.

Byakuya stood with the swaddled babies head resting on his shoulder and his hand protectively cradling her neck. He swayed ever so gently, humming what sounded like a lullaby as his eyes blended into a sunset of yellows, oranges, and pinks.

Ichigo thought of all the paintings and ballets that came from the ashes of tragedy and what it was that made people love them. He thought that, maybe it wasn't the work itself, but the artist who crafted them. It was the ability to make beautiful things not only in spite of the darkness, but because of it. It was their ability to grow, to evolve in a cold and lightless place that was able to inspire and move the people around them.

Byakuya was that artist, and his daughter that masterpiece, and as such, it inspired more than a sense of hope or breathless passion in Ichigo, but a victory. Here, looking at Byakuya holding his child, more colorful than ever, he finally felt as if they won the war.

A tear split down his cheek and onto his taunt lips, and in passive reverence, he watched as Byakuya created art.

"There are many things I am excited to share with you, my little one," Byakuya spoke, the faint words drifting as effortlessly as the wind. "Your first steps and words. Your lineage. I want to hear you play and laugh. I want to tell you stories of all the brave men and women who made a way for you. I want to teach you how to hold a zanpakuto, but mostly, I want you to be happy, to feel my love." The baby garbled, and Byakuya caressed her blanketed covered head as he turned in a semicircle so that he was facing Ichigo's direction. "There are also many people I want you to meet. You have already met Fujita, as she will be a big part of your life. She is a bit intrusive and will try to stuff you with tea and baked goods, but it is from a place of well intent, so we allow it."

Ichigo caught a chuckle between his pursed lips, and linked fingers behind his back like a fidgety child attempting to keep their hands to themselves.

"Rukia, she is the ferices person I have ever known, both in her warrior spirit and in the weight of her heart. She will be a great role model for you."

He carefully situated the baby in his overlapped arms and her head sat tucked in the crook of his elbow. Pensively, he sighed through a humble pair of upwardly curving lips. "Then there is Ichigo," Byakuya said. "He will protect you with his life as if it was his birthright if only because he knows no other way to be. He is, for better or worse, ridiculously stubborn. He is sometimes, and at times, bordering on uncivilized, but... he is also kind, generous, a truly unique and beautiful soul. He will find hope in a situation where there is seemingly none. He will never let you lose yourself...and I love him for that." The baby reached out a hand, tiny fingers searching for something to hold. Byakuya gave her his finger with a slightly bigger smile and said, "He is also a horrible spy."

"I thought I was doing pretty good."

"Or so I let you believe," Byakuya said, lifting his head to perk a brow.

"It was worth the try." As the sun moved in the sky, his eyes slitted, stranded between half open and half closed in a want to see the way Byakuya glittered under the grainy, tangerine light that saturated the whole space, a light too direct to open his eyes to fully. "You're really beautiful when you don't think anyones watching."

The sun moved again, and Ichigo shut his eyes at the sting. They were both blind, and for a moment, there was no light or words, nothing unnecessary, just the barest of silence. It was in these pauses they took and the words they couldn't find that something more honest than sight and sound was found.

Ichigo's body subtly shook as he lumbered over to Byakuya, and he realized, for the first time, that he was actually nervous. He wiped his palms against his uniform and let out a slow breath as he guided them out of the sun's focus. "So, you're a tōchan now?" he asked in a way that he was sure betrayed the firm, confident grasp he had on Byakuya's forearm.

Byakuya pursed his lips as if to hide a smile. "I prefer chichi, but yes," he said, eyes closing and words wavering just enough for Ichigo to realize he was nervous too. "I would like to formally introduce you to someone." Byakuya stepped further into the shade of the overhang and gently removed the hooded cloth that was protecting the babies face. "This is Kuchiki Shion, the Musume of Kuchiki Byakuya and Abarai Renji."

Ichigo eyes kept Byakuya's mouth as if to make sure he heard him right before looking down at the cream skinned infant. He instinctively brushed over the patchy crimson hair, and her gray peeping eye turned up to him, making him quickly coil his fingers back in hesitation.

There was a new burning in his eyes that had nothing to do with the sun's beams. Ichigo blinked several times, trying to empty himself of the tension that filled his throat and gathered in his temples. He wasn't sure how he felt about this, but when he looked up to see Byakuya openly smiling, he smiled too, and there was no better answer than that.

"Wow. She's…

"Perfect," Byakuya said definitively, prompting Ichigo to thumb the noble's cheek and let out a raspy, "Yeah."

"Actually," Fujita said walking up from behind them, bottle in hand, "I'd say she has three chichi." She handed Ichigo the bottle, adding, "Lucky girl, she is."

"Fujita-san-"

"I only speak the truth," Fujita said, cutting off Byakuya's scolding before flashing away.

Ichigo smirked.

"I think it's better not to argue with her."

Byakuya lips curled into a more careful smirk before he added, "You are probably right."

And they left it at that, because anything else was just worthless complications. They were no longer the type of men to ruin moments with uncertainty and waste time on useless conversations. If they wanted, they could talk about grandiose titles and what they were and weren't ready for, but they knew, in the simplest of terms, what they had. They had each other, their love, and an undetermined amount of time to see where those things took them. They had much more than most.

"Would you like to feed her, Ichigo?"

Ichigo held tightly to the bottle as if it was his zanpakuto, a frightening challenge that he now had to overcome. "Sure. But It's been a long time."

"That is okay," Byakuya said, nodding in affirmation. "I have never feed an infant before. This is a chance for you to teach me something for once."

Ichigo snorted mockingly as he laid a leading hand on the dip of Byakuya's back. "Come on, let's sit. It's easy," he taunted, "something even a guy like you can do."

They sat side by side in a cross legged position, and Ichigo took the baby with the type of prudence that you reserved for only the most important of situations. "You'll want her to be sitting more in an upright position," he explained, placing the now shimming infant on his tigh. "Then you'll support her with the crook of your arm and," he picked up the bottle and placed the nipple in her mouth, which she clamped onto instantly. "Then you just have to tilt the bottle upwards. See, easy?"

Shion flapped her arms and wiggled her feet, and Ichigo bit his beaming lips. "She's going to be energetic."

"I suppose she will take after Renji in that way."

Ichigo playfully bumped shoulders with Byakuya and said, "Don't blame it all on him. I've hear stories about how you were as a kid."

"I haven't the slightest clue what you are talking about. I have always been a paragon of discipline.

Ichigo shook his head in humoured ridicule before looking more thoughtfully at the provoking spectrum of colour in Byakuya's aimless eyes. "Hey, Byakuya, do you want to see Shion?"

The noble's face tempered, but his eyes flickered wildly. "...Please."

They quickly slipped their soul ribbons around each other, and pink eclipsed everything as Byakuya looked a Shion for the first time. His lips rounded, showing emotion that existed only behind the closed doors of their company.

There was real life magic crafted by the moment. It was a mutually welcomed trance, and they wore their hospitality in the form of shared smiles. They leaned in and tasted what the occasion conjured on each other's tongue. They savored it, made it last, because they both knew that the best spells were the ones that went by the quickest.

After they pulled back, the three sat there well past sun down, and to Ichigo's surprise, somewhere in between their enjoyably silent intimacy, Byakuya fell asleep with his head leaning against the shinto doors.

"Lord Kuchiki is asleep?" Fujita asked in a hushed voice, walking up to the three. "How unlike him."

"Having a kid takes a lot out of a person. The soul lock too." He looked up to Fujita before nodding towards Shion. "Would you mind, Fujita?"

She eagerly picked up the slumbering Shion who didn't flinch in the slightest at the transfer, and Ichigo thought she slept like Renji too. Ichigo made sure Byakuya was comfortably barred against the doors before standing up.

"Dinner is ready. Should I wake Lord Kuchiki?"

Ichigo stretched and gave the slumbering noble a thoughtful glance. "I have to go somewhere real quick. Rukia's suppose to be coming over later, so I'd just let him rest before she gets here."

"He will be in a tiff if she finds him like that, but I suppose a few more minutes won't hurt." She narrowed her brows and said, "Should I ask where you're going?"

Ichigo smiled and waved off her concern. "Don't worry, Fujita, I'm not getting into trouble or anything."

She gave him a motherly look of disbelief as she continued to rock Shion. "Mhmm, well, I would hope not. We already have one child."

Ichigo snorted and hopped off the deck. "Exactly. You should spend your energy worrying about her." He gave the woman a quick over the shoulder glance before saying, "I'll be back soon."

 **xXx**

It hadn't changed much. Other than the seasonally altered state of the Tsubaki trees and the ever growing momentous that surrounded them, the circle seemed to be frozen in time. Of course, that was what monuments were supposed to do, act as a memorial for a place and time you'll never see again.

Ichigo didn't come here often. Lately, he didn't come at all, and as shameful as that made him feel, he knew that was how it was suppose be. The hard truth that no one told you about moving on is that it takes a little bit of forgetting.

An even harder truth was that every time you come, it hurts less and less. And that is hard, not because you're attached to the scars, but to the people who gave them to you. It's like losing the last part of a person you have.

Only that wasn't the last part of Renji Ichigo had. He had Byakuya. He had every bit of life that Renji sacrificed for, and now, he had Shion. She was probably the biggest part of himself he left behind, even if he did so unwittingly.

The tapestry of keepsakes laid out in front of the 6th divisions tree were made visible by a few freshly lit candles. He picked up Renji's photo and regarded it through the low gleam reflecting on the glass. The frame was a bit weathered, wood splintering at the sides. It would need to be replaced soon.

It was sentimentality that brought him here. This wasn't Renji's resting place, and he knew enough to understand that, wherever Renji was now, he didn't care about the woeful vows given by the people he left behind.

Maybe that's why people came here, because It was a little sliver of history living amongst them, a whole other world that elapsed with their own. This was the place you went to talk to memories. This was the place where it was okay to live in the past.

Ichigo placed the picture back carefully before pressing his palms into the thick of his thighs. With nothing to distract him, he was truly alone, just him, his memories of Renji, and a one way conversation he didn't know how to start.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo blurted, the words coming out less like an apology and more like the regurgitation of something rotten that had been stirring inside of him for way too long. "I know if you could, you'd tell me there's no reason to be, but I am, so there."

His words lingered defiantly, as if Ichigo expect opposition, as if Renji might manifest right there and draw his sword in something like brotherly disapproval. At the inevitable lack thereof, Ichigo felt an empty space that was once filled by Renji's vivacity stretch and creak, as if to remind him that it was still there. God, Ichigo knew it was still there.

"You deserved more, but… I'm starting to understand that life doesn't give us what we deserve. It gives us moments."

Life, as unfair as it could be, was kinder than most people thought. It liked to open up doors for us, but we all too often walked right over the welcoming mat. Either out of fear, oblivion, or just plain bad timing, we often let our lives be defined more by the doors we walked past instead of the ones we walked through.

"It's up to us what we do with the moment. So, I guess, I'm sorry that you never got that moment, or that you did, but you didn't feel like you could take advantage of it." His voice lowered, not out of secrecy, but out of the damn emotional strain of it all. "You always thought there be more…"

"But, at the same time, I'm not sorry, and I think that's what I'm sorry about the most."

Ichigo's knees were starting to ach. He was being sucked at by mosquitos, and his stomach was starting it's painful protest for food, but that all seemed like minor annoyances when compared to the tightness of his throat, the way it burned with the truth.

"I benefited off your sacrifice. Everything I have, everything you wanted, I only have it because you died. I'd like to say I give it all back, that if there was some magical button that I could hit where I could go back before the war, before Byakuya and Shion, before you died, that I would. But... I know that's not true."

And there it was, guilt, self loathing, and sadness, all of his nastiest feeling thrown up on the floor. His mouth felt dry and tasted like sickness, but there was a healing in that. Ichigo knew that the excess was out of him now, and all that remained was the barest of truths.

And the truth was this: That the truth is conflicting, that the whole world was! It was a mass of clashing colors, a riddle that had no right answer. Everything, from the way he both mourned his friend's death yet celebrated the hereafter, all the light made from the dark, the fact Byakuya and him were together at all, it was all so senseless in both beautiful and horrifying ways, but Ichigo thought that that was how it was suppose to be. He wasn't suppose to understand why things happened the way that they did, and the world didn't owe him an explanation. It gave us it's best and worst parts, but after that, it was up to us to decide what we built out of them.

"All I can say now is thank you. I'll cherish it. I'll love Byakuya and take care of Shion in the way you would if you could, and I'll make sure Shion knows who you are. That's a promise!"

"And Kurosaki Ichigo never breaks a promise, yes?" He heard Byakuya say as he simultaneously felt arms drape across his shoulders and hands preoccupy his chest.

He leaned into that comfort, inhaled the sakura, and noted how the richness of Byakuya's voice hummed in his ear moments after his words were finished.

"How'd you know where to find me?"

"You can be surprisingly predictable at times."

Ichigo didn't think it was that, but more that Byakuya just knew him that well. He smiled, deciding not to share that thought.

The candles were out now, and all Ichigo could see in front of him were the outlines of the trees and all the past it represented. "I forget sometimes that you build this," he said. "I still think it's amazing every time I remember."

"I merely sowed the seeds," Byakuya said. "It was a group effort really."

"We needed something to bring us together."

"True." He shifted a bit and sighed into Ichigo's neck. "Sometimes I think it was both the mourning and hope of our land that grew these trees."

"Isn't everything built that way?"

"My, how sage of you."

Ichigo could feel Byakuya's smirk like hot breath wiping down his spin, and he couldn't help but to smirk back. He knew Byakuya understood what he meant, that everything we give back to the world, rather it be a tree, a piece of art, or even a scientific development was because the world once took something away. Pain inspired us. That was just another one of those wonderful contradiction.

"Yeah," he teased. "I've been spending too much time with this pompous know it all who thinks he's the next Confucius."

Byakuya hummed in amusement with lips pressed against the bend of Ichigo's neck, making Ichigo further embrace the arms holding him in the dark. They said seeing is believing, but so was feeling and hearing. So was tasting and smelling, and even in the absence of all those things, there was still hope.

"Do you see it, Ichigo," Byakuya whispered in his ear, "all the things that we will build together?"

Everyday they built things, even if it was things inside of themselves that only each other could see. Even if it was just pillars to support their already strong bong. As for the future, well…

Ichigo looked up to the ceaseless sky, boundless with possibilities, and through that dark void shimmered stars from light years away. He was looking at the future, and even if those stars exploded, their light would still reach them for years thereafter. He wouldn't know if that future he saw so blatantly was still there until he was standing amidst it, but even knowing that, there was always hope for a tomorrow.

"Yeah, I do."


End file.
